welcome-to-the-cesspool

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

I want no pity, but I, fool, out of morid curiosity, decided to find the context of this fucking thing.

God is dead. Someone save us.

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

As he has the body of a human, Conquest is without question the shortest of the Horsemen. By almost three feet. He's also the youngest. Strife likes to give him head pats and hair ruffles, much to the Golden King's visible confusion.

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

What would these two think of each other?

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

Unofficial OC addon:

If you at all call Famine "cute", she instantly has to resist the urge to both squeal and cry. Calling Plague "Doc" would absolutely make him swell with pride and make any day infinitely better. Don't call Conquest "King". He will freeze for a few seconds, turn to look at you with the most hateful glare imaginable, before smoothly storming away. There is little else the youngest of the Horsemen hates more than the idea of him being a king.

Imagine calling the Horsemen terms of endearment and watching them melt because nobody has ever given them nicknames that mean anything good before.

For Death, hearing you call him 'Dear,' for the first time in casual conversation nearly makes him choke on his non-existent spit.

You aren't paying attention when you see War one evening and blithely call out, "Hey, Handsome," and the largest Horseman immediately has to leave the room before you catch the flush creeping up into his ears.

You hit Strife with a 'Morning, Cowboy,' or 'Hey, Treasure,' and he turns to mush.

Fury gets called 'Champ,' once and it fluffs her ego so much she does everything she can to try and get you to call her that again, all the while pretending she hates it. Call her 'Tiger' and she practically purrs.

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

I think I'll tack on my OC's Horses because why not- Desolation. Much like her own ravenous rider, Desolation is always completely famished, and she will eat anything that can be eaten. DO NOT try to hand-feed her; she WILL accidently take your hand off.

Torment. Steed of Plague. By far the most mortifying for anyone that isn't a Horsemen to feed. Worms, maggots, carrion, mold- if it's rotten, rich in sickness, or generally somewhat gross, he'll happily eat it. Glory is...not like the rest. The Golden Horse doesn't eat anything, even when offered. It doesn't acknowledge the attempt either. Honestly, it's like it isn't aware of it's surroundings. You might think that, with how fast it is when moving, it would munch on something. But it doesn't. It never does. It just stands there, still as ice, waiting, almost machine-like. In a way; that's correct. Glory isn't like the rest, not just in the affinity (or lack thereof) food, but that it doesn't hail from the Horsemaster's realm. It's a construct, not like one of the Maker's, but an extension of it's master's will. An armless hand controlled by a different body. When it's legendary rider has no requirement for his steed, Glory vanishes into golden mist with a gesture, and it's essence reabsorbed until it's young, golden master has need of it again.

Woe upon thee, a thought has occured in my mind.

Which of horseman's horses wouldn't even touch a sugar cube and which would eat a rubber boot filled with gasoline?

Rampage is as fussy as his rider, and though he doesn't need to eat, he wouldn't graze on anything that didn't come directly from the purest plains of the Horsemaster's realm.

Ruin and Despair are less bothered. Ruin wouldn't eat anything proffered to him by hand, he's too proud, but if you leave a sugar cube on the ground nearby, he'll scoop it up as fast as he can to avoid being spotted.

Despair will take most anything out of your hand so long as it's vaguely edible. He's a proud horse, but he isn't so proud that he'll refuse a polo mint if it's offered. Besides, he likes to make you happy.

Mayhem. Oh Mayhem. If it fits in his mouth, he'll usually try to munch on it. Doesn't matter what it is. Grass. Gloves. A hat. Your hoodie strings. Strife's finger. He's a curious horse, and wants to sample everything just in case it's edible. You've had to rescue several pieces of paper from his mouth when he got hold of your notebook once.

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

I've been replaying Darksiders 2 and just thought of something. At the end of the game, Death sacrifices the souls of the Nephilim to bring back ALL of Humanity. If the Well of Souls converted the Nephilim to human souls, 1:1, then that means, bare minimum (since the series started in 2010) that the Horseman had to kill 6.97 BILLION NEPHILIM. AND THEY DID IT. JUST THE FOUR OF THEM. 1 TO 1.7 BILLION. Yes, I know they're literally the Four Horsemen, BUT HOLY SHIT-

Also, with taking the above into consideration, WHAT UNHOLY MAGIC IS THAT AMULET MADE OF? AND WHY DID IT BREAK ON THE FUCKING FLOOR?

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

From twitter to tumblr, and permission from the artist: I bring greetings Nuzivj fans.

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

Meme game time!

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

Horus: Magnus won’t come out of his room.

Leman: Just tell him I said something.

Horus: Like what?

Leman: Anything factually incorrect.

Magnus, appearing moments later: I’m sorry, did you just say that the sun is a fucking planet-

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

Blood Angels

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

Malcador: Today I realised I'm old.

Valdor: What happened?

Malcador: I fell in the Throne room and instead of laughing, the Emperor came running to see if I was ok.

Valdor:...

Malcador: I saw fear in his eyes.

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

War: "What is the reason for this, brother?" Conquest: "Strife wished for an additional animal companion, as he was envious of Death for possesing Dust's company." *Everyone looks at Strife*

Death: Careful now. You'll hurt Mayhem's feelings. Strife: [Incoherant flustered spluttering] Fury: Wait, Conquest, what did you do? Conquest: I obliged on the condition I grant the rest of you your own companion to avoid future conflict reguarding such an impulsive desire. Everyone: ... Conquest: You are allowed to state your disatisfaction after the fact. Fury: [quietly] Strife, if something like this happens again, I will personally strangle you.

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

Here’s a thought.

Child makers.

Twins Alya and Valus following Eideard around and holding his hands tightly.

Berrarris shyly hiding behind The Keeper when meeting someone new.

Karn trying to lift a hammer for the first time and falling over.

Little Muria growing her first flower with magic and clapping her hands excitedly.

Ulthane and Thane scrapping all the time until one of the elders comes along to lift them off each other.

Valus being bullied and Alya standing up for him, then she comes home sporting a black eye but a broad smile.

Karn sneaking off to adventure but being caught by Thane who hauls him back to the forge.

Muria making friends with old constructs and collecting herbs that grow between their joints.

Berrarris losing his creators and The Keeper is the only one willing to take him in.

Just… just young makers being kids, man.

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

If you have Deathinitive go and find the Goldbringer scythes. Thank me later. Turn sound on.  _

[welcome-to-the-cesspool]

My ass has no idea what I'm doing but my brain is holding me at gunpoint to ramble about my OC's reacting to The Four's pet human. Imagine_Darksiders, I both blame and thank you for this.

Plauge: Totally cool with it. Finds it strangely but amusingly ironic that beings as old as the Horsemen could build such a relationship with a Human. The Human is at first wary of Plauge because...reasons, but quickly becomes bros. Plague is unoffically the human's wingman.

Famine: Just happy for her silbings. The Human comes down with a case of t h e f e e l s because Famine is as gaunt as Death, minus all The Reaper's strength. Still, overall, they do be vibing.

Life: Happy for the Horsemen (especally Death) and feels this will be a good way for them to branch out and relate more to "the common folk" of Creation. (That, and the fact Death can come out of his shell around one more person is a massive win in her book)

Conquest: Litterally couldn't care less if he tried...Is what everyone thinks anyway. He took one look at the human, just sorta nodded, and moved on. Strangely, the human noticed they had an Exlir of Longevity in their pocket after the fact, and a note, writen in beautfully smooth font: "Senectus excusatio non est."

P.S: I'm trying to 100% DS2's Nightmare Mode and it's whooping my ass.