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wangjanggler · 3 years ago

Text

one shot

rating; g

triggers; n/a

ship; Sidney Carter x S/I

Sidney always ignored Valentine's Day, he had never had anyone to celebrate it with, and even if he had, he never saw it as an important holiday. However now he was dating someone he cared about a lot more than he thought he ever could, and he wanted to do something special, even if it was small. Being as Father Brown was gone on a trip to the Bishop, the other priest was alone, and all Sidney had to do was get Faelynn out of the presbytery, which was easy enough; a quick call into his boss (and friend) Lady Felicia, and she would keep the priest busy for as long as he needed.

The house was empty, and Sidney let himself in with a key he got from Mrs.McCarthy, along with a recipe card. She of course tried to convince him to let her cook for them both, but he wanted to on his own. He was staring at the ‘simple pasta recipe’ — as Mrs.McCarthy told him — trying to burn the instructions into his head so he could focus on the actual cooking as much as possible.

“Shit, shit, shit” he ran over to the pot currently boiling over and spilling onto the floor, he backed up swearing once more as some water splashed onto his hand. He turned down the temperature on the stove and grabbed the pasta pouring some into the pot.

Despite his best efforts, his memory failed him and he had to keep checking the recipe card. The tomatoes he’s cutting don’t look quite as nicely diced as Mrs.McCarthy’s always did, but he hoped it would still taste good. He started on the sauce and all seemed to get back on track besides the small mishap he had with the water.

Sidney got a small break when he was supposed to let the sauce rest. He sat down and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up more than it had already gotten. He never thought trying to make a simple meal would end up this stressful; he started regretting not taking Mrs.McCarthy up on her offer to cook for them. He swore he only sat down for a few seconds, though the smell of burnt meat and the smoke creeping into his view made him nervous to turn around and see what damage had been done.

He got up and slowly turned around, moving quickly to turn down the heat and try to salvage the sauce, meanwhile the water pot started boiling over again, and he used his free hand to turn off that burner completely.

“No, no, no ‘common!” he wasn’t quite sure who he was begging to, the pots and pans? Himself? Maybe, God, it was a presbytery after all... though he doubted that even God could save this.

Sidney gave up on trying to fix the sauce “at least noodles are something...” he mumbled lifting the pot lid and waving it to clear the smoke, he grabbed a wooden spoon and attempted to stir the noodles only to realize most of them were burnt to the bottom. He rubbed his face with a stressed sigh, he wondered if he could call Lady Felicia and ask her to keep Faelynn a bit longer when he heard the door open.

‘No, no, no, no, fuck!’ He felt his heart sink as he realized there was no way now he could fix this disaster. He backed up and sat down in the chair and buried his head in his hands.

Fae coughed as he the smell of the burnt food, and smoke filled his nose. He ran into the kitchen and opened the windows to clear out the smoke, along with opening the kitchen door.

“Sidney, what on earth are you doing?!” he asked, attempting to wave the smoke out of the window with a dishtowel.

Sidney lifted his head from his hands. “I was just trying to make his dinner and...” he huffed, “I wanted tonight to be a little special, y’know? But all the stuff is burnt, and I couldn’t even get it cleaned up before you came home, and it’s all ruined”

Faelynn stops waving the towel and looks back at the mess on the stove, a smile tugging at his lips as his heart melted at the small gesture. Failed or not, it meant a lot to him that anyone would even bother to go to the effort of trying.

“The only thing not burned is the bloody wine” he gestured toward a wine bottle sitting in a partly melted bucket of ice, “I’m sorry... I fucked up tonight, badly”

“What?” the young priest stares at him “Oh honey...” he gave a small laugh and walked in front of him kneeling and pulling him down into a kiss; resting one of his hands on the back of his neck and the other gently petting the side of his head, “Sidney it was so sweet that you even tried, I don’t care if that it didn’t turn out”

“But...”

“Nothing-” he interrupted “-I love you so much Sidney... even if you almost burnt down me and Father Brown’s house” he teased.

Sidney stared at him for a moment before pulling into him into a passionate kiss, getting a questioning look from Fae when he pulls away.

“That’s the first time you’ve told me you loved me” he rests his forehead against the others

“Oh well-”

“Say it again.... please”

Faelynn can’t stop a smile from tugging at his lips. “I’m so in love with you, Sidney Carter”

A smile cracks onto Sid’s face, it had been a while since he had felt this safe and happy with someone, to have someone feel the same way about him, no judgment, not using him in any way, just pure love.

“I love you too, Preacher Boy...” he glances at the mess in the kitchen, “I promise I’ll clean this up”

Faelynn chuckles and kisses Sidney once more, “Well… I guess I can help”

#canon x self insert #self ship fanfiction #self ship fanfic #↳my dumb handy man #cannon x oc

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wangjanggler · 3 years ago

Text

Chapter Four

Chapter Triggers; religous guilt themes are heavy in this one, though it's still only during brief parts. Chapter Rating; pg

Faelynn settled into a routine. Get up (6:00 am of all the ungodly hours), make breakfast, take calls, follow around Father Brown like some lost puppy, until they come home, and he can do whatever he wants unless they get a call. Honestly, it wasn’t bad, dare say he liked it. The town didn’t trust him yet, so he wasn’t called on for anything, but more often got to tag along with Father Brown — Most of the time it was meddling in police business. He just watched, but it did make him smile to see Inspector Sullivan get upset when Father went into his office to give him a new clue.

