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“They’ve what?” asked Peggy, who had hubristically believed herself incapable of having her ghast in any way flabbered by either Bonny or Belle. And yet here she was, flabbered of ghast, and smacked of gob.

Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall

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On the drive to w apologizing to my car for all the times I complained that it was hot as balls. Give me my hot balls back car, I've learned the error of my ways.

i always forget how much of a hell getting up in the morning during the cold months is until im trying to get dressed taking frost damage like ough augh ugha oagh uagh

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it fucken WIMDY (part 3)

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“Tell that crotch-scratching, bottom line–licking dumbass that I quit.” “Crotch-scratching, bottom line–licking dumbass. Crotch-scratching, bottom line–licking dumbass. Got it,” Fred said cheerily and then uncovered the cordless phone.

Riley Thorn and the Dead Guy Next Door by Lucy Score

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Riley winced. “Getting shot sucks almost as much as running.”

Riley Thorne and the Dead Guy Next Door by Lucy Score

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death is a motherfucker and isn’t big on giving notice

Spooky Business by S.E. Harmon

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"When Buddy first plays basketball in the film, he makes an astounding twelve shots in a row, which is clearly not an accurate portrayal of a dog’s skills."

-Monica Kim 2014

This article slanders dear beloved Buddy (RIP) but it is quite informative. Also, I have no idea what AirBud has to do with modern farming.

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Art by Danijela Antunović

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It was strange what you remembered and what you didn’t. Stranger still the things your parents held on to as critically important information, and what they let fall away as bygones, ghosts of the past.

Cry Wolf by Charlie Adhara

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One of my very darkest secrets: I wrote Liam Nash fanfiction.

Not That Impossible by Isabel Murray

This book is seriously one of my favorites. The humor just really works for me and haven't we all fantasized about what our crush looks like in war breeches?

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“You fuzzy bitch,” Riley said, not without some respect.

Do Your Worst by Rosie Danan

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"Being open isn’t easy for either of us. Shit, maybe not for anyone. But I work on it because, to me, you’re worth it. And you know what, Oliver? I’m worth it, too."

Thrown to the Wolves by Charlie Adhara

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baileys hater moment must be rebuffed with complete force