veese-gorbins - Tumblr blog

[veese-gorbins]

So how do rationality and virtue contribute to a greater life? One has to consider their current life. For me, I feel a never-ending aura of guilt clinging to every inch of me. I bathe and it does nothing, I breathe and I choke on it, I sleep and I wake to it thicker than before. This aura originates from the universe and its natural flow of random chance. I was born in a good house to a family. Many, many others weren’t. It is no one’s fault that I can live well while others suffer. Unfortunately, it is no one but myself who is at fault when I suffer. When I can’t bear to go through the motions of living, when all I want to do is turn to dust and be taken by the wind, it is my own fault for feeling this. The feelings and thoughts are encouraged by many different factors, so many that it is impossible to pin down even a few origins, and only a handful of which I have a say over. It is a complicated, disgusting world we live in. It is permanently marred by the ones who hide themselves, and the rest are left to deal with the apocalyptic fallout.

Children should not have to live here.

Good people should not have to suffer.

Selfishly, I should not have to suffer.

The only plan of action I have is a long one. I am stuck at the beginning. I have to keep going. I am exhausted and I have so much more work to come. I need to change something, anything that will let me see through this smog. I cannot live the rest of my life here. I cannot let others live the rest of their life here. 

I’m insignificant now and I can’t bring myself to relish in it. The idea of being unknown. Peace, rest, and simple work. I don’t appreciate it now. I don’t know how to appreciate it. Everything feels so loud.

[veese-gorbins]

I wonder how close we are. I wonder if she knew. She won't wonder if I know, if there is anything to know. I miss my ghosts.

Jules Bastien-Lepage, Joan of Arc, 1879.

[veese-gorbins]

Medical School

The human body is so beautiful in its form and efficiency. It takes so much money and an ungodly workload to be able to study and help it. What to do about this. . .

[veese-gorbins]

How do I define self-cafe?

Hitting my vape

[veese-gorbins]

What is your party trick?

Being complicated and confusing. Maybe starting a fight.