He was currently laying in bed, despite usually getting up at this time. He figured skipping breakfast to catch up on some sleep he had missed wouldn’t be the worst thing, and Father Brown hadn’t come in to wake him, so he stayed laying, eyes closed, willing himself to go back to sleep. The sound of the door opening and floors slowly creaking as the Father tried to take slow steps made him hold back a smile.

“It’s a little unsettling when you come in without knocking.” He sat up stretching his arms; he trusted Father Brown, so he didn’t mind that the man saw him without his bindings anymore, and there was never any judgment from the man about it, at least he could take longer breaks when he knew they were off the clock.

“Sorry, I finally got that outfit for you.” He set the neatly folded pile of clothing on the chair before grabbing a set and handing it to the boy. It was a black t-shirt, and some black dress pants, “Is that a good compromise?” he asked hopefully.

Faelynn brushed his fingers over the soft fabric, it was probably cheap, but it felt nicer than the stuff he used to be able to get. He was more shocked that the priest listened to his demand. He softly shook his head, “I have my own money, I could've bought it myself if you told me.”

“I’m sure, but I know your size and sent Sid out to find them.”

“Thank you... they’ll work, yeah.” He nodded and looked at the Father once more, he seemed proud of himself, before clearing his throat.

“I made some oatmeal and coffee... the one thing I can actually cook,” he said with a small chuckle. “Come join me when you’re dressed.” Getting up, he left the room.

Faelynn looked at the clothing. On the chair, there were even long sleeves for when it got cold - like it often did. He got dressed in his new clothes and looked in the mirror, not bad... he didn’t look like a preacher, but hopefully he wouldn’t look out of place by the cassock wearing man. He got down the stairs and sat down across from the Father, but before he could say anything a plain green box was slid over to him. Fae furrowed his brows together and opened the box, a small gold cross laying loosely in it. He pushed the box back toward Father Brown.

“Now I can say you did too much, I can’t take this.” It wasn’t that he was against wearing it, he just couldn’t imagine owning something like that, wearing it, and the Father was giving it to him willingly, without ask of pay.

“No, no, It didn’t cost me. It’s the cross I wore while studying for the priesthood, and it's sat unused for far too long,” he said, pushing the box back toward him. “I’d like to see someone wearing it again. It’s far too nice to be sitting in my desk.”

Faelynn brushed the cross with his thumb, half expecting the holy object to burn him. It was funny how much being told that God didn’t want him and that he was a sin, actually made him start to believe it. He still didn’t pick the cross up, he didn’t feel like he was worthy of it; he felt like if he put it on he’d be struck down then and there, despite not even knowing if he believed in all that.

“What is it?” Father Brown gave a worried look, hoping he hadn’t offended or hurt the boy in some way.

“Just not used to this...” he mumbled. His eyes snapped up, “Uh! Thank you.” He came out of the thought bubble he trapped himself in. He took the chain out of the box finally and unclasped it, placing it around his neck.

“Here, I always had trouble doing it up by myself,” the Father said, getting up, and doing the clasp for him. Fae found it easier to just let him rather than fight it, been with him long enough to know arguing is pretty useless. “There.” He could already hear the smile in the preacher's voice.

Father Brown took his seat again, and they prayed before eating. The man talked about some article he had been reading, something scientific. Despite not understanding much of it, he still listened, interested. The door opened and closed, stopping the men from talking.

“Father, I spoke to - Oh, Hello Faelynn” Sidney smiled, cutting himself off. They hadn’t talked or seen much of each other since the day they first met.

“Sid?”

“Huh? Oh! Sorry! I spoke to Dave down at the pub, and he said, ‘Pamela was a bit too friendly with Andrew Merritt if you know what I mean....’ I don’t reckon her old man would be too happy if he happened to find out.”

“Yes...” His voice went quiet like it always did when he was thinking. “I’m guessing not...”

“Oh boy... we’ll lose him for a few seconds.” Sidney poured himself some coffee and sat on the counter, “How ya’ liking Kembleford?”

“Haven’t had the chance to explore much, kind of just stay cooped up in here... Well, I’ve seen what Father Brown’s showed me.�� He did like the small town, he got used to the quiet life pretty quickly, though he did learn that news gets around fast.

“I could give you a more in-depth tour. If you want, of course.”

Faelynn looked at the male, dressed casually, unlike the other times they met where he had been in his work uniform. He hadn’t expected him to offer to show him around. It would probably be good to have a full tour, so he didn’t get lost and end up dead somewhere in a field.

“I think he’ll be fine Sid,” Father Brown answered for him, making Sidney furrow his eyebrows. “I might need him for this anyway. How do you feel about helping me on this case?”

“With?”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

They had biked to the other side of the village. Luckily Faelynn got his biking legs back and they weren’t sore from riding the long distance. Father Brown knocked on the door of the Cannon house. He had explained where they were going on the ride there, but not why the young priest had to come with.

“Oh! ‘Ello again Father, I was just looking through some old photo albums, come in.” He opened the door further and ushered them in. Firstly, he offered some tea he had already made, which the Father happily accepted and Faelynn politely declined.

At first, it was a simple conversation, nothing about his wife, or anything about the case. He showed them the photos he was looking at, his and Pamela’s wedding photo. Faelynn frowned softly, a few days ago it was just some random dead woman he could separate himself from, pretend like she didn’t even exist. Now though she felt real, she had people who missed her, a husband who was looking through his photo book, reminiscing on their memories together - it was sad.

“Always told her we’d never look at ‘em... I can almost hear her bragging about how I was wrong,” he chuckled.

