whalienjxy

[whalienjxy]

fun fact i havent been able to read past the point that gojo got sealed in

but how bad would a kiss to the temple and a “i’ll see you tonight.” be from gojo before he leaves for shibuya?

it would probably feel worse to look back on if u had this nasty feeling in your gut all day. something wasn’t quite right, and given the situation, you had every reason to worry.

everyone was set around the curtain. all teams ready to advance, waiting for the gojo satoru to arrive as anticipated.

you two were on some rooftop somewhere. uniforms tight, cursed energy buzzing under your skin. you hold him by the material of his top.

“i dont feel good about this.” you try to tell him. satoru smiles down at you, a hand coming up to your cheek as he watches you contently. “let’s ditch them. we can leave the whole damn continent and never look back.”

“you know we can’t do that, baby.”

your head falls to his chest with a thud. a hand laces through your hair comfortingly as the other brings you closer by the waist, and gojo stays silent.

for a few minutes there, you two just exist. the only thing you can hear is the sound of your mixed breath and the soft material of your uniforms, and you genuinely wish you had the ability to stop time somehow.

“i have to go.” the way your body tenses in his arms doesn’t sit right with him. he puts both hands to your cheeks and raises your head up to meet his covered gaze, but you still manage to stare right through his soul.

“i’m gonna be fine.” He affirms, a familiar smile stretching on his face. “i’m the strongest, remember? no one can get me.”

he is the strongest. you have enough faith in him to cover the whole universe.

“no one but you.” he says, smile softening just a bit, and something curls in your chest. you don’t get to see him like this often. “no one.”

you let your eyes flutter closed when he leans in, and soon enough, warmth engulfs your lips. he kisses you slowly, savoring it, carving it in the folds of his brain. his scent blinds you, overtakes you, leaving an imprint. it smells like home.

when you break apart, gojo is a bit surprised when you push him a bit, letting him lose all contact of you. you turn away from him, sweaty palms sliding down your pants, letting out a shaky breath to the universe.

“okay,” you tell him, nodding a bit too frantically. “okay, let’s just go. the sooner we’re done the better.”

satoru hums, and you hear the sound of his steps as he makes his way back to you. hands grabbing your head from his height, he places a kiss to the crown of your head.

“mmm,” he hums delightedly. his arms fall to your front from behind, and he squeezes you one last time. with one last kiss to your temple, gojo satoru mumbles in your ear. “i’ll see you tonight.”

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pls reblog so i can find my old followers again!:(

[whalienjxy]

I CRI THIS MAKES ME SO FUCKING SOFT PLS I LOVE LEVI SM

say its almost 5 am, right, and youve been tossing and turning all night. not sleeping nor awake.

levi is usually the one going through this, but it seems to be your turn to take the baton. your body flinches with every rumble of thunder, the crack of lightening visible even through your closed lids, pulling you out of your weak excuse of a slumber.

and you were tired. damn, you were fucking exhausted, and the frustration of not being able to sleep starts to get to you around dawn. you can't help but whimper out, a pained expression plastered to your face, and levi's attention is all on you.

truth is, he never really fell into deep sleep as you tossed and turned. he thought you’d caught a cold or had a stomach ache, so keeping himself alert was instinctive. better safe than sorry, ey?

he was shaken awake with every flinch, every time you tugged your body closer to him, and he tried his best to comfort you subtly like this.

but that’s it. you’re not getting an ounce of sleep. you won’t be able to hold out long in training the next day.

one last moan of discomfort was all it took for his eyes to flutter open. it takes him a few seconds to adjust to the darkness, but he sees you flinch with yet another bright crack of lightening.

you tug your face firmly in your pillow, your body helplessly turned to him with your knees up to your chest. you wiggled your toes, knuckles turning white from your grip on yourself, and that was levi’s first target.

he touches your strained fist, the hand trailing up your forearm to eventually settle on your back. he adjusts his own position, turning fully towards you as he stretches out an arm under your head, and you immediately latch onto him like a koala.

he fixes the covers properly on you, moving his hand up and down slowly as he grazes his lips on your forehead.

you think you're dreaming when you hear a deep hum coming from beside you as levi begins to recite a lullaby he vaguely manages to remember.

“darling i’d wait for you,” he hums, lips moving on your skin as if to carve the words there. “even if you didn’t ask me to.”

soon enough, his chin rests on the top of your head. his scent blinds your senses as you inhale deeply, only to release all the tension in your body with an exhale.

“tie a lasso around the moon, and bring it on down to you.”

with your ears so close to his chest, you can hear his voice coming from inside. you feel the vibrations as the deep voice continues, and you fight the urge to pinch yourself just to make sure that this is real.

”i’d bottle the feelings you give me, and shelve that stuff for years to come.”

your body progressively turns into putty in his arms. he continues to rub your back, tangling your legs together just perfectly, and the sigh you produce in the crook of his neck strokes his sleepy ego.

”cause baby when your arms are around me,” he squeezes you just enough. “i’d swear that i’m holding the sun.”

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pls reblog so i can find my old followers again!:(

[whalienjxy]

its late, i feel like i love him a little extra, so here is some gojo.

say its just before dawn. you’re alone in bed, dozing in and out of a light sleep as you wait for a certain albino that seems to be getting just above the late-line where you start to worry.

but the sound of a door opening and closing in distance manages to shake away the sleep just enough to pay attention to the carelessly heavy footsteps, and its astonishing just how you know how tired satoru is just by the sound of his footsteps.

the first few buttons of his uniform were already popped when he appeared by the doorway of your bedroom, his blindfold hanging loosely on his neck instead.

he stops by the door when he notices eyes staring right back at his, a heavy sigh slouching his broad shoulders.

“you waited for me again.”

“how can i not?”

satoru drags his feet to you, a blank expression on his face as he allows his (very) heavy weight to fall on top of you, his head finding its rightful place on your chest.

you pull his top off, throwing it somewhere to the side for future you to worry about. his blindfold also flies somewhere, and you pull satoru up in a more comfortable position where his cheek is against your collarbone, and your hands begin to work their magic through his bright hair.

“i’m glad you’re back home.” you always make sure to let him hear this.

he replies with a faint kiss to your neck, and you can already hear soft snores coming from his parted lips.

satoru knows, then, as he sinks in comfortable sleep after a shitty day, that he will always pick this over anything. your arms wrapping around him like this, protective, caring, warm, he’d always keep it a secret hideout, where he can comfortably feel as small as he wants because he knows you will always care for him.

and he sure as hell can’t wait to wake up and show you how he feels all over again.

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pls reblog so i can find my old followers again!:(

[whalienjxy]

repost from my old blog<3

idk why this has been on my mind all morning but like

imagine you just exorcised a very fucking stubborn curse that almost put u six feet under. maybe it was intentional for u to be sent out on this mission on your own without satoru? you’re heaving, laying on your back on the verge of a panic attack because what the actual fuck just happened?

you succumb out of the veil, eyes wide as you watch the evaporating remainings of the monster a few feet away from you. you’re still on your back, crawling and crawling away, willing yourself to just get the fuck up and get far away from here.

you begin to cry, then, when the veil finally starts to disappear and you can see the night sky again. You try to get up to no avail, scared out of your mind, living and reliving the whole fight again in your brain like it was some kinda mantra just stuck in there.

you scream when something touches your shoulders, putting whatever is remaining of your strength to flinch away from whatever it is, but is just not enough. Against your weak struggle and raw sobs you are pulled in someones chest from behind, their arms wrapping around your middle firmly.

“I’m here now,” you hear him, and your eyes finally close. Your sobs get louder, fists now curling around the forearms around your stomach in fear. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay. You’ve done well. You’re safe now. You’re safe.”

gojo doesn’t raise his voice a pitch. He keeps it low and gentle and soft so your glass doesn’t crack further, but he knows it’s already shattered beyond repair. You shuffle closer hurriedly, getting on your knees to turn around and hide yourself away from the whole damn world in his chest, knuckles turning white from your firm grip on his uniform.

