vantxx95
It's okay to shed the tears But don't you tear yourself
2K posts
hey!! i am Dee ☁️ARMY/MOA/CZENNIE/ENGENE / 2003
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vantxx95 · 13 days ago
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NUMBER ONE GIRL | LEE HEESEUNG SMAU
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PAIRING: singer!heeseung x singer!yn (femreader)
SYNOPSIS: in which your breakup album forces heeseung to face what he did to you.
GENRE: exes au, angst
MESSAGE FROM NIC: inspired by ms rosie posie's amazing album. not sure where this is gonna go this is purely going off of vibes, hope yall enjoy!!
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vantxx95 · 13 days ago
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ʬʬ. ! I WISH I HATED YOU : PARK SUNGHOON ── 𝗌𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗎𝗍𝖾𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗏𝖾𝗇 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖾𝗇𝖾𝗆𝗒, 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗄 𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗇
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frat boy!sunghoon ੭୧ fem!reader :( 𝓯 ) 1OOOwc. ── partying, drinking, kissing, lots of bickering, slightly suggestive && ⠀ 。。 ARCHiVE ꒰˵ˊᯅˋ˵꒱
DANiELLE : happy sunghoon day ! also for my jenni bby (> <)
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FRAT PARTIES WEREN'T YOUR THING. the sticky floors, the overwhelming smell of cheap cologne, stale beer, and bad decisions hanging in the air—none of it appealed to you. but chaewon had begged. your best friend had pleaded, promising it would be fun, and somehow, you’d caved.
what chaewon didn’t mention was that he would be here.
park sunghoon. resident frat golden boy, heartbreaker, and the bane of your existence.
you spotted him across the room almost immediately. he was impossible to miss, surrounded by a group of people laughing at whatever cocky thing he was saying. his dark hair fell perfectly into place, framing his annoyingly handsome face. he exuded that careless charm that made everyone fawn over him, and you hated how attractive he was.
as if sensing your glare, his gaze flicked to yours, and the smirk that tugged at his lips made your stomach twist in irritation.
you turned away quickly, pushing through the crowd to find the kitchen. maybe a drink would help.
but, of course, fate wasn’t on your side tonight.
“what are you doing here?”
the familiar, infuriating voice made you groan before you even turned around. there he was, leaning casually against the counter, holding a red solo cup like it was an accessory to his smirk.
“getting a drink,” you said flatly, reaching for the vodka. “is that a problem?”
“not at all.” he leaned closer, and his cologne—woodsy, expensive—clouded your senses. “just surprised you’re here. thought frat parties weren’t your scene.”
“they’re not.” you poured your drink and stepped away.
“then why come?”
“because chaewon begged me.”
he chuckled. “and here i thought you came to see me.”
you rolled your eyes, lifting your cup to your lips. “you really think everything’s about you, don’t you?”
“not everything.” he grinned, watching you with an irritatingly amused expression. “just most things.”
you opened your mouth to snap back, but chaewon appeared out of nowhere, grabbing your arm.
“there you are!” she beamed, blissfully ignoring sunghoon’s presence. “we’re playing seven minutes in heaven. come on!”
“no way.” you shook your head, already backing away.
“yes way!” she tugged on your arm. “it’ll be fun. stop being boring.”
before you could argue, chaewon dragged you toward the living room, where a circle had already formed around a bottle in the center.
“this is a bad idea,” you muttered, sitting reluctantly beside her.
chaewon grinned. “it’s just a game. what’s the worst that could happen?”
you didn’t have time to answer because sunghoon sauntered into the circle, taking a seat directly across from you. his smirk widened as his eyes met yours.
“great,” you muttered.
“you love having me around,” he teased.
“like a headache,” you shot back.
the bottle was spun. it clattered loudly against the hardwood floor, spinning so fast that the faces around it blurred. your heart pounded irrationally as it slowed—click, click, click—until it stopped.
pointing directly at you.
and sunghoon.
the room erupted into cheers and whistles.
“absolutely not,” you said, already standing.
“rules are rules!” chaewon said, grabbing your shoulders and pushing you back down.
before you could protest further, chaewon grinned devilishly and shoved you toward the nearest closet.
“chaewon, I swear—”
the door slammed shut behind you, cutting off your protest.
you turned around, and there he was, standing way too close for comfort in the dimly lit, cramped space.
“this is your fault,” you hissed, crossing your arms.
“mine?” sunghoon raised an eyebrow, amused. “you could’ve said no.”
“i did say no.”
he shrugged, leaning casually against the wall. “well, we’re here now. might as well make the most of it.”
“you’re impossible.”
he stepped closer, and you backed up instinctively, your shoulders hitting the wall.
“relax,” he said, voice low, teasing. “what, you think I’m gonna try something?”
“you always try something.”
he smirked, taking another step forward. “only because it’s fun to watch you get all flustered.”
“i am not flustered,” you snapped, even though your heart was racing.
“sure you’re not.” his eyes flicked down to your lips, lingering just long enough to make your cheeks burn.
“don’t even think about it,” you warned.
“why not?” his voice was softer now, the teasing edge giving way to something heavier. “afraid you might like it?”
“you’re unbelievable.”
he chuckled, but his hands moved to the wall on either side of your head, caging you in. “say the word, and i’ll back off.”
your breath caught, heat prickling at the back of your neck.
you should tell him to back off. you should push him away. but instead, you grabbed his shirt, yanking him down to crash your lips against his.
the kiss was fiery, chaotic, and everything you hated to admit you’d wanted. his hands slid to your waist, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you.
his fingers tightened slightly, thumb brushing the sliver of skin exposed by your top. it sent a shiver down your spine, and you hated how easily he unraveled you.
he tilted his head, deepening the kiss, and his teeth grazed your bottom lip, making your knees weak.
you gasped softly, and he smirked against your mouth, the bastard.
“still hate me?” he murmured, voice low and breathless.
you shoved his chest—half to steady yourself, half because his smugness was unbearable. “yes. more than ever.”
he grinned, leaning down as if to kiss you again. “funny. didn’t feel like it.”
outside, the muffled sound of someone banging on the door broke the moment.
“time’s up!”
sunghoon groaned, his forehead pressing against yours for a beat before he pulled back, his hands lingering at your waist.
“guess we’ll have to finish this later,” he said, voice dripping with confidence.
you glared at him, cheeks burning, and shoved him again.
“dream on, park.”
but as you stepped out of the closet, chaewon’s knowing grin waiting for you, and the taste of his kiss still lingering on your lips, you couldn’t shake the sinking realization that maybe—just maybe—you didn’t hate him as much as you thought.
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vantxx95 · 13 days ago
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❀ DEFINITELY NOT MY CROWD.
pairing. frat!jungwon x shy!fem!reader
genre. romcom, american college au, strangers to enemies to lovers (bye??), angst, fluff, mature
synopsis. when your friend drags you out to a frat party a week before the holidays, you didn’t expect to fall into the graces of yang jungwon, one of the fraternity boys at your university. One accidental kiss with Yang Jungwon and a viral post later, you wake up to a text from your sister: “Bring your new boyfriend to Christmas dinner!” Now, you’ve got one week to turn this chaos into a holiday miracle—or a romcom disaster.
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“Hey, wake up.”
Madeleine taps on your shoulder, and when you only respond with a mhmm, she takes both shoulders and shakes you violently.
“What the hell Mads!” You say, getting up in a hurry. “What can you possibly need now?”
“Oh shut up, you’re making it sound like you despise me.” She throws an arm around your shoulder. “Will you come with me to Luca’s party?”
“You know I don’t do frat parties.” You say, already brushing off her suggestion. “They’re just loud and people make out in every corner.”
“But you never go out!” Madeleine slumps her body against yours, practically trapping you on your own bed. “Please.”
“Mads I love you, but no.”
Except here you were, in front of Alpha Delta something—was it Alpha Delta Pi? You didn’t know.
All you knew was that the music was way too loud for it not to have a noise complaint from the neighboring houses, and that there were too many drunk college students stumbling everywhere on the grass out front.
“I’m soooo glad we decided to do this!” Madeleine swings her arms around your shoulder, leading you inside the gigantic frat house.
“Madeleine!” A guy comes up to the two of you, his cheeky smile never leaving his face. “And who’s this?”
“Y/N, my roommate I told you about!” Madeleine smiles at you, “you remember Will right? From Econ?”
Will. Will. You’re trying so hard to remember him, until you realize he’s the blonde in front of you, his hockey gear always taking up half of the space.
“This is my girlfriend, Kallie!” Will puts his arm around the girl next to him. “Well it’s nice seeing you Madeleine and Y/N, have a good night!”
Even though he was notoriously loud in class, he was a bit of a sweetheart, and it made you feel a bit better about being here.
“See, that wasn’t so bad right?”
You nod, letting her guide you throughout the house to the kitchen.
“Do you want Pink Whitney or Tequila?”
You decided on Pink Whitney.
“Oh shit—I’m so sorry.” The guy who bumps into you turns around, his pupils dilated and red. He’s clearly very drunk.
“It’s fine.”
“I’m Jungwon!” He smiles at you brightly, dimples showing ever so proudly.
It seemed like everybody at this party was all about smiling tonight.
“Oh Won! You’re here!” Madeleine slides you your shot, and you down it in one go, silently cursing yourself for not taking a chaser beforehand.
“Yep, kinda have to because this is my frat.”
Now that he’s not stumbling over his own foot, you come to realize he’s actually pretty cute. His brown hair is messy and he’s wearing some plain navy blue hoodie that makes him look more attractive than he actually should be.
“This is Y/N, my roommate!”
Jungwon slips his hand into yours, shaking it in a hurry. “Nice to meet you Y/N, wish it was under better circumstances.”
His joke earns a playful shove from Madeleine, who raises her eyebrows at you, already hinting that you should talk to the boy.
“Well I gotta go talk to Luca, catch you two later!”
You don’t have time to pull Madeleine back because she’s already gone, leaving you alone with Jungwon.
“Hey.” He says, now suddenly closer to you. “Wanna kiss?”
It’s a straightforward almost humorous ask, one that a stranger who’s just known you for five minutes shouldn’t ask. But because the alcohol already entered your system and you have nothing better to do; you nod.
Jungwon leaves no time for you to take a breath before sweeping in, closing the gap between yours and his mouth. You can hear hoots from his frat brothers as the kiss grows more intense.
You’re sure you’ve become the very same people that you used to make fun of—the ones who would make out at the corner of parties and act like they had no decency or self respect.
But who cares, right? This was the one time you were out, and finals had been stressing you like a pounding headache, why would a kiss from some random frat guy affect you after the party?
You were clearly very wrong.
-
The next day, you’re awaken to your annoying alarm clock, groaning as you tap aggressively on the snooze button.
“Oh shit,” you say, feeling lightheaded when you try to get up. “What time is it?”
From the corner of your eye, you can see Madeleine’s blonde hair spread out on every part of her bed, her limbs tangled in her blankets.
You try to rub your eyes as you reach for your phone, and when your vision clears, the first thing you do is let out a shrilling scream.
“WHAT THE FUCK?”
“What? What’s wrong?” Madeleine’s head pops up, her hair messy and all over her face.
Madeleine stares at you groggily as you toss your phone at her. She fumbles to catch it, squinting at the screen before her eyes widen.
She slaps a hand over her mouth, though the giggles that escape are anything but subtle.
"Why is there a video of me kissing Jungwon everywhere?!" You groan, flopping back on your bed as the stress headache from finals makes a sudden comeback.
"It's not just a video," Madeleine says, scrolling furiously. "You and Jungwon are, like, the new talk of the frat. You know how frat boys are like. The sorority girls might even be jealous."
"I'm going to die," you mutter into your pillow.
"You are not going to die, Y/N."
You groan, yanking the pillow off your face just as your phone vibrates again. Madeleine hands it back to you, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
You don't even have to check the screen to know who's texted you. You sigh and unlock it.
[annoying older sis]: Bring your new boyfriend to Christmas dinner. I’m serious. Mom’s already setting the table for him.
You sit up so fast you almost get whiplash.
"No. Nope. No way. This cannot be happening." You turn to Madeleine, holding your phone out like it’s cursed. "My family thinks Jungwon’s my boyfriend. What am I supposed to do now?!"
"Bring him!" Madeleine chirps, far too enthusiastic for this godforsaken situation.
"Are you insane? I barely know him! He’s probably already forgotten who I am."
As if the universe is mocking you, your phone buzzes again.
[Unknown Number]: Hey, it’s Jungwon. Can we talk?
You stare at the screen, heat rushing to your face.
"Is that him?" Madeleine practically screeches, leaning over to read the text. "Oh my god, Y/N, he’s texting you first. This is fate!"
"Shut up!" you hiss, pushing her away as you type back:
Sure. Where?
The response is almost instant.
[Jungwon]: Can you meet me at the campus café in an hour?
Madeleine screeches in excitement yet again.
-
An hour later, you’re already regretting your life choices as you walk into the café, spotting Jungwon sitting at a table near the window. His hoodie from last night is gone, replaced with a clean black sweater that somehow makes him look even more attractive.
When he sees you, he grins, those stupid dimples making your stomach flip for reasons you refuse to acknowledge.
"Hey," he says as you sit down across from him, awkwardly tucking your hair behind your ear.
"Hey," you reply, wondering if it’s possible to combust from secondhand embarrassment.
"So, uh…" Jungwon rubs the back of his neck, looking almost as nervous as you feel. "About last night…"
You brace yourself for him to tell you he doesn’t want anything to do with you, that the kiss was a mistake, and you should forget it ever happened.
But then he says: "I wanted to apologize. I don’t usually, like, kiss random strangers at parties. I was kinda drunk, and I just… yeah, sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
You blink, caught off guard by how genuine he sounds. "Oh, um, it’s okay. I mean, it wasn’t terrible or anything."
Jungwon raises an eyebrow, his lips twitching like he’s trying not to laugh. "Wow. 'Not terrible.' High praise."
You groan, covering your face with your hands. "Sorry. I’m awkward and shy and bad at this."
"I noticed," he says with a chuckle.
When you peek through your fingers, you find him smiling softly at you, his eyes warm and kind.
"Anyway," you say quickly, dropping your hands. "I’m sure you’ve seen the video by now."
"Yeah," he admits, rubbing the back of his neck again. "That’s actually why I wanted to talk to you. People are, uh, kinda freaking out about it. And my fraternity brothers keep calling you my girlfriend."
"Funny you should mention that," you say with a dry laugh. "My family thinks you’re my boyfriend too. My sister wants me to bring you to Christmas dinner."
His eyes widen. "Wait, seriously?"
"Yeah. And I don’t know how to tell them the truth without ruining Christmas, so I was thinking…"
"You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend?" he finishes, tilting his head.
"Just for a week!" you say quickly, holding up your hands. "We get through Christmas, and then we go our separate ways. No one has to know it wasn’t real."
Jungwon looks at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable.
Finally, he says, "Okay. I’ll do it."
You blink. "Wait, really?"
"Sure," he says with a shrug. "It sounds kinda fun. And honestly…" He leans forward, his voice dropping to a soft, almost teasing tone. "I need to get out of my frat house. They have yet to let me live down this moment."
Your face flushes, and you look away, muttering, "Frat guys are ridiculous."
"Maybe," he says, grinning.
This was going to be a disaster. You could already feel it.
-
The rest of the week feels like a blur of planning. Between texting Jungwon to coordinate your "backstory" and surviving Madeleine’s endless teasing, you barely have time to process what’s happening.
"How do we even explain how we met?" you ask Jungwon during one of your brainstorming sessions at the campus library.
"We could just tell the truth," he says, leaning back in his chair. "That we kissed at a party."
You give him a look. "Do you want my family to hate you?"
"Fair point," he laughs. "Okay, how about we say we met through Madeleine and just… hit it off?"
"Sounds fake but okay."
You decide to meet again the next day after class to properly establish some backstory for your "relationship." Jungwon shows up late, looking like he just rolled out of bed.
"Nice of you to show up," you say sarcastically, already in a foul mood from a pop quiz from your professor.
"Sorry, I was busy," he says, completely unbothered.
"Doing what? Beer pong practice?"
"Actually, yes," he says, grinning. "Gotta keep the skills sharp."
You groan. "Unbelievable. How am I supposed to convince my family you’re my boyfriend when you’re this… this frat boy?"
"Hey, being a frat boy isn’t a personality flaw," he says, feigning offense. "Besides, you’re the one who dragged me into this. If you wanted someone polished, you should’ve asked that guy from your bio class—what’s his name? Eric?"
"First of all, Eric has a girlfriend," you retort. "Second, I didn’t drag you into this. Madeleine did."
"Same difference," he says with a shrug.
You glare at him, but he just smiles, annoyingly relaxed.
This was going to be a long week.
-
You figure a visit to the Christmas market downtown might help you get some convincing couple photos. But of course, Jungwon treats the whole thing like a joke.
"Hold still," you say, holding up your phone.
Jungwon drapes an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer than necessary. "Come on, you gotta sell it, Y/N. Look like you’re in love with me."
You shove his arm off. "I can’t do that when you’re being this insufferable."
"Insufferable?" he repeats, feigning offense. "You wound me."
"You’ll live," you mutter, snapping a photo.
He peers over your shoulder at the screen. "That’s terrible. Here, let me."
Before you can protest, he takes your phone, tilts his head toward yours, and snaps a selfie. To your annoyance, it actually looks good.
"There," he says, handing the phone back to you. "You’re welcome."
You stare at the photo, trying not to notice how natural the two of you look together. "You’re so annoying."
"And yet, here we are," he says with a grin.
“Whatever.”
-
"Why do we need so much food?" Jungwon complains, trailing behind you as you push a cart through the grocery store.
"Because my family eats a lot," you say, scanning the shelves for the specific brand of cranberry sauce your mom insists on.
He picks up a box of gingerbread cookies and examines it. "Why don’t we just bring these? No one’s gonna care."
"Are you serious?" you ask, snatching the box out of his hands. "We’re not showing up with store-bought cookies. My mom would have a heart attack."
"Wow," he says, leaning against the cart. "You’re really committed to this whole 'perfect daughter' thing, huh?"
You glare at him. "Unlike you, I actually care what my family thinks."
"Touché," he says, holding up his hands in surrender. "But for the record, I think your mom would survive."
You ignore him and toss the cookies back on the shelf.
Later that night, after spending hours wrapping presents, you find Jungwon lounging on the couch in your apartment, scrolling through his phone.
"Do you ever do anything productive?" you ask, flopping down next to him.
"Define 'productive,'" he says without looking up.
"I don’t know. Something that doesn’t involve your phone or beer pong."
He smirks. "You’re obsessed with beer pong. Did someone beat you at it once or something?"
"No," you say defensively. "I just think it’s a ridiculous way to spend your time."
"Noted," he says, finally putting his phone down. "So what do you do for fun, Miss Holier-Than-Thou?"
"I read. I bake. I actually contribute to society," you say with a smug smile.
"Wow. Thrilling," he says, but there’s a teasing glint in his eye.
You roll your eyes, but before you can respond, he leans his head back against the couch and lets out a deep sigh.
"Okay, seriously, though," he says. "Are you nervous about tomorrow?"
"A little," you admit. "My family can be… a lot."
"I’ll survive," he says, turning to look at you. "But what about you? Are you gonna be okay?"
The sincerity in his voice catches you off guard. For once, he’s not teasing or joking. He’s just… Jungwon.
"Yeah," you say softly. "I think so."
"Good," he says, smiling at you. "Because no matter how terrible this dinner is, I’ve got your back."
And just like that, the walls you’ve been trying so hard to keep up start to crack.
-
By the time Christmas Eve rolls around, you’re a ball of nerves. Jungwon picks you up in his car, looking annoyingly calm and way too good in a dark green sweater and tailored coat.
"You ready?" he asks as you slide into the passenger seat.
"Absolutely not," you reply, clutching the tin of cookies you baked as a distraction the night before.
"You’ll be fine," he says, flashing you that same dimpled smile that’s starting to become your undoing.
The moment you walk through your parents’ front door, you’re greeted by your sister, Addison.
"There she is!" Addison exclaims, pulling you into a tight hug that feels more like a performance for whoever might be watching. "And this must be Jungwon!"
Jungwon smiles politely, shaking her hand. "Nice to meet you."
Addison looks him up and down, her perfectly manicured nails tapping against her champagne glass. "Wow. Y/N really outdid herself this time."
You resist the urge to roll your eyes. Your older sister has always had a way of making everything about her, even when it’s not supposed to be.
"Where’s Mom?" you ask, desperate to change the subject.
"In the kitchen,"s she says, waving a dismissive hand. "But don’t worry about that. We need to get a picture of the happy couple for Instagram."
Before you can protest, Addison drags you and Jungwon to the living room, posing you in front of the tree like a pair of dolls.
"Smile!" she says, her phone already snapping away.
Jungwon leans in closer, his arm sliding around your waist like it’s the most natural thing in the world. You stiffen for a moment before forcing a smile, trying not to think about how warm he feels.
"Perfect," Addison says, scrolling through the photos with a self-satisfied smirk.
Dinner is somehow both better and worse than you expected.
Your mom keeps asking Jungwon about his family, his major, and his plans after graduation, while your dad mostly nods approvingly between bites of turkey.
Your sister, however, spends the entire meal subtly (and not-so-subtly) comparing everything you’ve ever done to her own achievements.
"Oh, you’re studying business, Jungwon? That’s cute. My fiancé, Ryan, just got promoted to VP at his firm," she says with a laugh that grates on your nerves.
"That’s impressive," Jungwon says politely, but you can tell he’s unimpressed.
"And Y/N," Addison continues, turning her attention to you. "It’s so nice to see you with someone. I was starting to think you’d be single forever."