The younger priest smiled softly, letting Father Brown take the lead, so far being pretty useless; he could probably sneak out, and neither would notice. The conversation drifted to Pamela and her ‘wandering eye’, Father bringing up the man that she was often seen with.

“And you think I might-a killed ‘er ‘cause of it?” he asked.

“No,” Faelynn cut in, without meaning too, however, Father Brown nodded in agreement and looked at him to take the lead. “I’m sorry about your wife... I don’t know either of you, but I do know what it feels like to lose someone. I've seen genuine grief on people's faces before, and you can’t fake that...” he offered, “I also happen to know what it feels like when someone you trusted hurts you. The Father just wants to know the whole story, so he can help put your wife's real killer where they belong.”

The man looked at Faelynn before sighing a bit and nodding. He spilled everything he knew about the man, claimed to know about the affair, told them he didn’t care because he loved her too much to leave her, ‘no matter how much she wandered she’d always come back to me. It was hard not to feel bad for the guy.

“I never said anything to her about knowing... but one night he came to the house, drunk and mumbling about loving her. She turned him away, and they fought about it for a while before I stepped downstairs and made to scare him off.”

“Thank you... I believe you’ve helped me get a bit closer.”

They said goodbye and left Mr.Cannon to himself. This time they biked a lot slower and Faelynn tapped the handlebar with his fingers as they rode.

“I still don’t understand why you brought me along.”

“Because you get along with people... And even if you hate it, you might be cut out for this type of job.”

“Being a priest? Or being a meddlesome amateur sleuth?” he teased, a smirk playing at his lip.

“Very funny...” Father Brown said, a small smile finding its way onto his lips despite the disapproving look.

They were in no hurry to get anywhere. If they were really needed Sid or Mrs.McCarthy would have tracked them down by now, so they took their time biking home.

“Why didn’t you want Sid to show me around?” he finally asked the question that picked at the back of his mind.

“Hmm? Oh.” Father Brown sounded hesitant and stopped near a park, gesturing that they go sit by the pond. Faelynn followed and sat on the ground with him. “Sid’s a good man, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea... but the people he hangs around with... sometimes get into trouble.” Fae could tell he was choosing his words carefully. “I guessed, I just didn’t want you around them for fear of going back to your old lifestyle.”

The young priest scoffed and shook his head, leaning forward and watching a duck circle swim around the pond. “What kind of life do you think I had, Father?” he asked with a small laugh, mainly to show he didn’t take offense, he didn’t give him much to work with after all.

Silence falls over the two of them, nothing but the sound of nature and occasionally passing people. The Father turned to look at him.

“Okay. What kind of life did you have then?” he was hopeful he’d get an actual answer.

Faelynn looks at him, watching him lay down in the grass and look up at the clouds. He looked comfortable, obviously willing to wait for the boy to start talking, maybe even content with the silence that sat between them. The younger laid down as well. His life wasn’t easy, to sum up, nor did he really like talking about it, he couldn’t deny feeling comfortable talking to the priest about stuff like this.

“Before or during crime?”

“Before?”

“I don’t know...” he paused, “Quiet? We were poor, mom was sick, dad had fu- left us, we lived in this little shack, and we could barely afford that... I almost miss it sometimes.” He’s staring up at the clouds, watching them instead of the Father for fear of his reaction to anything he said.

“What happened to your mother?”

“Died when I was sixteen, and I made a run for it, I refused to be put in an orphanage... or worse, the way I dressed they may have had me committed.”

“Must have been hard...” there was a hint of sympathy in his voice. Anyone else he might have told off for that, but it was almost nice to have someone else acknowledge that, rather than having to admit it himself. “Your father?”

“No clue, left when I was twelve... if I’m honest I don’t really care where he is.” This time he looked over at the Father to see him watching him “I don’t want him back in my life, he wasn’t even really in when I had him anyway... Tell me, am I a horrible person for that?” He hadn’t meant for his voice to come out so resentful.

“No... but I’ve found forgiveness lessens the burden. And something tells me you’ve carried a lot and could do with letting go of some of it.” He looked back toward the sky.

Faelynn frowned softly and followed suit, watching the clouds slowly drift across the blue scene. The Father's words rang in his ears. He almost didn’t like that someone saw him, he’d almost rather be judged, he knew how to deal with that... He didn’t know how to deal with the understanding and patience Father Brown gave him without complaint.

“How do you forgive?” he asked.

“You forgive when you’re healing... and you start healing, when you realize you deserve to” he sat up “C’mon, let's get back home, I think I’ve figured out who the killer is, but I have to check something first.” And just like that, they were back to normal, and Faelynn was grateful for that. He chased after the priest who got a head start on him, already thinking out loud about the case.C

“I’m sure, but I know your size and sent Sid out to find them.”

“Thank you... they’ll work, yeah.” He nodded and looked at the Father once more, he seemed proud of himself, before clearing his throat.

“I made some oatmeal and coffee... the one thing I can actually cook,” he said with a small chuckle. “Come join me when you’re dressed.” Getting up, he left the room.

“What is it?” Father Brown gave a worried look, hoping he hadn’t offended or hurt the boy in some way.

“Father, I spoke to - Oh, Hello Faelynn” Sidney smiled, cutting himself off. They hadn’t talked or seen much of each other since the day they first met.

“Sid?”

“Yes...” His voice went quiet like it always did when he was thinking. “I’m guessing not...”

“Oh boy... we’ll lose him for a few seconds.” Sidney poured himself some coffee and sat on the counter, “How ya’ liking Kembleford?”

“Haven’t had the chance to explore much, kind of just stay cooped up in here... Well, I’ve seen what Father Brown’s showed me.” He did like the small town, he got used to the quiet life pretty quickly, though he did learn that news gets around fast.

