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both ronan and adam

my favorite kind of character is the kind who deep in their soul is constantly screaming LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME and outwardly expressing literally anything else

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Here’s the new

Raven Cycle short story!

~Spoilers~

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these divas 😔

art | mrotisky

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ronan and adam

I love it when two characters are completely and utterly obsessed with each other to an unhealthy degree. Utter devotion to the point of insanity. To the point the lines blur as to what the nature of their relationship even is. Romantic? Platonic? Sexual? Familial? Professional? All and none of the above, somehow. They can’t exist without each other. Being together is making them both worse. They would watch each other sleep in bed at night every night if they could. They are literally always thinking about each other. They would kill and die for each other. They resent each other. Even seperating them isn't going to fix the situation at this point. They permanently live inside each other.

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a look inside of my brain

Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish Adam Parrish

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So many people who get periods are like “Ugh it sucks that having a menstrual cycle makes you almost die every month” like no that’s not normal you need to go to the doctor

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exactly!!! like you cannot compare ronans romantic love for adam to any other couple in the entire two series, nothing comes close!!!

i love Blue and Gansey so much but Adam really got the best partner of the whole series

like his bf isn't only hot-funny-and-millionarie but also a literal god who dreams magical and thoughtful gifts for him, looks like a bad boy but huge softie for him, never been with anyone but him, never uses the phone but always answers when he calls, has only ever had eyes for him since the moment he first saw him, and would prefer dying over hurting his delicate wrists even for a moment

and you know what? good for him, he deserves nothing less <3

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everyone talks about how in love Ronan is but was no one going to tell me how smitten Adam is in the dreamers trilogy???

"you smell like home"

"what's the face for?" "i want it too much"

"tell me to go to school closer to you and i will"

"i saved your life because i love you"

"i just want to know that when i come back for break, you'll be there"

driving a motorcycle for 8 hours while listening to his sociology notes to spend 3 hours with Ronan and then go back for his test the next day

"i need to take off your clothes"

"i'm coming back. be here for me"

"actual closeness and truth had been reserved for only one person"

"why does Adam keep trying to find you in the dreams?"

breaking up with him while being so gentle and making sure the strap of the watch wasn't too tight on Ronan's wrist and still saying tamquam alter idem

and then coming back to him RIGHT AWAY

"you were, like, the place i stored all the reality in"

scrying even though it's dangerous just because he misses Ronan

"Adam had come for him. all this way. he had not given up. he had risked everything"

"he couldn't talk himself out of it. he tried each night he was alone in the apartment over st. agnes, and he failed every time he saw Ronan again. he was in love with Ronan"

"i know i'm going, but i'll always come back, as long as you're here"

im sobbing

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Another twitter redraw

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this is ronan and adam

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what if your best friend was annoying. what if he took every opportunity he had to make fun of you. what if he kept trying to pick off your scabs even when you pushed him away. what if you caught him looking at your bruises for too long. what if he hated your girlfriend. what if your best friend took you to a magical place and spoke to the forest. what if you recognized his messy handwriting scratched into a boulder. what if he drove you home. and again. and again.

what if he lingered in the driveway too long and watched your father’s fist land. what if in the time it took you to fall and smash your head on the railing he was there. what if it took three cops to pull him off of your father. what if he snarled like a dog and the look in his eyes was wild but he still managed to check if you were okay while they shoved him in the back of the cop car. what if you finally told them the truth about your father to keep your best friend out of jail.

what if your best friend could take things out of his head and make them real. what if he almost never slept because he was afraid of what he would wake up with. what if your best friend went to mass every sunday to apologize to god and he told you the nuns had an apartment they would rent to you for cheap. what if it was cold and cramped and bare but for the first time you slept somewhere without fear. what if your best friend knocked on your door most nights and slept on your floor. what if you thought it was because he knew you kept a gun somewhere and you didn’t want to think about what else it might mean.

what if your best friend started hanging out with someone awful. what if he stayed out all night racing and drinking and doing god knows what with this guy. what if you wanted him dead. what if you had a hand in his death. what if you couldn’t bring yourself to feel bad about it because your best friend was safe sleeping on your floor again. what if your best friend asked you for help. what if he took you back to the church and you could just imagine him in there with his family before it broke. what if he closed his eyes and turned ideas tangible in one of the pews and you thought maybe there were two gods in this church. what if he looked at you like he thought there were three. what if the nightmares got him. what if your best friend bled out on the floor while you held him and panicked. what if you watched him take his last breath. what if you looked up and he was watching you cradle his head from where he sat on the altar. what if the scope of his power hit you just then. what if he told you to leave and you did. what if you let him dispose of his own corpse alone. what if you sat on your bed unable to stop thinking about the blood dripping from his mouth.