“‘toru…” you whimper, another sob rocking your whole body against his.

you’re thankful for his firm embrace around you. it’s grounding, squeezing all the pent up emotion right out of you as you cry and cry and cry because oh god you’re safe now. because that was fucking scary and you were on your own and you deserve to feel scared because as much of a sorcerer, you sure as hell still are a human being.

one of his hands is in your hair. “it was scary, huh?”

“s-suh…so fu-ucking scary,” you sob, and it does nothing but break his heart.

“You exorcised it, though,” gojo tells you. he begins to rock you both gently as you continue to empty your feelings tucked into his body like that. “you’ve done wonderfully, my little sorcerer. you’re so strong.”

his words do nothing but make you cry harder, and you don’t know where the tears keep coming from anymore. you’re no longer scared, you’re never scared when saturo is around, but it’s the fact that he’s finally here, and you feel safe again after god only know how many hours of a tireless fight for your life.

gojo looks at the trashed field where you almost met your doom only a few minutes ago with fire in his chest. he is still rocking you left and right, you begin to calm down gradually, and he thinks of all the things he is going to do in his little visit to the higher ups for sending you here on your own.

“always so strong. always making me the proudest i can be.”

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pls reblog so i can find my old followers again!:(

[whalienjxy]

sniff sniff i love this one i love him sm

“do you ever regret it?” you ask. “loving me?”

“why would i ever regret that?” he asks in a low whisper, fingertips drawing invisible lines on your exposed hip bone.

“i feel like…” you pause, sighing as you turn your head to the ceiling on his chest. “i feel like we’re holding each other back.”

satoru is quiet. he holds his breath, fingers halting on your skin.

“i wouldn’t want someone using me just to get you,” you elaborate, and gojo exhales. “i feel like…i don’t know. we keep each other weak?” you looking up at him, a hand leaning on a smooth chest. your eyes pour into his endless ocean. “i keep you weak.”

he keeps looking at you for a few seconds before a hand reaches up to cup your cheek. “you keep me sane.”

you pout just a bit, and satoru pulls you up to kiss it away. “you keep me tied down. grounded.” he tugs your hair away from your face as your arm cages his bigger body underneath you. “if anything, the fact that you’re the only weak spot i have says a lot.”

“i don’t want you to have a weak spot because of me.”

“i wouldn’t have it any other way,” he pushes you down to your previous position, a hand climbing to your hair while the other returns to your hip.

you stay quiet this time around, unconvinced, weighed down by your own overthinking. he comforts you like this, fingers massaging your scalp, calm breathes lulling you to sleepiness.

“i know choosing to be in a relationship this serious in a life like ours is risky,” satoru mumbles some time later. he squeezes you in, turning to fully face your body. “but i won’t find this anywhere else.”

you look up, and he finally sees the little tears clouding your vision. a smile stretches his lips pleasantly and a hand raises to swipe a thumb under a tearful eye, and you lean in his touch like a starved kitten.

“i won’t find you anywhere else.”

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pls reblog so i can find my old followers again!:(

[whalienjxy]

did yall notice that i recently started kinning getou or should i make it more obvious

you’d often wake up in the middle of the night. you’d throw you hand to the side and either search for someone, or search for your phone to call that someone.

that someone hated to be disturbed when he was sleeping. he’d usually keep his phone turned off or silent until you two started going out and he had learned of your sleeping habits.

he would stay with you on the phone. asked you if you had a nightmare, what you ate that night, if you have water nearby that you can drink, then listen to your breathes as they deepen once again, and eventually lull him to sleep.

“sugu…” you’d always wake up calling.

he’d reach out to grab you right away if you’re sleeping together. you wouldn’t even have to open your eyes, he’d already be there to wrap you up in his arms again. his hair would tickle your cheek at some point, you coped by just shoving your face in his chest and enjoyed the feelings of lazy fingers massaging your scalp.

it became a little habit of yours. his name being the first thing your mind demands, and his arms effortlessly finding you without even opening his eyes.

but what do you do when you can’t find arms waiting for you anymore?

“sugu…” you call, hands already patting down his side of the bed.

the usually warm space is cold. your arms look for your phone, eyes cracking open to look for a certain contact before you push the phone to your ear.

“sorry, this number does not exist.” you let the crook of your elbow cover your eyes. “Please re-check your contact info and try again.”

“suguru,” you call again when the line goes quiet. your lips quiver, already heavy eyes weighted down with tears, and you don’t attempt to hold them back. “suguru—“

“sorry, this number does not exist.”

your phone slips from your hand when you put an arm over the other, as if to push the tears back in. you sob, merciless flashes of long midnight hair and echoes of a lost laugh invading your corrupt memories, and all you can do is cry about it.

so you cry. you just cry. for him, for yourself, for everyone that lost something when he left.

you cry because you know it’s hopeless. because suguru is a determined man, and he won’t be found if he doesn’t want to be.

“sugu…”

“please recheck your contact info and try again later.

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pls reblog so i can find my old followers again!:(

[whalienjxy]

shit still hurts bro

nanami drabble repost from my old blog<3

also been thinking about waking up with nanami

because we all know that man sleeps. how endearing would it be if you woke up before him and just watch him? with half his face buried in the softness of the pillow, hair no longer tamed and presentable, uncovered bare back just slowly raising and lowering with each breath and hands tucked under the pillow.

one of those days you wake up before him and do your occasional habit of just watching the man rest, except you’ve just woken up from a not very nice dream where you saw him in a way you never wished to see.

there was a lot of blood, half of his body was no longer recognizable. it leaves you choked with tears, doing your best not to wake nanami up after you flinch awake. you were glad the sun is already up so you are able to see him clearly, check his body for any injuries just in case.

you’ve sat up, failing to keep your hands to yourself as you let your fingers sink in his hair. he stirs a bit, but he knows its you, so he doesn’t react further. he just hums out.

but this isn’t enough to comfort you. you keep your tears to yourself, or do your best at least, but you don’t know if you’ll be able to keep up the good work. your fingers slide from his hair so your thumb caresses his cheekbone, chest trembling with heaviness at the loss you never wish to experience.

the thought picks you up and runs away, dragging you with it. it becomes overwhelming, the images flashing repeatedly through your mind, and you try to be quiet as you let some tears go to relieve yourself.

you wish you can keep him here forever. resting, well, calm, right here in your arms where nothing can touch either of you.

shuffling closer helplessly, you lay down and push your head between his arm and the mattress to feel as much of him as possible, but that seems to finally pull nanami out of his slumber.

when he adjusts his arm and rolls on his side so he can hold you properly, you hide your face in his chest, curling yourself at his side while he readjusts the covers to keep you from the chilly air.

“what’s up, sweetheart?” he asks sleepily when you sniffle, arms secure behind your back. you shake your head, not trusting your voice, trying to tell him that its nothing, but he doesn’t buy it. a hand is soon running in your hair, smoothing down the sleepy, messy strands. “was it a nightmare?”

“mhm,” you nod, arms escaping his hold to wrap around his neck, bringing yourself up to his level so you can bury your face in his neck. with a heavy sigh, your tears stop, but nanami has already noticed them. “i’m gonna need you to hold me for a while.”

nanami chuckles, and the sound naturally makes you all warm and fuzzy in his arms.

“don’t worry. i’m not going anywhere.”

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pls reblog so i can find my old followers again!:(

[whalienjxy]

here’s another levi smut until i post 4:02pt 2!! hehe

like a hot dad

content: nsfw, long haired levi, breeding kink, daddy/mommy kink if u squint, dilf levi, post war canon

warnings: +18 content, mild manga spoilers, f!bodied reader.

wc: 1.5k~

tags: @motherfckerrr bc they commented ehe

a/n: i genuinely had no idea where this was going i just kept writing and somehow ended up with being h word for dilf long haired levi and idk how to take it back tysm

also pls reblog if u can!! i’m tryna gain back my old followers from my previous blog due to shadowban, so spreading the word could def help!! tysm either way<3

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do you think levi would grow his hair out post-war?

idk mahn but the vision of him with a short wolf-ish is really getting to me.

i feel like maybe he’d let it grow accidentally. with the healing process for his knee and the rest of his wounds i feel like he wouldn’t really care about his hair, and you’re totally in for it.

it’s a huge change. for years, you’re used to levi’s neat hair and infamous undercut, and you were 100% into it. but now as he finally lets you cut his hair for him instead of doing it himself, you kinda slowly fix it in a wolf cut and let it grow gradually.

you’d come up with excuses every time he asks you to cut his hair.

