vintage-clown

[vintage-clown]

ugh come ON (emphatically getting up out of my chair to turn around with a grimace and put my head in my hands) dude you KNOW i've been such a good girl. don't fuck with me man i don't have time for this. just fuckin give me the kitty treat dude

[vintage-clown]

Spin this wheel and tell me if you got something you need/want.

[vintage-clown]

i hate people who know highways. “i’m heading south on I-65” okay man. i’m moving my rook to c2

[vintage-clown]

Sometimes I love the internet, actually. Incomprehensibly huge place but also so small. Saw a video on Instagram where Crayola was announcing they’re coming out with a box with some limited edition previously retired colors, including Dandelion. This video had hundreds of comments and almost all of them where “omg where’s the dandelion crayon girl she’s going to be so happy” and it was such an unimportant thing, but it was just cute

[vintage-clown]

Born to don't wanna. Forced to gotta

[vintage-clown]

Being ugly is not an excuse. Most people are ugly. I’ve fucked ugly people and they weren’t virgins. They were whores. All things considered there probably is someone 5 minutes away dying to fuck you.

[vintage-clown]

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

[vintage-clown]

they were so funny for this

[vintage-clown]

You cannot say that a top grossing artist is "feral" or making you "feral." You are listening to the Billboard Top 40. You are very domesticated.

[vintage-clown]

[vintage-clown]

uh hey that person you just reblogged from used to be in our discord server but we had to kick them out because they admitted to watching t*m and j*rry... that show features violence and as such glorifies it.... when we confronted them all they said was "wtf its a show about a cat and a mouse"... if you dont believe me theres a whole callout post that features their name age and street address so you can go to their house and check... anyways you should unfollow them before people start thinking you like problematic media too :/ just trying to help

[vintage-clown]

[vintage-clown]

A scallop hits da bricks. Filmed in Norway. From The Norwegian Fjords: Life in the Twilights (2018).

[vintage-clown]

[vintage-clown]

Red Fox (Vulpes vulpes)

Observed by irkuem, CC BY-NC

[vintage-clown]

it’s 2028. trump is dead. elon is dead. zuckerberg is dead bezos is dead they’re all dead

[vintage-clown]

oh you’re a fan of my blog? name five of my worst opinions