The table goes silent. Your mom tries to awkwardly steer the conversation elsewhere, but the damage is done. You feel your cheeks burn, and you suddenly lose your appetite.
After dinner, you excuse yourself, slipping out onto the back porch to get some air. The cold bites at your skin, but you don’t care. You just need a moment to breathe.
You’re staring at the snow-covered yard when the door creaks open behind you.
"Hey," Jungwon says softly, stepping outside. He shrugs off his coat and drapes it over your shoulders before you can protest.
"Thanks," you mumble, pulling the coat tighter around you.
"You okay?" he asks, leaning against the railing beside you.
"I’m fine," you lie, though your voice cracks on the last word.
Jungwon gives you a look, the kind that makes you feel like he can see right through you.
"She always does this," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "Addison. The perfect sister who has to be better at everything."
"You’re not supposed to do that, you know," he says lightly, gesturing towards your cigarette.
You roll your eyes and lean against the railing, lighting it with a practiced flick of your lighter. "I don’t. I barely smoke. But, you know, desperate times…"
Jungwon chuckles, his breath fogging in the cold air. "I get it."
You exhale, the smoke curls around you, rising into the frosty night. "She just knows how to get under my skin. It’s like she’s made a career out of it."
Jungwon leans next to you, resting his elbows on the railing. "I don’t know. Sounds like she’s just jealous."
You laugh humorlessly. "Of what?"
"Of you," he says simply.
You blink at him, caught off guard. "Are you serious?"
"Completely." He reaches over and plucks the cigarette from your fingers, taking an awkward, experimental puff before immediately coughing.
You burst out laughing as he doubles over, waving a hand in front of his face. "What—what are you doing?"
"Trying to figure out what the big deal is," he says between coughs, his cheeks turning pink—though whether it’s from the cold or his failed attempt at smoking, you’re not sure.
"You don’t have to join me, you know," you tease, taking it back from him.
He straightens up, giving you a sheepish grin. "I just wanted to see what you like about it."
"It’s not about liking it," you admit, tapping the ash against the railing. "It’s more—I don’t know. It gives me something to do when I feel like falling apart."
Jungwon is quiet for a moment, watching the snow-covered yard below. Then he says, "You don’t need this."
You glance at him, surprised by the softness in his tone.
"You could just… talk to me instead,” he says, his eyes meeting yours.
Your heart does that annoying flip thing again, and you quickly look away. "Talking doesn’t solve everything, you know."
"No, but it helps." He pauses, then adds with a teasing smile, "And it’s probably better for your lungs."
You roll your eyes but can’t help smiling. "Fine. Next time, I’ll talk to you."
"Good."
The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the kind that feels rare and precious. The cigarette burns down to a stub, and you flick it into the snow, watching the ember fade out.
His presence is warm and steady, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you don’t feel so overwhelmed.
"Thanks." You say softly. "For agreeing to this. I don't even know what I was thinking suggesting it. Addison just texted me and I freaked. I guess there was always a part of me that wanted to impress her."
Jungwon hesitates for a moment, then says, "You know, you don’t give yourself enough credit."
You glance at him, frowning. "What do you mean?"
"I mean—you let people like Addison make you feel small, but you’re not. You’re kind, and funny, and you care about people. That’s more than most people can say."
You stare at him, your throat tightening. "Why are you saying this?"
"Because it’s true," he says, his voice soft but certain.
You shake your head, looking down at your hands. "You don’t even know me that well."
"I know enough," he says.
There’s a long pause, and then, almost too quietly to hear, he adds, "I love you."
Your head snaps up, your heart pounding in your chest. "What?"
"I love you," he repeats, looking right at you.
"You’re insane." You say, voice barely above a whisper. "You’ve known me for a week. I'm awkward and I wouldn't make a good girlfriend. You'd be ashamed of me, you know."
"I love you, Y/N."
You're not too sure what to say, not expecting him to stand his ground so firmly.
"I didn’t expect this to happen. I thought this would just be some silly, fake thing. I don’t care if you think you’re awkward or shy or anything else. I love you exactly the way you are."
You take a shaky breath, your chest tight with emotions you don’t know how to name.
"I don’t know what to say," you admit.
"You don’t have to say anything," he says gently.
You nod, your heart still racing as he steps back inside, leaving you alone with the snow and the stars and the weight of his words.
For a moment, all you can do is stare at him, his cheeks pink from the cold, his eyes full of warmth and sincerity.
And then, before you can overthink it, you rise on your tiptoes and kiss him.
This time, it’s not for show. It’s not for anyone else.
It’s just for you.
2K notes · View notes
vantxx95 · 13 days ago
Text
but daddy i love him | 𝐬𝐣𝐲
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୨୧ pairing: sim (jake) jaeyun x fem!reader ୨୧ word count: 10.2k ୨୧ genre: fluff, angst, smut ୨୧ tags: badboy!au, innocent!reader, opposites attract, sexual tension, corruption kink, dirty talk, fingering, oral (m + f receiving), 69, pet names (baby, angel, etc.), face sitting, protected sex. ୨୧ synopsis: Just because there's a new and seemingly bad influence in your small town, it doesn't mean you have to fall privy to his charms, no matter how beautiful he is. But when he takes notice of you, none of the gossiping wine moms can stop him from getting what he wants. ➸ shoutout to @kwanisms and @mini-mews for helping this fic come to fruition, ily guys sm and this is genuinely one of my favorite pieces ive ever written aaa.
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“Have you heard about the new family who moved into town? The son is a real piece of work!”
“He’s twenty-one but acts like he’s still sixteen on that damn motorcycle. No class or consideration whatsoever!”
“Maybe they’ll keep him in check if they decide to come to church this weekend. You know Reverend Park has no time for miscreants and delinquents.”
The familiar crowd on your mother’s front porch greets you as you’re attempting to exit the house. They cool themselves off with their makeshift fans and drink your mother’s homemade lemonade in the Saturday sun, continuing to harp on the locals in town that they’ve known for years.
Somewhere in their conversation, they drifted to the topic of the new family that moved in across the street. Three days was all it took for them to begin spouting their judgemental observations, every act from the new middle-aged couple and their son fodder for their discussion.
You smile politely with every fiber of your being, despite your instincts to snap at them and be on your merry way. If only they knew how ironic they are, pointing fingers at others from their high horses when the town kept enough space for their dirty little secrets. “Nice to see you this morning, ladies.”
They say your name with grace, their tones all air with little substance. “On your way to bible study?” Mrs. Choi asks, gazing at you from the rim of her glass.
You shake your head. “Just tutoring.”
“With the Nishimura boy? What a sweet kid.” When Riki’s name leaves Mrs. Lee’s lips, all the women hum in agreement. “Such a bright future ahead of him.”
“Of course, as long as he passes English,” you joke. The women’s faces don’t change, not taking your teasing with an ounce of anything but seriousness. The bags under their eyes, lipstick smudged in the tiny corners of their teeth, and piercing attitudes begin to damper your excitement for the day. You bid them goodbye quickly with another smile, walking down the stairs and onto the path down the street.
As you turn down the sidewalk, still hearing the resounding chatter from the women, your thoughts run wild. Is this what life would be like when you were older, doing nothing but kicking your feet up on a neighbor’s porch with only other people’s business to fill your time? Spending endless days and nights at church, listening to the same sermons leave Reverend Park’s lips until you become as overly critical as they all are?
The screech of tires halts your thoughts in their place. “Watch it!” A young man’s voice pierces the morning air, making you step back even further. You hadn’t realized how far you had walked into the road until you were back on the safety of the sidewalk. You trip on a crack between the two slabs of concrete, falling backwards and meeting the ground hard.
“Shit, are you okay?” He takes his helmet off, immediately hooking it to his handlebars to check on you.
Sim Jaeyun.
You had not met him formally until this moment, but the motorcycle and undeniable looks gave away his status as your new neighbor. Your parents had decided to let the new family settle in before trying to visit and introduce themselves. If they could see you now, your maxi skirt hitched up to your knees and the boy barely a foot away from you, they would have had a field day.
Sure, you both are of age. Butlike Mrs. Choi, Mrs. Lee, and other local townsfolk always do, people will talk about such a compromising position if you aren’t careful.
All those thoughts fade away though when Jake kneels beside you, his face flooded with concern. His eyes linger on the broken skin on your legs and then across your flushed face. “Does it hurt?”
You shake your head. “It’s barely a scratch. Sorry I almost ran into you.”
“More like almost ran into my bike.” He laughs, his expression one of relief as well as humor. “I’m just glad you’re in one piece.”
“Thank the lord.” You brush your hands on your skirt and begin to stand up, but Jake grabs you by the hand to help, taking all your weight with him.
“Thank you,” you say, brushing the free hair from your braid out of your face.
“You’re welcome.” He unclips his helmet from the bar and gestures back to his bike. “I can drive you to wherever you’re going if you want. I don’t have a second helmet, but–”
You can’t help the laugh that escapes your lips, the thought of riding on the back of a motorcycle too ridiculous to envision given your status as the deacon’s daughter. What would people say?
Jake just furrows his brows, his lips turning up at the corners. “Is my offer that funny?”
“No,” you say, “I would love to, it’s just–”
“Sim Jaeyun!” The shrill sound of Mrs. Choi’s voice makes you take another step away from Jake, unaware you were as close as you were to him. His presence seems to be magnetic, just like his smile. “Stay away from her or so help me God!”
Jake turns to the old woman down the road and nods his head, trying to be respectful but clearly irritated from her meddling. “Yes ma’am,” he yells, stepping back and getting closer to his bike.
“Maybe another time,” Jake says, “when you’re not flocked by the whining wine moms.”
You laugh and nod. “Maybe.”
Jake rides away on his bike, the wispy ends of his hair your last picture of him before he makes a sharp turn at the end of your street.
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“Why do I need to learn this?” Riki groans, laying his head flat against his desk. The church bells ring as he knocks his head in the same rhythm against the polished wood.
“Because you need to be able to interpret text if you want to go off to college, Nishi. Otherwise you’ll be illiterate and an embarrassment to the entire town!” You put on your best harping, disapproving voice. It makes Riki laugh as he lifts his head. You’re glad at least the younger kids appreciate your sense of humor, unlike the older brood flooding your hometown.
“Alright, fine.” He opens his copy of Heart of Darkness, beginning to read the page in front of him. “I avoided a vast artificial hole somebody had been digging on the slope…”
A knock on the classroom door makes you and Riki turn. Yeri opens it with a shy grin, saying your name with the same nature. “Someone’s here to see you!”
“Who?”
“Some cute guy on a motorcycle? But don’t tell Jungwon I said that!” She runs back out the door and leaves you puzzled. Surely it’s not Jake. You just met him; he wouldn’t make the effort to try and follow you to your tutoring session, especially at the church of all places.
You head to the window to see Jake sitting against his bike, looking around at his surroundings. He’s wearing the same leather jacket and gray jeans, his white shirt marked with several spots of sweat. Riki comes up behind you, making a sound of acknowledgement. “Oh, that’s Jake!”
“Jake?” You look closer. “I thought his name was Jaeyun.”
“Yeah, but I call him Jake.” He laughs. “He’s my cousin.”
You nod your head, taking in his words. Jake’s sudden move made a lot more sense, seeing as Riki’s mother was getting sicker every day. She must have needed some help from her family to not only manage her household, but make sure Riki stayed on track.
“He probably wants to see you. Yeri must’ve gotten it all mixed up.”
Riki grabs his phone, scrolling through texts with his thumb. “Actually, he did mention almost running over a cute girl on his way to work.” The young boy smirks. “I’m gonna assume that’s you?”
You blush, the flush on your cheeks making you feel hot. “Whatever. He’s probably just picking you up!”
“I brought my own bicycle, dude. And as cool as Jake is, his driving makes me nauseous.” Riki begins packing up his belongings on the desk as you wonder what Jake would want to say that hadn’t already been said earlier. Surely he had no interest in talking to you beyond another apology for almost killing you earlier, not that you would have noticed.
As your thoughts continue on, you barely hear Riki’s parting words. “Have fun making out with my cousin!”
You venture outside and are greeted to Jake’s soft smile as he looks you over. “Didn’t expect you to be teaching my cousin how to read.”
You laugh. “When would that have come up? Before or after I fell face-first on the sidewalk?”
“Technically, you fell on your ass.” He looks over the cuts on your leg again. “Still doesn’t hurt?”
“Barely remember it.”
“Damn. Didn’t realize I was so forgettable,” he teases. You shuck your backpack over your shoulder, pretending his joke didn’t land. But you can’t help how your mouth curves into a grin. “Wanna take me up on that ride now? I don’t see any wine moms in sight.”
Being clear headed and not in the midst of a compromising position, you take a better look at Jake. He may look rugged from the neck down, muscles standing out through his jacket, but his face is incredibly youthful and vulnerable without a touch of hardness. Maybe the wine moms had gotten it wrong; maybe Jake’s actually a stand-up guy bundled up in a lot of leather.
Before you can answer, your father seems to appear from thin air. He wraps his arm around your shoulder. “Mr. Sim, pleasure to meet you officially.”
Your father holds out his hand for Jake, and Jake takes it with a steadfast grip. “Nice to meet you too sir. My mother was telling me how much you’ve been helping my aunt since she can’t attend services anymore.”
“Akemi is a pillar of our church. It’s only right to take care of one of our own as the deacon.” Your father squeezes you tighter to his side. “Glad to see you and my daughter have met. I hope she’s made a good impression upon you.”
“Yes sir. Very much so.” He smiles in your direction. The dimple in his cheek makes your heart flutter in your chest, the butterflies undeniable.
“Well, please tell your parents to come to ours soon for dinner. It would be a pleasure.” Your father begins the quick walk to his car, the silent request for you to follow him clear in his stern posture. You give Jake an apologetic smile before you leave, hoping your eyes hold the promise of taking him up on that ride someday.
When you’re both out of earshot and in the confines of your father’s car, he turns to you with a frown. “Do not get yourself involved with that boy. He doesn’t strike me as very forthcoming.”
You stutter out an excuse. Surely the first day of knowing Jake wouldn’t be the last. “F-Father–”
“Listen to me, sweetie. I know what I’m talking about.” He starts the car and begins the drive home, tightening his fists on the steering wheel. “I mean it. Do not see that boy again.”
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The next morning, you’re sitting in one of the front pews with your mother, Yeri, and her mother. You see your fellow townsfolk in attendance in the other pews, Jungwon being one of them, Yeri’s longtime boyfriend. Mrs. Choi and Mrs. Lee look like they are partially focused on the attendees, but also on their own gossip.
All of you are dressed in your best outfits, your hair wrapped in a bun to maintain the peak of modesty. It doesn’t seem particularly realistic for a higher power to be judging you for your hairdo, but you gave in to your mother’s ridiculous requests as always. “We are important people in this community, darling,” your mother said as she stuck the umpteenth bobby pin in your hair. “If they can’t trust us, who can they trust?”
Riki sits behind you, his pew empty save for him. When you offer the empty spot next to you before the procession starts, he shakes his head. “Jake and his folks will be here any second.”
Your gut tightens, the words of your father playing over in your head. You know you have to heed his orders at all times, but the excitement you feel at the prospect of seeing Jake is unavoidable.
A minute before your childhood friend Heeseung sits at the piano to play the beginning of How Great Is Our God, Jake and his family walk inside. Jake’s impeccably dressed, clad in a red dress-shirt and suit pants. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, revealing a handful of tattoos you didn’t notice the day prior. He has his mother’s arm in one hand and a bible in the other, looking completely out of place but incredibly mesmerizing.
He winks at you when he sits down, making you turn your head back to your friend at the piano. You follow in your mother’s and Yeri’s lead, singing alongside them and forgetting the new buzz in your veins. You can feel his eyes on you throughout the songs and sermons, and you should say that you don’t enjoy it, but you don't kid yourself. His attention makes your body tingle in all the right and wrong ways.
You excuse yourself in the intermission, walking outside until you’re a good ten paces away from the church. You take several pins out of your hair, grunting. The incessant tools had been scratching your scalp uncomfortably for the past three hours, and it feels like freedom taking them out one at a time.
It isn’t that you don’t believe in a higher power or the teachings your father and Reverend Park have supplied you with your entire life. The town is just too suffocating on days like these, setting you up to feel like you aren’t good enough no matter how hard you try every day to perfect yourself.
The fashion show of your humble, presentable outfit, the whispered chatter from your community, the watchful eyes of holy men. They all make your skin crawl, that itch only intensifying with every day that passes. How could you stay in such a small room for years and feel misunderstood by everyone? 
Jake saunters up to you, making you gasp in surprise. “Jesus Christ!”
He smirks, hands stuffed in his pockets. “I thought you weren’t supposed to say his name in vain.”
You shrug, smiling in relief to find it’s just him and nobody else. No-one to meddle, judge, or question your absence. “I’ll just say a few words of penance. I’m sure he’ll forgive me.”
“I knew there was a reason I liked you.” Jake chuckles and steps closer to you, his eyes lingering on your dress. It’s incredibly modest, the only skin showing high above your cleavage. but the look in his eyes still makes your nerves tremble.
 You wonder what thoughts are swimming in his head and if a majority of them are impure. Would it be so wrong to confess that you feel the same? That whatever he’s imagining mirrors your own fantasies ten times over?
“The updo doesn’t suit you,” he says finally.
You giggle and cross your arms. “It doesn’t, huh?”
He steps closer, so close you can feel his breath on your skin. It lingers across your neck and shoulder blades. You shudder, hoping he doesn’t notice how his presence affects you. He reaches behind you and takes hold of the hair tie keeping your bun together. He expertly undoes it, your hair falling in waves around your shoulders.
Before he walks away, the church bells signaling the recommencement of the procession, he whispers in your ear, “Much more breathtaking with your hair down, angel.”
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The next time you see Jake, he’s across from you at your family’s dinner table, all laughs with Jungwon and Yeri as your father passes out the rest of the side dishes. Riki is also there, discussing his mother’s treatment with your mother and Jake’s parents.
You can’t help the way your eyes attach to Jake across from you. It’s almost a form of punishment that you were made to sit in such close proximity, the weight of his stare on you swallowing you whole.
The feeling of his hand in your hair, his mouth against your ear–it was all so incredibly inappropriate. You shouldn’t have thought about that day last week with such excruciating frequency, but you did. You thought about it when you heard the wine moms whispering about Jake on your porch, when Yeri and Jungwon talked about him as you studied, and when you were alone at night. 
In your dreams, it was even more painful. In a perfect world, he would take his hand from your hair and keep it on your neck, holding you close. He would move his lips from the shell of your ear to the side of your neck, kissing and tasting what skin was available to him in that moment to make you come undone.
Yes, sitting across from him is torment. But the alternative is worse, not seeing him at all and having to conjure images of him alone in the quiet of your bedroom.
“Deacon, sir,” Jungwon pipes up from his spot next to Jake, addressing your father directly. “I was going to study with Jaeyun and Yeri at my house if you wouldn’t mind your daughter tagging along.”
The muscle in your father’s jaw clenches. He’s clearly unhappy with one of the attendees being Jake, but he hides it behind a smile. “It’s up to her. What do you think, sweetie?”
On one hand, you should absolutely say no. Jake may take you into a random spot of Jungwon’s house and make any resolve you still have disappear with the flick of his wrist. Even in the company of your friends, you know no place is safe when he’s around and close to you. And were you willing to crumble so easily?
At the same time, the distance is eating away at you. You can’t take another charged glance in your direction, words unspoken but begging to be released. If you have to catch his bedroom eyes on your body one more time, you may just snap in front of everyone, and care little when you do.
“Sure. I’d love to, Wonie,” you say with a grin. “Nishi, you want to come too?”
Riki shakes his head, enjoying the fruitcake your mom set out. “I’ll stay. Someone has to help clean up.” Jake’s mom squeezes one of his cheeks. Riki’s face suddenly turns pink from his aunt’s affection, making everyone laugh.
On your way out the door, your father catches you by the arm. He whispers, “No later than midnight. Understood?”
On the cusp of 10 PM, you want to protest that time with your friends is already so limited, but you obey with a nod and walk out the door. 
When you get in the backseat of Jungwon’s car, Jake too comfortable beside you, you feel your body flicker to life. “So,” you say, “your house then, Won?”
Yeri and Jungwon laugh, a conspiratory look in both of their eyes. “We’re just gonna make a quick stop first.”
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Kiss ‘Em Creek was the unofficial name of the lake that ran through your town, a spot for teenagers to spend a few hours alone with their friends or partners. It wasn’t scientifically-correct, but it stuck nonetheless, many of the locals taking advantage of the not-so-secret hideaway. What went on there you only heard about through Yeri and the wine moms’ conversations, their voices littered with disappointment and condemnation.
Jungwon parks his car and turns his eyes to meet yours in the rearview mirror, that scheming smile still playing on his lips. “Ready to take a dip?”
Your eyes widen. You shake your head at a rapid pace, making your friends and Jake chuckle. “No way,” you say.
“C’mon babe, live a little!” Yeri winks and exits the car, Jungwon hot on her heels. The two of them begin to strip to their underwear, eager to jump in the water together. Jungwon picks her up in a bridal carry, Yeri laughing the entire way as he takes the first step into the awaiting lake.
As the two lovebirds continue heading towards the water, you and Jake sit in comfortable silence, your heartbeat slowly rising at the prospect of being alone in the car together. No distractions, no disappointed parents, no judgemental hags. Just the two of you under a cloud of stars and beautiful moonlight.
“I didn’t know if you would come tonight,” Jake says, filling the silence with a quiet chuckle. “Thought you were avoiding me at all costs, like I’m some kind of plague.”