“i have so much to do around the house today, my love. maybe tomorrow?”

“oh, i’m on my period today. i can barely stand up.”

“oh! i forgot i have to go get stuff from the market! i’ll be meeting gabi and falco, i can’t be late, can i?”

once he gets frustrated with you, the raven silk was already down to his nape. it shaped his face beautifully, and once you caught him with a pair of scissors in the bathroom, your soul left your body.

“WAIT!” you dash to him, holding down the armed left hand. “you’re not left handed! you wanna ruin your hair??”

“shut up,” he rolls his eyes at you. “you’ve been putting me off for months. look how long it’s gotten!” he gestures with a hand to the mirror in front of you two. “i look hideous.”

you slip the scissors from his hands, and levi catches the little sly smile that slips on your face as you squeeze yourself between his body and the sink.

you watch the realization fall on his face while your hands slip in his hair.

“is this what i get for letting my guard down around you?”

“you look beautiful,” you tell him, love struck as you are, never missing the pink dust that rushes to his cheeks “everyone compliments you for it. you still wanna cut it off again?”

“i don’t give a shit about anyone else.” he grumbles and looks down between you both, leaning on his cane. “i don’t look representable.”

“you don’t have to look representable,” your tone lowers in sincerity. a thumb grazes the scar on the right side of his face. “you’re not a captain anymore, my love. you’re free to do whatever your heart pleases.”

he looks up at you, features blank, but you know well how your words are tossing and turning in his brain.

“besides,” your smile returns back to your face, and you pull him a little closer. “you look extremely hot.” a hand trails down to the hem of his shirt, your eyes following the movement, then you return your gaze back up to him. “like a hot dad.”

his eyebrows shoot up, playfulness making an appearance on the previous stoic features. “like a hot dad?”

“mmhm,” you affirm with a mock-nonchalant nod, and you slip away from him jjjuuust when he was about to pull you in. you look at him over your shoulder, mischief pure in your gaze. “i’ll go check on dinner for the guests coming tonight. feel free to join.”

only except that ten minutes later, the kitchen is completely empty and you two didn’t manage to make it past the living room. he was seated on the sofa, head throw back with his fucking hair framing his delicious expression like that, you swear you could cum untouched in your position between his legs as you get to work.

“like a hot dad, huh?” he mumbles, all breathless and shit once you were seated in his lap, his length stretching you perfectly. a hand reaches up to wipe away the remaining of his previous climax on the corner of your lips. you throw your head in the crook of his neck, the pleasure of your hips rolling skillfully against his hitting you bad. “you could’ve just asked, lovely. wanna make me a daddy?”

you manage a shaky nod when he begins to meet your hips halfway.

a hand trails up from your waist to garb your neck, squeezing deliciously as he pulls you away from his neck to take a good look at you. “words, my love.”

“yes,” you nod, eyes closed in bliss. one of your hands grab the wrist of the hand around your neck. “wan’ make y-you a…hhah… daddy.”

“fffuuck…” he groans out when you squeeze around him, letting himself gather enough strength before he throws you off of him and onto the sofa. when your thighs are squeezed together at the painful loss of contact, a palm falls on one of them, leaving a flushed mark in its wake.

“open wide, baby.” he grabs a hold of his cock while he holds the back of your opening thigh to keep the pair apart. the years upon years in the survey corps leave you as flexible as you can be, so when he presses your thigh back, your joints bend easily at his will. pumping himself a few times as he gazes at your glistening folds, another groan breaks out from deep in his chest.

“god, look at you.” he rolls his hips in, and you feel him slip through so pleasurably that you can’t hold back the loud whimper that escapes you.

because damn, how could you not from this view? this is a face of a determined, pussy-drunk man. sweat broke on his forehead, a few strands sticking to the skin while the rest of his hair falls around his face perfectly. you see a ting of pain on his features, and you scatter to try to change your position for a more comfortable one for him, but he is quickly pushing you back down to the couch, a hand falling to your lower abdomen.

the pressure he puts there makes you forget your own name, and it shows on the way your body shivers with bliss. his thrusts increase in velocity, the maddening roll of his hips against yours throwing you in a whole other dimension.

a hand reaches out to grab yours, and through the dizzying pleasure, you realize that levi is pressing your own hand to your abdomen underneath his.

“look how deep inside am i,” he grumbles, leaning down to press a kiss on your bouncing tits. you feel his length stroke in and out of you the more levi puts pressure on your hand. “taking me so well. always so well, baby.”

he takes control of your hand once more, feeling you squeeze familiarly around him, and he pushes your fingers through his hair. you yank on the strands immediately, pulling out a fucking growl out of the man as he leans down until your chests were touching, putting a bit of his body weight on you for support.

you latch onto him like a koala, the burn of your core muscles stretching as he pushes you in a mating press mixes well with your pleasure-high brain. levi kisses, licks, bites down on your neck to leave marks you’ll have trouble hiding later, but you don’t give a shit. you arch your neck more, letting out a long moan when he nips at a certain spot, the bliss turning you mad.

levi is breathless. his puffs of air fan your face when he brings his face on top of yours. a whimper escapes past his lips, his features twisted with pleasure uncontrollably, and you drown in the sounds he makes.

“wann’ make you a mommy too,” he mumbles, open lips landing on the corner of your lips. “wanna…hhah… fill you up. over,” he pauses, delivering an especially harsh thrust that you feel at your cervix. “and over again.”

“levi, i’m so—,”

your body begins to curl into him, eyes closing uncontrollably, and the poor man barely has any chance to ready himself for the way you tighten impossibly around him as you give him your first climax.

your body shivers and quivers, shaking as he overstimulates you chasing after his own pleasure. he leans back up, hands harshly grabbing your lips as he manages to pull you even deeper, and you tightness milk him.

it isn’t the first time he cums inside you, but this one sure hits different. after a few more thrusts that manage to abuse your cervix, levi stills stiffly with a strong groan, and you feel his warmth coat your walls .

he gives you a few more deep strokes as he leans down to kiss you deeply, making sure he fucks all his load deep enough.

his hips still once more, but you keep devouring his lips. weak moans are erupted from both of you as you two calm down gradually, before levi throws sway your attempts of calming down your still-raging arousal when he pulls away, leans up, and slowly pulls out of you.

and he watches the mixture of both your orgasams begin to pool out of you, and you watch as he takes two fingers to push everything back in. you shamelessly roll your hips against bis digits once more.

he looks up at you, fingers still engulfed, snd a smirk takes over his handsome features.

“one more time for good measures?”

[whalienjxy]

sniff i put a lot of emotions in this one

the goodbye i owe you.

setting: canon universe, ending of jjk0

cw: mcd, jjk0 spoilers

wc: 1.3k~

a/n: idk man maybe this is self-insert but I woke up feeling bitter about this today and I'm gonna make people suffer with me. ig i was just tryna cope with his death but it backfired mahn i cri

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the fight just ended, yuta got rid of rika, it's all supposed to be good. you're hazy on your feet, dizzy as you are, trying to find where satoru is to tell him that you need to find suguru. he took a mad hit, you saw, and as much as you resent him now for all of this mess, the little fragile thing in your heart still can't help but ache for him.

satoru hears you approaching before he sees you, and his shoulders slump. he doesn't make any effort to stop you, it was something inevitable.

the confrontation.

unlike satoru, you barely got to interact with getou when he first infiltrated jujutsu high grounds with his new... friends. you caught a glimpse, your eyes met, lingered for a while, but he turned around like he had never even seen you before.

you appear from behind the rubble, satoru doesn't turn around to see you, but he sees how getou's gaze shifts to where you're approaching from. something twists in his face. anguish? pain? satoru doesn't know what's causing it, but it all disappears too fast for him to think too much about it.

say you're a few years younger than the pair, yeah? you were thrown in jujutsu high grounds like it was some orphanage for kids with spiraling cursed energy, so maybe you practically grew up there under the older kids' supervision until you were grown enough to attend there yourself.

and naturally, like any sad abandoned kid with no parental figures, you grew attached, and so did they.

but getou changed too quickly for you to adjust after riko. you could see the steady change, the calm process of it, but the band snaps before you could even prepare yourself for goodbye.

so now, in the twilight of a cursed day, it was your first confrontation since he, too, abandoned you.

and you were dumbfounded. you couldn't speak, couldn't move past satoru, couldn't even take your eyes off of him.

he's so... bloody. his midnight hair is matted and messy, one eye covered in crimson, and you can't even bring yourself to look down at the rest of his body.

