weincorrectfew

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James, on the phone: Hello?

Roger: I can’t take the trash out today, I'm picking something up from Viv's.

James: You're calling from the phone in the kitchen. In fact, I can see you.

Roger, edging sideways: Okay, can you see me now?

James: No.

Roger: Now I am at Viv's.

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Are you still running the blog? If you need submissions I’d be happy to send some

Yes, we are! One of our mods (the one that was running the blog alone before) was unable to run it for a while for personal reasons, but we’re a team of three now and ready to start posting again. Sorry for the break.

And we’re always open to submissions! Thanks for the ask and the offer!

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Uncle Jack: My criminal record? The only illegal thing I’ve done is absolutely KILLING IT on the dance floor!

Uncle Jack: Ha! Just kidding, I’ve killed men.

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Arthur: Excuse me, who’s in charge here?

Bobby: Usually, that’s whoever yells the loudest.

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Verloc: I hope my doctors treated you well?

Gemma: Oh yeah, I love being kidnapped and drugged.

Verloc: Oh. Good! That was my idea.

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Sally: Are you nervous?

Arthur: Am I nervous? I’ve been nervous for 30 years.

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White Bobby: Look, you’re obviously upset about losing Sally, so I came over to help you out.

Verloc: I’m not upset.

White Bobby: I found you in the park throwing rocks at couples.

Verloc: WHY SHOULD THEY BE HAPPY?!

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Wellie: Hey! What are you doing in here?

Arthur, nervously: Oh, nothing. Just stealing your stuff.

Wellie: What?! I want you out! I want you out of this house right now!

Arthur: Woah, woah, woah--

Wellie: Foggy Jack? Better person than you!

Arthur: See, now I don't think you're being fair! I mean, one night, you see me and you get scared! What about all of those other nights when you DIDN'T see me robbing you, huh? What about last night, when you heard a noise and I was nice enough to hide behind the door? What's that all about, huh?

Wellie, sarcastically: Oh, I didn't realize that.

Arthur, relieved: Yeah--

Wellie: GET OUT, NOW!

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Verloc: You didn't hear that, did you?

Arthur, lying: Hey buddy, I'm just trying to read the paper over here.

Verloc: I'll have you fired for talking to me like that!

Arthur: I don't work here.

Verloc: Then I'll have you killed!

Arthur: I want to die.

Verloc:

Arthur:

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Arthur: Hey, I was wondering if you could help me out.

Ollie: Say no more. Here's a bunch of explosives.

Arthur: Nope. Different thing.

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Sally: If a guy calls you ‘princess’ in a condescending manner, assert your newly appointed royal status and have him beheaded.

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Margaret: You know what strength is? Forgiving a person who wasn’t even sorry.

Ollie: Not to be dramatic, but I would literally rather die.

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Sally: I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to be a parent. I can’t even raise a spider, how do you expect me to kill a child?

The Weird Sisters: Are you sure you worded that right?

Sally: Oh god, I fucked up.

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Davy Hackney: I don’t dress to impress. I dress to depress. I wanna look so good that people hate themselves.

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Ollie: Meg, I would shave my head for you.

Margaret: A gesture which becomes less significant with each passing year.

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Sally: One minute, she's just a blob in my stomach, the next minute, she's a person. Blob... Person.

Weird Sisters: The miracle of birth, summed up in one poetic phrase.

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Lab worker: I have a problem.

Verloc: At the Department of Scientific Research, they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons, you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. If I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn’t be able to locate my interest in your problem.