what if once you started noticing the curve of his lips and the cut of his cheekbones you couldn’t stop. what if you’d never truly felt safe in your life except when he was with you. what if your best friend was tall and strong and sharp and cruel and he made you smile like nobody else could. what if you were quiet and calculating but he made you loud and reckless. what if he radiated danger but you trusted no one else to walk behind you. what if everyone else kept forgetting which ear your father deafened you in but your best friend always remembered.

what if you went up to his childhood bedroom at the house where his father died and looked at all of his old things. what if you sat on his bed and thought about all the times he must have woken up staring death in the face. what if you looked up and he was standing in the doorway. what if he came over and sat beside you. what if there were bad memories here but also good ones. what if when he finally kissed you he did it slowly and carefully like he knew he was devilishly handsome at best and terrifying at worst. what if his big strong hands held you like he thought you might fall apart and you couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched you so softly. what if he left after that because he knew you would have a lot to think about. what if you went back to him that night and kissed him like you were starving for it. what if the second room you slept in without fear was also the second room your best friend had given you.

what if something demonic invaded your body. what if it used your eyes to spy and your hands to manipulate. what if the most important thing in the world was your autonomy. what if the demon knew it and made you sit helplessly as it stole it from you. what if it let you see just enough. what if your hands closed around your best friend’s throat and there was nothing you could do to stop them. what if you begged him to fight back. what if he just kept looking at you even as his lips turned blue. what if his hands still held you with love even while he was dying in yours.

what if the demon released you. what if you couldn’t stand by yourself. what if your best friend kept you up. what if you fell back against his chest and his arms kept you from falling and he whispered in your good ear something meant only for you and you gave in and began to cry. what if the bruises circled his neck for weeks. what if you could see the shape of your thumbs on his throat and couldn’t bear to look at it. what if you wouldn’t blame him if he never wanted you near him again. what if he kissed your fingers instead.

what if you thought you never wanted love or a home or a family. what if your best friend gave you all three. what if you woke up with his arms around you in the house where his father died and he made you breakfast and you laughed over coffee and his little girl gave you sticks and leaves and his bird gave you bottle caps. what if you wanted to go to college but you didn’t want to leave and he wanted you to go but he wanted you to stay. what if nobody had ever wanted you to stay before. what if you never thought you’d have anything worth coming home to. what if you never thought you’d call anywhere home. what if your best friend gave you an apartment. what if he gave you his home. what if he gave you his heart.

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ronan loves adam in a way that adam needed to continue living, adam could not do with a regular type of love, he needed something this OVERWHELMING

the craziest part abt the choice was between death or hurting adam which wasn't much of a choice at all quote is that it wasn't an "only one survives" situation. ronan wouldn't even be dying for adam or instead of adam. he is choosing DEATH over HURTING him. adam's life isn't at stake here, he is only potentially in danger of temporary(!!!) pain if ronan acts in self defense and that is enough for ronan to willingly sacrifice his entire life without an ounce of fight. usually when you think about dying for someone you love it's in terms of dying in their place, jumping in front of the blow and giving your life so that theirs can continue. but ronan, for adam who has already been hurt so much, would die for him before he ever became the one to raise a hand against him, to allow him to ever be hurt any further. not him for me. death for pain. that is an equal exchange to ronan so simple he doesn't even consider the alternative once. this fucking scene dude WHO ELSE has ever been in love like that EVER

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I WANT TO SOB SO BAD

bro throughout opal’s story i was like damn im kind of surprised ronan isnt more outwardly upset about adam leaving soon. like he was just being framed more chill about it than i would have expected. even internally. but then ronan made the comment about how all his dream creations are a part of him and i realized opal was literally screaming crying throwing up digging her hooves into adam about him leaving and i was like oh my god…. opal is the part of ronan that wants desperately for adam to stay…. im sick to my stomach

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this was my most favourite line to read, my brain stopped. if there is a sentence i want to read again for the first time in a book, it's this one

yeah cocaine sounds alright i guess but have you ever tried being a gay 14 year old reading this line for the first time

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just ronan and his AVERAGE love for adam, nothing INSANE

Reminder that the context for The choice was death or hurting Adam, which wasn’t much of a choice at all. was that Adam was possessed and strangling Ronan to death and Ronan didn't want to try and stop him in case he broke Adam's wrist because they felt fragile. He was happy to die so that he didn't accidentally break Adam's wrists. Wtf Ronan.

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