"Suguru..." it escaped past your lips, a fragile whisper that just managed to echo around the three of you.

"family reunion?" he chuckles weakly.

the lump in your throat leaves you breathless. it strains your whole body.

you step forwards again, fat tears accumulating in your vision enough to blur it. if you as much as blink, it'll all break, and you're too mad at suguru to let him see you like this.

"you grew up well, y/n," why is he trying to smile? "leaving you with him was risky, but it looks like he didn't do such a bad job after all."

satoru sighs from behind you, and he sees the exact moment you begin to shatter.

he can tell how you look like by the look on suguru's face, how his faint smile is slapped away. he's seen you like this way too many times that he'd like.

and you shatter. you break, because how dare he say this? 'you grew up well'? you can still feel the dagger of betrayal rotting in your back, how dare he... after all this time?

"You never said goodbye," you hate how your voice sounds, hate the feeling of the pearly tears mixing with the blood and filth on your face. you point an angry finger at him. "you left." gritted teeth do nothing in holding back your emotions. "you left. and-and you changed, suguru! it was never meant to roll this way!"

"y/n..." satoru tries to grab a hold of you, but you step out of his reach and closer to the curse eater at your feet, and given your physical state, your harsh tug involuntarily sends you to your knees.

satoru steps away from you. there is no use ins stopping this.

with hands on the rubbly ground to steady yourself, you try to shake the dizziness away, but that only manages to worsens it. when you look up you're closer to getou than you were before, forced to finally take in the rest of his body, and you have to fight the urge to just curl up in his lap and sob it all out.

"It shouldn't be this way," you tell him, shaking your head furiously. a hand raises and falls back down on the ground.

he just stares. he watches you break.

you want him to say something. anything that can give you hope, anything that signifies that your suguru is still there, but your vision is too blurry to see the look on his face as you hiss out the next few words.

"god, i never hated anyone," your angry tears keep coming. your voice is no longer fragile, fueled by the fire igniting within you. "but i hate you so fucking much, suguru."

satoru looks away when something begins to overtake getou's features. watching will only make things harder, and he isn't sure just how much more he can take.

"y/n..."

"I hate you," you repeat, taking your eyes off of him, fighting the turning of your head, but pebbles were suddenly in your hand, and you weakly aim at getou's body, unsure that anything even successfully hit the lost man. "I fucking hate you, getou suguru."

"that's enough," satoru's voice is void of emotion.

he steps between you and getou, blocking your vision of him, and you let yourself go. hell to it with vulnerability, you're not strong enough to deal with this kind of heartbreak.

Satoru crouches down, getting to eye level with the man.

"y/n," he doesn't look away as he calls you. "look away."

getou smiles at him, head tilting just a bit to the side.

"i guess this is the goodbye i owe you, then."

you do as satoru says. you squeeze your eyes shut, turning your head to the side, and your hands give out on you. you put your forehead on the harsh ground, body shaking harshly with every produced sob.

"I hate you," like a mantra. "I hate you."

you hear satoru say something to getou, but the sound of your own voice blocks it out. getou scoffs.

it was only seconds before you hear the sharp sound echo in the air,and you wail. you wail, careless of anyone and anything that might hear, because you didn't want this goodbye.

satoru doesn't move for a few seconds. he eoventually lets his knees touch the ground, letting himself have just this. his eyes helplessly roam over getou's now lifeless body. the realization waves over him slowly.

his heart burns, a fist falling to the material of suguru's torn kimono, and he falls to the side, letting his back rest against the wall beside his best friend.

your smaller figure still trembles when he looks, wails growing more strained and quieter, and he doesn't know who he feels worse for. a hand goes to his hair, tinting it red with filth, and his lips begin to tremble. he grits his teeth in his own attempt of holding back, to remain strong just for you, but he has too much on his plate.

he always fucking does, doesn't he? that can't be fair.

but as you wail, the strong sorcerer's walls are turned to dust. the silent tears begin as he fists getou's kimono. he throws his head back against the wall, fingers yanking mercilessly at the hair in his grip.

he mourns. he allows himself just this, joining his anguish with your own, and satoru mourns the wilted flowers left in his long lost lover's wake.

[whalienjxy]

you lay in the grand finale. crimson paints the ground beneath you as you lay next to your lover, one more vigorous to life than the other.

“guess this is it,” your voice is so calm, it freaks the man out. your hand tighten around his ever so slightly, just enough for him to feel it. “it’s not the… the double suicide you’ve always wanted—“

“n-no,” he’s shaky when he pushes away from the ground. he turns to hover over you, hand tightening around yours, and instead of the orange skies, your vision is overtaken by a chestnut head and a pair of fiery, panicky eyes pouring into yours.

“help is on the way. they’ll get us.” his other hand climbs to your dirty cheek, and you cant help but will your body to lean into his touch. “stay with me until then, baby.”

“‘samu,” you whisper, and dazai’s eyes widen further. you really fucking look like you’re about to hit your eternal hay, and dazai won’t handle seeing it happening right in his arms. “we don’t have time.”

“we do,” osamu pushes, nodding quickly, and your heart breaks at the way the man suddenly hangs on to life.

a hand reaches out to touch his face, and he sees the way your face twists before a tear escapes between your lids.

a loud bang suddenly shakes the ground you lay upon somewhere from your left, and dazai’s first instinct is to cover your body with his. the blast shakes him off balance and he ends up falling in your open arms where he will always fit perfectly, just one last time.

“i’m afraid this is it, my love,” you manage to choke out. you don’t know if he can hear you or not, but you think he did when he stiffles an agonized scream in your shoulder.

“i just need more time,” you hear him through the unavoidable ringing in your ear, and you feel yourself begin to slowly and painfully slip away. “a little longer, y/n. i’m begging you.”

you turn your head to the side, weakly so, pressing your lips one last time to the side of his head.

“i know you wished we’d die together.” your eyes flutter closed. “but i wish you’d live for me.”

[whalienjxy]

5:26pm

Levi feels so silly, sitting under that tree like that. There’s a person laying down beside him as he rests his back against the strong bark, his hand doesn’t know how to stop playing and fiddling with their hair, and once again, he realizes that he can easily feel normal when he is with you, far far away from all the blades and blood and wings of freedom.

Whatever normal is.

Levi feels silly because he just ran away from the castle with you, both of you out of your uniforms, riding your horses right out of the stable with no distention in mind and countless eyes looking for where the pair of you could’ve possibly disappeared to.

It wasn’t his idea, obviously, he actually opposed it with every inch of his mind and body, but it looked like you weren’t taking no for an answer, and Levi came to discover just how stubborn of a person you can be.

Beside the fact that he literally just can’t actually say no to you and everything.

It started with little nagging when you first saw each other in the morning, he knew something was going to go down when he saw that silly little mischievous smile on your face in the morning line when your eyes met.

“Let’s run away today,” You’d told him as you pass by, your smile growing when his eyes sharpened in shock, both of your statement and the fact that you were too close for everyone else not to see your little attempt in trying to talk to the man.