“I could give you a more in-depth tour. If you want, of course.”

“I think he’ll be fine Sid,” Father Brown answered for him, making Sidney furrow his eyebrows. “I might need him for this anyway. How do you feel about helping me on this case?”

“With?”

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

“Always told her we’d never look at ‘em... I can almost hear her bragging about how I was wrong,” he chuckled.

“And you think I might-a killed ‘er ‘cause of it?” he asked.

“Thank you... I believe you’ve helped me get a bit closer.”

They said goodbye and left Mr.Cannon to himself. This time they biked a lot slower and Faelynn tapped the handlebar with his fingers as they rode.

“I still don’t understand why you brought me along.”

“Because you get along with people... And even if you hate it, you might be cut out for this type of job.”

“Being a priest? Or being a meddlesome amateur sleuth?” he teased, a smirk playing at his lip.

“Very funny...” Father Brown said, a small smile finding its way onto his lips despite the disapproving look.

They were in no hurry to get anywhere. If they were really needed Sid or Mrs.McCarthy would have tracked them down by now, so they took their time biking home.

“Why didn’t you want Sid to show me around?” he finally asked the question that picked at the back of his mind.

Silence falls over the two of them, nothing but the sound of nature and occasionally passing people. The Father turned to look at him.

“Okay. What kind of life did you have then?” he was hopeful he’d get an actual answer.

“Before or during crime?”

“Before?”

“What happened to your mother?”

“Died when I was sixteen, and I made a run for it, I refused to be put in an orphanage... or worse, the way I dressed they may have had me committed.”

“No... but I’ve found forgiveness lessens the burden. And something tells me you’ve carried a lot and could do with letting go of some of it.” He looked back toward the sky.

“How do you forgive?” he asked.

#forgive me father for i have sinned

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wangjanggler · 3 years ago

Text

Chapter Three

Chapter Triggers; n/a Chapter Rating; pg

Faelynn slows after putting a good bit of space between him and Father Brown. He rode slowly, only to have Father Brown catch up with him —panting a bit and breaking to catch his breath. He decided to stop with him to make sure he would be fine.

"Don't... go ahead like that!" he said, panting.

He gave a small laugh, "I was planning on waiting for you when I got to town."

Father Brown gave him a disapproving look. He shrugged a bit and pushed off on his bike, only to have the priest quickly do the same thing. Faelynn smiled a bit, this time riding at a normal speed.

"What's next, Father?"

"We're headed to the church to meet Mrs.McCarthy, mainly to talk over finances," he explained. "We do it at least once a week so we know the budget of everything."

"I imagine we aren't always going to be busy?"

"No... it's a quiet town. Confessionals offered whenever someone needs one, spiritual guidance, and reading of the last rights are probably the duties we'll be doing the most."

Faelynn nodded, it sounded like a boring life, even listening to people's sins. Even when he gave confession to prisoners he found it boring and not a lot of people can top those guys. They pulled up to the church to see Mrs.McCarthy, another woman, and man closer to Faelynn's age than the rest of them, sitting on the church stairs, looking at what appeared to be a body laying on the grass. Father Brown parked his bike, Faelynn followed suit and followed him to the crime scene, an ambulance was waiting to gather the body.

"I'm surprised I beat you to this crime scene, Father."

"I was showing our new priest around, he'll be helping me out around here. Faelynn, Inspector Sullivan," Father Brown introduced them.

Faelynn watched the exchange, it was clear they knew each other very well. The Inspector's eyes flicked to him and his body tensed. He had never run into the Inspector before, but he still hoped that he wouldn't be noticed by local police. He would rather keep his criminal record out of the public eye.

"You're not going to give me trouble too are you?" the Inspector scowled at him.

"Too?"

"I'll take that as a no," the inspector smirked at him.

The young priest rolled his eyes and looked to see Father Brown getting on his knees, near the dead woman to pray for her. He wondered if he should do the same thing, though he didn't have to wonder for too long because eyes were watching him. He quickly joined him on the grass, and could already feel the dew making his knees damp. He copied the way Father Brown bowed his head and prayed out loud with him. He knew this prayer all too well, saying it at odd hours of the day because an inmate passed away, someone whose soul really needed saving but god had seemed to have forgotten, to Faelynn it seemed like he did that a lot. He opened his eyes and looked down at the woman, he didn't know her, but he had to wonder if Father Brown did.

"One of yours?" the inspector asked.

"Uh... yeah, Pamela Cannon, she never missed church or a confession."

"There are no marks, no sign of a struggle, so we're thinking it's natural."

"Inspector, do you really think—"

"We'll have to wait until the autopsy report but I'm assuming it's going to come back natural, so no need for you to go sticking your nose into places it doesn't belong."

Faelynn watched the interaction, at least he could conclude they weren't friends. The body was taken away and the inspector put away his notepad.

"I mean it Brown, stay out of it," he said. "You make sure he does." He pointed at the other priest, getting into his car and promptly leaving the site.

"What the hell was that?" the young priest asked, looking at Father Brown for answers.

"Father!" Mrs.McCarthy's voice spoke up, sounding offended.

"No obscenities... especially on holy ground, Faelynn," he said patiently.

"Fine... The question still stands, and I think I'm allowed at least one after all you've been asking."

"Father Brown 'ere has solved himself a few crimes. I'm surprised that Bishop fellow never said anything to you, seems to hate it," the boy standing with the two women said.

"Crimes?"

"I've been known to.... help."

