Random thoughts. Trans guy things. BG3 is consuming my life.
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God, South of Midnight is so heartbreakingly good. The way it weaves story, lore and the music together into a dark and sublime harmony. Truly, I have stopped caring about combat and only want to get through it to find the next piece of lore or hear the next lyric of the song.
And giving every boss their own jazz/bluegrass folklore ballad? A genius move. An incredible move. More games need to give their bosses ballads where the lyrics sing the boss' story.
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Lae’zel: You are supposed to bang your fist against mine.
Shadowheart: Why?
Lae’zel: I'm told it is a widely accepted gesture for mutual success.
Astarion: I love it when you two impersonate normal people.
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im so bad at maintaining online friendships!! im sorry to everyone i’ve had a lovely chat with but havent followed up with!! im a very isolating person and i still consider you my friend i promise !!!
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what shar and the sharrians did to shadowheart is honestly one of the worst things you can do to a person. they tried to strip her of her identity, manipulated her, and erased her memories. memories are everything. they shape who we are, even the painful ones. that’s why something like alzheimer’s is so devastating: you lose more and more pieces of yourself until there’s almost nothing left of the person that used to be there. that’s basically what they did to her. they took her past, her choices, her sense of self, even then, her true nature still found a way through. she never fully became what they wanted her to be. she still loves animals, she’s still soft at heart, and she’s still capable of deep love, even if she struggles with trust and opening up. no matter how hard they tried to mold her into something else, they could never truly break her. that resilience, that quiet strength, is what makes her so compelling to me.
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autistic folks when their routine gets disrupted, and they don't get alone time when they're supposed to get alone time

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You have taken the whole of me. I could never accept just a piece of you in return.
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Just saw that some TERF/radfem touched one of my Shadowheart posts and I would like to make this very clear: Shadowhearts best friend is a transwomen. Shadowheart punches transphobes it's literally canon. Shadowheart is bisexual. She would despise you assholes. And also: Every single voice actor of BG3 that I have seen has spoken out for their support of trans people. Jennifer English (Shadowheart) posts about this OFTEN on Instagram, she and her girlfriend Aliona Baranova are very much supporter of trans people and trans rights. All of the voice actors always speak so proudly of the fact that this game has given people the strenght to come out, learn about themselfs or just feel seen. Literally NO one likes you assholes. You guys have no place in fandom.
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Thinking about how Shadowheart is so thirsty, y'know? She flirts with Karlach and Wyll, pines after Shar, has an incredibly homoerotic dynamic with Lae'zel, dreams about Halsin, and, if prompted, is enthusiastically polyamarous.
All of this is all well and good from a horny standpoint, but I think it also illustrates something important about Shadowheart's personality: No matter how prickly she tries to present herself, she's a lover at her core.
She loves life, even when she attempts to mask this love behind cold violence. She loves cute animals and pretty flowers. She loves her parents, even as she struggles to remember them. She loves her goddess (In her own, fucked up way). She loves trashy romance chapbooks and good wine. She loves her friends, even when they annoy her. She loves herself, after a fashion, and loves her body, loves other people's bodies. Even before fully abandoning Shar, as a partner she's caring, affectionate, even a little girlish and goofy behind the veneer of brooding mysteries.
And these things manifest even after being raised in Shar's cloister, after several decades of trauma and memory wipes. So strong is Shadowheart's love that Viconia literally has to erase her multiple times to build a colder, more callous acolyte. So strong is her love that even when mind wiped and personally guided by the hand of the Lady of Sorrows, she still harbors doubts about the thing that tells her to abandon her love.
It's the love of and for her companions, and the gnawing feeling of absence where her she knows her other loves should be, that ultimately leads her away from Shar. Her first priority after enduring timeless torments in the Shadowfell is affirming her love to a romanced player character. If her parents survive, she abandons what would have almost certainly been a life of fame, fortune, and power to care for them on a cozy farmstead, surrounding herself with the things and people that she loves. And if it comes up, she sees any proposed nonmonogamy not as an indictment of her partner's loyalty or their bond with her, but as a chance for them to spread and share and revel in the love that she holds so dear.
It's no wonder Viconia and Shar were so desperate to control her, to turn her away from Selûne. This is a woman whose love burns so brightly that even the goddess of darkness and loss failed to snuff out her light.
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