“No!” You turn in your seat to face him. His expression is teasing but holds undercurrents of disappointment, clearly confused where your feelings lie. And he has every right to feel that way. One minute you’re wishing he would pull you closer, and the next you feel it’s better he keeps his distance. “I just don’t know what your intentions are.”
His eyes darken and his lips curve into a beautiful but intimidating smile. “Is it not obvious?”
You squeeze your thighs together, a wave of heat spreading through your bones. “Maybe I just want you to say it out loud.”
He scoots closer to you, his chest a heartbeat away from yours. “Well, to start,” he says, “I would really like to kiss you.”
You smile. A breathless laugh leaves your lips, eager to know what it would feel like to touch his mouth to yours. “I’d like that too.”
Jake runs a hand through your hair and rests it on your cheek. His touch is as fragile as the tension between you. “Then what are you so afraid of?”
You shut your eyes, trying to come up with the right words and falling short. “It’s just everyone–”
“Fuck everyone else.” He forces you to look into his eyes, the words leaving his mouth being some of the truest ones you’ve ever heard in your life. “You’re not a bad person or a sinner for wanting what you want.”
“I know that.”
“You may know it but you don’t believe it.” Jake’s lips ghost over yours, his breath tickling your cheeks. “Stop thinking about what everyone else thinks of you. Think of yourself for once.”
Maybe Jake’s right. All of your choices in life have been dictated by what your parents, friends, and total strangers have felt. If you listened to your own heart, you would have left all of them in the dust by now, chasing what you really wanted far away from this place.
At the same time, you’re glad to be in this car with Jake. He’s so close to you, telling you to take the leap and choose yourself for the first time in a long time.
When you press your lips to his, the feeling of his mouth on yours soft and tentative, you know you can’t wake up tomorrow the same person. This choice will ripple into all the choices you make from this moment on, but you don’t seem to care.
All that matters is his mouth, taking more control and setting a fire deep in your belly. He presses his tongue to the juncture of your lips, diving inside without protest.
You moan into his mouth, feeling one hand firmly pressed on your neck as the other runs down your shirt to squeeze at your breast through your clothes.
“Fuck, tell me to stop,” Jake says with a heady whisper, still kneading your breast with his palm. “Tell me to stop if you don’t want this.”
You shake your head, moving closer to him to the point you’re halfway on his lap, legs intertwined with his. “So help me God, don’t stop now.”
He snickers, pecking your lips again. “You said his name in vain again.”
You roll your eyes as he chuckles into your neck. “That wasn’t the first thing on my mind.” You move your lips to his cheek. “Or the second.” They trail down to his neck, taking your fantasies and etching them into his skin. “Or third.”
“Fuck,” Jake curses, holding you tight against him. “You’re too good at this.”
You smirk. “Contrary to popular belief, you’re not the first person I’ve ever kissed.”
He laughs, the rumble of it vibrating against your mouth. “I don’t care as long as you keep kissing me.”
“Wasn’t planning on stopping.” By the time you reattach your mouth to his, you’re straddling his lap. His hands are nestled on the small of your back, wanting to inch down further but unsure where or what your boundaries are.
You take the initiative, suddenly bold, and put both of his palms on your backside. “If you wanted to touch my ass, you could’ve just said so.”
Jake licks his lips, his accent coming out in a husky whisper. “I want to touch you in a lot of places. Your ass just happens to be easily accessible right now.”
“Oh really?” You giggle. “Care to enlighten me?”
Jake sharply switches positions, your back against the expanse of the backseat as he towers over you. He rubs his hands across the outside of your thighs, eager but patient. “Gladly.”
He kisses your neck, suckling and licking with perfect pressure, making you whimper. “Jaeyun,” you say out loud, his name coming out like a question more than a statement.
“Use your words, angel. Tell me what you want.” His eyes pass over your face, your kissable lips and lust-blown irises. You’re too entrenched in him now to walk away from this car the same girl, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.
It may end badly, crash and burn completely like everyone expects it to, but that’s the last thing you care about right now.
“I want you to touch me.” You take one of his hands on your thighs and place it over your underwear, its center damp.
“Jesus,” he says in wonder, rubbing his fingers against the cotton.
“You just said–oh,” you stop short when you feel Jake’s fingers against your clit. The sensation makes you buck your hips up into him, him discovering the bundle of nerves without trying hard. He’s clearly happy at the wetness he finds. He rubs your folds in the same fashion, biting down on his bottom lip hard.
“You feel so good already. So perfect,” he whispers, taking hold of your lips again with his own while he swirls his fingers in and around your essence. He switches between teasing your clit and rubbing along your pussy, his movements lewd yet graceful. Only when he puts a finger inside of you do you gasp and look at him directly, your eyes clearly giving away your fear.
“What’s wrong, angel? Did I do something?” Concern floods his face, but he doesn’t take his hand away.
“I’ve never gone this far,” you confess, looking to your side to hide your embarrassment.
“Hey, look at me.” He turns your head to face him again, fingers laying under your chin softly. “We can stop now if you want. I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do.”
His response makes your heart clench. Most guys, you’d imagine, would be pissed off or pleading with you to continue on, to do what they wanted and enjoy the moment. That was how Jongseong was, pouting the entire time after you told him to pump the brakes on your makeout sessions.
Somehow, with Jake, it feels right to continue. You suddenly have no anxiety clouding your thoughts or expectations weighing on your heart. You kiss his lips tenderly and shake your head. “No, I want this. I want you.”
A cheshire-cat grin spreads across his face before he goes in for another kiss. He runs his tongue along the inside of your mouth as his finger slides across your folds once again. He plunges it deep inside of your heat, your body adjusting to the new sensation with surprising ease.
You thrash lightly underneath him, matching the tempo of his finger with abandon. He slips another digit in, groaning at the feeling of your soft, gummy walls becoming accustomed to him. “You’re taking my fingers so well, angel. ‘S fucking incredible.”
You gasp and feel the fire from earlier heightening in intensity, spreading from your belly into the other seams of your body. It makes your toes curl and your hand press against one of the doors of Jungwon’s car, needing something to clutch onto while feeling yourself losing what’s left of your control.
“Jaeyun, I think I–”
“I know baby,” he says, pressing his lips to your forehead. “You’re going to feel so good in a second, I promise. Don’t be afraid.”
His thumb makes contact with your neglected clit, rubbing in rapid motions as he pumps his fingers faster in and out of you. You suddenly become overloaded with pleasure; its immensity is something you’ve never felt before. You feel it coat the back of your mouth and take what’s left of your rational senses, your body moving on its own accord as you ride out what’s remaining of your orgasm.
You blush furiously when you come back down to earth, giggling like a schoolgirl as Jake kisses your sweat-drenched cheek. “That was…amazing.”
Jake chuckles, a smirk painting his features. “You’re amazing.”
You tuck your face in your hands, embarrassed but still enraptured by what you just experienced. He pulls one hand away, taking it in his own, his expression suddenly shy. “So, I guess this is the part where I ask you on a proper date.”
You laugh and sit up, placing your panties back around your hips and adjusting your skirt. “I would hope so!”
Jungwon and Yeri choose that moment to run back into the car, their hair drenched but their bodies properly dressed once again. Jungwoon looks at the two of you in the backseat and grimaces. “Not in my car, man!”
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Despite the warnings from your parents and the wine moms, you and Jake had become inseparable within a month’s time. It took many late-night impromptu meetings and secret rendezvous to keep your relationship private, but you had succeeded thus far. And it only made the moments you both shared that much more special.
Riki had kept your secret, keeping his eyes out for any prying townsfolk and covering for his cousin and you if need be. Yeri and Jungwon also cheered you on from the shadows, hoping one day you could be public like they were without criticism.
Sitting in the field near the lake, a picnic blanket set across the grass, you have your head in Jake’s lap while he absentmindedly turns strands of your hair into miniature braids. It’s a beautiful Wednesday afternoon, the two of you occupying the resounding forest with no outside influences.
“Have I told you lately how beautiful your hair is?” Jake asks, kissing your forehead before he takes another batch of strands in his hand. If he has to pick one of your best attributes, in his words, he’d say it was a tie between your lips and your hair, the two of them constantly making his heart race. You called him a liar, but as time revealed, he was nothing but honest with you every day, and not just about what turns him on. 
Over time, you discovered his fears, his ticks, his aspirations past the small town you both found yourselves in. You admire his vulnerability, how open he is when sharing the thoughts that occupy his mind.
“At least three times already,” you tease, running your hand across his leg.
“It’s not bad to hear it a fourth time, right?” He plants another kiss to the crown of your head. He drops the braid he’s just made across your face, making you laugh.
“I’d rather hear how work went today,” you say, getting up to press your back to his chest, snuggling into him.
He shrugs, wrapping his arms around you tighter. “Not much to talk about. Working with roofs all day isn’t exactly exciting, angel.” 
You know Jake doesn’t want to work at his dad’s construction company for the rest of his life. However, it provides stability, and that matters a lot to him. He knows what it did to his aunt when Riki’s father walked out early on in his cousin’s life, and he wouldn’t wish that lack of support on anyone.
“At least you’re not running a tutoring center and a daycare in the same church,” you joke, your tone anything but humorous. The brood you dealt with every day was completely unlike Riki. They were kids that were carbon copies of their parents, children that would one day become exactly like their absentminded fathers and speculatory mothers. It put a taste in your mouth you couldn’t stomach.
You fall into steady silence, the uptick in both of your nerves ebbing away the longer you hold each other. Sure, Jake hates roofing as much as you hate disciplining whining toddlers and helping apathetic tweens with mathematics, but it doesn’t matter at this moment.
All that does is each other, enjoying the midweek sunset and the sounds of the birds flying overhead.
“What would you do if you were somewhere else?” Jake asks into the crook of your neck.
You grin, imagining a world of possibilities. The question never came up before, not from him or anyone else. It opens up a plethora of choices in your mind, but you narrow them down quickly, knowing what your heart truly desires.
“I’d like to teach,” you answer. “Really teach, maybe at a university. Something like poetry.” You turn to look at him, a newfound fire in your eyes. “Yeah.”
Jake smiles back at you, moving stray strands of hair from your shoulder to rest his head there. “I think you’d be great at that.”
“What would you do?”
Jake ponders the question, going over it in the same way you were moments before. You see realization wash over his features, and it makes you smile. “I think I’d write. Not literature or anything, but songs maybe? Teach music in the meantime. Still have to make money somehow, y’know.”
You giggle and push him down on the picnic blanket, running your fingers through his hair. “Sounds like a plan.”
He nods, sharing your happiness. “Maybe a kid and a dog can fit somewhere in that plan.”
Chuckling, you raise one eyebrow. “As long as I’m not having a baby out of wedlock, that sounds perfect to me.”
He turns you both over, covering your body with his and kissing you intensely. The passion runs from his body to yours, your heartbeats matching in their strong beats against your chests. “Perfect,” he whispers, his lips meeting yours once again.
It may be too soon to call it love, but you know you’re tiptoeing that line, and you wouldn’t mind falling headfirst on the other side of it as long as Jake’s there waiting for you.
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“Are you sure they don’t know I’m here?” Jake asks, hesitant to walk up the stairs to your bedroom.
“It’s fine! They’re at a seminar all weekend with Reverend Park and his son, I promise.” You kiss his lips before running up to your room. Still on the fence, you hear his tentative footsteps trudging behind you.
Another few months rolled by, and your parents had softened to the idea of Jake being around more often. He showed up with his parents to church every Sunday, even if you both snuck off to make out in the backwoods when nobody was paying attention.
He’d stick around for the deacon’s sessions with Akemi, brightening her spirits with his guitar and a couple of songs to replace the ones she missed during normal processions. It helped that she seemed to be getting better, slowly but surely, with treatment and daily prayer.
When you heard your father call Jake a “nice kid,” you knew they were turning a corner in their relationship that you wished for since the night Jake kissed you in Jungwon’s car.
Now, that doesn’t mean they would be happy with finding him in your bed on a Friday night, but you’ve broken enough rules at this point. What’s one more?
“You’re trying to get me killed,” Jake jokes as you rip his shirt from his body, discarding the article of clothing on your bedroom floor. You sit on your bed and marvel at the muscles on his chest and stomach, all of it yours to caress and kiss at any time.
“Don’t worry, babe. I’ll follow you to heaven,” you tease, pulling him closer to kiss his body. Each press of your lips to his skin makes him tremble, cursing quietly to himself at the feeling.
“With the way you’re touching me, I doubt either of us will make it there.”
You giggle and link his mouth to yours. You moan when his tongue hits the roof of your mouth.
The intentions you had for tonight definitely involved numerous bouts of kissing, but the way Jake’s making you feel will certainly end up with his face or fingers between your legs. And as good as that sounds, you don’t want him derailing you from completing your mission.
There had been so many moments of him giving you pleasure up to this point, you wondered how he had stayed so composed and content after without expecting anything in return.
So, tonight, you decided to give him a bit of satisfaction, even if you’re walking into such activities without any kind of road map. Yeri gave you a handful of tips, but doing it for real is another beast entirely.
“Jaeyun, wait,” you say, taking his face in between your hands.
He looks up at you with eager eyes, wondering why you pulled him away from your neck. “What is it?”
“I want to take care of you this time.” You say, hoping your expression gives off the confidence you’re trying to portray. “I’ve never done it before, but—“
“And you don’t have to, angel,” Jake says with a dopey, relaxed smile. What on Earth and heaven did you do to find a guy like him?
“Please,” you beg, scooting closer to the edge of the bed. “I want to try.”
Jake’s conflicting feelings are evident in his eyes. Surely any man wants his girlfriend to go down on him with the same eagerness that you're giving him right now, but he doesn’t want you to feel obligated. 
In his mind, pleasure isn’t about some sort of trade-off. He makes you feel good because he wants to, not because it’s some duty he has to fulfill and expects to be paid back for later.
But, you asked so nicely and your eyes shine up at him so beautifully. He feels his resolve crumble enough to concede and do what you want.
You begin to unbutton his pants, your fingers twitching not from fear but excitement. When you pull down his jeans fully and see the outline of his bulge in his briefs, your mouth falls open slightly at the size.
Could it fit in your mouth if it was that big?
Jake chuckles and takes your hand to press to the gaping material covering him. “It won’t bite.”
You look up at him and begin to stutter, unsure how to continue once you take off his underwear. “D-Do you want me to use my hands first?”
“Whatever feels right to you, angel. I trust you.” He rubs his thumb across your cheek, and it calms all the nerves that came to the surface.
It’s in those three words that you find the courage to pull the remaining article of clothing off of him, taking in the sight of his cock in all its glory.
You gulp hard, trailing your eyes from the tip to where it adjoins to the rest of him. You’ve never seen one up close before, and you feel like you’re invading his privacy as you stare at it for another long minute. But who can blame you?
“It’s all for you, baby,” Jake whispers. “Do whatever you want.”
You feel a sharp pang of heat at the center of your thighs, his words spurring you on. You spit into your hand, as Yeri instructed, and wrap your hand firmly around Jake’s cock. With an easy but deliberate pace, you look at Jake directly to see if you’re starting off on the right foot.
And boy were you.
Jake hisses at the feeling of your hand encasing him, loving the tightness of your fingers as they continue sliding up and down his dick. He had envisioned this many times in the solitude of his bedroom, images of you and your beautiful body writhing underneath him enough to get him off. But those nights were nothing compared to this.
“Are you ready for my mouth now?” You ask timidly. Jake wants to laugh at how innocent you sound, the words coming so naturally off of your tongue.
“Yes, angel, please,” he answers, wanting to caress you by the hair and guide you down to his awaiting, leaking cock.
You move closer until you're an inch away from his tip. Flattening your tongue to take it into your mouth, you keep watching Jake’s face for the right signals.
His mouth opens, a satisfied whine leaving his lips. You feel a wave of pride at the fact he’s enjoying it so much, egging you on further.
“Your mouth feels so perfect wrapped around me,” he confesses. He soaks in the sensation of your lips and teeth softly running over the veins of his cock, your head bobbing across his length skillfully. How can an innocent and dutiful daughter like you give such mind-blowing head?
He can’t ruminate on the answer long, releasing a guttural moan as he feels his tip hit the back of your throat, the gag that rumbles from you making his cock even more sensitive.
“Angel, I’m gonna come soon,” Jake warns. “If you don’t want me to come in your mouth, let me know now.”
You look up through your lashes at him as you continue sucking on him with fierce passion, swirling your tongue across his tip. 
His hand is wrapped firmly in your hair now, fucking your face as softly as he can without forcing anymore of himself down your throat. When you take a hand to cup his balls, softly kneading them between your fingers, he’s done for.
He whines pathetically as his seed shoots inside your mouth. The taste isn’t particularly pleasing, but you milk it for what it’s worth to watch him fall apart so perfectly under your attention.
The orgasm rocks through him with an unshakeable amount of pleasure, his body completely helpless as he continues to spurt into your mouth. He can only hiss and whine as you continue to touch him, letting him come down fully and taking all of him without complaint.
Jake breathes in deeply when he gains clarity again, taking you in his arms and shoving his tongue deep in your mouth. “That was probably the best blowjob I’ve ever gotten,” he states, running his fingers over your face with adoration.
You scoff and roll your eyes, his words making you shy. “I doubt it, seeing as that was my first one.”
“It was!” Jake puts a hand on his heart. “Swear to the savior himself.” Before you can rebut, Jake takes your legs in his hands and moves you to the edge of the bed.
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You wake up to the hard knocks at your bedroom door, the morning sun peeking out of your window to prove the previous night has long gone.
“Honey? What did we say about locked doors in this house?”
Your father’s booming voice makes you jump up from bed, smacking Jake hard on the shoulder and chest to wake him up.
“We had an odd feeling at the hotel, so we came home early,” your mother says as you shake Jake from his sleep.
“Ow, what the fuck,” Jake grunts, his voice not quiet enough to go unnoticed. You curse yourself and the reality in front of what’s about to happen, knowing full well your parents heard him on the other side of the door.
“Sweetie, who’s in there with you?” Your mother’s shrill but concerned tone makes you cringe. Jake’s eyes bulge in response, quickly leaping from the mattress to pull on his clothes in haste.
Just when you throw your dress from last night over your head and Jake buttons up his pants, your father slams open the door with his shoulder. Your parents gasp and yell at the sight before them, the man they began to grow comfortable with in a compromising position with their only daughter and precious child.
“What in God’s name is he doing here?” Your father asks no-one in particular, stomping towards Jake’s shirtless figure and yanking him by the neck.
“Daddy, stop!” You plead, scratching and clawing at his frame to pull him off of your lover.
Your mother begins blubbering, teary-eyed before you. “Oh honey, what did he do to you?”
“Nothing,” you scream. “Please leave him alone and let us be.”
“I told you to stay away from him.” Your father stares you down, eyes blazing with fury. “Not only did you betray me, but you betrayed the sanctity of your purity. It’s a disgrace.”
Jake coughs, your father’s hands tightening around his neck. “The only disgrace is the two of you holding her back, like she’s some weak bird in a cage,” he croaks. “She can make her own decisions.”
“You stay silent, you insolent pest,” your father growls, yanking Jake out of your room and down the stairs. By the time you and your mother make it out to the bottom step, your father has thrown Jake out and onto the porch.
“Stay away from my daughter, or you’ll have another reason to pray you don’t end up burning in hell.”
“Stop it!” You step in between your father and Jake, the latter putting on what’s left of his clothes. People begin to hover too close to your family home, suddenly entrenched in the scene playing out before them.
Jake kisses your forehead and walks away in the direction of his parked bike, unsure what else he can do unless he wants to truly end up six feet under. 
 Your father grabs you by the upper arm and pulls you in the direction of your porch, but you resist with all your might. “You can’t make me go back in there.”
“I am your father and you will listen to me,” he grunts, holding on tight.
“Daddy, I love him!” You scream as you yank your arm away from your father, your inner strength giving way. “If you can’t accept that, I guess I’ll just have to burn hell with him. Better than wasting another second here.”
You run toward Jake’s bike and sit behind him, cinching your arms around his waist. He smiles to himself, feeling the press of your chest to his back as he puts his helmet over his head. “Are you sure about this, angel?”
You nod furiously, not bothering to look back at your red-faced family. “More than I’ve ever been.”
All you focus on is his motorcycle rumbling to life before you speed away. Your hair blows in the wind as you both escape the horrified stares of the local vipers.
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You end up at a motel on the other side of town, far away from the scandal that’s surely rocking your small community by now. The deacon’s daughter running away with the bad boy next door? What a tragedy!
You run inside to miss the upcoming rain, both of you shivering from the barrage of pellets that did land on your skin. You settle onto the mattress as Jake drops the small amount of belongings he had in his possession on the dresser.
He turns to you with quiet concern, arms splayed out on the furniture as he looks at you, searching your face for any lingering doubt. “No regrets?”
You shake your head, exhausted but glad to be out of that house. “None at all.”
He breathes out a sigh of relief and sits down beside you on the bed, rubbing your thigh with his fingers. “I’m sorry.”
Your brows knit together, confusion pouring over you. You take his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers. “You have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I should be apologizing to you.”
 You feel tears build at your eye ducts, your voice suddenly growing thick when you recall the scene from an hour ago. “I’m sorry my father was so horrible to you.”
“Hush, it’s okay,” he puts his other hand on your face. He kisses your lips tenderly and gracefully. How did nobody else but you see he possessed the most kind nature of anyone you’ve ever known?
Jake moves his head, his lips curving into the smile that always takes your common sense away. “I love you too, by the way.”
Your confession from earlier hits you like a heavy rock, your eyes going wide and your face turning pale. “That wasn’t the way I wanted to say it.”
“Then say it now,” Jake urges, your face resting gently between his fingers.