"Seems like the Inspector doesn't like your help," he teased, a smile creeping onto his lips.

"Well..."

Faelynn patted the Father on the shoulder and leaned in, so he could whisper, "Seems we have a bit more in common than I thought." He pulled away and looked at the others. "So who are those two?"

"Oh! Very sorry, this is Sidney Carter, and Lady Felicia, close friends of mine. This is the new priest we've been expecting."

Sid shakes his hand. "Huh, like no priest I ever saw," he said.

Faelynn kissed Lady Felicia's hand gently as he took it. He knew he could flatter if need be, though he had to remember he was a priest, he had to behave... not the Lady Felicia was the type he would go for anyway... not at all.

"But a gentleman either way," she smiled at him.

"And a man of the cloth," Mrs.McCarthy warned, making Faelynn chuckle.

They go into the church and sit down in the back row of pews to talk. Father Brown wasted no time asking what had happened, assuming one of them found the body. He wondered if Father Brown poked his nose into every death that happened around here.

"Oh, it was awful Father, I found her lying here in front of the church. I know the Inspector keeps saying it was probably natural causes, but Pamela was fit as a fiddle. I saw her go for walks every morning."

"Not surprising, police will say anything to get out of doing their job," he said, glancing up to see Father Brown give him a disapproving look, though he wasn't going to take it back.

Sid patted his shoulder, "I think we're going to get along just fine Father."

"Please, just Faelynn or Fae," he corrected, "I hate formalities."

"Even better."

Father Brown asks a few more questions and sends Lady Felicia and Sidney off to do some snooping for him. That left the three to talk about finances, something about the roof needing to be replaced forever now. They stopped the official talk and Father Brown excused himself to go do something in the backrooms of the church.

"Mrs.McCarthy, do you make Father's dinner?"

"Not all the time but sometimes, and yours too, I suppose," she smiled at him.

"Well I'll cook for me and him tonight, I miss cooking. I didn't get to do it much while... studying." Again it wasn't a lie, not really, though he did feel a pang of odd guilt about it while in the church.

"You can cook?" She seemed hesitant to agree.

"Yes, quite good at it as well."

"Well... okay but if you need any help you call me, and I'll rush over."

Faelynn agreed and Mrs.McCarthy said goodbye to both of them, leaving for her home. They ended up walking back to the house, seeing as Father Brown's knees were starting to hurt from the long day of biking around.

When they got home, Faelynn looked around in the kitchen for something to make, eventually settling on a mushroom pasta, reminding himself to ask the Father if he could suggest some things to pick up. The older man eventually joined him in the kitchen while he was cooking the sauce and waiting for the water to boil.

"So you gonna help with this case?" He tried his hand at some sort of conversation.

"You said we were alike, Faelynn, but I am nothing like you," he said, as if the comparison had been bothering him since he said it.

"It wasn't meant as an insult..." he said. Despite the temptation he didn't look at the priest, "Forgot how you lot see me."

The Father opened his mouth then closed it, uneasy guilt settling onto his shoulders. He really didn't know how Faelynn had meant it, how did he think they were alike? He assumed he meant to compare law-breaking, and even then Father Brown knew he couldn't say he was a law-abiding citizen —though it was always for the greater good in his opinion. Even so, he knew it wasn't his place to judge.

"I didn't mean it like that." he settled on.

"I know." He stopped stirring, his eyes settling on the sunset out the kitchen window. "Do you think I'm a bad person Father?"

The question didn't help Father Brown's feeling of guilt, however, the answer was easy; "No... from what I've seen today, I may make a priest out of you yet."

Faelynn scoffed, shaking his head. The preacher was too sweet for his own good. He was curious what stories he had to tell, though he wasn't going to press for them just yet, not until he was willing to give up more information about himself. He tapped the side of the pan with the wooden spoon. I there was one thing the man with him didn't need, it was someone as troublesome as him on his hands. Fae could be good, he knew he had it in him, to be kind and not cold, to play the part of a priest. He made up his mind that wanted to stay with Father Brown the whole time, so he needed to give him a reason to keep him around.

"I'll play pretend," he broke the silence.

"Sorry?"

"Tell me what I need to do, and I'll do it... I'll do the whole good preacher thing... as long as you keep me here with you." He looked at Father Brown. He seemed confused, so Faelynn continued, "It's cozy here... it's better than the Bishop. He looks at me like I'm a lost cause... and it's definitely better than prison."

"Okay," Father said folding his hand and leaning forward to rest his arms on his legs, "but you'll have to try harder to please the town... you're clothing—"

"-No! No preachers robe's or that thing you wear." That was a hard no, he tried one on while at the Bishop's, but that stupid white strip kept bothering his neck, the sleeves felt off. He refused to wear it, and luckily the Bishop gave up on trying to make him.

"If I come up with something else... Will you wear it?"

"As long as it's never been official priest wear.... Sure."

Father Brown smiled. Maybe he would make a priest out of him yet.

Next Chapter

#forgive me father for i have sinned

0 notes

wangjanggler · 3 years ago

Text

Forgive Me Father For I have Sinned

Chapter Triggers; breif mentions of religious truama Chapter Rating; pg

Chapter Two

A knock at his bedroom door woke him up the next morning, making him peek out from his covers at the alarm clock on the bedside table. 6:30 A.M. Too early for him, even in prison he would only poke his head out for breakfast and round up before going back to bed until a guard came knocking for his working hours and free time. He threw the covers back over his head and curled into himself, fully intending on going back to sleep. Another few knocks and the door opened. The Bishop would have given up and let him be, but it seems Father Brown was more persistent.