He doesn’t reply. You pass by like you normally intended, joining the rest of your group, and he has to be left alone and interpret what you meant by that.

“What do you think?” you caught him while transferring some merchandise from the carriages outside the castle.

“What the fuck are you on about?” He asks through gritted teeth, stepping closer so you’re the only one that sees him. He takes his eyes off you to look around for any peering eyes, but your giggle only forces him to look back at you.

“Let’s finish this and just get out of here.” You tell him. You also look around, and when you deem it clear, you step even closer, your smile softening with a loud sigh. “I don’t know. I feel giddy today. I want you to myself.”

“I can’t just… up and leave,” Levi’s sentence starts a bit scruffy, but ends soft, matching the look of his eyes. “We’ll meet tonight. I’ll see you on the roof.”

“No.” The look in your eyes worries him. You tilt your chin down just a bit, you smile no longer as soft as it was just seconds ago. “I wanna watch the sunset. i wanna do…stuff. I don’t fucking know either, Levi. But i wanna do this.”

“We have a shit load of things—“

“Levi! What’s taking you so long?” Erwin’s booming voice rings around you two, and suddenly you’re six feet apart again.

Levi looks at you again. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

You shrugged, then, mischief still in tact in your smile as you turn your back to him and continue on with your task.

Later, you picked on the poor man again when you were training. It became a usual sight for the soldiers, seeing the pair of you beat the shit out of each other-or more like you not being able to stay on your feet for as much as you do on your ass- since Levi’s taken it as a personal mission to make you as good of a soldier as you possibly can be upon your own request, so no one was paying the pair of you as you banter through mud and dirt.

You try your best to keep your grin off your face. “Why are you pulling your punches today?”

“You’re too dangerous to piss off right now.”

You try a swing, he ducks. Another, he ducks, and seizes you in his arms so your back is against his front, with his mock blade up to the side of your neck.

“We can’t, y/n.” He says, and his voice is laced with seriousness you haven’t heard all day. You’re both panting, you try to get out of his grip, but he presses the wooden tip a bit firmly to your neck. “Not today. i’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

A quick elbow to the ribs and the back of your head to his nose was all it took for him to let go. It was already time for everyone to hit the showers.

“i’ll see you in your quarters in an hour, captain,” You fix your clothes, watching as he shakes his head to snap away the pain of your head-butt. You point the wooden blade, that’s now somehow in your hand, at him before letting it drop to the floor, right hand raising to your chest for a sharp salute. “I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“y/n…” he tries to call, but you already gave your back to him. he calls again, but the sound of sasha’s laughter covers it up, then you’re out of reach before he knows it.

An hour later, the captain sits in his quarters, fresh out of the shower, already on the roll for some paperwork before the meeting at 6. He tried to avoid looking at the clock every five fucking minutes just to make sure that you’re not crazy enough to actually go on with what you want, but all hope is lost when he hears a sharp knock, and the knob is already twisting open before he guarantees entry.

“y/n.” You’re no longer in your uniform.

“Levi.”

“No.” Is that a fucking dress?

“Yes.”

It was before he even realizes that there is a change of clothes is dropped on his desk. It’s wrapped in a grey cape, one similar to the color he used to have wrapped around him in the underground, matching the one that currently hid your face.

He is almost assaulted into changing out of his uniform, and, once more, before he knows it, he is running into the stable with your hand in his to let out your horses.

You squeak in excitement, your hands balling in little fists, and Levi feels like he’s falling in love with you all over again.

He makes sure you’re seated on your horse well before he climbs on his, and levi really, really can’t believe he is doing this.

The gates were open, a specific request by Captain Levi himself, and you slip right through

His plain cape is fluttering in the air from the second you two take off from the stable. It feels light, feels like he can breathe, it’s fucking incredible how feather light he feels without the weight of the wings of freedom impaling his back.

Riding through the end of the town, Levi can’t help but want to laugh every time he looks at you. You look just as free as he feels.

He follows you, lets you lead the way, lets you take him wherever you want, and the solid ground beneath the hooves of your horses soon turn green as he is lead in a field up a hill.

You let out a laugh, then, loud, hysterical, beautiful. your horse speeds up, going ahead of Levi, and the air pushes the cape out of your face. Your hair is freely dancing in the wind, and you throw your head up.

For those few seconds, something really smacks Levi across the chest. it hurts in the most heartwarming way possible. He can breathe a little deeper with you in his view like this, amongst greenery and trees and the sun rays complimenting the shade of your hair and skin just perfectly.

He feels alive. Levi feels alive for the first time in his entier life.

You pick a tree and slow down to a halt. Levi climbs down first to help you to your feet even though he know you don’t need such thing, but fuck it. He helps you down, pulls you to him, and you giggle when his lips meet yours in a way you will have to bottle up and save for later to think about.

They could die tomorrow. Hell, any second now, a titan can breach the walls and doom all humanity. Is Levi really ready to leave before he feels like this?

As selfless as he is, when it comes to you, Levi is a greedy man. He realizes so just now, relishing in the sound of your steady breathes as you nap under a tree on a random day, stranded away from everyone and everything.

“y/n.”

“i’m awake.” you mumble sleepily.

“you don’t sound awake.”

“shhh…”

“you’re missing the sunset.”

Your eyes snap open, and Levi has to hold himself back from chuckling at the way your body snaps up. Wide eyes soften when you see that you didn’t miss anything, and levi was, in fact, bluffing, but the sky was already turning orange. You nudge Levi and relax back beside him.

You watch the sunset, then. It’s silent beside the tweet-tweets of birds returning back home. The sky oh-so magically turns orange and pink and purple, and right when the sun is at the horizon, the silence is broken by soft sniffles.

Levi looks beside him, and he immediately finds the source.

All red-nosed and teary-cheeked, you stare at the scenery in front of you, biting your lower lip to keep all the other noises internal.

Levi’s brain short-circuits here. What the fuck does one do in situations like this?

You keep silently crying, trying your hardest not to reach Levi so you wouldn’t make him uncomfortable with your touch, unbeknownst to what your touch actually does to the affection-starved man.

“Look,” you point at the dying sun, trying to get his attention off of you. “You’re missing the best part.”

“I’m not,” Levi tells you with no hesitation, but he just keeps staring, confused, internally panicking because you’re fucking crying and he doesn’t know what to do about it, neither does he know why.

so, he bluntly begins there.

“Why are you crying?” He keeps his voice as soft as it can be.

you look at him, eyes full to the brim, rosy-tear-stained cheeks, and you still manage to look as magical as a sunset is to someone who lived more than half his life in the underground.

“i don’t know,” you wipe under your eyes, looking away again, looking down as if in shame. “i don’t know. this is pathetic.”

levi’s hand shoots out before he can control it, seizing the hand on your face in his to pull it away. “it’s not pathetic.”

he doesn’t let go of your hand, and thats where your gaze goes next.

but his other hand is suddenly cupping your cheeks, thumb wiping under your eye, and you feel more tears bubble over.

“why would your tears be pathetic?” he asks, and he sounds like he is genuinely asking. you swallow the lump in your throat, unable to say or do anything in his hold.

“i just…” you trail off, sounding too wobbly for your captain to understand. you close your eyes, taking a couple of deep breathes before you open your eyes again. “I never thought i’d get to live through something like this.”

oh.

“it’s a bit overwhelming.” you turn your head to at the purple skies. “all of this,” your gaze settles on him once more. “you. i really hope i’m not dreaming. that one would hurt like a bitch.”

ok, now its worse and levi has no fucking idea what to do, but his body looks like it does.

because he doesn’t hesitate to kiss you. he doesn’t hesitate to pull you on his lap to feel as much of you as possible, and he doesn’t hesitate when he allow his tongue to dance with yours.

he doesn’t know what to say, but he hopes that he is relying the message just fine. he feels like he is doing a good job because you drop your forehead to the crook of his neck once you are apart, and you’re not crying anymore.

the silence stretches, now both of you believing that this is a very real thing that is happening, and it simultaneously fills the pair of you with both absolute euphoria and crippling fear.

because what if this is the only time you will be able to experience this? you both grow greedier and greedier, and the world is cruel enough to allow your fresh-born fantasies to die down instantly.