There’s no fear or pressure when the three words leave your lips, only the feeling of a weight lifting off of your chest. “I love you, Sim Jaeyun. I love you with my whole heart.”
His face lights up, the words seeming to set aglow something deep within him. The only right reaction seems to be in the form of his lips attaching to yours in a passionate kiss, your shared love creating a beautiful path forward for the both of you.
He whispers his next words so lightly, you almost assume the statement is a figment of your imagination. “Marry me.”
You feel your face contort into a mixture of disbelief and elation, needing to hear him say it again for it to truly resonate. “What?”
“Marry me,” he repeats, his smile stretching across his face. “Marry me now, or in three months from now, or whenever you want. Just say you will.”
You exhale a breath of astonishment, unsure if he knows how much you want to say yes, to make this as real as it sounds on his lips. He leaves your side with a kiss to your temple to grab something from his jacket. 
He comes back in record time, standing in front of you and twiddling the black box in both of his hands with anxious fingers. “I brought it with me to your house last night, I just didn’t know how to ask then. But I do now.”
Like in all the stories you’ve read and movies you’ve seen in your lifetime, he sinks down onto one knee before you. You place a hand over your mouth as he opens the box, a ring with an opal-shaped diamond cushioned in the center.
“Would you please do me the honor of being my wife?” Those words on his lips, visibly shaken from his own question, make a thousand butterflies flutter inside your chest.
Months ago, if you knew then you would end up here, from the edge of the sidewalk to now, you would not change a single moment. The world had been so gray before, you didn’t know what it was like to step in the sun until he came into your life. What other answer is there?
“Yes, yes, yes,” you respond, tears flooding your eyes as he shakily places the ring on your finger. It fits just right, the stone at the center sparkling in the darkness of the motel room.
You kiss Jake’s lips with all the force your body possesses, certain there’s no better future than right beside him.
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The feeling of the gold band around your finger makes Jake shudder as it touches his cock. Your body is nestled perfectly on top of his as you take what you can’t put in your mouth between your fingers.
He laps up your essence with his tongue, ecstatic to have his face covered in your juices and smothered if need be by your wet cunt. If people think wedding nights are magical, engagement nights have to be a step up.
“Fuck, Jaeyun, yes,” you roll your hips into his awaiting mouth, his tongue available for you to lay your slit onto. The expletive leaves your mouth like honey, the feeling fitting for such a dirty word.
He knows exactly how to make you fall apart and be put back together, and the thought of doing this for the rest of your life makes you want to cry again from the pure happiness inside your core.
Jake takes his lips off of your pussy and sits up. Before you can ask what he’s doing, he takes you into his lap on the bed and kisses you fiercely. You taste yourself on his tongue as he skillfully takes your breath away with his lips. When you part, he says, “Angel, I know we said we’d wait, but I don’t know how much longer I can handle not being inside of you.”
You whimper at his words and suddenly rock your center into the tip of his cock, making him groan in the process. “I mean—we’re just starting early, right?” 
Jake releases a joyous laugh and kisses you hungrily, his face in a constant state of ecstasy since you said “yes” hours ago. “Right.”
 The anticipation makes you even wetter, crawling to the head of the bed as Jake grabs a condom from the bedside table. If there was one thing he had promised, he swore he wouldn’t get you pregnant. Not yet, anyway.
He rolls the rubber over his cock before joining you on the bed, lining up perfectly with your center. He rubs his tip against your folds, biting his lip at how easily it gets coated in your essence. “Ready?”
You nod eagerly, a smirk filling the entire bottom half of your face.
He pushes the tip in, the pressure a foreign feeling you had never experienced before. It took time and practice to get used to the size of his fingers, but this is another level of fullness that takes your breath away.
Once Jake’s partially inside and gives you a moment to adjust, he asks, “Can I move?”
You nod your head, holding onto his shoulders for support as he begins to thrust inside of you. He loves to see his cock disappearing between your legs, your body eagerly taking him in and stretching itself out to accommodate him. He loves the way you whimper at the movement of his hips and the pleasure you’re receiving.
Better yet, he loves you. He loves all of you, from the nonsensical words you speak in your sleep to the wrinkle between your eyebrows when you get mad. You’re all his, and he’s grateful to be the only one you call yours.
“We may never leave this motel,” Jake says, his words breathy as he continues moving his hips. “I could stay inside of you for the rest of my life, angel.”
“I love you so much,” you say, inching your hand between your bodies to roll your clit between your fingers.
“I love you,” Jake says. He takes your face in his hands and kisses you like he wants to pour all of his emotions from his being into your soul, just so you know how deep his love for you goes.
It’s all so overwhelmingly beautiful, you feel the swell of your release cresting over you like a tidal wave. “Baby, I’m gonna come,” you whisper, your mouth open wide from the moans and cries you cannot suppress.
Jake groans and slams his hips into you harder, filling you to the hilt repeatedly. “Come, angel. Come for me.”
You cry out as the orgasm takes hold of your body, your fingers working on their own accord on your clit as you fall off the edge.
Jake stills not a second later, releasing into the condom and taking the last remnants of his energy to thrust inside of you a few more times.
He pulls out and throws the rubber in a nearby trash can. His sweaty body clings to yours, hands rubbing up and down your arm tenderly as he kisses the curve of your shoulder.
You see the flash of your ring in the glow of the motel’s neon sign, and you think about how the night could not have gone any better.
Jake may be a bit reckless and not what you initially imagined for your future, but now that you have him, you wouldn’t give him up for anything. All the parts of you that stayed buried for so long have resurfaced because of him, and you could not be more grateful.
With your left hand a touch heavier than it was some hours ago, you fall asleep to the sound of the rain hitting the window and Jake’s rising and falling chest.
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You walk out of your mother’s house, happy to have made a visit with her before she ran off to do her morning errands.
What you’re not pleased to encounter is the same crowd of women huddled with their homemade fans and cups of lemonade. They weren’t there when you arrived a few hours ago.  Of course they show up when you have no chance of escaping them, like the vultures they are.
“Mrs. Sim,” Mrs. Choi says, her tone entirely made of stone with little warmth. “Pleasure to see you.”
Your new surname gives you indescribable amounts of happiness. It took your parents some time to get used to, but eventually, they realized you put your heart in the right place. Your father took his sweet time getting there, begrudgingly admitting a short time ago Jake is a very acceptable son-in-law, the turnaround of his perception of your husband complete.
You give the crotchety ringleader a fake smile and attempt to walk away, but Mrs. Lee interjects. “How’s your mister doing working at the church now?”
“Great,” you say, genuinely happy to talk about a topic you care for. “Jaeyun loves the kids. Little Yuna might actually be a guitar prodigy from what he’s told me.”
They all coo, practically synchronized in their sips of lemonade and fan flurries.
“Soon enough you’ll have one of your own, I’m sure,” Mrs. Choi remarks with sarcasm, her red-lipstick-stained front teeth on full display.
“Not too soon now,” Jake suddenly says, walking up the pathway to your mother’s house and taking you in by the waist. “My wife has to finish her Masters first. How else is she gonna start teaching at the community college?”
My wife. No matter how long it’s been since you officially got married in your church, that day a year ago forever ingrained in your memory, it still warms you to the bones hearing those words leave Jake’s lips.
The women all express signs of agreement, some nodding while others hum.
“We better get back home now, but you ladies have a nice day!” Jake bids them goodbye and walks you both down the stairs with his hand on the small of your back. Even if he were to be more than the perfect gentleman in front of them, they would still linger around with pesky eyes and constantly moving lips.
“They’re still betting we’re gonna crash and burn, aren’t they?” Jake whispers, teasing you with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
You shake your head. You fall more in love with him every day that passes, no matter what the people around you do or don’t see. They may have their opinions, but it won’t shake the foundation you’ve built. “Well, they’re sure to be disappointed if I have anything to say about it.”
Jake’s eyes widen, his expression humorous yet surprised. “Easy, angel. Don’t want to have to tear my wife off of a nosy wine mom.”
Your heart aches at his words, him fully aware of what two of them in particular do to you. “I love you.”
Jake grins, inching his face closer to yours. “I’d love nothing more than to kiss you right now, but what would everyone say?” He asks with a mock face of horror.
You shrug without much care, grinning. “Someone once told me ‘fuck everyone else.’ And right now I couldn’t agree more.”
Jake laughs before he places a gentle kiss to your lips, the sun radiating off of him in waves as he pulls you closer.
No matter what anyone in your small town has to say, your choices are yours; you’re perfectly happy with how your life has turned out whether they think so too or not. And you will always choose Sim Jaeyun, now and forever.
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@yvnempire @sjylouvre @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @jenoslutie @loserlvrss
𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 ౨ৎ˚₊
@kvanity-main @sweetvenomnet @onedoornet @sayxonet @violetanet @svthub @whipped-kpop-creators
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vantxx95 · 13 days ago
Text
video games (l. hs)
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pairing. heeseung x female reader
genre. Will you hold my…controller? AU, crack, fluff, a smudge of angst, pwp(85% plot, 15% smut), loosely Girl Next Door(film) inspired, M/F, ….filthy smut🩷
warnings. profanity, my attempt at humor(apologies), GameStop manager Heeseung, y/n is very much an e-girl/mild descriptive style characteristics, besties Jake/Jungwon/Beomgyu(txt), boynextdoor side characters, twerking @ GameStop after hours, pop culture references. smut warnings under cut. minors DNI.
wc. 32,100+
now playing. I'm not okay(I promise)// my chemical romance, sexy bitch//akon, valhalla//blind guardian, hands down//dashboard confessional, hey leonardo//blessid union of souls, the birds and the bees//breathe carolina, be my druidess//type o negative, video games//lana del rey.
smut warnings. y/n does OF, sex on live stream, thats.. a big joystick you’ve got there, size difference/kink, daddy kink, begging, crying, subspace, praise, degradation, choking, hair pulling, squirting, fingering, biting, anal plug use, anal, rough sex, breeding, wet & messy, etc
———————————- ‘You like D&D, Audrey Hepburn, Fangoria, Harry Houdini, and Croquet. You can’t swim, you can’t dance, and you don’t know karate. Face it, you’re never gonna make it.’
‘I don’t wanna make it, I just wanna—‘(Refer to: ‘I’m Not Okay(I Promise) by My Chemical Romance music video)
Jungwon frowns at the TV screen, sighing as he alternates between watching some old corny emo video play and his manager bops along, occasionally tapping his foot to the beat.
“Never liked this video.” He says annoyed, pushing a cart full of shipment out. “Did these losers ever consider that they got bullied because they suck?”
“Did you just say you don’t like My Chem?!?” Heeseung stammers, clutching his chest. “Get the hell out of my store!”
“Now this,” Jungwon grins, forwarding to the next video. “This is music.”
“Ugh. This guy sounds like someone’s gripping the life out of his sack.” Heeseung grumbles. “Take that mask off and let's see if girls would still be losing their shit over their band.”
Jungwon shrugs, leaning against the cart. “Speaking of masks, I wore one last night while streaming. The tips went crazy.”
“How much did you make?”
“Easy $2000 in less than a couple of hours. Couldn’t even focus on my game because the chat was going wild. Maybe the crop top helped.” Jungwon nudges an elbow into his friend's side. “You should try it, look.” Whipping out his phone from his work vest, he taps open a recording from the night prior filling the screen with half of his face covered by a cat mask. The pink and white ears matching well with his cropped ‘baby girl’ top.
“Oh dude..” Heeseung makes a disgusted face, shoving his hand onto the screen to hide it from his sight. “I don’t wanna watch you wiggle and giggle around like a whore for cash.”
“Least I have more money in my account than you, Mister GameStop manager.” Jungwon whistles sarcastically. “Wouldn’t hurt you to try a little. You’re always complaining about the lack of viewers you pull.”
“GameStop partner, don’t forget that I own this place and cover the rent just because we’re friends.” Heeseung corrects, folding his arms on top of the shelf he’s been stocking. “I shouldn’t even be out here right now. Where the hell is Jake?”
“You’re the one who made the executive decision to hire your friends instead of some loner teenagers willing to work for minimum wage.” Jungwon shrugs, patting the olders back. “I’ll call him. That assholes probably jerking off or still asleep.”
“As long as he gets here before my lunch.” Heeseung groans to himself, rubbing his stomach that makes a sound of agreement before returning to complete his morning tasks. It’s been a solid year since he signed contracts and made the decision to commit to owning a business. A year of struggling, pulling at his hair, counting and recounting cash each time he ends up short by the end of another month and has to dig into his savings. 
Surely this was not the dream his parents had in mind when paying off his tuition and allowing him to move out to complete university without distraction. At least they could sleep peacefully at night knowing he’d never have parties raided at the apartment they helped pay for each month.
No. He’d have to have more than a handful of friends and off-handed acquaintances to throw an actual rager of a party. Unless evenings filled with screaming at Jake and Jungwon about Dungeons and Dragons rules counted.. they did get pretty rowdy at times.
“What up limp dicks!” The miscreant himself also known as his best friend hollers, kicking the doors open to the store. Vest half strewn off his upper-half, hair a mess still plastered to his skull as if he hadn’t bothered to run a comb through it. Likely that he couldn’t even find one in his bathroom, let alone remember owning one.
“See Hee,” Jungwon claps. “Your elite employee has arrived!”
“Elite my ass.” Heeseung grunts, glaring at his friend as he makes his way to clock in.
“Tskkk, read the sign!” He points at the wall behind the register where a large print of his glowing smile has been framed and hung up.
“Elite employee of the month.” Jungwon reads, wagging a finger at their manager. “He’s got you there.”
“Fine fine, oh so elite one. Listen, I had to change your schedule this weekend. Gyu hit me up about going out to Eagle Stone with his group for larping and—“
“Larping?!?” Jake spits, grabbing his hair and screaming out obnoxiously. “God man! How are you possibly getting even worse! You’re never going to get laid again!”
“What’s wrong with larping?!” Heeseung squeaks suddenly, grabbing his throat as he coughs. “I mean.. keep it down would you?”
“Dude, you’re going to have to cancel, already have plans this weekend.” Jake says, holding out a hand toward his friend. “You should be thanking me. I am saving you from decades of humiliation that you’ll never be able to live down.”
“Don’t be so lame.” Heeseung glares at him, nervously tugging on the lanyard around his neck. “Was hoping we could take our D&D crew out there and—“
“No way, I refuse.” Jake grimaces, waving his arms in dismay as the bell chimes above the door sing from the other side of the store. “Hee, man, straight up dude. I am telling you this as not only your elite employee but also as your best friend. Your dick has cobwebs at this point dude, you haven’t gotten laid in months.”
“Guys.” Jungwon whispers, patting Jake’s arm.
“That’s not true!” Heeseung hisses quietly, eyes widening from embarrassment.
“Oh yeah? Prove it because last time I can recall was Sunghoon’s Birthday, and you’re lucky I don’t tell him that you fucked his cousin because—“
“Guys.” Jungwon repeats, breathily, now wrapped around Jake’s arm.
“That’s none of his business! And we had a really lovely evening!” 
“Guys!!”
“What?!” Jake and Heeseung both snap at once, finding Jungwon’s eyes wide as saucers as he stares out into the store. Following his gaze leads them to sporting the same expression when they spot you.
“Who the fuck is that.” Jake mumbles. Throat going dry where he stands and eyes from your ankles to your butt perked out as you bend down lower to add another game into your basket.
“That’s what I’ve been trying to say—“ Jungwon’s cut off by Heeseung frowning at the both of them.
“A customer.” He states, straightening up and clearing his throat. “Who clearly could use some assistance!”
Rushing over to do just that, he leaves the two behind the register shaking their heads. 
“He’s hopeless.” Jake bemoans, slapping his forehead.
Jungwon nods, sad that he can only agree as he watches the older tiptoe around the section you search through without approaching. “Tell me about it.”
To say that Heeseung Lee is hopeless would be an understatement. He’s what some may consider a reject of society, socially awkward, introverted, but one thing he knows how to do is his job. With a happy smile he comes over to stand next to you, sneaking a look at the games you’ve started to choose. “Ah, a fellow role player.”
Startled by his deep and chipper voice, you jump to stand straight. Setting the gift card in your hand back onto the display. “Excuse me?”
“Oh.” He clears his throat, looking away when you meet his gaze. “I’m sorry Miss, you must be shopping for gifts—“
“Yeah.” You snort, nodding to the pink cat ear headset in your basket. “Gifts for me.”
“Oh!” He brightens up. Motioning to your basket. “Great choices! Do you perhaps have a membership with us yet? I don’t believe I have seen you in here before.”
“I actually do.” Turning around to look at him, you squint at his name badge. “You’re the manager?”
“Owner, actually!” He says proudly. Lifting up his lanyard to tap the title on his work ID. “I’m here all of the time.”
“Oh wow, that’s great. I actually just moved into town a couple of weeks ago, still getting settled in.” 
Heeseung lights up even more, smiling from ear to ear. “Seriously? No wonder I haven’t seen you here before. What brings you to town?”
“Well,” appearing in thought, you shrug. “Work.”
“What do you do?” He asks curiously, shaking his head. “Sorry sorry, you don't have to answer. I get caught up in conversation sometimes—“
“I’m a streamer.” You nod, showing him the basket in your hold. “Gaming.”
Heeseung’s throat bobs, letting out a small ‘ah.’ As if everything makes sense now. Really kicking himself in the ass for prioritizing this managerial job over his dreams of gaming online for thousands of viewers and admirers. He could have been as world renowned as Faker if he had committed to working hard on building a platform. “That’s such a cool job.” He forces himself to say. Beginning to feel awkward for not responding immediately, he counts the items in your basket. “You know what, since you’re buying so much I’d love to offer you a discount!”
“Oh what? No, I don’t need one. Seriously, thank you though.” You’re fast to reject his offer. Shyly flushing and looking away. Pretending to be distracted by the wall of plushies.
“No no, please! Think of it as a moving gift. I’m sure as an online gamer you’ll be frequenting this area quite often.”
“Well,” shifting from side to side for a minute, you nod and grab one more gift card. “I’m doing a few giveaways for my viewers.” You inform, following him to the register.
“Wow that’s really cool, you must have quite the following.” 
Jungwon and Jake watch from the side with their jaws on the floor. Heeseung could possibly be the most oblivious dense clueless idiot they've ever known. Speaking to a pretty girl he could easily engage in flirtatious conversation with as if she’s just another customer, neither of them can believe it.
“Mm.. I guess I do.” Brushing off the topic, you throw a few keychains into your basket. “Might as well make the most of this discount.” You shrug, smiling at the other employees. Jake clears his throat, diverting his gaze as if he wasn’t just gawking at you as Jungwon moves away quickly to hide in the break room.
“How’s 15 percent sound?” Heeseung smiles, the same customer service smile he’s dawned for years now. The type of smile you have to force after months of dealing with scammer returns, thievery, and fraudulent coupons. 
“I’ll take it!” You eagerly express, bouncing up and down. He gulps, eyes going wide as he focuses on ringing up your items. 
“You’re already a member, you said?”
“Oh yeah, my emails thedruidessnymph at gmail.” 
Heeseung’s fingers hover over the register keyboard, repeating your email in his head. He slowly lifts his head to meet your gaze. “D-do you play D&D too?”
Lighting up at the mention of the game, you nod. “I used to! In high school, I’ve been too busy to really involve myself anymore. Do you play?”
He nods, turning around to fiddle with different advertisement flyers and free gaming magazines to add to your bag. “I’m a wizard.” 
Putting your items away, he states your total. Not once confused by the black card you retrieve from your wallet to pay with. “What’s your specialty?”
Heeseung scratches his Adam's apple, eyeing the vent above his head. Why’s it so hot in here all of a sudden? “Illusionists.”
“That’s really cool, I know wizards aren’t really utilized in battle but I can definitely see how throwing out some spells could really assist your side.”
Wiping the trickles of sweat forming at his nape, he dry swallows. “Uh huh,” handing you your bag of items, he waves to end this conversation. 
“Aren’t you going to ask me about my specialty?” You playfully ask, taking your purchase.
Heeseung forces himself to smile, tight-lipped. “You’re a druid.”
“I prefer druidess, but yes.” You say proudly, moving to stand at the side of the register. “I’ve thought about changing my character a few times, a sorcerer or a warlock sounds much cooler. But I’m kind of attached to the lore I’ve built.”
“Do you transform at all?” Pretending to be busy with organizing the mess that Jungwon’s left at the register, he keeps his head low. He’s never been great at maintaining eye contact for too long, most especially with the opposite gender.
“That’s the thing, I turn into a wolf.” Lifting your hand up to form a paw, you let out a soft growl. “Real scary, huh?”
Heeseung’s lips twitch with a real smile, clearing his throat and shaking it off. “There isn’t much of a D&D community around here, but if you ever want to do some live action gaming, in the next town over; I’ve gone a few times. It’s nothing really crazy, just a bunch of people dressed up as their characters out in the woods.”
“You mean, like, larping?”
The sound of Jake groaning from behind a shelf he’s been pretending to stock tickles at his ears. Ignoring that, he turns to look at you, blinking in disbelief. “D-do you larp?”
“I’ve always wanted to! I have such good costume ideas. I’ll bring them next time to show you! Oh my God that’d be so fun!” 
Heeseung should correct himself, because he wasn’t inviting you. No, only making a recommendation, but now you’re smiling at him as if this is the most exciting news you’ve heard all day and he can’t deny you. “Next time you come into the store?”
“Yeah, told you, I’ll be here a lot. Better get used to this face.” You sound even more bubbly now. A real pep in your step and he wonders if he just unintentionally initiated a friendship. Softly laughing to make himself do something, he shoots you a thumbs up.