“Faelynn, I know for a fact you were woken up earlier by the prison guards,” Father Brown’s voice said. “We’re up at six thirty sharp every morning.”

“Why?” he groaned from under the covers.

“We do have more duties than just mass, you should know that.” The covers were pulled off of him. He hissed at the sun hitting him in the eyes and glared at the stunned looking priest.

He didn’t know the source of his shock until he followed The Father's eyes down to his chest, quickly grabbing the covers from the edge of his bed and covering himself. Panic ran through him. For a second, he thought he could physically feel his heart drop to his stomach.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t of done that.” He turned to quickly leave. “Breakfast is made, please come join me,” he added quickly before closing the door.

The young priest groaned, he felt like he was going to throw up, the source of Father Brown's shock wasn’t hard to guess, now. He let the blanket drop, now rubbing his hands over his face and glancing at the mirror hooked onto the wall. He was wearing a loose red sleeping shirt. Despite it being a few sizes too big for him, it didn’t stop the two lumps on his chest from showing. Faelynn pulled his shirt forward, trying to decide if he should cry, or suck it up.

He decided to suck it up and get dressed, starting with binding his chest flat with some bandages, and throwing a white t-shirt he had over it. He looked flat, he felt comfortable again, though his heart still sat at the pit of his stomach. He was stupid enough to sleep without binding, but he also knew what the long terms in it did to him. He had bruised ribs before from sleeping in it at The Bishops, but here he figured he wouldn’t be bothered at night.

The prison knew sure, they sent him to a male prison to keep him safe. He was perfectly sane, besides— as the doctors called it— ‘pretending to be a boy’.... He knew he wasn’t pretending, but any lie to keep him out of the loony bin was good enough for him, so he went along with it, saying it was to keep him safe, since he “didn’t have a man to protect him”. Faelynn tugged on the plain white t-shirt and fixed his hair as fast as he could before rushing down the stairs. He had to talk to Father Brown, explain himself. Maybe he could lie and say it was a birth defect, or maybe it was hopeless and this bit of freedom he got would be snatched away from him with a call to The Bishop telling him the truth.

“Father Brown, I -” he cut himself off, seeing Mrs.McCarthy drinking tea at the table with the father, “I... I’m sorry I didn’t wake up right away at your knocking, I’m a heavy sleeper,” he quickly said with a small smile. He supposed the conversation would have to wait.

“That's alright.” He looked at the woman across from him. For a moment, Faelynn dreaded that he had already told her, but she didn’t say anything, only smiled at him. “Mrs.McCarthy stopped by, figuring you would like a nice home cooked breakfast.” He gestured at the plate of eggs and toast waiting for him.

“Oh... I- thank you, Mrs.McCarthy.” He doubted he would calm down until he could talk to Father Brown alone.

“It was nothing dear, heaven knows what they fed you at The Bishop's”

He walked to the seat and sat down. Father Brown was already eating his; he had probably tried to wake him up a bit earlier, but Faelynn wasn’t lying when he said he was a deep sleeper. He almost picked up his fork before remembering he had to keep up his act of being a priest around the townspeople - especially the parish secretary.

The last time he prayed at meal time was when he was ten. He sort of stumbled his way through getting ordained, forgetting most of what he learned as he went along. He decided praying silently was probably acceptable, then he didn’t have to pray he just had to pretend... then maybe consult his book of prayers so he at least could memorize some of them. He knew a few common mass ones he would say with the prisoners from time to time.

Faelynn unfolded his hands, and Mrs.McCarthy and The Father started talking again. He ate silently, bits and pieces of gossip floating in and interrupting panicked thoughts, but otherwise he ignored the two, too anxious to really focus on everything. The food was good, but any food was good compared to prison food. He wondered if Father Brown would let him cook; even before prison, he didn’t get to do it much - he missed it.

“Tell me, Father, have you had a parish anywhere before?” This time, the conversation had been directed toward him.

He originally opened his mouth to correct her, but had a feeling maybe he should just get used to being called ‘Father’ by the parish. He closed his mouth because the question was difficult, how did he wiggle out of this one? Did he lie?

“Well even before I was officially ordained I was holding mass’ at a prison,” he said. It wasn’t a lie... he just left out small details that she didn’t need to go spreading around.

“Oh...” There was already a tone of judgement in her voice. “Well, it's nice to see that some of those degenerates look to god for help.”

Faelynn’s jaw clenched, and Father Brown took the hint that he should probably usher Mrs.McCarthy out. He wasn’t going to pretend like the high class of society was with him in prison, but he had made some close friends there. A lot of them were good people that just fell on hard times, did what they had to to survive.

“Mrs. McCarthy, we’ll meet you at the church this afternoon. I need to show Faelynn around town, and run some errands with him, show him what we’ll be doing on a day-to-day basis.”

“Oh, yes I suppose. Well, I hope you like our little town as much as we do,” she smiled.

“Thank you for the food, it was wonderful.” He nodded as Father Brown walked her out the door.

Faelynn got up and cleaned the table off, seeing as both of them were done. He wanted to make himself somewhat useful, maybe it would make up for him being bad at the priest stuff, but more so, hopefully Father Brown would see that as enough of a reason not to tell on him. He ran the water to clean off the plates, not bothering to look up when The Father came back in. The whole breakfast, his heart hadn’t come back from his stomach. He still felt a bit sick from being found out, scolding himself for being stupid enough to let it happen.

“Faelynn... I’m sorry about this morning, it was rather rude to pull the covers off of you when I didn’t know if you were decent or not...”

