void--juice - Tumblr blog

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Fragments of Sappho, circa 630 - 580 BC. Translated by Anne Carson.

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Off topic, but have some fishes for now

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theres bikes around the city you can rent but you have to use an app that needs your drivers license. theres buses that drive right to your destination, but if you dont have change you need the app. you can wash your car here if you sign into the app. you can go to the bathroom here you just have to unlock it with the app that needs your location on. you can order at this restaurant if you scan the code and download the app. im losing my freaking mind

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As an adult you must cultivate the skill of “Gross! Oh, well. Not my business.”

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In her kiss, I taste the revolution ✊💜🩷 (x)

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My siblings did school athletics so they got yearly check-ups but I never did. I think my mom just didn't think about it. "Take kids to the doctor" was checked off her list every summer, and it was only on her list because the school would give her shit if she didn't. Under most circumstances this wouldn't be too big of a deal, but it ended up being the reason I needed major spine surgery at 16.

I was flagged for scoliosis at the school screenings when I was in fifth grade. I needed vaccines going into middle school, so I went to the doctor that summer and he looked at my back because the note was on my chart. He said there wasn't much of a curve and I didn't need to worry, but it was worth watching just in case. I didn't go to the doctor for five years, and in that time, my spinal curve got worse very fast. Somehow I'd convinced myself that my extremely uneven hips and the hump on my back came from me not exercising enough. I didn't want it to be my fault that I had to go to the doctor, I didn't want my mom to have to "waste money" on that, so I didn't say anything.

It wasn't until I was 16, when I had to go in for a meningitis vaccine, that the doctor looked at my spine again. I only needed that vaccine because I'd gotten into an early-college program and it was required that I have it if I was going to live on campus. The doctor asked why my mom hadn't taken me in for a check-up for five years and she didn't have a good answer. My spine now had two curves in it, one was SIXTY degrees. I spent the drive home reassuring my mom that it wasn't her fault because I knew it would eventually turn into her blaming me if I didn't. We were referred to a specialist and I ended up needing spinal fusion surgery.

Twelve of my vertebrae were fused together, I have 24 titanium screws drilled into my spine. Four years later, my back still aches all the time. I can't run, I can't twist any part of my torso, I have a 15-inch scar. I am disabled, more so than I would have been if I'd started wearing a brace as soon as the curve reached 20 degrees. This is her fault.

My friend telling me she couldn’t finish Educated by Tara Westover because of the severe avoidance of doctors

Me trying to pretend I am also shocked by this and NOT that I’m shocked she’s disturbed by it

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the reason why mormon software all sucks despite being a multi billion dollar corporation that has entire systems for it is bc they’re such bigots and afraid of anyone that is different that there are no trans women or furries working there

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੯‧̀͡ ⬮ <- snoopy text emoticon to copy and paste.

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this is a poem

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butchified wolverine…

creds to @ dr3amcast0matic on tiktok !!!

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so i left the mormon church as a teenager (15ish? 16?), but stayed in attendance until i was 20. i was pretty up front about the whole deciding-it-wasnt-true process with my bishop, who frankly took it really well, but it wasnt like i pulled all 150 ward members aside and had a heart to heart with them. anyway, i didnt believe, so at 19 i didnt go on a mission, and while some people in the ward were totally fine with that, others werent. and there was one woman in her late 50s who pulled me aside one day to interrogate me why i hadnt gone on a mission.

"the duty of every young man" she said.

and the thing is, im autistic. and a lot of people assume that when youre autistic, your social skills just arent very good. but thats not exactly true. your Be Polite skills are kind of eh, and they tend to stay that way, but as a sort of survival mechanism your Be Rude skills become amazing simply because you get put in tons of situations where your choices are to Function or Be Polite. and no one can choose Be Polite forever. the world demands function, it merely encourages politeness.

anyway, it can really catch neurotypicals by surprise, because hey, heres this kind of awkward, graceless guy, who stumbles over his words a lot and is very apologetic. hes probably a huge pushover. but i'm only like that when we're playing The Polite Game, because i am frankly kind of bad at it. but when its time to play The Rude Game, i go fucking ham and asking about the not-going-on-a-mission thing is Super Rude. so i said:

"sister hadlock... they wont let me go because i lit-er-ally cannot stop sucking dicks. i dont know why, its just so, so hard."

*dramatic pause*

"also - its very difficult to stop."

anyway, it almost killed her. i think she'd expected to just kind of steamroll me for the entire conversation, but the answer crushed her soul. instead of continuing her interrogation she made a noise like a horse drowning in a bog and left.

to add insult to injury, she went to the bishop after that, thinking he'd chew me out for being an ass, but instead he chewed her out for not minding her own business. then she went to my parents after that, who basically went "yeah, babylon was pretty rude. but youre also pretty rude. what are you, mad that he's better at it than you?"

i really loved that ward.

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D.E.B.S. (2004) — dir. Angela Robinson