“Yeah, I’ll..” really looking at your face, he licks at his lips. Taking in your eyes, nose, and teeth that are aligned in a nearly perfect way. Fresh glowy skin and hair framing your face. “I’ll remember.”
“Great!” Leaning onto the register counter, you squint at his name badge. “Heeseung! Thanks again for the discount!” 
“No problem.” He waves goodbye, looking away before you exit the store. Only when the bell above the door chimes does he take a deep breath, fanning his face. “Need to check on that A/C.”
“Dude what the fuck was that.” Jake exclaims, jogging over to the register. “What were you talking about for so long?”
Heeseung shrugs, picking up a box of damaged returns to take to the back. “Nothing really. New customer is all.”
Jungwon exits the bathroom as they enter the small break room, excitedly hopping over to where Heeseung begins to cut up empty game boxes. “Did you get her number?”
“What?!” 
Jake sighs, shoving Jungwon back. “Dude not to sound crazy because even I’m confused, but she was totally flirting with you!”
“Oh, you’re definitely crazy.” He nervously laughs, throwing out the rest of the damaged merchandise. “She’s new in town, I was just giving her some recommendations on what to do around here.”
“Larping?!” Jake shouts, cupping his forehead and groaning. “Listen to me, Heeseung, as your best employee and best friend.”
“Please stop self-titling yourself.”
“As your best employee and best friend!” Jake repeats, following him to the little janitor’s closet he uses as an office. “That girl was most definitely into you, I don’t know why but—“
“Thanks man.”
Jungwon huddles behind Jake in the doorway of the closet. “She looked so familiar.” He ponders, pinching his chin. “But I mean, if Jake’s right then you should totally go for it! You need to get laid, man.”
“I’d really love it if you guys would go work the register and actually stock some of the new shipment.” Heeseung looks at his friends pitifully. “I haven’t had breakfast today, and my stomachs starting to rumble.”
The two watch as he pulls out a snack pack of cheese and nuts, stuffing his cheeks in front of the computer screen showing visuals of the store. Moving on from the subject as he opens up his emails and lets out a tired sigh.
“Fine Heeseung.” Jake grinds his teeth, glaring at Jungwon. “Enjoy your lunch.”
———————————-
“Ddongy, I’m home.”
Heeseung’s baby bombay cat scampers down the corridor to where he’s still removing his shoes by the door. “Woah woah!” Laughing as he moves around to shut the door behind him, he picks up his 8 month old baby, immediately burying his face into Ddongy’s soft fury stomach. “Ahh, I missed you.”
Making his way to the kitchen, he rubs his cheeks against Ddongy’s, enjoying the purrs his kitten lets out before setting him down on the floor to grab him treats. “I know I know, I’m home late.” 
A few of Ddongy’s favorite treats appeases him enough to forgive and forget, at least until dinner time when he’ll be screaming and clawing up Heeseung’s leg to be immediately fed. “Today was a lot.”
Setting his palms against the kitchen counter, he hangs his head. It’s already 6pm, already dark outside, and he’s been up since 5am. Going in to open the store and do most of the work before his friends clock in at 10am for opening, he needs a minute to refresh himself before he can enjoy a hot meal. 
Making his way to the bathroom, he begins to strip off his clothes. Tossing his shirt uniform onto a hanger before he turns on the shower. He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, something he typically tries to avoid. 
It’s been awhile since Heeseung really took the time to look at himself. His eye bags have gotten bigger, cheeks more sunken, skin more pale and sallow, and his hairs nearly half way down his neck. God, he needs to schedule a haircut.
He needs to sleep more. He needs to eat better and stop stuffing his face with instant ramen. He needs to drink water instead of soda. He needs to start washing his face, maybe throw on some skincare every now and then. 
He needs to do so much, and yet he can’t find the motivation to.
He needs to get laid.
According to his friends, that should be his first priority. And as much as he hates to agree with them about something so superficial, he can’t say they’re wrong.
“She definitely was not flirting with me.” He says to his reflection, taking in how exhausted he looks one more time before stepping into the shower.
It has been months since he last had sex. Not because he’s not horny and desperate for it, his calloused palms would highly dispute that argument. 
Sex can be hard. It shouldn’t be hard to enjoy sex. At least he doesn’t think it should be, and he’s not quite comfortable enough with his sex obsessed friends to admit that. They don’t need to know that he feels more empty mentally than he does physically after he has sex. That he prefers to get off to romantic fanfiction about Genshin Impact characters instead of watching hardcore porn. 
They berate him enough for not wanting to hit up clubs or college parties they get invited to. Heeseung’s convinced somethings wrong with him, he hasn’t had a real girlfriend since his freshman year of high school, and that could hardly qualify as a real relationship.
As he scrubs his skin with a washcloth and soap, he really tries to think about what happened today. Namely, he thinks about you. Were you flirting with him? And why couldn’t he pick up on it if you were? Why did he start to feel nauseous and clammy while having a very normal conversation with you? Why does the thought of your smile make his stomach turn, even now, hours later.
He dries off and feeds Ddongy, right on time as his cat paws at the sweats he pulls on and his feet pad over to the kitchen. “Good boy,” he hums, squatting down to scratch down his back. “You’re eating so well Ddongy.”
It’s 8pm now, and Heeseung has to wake up early to open the store again. He sighs and plops into his computer chair. Rubbing the desire to sleep away from his face as he logs onto discord and finds his friends are all active. 
MysticWizardFate1015: ‘Going to keep it easy and play Stardew tonight guys.’
Opening up a stream and setting up for his screen to be shared with any viewers that enter, he slouches and turns on the game. Nothing he has to think too deeply about. Simple enough to entice his brain without wanting to keep him up for hours with the need to play.
PrettyKittyBoy9669: ‘Heeseung, we’ve been talking. After telling Jay about your potential new girlfriend, we agree, she was into you.’
IKEUDICKEU: ‘Yeah dude, fuck this game. We finally have something interesting to talk about on here.’
FingeringMyGuitar02: ‘I hear she’s way out of your league though.’
Heeseung groans, pausing the game to read what his immature friends are going on about. “Guys, come on. This isn’t what I logged on for.”
PrettyKittyBoy9669: ‘Yes it is. We need to figure out how to get you a girlfriend.’
FingeringMyGuitar02: ‘She sounds like your type though! And Jake looked up the last email you typed in, said she does a lot of online shopping. If she keeps coming back into the store then she definitely wants you.’
“Jake, you did what?! That’s—that’s against policy!” Heeseung throws off his headset, grabbing his phone to text Jake separately.
IKEUDICKEU: ‘It was an accident! I was gonna search myself up to see when I last bought something and her email came up as a recommendation!’
Heeseung grumbles, half buying that lie. Knowing that the ancient POS system they use does for some reason prompt the last thing he typed to pop up whenever he even grazes the keyboard. “Jake, my office, tomorrow.”
IKEUDICKEU: ‘Dude, you know we both can’t fit in there.’
PrettyKittyBoy9669: ‘Anyway, she lives only a few blocks away from the store. I’ll try to find more information, but she might use a pseudonym online because the name she registered with isn’t coming up with shit.’
“This is stalking!” Heeseung shouts, startling Ddongy and quickly apologizing. “Please, let’s be normal here! She probably has a boyfriend.”
IKEUDICKEU: ‘Does that mean you’re interested in finding out?’
PrettyKittyBoy9669: ‘Yeah, fuck all of this for a second Hee. Are you attracted to her? Would you be interested in a girl like that if she is into you?’
“I..” leaning back into his gaming chair, he rubs at his temples. Closing his eyes shut to really think about what he’s going to say. The same smile that’s been plaguing the back of his mind all day reappears. Biting down on his lip to stop himself from reacting, he slips down into his seat. Rolling his eyes up to look at the ceiling. “I find her very attractive.”
IKEUDICKEU: ‘Great! That’s all we needed to hear.’
———————————-
To say that today has started off terribly would be an understatement. 
Ddongy decided that 3am was a perfect time to catch a case of the zoomies. Racing around the living room bouncing off the walls and waking Heeseung up.
Of course he fell asleep at the computer after arguing with his friends about his nonexistent love life for another hour until they all logged off and decided to meet up to get burgers. He passed, knowing that he’d have to wake up at the crack of dawn to drive himself to work.
Making Ddongy give him kisses despite how he writhed in his hands, he laughed, and stumbled right into his kitchen table stubbing his toe. Clasping a hand across his mouth to stop himself from shouting out a pained howl. He hopped around on one foot, his other throbbing as he reached the kitchen counter and Ddongy tilted his small kitten head in confusion watching his owner hunch over and whimper into his hand.
On top of his back cracking a hundred different ways from sleeping in the most foul of positions, he limped to his car after getting an hour of sleep in his actual bed. Deciding to leave a little early to grab himself a hot coffee before heading into work. That would definitely set his day straight, some strong hot caffeine.
Or at least it would have, if he hadn’t misplaced his store keys and hadn’t fumbled the paper cup in his hold as he reached into the bottom of his backpack in search of the keys.
This time he let out an anguished frustrated cry, echoing out into the empty parking lot as hot coffee drenched his pants.
“Fuck!! FUCK!!” He shouted, jumping up and down in place to shake the liquid off. 
There’s just no way he can make today any better. Not with rent due at the end of the month, not with the electricity bill being higher than it ever is, not with the $8 he wasted on coffee only to paint his pants with.
Now he’s sulking over a small cup of instant brew, failing to convince himself that it doesn’t taste like pure dirt water. This day couldn’t possibly get any worse.
And he should know better than to speak too soon.
“Riwoo, how many times do I have to tell you that you cannot open up a trading card set until you pay!” Heeseung hates raising his voice, especially at work. He tries to keep it at a whispered tone, peering over the shelves at Jake who’s been playing a game on his phone behind the register ever since he clocked in an hour ago.
Don’t ever hire your friends.
“Shut up Lee,” this damn snarky kid has the audacity to scoff at him. “You know I have the money.”
“That doesn’t matter Riwoo!” The entrance chimes again, but he doesn’t look. Too flustered as he follows after one of the many teenagers that insists on making his life a living hell. “You cannot open that set until you pay!”
“Here!” Riwoo shouts, hurling a twenty dollar bill at him. “Damn.”
“At the register!” Heeseung gripes, reminding himself to breathe.
“Holy shit!” Riwoo jumps onto the tips of his feet, victoriously raising up a Charizard GX card. One that immediately draws Heeseung’s eye and gathers drool around his tongue. “And this my friends! Is why I continue to put up with this fucking nerd!” He turns around, holding the card up like a trophy with spread open lifted arms. 
“T-that’s a rare Charizard.” He says more to himself. Slowly reaching for the card only for Riwoo to snatch it away, furrowing his eyebrows angrily. 
“I know that idiot, don’t touch!”
“No no!” Heeseung stammers, digging into his back pocket for his wallet. “Here, take your money back, you cannot leave this store with that Pokémon set.”
“The hell I can’t!” Riwoo runs away down the aisle, making Heeseung chase after him. He moves to the next row to stop him, only to be met with a foot slamming into his shin. The same one leading down to his stubbed toe, he cries out. Dragging down a bunch of games lined up on a shelf nearby as he falls down to his knees and the stupid kid runs past him flipping him off. “Fucking loser!”
The door's bells chime a few times, probably all of his friends running out after him to cheer him on. Heeseung catches his breath, sitting on his ass and rubbing his shin. 
God, that was embarrassing..
“Dude.” Jake frowns at him, coming to stand in front of him. “That was embarrassing.”
“I’m aware.” Heeseung mumbles, glaring at his best friend for not even offering to help him stand up.
“Yeah, mostly because that girl came in.” Jake continues, fussing with his hair. “Something about a thank you card for yesterday.” He motions toward the register. “And she saw you chasing around that 15 year old..”
“What?!” Heeseung jumps to stand, hissing and cradling his shin. Large eyes darting around the store in search of your face. 
“I dunno, she uh, left after Riwoo ran out.” Frowning at the older, he pats his shoulder. “Was nice to dream. For what it’s worth, I really do think she was into you before she saw you bullying a kid.”
“I was not bullying him!” Stomping over to the register with his one good leg, mostly hobbling, he grabs his keys. Pausing when he spots a hot pink envelope with the nicest cursive writing he’s seen spelling out ‘Thank You’.
“Is this from her?” Picking up the envelope to inspect it, he sniffs. Catching a trace of sweetness, something sugary and clean. Is that perfume?..
“Yeah, told you, she had some excuse about wanting to thank the manager for the discount yesterday.” Jake waves it off like no big deal. Informing Heeseung that he’ll be taking his 15 minute break(that will inevitably be 30 minutes) even though he just clocked in an hour ago.
“A thank you note?” Wrinkling his eyebrows together, he leans against the register counter. The pain going up his shin slowly fading as he does his best to gently tear open the pink folded paper. 
Pulling out two papers folded together inside, he opens them to find your writing.
‘Great wizard, I’ve scoured the lands in search of assistance for centuries now. My breed has been on the decline, and I, without a mate, cannot reproduce to assist my dying population.
I ask for your help now wizard of mystic and illusions to guide me and direct my way to a successful future.
(btw included a sketch I made of my costume a few years ago! pls don’t laugh!! I’m way better at drawing now!! ;~;)’
Heeseung quickly pulls out the next page, jaw dropping at the drawing. It’s clearly you, with a wolf skull on your head, more strings and straps on your figure than actual clothing, and a deadly looking bow and arrow across your back. His fingers drag down the drawing to the boots you’ve drawn, decorated with sharp canine teeth along the sides. He can picture you wearing this, and once again he purses his lips annoyed, arching his neck back to glare at the ceiling vent.
“Electricity bill so high for what—“
Cool air hits his face silencing him. Licking at his lips, he drags a sweaty palm down his pants still carrying the smell of coffee. Rubbing his stomach that feels more like wings fluttering and beating against his insides than actual nausea.
Now why would butterflies be erupting in his stomach?
“Oh fuck.” 
Heeseung wipes at the back of his neck, fanning his shirt off of his chest. He’s being ridiculous, he’s too old to have a crush! What even is a crush? Reddit might know.
There’s no way he’s about to hop onto Reddit to fucking seek advice on this. 
Why is my throat tightening up? Am I getting sick? Or did I just fall in love?
God, he’s screwed. And his shin really hurts. Enough to make him want to permanently ban Riwoo from ever entering this store again. Not that he will, unfortunately he’s all too familiar with Riwoo’s family situation. He and his mother have been squatting at a hotel a few blocks away for over a month now, only barely finding a room to share with his brother. That damn Pokémon card could be the highlight of his year, whereas it's a mere blow to Heeseung’s ego. 
“Whatever.” Tossing his phone down after searching through different threads, he’s positive he’s not developing feelings. Maybe all the shitty convenience food that makes up 95% of his diet has finally caught up to him. Yeah, that’s probably it.
“Alright, I’m out of here.” Jake announces after taking his lunch. Once again reiterating that Heeseung really needs to post a ‘help wanted’ sign, or online advertisements. 
“Have a hot date tonight.” He says proudly. Licking two of his fingers before he drags them across his eyebrows to smooth them down. “Girl with these tig ‘ole bitties.” He cups around his chest, squishing his eyebrows together. “Moved into my building, and fuck man, I need to get some of that.”
Jake’s probably one of his horniest friends, ever since they entered high school he’s been on a mission to shove his dick inside of any hole that will host him. When he’s not thinking about sex, he’s thinking about the last time he had sex, or looking up new positions he hasn’t tried yet. His mind screams for sex sex sex, directing most of the conversations they have to talk about sex.
Heeseung sighs, shrugging, he waves off his friend. “Hey dude,” Jake pauses before heading out. Tugging a red velvet beret onto his head. “Sorry I won’t be able to catch your stream tonight, but you should skip it and get some rest. You look like shit..”
Reaching past the register, he squeezes Heeseung’s shoulder and makes his way out of the store, bouncing on balls of his feet before jumping into the air and clicking his ankles together. All that Heeseung can think while watching his friend leave is what a shame it is that he refuses to get into D&D.
He’d make a great gnome.
The rest of the night goes pretty easy, allowing him ample time to clean up the mess he created earlier while chasing Riwoo around. He finishes stocking the shipment that came in yesterday. Eyeing the time before deciding he can shut off the register and outdoor lights to start working on a new display. This might be one of his favorite parts of the job. 
Unraveling his headphones that are hanging on for dear life, he slots them into his ears and plugs in his phone. The best part about working a double shift from open to close is definitely how quiet and peaceful the store feels. It’s the one time Heeseung really gets to enjoy one of the many playlists he creates only to ignore 5 days out of the week and leave playing as low volume tunes while he games. 
Tonight’s playlist of 2000s club hits really titillates him, working through cleaning and wiping down the area he’s going to set out the latest Mario Kart game. He’s been dealing with the layout and design through emails all week with Nintendo corporate. They’re more particular and demanding than they should be given the revenue they pull in and how effortlessly their games fly off the shelves. 
He pauses to look over the display photos they’ve sent over before diving into cutting boxes open. He’ll have to get this done pretty fast if he wants to get home on time to feed Ddongy before it’s too late and his baby ignores him for the rest of the night.
“Oh, this is my song!” He mumbles to himself. Pulling out different cut outs of Mario and Princess Peach to set up. His hips shimmy along to the music blasting from his headphones, moving with a mind of their own as he sings along.
‘She’s nothing like the girl you’ve ever seen before! Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood whore!’ Picking up the box cutter he’s been using, he slides it shut. Raising the tool closer to his lips to sing into it like a mic. ‘I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful!’
He slides down the aisle and back again, eyes shut, lifting one of his arms up and rolling his hips into a circle. ‘The way that booty moving I can’t take no more! Have to stop what I’m doing so I can pull her close!’
Spinning on his foot, he wraps around the air in front of him. Shoving his hips forward to mimic himself grinding against another body on the dance floor. ‘I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful!!’
Right as the beat drops, he stomps and breaks into a dance through the aisle. Squeezing his eyes shut while throwing his hips from side to side. ‘Damn girl!’ Heeseung throws his head back, tossing his head around. His messy unstyled hair flops with him. ‘Damn you’s a sexy b—‘ lifting a hand to his mouth, he covers it before getting the curse word out. ‘Damn you’s a sexy—ahh!!’
Straightening his neck, his eyes flicker open, landing on your amused smile at the end of the aisle. His feet cross, ankles twisting together and before Heeseung can even process what’s just happened, his phone flies from his pocket into the air. The wires of his headphones latched onto a part of the display sticking out, ripping the buds from his ears. Pain shoots through his shin once again as he lands fully onto his knees inside of one of the boxes he’s opened. Crushing Wario’s face as the cardboard digs into the front of his shin and knee and he lets out an anguished cry.
“Oh my God!”
Oh this day. This day could not get worse.
Heeseung’s shin is officially down 2 points now, when he was never even aware of the scoreboard to begin with. He slumps back into the display set up, clutching his leg up to his chest and hissing. “I’m so sorry—I thought maybe you’d heard me come in! The door was unlocked!”
Blinking up, he can’t believe it’s you again. Especially since you came by earlier unbeknownst to him and got to witness a 15 year old handing him his own ass on a platter. “Huh?!”
Too tired and beyond mortified to process what the hell you’re rambling about. He rolls up his jeans and curses under his breath. Of course he scrapped the first layer of skin right off of his knee, that would explain the throbbing. “Oh my God that looks terrible, where’s your first aid kit?!” You ask frantically.
Shoving his pants back down, he nods toward the break room entrance. Grabbing onto the shelf of games nearby to pull himself up. Your hands hover near his torso, reaching for his free arm while insisting to help him stand. “Please please I’m really sorry about this! I really thought you heard the door chime.”
Ah shit. He didn’t lock the doors. “I should have, I don’t know—I should have!” You continue to ramble. Dragging your fingers through your hair in a rather anxious and crazed manner. Wide eyes bouncing around the store for an escape or something to hide under. 
“It’s okay.” He says quietly, gently taking your wrists and moving your hands away from pulling at your hair. “I had my headphones on—“
Pausing mid-sentence, he slowly blinks. Picturing the smile on your face when he spotted you leaning against one of the shelfs watching him dance like a complete fool to Sexy Bitch. Oh God.
“How long have you been here?” He wearily asks, not really wanting to hear an answer. 
“Five?.. Seven minutes?” You shrug nervously. Picking up his phone for him to make sure he didn’t crack the screen.
“I don’t always do that.” He mumbles, internally convulsing. He nods as a thank you as he accepts his phone. “We’re supposed to be closed..”
“I know, I’m sorry, I should have known that—honestly though, you dance really good!”
Ugh.
Heeseung grimaces, looking away and scratching at his Adams apple. His knee throbs harder, imploring him to grab ice from the fridge. The walk up the stairs to his apartment is gonna blow harder than usual tonight. 
“You said the first aid is back here?” Moving around him, you point toward the door leading to the break room. Shooting his eyes open he follows behind you, hobbling on one foot. 
“You can’t go back there!”
“Why?..”
“You don’t work here!” He says adamantly, swallowing when you begin to squint at him. “Company policy..”
“Don’t you like.. own this place?” You ask, continuing to question him with your gaze. Heeseung nods, pushing the break room door open. 
“You’re right, I guess it doesn’t matter..” 
Moments like this really set in how right his friends are about him. He’s an uptight hardass nerd that could benefit from a night out, dancing with real women instead of the ones he only imagines. “I mean, if you really aren’t okay with me being here right now, I can leave.” You murmur, anxiously fiddling with your fingers. “I just feel really bad about your leg.”
“It’s okay, you can come back here. I’ll allow it.” Turning his back toward you, he squeezes his eyes mouthing ‘what the fuck’ to himself. Why is he such a dweeb?!
“I really am sorry Heeseung, about startling you like that. I should have came by earlier but I got busy with some last minute errands.” You wave off, looking around the small break room. 
