what-if-i-was-a-book

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When boredom hits and you can’t be bothered to finish

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I love this so much

sigh. just another day scrubbing the floor and mowing the lawn and dusting and doing the laundry for the rest of my pack. but the house has to be in especially perfect shape today because Alpha Jameson has an important meeting with another Alpha from across the river. If they come to an agreement, the Newport and Cincinnati packs might finally have peace for the first time in decades. No more fighting….But they say the Newport Alpha is the most ruthless wolf who’s ever lived. Can our hotheaded Alpha really find a compromise with a man like that? I have to hope for the best…with a deal between our packs, the months of new business negotiations will have everyone so busy, they won’t have time to push me around. Alpha Jameson might even be too distracted to think about me. The thought is almost too good to be true. I’ve been his scapegoat to treat like trash ever since he and my younger sister claimed each other as mates. There was a time when we were kids when it was me on his arm at dinners and parties. But then we grew up, and…..I never got my Wolf. I’m a freak, and everyone knows it. Of course he couldn’t stay with me. Not that I’d want to be with him now anyway. These days he can’t even say my name without spitting it. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I never get my Wolf, and I get banished to live among humans. But then I remember my childhood best friend. She was so pretty—brown eyes, with brunette hair she always wore in a bun. I was homeschooled with my pack, of course, and she went to the local high school. We met at the library….our shared sanctuary. She didn’t have any other friends, and neither did I. We hung out every chance we got. Until one day when we were 16…her brother told me she was gone. I found out that their mom gave her away to a boy band, and I haven’t seen her since. That’s when I realized the human world is just as ruthless as the wolfen. No, banishment wouldn’t be better. But I don’t know how much longer I’ll survive this place either. Most days, keeping my head down and doing what I’m told isn’t enough to keep me out of trouble.

But things could be worse. Yesterday I overheard my sister talking to Beta Devon about the deal Alpha Jameson is making with the Newport Alpha. Apparently, he’s requested a woman from our pack as his mate. With his reputation, I could almost feel bad for whoever Alpha Jameson chooses for him, even though the women in our pack treat me even worse than the men. I’m an embarrassment to them because I don’t have my Wolf.

Whatever. At least I know it won’t be me, because I’m not important enough to be married off……..

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map i made.

I live in a yaoi state 😔

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Tiny YQY and SJ!

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Okay ykw this made me laugh, thanks

Oh so when Luo Binghe channels his trauma into cruelty it's ""cool"" and he's the ""stallion protagonist"" but when I, Shen Jiu—

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Swinging wildly between revulsion and obsession cause sometimes i want to never read anything other than that again and sometimes i want to never read anything at all again

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been entertaining myself during work by imagining a cyberpunk 2077 type svsss au. shen jiu has replaced as much of his body as possible with robot parts and yue qi is corpo scum.

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MDZS transmigration matchmaking game

imagine the following: one day, your soul/consciousness is transmigrated into the world of MDZS exactly 1 week after the death of jin guangyao at the guanyin temple. you will inhabit the body of one character for 5 years; during this time, your objective is to get two specific characters together for at least 1 year.

spin the above wheel thrice.

the result of your first spin is the character whose body your soul has been transmigrated into. you will have full access to all of this character's abilities. until you depart, this character's consciousness will be dormant.

the results of your next two spins are the two characters you must successfully matchmake, in a romantic sense. in order for your matchmaking to be considered successful, the two characters involved must consciously and mutually decide to begin a romantic relationship together, and subsequently stay together for at least 1 year.

for repeats:

if, across 3 spins, you only get 2 unique characters (ie. meaning that 1 of the characters was repeated), then that means that you yourself, in the body of the first character you got, must get together with the second character you got for at least 1 year.

if, across 3 spins, you only get 1 unique character (ie. meaning that you got the same character 3 times), then spin the wheel until you get another character. then follow the above bullet point about getting 2 unique characters.

at the end of your 5 years, your soul will be returned to your original body in the real world, in which no time has passed at all; the consciousness of the character whose body you inhabited will regain full control of their body.

if you successfully matchmade your two assigned characters, then you will receive your local currency's equivalent of 5 million dollars, tax-free. if you did not successfully matchmake your two assigned characters as explained above, then you get nothing.

concerning pre-existing relationships:

if you are assigned to matchmake characters A and B, but A and B are already in a relationship, then all you have to do in order to succeed is ensure A and B stay together for at least 1 year.

if you are assigned to matchmake characters A and B, but A and another character C are already in a relationship, then all of the following count as successes:

breaking up A and C, and then getting A and B together, and then ensuring A and B stay together for at least 1 year.

adding B to the relationship between A and C as a third, and getting this arrangement to last for at least 1 year.

having A simultaneously date C and B, whether through consensual polyamory or through cheating, and getting this arrangement to last for at least 1 year.

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You know every show that the premise is like “people find out ghosts/monsters/demons are real and are charged with stopping them” appeal to me way more now as a post-graduate not because I believe in ghosts more or whatever but because can you IMAGINE just being handed a job that you don’t even need to apply for? Like just being told “basically there’s this bad thing and all you do is make sure it doesn’t do what it wants” that’s just customer service baby and I worked that for 6 goddamn years! Just TRY getting past “I have a job to offer you” before I can jump down your throat agreeing.

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My little brother just said that if we count backwards, all the numbers would be afraid of 9 because 987

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People who love cold weather are fucking weird. You like to freeze? You like to shiver?? You like when you take a step outside and the air stings your skin???

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I don’t like it when people love Shen Jiu but talk shit about Yue Qingyuan.

Were they not both abused in the same place? Were they not both quite literally slaves? Did they not both suffer immensely?

People talk about how much Shen Jiu has suffered, how he is a perfect example of someone who was unable to break the cycle of abuse, how he deserves to get healing. But in the next breath will talk shit about Yue Qingyuan for enabling and covering up the abuse that Shen Jiu inflicted.

It isn’t just because of his guilt. Yue Qingyuan is not just some corrupt authority figure. He is a perfect example of how fawn is just as much of a fear response as fight/flight/freeze. His entire personality is shaped around not rocking the boat, around treating people with kindness, around avoidance. The person he feels the most indebted to displays so much of the same behaviors as the man who abused them both. Can you imagine how painful that feels? How terrifying that feels?

Of course he would do everything he can to appease him. He loves Shen Jiu, and wants him to heal. He feels guilty that he could not save him from the abuse they both endured. He also probably cannot handle Shen Jiu’s behavior without feeling some sort of fear response. And thus he does what he learned could save himself: Treat the person as good as you can as to try and soften the blow you’re bound to get.

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your daughter is a pleasure to have on the dashboard

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so true

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For as little as MXTX cares about women she sure did a banger job of making mothers in MDZS infinitely more present in the narrative/influential than fathers huh

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[Art day 7]