“we…” levi begins, a hand gently massaging the back of your neck. “we’ll come back here often.”

it wasn’t a question, wasn’t a suggestion, levi was throwing it in as a firm fact.

you look at him, silent. somehow, you both know what exactly is going on in your heads.

“we will. we’ll come back often. together.”

[whalienjxy]

beep. beep. beep.

every time you gained consciousness, that’s the only thing you heard. the constant, agonizing, high pitched sound of the machine somewhere beside you, the only thing proving that you were still hanging on to life.

you thought that was it. you thought that was how you were gonna go, inevitably crushed by a cursed spirit that proved how weak of a sorcerer you were, but you guess those beeps only mean that you’re not as inferior as you thought you were.

maybe a part of you was wishing that this would’ve been it, something to put an end to the endless fight you and the rest of jujutsu sorcerers have.

you felt something cold against your cheek a few minutes ago. someone’s hand. it shook you off unconsciousness, but it took you some handful minutes to finally open your eyes.

you don’t know how long you’ve been asleep for, but it’s dark. the room is only lit up by a couple of distant spots, and it’s raining outside. you cant hear the tears from the sky hit the windows somewhere to your left, and that naturally catches your attention.

your look to the side, the slight strain in your neck making you moan just a bit.

someone is standing there, you see their silhouette. a tall, broad figure standing by the big window, hands in their pockets, and when their face gravitates in your direction at the sound you produce, you see it.

the tall hair, falling down to the center of his back and a high half- bun. you’re not so sure about being alive, now.

because if you were, he wouldn’t be here.

it’s been years. years since you last saw him, since he left. he wouldn’t come find you after all those years. you were convinced.

he whispers your name, and he sounds like him. low, gentle, a bit gruff, it’s your suguru.

in the time that you slowly blink, he is by your side. getou leans down to get a good look at you, and god, isn’t he beautiful?

you always thought so. you would openly stare at him, back then, and he would stare right back at you from across the table with that sweet smile of his. you would let your eyes break down his every feature, painting another replica in your head for times you weren’t aware would come sooner than you’d like.

cold hands are on your face again. you see an agonized gaze on a face you so miserably missed, and all you can do is lay there and stare up at him.

“i knew you would make it,” you can’t believe you can hear his voice again. you thought you lost that luxury long ago. “well done, my darling.”

“suguru,” your voice barely makes it past your lips, but it reaches him.

you know it did when he frowns that sad fucking frown of his. you will your hand to reach his, but your grip isn’t strong enough to hold onto his hand. the skin of your palm barely brushes agains his knuckles, and before it falls to the pillow beside your head, long fingers catch yours.

your eyes can barely stay open at this point, but he brings your hand to his own cheek. he leans into your touch like a starved man, and you can physically feel your heart shattering in your chest.

he turns his head to plant a kiss on the inside of your palm.

“i’ll make them pay.” he says in your hand. “i’ll make those monkeys pay.”

your eyes fall closed. you will yourself to stay up, to savor a reunion after so long, but your body refuses to stay awake.

“i wish you were real,” you find yourself whispering before you slip back into unconsciousness.

but he was real. he stayed with you every other night until you gained back your consciousness and sneaked behind everyone’s backs like a little kid. watched as your chest went up, down, up, and even memorized the pattern of your heartbeats just to notice if anything changes.

and he will make them pay. he will make them all pay.

[whalienjxy]

here’s the new masterlist!!

~ACKERMONIE MASTERLIST~

jujutsu kaisen

attack on titan

bungou stray dogs

haikyuu!! (soon)

[whalienjxy]

2:19 am.

(repost)

Levi kisses your shoulder.

“I love you.”

Your collarbone.

“I love you.”

Your throat.

“I love you.”

Coming up to face you again, your hand immediately reaches for his cheek. He leans down, kisses every teary pearl on your face away, but they only keep coming. He kisses your eyes, kisses under them, feeling your tears soak his trembling lips.

“We’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna be fine.” It seems like he’s trying to reassure himself along with you, and it also seems like he’s doing a poor job of keeping his own tears in check. There is a lump in his throat, his eyes sting bad, he’s afraid he’ll crack at any given moment. “I trust you, baby. I trust you. We’ll make it out just fine.”

The pair of you were supposed to be sound asleep, preserving every possible ounce of energy for the attack on Marley beginning in only a few hours, but sleep remains a stranger to the Survey Corps on nights before their inevitable march to their possible death.

Eyes open or closed, every cadet, every soldier, everyone that carries the burden of the wings of freedom on their backs lay awake in their beds. Some stay unmoving, some whisper with their roommates, some are stuck in their own heads, and some decide to love each other like it’s the last time.

Because maybe it is.

You can’t remember who started it, but you and Levi usually get clingier as expeditions near, and you find yourselves huddled in a mess of pillows and sheets and blankets not so long after your arrival to your shared quarters for the night.

It started steamy, harsh, hungry, but true emotions eventually surface, and neither of you is able to let go of the other. You begin to tear up when reality finally hits, seeing the silver band on his ring finger twinkle in the dim light of the room that copies your own, and you break when he begins to speak.

“We’ll be fine.” He’d said then , voice clear and soothing.

“I’ll follow you wherever you go,” He says now, eyes glossy, voice strangled.

When you pull him to wrap your arms around his neck, your mind is too conflicted between the complete opposition of emotions rushing through your head, running back and forth between pleasure and grief of what to be lost in a few hours. You can’t help the noise you make as tears continue to flow freely while he gives you his all, fucking every emotion he feels right into you.

“I can’t exist without you anyways, can I?” He mumbles in your neck, making sure you hear him over your own noises before he bends up to take a good look at you, to make sure your image is burned in his memory like a stamp, branding his very being as your own.

Teary, flushed face, hair a mess on the sheets, mouth open wide with uncontrollable pleasure, he doesn’t think you ever looked as vulnerable as you look right now. Your droopy eyes pour into his own, neither able to look away, neither able to feel anything but the other.

“Walls, you’re the best fucking thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

You’re close. The invisible string keeps tightening and tightening for the walls-only-know time, and your overstimulation is melting your agonized pain away. Levi notices by the way you tighten around him again, the way a hand flies to your hair, the other reaching desperately out to him, and he’d rather stop breathing than not reach back to you.

He is bending back down to hold you through your orgasam when you finally let go, you twitch and squirm in his arms, his name the only thing on your tongue.

“Levi!” You whimper.

“Levi…” You whine.

“Luh-Le’vi.” You sob.

Levi kisses every available patch of skin his lips can find, sweet nothing tumbling out of his lips. He fucks you through your orgasam, chasing his own with the sticky reminder on your stomach burning through him; that he should pull out soon.

You become incredibly tight around him that he feels the air getting knocked out of his lungs even more. With one last kiss to your cheek, he begins to lean back up, ready to pull out and let go, but he finds himself locked in place.

You hold him with all your might, frightened eyes locking with yours when he raises his head.

“It’s okay,” You tell him, his hips faltering. “Please. I need you. I need you.”

Levi’s head swims, he does his best to slow down his movements. His eyes look within yours for an answer to his unspoken questions.

“What?” He can’t help but let out.

“Just this once,” Your eyes well up once more. “I want to feel you just this once.”

His own overstimulation seems to get the best of him because this was his breaking point. Levi can no longer suppress his emotions, but he does his best to hide his face away from his lover.

He kisses you hard this time. A hand cages you to the bed while the other caresses your soaked cheek, and you sob when he starts to move again. You arch your back, doing your best to meet his every need as you both cry in each other’s arms, with another inevitable build tickling the back of your brain.

The overflowing emotions delay his release just enough for the pair of you to let go together, bodies pressed so close that they almost mold into one. Whimpers and moans of each other’s names echo in the empty quarters, exhausted bodies relaxing as you feel your walls painted warm with his release.