Limping to the bathroom, he comes back to the table where the guys usually eat their meals. Dumping the first aid kit open with a look of confusion. “We close at 8.”
“I know—I—I know that.” You stammer a little, picking up a few of the alcohol swab packets. “Can I?”
Heeseung eyes you apprehensively, chewing his bottom lip for a few seconds before nodding and perching his bottom against the table. Setting his leg onto one of the chairs, he hisses as he rolls his jeans back up and winces at the sight of his scuffed knee, already beginning to swell with a bruise. Great.
“Here I thought I was going to make you feel better.” Muttering under your breath, you grab a small bottle of hydrogen peroxide. Moving down onto your knees for a better view of his leg. He hisses as you start to clean off his wound, apologizing with each swipe.
“Wh-what are you doing here this late? I thought you came in today already?” Taking this chance to get a good look at your face while you focus, he really starts to study your features. Much like the other day you have on some makeup, eyeliner and mascara. A little of that glowly stuff on your cheeks and nose bridge. And your lips, they’re cutely shaped, almost like a heart. More pronounced by whatever tint and sparkly gloss you have on. His mouth tweaks to one side, the only thought running through his mind is how pretty you are. Even as you dab the deeper part of his cut with an alcohol swab that burns and makes him shiver.
You’re pretty. You’re really pretty.
Too pretty for him.
“So yeah, I tried talking to that kid. Riwoo?”
Wait what? Snapping himself out of his thoughts he focuses on your voice, looking away when you look up at him. “When he ran out, I went after him to see if he’d cut me a deal.”
“What??” He sits up straight. Hissing as he shoves his jeans back down and moves away from the table. “You talked to Riwoo? Why?”
“Well, for the Charizard card—
There is absolutely no way this day could get worse. It’s almost laughable, except it’s way too embarrassing, and if he ever had a chance with you he undoubtedly ruined that after this day.
“The Charizard card.” He repeats monotonously. Eyes darting to your hands diving into your bag. 
“Riwoo wouldn’t sell me his.. I really tried to bargain with him but, I did some digging around online and actually found a guy in town with the exact same card.”
“T-that’s a secret rare Charizard GX card.” He thinks his lips move to say, maybe that’s his voice speaking. But all that he can focus on is the colors beaming back at him under the break room's fluorescent lights, blurring the wishful look on your face from behind the piece of expensive paper you’re holding up for him.
“Yeah, I really hope it’s legit cause,” you laugh awkwardly, stretching your arm out toward him. “It’s yours.”
“What?!” He stumbles back, raising his hands away from the card. Huffing a mildly terrified laugh at the idea of accepting such an outrageous offer. “For h-how much??”
“Oh, I wasn’t—I’m not charging you anything! You seemed like you really wanted this.” You shrug, capturing your bottom lip to bite on. “Here, please, take it.”
Shaking the card at him, his eyes go wide enough to fall out. Shaking his head rapidly, he waves his arms in dismay. “You’re crazy, I can’t accept that?!”
“Why?? Is it fake??”
“No!” Reaching to pull on his hair, he stares at the card in disbelief. Slowly dragging his gaze from the pretty manicured designs on your nails to the bracelets you have on, your slouchy sweater, and then to your pretty pretty face. So freaking pretty.
A pretty girl offering him a rare Charizard GX as if it’s a fucking piece of gum. This day could actually not get any crazier. 
“I really cannot accept that. Thank you though.”
The small amount of hope on your face crumbles, dragging the corners of your lips down as you nod and put the card back away inside of your wallet of all places. His teeth grind, holding himself back from saying anything about how you should be taking care of such a rare card. “I should uh, clean up the mess I made.” Motioning to exit the break room, he steps back for you to step out first. Turning the lights off and jingling the store keys in his pocket.
“It’s really late now..” you mention, glancing at the clock on the wall. “Can I at least drive you home? For all the trouble I’ve caused?”
Heeseung’s mouth opens to reply, ready to shake his head ‘no’ until he thinks about Ddongy meowing at him this morning. 
His baby!
“Ddongy!” He panics. Quickly shoving the boxes of the display aside to clear the path of the aisle.
“What?”
“My cat!” Tugging at his hair again, he jogs to the registers to make sure they’re turned off. “I have to go! He hasn’t ate since morning!
“Oh my God..” you say in awe, following him around as he runs from corner to corner of the store checking all the plugs. “You have a cat..”
Coming to a stop to look at you, he laughs to pretend like he didn’t just act like some crazy cat dad. “Uh, yeah I do.”
“Ddongy?” Hiding your smile, you pull out keys from your pocket. Dangling them with that same hopeful look on your face from before. “Can I please take you home to feed your cat?
Heeseung can feel his ears start to burn up, smoothing his hair down over them, he’s suddenly thankful that he’s been too lazy and busy to schedule a haircut. He can’t really turn you down again right? Then you’d really think that he has zero interest in getting to know you.
“Sure.” 
Sure this sounds like a good idea, until he walks outside with you and remembers to lock the store doors this time, turning around to see his lonesome car parked alone in the lot. He pretends to not notice and follows you, albeit still limping, he keeps up with your pace with a forced smile on his face. “You really don’t have to do this.”
“I want to.” You grin, jogging to open the passenger door for him. The smile on your face growing to a large one stretched from ear to ear. “Maybe I’ll get lucky and you’ll let me meet Ddongy.”
Heeseung lets his back melt into your cushy furry leopard seat covers. Darting his eyes all over, he counts the different Hello Kitty air fresheners you have. Takes a deep breath of how nice and floral your car smells. “So, where to?”
Rubbing his sweaty palms down the tops of his thighs, he starts listing out directions. Not living too far away from the store, you mention that he’s only a couple of streets away from you. “Guess we would have run into each other eventually.”
“Yeah, uhm, yeah maybe.” Trying to stay calm, he avoids eye contact when you park. “Well, thank you for driving me home.”
“Aw come on Heeseung! I wanna meet Ddongy!” You whine, making his chest shrivel from inside. 
“Right right, okay. He might be cranky because I’m late and he’s a little weird around strangers still..”
“Well I’m great with animals!” Skipping behind him, you follow him up the stairs to his apartment, each step shooting painful pangs up his leg. For once he feels grateful that he lives in such an old building and won’t have to take an awkward elevator ride with you. Humming and keeping his gaze focused on his feet to cover up his heavy breathing.
“Sorry if it’s a mess, I wasn’t expecting any guests.” Unlocking the front door, he can already hear Ddongy’s claws scratching down the wood floor as he runs akin to a bat out of hell down the hallway toward his owner. Releasing a cried meow, he paws at Heeseung’s legs before he can fully step out of his shoes. “I know buddy, I know. I’m late, again.” He sighs, reaching under Ddongy’s arms to scoop him up as he stands.
“Oh my Gosh! He’s precious!” You squeal, making grabby hands by your chin. Not wanting to startle his cat the way you got Heeseung earlier, you enter inside behind him, following his lead with removing your shoes. “He looks like Toothless!”
A smile pokes out his cheek dimples, rubbing one of his kittens ears flexing around on airplane mode when you speak. “Yeah, he kind of does.” Ddongy squirms in his arms, reminding him that he needs to eat, now. “Come on, I’ll let you give him a treat.”
Leading you to the kitchen, he sets Ddongy down to feed him. Taking out a few treats, he hands you 2 of them and nods for you to offer them to his cat. “He needs to get used to your scent.” Heeseung yawns, raising an eyebrow when Ddongy eats right out of your palm and rubs his cheeks against the back of your hand.
“Pffft…this cat.” 
“Aw he likes me.” The same smile you’ve had on the entire way home beams up at him. “Like father like son.”
Heeseung chokes on his spit, setting Ddongy’s food down before he lifts up to stretch his back, reaching for the cabinet above him for support. “You must be tired.” You say, scratching Ddongy’s back and tail before standing up. “It’s late, daddy needs to eat and sleep too.”
Again, he struggles to swallow his own spit, letting out an awkward laugh. He smooths his hair over his ears again. “Not trying to kick you out or anything, you’re welcome to stay.”
“Oh? Am I?” Tilting your head to one side, your smile turns more flirtatious with raised eyebrows. He has to look away, scratching at his chest. 
“God, I’m so rude, huh? Would you like anything to drink? Water? Soda?” He frets, rushing for the fridge to look inside of. Not that he has much to offer.
“That’s okay Heeseung. I’m pretty tired too.” As if on cue, you yawn, covering your mouth with a laugh. “Might stop by tomorrow for that new Mario Kart release.”
“Oh right right.” Shit. He’s going to have to wake up super early to get that display done before the store opens. “I’ll walk you out.”
“Don’t worry about it,” you wink, bending down to pet Ddongy rubbing his cheek against your leg. “He must really like me.”
Yeah. Heeseung thinks, fingers itching by his hips to stop you from leaving, unsure of what else he could even say if you were to stay. 
He must really like you.
“Night Heeseung, get some rest.” You wave, turning to leave his apartment. He follows after you, waving goodbye. Locking the door when you exit without watching you until you make it to the end of the hallway. That might be too weird, right? He doesn’t want to seem weird.
Then again, you showed up at his job after closing with a rare Charizard GX collector card.. which you likely spent hundreds of dollars on and then offered to him for free.
That’s not necessarily proof that you’re into him, but it definitely makes some convincing evidence if he really sits down to think about it. That and how you offered to patch up his bloody shin, getting down on your knees without a second thought before cleaning off his wound.
And then insisting on driving him home.. begging to meet his cat.. maybe he’s reading too into things.
A knock on his door pulls him from his delusions, peaking through the peephole before he unlocks it, fully expecting to see you again. His eyebrows raise as he opens the door and finds a bag of takeout waiting for him, the delivery guy already on his way back to his car.
‘Make sure you eat something else besides ramen sometimes boss.
-Jakey Jakey’
Heeseung smiles, shutting the door and making his way back to the kitchen. Other than thinking about sex, Jake does remember to be a caring friend sometimes.
———————————-
Nothing wakes you up quite like a ball of furry cat butt in your face. 
Heeseung groans, dragging his palms down Ddongy’s back. “Who needs an alarm when I have you, my son.”
And he’s thankful that Ddongy reminds him, whether he’s aware that he does or not, that he needs to head to the store earlier today. The pain shooting up his shin also reminds him that he needs to get going before the train leaves without him.
Making his way to work, he’s shocked to see Jake sitting out front with his face buried in a cup of coffee. “Hee, what took you so long man?”
“What are you doing here? Aren’t you off today?”
Jake jumps up, carrying an extra cup of hot coffee, now mostly lukewarm. “Why’s your car here?”
Heeseung thanks his friend for the coffee, appreciating the small amount of warmth running down his throat. Turning around to look at his car that’s been parked overnight, he smiles and presses the coffee to his lips. “I guess it’s a long story.”
Jake squints at him, raising a curious eyebrow. “We have time.”
It only takes an hour to fix up the display with his friend's help, much faster than he would have been able to alone with the way Jake bounces off the walls as he retells last night's events.
“Dude, she’s totally into you!!” He squeals, running up and down the aisle with his hands waving about. “I can’t believe this! Do you know how much she had to pay for that stupid Pokémon card?! Those things cost a fortune!”
Heeseung hasn’t really considered the fact that you spent money, your own money to get him a Charizard card that he fought a teenager for..
“You think she likes me?” 
“Dude, come on man!” Jake squeaks, grabbing onto his shoulders. “You cannot be this dense!” Snapping his fingers, he clutches onto the back of his neck, drawing the taller closer to himself. “I need you to listen to me, and I really mean listen to me.”
Heeseung nods, nervously gulping. “This girl, she’s hot. She’s really attractive man, like..” he bites down on his lip, shaking his head. “She’s so fucking sexy dude.”
Heeseung’s ears burn, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. He’s listening, he is, he’s understanding everything his friend is saying, but accepting how attractive you are is only going to make all of this so much more difficult for him to believe. “Why would she like me?”
Jake sighs, dragging his hands down his shoulders to look him over. The greasy strands of hair hanging over his forehead, his dark eye bags, chapped lips, the same faded uniform shirt he’s worn everyday this week. “Give yourself credit, she likes something about you.”
She likes something about you.
That’s all Heeseung can think about for the rest of the day as he sorts through go backs, damages out returns, and responds to emails from different vendors and suppliers. You like something about him.
Maybe you like something about him..
He’s thankful that Jake decided to come in today, the extra help was more needed than he thought. And driving himself home felt like a huge relief after working all day. The extra long hot shower he took was even more necessary than he realized, making him question if he should really hire a couple of more employees.
Not that he can afford to.
After feeding Ddongy and making himself a proper meal(albeit with some of the leftovers from the food Jake got him) he sits down at his computer chair. Getting comfortable before logging on to find none of his friends online. “Oh.”
Shrugging, he cracks his knuckles and turns on a live stream anyway. Maybe they’ll show up eventually, or maybe they’re all busy, having actual lives to attend to..
League of Legends sounds like the perfect option to lose himself in tonight. His eyes burn as he stares at the screen and becomes engrossed in the game, not even noticing when a new user enters the stream. 
Lycanthropegoddess: ‘Hey!’
The sound of a new message startles him, glancing down, he squints as something peeking out from under his keyboard catches his attention and he pauses the game. 
Charizard beams back at him when he moves his keyboard aside and he can’t stop a smile from pushing the apples of his cheeks up. “Wow.”
Lycanthropegoddess: ‘Playing league tonight?’
The chat startles him again, glancing at the screen to see that a few of his online gaming friends have joined, along with a newcomer. “That’s a username I don’t recognize.”
He says out loud, reading it over quickly before leaning back to look at the card sliding between his fingers. 
Lycanthropegoddess: ‘What do you have there?’
Lifting the card up for his camera to focus on, he grins and chuckles. Shaking his head before throwing himself back into his gaming chair. “Chat, I can’t believe this.”
TheNextFaker420: ‘Is that a fucking Charizard GX?!’
“It is!” He laughs, setting the card down to stay up against his computer screen. “I—I met someone, I think.”
The few usernames he recognizes in the chat all type quickly, questioning what he’s stuttering about. “A girl.” He says, patting his cheeks that suddenly feel warm. “A girl came into work this week and—“
Hooning02: ‘Whatttt? You finally got some?’
“No no,” sinking into his chair, he plays with his bottom lip. Chewing on the plush skin as he thinks about your conversation from the previous night. “I don’t know what to do, she’s way out of my league..”
Hooning02: ‘Okay what’s new? Is she down to fuck or what?’
Lycanthropegoddess: ‘Do you like her?’
Heeseung reads the new messages that pop up, not fully focusing as he thinks about the way you blew on his cut and patched him up. “I like her. I really think I like her, a lot.” He finally admits, mostly to himself. Picking up the Charizard card, he gently traces at the character's photo, biting back a smile.
TheNextFaker420: ‘Well! Quit being a pussy dude! Ask her out.’
Lycanthropegoddess: ‘You should definitely ask her to hang out, maybe grab a coffee!! Girls love coffee.’
Hooning02: ‘Nah man, go straight for fucking. Dating is useless if she’s way too hot for you! She’ll just use you for a few good meals.’
Lycanthropegoddess: ‘No no! You’re cute, I am sure she would really love to get to know you better first!’
Heeseung drags his fingers through his freshly washed hair, stressed out by the differing amounts of advice popping up in the chat. “Worse that can happen is she says no?” He frowns, poking at the Charizard card.
You wouldn’t have just gifted him something like this for no reason? What are the chances that you’re actually just a really nice person? He has to ask him if people this nice still exist.
“Ask her out?” He questions, reading through the chat again.
Lycanthropegoddess: ‘What do the two of you have in common? Maybe you could invite her to do something you share an interest in! Does she play video games?’
“Actually, we have a few things in common..” he blinks slowly, as if realizing for the first time that you both enjoy cosplaying. At least to some extent. You definitely like video games, and you must have some type of knowledge about Pokémon. “She does play video games.”
Lycanthropegoddess: ‘That’s great! What about going to an arcade?’
Hooning02: ‘Don’t do it man, I’m telling you now that it’s going to be a waste of time.’
Heeseug checks the time, fighting back a yawn as he contemplates asking you to hang out, maybe for a date. Maybe as friends, friends go to an arcade..
“I’ll let you all know how it goes.” He nods, picking Ddongy up who has been pawing at his ankle for the last 5 minutes. “Have to work again tomorrow. I should really head to bed now.”
Lycanthropegoddess: ‘Take my advice mystic wiz! You’ll never know if you don’t give it a shot!’
———————————-
“Jungwon, I hate asking but I’m a bit short on rent this month.”
Heeseung doesn’t just hate asking his friend for money, he absolutely loathes it. He should be on top of all of the stores bills and finances, but here he is instead, asking a guy who meows on stream to lend him a thousand dollars.
“You still owe me from last month, Heeseungie.” He says, pinching one of the olders cheeks to add more humiliation to this situation. Jungwon’s dimples poke deep into his cheeks, making Heeseung wonder if he’d get more viewers with the help of such a cute and endearing feature. “Gonna have to start charging you with an interest rate.”
Heeseung grunts, sighing when the younger motions for him to do a little dance with some extra cuteness to convince him.
A humiliation ritual to earn his money. “Please, I wanna see some Geppetto moves here!” He giggles, propping his chin onto his palms as his superior dances like a fool for him. He’ll lend him the money of course, but getting to watch Heeseung jump around like a Leprechaun isn’t something he’s willing to pass up. “Alright alright, that was great. Now twerk a little.”
“Jungwon.” Heeseung says firmly, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Alright alright hyung, I know. Times are tough, you know I’ll spot you.” He jeers, poking at the olders chest. “You’re just too cute when you get desperate. Oh and—“ glancing past Heeseung’s shoulder, he pats his chest, shoving him to turn around.
Really, your timing is impeccable. Always showing up when he’s at his lowest. At least the smile you’re forcing tells him that you feel somewhat bad for him, he hopes.
“Looks like we have a customer.” Jungwon chuckles from behind him, heading back to the register.
“You’re a pretty good dancer!” You obviously rush to say, trying to lessen the blow of embarrassment. Pursing his lips together, he clasps his hands and makes himself smile.
“What brings you in today?”
“The new Mario Kart, remember?”
Oh right, as if the scar forming on his leg wasn’t enough of a reminder. He walks with you over to the display, subtly checking out the sparkly gemstones on your bottoms that spell out ‘juicy’. Quickly darting his gaze away to not appear to be staring at your ass, he clears his throat. “You accidentally left the Charizard card at my desk by the way..”
“Wasn’t an accident.” You state confidently. Leaning against the new display with a copy of Mario Kart in hand. “By the way, did you read my thank you note?”
“Oh.” Clearing his throat, he tries to ignore the flush of heat rising up his cheeks. Leaning opposite of you on the display as well to see cool and calm. “Yeah, I did, uh.”
Think fast Heeseung. Don’t fuck this up.
“Actually, this weekend I am meeting up with one of my friends.” He informs, beginning to speak animatedly with his hands. “He needs help making a staff before we go back out to Eagle Stone next month.”
“What’s Eagle Stone?”
“Oh, it’s that place in the next town over I was telling you about before. Some of us who do live action roleplay meet out there once a month to update the game—“
“You mean larping, right?” You smirk, the sparkly lipgloss you have on really popping. Heeseung nervously licks his lips, reaching up to smooth his hair down onto his ears. 
“The drawing of your design, for your druid—“
“Druidess.” You correct, twirling your hair around one of your jewelry adorned fingers.
“Yes yes, uhm, your bow and arrow. If you want to come with us, I can help you with building it?” He suggests cautiously, preparing himself for your rejection.
“This weekend? You, me, and a friend of yours?” Tilting your head to one side curiously, your lips pout. “Where exactly are you going?”
“It’s this woodwork shop on the other side of town, not too far from here.” 
“Did you want to get coffee before?” Raising an eyebrow, you lean in closer. “Or like, after?”
Heeseung shrugs, shaking his head. “I don’t think so, I have to swing by to pick up Gyu first, and then I’m going to help him with his costume—“
“Oh okay,” you sigh, hiding the disappointment in your voice with a small smile. “Sounds cool, I’m free. Wanna text me the address?”
Holding your phone out for him, you motion for him to add his number to your contacts. Heeseung nods, smearing his palms down the front of his shirt before shakily typing in his number and shooting himself a text. The buzz in his pocket shivers up to his spine, switching on a lightbulb in his head.
He has your phone number now. This is progress.
“I’ll see you this weekend then, Heeseung. Maybe I’ll get lucky enough to see more of your moves.” You wink, standing up straight to head to the register and make a purchase. The reason you came in today, allegedly.
Breathily laughing, he imagines himself melting into a pool of goo for you to stomp through and splash around the walls. Using his mortification as paint for everyone to know how badly he could simply die right now. Not to be dramatic.
“I’ll text you the address.” He coughs, rubbing one of his cheeks on his shoulder in attempt to brush away his blush.
“I’ll be waiting.”
———————————-
“Why would you invite a girl?” Beomgyu huffs, arms crossed together tightly over his chest where he sits to Heeseung’s side.  
Reaching over to check his friend's seatbelt before he heads off, he groans, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. “She plays.”
“So what, you know I don’t do well with new people.”
Heeseung sighs, driving down to the freeway to get them across town to the craft store they frequent. He has some good coupons to put to use today to start working on a new cape and hat design. “She’s really easy to get along with, easy to talk to. I swear.”
“Whatever.” Beomgyu pouts, wrinkling between his eyebrows. Shifting his body away, he glares outside of the window and ices Heeseung out the entire drive over. Typical, he hates when plans change without at least a week’s notice. 
Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, Heeseung wonders what the hell he’s doing. You really seemed so excited over text, and kept mentioning different places to eat in the area that you’ve been wanting to try. He knows Beomgyu wouldn’t want to waste their day at some restaurant, especially with all of his allergies. He’s super cautious of trying out new places. 
As much as he’d love to spend more of this day with you, he already had to cancel on Gyu last weekend because Jake wouldn’t cover his shift. He can’t stop himself from thinking that he’s dropping the ball, not that he’s even sure he has it in his hands yet.
“We’re here.” He announces, setting the car into park. “Come on dude, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Truce?”
Beomgyu grumbles, sticking his pinky out for them to settle this little spat with the secret handshake they’ve been doing since they were kids. “Fine fine. She better be cool.”
Heeseung wants to assure him that you are, you’re very cool. Licking over his lips nervously he gets out of the car and immediately hones in on you leaning against a sleek all black jeep. A different car than the one you drove him home in. Also shinier and newer than the piece of junk he’s been driving ever since his parents gifted him a car for his 16th Birthday.
“Hey!” He says much too excitedly, clearing his throat. “I mean, glad you made it.”
Beomgyu lightly shoves into his side, maintaining the stance of his arms crossed to express his annoyance. “This is Gyu.” Laughing nervously he introduces the two of you. Quickly suggesting you both head into the store when Beomgyu doesn’t reciprocate your greeting.
“This is really cool, I didn’t want to head inside without you but I was searching around online.” You share, sticking to his side that Beomgyu isn’t occupying. “Haven’t done any really thought out crafting projects in a while.”
Heeseung motions for you to follow him over to the part of the store used to host classes. He’s been to a few with his friends before to learn more when it comes to building and crafting. Only, he was less interested in utilizing this new skill for furniture assimilation and more for making tools from scratch that could be useful during battle. He did also build a cat tower for Ddongy.
“Did you bring any sketches?” He asks, setting down the backpack he brought along.
“Yeah I did!” Beomgyu scoffs under his breath as you dig into your bag for a small sketchbook. Forcing an unimpressed frown when you open up the designs you’ve come up with for a bow and arrow.
“These are great!” Heeseung drags his finger over the sketches. Nodding and smiling big before snapping his fingers. “You want it to be fully functional?”
“Well, ideally yes.”
“Alright.” He hums, pinching his chin as the wheels in his head begin to spin. “Green wood is pretty flexible, will make your bow harder to break. But for shooting, if you’re really looking for speed, it’s not the best. You’d want properly dried wood for a real fast shooting bow.” Searching for a pen in his bag, he scribbles down a few notes on a blank page in your sketchbook.
“Wow, you really know what you’re talking about..” you breathily laugh. Raising his eyebrows to look at you, he gulps. The same rush of heat he felt at the store returns when he stares at your teeth digging into your plump bottom lip. Pursing his lips together to smile, he hopes his cheeks aren’t reflecting how hot they feel.
Hiding his nerves with a cough, he softly laughs. “Hah yeah..”
“Ugh.” Beomgyu groans, rolling his eyes. “I need a dried down wood for my staff. I don’t want anything flexible.” He huffs, nose scrunched.
“Gyu’s a warlock.” Heeseung informs, rubbing at his nape. “We’re making him one with a dragon on top because he’s kind of like Lord of the Rings obsessed. 
“It’s not a dragon, Heeseung!” Beomgyu exclaims, whipping out his phone to enlarge a photo. “It’s Sauron’s helmet!”
“Yeah but it looks like a dragon.” Heeseung mumbles.
“That’s soo cool. Oh my God, I bet it’s going to turn out awesome!” You compliment, turning the pages in your sketchbook. “I’m a druidess, wolf hybrid.”
Beomgyu frowns, refusing to admit that your sketches are really good. Even if he wants to ask you for tips and advice. “You know, a female druid.” You continue, snapping his round eyes to look at you.
“I know what a druidess is!” He grouches. “I wasn’t born yesterday!” Turning away, he stomps down through the closest aisle. Pretending to look at the different nail sizes, as if he knows the differences between any of them.
“Sorry about him, he can be a little—“
“It’s okay, I get it.” You nod, setting your sketchbook down again. “So, green wood? Is that what you were saying?”
Heeseung tries to ignore how your gaze continues to focus on him as he explains that you’ll need to debark and smooth down the wood to avoid getting splinters. Offering to measure everything for you to ensure the bow and arrow are a good size for your frame, he regrets his decision when you move to stand in front of him and arch forward with your chest perked out. “Like this?”
Moving his gaze away at lightning speed, he nervously laughs. Digging around to find his measuring tape, he moves behind you. “Actually, you should be in your shooting stance for the best configurations..”
“Oh, like this?” Posing as if you actually have a bow and arrow in your hold, you slightly bend at your knees. Turning your face to the side to peer at him from over your shoulder. Heeseung wishes he could pretend that his cheeks aren’t on absolute fire right now, darting his eyes to look at the floor, he nods. 
“Good form.”
“Thanks, I’m probably rusty.” You wink, flicking your hair away from your shoulder as you twist your neck to watch him measure the length of your back. Being careful to not actually touch you, he hovers above your shoulders to check the width. 
“You’re a bit small.” He notes, jotting down your inches.
“Is that a problem?” You ask, pouting.
Heeseung steps around, eyes going wide as he looks at your face. Slowly dragging his gaze lower to inspect just how small you are, much smaller than him. He could probably easily pick you up..
“Why would that be a problem?” Maybe he’s too much of a nitwit to fully grasp the smirk playing at your lips. And maybe he should actually listen to his friends instead of tuning them out when they try to help him understand how he could flirt better. “Must be fun, you could get tossed around in battle. Your body is the weapon.”
Biting down a smile, you raise an eyebrow as he begins to measure your arms. “Well I know wizards aren’t really useful in battle, imagine what a team we could be? Especially because you’re so strong and big.”
Heeseung dry swallows, stilling his hand before he starts to fan himself. “Me? Strong? Hah. Hardly.”
“Oh come on,” poking at his bicep, you slowly drag your finger down to his forearm. “Who needs to lift weights when you game all day?”
“Uh. I really only game at night.” Following your touch trailing down to his hand, he feels a shiver roll up his spine. Clenching his teeth as you step in closer until your chest is brushing against his. 
“We could practice.”
“Practice?” His eyebrows furrow, worried gaze finding yours of amusement. “Practice what?”
“You tossing me around.” Breathily laughing, you wrap around his wrist, lifting your hands up. “You kind of have big hands, bet they’d look huge holding on to me.”
“W-what?” He stutters, licking his lips. Fingers flexing as you set his palm against the center of your stomach and push for him to press against you.
“Wow. You really are big.”
What the hell is happening right now?! Are you still talking about teaming up to battle on the field?! Heeseung’s mouth feels even more dry now, as if he’ll breath out dust if he opens it. Giving himself a minute to think, he repeats your question. “Is that a problem?”
The smirk on your face grows into a smile. Glancing at his palm still flat against your stomach. “I like when it hurts.”
“Battle?!”
“Heeseung, I haven’t got all day!” Beomgyu returns to find you both still fucking around. Grunting and dropping the basket of items he’s acquired to kill time, he grabs onto the tallers shoulders and successfully manages to yank him away from you, thanks to his extra wobbly knees. “You know that I have to get home to give Jarvis his medication!”
Right. Jarvis. Beomgyu’s pet gerbil with high anxiety that he drops a ridiculous amount of money on to keep him calm with overpriced prescription meds. “Right, sorry Gyu.”
Flickering his gaze back and forth between your look of disappointment and his friends angrily furrowed eyebrows, he sighs. “I can make the bow for you, with these measurements. Might take me a few days ‘cause of work.”
“You don’t have to, Heeseung.”
“No no, I want to.” He nods eagerly, grabbing your sketchbook. “Can I borrow this? Just for reference.”
“Of course.” Smiling at him, you squeeze his arm. “That’s really nice of you. Don’t worry about the cost, I can cover it.”
Remembering the coupons in his pocket, he tells himself to find the best deals for supplies to make you the best bow and arrow. It takes another hour of Beomgyu glaring at the two of you rambling about different video games you both play, explaining all the different charms on your purse, how you already hate your new apartment because your neighbors are sooo rude and loud. 
Heeseung squints a bit when you mention your complex's name, swearing to himself that that’s a really expensive area only really wealthy people can afford to live in. Jungwon did say you don’t live too far from the store.. but for some reason he hadn’t assumed that meant you lived next to the Equinox and absurdly inflated grocery store next door to it ripping people off and selling twenty dollar smoothies.
Judging by the frustrated and annoyed sounds his friend continuously mutters as you walk through the store, he’s sure Beomgyu wouldn’t agree that you’re easy to talk to. Not that he has spoken to you much, leaving the conversation for only the two of you. Whether or not Gyu agrees, Heeseung can’t deny how his cheeks ache from smiling so much. Even reaching up to rub at them after laughing when you grab a hot glue gun because you need to fix a drawer set that keeps coming apart.
“You can’t use a hot glue gun for that!” Setting it back down, he counts over everything that he’s grabbed for his wizard hat and your bow and arrow. “I can help you build it, if you want.”
“Really?” You smile, clasping your hands together. “You wanna come over?”
“Ah, I can’t today, but maybe later this week?”
Agreeing on setting up another day for him to bring his box of tools over to repair the different boxes of furniture you’ve yet to properly set up, he has no time to let it sink in that he’ll have to be inside of your home. Too distracted by Beomgyu’s little comments and bickering, he decides it’s best to wrap up this shopping venture. 
“I’ll text you with updates.” He walks with you back to your car, holding up the large bag of items you purchased. “Progress photos and stuff.” 
“Great! I’ll see you soon then?” You ask hopefully, waiting for his answer with your driver door open. 
“Definitely sooner than later.” He agrees with a nod, waving you off before packing away the things you both bought into his backseat.
“Didn’t tell me you were inviting your girlfriend.” Beomgyu grumbles as he starts the car.
“What??”
“Not telling me that you’re dating someone is probably more annoying than springing a last minute change of plans, you know.”
“I-I’m not dating her.” He chuckles, eyeing his blushed cheeks in the rearview mirror. Damnit.
“Oh yeah? Then what the hell was that? Because it looked like a date to me, and I was the third wheel!” Scoffing, he lightly shoves Heeseung’s shoulder. “Where did you even find her?”
“I’m not dating anyone Gyu, swear. I would tell you!”
“Does Jake know?” He squints questioningly. Hinting at their rivalry, the two most opposite people he could ever come to know, both being his best friends.
“She comes into the store, that’s how we met.” He clarifies, getting onto the freeway.
“Pft, so he does know.”
“Not technically, we aren’t dating.”
———————————-
Lord Farquaad: ‘Change of plans. We are dating. I think.’
Heeseung grimaces when he sees the username his best friend has him saved under pop up on the screen. Huffing and rolling his eyes.
‘And change that username!! I do not look like fucking Lord Farquaad!!’
DewtheGyu: ‘What the fuck do you mean that you’re dating?! Ugh!’ Quickly rushing to log off from his stream. He calls up Heeseung on discord, immediately met with panic on his face.
“Gyu, it’s—“
“You were lying to me!”
“I wasn’t!! Okay?! I got on live and was talking about everything that happened today and one thing led to another!” Heeseung grabs at chunks of his hair. Pulling tendrils between his fingers with wrinkles lining his forehead. “One of my viewers was really encouraging me to ask her out. So I texted her! And she actually said yes!”
“One of you viewers?!” Beomgyu scoffs. “Who?! Jake?!”
“No no, it’s a new viewer, they’ve been really nice.” Squinting at his closed stream chat, he reads off the username. “Lycanthrope goddess, something like that. I didn’t actually think she’d say yes..”
Beomgyu grunts, glaring at his webcam. “Well! What exactly happened!”
“I texted her, asking if she has plans tomorrow night.” Heeseung recounts, opening his phone to your messages. “And she said she doesn’t.. so I asked if she’d maybe wanna check out that Round One bowling arcade place at the mall after I’m off from work, of course.”
“Ugh, I love Round One.”
“Yeah, me too.” Heeseung nods, smoothing his messy hair. “She—she said yes, that she’d love to go with me.”
“That’s—that’s really good?” Beomgyu mutters, leaning forward with his chin resting on the backs of his hands. “And you really are telling me before Jake?”
“Yes!” Heeseung squeaks, rolling his eyes. “Dude I haven’t been on a date in so long. I don’t know what to do!”
Beomgyu nods, inspecting his friends hunched over defeated position on his computer screen. “I’m coming over, this calls for a makeover.”
“A what?!”
“I dunno, they do it in movies and it always works. As your best friend, I’m going to set you up for success Hee.”
———————————-
Whistles greet him as he arrives to work the next day. Feeling more confident than usual, he walks in with a cup of coffee, managing to keep this one intact and not spilled all over a sidewalk and his jeans.
“Who the hell killed Heeseung?” Jake jeers, stepping out from behind the register to get a good look at him. “And who is this?”  
Jungwon blinks over and over again, checking him out from head to toe. “What the hell? What’s that smell?”
Heeseung sniffs the air around himself, sipping his warm coffee. “Used an Amber body wash this morning, I don’t know..”
“You showered? Before work?” Jake raises an eyebrow, circling around him with his arms crossed over his chest. “And you cut your hair, those are new shoes, wore all of your ear piercings too.”
“Is that eyeliner?” Jungwon gets up close to his face, hiking up on his tiptoes. “What the—“
“I have a date.” He says with a small smile, furrowing his eyebrows. “I think.”
“You think?!” Jake dusts him off, whistling again. “You sly dog, please tell me it’s with that hottie that keeps coming in here to flirt with you.”
“She’s not flirting with me.” He rubs at his nape nervously, carrying around the Charizard card you haggled to get him in his pocket. Burning a hole through the material of his pants where it’s pressed to his thigh, in a sturdy card holder, of course. “But yes, I—I asked her out.”
“You asked her out first?” Jake guffaws, smirking. “Now I’m even more impressed.”
“And she said yes?” Jungwon squints, sliding the tip of his finger across the row of hoop earrings lining his earlobe. “You have to make the first move, alright?”
“That’s uhm, kind of what I was hoping we could talk about.” Clearing his throat, he straightens his back out. Rolling his shoulders to appear confident. “It’s been a good while since I’ve gone on a date and I don’t want to blow this.”
Jake hums, pointing at Jungwon and snapping his fingers. “Roleplaying, you’ll be the girl.”
“Ugh! Why do I always have to be the girl?!”
“Because you get on live and rub your nipples for horny fangirls who send you money.” Jake sneers, motioning for them to follow him over to the register. “Heeseung, think about it this way, you already roleplay all of the time. You just have to pretend you’re.. not yourself.”
“But, why would I do that?” He questions, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Am I not good enough?”
“Not really.” Jungwon adds, frowning. “I mean, she’s really hot, and you need to get laid dude.”
As expected, Beomgyu was great at fixing his hair, choosing a well put together outfit that wouldn’t take him too far out of his comfort zone. Helping him pick out what jewelry to adorn his ears with, and even encouraging him to wear a little makeup to cover his blemishes and enhance his most attractive feature.
‘Eyes, girls love eyes. Especially big giant simpy Bambi eyes like yours.’ That’s what he said when Heeseung complained and poked himself with a kohl pencil for the third time this morning while they facetimed and his best friend gave him the last approval on his look.
Jake and Jungwon would be the ones to cover everything else. From the way he greets you, how he walks, when to grab the door for you, what he should pay attention to and how he should ease into flirtation. They spent the rest of the day between assisting customers testing out different scenarios.
What if she wants to eat? What if she’s better at gaming than you? What if she compliments you? 
What to do when you start dropping hints, and maybe even invite him over to your place after.
“D-do you really think she’d do that? Isn’t it too soon for a nightcap?” He asks nervously, tugging at the collar of his oversized hoodie.
“Good God man,” Jake sighs, clasping his shoulders. “Whatever you do, don’t ever call a girl inviting you to her place a nightcap, please.”
“I guess it wouldn’t be the worst idea. Gyu said he’d come over to feed and watch Ddongy for a bit while I’m out..”
“I could have done that too.” Jake mumbles, brushing it off quickly when Heeseung reminds him that he’ll need to close the store today since he’s heading out a little earlier than usual. 
“Listen, you already made it this far, Heeseung.” Jungwon interrupts them, shooting him a thumbs up. “If she’s into you enough to do some loser shit like go to a mall arcade, then I think you’re solid. Just try to stay cool.”
He grumbles, checking his phone to reply to your texts letting him know you’re ready whenever he is. “Do I look okay?”
“You look great buddy,” Jake smiles, a proud gleam in his eye. “Better than ever. Remember that confidence is key!”
Right. Confidence. Because that’s something that just sprouts up overnight. Replaying all of the advice and tips his friends gave him today, he drives a few blocks down from the store toward your place. The nice rich side of town, making his anxiety rise higher as he enters your street and his jaw drops as he parks at your apartment building. 
A brand new complex with condominium’s starting at prices light years out of his range. You must really make a good amount from streaming, or maybe your parents are rich. Maybe that’s something you can discuss over a basket of fries and onion rings.
No. No onion rings, that could make his breath smell bad. Right right, Jake said to avoid smelly foods. Fries should be fine, even as his tummy rumbles and he slowly walks down the hallway on the first floor as you directed him through text messages, stopping at your front door with a cat shaped welcome mat, winking at him teasingly.
Wait. That’s not a Goddamn cat, that’s Hello Kitty winking at him. You have a Hello Kitty welcome mat, cute.
“You made it!” The door flies open without him even having to knock. He had texted you after parking to let you know that he’d arrived, but getting too distracted by Hello Kitty winking at him, he nervously chuckles, hoping the cologne Beomgyu let him borrow doesn’t make your nose turn up in disgust. “Oh..”
“What? What is it?” He asks in a rush of panic, rubbing his cheek against his shoulder. He subtly tries to steal a deep breath.
“You just..” taking a small step back, you grab onto the door handle. A smile slowly spreads across your face. “You look really good.”
“Oh, well.” Squeezing his eyes shut for a second too long, he snaps them back open to take in what you’ve decided to wear for this date he still isn’t 100% is an actual date. “Wow.”
“Wow?” Smiling larger, you shove at his chest. “Is that a compliment?”
“No no! I uh, you also look great! In fact, you look,” he swallows, gaze flickering back to your face. “Pretty.”
“You know,” locking the door behind you, you adjust the strap of your purse digging into your shoulder. “It’s nice to see you outside of your work uniform. I could get used to this.”
Heeseung can feel his cheeks heating up, now grateful for the cushion compact Beomgyu insisted he borrow. He motions to head down the hallway toward his car, digging his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie for something to do with them. “It’s a rare sight.”
“You work a lot, don’t you?” 
Before he can answer you, he nearly trips over his own feet to get ahead of you. Rushing to open the passenger seat door for you. Jungwon suggested that it’d be a nice touch to show off what a gentleman he is. “Nice car.” You playfully smile, getting inside and grabbing the seatbelt before he can. Not that he had planned to help you put it on, but he definitely thought about it..
Running over to the driver side, he hops in. Biting down on his lip as he revs up the engine and the sound of guitar emits from his speakers. Slamming the power off before vocals can come through, he laughs under his breath and starts to pull out.
“Oh come on! We’re not seriously about to sit in silence this whole drive? I don’t live that close to the mall.” You tease, thankfully sounding completely unserious as you reach to turn his music back on.
Why did he have to be blasting the nerdiest band of all time?! His fucking Lord of the Rings power metal music of all things? Couldn’t he have just found some basic top 40 crap to leave humming at a low volume? No, of course not, he had to keep himself calm with aggressive melodic guitar.
“Oh my God, is this Blind Guardian??” You ask, turning the dial up higher.
Heeseung’s eyes could pop out of their sockets, focusing on the road to prevent that from happening, he grips onto the steering wheel. “You listen to Blind Guardian?!”
“Gosh, I haven’t in years!” Leaning back, you start to sing along. “Valhalla! Deliverance! Why you’ve ever forgotten me? Woahhhhhh! Valhalla!”
There’s no way. No way in this fucking universe that the girl he’s taking out on a date, maybe a date, is seriously belting out one of his favorite songs while sitting in the passenger seat of his dingy car. To add onto it, you’re air drumming, tossing your hair from side to side as you shake your head along to the music. “Can’t believe you tried to turn off Guardian! We have to start it from the beginning, I missed my favorite part!”
Heeseung gulps as you hit rewind, taking a deep breath to look over at you drumming your fingers playing what can only be described as condemnable air guitar. His friend Jay would throw you in jail if he ever saw this.
“You listening to Guardian makes a lot of sense.” You laugh, smiling at him. “So many centuries! So many Gods! We were the prisoners of our own fantasies, but now we are marching against these Gods!” Pointing at him to take the next line, he hears Jake repeating confidence to him all day in the back of his mind.
“I’m the wizard! I will change it all!”
Heeseung can feel his cheeks burning from smiling before he realizes it, drumming on the steering wheel as he breaks into the chorus with you. “Ohhhhh-ohhh! Valhalla!”
The rest of the drive goes smoother than he could have ever expected as you reminisce about all of the bands you used to heavily listen to. “God I really do need to start digging up my old playlists again. Forgot how amazing Blind Guardian is.”
“They’re probably one of my favorite bands.” He admits, feeling much more comfortable after shouting along to Mirror Mirror with you for the last five minutes until his throat started to feel hoarse. 
“We need to go see them live together.” You state, continuing to bob your head along to the music.
That’d be amazing, perfect even. Not he’s ready to admit that. Opting to nod as he enters the mall’s parking lot and makes his way to the closests entrance that gets you to Round One. He would know, having spent many weekends here with his friends losing out on any of his extra coins from reselling his old games and memorabilia, and having to pay for rounds of pizza and beer.
