vicodinbottle - Tumblr blog

[vicodinbottle]

so many updates since my gay boy post update... he licks walls and has a fat cat and his favourite ice cream flavour is boysenberry and he takes shots like a champ and his favourite pokemon is vaporeon and i love him undoubtably more

[vicodinbottle]

thinking about gay gregory house

[vicodinbottle]

okay i don't think we're cooked he's texting like normal i'm gonna watch house to cope

hello all, my dad is drunk and helping me out with my love life. who wants deets.

ps i'm watching house

[vicodinbottle]

One note, I guess this is my calling to spill (instead of using a diary, for god's sake). Buckle up everybody!

Okay, so here I am. Happily hanging out in my room, like we all do. My dad, from down the hallway, is absolutely BLASTING Travis Scott through the house (mind you, it's 11PM). We'd just had a man to man chat about how life has been, how i'm really doing, and I decide to tell him about this boy I like.

The moment I let these words escape my mouth, I see the cogs turning in his head.

After managing to get through half of utopia, I hear his chuckle down the hall. I can just picture his cheeky grin, and his hands doing the things flies do because he's just mischievous like that. Low key silly.

I hear a knock on the door.

I know he has an idea, and I know I'm not getting out of this one.

He comes in, wine bottle in hand, his bald head shining with all its might. Motioning for me to pull out my phone, he asks me if I have the number of said boy (which is a stupid question, I am undoubtably in love with this boy).

With a firm yes, he tells me to call him and say nothing. Nothing at all.

I say "but dad, he wouldn't pick up, he just finished his show" (theatre, head over heels), and he replies "when did he last text you?"

He got me there. Less than 30 seconds ago.

I call him, dead silent on my end. Ring, ring, ring...

No answer.

Head in my hands, I tell my dad how stupid this whole idea is. I'm being risky, I'm being impertinent, I'm being crude.

Then he hits me with "Do you think I ever picked up anybody by being the same as everybody else? Just ring the goddamn phone again!"

I ring again. Ring, ring, ring...

"Hello? Are you okay?"

I'm dead silent. Dead. Silent.

My dad responds.

"Hey kid, I've lost my son, but I found his phone and your contact was the top contact on it..."

Meanwhile I'm here GIGGLING AND LAUGHING MY ASS OFF because all I can ever do is giggle and laugh my ass off.

The boy laughs along, he's amused.

Dad's pissing himself, "yeah, we were just about to call the police, we're really worried LOL."

That's when unnamed boy LAUGHS HIS ASS OFF, and dad reveals it's all a joke, and I proceed to howl like a fucking HYENA.

Dad finishes it off by introducing himself and making him promise to come on a camping trip with us the next time we're out camping.

We talk for a little after dad leaves the room and he says he loves my dad. SUCCESS!

After I hang up, dad walks back in. He's back with a bigger and better plan, supposedly.

He says to me, "Text him. Say that you have an idea, and say nothing more."

I agree, because me and him, we are so silly and I've already once tried to get him to go on a birthday adventure (planned out a whole night but he was BUSY and wouldn't have been able to make it even if he wanted to), so this behaviour of unpredictability isn't unusual.

He responds that he's scared. Bingo. Fun time (shitting bricks).

Dad is guiding me through this whole thing, he's like, "Say that 'This isn't scary, it's an adventure...' or something like that. Just do NOT tell him your plans. NEVER."

So I tell him I've got an adventure planned.

He's super busy, as I'd assumed (exams, birthdays, general life stuff), and dad tells me to just say that I "Only need five hours".

So... technical? So... sillay?

I say I need five hours undisturbed. He's so confused, he thinks I'm planning to flay him or something, and I'm like "Dad. I can't leave him in the dark like this." but dad doubles down and says "YOU CANNOT TELL HIM YOUR PLANS!"

OKAY. So secret keeping time it is.

He asks again for plans. Here's where I fumble, here's where I wished dad had let me think a second longer. I reply "okay so food talking life".

NO GRAMMAR NO SILLY PUNS NO WORDPLAY NO FUN NOTHING. FUMBLED.

My head is once again in my hands, and I repeat to dad that "this is SO stupid" and that "I should NEVER have done this". This is purely theatrical (I was freaking the FUCK OUT).