Levi can’t hold himself up anymore. The pair of you are overstimulated to the brim, crying and crying and crying over everything that you can’t control, and you feel your heart melt at your bond as it gains even more strength with each and every silent or audible sob.

Minutes later, after you both managed to calm down just enough to be able to function again, Levi raises his head from your chest, bloodshot eyes a mirror of your own.

A shaky hand creeps to your cheek. He tries again.“We’ll be fine.”

“I love you,” You whisper, eyes closing to lean in his touch.

And it’s cruel that this is your way of saying goodbye, untrusting of the world to let you be in each other’s arms one more time.

[whalienjxy]

9:10pm.

(repost)

ib: love like you by caleb hyles

The oil candle burns. Its illumination warms the cold hues of his office as Levi works on yet another pile of paperwork, except he’s becoming actively more distracted as the seconds go since his door opened and closed silently, and a body laid down on the leather couch to his left a few minutes ago.

He didn’t bother to look up at the intruder, then, knowing exactly who would dare to just come in like that, the familiarity of the action implanting itself as a daily habit in his brain.

Except that usually he just keeps on working, focusing on the task at hand so he could quickly finish and eventually follow up with his nightly routine with you, but today seems like it won’t allow that to happen. He can hear your light breathing, can see you from the corner of his eye, and he has to physically restrain himself from looking your way as he knows that all hope will be lost to his paperwork if he does.

It’s been a rather difficult day for the pair of you. With the preparations for an upcoming expedition getting more and more draining, everyone’s nerves start to naturally get worse. People are getting angrier at each other, you can see the cadets’ profound fear right through their eyes, and some people start spitting shit without knowing who’s listening.

And apparently, even Levi Ackerman isn’t immune to what people can say behind his back.

He knows who he is. He knows he can be perceived as cruel, stoic, inconsiderate, all sorta shitty stuff, he’s aware of it all and learned how to live it long ago without letting it bother him in the slightest. He can be called a cold-blooded killer right in his damn face and he’d agree, but when someone else is put in the narrative, and when that someone is you, it apparently changes everything.

He was unbothered at first, used to the banter thrown at him left and right, but he made the mistake of thinking about it, and his comrades could visibly see his irritation get worse throughout the day.

And they already deal with the grumpy man on the daily, it wasn't really that big of a change, except everyone started to slowly realize that he isn’t reacting like he usually does when they pick on him.

And to top everything off, you weren’t near the whole day.

He doesn’t know who was talking. Doesn’t know their names if he wanted to punish them or file for demotion, but he thinks that it barely even matters. He probably wouldn’t do anything if he could just because he thinks that maybe, maybe what they said is true.

“I don’t know how they ended up together, to be honest!” One of them had said. “They’re polar opposites! I don't know how the Sergeant handles him.”

“He ssoooo doesn’t deserve her. She’s way too nice to be stuck with someone like him.”

“What does she even see in him? He may be pretty in the face but he’s such an asshole, dude!”

“I bet he doesn’t even treat her right. How can someone like him even love?”

He didn’t need to hear that. He already had his doubts, he didn’t fucking need to hear that.

For real, how did you even come to like him back? How does anyone fall in love with someone like him? Yet here you are, sleeping on his couch, waiting for him to finish work because you can’t fall asleep unless you’re touching him.

Yet you wake up every day and look at him with that smile on your face, like he deserves everything good in this world.

He can’t help it, the constant feeling of never being enough. You’re like the sun, too bright and too warm to be contained, a gold shine forever painting the surface of your skin that he wishes he can kiss forever, just to make sure you were actually real.

You’re warm, considerate, kind, everything he’s not, his polar opposite, yet here you are.

How is this possible?

Levi loses his fight with his body and finally gazes at you.

You have an arm under your head, laying on your side to face him, eyes lightly shut. Your uniform still hugs your body, hair a neat mess on top of your head, and you make sure to keep your boots off the couch like Levi always tells you.

God, what would he do if you left? If you just realize how shitty he is and decide you don’t want anything to do with him anymore?

“You’re staring.” Your soft voice slightly startles the saddened man, his eyes widen a bit, but you keep yours closed. “Are you done with your paperwork?”

“No, not yet.”

You flutter your eyes open. “A break, then?”

Levi hesitates. He wants to touch you, wants to keep you as close to him as possible, yet feels undeserving even of that.

He doesn’t reply. His eyes do their little zoning out thing that you take notice of, and you can see what Hange was telling you of him just before you pass by. His jaw is set too firm, Adam's apple moving harshly against his delicate skin, and his eyebrows are furrowed. You don't even think that he is aware of his frown.

He only snaps back to reality when you start moving off the couch and closer to him. Something flashes in his eyes, you think you are mistaken when you take it for panic because it is wiped away from his expression as quickly as it appears.

Levi’s heart is surely going to burst out of his chest if it continues on like this. It gets even worse when your hand touches his, and you can’t help but notice when his chest trembles as he tries to regulate a healthy rhythm, and it only fuels your worry more.

You climb on his lap, his hands immediately finding your back, while yours roam from his trembling, toned chest to tense shoulders that only seem to relax under your touch.

You smile at him. You’re always smiling at him.

“Do you wanna talk to me about anything?” You ask in the softest voice you can.

Levi’s brain seems to high-wire because, once again, he fails to reply. His confused frown turns sad, turns desperate only little by little, and his arms tighten around you like you can disappear right then and there, turn into fine dust and leave him strangled with only bittersweet memories.

His usually straight lips are curved the slightest of curves downwards, and his gaze seems unable to look anywhere but your eyes.

Levi isn’t great with words, you’ve known so for so long already, so when he stays quiet, your hand finds a cold cheek. He leans in your touch, even though you can see that he tries to restrain himself from doing so, and the look on his face just breaks your heart.

Your smile fades, expression morphing into sad worry.

“What’s wrong, my love?”

My love. Your nickname to him will forever have him feeling as if he’s hearing it for the first time.

You think it’s the expedition, just like it is for all of you. He usually gets cranky before expeditions, giving you all those instructions here and there, pulling you away for some extra training even, but this is new.

The more he trains you the less worried he is about you in expeditions as you slowly but surely become another version of him minust all the extra crack, but the worry you see in his expression right now isn’t the kind of worry you’re used to before marching to your death.

Maybe something happened, something shifted, made his anxiety skyrocket, but you’ll never know unless he tells you.

Even as you hold each other like this, he doesn’t think he is loving you enough. He thinks you deserve the world, the sun, the stars, everything that shines just the way you do, everything that he is not.

You’re so good. Your love for him is way more than he deserves.

Levi shuts his eyes before they can get teary, and you’re immediately pulling him in your embrace. With a hand in his hair and the other going up and down his back soothingly, you hold him as he should be held, with all the love and care you can provide.

His arms tighten around you so much that you hear a vertebrae or two cracking, but you never let out your discomfort. You massage his scalp as he nuzzles your neck, and his breath is still shaky.

You’ve barely ever seen Levi like this.

“I’m here,” You gently tell him. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m so sorry.” His muffled words barely make it to your ear.

“What are you apologizing for?” You whisper softly, lips brushing against the top of his ear. “There’s nothing to apologize about, my love.”

There is. He thinks. There are plenty.

“Can I touch you?” His voice is small, yet dark and husky.

It warms your heart that he still always asks for that when he’s feeling down, to touch you, to feel your skin against his. It grounds him, he’s told you. Makes you feel more real.

You nod against his head and pull back to help him unbutton the shirt that lies underneath the green coat. He pulls it out of your pants, unties the binder tied tightly around your chest, and just pulls you back into your previous position again.

His lips lightly graze the skin of his neck, you fight the urge to pull away from the ticklish spot, but you’re soon distracted by the hands that roam your upper body. His touch is intimate, as if he is massaging.

Fingers trail from your stomach, to your waist, then up your back until he lovingly presses you to him by your nape with a firmer grip.

You let him do everything he pleases, letting your own eyes close as you rest your temple on the side of his head, fingers forever sinking in the raven hair. He plants a light kiss to where your shoulder meets your neck.

