what-couldve-happened

[what-couldve-happened]

;

This one goes out to her, who, thought about taking her life away. She thought about it a few times. She had no one to stop her. She had nothing else to lose. She waited for someone to notice the unhappiness in her eyes. Shes waiting patiently every single given day. Telling herself "one more sunset" . She doesnt know she was gonna do it.

Then one day , she found hope. She had faith. And now shes living everyone moment like its her last. The smile is finally where it should be.

;

[what-couldve-happened]

Montreal 10/22/2017

[what-couldve-happened]

HEATING Fred Meyer but if you guidelines

[what-couldve-happened]

[what-couldve-happened]

Here’s the story from A to Z

So its been a while since ive last posted anything on this blog but heres a little summary of whats been going on. 

I was in a relationship with this guy that i had met through mutual friends. We did not know each other much when we decided to date and honestly i dont know why i even accepted to date him. Anyway it was good for the first 5 months, we went fishing, i met his friends and family and we had good times. However, after about 6 months a lot of red flags came to my attention. One, he wasnt a family guy; he was always against his family (parents and siblings) , always in disagreement and always fighting. His parents are pretty old and starting to show signs of aging such as back pains and weak knees. And as someone that was raised the way i was family always came first. Two, I was never comfortable to introduce him to my family. Theyve met of course but not as my boyfriend. Three, I noticed after a while that we would never be alone, either our friend would be around or we would be with his friends at the same bar at the same time on the same day. 

After realizing those red flags, i also noticed how i was more of a “homie” than a girlfriend. I was the one supplying the booze most of the time or the herb.I was unhappy after awhile. He didnt want to make love to me anymore and i couldnt figure out why. Obviously, I immediately assume that i was the problem, that maybe i wasnt attractive enough. I fell into depression. I wasnt comfortable in my own skin. I thought to myself that i wasnt good enough for him and always put my happiness aside and put his before mine. I beated myself up at night, couldnt sleep , couldnt eat, couldnt think straight. At the same time that this depression was going on, i had other problems like financially wise and family wise. So everything was happening to me at the same time and he started to notice a change in my behavior. I tried talking to him about my anxiety problem and he didnt take it very seriously, he did give me a pep talk but i went more like “suck it up, get over it” type of pep talk. As for my self-esteem, i wasnt comfortable in my body, i didnt feel sexy i didnt feel pretty. All he said was “you know a girl with confidnce is attractive” i honestly didnt know how to take that. 

Its not that i was demanding attention from him but looking more into being appreciated as a person and as a girlfriend. 

So eventually we broke it off, well he did anyway. But during the breaking up i was already reacquainting with an old friend. Me and this old friend had some history together. It started freshman year when my sister and i decided to form a dance group. He was friends with most of the dancers that joined and thats how we met. He had this huge crush on me back then and i friendzoned him. After some time of hanging together we became really close. I told him everything and he told me everything. I started having this crush on him and he ended up friend zoning me. So we continued being close friends and whenever id find myself in difficult situations and my girls couldnt understand i would go to him for comfort.

When we reacquainted, all these feelings i had for him came back. I finally told him how ive felt about him all these years. And now we are a couple. Its terrifying but when youre in love with someone and it feels right, youre willing to do everything and anything to keep it healthy. He made sure i loved myself again before letting me in and i think thats what got me hooked. He cared about my feelings. 

[what-couldve-happened]

[what-couldve-happened]

Your mother was a pothead and your father was a raver

[what-couldve-happened]

😄

[what-couldve-happened]

😄

[what-couldve-happened]

High and dry

[what-couldve-happened]

Chillin like villains

[what-couldve-happened]

Summer 2016 pt 2 - Backyard bbq - Car meets - Chalet weekend with the cousins - Jessie's Baby shower