Dad says "You think he'd keep responding if he wasn't interested?" YES DAD!?!??! WE'RE BEST FRIENDS!?!??! MAYBE HE'S A LITTLE WORRIED FOR HIS WELLBEING AND MY PSYCHE AFTER THIS!?!?!?

I reiterate I need five hours. He's not satisfied. He wants details.

Dad tells me to give in.

I say, and I quote "i just want to hang out with you for a day".

I DELIBERATED THAT MESSAGE FOR MINUTES. IS IT TOO AGRESSIVE?? DOES IT REEK OF MY DADS WINE???? AM I BEING WEIRD????? HAVE I FUMBLED AGAIN????? OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD I HATE THIS STUPID GAY LIFE.

He replies "Oh Sure LOL".

Fumbled.

Over.

He says he's excited for it. I say don't let me down. He hearts the message.

HAVE I FUMBLED GUYS. HAVE I FUMBLED. PLEASE GOD. PLEASE. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

Anyways long story short my dad is a bald goofball and I love him and this boy to bits and my dad spent two hours drilling into my head that I have to be nonchalant and cool.

hello all, my dad is drunk and helping me out with my love life. who wants deets.

ps i'm watching house

[vicodinbottle]

hello all, my dad is drunk and helping me out with my love life. who wants deets.

ps i'm watching house

[vicodinbottle]

he barked. out loud in the middle of a public hospital. at his boss

[vicodinbottle]

i can't vibe with anyone who thinks icarus was an ignorant idiot for flying too close to the sun. "oh i'd never do that i would have remembered my father's warning and been fine". do you seriously think that after years of imprisonment, feeling the sun on your face and the open air beneath your wings, you would be able to focus on anything but the joy of being alive and free? do you actually think that if you were given the opportunity to go where nobody has never been before, you wouldn't want to push it to the limit? to dare to be the first to try what no one else has ever even thought possible? do you honestly think you're too good for your own human nature? look me in the eyes and tell me if i strapped a pair of wings to your back that could take you wherever you wanted to go whenever you pleased that you'd be careful and sensible about it. you are not better than icarus just because you have the benefit of his example.

[vicodinbottle]

he is literally God to them.

[vicodinbottle]

this fucking show

[House M.D. S3 E19 - Act Your Age]

[vicodinbottle]

FIVE FINALLY GOT HIS HUG !!!!!!!

[vicodinbottle]

YOU PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND-

HOUSE IS AUTISTIC.

They acknowledge it in S3 E4. Wilson heavily suggests to Cuddy that House has Asperger syndrome, but they decide that he can't possibly because he's just a jerk.

Let autistic people be jerks. Let autistic people be assholes WITHOUT USING AUTISM AS AN EXCUSE. IM AN ASSHOLE SOMETIMES. NOT BECAUSE IM AUTISTIC, IM JUST A PRICK. Yes I understand that one of the reasons for him being such a dickhead is because of his leg, he's in pain all the time. But thats even more of a reason to believe that it is a separate issue.

They say that he wants to relate to the kid because then he can get away with being a dick, but he does relate to the kid. He hates change, he thrives on consistency, he needs stimulation or he gets bored and frustrated, he isolates himself- and when he does have to interact, it's with the same people he sees everyday.

House can be autistic AND an asshole. Those two things do not cancel each other out.

(Edit: as a disabled autistic person, I see myself in House in ways that I never have in canonically autistic characters. I am aware it's never confirmed in the show. I am aware that not everyone agrees with this headcanon, and genuinely that is all it is, a headcanon. I'm not Hugh Laurie. This was just a rant about how House is treated while showing, what I and many other people, including characters inside the show, view as symptoms of ASD or other such disorders. I apologise if it came across as lying or spreading false information.)

[vicodinbottle]

more mouse bites... (ibispaint study i did with house :3)

[vicodinbottle]

this is the closest thing we get to house having religion. and by god, if he isn't devout

[vicodinbottle]

hey guys what ht eufkc is goin on in this episode

[vicodinbottle]

House: You eat neediness. Wilson: Lucky for you.

[vicodinbottle]

hi all again.

i actually can't survive without house. i started this without any consideration toward such a beastly show but i actually. can't stop. it never stops. it's never over.

my internal monologue sounds like house.

the angel on my shoulder sounds like wilson.

the bargaining devil sounds like cameron and chase and foreman.

this is actively killing me but i like to call it enrichment.

[vicodinbottle]

i missed you guys