“I don’t care about that.” It was true, he didn’t, if he was like other men... real men... he wouldn’t have actually had a need to worry about it.

“Still...” he paused for a moment before placing a hand on his shoulder, “and... I don’t care. Your secret's safe with me.” Father Brown didn’t have to specify what he meant. Faeylnn turned and looked at him, “Though, if you don’t mind me asking, how does the church not know?”

“The prison wasn’t allowed to share that bit of information with anyone. The only reason they knew is ‘cause they have to for safety reasons. Legal documents were faked when I came to the country. I knew someone, managed to get the money to pay them enough. Luckily, the police found it too troublesome and unimportant to deal with, so they turned a blind eye to the fake documents... I run on a strict 'what they don’t know doesn’t hurt them' policy. I figured they’d somehow find out, but they haven’t yet.”

“Well, they won’t hear anything from me about it...” He smiled, something about the way The Father spoke calmed him down. He didn’t trust easily, but something about his tone made him feel differently. “I have a gift for you when you’re ready to set out.” He quickly changed the subject and moved past him to grab his hat. “Meet me outside, and don’t take too much time, we have a house call to make.”

Faelynn watched him walk out the door and dried his hands. He ran up the stairs to find his shoes. Slipping them on, he walked outside, the priest stood by two bikes.

“I don’t have a vehicle, wouldn’t have much use for one, but I figured you’d need a way to get around with or without me, so.” He gestured to the bike.

His hands brushed over the bike handle, taking it hesitantly from the priest. There was a part of him that didn’t quite believe he was getting such a nice gift, however, Father Brown only smiled and wheeled his own to the road, getting on it. Faelynn got on his bike and pushed off to follow him.

Father Brown gave him a tour of the town, stopping occasionally to talk to someone. It was odd that everyone knew him. He had come from a fairly bigger city, until he moved here and had been sent to prison, he hadn’t really had many people he could say he was close to. They started off into the country.

“I promised a new couple in town that I would bless their house, do you remember how to do blessings?”

“Remember reading about them... never had to do one, not many cell blessings going on.”

“Ah, do you mind me asking what you went in for?”

Faelynn went quiet, taking both hands off the handles to fix his hair and lean back for a second. He felt impressed with himself that he could still do that after so many years not riding a bike. Part of him wanted to answer the question, but he wasn’t in the habit of talking about his crime to people, let alone a catholic priest.

“Does it matter?” he asked.

“I suppose not, have you gone to confession?”

“And asked for forgiveness? No haven’t bothered.”

“Well, if you ever want to, God is willing to forgive,” he said. “Or if you just want to talk about it, it doesn’t have to be confession, friend to friend is allowed as well.”

“Friend?”

“Yeah, friends. I hope you’ll see me as a friend eventually.”

Faelynn slowed down for a moment before speeding to catch up with Father Brown. It was a different response than he was used to. Men of the cloth telling him to ‘repent now or burn forever’. Despite wanting to point that out, he stayed quiet through the rest of the bike ride. By the time they got to the farm, the younger’s legs were sore.

“Did you really need to take me out this far?” he groaned getting off his bike, kicking the stand, “Been awhile since I’ve had to go this far anywhere.”

“You’re a young man, you’ll heal fast.” He patted the boy on the back of the shoulder and lead them to the front door, knocking. “Do me a favor, Faelynn. No eye rolling, and no side comments”

Faelynn nodded; he couldn’t even act offended that the preacher assumed he would do something like that. He followed the priest as the young lady invited them in, saying something about her husband being at work. Father Brown handed him some things to hold, and they walked around the house blessing it. He didn’t quite understand the point, but he didn’t mind.

He declined the offer of tea — hated the stuff — but Father Brown accepted. Faelynn kept to himself while they visited, asking how the honeymoon was along with other conversation pieces. Eventually, though, they left and started the way back toward the town.

“Part of being a priest is getting along with people,” Father Brown said, “something tells me you don’t make a habit of that?”

“I don’t start fights if that's what you're asking.”

“You’re not very sociable?” he clarified.

“Not really… never was.” He glanced out at a pasture with cows grazing. “Robbery,” he said, looking back at Father Brown. “I got caught robbing a place along with a few minor crimes in my past, so coppers threw me in the pen.” He didn’t know why he told him. Maybe it was to change the subject off his character, but he felt more like it was because he wanted to tell him.

“I see, I never understood the need to steal.”

“Right... one of the ten commandments... well now you know.”

“Something tells me... I don’t know the whole story.”

“Well, there's the starting sentence, then. We’ll see if you give up on me before finishing the book.” He stood to speed his bike ahead of the priest, ignoring his calls to wait for him.

Chapter Three

#forgive me father for i have sinned

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wangjanggler · 3 years ago

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Forgive Me Father For I have Sinned

Chapter Triggers: n/a Chapter Rating: pg

Chapter One

It was true that The Bishop agreed to take the inmate priest under his wing, and it was also true that he did it to seem like a good person to the people higher up than him in the church, and of course, one would be led to believe then it was also true that the only reason he wasn’t admitting it was a bad idea was, so he didn’t look bad in the eyes of the church leaders. The priest they got was unruly, disrespectful, and The Bishop got tired of him rather quickly.

Faelynn wasn’t a normal priest - no; he didn’t like being called “Father”, he refused to wear those stuffy-looking uniforms, he rarely went to mass (let alone host it), he was nothing like the prison guard who spoke so highly of him promised. The Bishop was willing to accept fault but refused to accept the defeat, he bold-faced lied to his higher-ups, telling them the boy was doing great, and lied about his absences.