“You’re too good.” You hear him muffle. The feather-light touch of his fingers running down your middle soon turns into his whole hand. It trails down from your neck, between your breasts, down your diaphragm and onto your side until he settles right before your belt, and his touch turns firmer here. “Always too good for me.”

You pull away just enough to look him in the eye. Your hand returns to his cheek, and this time, you find dazed steel staring back at you, as if drunk on your touch.

What the hell could’ve happened to have him end up like this?

You pull him in for a chaste kiss, but the hand on your nape brings you closer, grip filled with need and something else, something you can’t tell, something that seems to be bubbling over him. You're pressed flush against him, bodies soon molding into one, and maybe Levi forgets his strength when he holds you like this because you’re almost out of breath.

You take matters in your own hands, then, bringing your hands up to his shoulders and you begin to massage, earning a breathy moan from the man underneath you. His grip loosens on your nape when you massage a knot away in his, and you’re given your chance to breathe when he soon relaxes enough.

You rest your forehead against his, panting slightly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Your very soul could shatter at the look in his eyes, then. Because he looks up, eyes ever so glossy and oh so damn sad, desperate, scared you dare say. He tries to whisper something but it comes out incoherent, and you don’t ask him to repeat it when he doesn’t. A calloused hand falls from your nape to hold your cheek, mirroring your very position, and he pulls you in again.

It is gentler this time, slower. Your hands still massage every possible tight muscle you find, deliciously swallowing the pretty sounds he produces from the sensation.

Something clicks, then.

You pull back, his hands still roam your upper body. Levi’s lips try to chase after yours but they attach to the corner of his lips instead, to his cheek, down to line his jaw, and down to his neck. You move slow, make every kiss count, make sure that he feels your intention, make sure he feels loved.

That’s a difficult task, Levi never had anyone that makes him feel this way until you came along, and the unfamiliarity of the feeling always sends him close to tears.

There’s nothing lustful laying behind either your intentions. You kiss his scarred skin like it’s the last thing you can give him. You unbutton the first few buttons of his shirt and let your hand feel the toned muscles of his chest as you kiss away the pain, feeling his adam’s apple struggle where your lips land.

A hand slips in his hair, he tilts his head back.

“I love you so much,” You tell him, your lips brushing his skin. “So, so much, Levi. I can barely verbalise it.” Your head raises to hover above his, your free hand gently caressing where his skin is still wet with your kisses. The hand in his hair brushes it out of his face so you can take a clearer look, and it’s fucked up how you feel your own eyes water. “You’ll never know how much you really mean to me.”

“I don’t deserve this.”

“You deserve the world,” You reply instantly, teary eyes pouring emotions into his. “Walls, you deserve everything good this universe has to offer, Levi.”

The words tick him off. He tries to hide his face, tries to look away from you as he finally begins to break, but your hold is firm when you hold him still.

“I could write endless poems about every little quirk you have. About the color of your eyes. About every scar I've traced on your body, all the way down to the way you hold your damn ridiculous tea cups. I love you so much, Levi, I can barely contain it.”

A silent tear escapes the corner of his eye, and you never hesitate to kiss it as it lands down to his cheekbone. You linger there, feeling rough hands softly trace the line between your shoulder blades. You don’t notice that your own tears have been released until his thumb wipes under your eye, returning the favor.

“I wish I could love like you,” He whispers.

“Your love is already more than enough.”

[whalienjxy]

im coming here again with some more soft-ish gojo

i feel like satoru wouldn’t be the self-conscious in a relationship. i feel like he’d completely trust you, because if he didn’t, he really wouldn’t just risk it all and be with you this way.

you’d trust him too. it would obviously take time, given his infamous reputation, but you would.

so gojo isn’t really bothered at first when you start to be a little more closed off than usual with him. be it when you just simply smile after he kisses you, or when he tries to start a conversation and your replies would just be a bunch of ‘ah’s and ‘mhm’s, if ther are any at all, but the consistency of it begins to get on his nerves.

you barely saw one another throughout that week. he’s busy, you’re busy, you only get to see eachother at nighttime and occasionally he’d get a glimpse of you in the morning before you leave for the day, despite that he always has been first to get out of bed while you sulk behind.

his petty ass starts to give you back the same attitude a a couple of days afterwards, and it pissed him off further when it looked like you didn’t even notice.

the cycle continues for a few more days, and satoru gets even more petty as the seconds go on because why the fuck are you treating him like that for no reason?? it’s not like you to keep shit bottled up without communication if he fucks something up, so he gets to be pissed all he wants.

what he doesn’t notice tho, is your fucked up sleep cycle, or lack thereof. he doesn’t spend the days with you to notice just how little your food intake is, and he only notices the dark circles under your eyes when it was too late.

you were leaning on the bathroom counter when he walks in. your eyes are squeezed shut, and gojo wasn’t aware someone can look so pale.

he freezes at the door frame for a few seconds, watching as you shake your head and bend down to splash some cold water on your face, but your hand slips.

you didnt even get the chance to get close to the tiled floor. a hand is secure around your waist while the other pushes at your chest until your back was flush against a solid figure, and you don’t understand why fight suddenly left your body as you turned into putty in gojo’s hands.

“satoru,” you try to call.

he slips a hand under your knees and slips you up bridal style, your head falling to his chest limply. there was a second of wooshing air before you feel the softness of your mattress underneath you.

“stupid, stupid,” gojo mumbles to himself. a hand slips to your face, and he delivers little tap-taps to your cheek. “hey, sweets. open your eyes up for me, huh?”

“i just…” you attempt a grab at his forearm. “give me a few seconds.”

“okay, okay, yeah.” satoru gives your body a do-over in a spiral of uncharacteristic panic. you’re not visibly hurt anywhere except for the light bruises on your calf, but that doesn’t calm down his nerves. “better be only a few seconds before i call shoko right fucking now.”

“don’t call anyone,” your eyes are still closed when you grab a clutch of the material of bis shirt. your voice is breathy yet choked. “i’m gonna be fine. just—“

he teleports away before you can finish your sentence, and your hand is suddenly grasping on air. you sigh out, letting your forearm fall to your forehead instead as you try to regulate your breathing, but you feel another woosh of air before a voice is booming in the room.

Gojo dumps the plastic wraps in his hand by your side and puts the glass of water he got on the nightstand.

“i got you sugar. you look like you need sugar. you look like you need plenty, actually.” he rambles and you feel yourself being pulled in a sitting position where your head perfectly falls to the crook of his neck.

right then, you both feel the world go silent.

you haven’t been in each other’s arms in some time. satoru is dumbfounded as he looks down at your face from his position, and he sees that your eyes are no longer squeezed shut. the peace on your features calms him down just a bit, and he has no other choice but to let go of the candy wrappers and wrap his arms around you.

“i’m just overworked.” you whisper a bit too weakly for gojo’s liking. he rests his cheek on the top of your head. “i’m fine.”

“you’re not fine,” he mumbles, shifting his position so he can be even closer to you. “you barely have any color in your cheeks.” he looks down at you when he feels your head shift, only to find a very fucking exhausted gaze looking up at him.

and he’s stupid. he’s fucking stupid for acting petty without communicating the way you always ask him to do. you are feather light in his arms, as a consequence, the way your cheeks are hollow make him loosen his grip on you because you do be looking very breakable.

“i’m sorry it took me so long to notice,” he tells you, and you can’t help yourself when a hand slips to his nape, and you pull yourself up enough to plant a kiss to his cheek. “i’m dumb. i thought you were mad at me.”

“i would’ve told you, ‘toru,” you tug him down to the mattress with you. instead of the other way around, the over-grown sorcerer’s head lands on your chest as you slip a hand in his hair. “let’s just nap a bit more before we head out, mhm?”

“head out? your ass isn’t leaving this damn bed until i put some fucking food in you.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

more?

[whalienjxy]

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൭˙ ˖ J. SHE/HER. ND. 20s. aquarius sun, gemini moon, aries rising. was @whalienjxy

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