watchawannado

[watchawannado]

Altogether, I really like the way americans say "can I help you?" as a polite general one-size-fits-all stand-in for "who the fuck are you/what the fuck are you doing here/how the fuck did you get in here/what the fuck are you staring at/what is your fucking problem." Such a polite way of going "bitch what the fuck."

[watchawannado]

You know, the fact that I function so well while being drunk kind of encourages me even more to be an alcoholic

Like no one can tell ..... like no one knows I'm drunk. .....what does that say about me?

[watchawannado]

[watchawannado]

I'm realizing I've been forward in times past and I made some people really uncomfortable and therefore I'm going to apologize to the void and maybe somewhere they will sense that and idk maybe this post will make me feel better who knows anyway I am so sorry

[watchawannado]

I'm finding that my most comfortable state when not at work is not sober and that's a bit troubling but I have no desire to stop

[watchawannado]

it’s safe to say i think about this video at least four times a day, i can quote almost the whole thing from memory

[watchawannado]

Good things: I folded all my laundry

Bad things: I drank 2-3 glasses of wine before lessons

[watchawannado]

I'm pretty sure I spend about 1/3 of my time awake in an intoxicated state

[watchawannado]

I'm just kind of checked out on life. I'm a train conductor but I'm just asleep or zoned out at the wheel and the train keeps moving forward through rain and shine

[watchawannado]

Hey again void

If you're seeing this in case you're worried I'm home, I'm still anxious, but I've got an action plan to deal with it and I think I'll be alright

Imma talk to the voooiiiiiid cuz there's no one to talk tooooooooooooo

If you're out thereeeeeeee

Just left a bar cuz it was closed and I'm like 1% too tipsy to drive

My boyfriend was at the bar but left early cuz he was tired and we didn't really have great interactions

Thought he went home but he actually went to a nearby friend's house

I don't really like the friend, but he invited me to come over and was like a little insistent about it

The smart thing would be to go there cuz I shouldn't drive yet

But I don't like said friend and the soberer I get the more I'll hate being there

No clue how long I will be there and I was already kinda having a not so great nightttttt

Currently sitting in my car (boyfriends friends house is walking distance) ahhhhhh what should I do

[watchawannado]

What's up voooiddddd

I forgot to take my meds todaaayyyyyy

And I think I'm having a panic attackkkkkkk

I'm doing the same things I did during my lasssstttt attaacccckkkkkkkk fuccckkkkk

Imma talk to the voooiiiiiid cuz there's no one to talk tooooooooooooo

If you're out thereeeeeeee

Just left a bar cuz it was closed and I'm like 1% too tipsy to drive

My boyfriend was at the bar but left early cuz he was tired and we didn't really have great interactions

Thought he went home but he actually went to a nearby friend's house

I don't really like the friend, but he invited me to come over and was like a little insistent about it

The smart thing would be to go there cuz I shouldn't drive yet

But I don't like said friend and the soberer I get the more I'll hate being there

No clue how long I will be there and I was already kinda having a not so great nightttttt

Currently sitting in my car (boyfriends friends house is walking distance) ahhhhhh what should I do

[watchawannado]

Imma talk to the voooiiiiiid cuz there's no one to talk tooooooooooooo

If you're out thereeeeeeee

Just left a bar cuz it was closed and I'm like 1% too tipsy to drive

My boyfriend was at the bar but left early cuz he was tired and we didn't really have great interactions

Thought he went home but he actually went to a nearby friend's house

I don't really like the friend, but he invited me to come over and was like a little insistent about it

The smart thing would be to go there cuz I shouldn't drive yet

But I don't like said friend and the soberer I get the more I'll hate being there

No clue how long I will be there and I was already kinda having a not so great nightttttt

Currently sitting in my car (boyfriends friends house is walking distance) ahhhhhh what should I do

[watchawannado]

How can you want some to happen but also not want it? I want someone else to rip off the bandaid, i can't do it

[watchawannado]

Man maybe I should just be a loner. I'm literally an asshole to everyone I guess. Like I used to think nobody would care if I was gone, then I was like nah actually a lot of people would care. But now I'm like how many people would be relieved?

[watchawannado]

Just admit you don't like me. Please save me the pain. Just leave me like everyone else so I can have a reason to hate yoi and hate myself

[watchawannado]

Ot feeling great. Great urge to smash something or punch myself

[watchawannado]

Yo remember those 2 paths we talked about through college how we were living 2 paths but they were parallel. Except they weren't parallel. And we though they'd meet again when we came back. But it hasn't. And I want one life, and either you dont want that or your clearly not ready for that.