The Bishop eventually came up with the perfect plan. While he had to admit faelynn was worse, he had another troublesome priest on his hand, so he was offloading the younger priest onto Father Brown, a well-known amateur sleuth; which the church didn’t much appreciate. It was the perfect plane in The Bishop's eyes, hopefully, Father Brown would be so busy trying to tame faelynn that he wouldn’t get into any more trouble, and at the same time, he, in turn, didn’t have to try and tame the wild priest himself and could continue with his church duties in peace.

Faelynn wasn’t exactly happy, but it was part of the deal when they let him out; he had to serve for the church for eight years, basically serving instead of being behind bars, which meant going where the church wanted him. He wasn’t into preaching, he wasn’t even into God, no, he just knew some scripture and would stand-in for the preacher when he was late in the prison. Somehow that led to him being ordained while still in prison serving his ten-year sentence. The prison warden got him a pretty good deal with the judge though, so he took it, figured it’d be smooth sailing, even more so now that The Bishop wouldn’t be breathing down his neck. Anywhere was better than living with that man.

They didn’t trust him to get to Father Brown on his own, so The Bishop took him there. He talked with the priest a bit, while faelynn grabbed his backpack, he didn’t have a lot; a few prayer books the prison priest gave him along with some normal books, a bible that was doodled in whenever he got bored, and his clothing, not one article being the typical preacher getup. He pushed his hair back and walked over to the priest and The Bishop.

“Father Brown, this is Faelynn Collins” he introduced the two.

“Father Collins, it’s lovely to meet you finally” Father Brown smiled and shook his hand.

“Yeah... it’s just Faelynn” he said, pulling his hand away and looking around the small village he was being dumped in.

“Very well... Faelynn” he corrected himself happily.

“I must get going father, but it was a pleasure seeing you” he nodded, obviously he couldn’t get rid of the boy fast enough.

Once again Father Brown bowed and kissed his hand, Faelynn looked at The Bishop and glared making it clear there was no way he was doing the same. The Bishop quickly got into his car and the driver sped away. The younger priest sighed and looked at the older, he seemed like the typical priest, only going by “Father”, wearing the getup.

“Come in, the church security made some tea and scones, and I can show you the room you’ll be staying in” he led them into his house.

It was cozy, it had been a while since Fae had been in a house. He had only been in prison three years, but even before then, he hadn’t had an actual place, simply a campfire and an old rail cart that had toppled over by some unused tracks. Faelynn's eyes naturally brought him to the women pouring out some tea into fine china.

“Please sit, make yourself at home,” Father Brown said, taking a seat himself.

“I’m Bridgette McCarthy, by the way, Father...”

“Just Faelynn please” he had a feeling he would be saying that a lot to these people, he sat down across from the priest.

“Oh... I...” Mrs.McCarthy trailed off “anyway Father, if you don’t mind I’ll get going now, my grandbaby, and daughter are stopping over for dinner”

“Oh yes, I can take it from here, Mrs.McCarthy, thank you” Father Brown nodded.

“It was nice meeting you again fath- Faelynn” she stumbled over her words a bit, before quickly leaving.

Faelynn looked down at the cup in front of him, he didn’t know what to make of everything, at least he was out of that stuffy place The Bishop lived in. Daresay, Father Brown’s place was even comfortable.

“Just so you know...” Father Brown said after he was sure his sectary was gone, “no one knows you came from prison... the people in this town can be a bit... they mean well they do... but they can be a bit...”

“Judgey?” Faelynn finished for him, “I’m used to the sort”

the priest sighed and nodded a bit, “you said it, but I won’t disagree... they just need a chance to warm up to you”

Faelynn hummed a bit, “listen, Father, I...”

“Don’t actually want to be a preacher?” Father Brown smiled, “you don’t hide it very well... then why are you here?”

“Because out here’s a lot better than in there for seven more years. Good behavior, and somehow enough helping out the priest there, and I was ordained, the warden took a liking to me and put in a good word with the judge, he made a deal with me, this was it” he gestured “Doesn’t mean I want to play preacher the whole time” he finally took a drink of his cup, scrunching up his nose at the tea - gross.

Father Brown nodded, “maybe god called you to him for a reason”

“If god’s real he never talked to me,” he said before going silent “sorry, I know the scripture, I don’t believe in it”

“Maybe you do believe in him though, in some way... after all, you didn’t know this would get you out early”

Faelynn shrugged, “doesn’t matter, I’m not technically out, so you and the rest of your people have me for seven years...”

“Faeylnn -”

“- Can we stop talking about this?” he cut him off, “for now at least?”

Father Brown opened his mouth before closing it and smiling, figuring it best not to push the topic and drive the boy further away than he already seemed. “For now, I suppose but do expect more questions later, I want to get to know you”

“Look forward to it,” he said sarcastically with a sigh, tracing his finger along the rim of his cup, fully intent on letting the liquid go cold without touching it again.

Faelynn allowed Father Brown to give him the rundown on the town and its people, he didn’t care, he assumed at one point or another the priest would ask The Bishop to relocate him; he also assumed eventually he would be thrown back in prison after The Bishop lost whatever weird pride he had about keeping him. He got shown to his room and the Father allowed him to get settled in alone.

It gave Fae the time to breathe and let it sink it where he was and what he was doing. He laid down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. It was only seven years, seven years, and he would be free to do what he wanted, and if he was lucky, those seven years would be easy sailing as a preacher. Who knew, maybe he would even like it with Father Brown.

Next Chapter

#forgive me father for i have sinned

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