“We’re here.” He announces, removing his seatbelt.
“Great! I’m so ready to kick your ass at Mortal Kombat!”
Heeseung laughs, not actually believing it when you wrap around his wrist and lead him straight to the Mortal Kombat arcade machine, shoving coins in to play before he can stop you. “Oh, you’re serious.”
“As a heart attack baby.”
Too busy blushing over the term of endearment you randomly just threw out, he misses how you grab onto his control stick and choose Scorpion for him to play as. “About to kick your sweet little ass worse than Riwoo did.”
“Hey!” He frowns, shooing your hand off. He would have at least chosen Liu Kang! Especially since you went with Sub-Zero!
“Oh come on, Liu Kang is so played out. Scorpion vs Sub-Zero is classic.” You point out, showing off a more aggressive side that shocks him for a moment before locking himself back in. Get your head in the game.
Not that it matters after three consecutive rounds of you(Sub-Zero) beating his ass to a pulp. His shoulders full on slump as another ‘Finish him!’ Sounds from the speakers and a group of high school boys playing air hockey nearby snicker and laugh. “Alright, I think I have to accept defeat. You are the true Mortal Kombat master.” 
“I know that’s right.” Proudly raising your arms in the air, you start to cheer for yourself. Gasping and going wide-eyed as you turn. “Oh my God!”
“What? What happened?” He looks around worriedly, following your line of sight to the brightly lit up claw machines.
“It’s a freaking labubu claw machine!!” You jump up and down, once again grabbing his wrist and tugging him to the other side of the arcade. Heeseung’s neck snaps, looking around in confusion. 
“What is a…la boo boo?”
“Labubu!” You shriek, bringing him over to a machine full of the ugliest little gremlins he’s ever seen. “They’re these monsters, I’m obsessed with them!” Running your fingers over the machine’s glass window, you let out cute little sounds the same way Heeseung does when Ddongy rolls over to show him his belly. “I love them so much! Ohmygod I’ve never seen one of these before! And they always sell out so fast! I never have time to buy any new drops! Ahh I need them all!”
He digs into his pocket, ready to pay however much it will take to grant you that wish. Looking down, he nearly swallows his tonsils. “Thirty bucks to play?!”
“That’s not that bad,” you mumble, already digging into your purse. “Labubu’s are really high in demand right now!”
He can’t say he’s the best at claw machines, but he definitely managed to win a Pickachu plushie once in the past. Mewling over his odds, he starts to strategize, counting all the different ugly little toys inside of the machine. “How many do you want?”
“As many as I can get.” You state, not even bothering to wait before shoving in three $10 bills and manning the claw. “Ideally all of them.”
Ah, he really needs to pay attention. Jake told him paying attention would be extra important. He should be the one trying to win you one of these booboo things right now. “All of them..” he trails off counting how many of them there are. At least 25 different plushies stare back at him with their buggy eyes and weird round teeth, shivering as they taunt him and your claw fails to grab any.
30 times 25.. that’s at least $800 and it’s nearing the end of the month. Rent’s due next week for the store and his apartment, his phone bill, garbage and water, electricity..
He can do one round, using the other $40 in his pocket to buy you some food and maybe rent bowling shoes so you can play and he can at least try to impress you with his athleticism. Not that he has any.
“Aw man!” Readying yourself to waste another $30, Heeseung taps your forearm, gently nudging you aside. 
“I’ll try.”
“You don’t have to!”
“I want to.” He nods, rolling his shoulders before paying. “That furry pink one in the middle that’s looking at me like it’s going to meet in my dreams and bite my head off, kind of matches your outfit.”
“It’s really cute.” You clap, cheering him on as he begins to maneuver the claw around and gets it to the middle. Pacing his breathing, he slowly draws it down right above the ugly pink thing, meticulously moving it open right as he gets close enough. The air goes still around him, hearing the sound of you taking one long deep breath to hold as the claw clamps around its head and fails to lift the plushie from the machine.
Heeseung can’t believe it, $60 between the two of you gone in less than 10 minutes. The claw retracts and sits back in its original spot. Dropping his forehead on the glass you’d just been tapping in shock, he tenses and glares at the toys continuing to smile and mock him. Loser.
“Ahh.. that was so close,” you lament, rubbing his shoulder. “It’s okay Hee, thank you for trying!”
Stupid little ugly toy. Why couldn’t you just stay put! He wishes he could shout, clenching his fists and pulling himself away from the machine, he apologizes. “I can try again..”
“No no, it’s okay! I’m kind of hungry.” You obviously lie, glancing at the machine sorrowfully. He sighs and waves for you to follow him over to the concession stand. 
Fries. Stick to fries. They don’t get caught in your teeth, hardly leave any smell behind, and you won’t look like a gross slob eating them. Jungwon’s advice.
And that seems simple enough until you ask for corn dogs, extra ketchup, two large sodas, and cotton candy. Heeseung’s more than happy to pay for everything, it’s not about that, but now he’s worried about each bite he takes, dabbing his lips constantly to make sure he hasn’t smeared ketchup and ranch around his mouth.
“This has been really fun.” You start to say after scarfing down a couple of bites of food. Adorably, puffing your cheeks out as you chew and ketchup stains your lips, he knows it wouldn’t reflect the same on him. “Most of my friends live kind of far away now, so I’ve been a little scared to explore around by myself.”
“Can I ask why you moved out here? Just because it’s a little boring..” he says shyly, cleaning off his hands and pushing the rest of his corn dog aside to nurse the straw of his drink between his lips. 
“Well,” you shrug, laughing. “Unironically, my last relationship ended sort of badly. It’s a long story but, I kind of wanted a fresh start, away from him and all the crap that came along with him.”
“Oh..”
“Yeah, I know. Boring, typical story. Girl running away from her past.” You sigh, picking at the bubblegum flavored cotton candy you chose.
“Nothing wrong with that.” He shrugs, chewing on his bottom lip. “Probably not looking to jump into anything too soon..”
Pressing the wet sugary specks of dissolved cotton candy between two of your fingers, you slowly lift your gaze to his. “I think that depends more on meeting the right person.”
“Yeah, no, definitely.” He agrees, stealing a chunk of fluffy cotton candy to stuff his mouth with and stop himself from uttering something stupid he won’t be able to backtrack from.
“You got a little—“ dragging your thumb from the corner of his mouth to the plushy middle of his wet bottom lip, you softly press down. “A little of it on your cheek.”
And yet somehow, you completely avoided touching his cheek as you sweep across his bottom lip to the other end. Drawing your thumb over to your mouth to lick clean.
Heeseung mentally curses, eyes fluttering shut. “Wanna bowl?”
“Love to!”
Luckily for him, he does manage to win a few rounds. Exhausting yourselves with laughter as you throw the bowling ball into other lanes and miss every pin one too many times. You fall down to sit next to him, wiping at the tears collecting at the corners of your eyes. “Ah, should probably head out soon. Work early in the morning.” He mutters, trying to mask his sadness with a tight-lipped smile.
“Nah, it’s getting pretty late. Totally understand, besides, I’m sure Ddongy is missing his daddy a lot right now.” You wink, racing him out to his car before he can grab the passenger door for you.
“Ddongy’s a big boy now, he can handle a few hours alone.” He assures you, lowering the volume of his music to make it easier to chat as he drives you home. Catching a glimpse of himself in the driver’s mirror, he cringes at the hint of blush spread on his cheeks. At least it’s dark enough outside now to hopefully diminish his flushed face.
“I’ll walk you.” He says, parking and rushing out to fully open your door before you manage to step out. Once again tucking his hands inside of the front pocket of his hoodie, he slowly follows the path down to your condo at the end of the hall. Noting that this place has a full luxury sized pool, and enormous well-equipped gym. He never did get around to asking you about how successful your online streams are.
“This is me.” You say, leaning against your front door. Smiling from ear to ear as you peer up at him. “Thank you again, for tonight. I really had a good time.”
“Was a lot of fun.” He beams, tugging at his fingers inside of his pocket. “Coming by the store any time soon?”
“Heeseung.”
Dragging his gaze from the platform sneakers you have on to the fuzzy cozy sweat hanging from your shoulders, he blinks a few times at the necklace pendant sitting nicely between your collarbone. Dry swallowing as he cracks his knuckles and his eyes meet yours. The same sensation of nausea he’s been battling since last week hits him, sweat trickling down his spine, and before he can inhale a deep breath, you push off the door and cover his lips with yours.
The instant feeling of floating off of his feet would make him believe that he’s dreaming. Melting against your soft mouth that perfectly slots between the seam of his lips. Lightly sucking at the soft fleshy meat that fills his bottom lip. You’re more controlling over the kiss than he can manage to be, drawing his hands free to hold them out by your sides, his fingers clench. Unsure if he should grab you, touch you, if he’s allowed to place his hands on your body.
It’s your figure that presses up against his first, smoothing your hands over his forearms, you wrap them around your waist. Pushing up onto your toes to deepen the kiss. He snaps out of his lucid state, eyelashes fluttering as his eyebrows furrow together and he lays his palms on your waist. Dropping his neck in closer to really press his lips against yours.
The first time he ever kissed a girl was during preschool, at the top of a slide. He sat down by her side and she planted a wet smooch on his cheek before giggling and gliding down to run away and tell her group of friends. He sat in shock for a few minutes touching over his face. He wouldn’t feel another kiss until middle school, spin the bottle, and then high school, at the skatepark. Parties he wasn’t invited to in the first place, meaningless lips that pressed against his and never held anything worth remembering.
But this kiss with you has his heart palpitating, fingers shaking where they rest on your waist. He wants to remember everything about this. How your lips eagerly continue to rub against his even as you gasp for air, and how the sweet scent of whatever body wash you used still wafts around him even after hours of wear. 
He wants to remember all of this. 
So much so that he’s retracing everything, your gaze, the taste of your lipgloss, how your lips slot against his so seamlessly.
“Night night.”
Snapping out of his daze, his eyes flutter open, going wide as he finds you backing up against the open door to head inside. He must look like a fish out of water, blubbering to speak with his shiny lips, glittering with the residue of your overpriced lip gloss.
“Goodnight..” he whispers, reaching up to graze his bottom lip. The disbelief of what just happened not moving fast enough for him to hide his shock.
“I’ll see you soon.” You whisper back with the most elated smile. Barely waving before stepping inside and shutting the door. Leaving him to slump against the nearest wall and let out the biggest sigh.
There’s no way that just happened.
But it did, you kissed him. You went on a date with him..
You like him.
———————————-
Cats must really have some type of telepathic power.
Ddongy gently presses a paw to Heeseung’s cheek, much later than he typically would. Allowing for his owner, cat daddy, to actually sleep until his alarm goes off. Squinting his eyes open, he can’t stop a huge smile from spreading across his face. Scooping Ddongy up in his arms to feed him, he buries his face into his shoulder, already feeling a rush of heat itch at his ears. 
All night he dreamt of the different dates he wants to take you on. How he really needs to crack down and finish your bow soon. The pictures you could get together at Eagle Stone. Maybe he could even take you to one of his favorite manga cafes.. although, it’d be so hard to not slurp a cup of ramen around you.
“Ddongy, you seem as happy as I am.” He laughs, squatting down to scratch the kitten's head. “Wait until the guys hear about this.”
Making himself a cup of coffee for work, he gets ready, taking extra time to smile and lightly bang his forehead against something every time he thinks about your kiss. 
The last time he felt this way.. was probably the first time he ever played League of Legends. Or maybe when he saw Faker from a distance one time at a convention.
No, no, this is even better.
This is what real magic must feel like. As lame as he knows that would be to say out loud, he can’t stop belting out and singing along to his Blind Guardian playlist. Imagining you failing at air guitar by his side as he heads to work.
He can’t wait to tell Jake and Jungwon everything! And Beomgyu, of course, he owes him for coming over to feed Ddongy last night.
“Guys!” He practically runs into the store, spinning around with his tumblr full of coffee held high above his head. “It was a date! An amazing date!”
Jake applauds, clapping his hands together dramatically loud. “Dude you have no idea how happy I am for you. Like I could not have manifested this harder for you!”
“Heeseung, this is great news.” Jungwon cheers, his dimpled cheeks on full display. “Because I have to show you something that is going to blow your mind.” Running to the front door, he turns the ‘Open’ sign to ‘Close’.
“Won, what the hell are you doing?!” Heeseung shouts, blocked by Jake’s frame before he can turn it back around.
“Trust us man, you’re going to need a while to process this.”
“What are you guys going on about?!”
“Your office,” Jungwon nods, snapping his fingers and heading to the back as Jake wraps around his arm and drags him along. “You see, it’s been bothering me for days. Your little girlfriend, I knew I’d seen her somewhere before.”
“You are not going to believe this dude.” Jake chuckles, following Jungwon to stand at the doorway of Heeseung’s shoebox excuse of an office as he logs onto the computer. 
“She’s not my girlfriend, yet..” he mumbles. Trying to keep in mind the awful relationship you mentioned just getting out of..
“After this, you’ll at least have to fuck her.” Jake pats his chest, flicking his chin for him to look at the screen.
“You see, I joined OF as a joke a couple of months ago because my viewers kept insisting.” Jungwon continues to explain, opening up a page with a listing of the top ranked models. “And one of the more popular accounts I noticed because of her strategy, she preys on needy loser gamer guys. Smart though, because she’s definitely making bank. She’s in the top 1%, not some easy shit either trust me.”
“What are you talking about, Won?” Heeseung huffs annoyed, glaring at the break room door as he plans how to escape and re-open the store.
“Look familiar?”
Jake grabs his chin, jerking his head back around to the newly opened page displaying various photos of you in different wigs and colored contacts, scantily clad costumes that hardly cover up any of your body. String micro bikinis, mini skirts that could pass more as belts, and crop tops that do a poor job of fully covering your chest. “Your girls an OF model, a fucking successful one too.” Jake adds, nodding to the screen. “Not only is she hot as fuck, but she’s rolling in money. Probably wiping her sweet little ass with hundred dollar bills.”
The two of his friends go on continuing to make vile comments, scrolling down the page to open up more previews meant to entice potential subscribers. Leaving Heeseung with his jaw on the floor, slowly beginning to shake his head. “T-that’s not her..”
“That’s not her?” Jungwon laughs, pointing out the cat ear headset you purchased at the store only a week ago. “Come on dude, these are modern times. Dating an OF baddie is like a badge of honor. You’re going to get so much pussy after this!”
“Unless,” Jake says mischievously, squeezing Heeseung’s arm much too excitedly. “The date was amazing because you already did!!”
“What?!”
Jungwon stands up, pointing at the screen. “I’m not subscribed but I’m thinking about it. Would give us an idea of what she’s really looking for in a guy.”
Heeseung shoves his chest, gripping onto his uniform vest to switch their positions and take his place inside of the office. “This is not her! And even if it is! She never told me! This is a violation of privacy!”
“Not really! You were bound to find out eventually!” Jake corrects, grabbing his shoulders. “Listen to me man! Please, for once! You really have nothing going for you!”
Jungwon sighs, nodding and agreeing. “This girl, she likes you! She really does! I don’t know, maybe you’re her type. But she’s successful and hot, soo fucking hot!” He whines, eyes full of despair. “Heeseung, this is your chance man! Even after she saw you have your ass handed to you by some kid, she still wants you!”
“That was pretty crazy, and she’s into your streams.” Jungwon adds.
“W-what?!” Pushing Jake off, he clicks out of the browser still flashing lewd images of your body. Gripping at his head and rubbing his temples. “She doesn’t know about my streams.”
“She does.” Jake says, tightly smiling. “Because I told her.”
“You what?!”
“It was when you were busy fighting that kid over a Pokémon card!! She really wanted to talk to you, so I mentioned that you stream!” Jake rambles, hands flailing. “She’s that lyncanthropegoddess or whatever. She’s hot but she’s just as much of a loser as you.”
Slumping back into his office chair, he stares at the ceiling in disbelief. Wracking his brain and trying to understand all of this information being thrown at him. “I can’t do this.”
“You can, you definitely can.” Jungwon squats down, grabbing onto his knees. “And we’re going to help you.”
“How?” He fears to ask, looking back and forth between his friends.
“Trust us, we know how to handle women with experience like this.”
“First, we have to subscribe to her onlyfans.” Reaching past him, Jungwon opens up the screen again. “Like I said, it’ll give us a better idea of what she’s into. Think of this almost like a dating profile. It’s rare for people to meet authentically anymore you know, if you had lurked around like any normal person you would have figured this out sooner!”
“This feels wrong.” He sighs, forcing himself to keep his eyes on the computer screen. “She told me she’s a streamer..”
“I mean, she’s definitely streaming something on here.” Jake whistles, shoving himself into the minuscule amount of space behind Heeseung’s chair. 
“I tell girls about my OF, but you know, I meet them online.” Jungwon shrugs, choosing the subscription that mentions 18+ adult content in the description. “Maybe I wouldn’t if it was someone I met here at the store.”
“I would hope not..” Heeseung mumbles, stopping Jungwon before he can enter his payment information and finalize the purchase.
“Don’t be a dick about it Hee, if I just found out the girl that’s been drooling over me does porn I’d be bouncing off of these fucking walls!” Jake shouts, pushing against the backs of his shoulders. “So ungrateful.”
“I’m not ungrateful, I just really like her.” He mutters, releasing Jungwon’s hand to complete buying the subscription.
“Love that for you dude, but she still does porn.” Rubbing his hands together, he opens up the rest of your profile. “Well, good news.”
“What?” Heeseung fears to ask, covering his eyes.
“She only posts solo work. Nothing with guys..” 
“Hey, this is some good shit though. Click that one with all the hentai girl body pillows.” 
“Jungwon, do not open that!” Heeseung moves forward to cover the screen. Headlocked in place against his chair by Jake’s arm circling around his neck.
“Too late.” Jungwon grins. Expanding the video to show you in a thin metallic pink two-piece. Again, not covering much at all. “Yeah, this is good stuff. I mean, she’s built like—“
“Jungwon.”
“I’m just saying! Happy for you, that’s all. You totally deserve to find a, uh, nice girl like this.”
“I really don’t want to watch anymore.” 
“Fine, we will and we’ll report back to you.” Jake squeezes his neck, fluffing his hair. “The fact that you didn’t get laid after your first date is all I need to know.”
“Did she even invite you to come inside? Jungwon raises an eyebrow, clicking out of your account.
“No, but..”
“Exactly. That’s why you need to listen to us.” Releasing him, Jake moves to get out of the office. Snapping his fingers at Jungwon. “Come on, we have work to do.”
———————————-
Friends are supposed to give each other advice, right?
That’s what friends are for, and whenever Heeseung has had unanswerable questions, he does turn to his friends for guidance.
Maybe he shouldn’t have been too quick to hear out Jake and Jungwon’s advice when they opened up a discord chat a few hours after dropping a bomb on him to discuss what they found while sleuthing through your.. adult entertainment account.
IKEUDICKEU: ‘Can’t believe you just said goodnight after all that. What are you, gay? I would have nailed her.’
PrettyKittyBoy9669: ‘Her entire schtick is about how horny she is. Like she masturbates a lot, has the girl goon nickname down. Says she desperately needs a nerdy gamer guy to fuck her until she goes blind.’
IKEUDICKEU: ‘And here your ass was, goodnight muah muah.’
Had they successfully made him feel like a stupid failure with their advice? Yes, 1000%
That’s where Beomgyu came in. He’s the more sensible and reliable friend. The only reason he doesn’t work at the store is because he actually went into a field that utilized his degree. 
Yeah, real sensible. Especially when he completely cosigns all of Jake and Jungwon’s advice.
Not necessarily that he should have tried to get in your pants on the very first date you had, but you did initiate the kiss. You did come onto him first, and you were tuning in to watch his lame ass streams..
Not to mention that fucking Charizard card?! 
‘Heeseung, don’t be an imbecile. She wants you.’
You really had listened to him yap on about Dungeons and fucking Dragons.. how could he be so oblivious?
Luckily, he remembered that you still needed help assembling a few pieces of furniture. So he suggested coming over after work the next day to start working on that, bring over a new game you could play, maybe watch the extended director's cut version of The Fellowship of The Ring. Suggesting everything before you could even respond, he nervously ran around his apartment when you texted back.
‘Yes! Yes! And YES!!’
He’s going to be inside of your place, where you film.. those videos. And he’s likely going to kiss you again, and.. more.
“Shit.” He sighs, rinsing his face over and over again. When’s the last time he shaved his nuts? Who cares, he’s doing it today. Maybe not the best idea after he replies and lets you know he’ll be over in an hour.
Cologne, some eyeliner, earrings, wash his hair. Right, everything Beomgyu told him to do before your date. Sure, he hadn’t mentioned spending an extra few minutes grooming his privates in the shower, but he’s sure you’d be more than appreciative that he did..
MysticWizardFate1015: ‘I really don’t know if I can do this guys.’
IKEUDICKEU: ‘Of course you can. You got this. Be the man.’
PrettyKittyBoy9669: ‘First off, act like you don’t like her, like she’s not that important to you.’
IKEUDICKEU: ‘Try to get her drunk too, that way the real nasty porn star comes out of her.’
PrettyKittyBoy9669: ‘Last and most important, always be touching her. That’s gonna let her know that you’re there to dick her down.’
IKEUDICKEU: ‘I swear to God dude, if you don’t fuck her, I’m going to hang myself!’
Heeseung clears his dry throat, looking at the bottle of Jim Beam in one hand and his precious copy of Lord of The Rings in his other. Taking a deep breath, he knocks on your door.
This is it, now or never.
“Hey! You got here so fast!” You answer, as gorgeous as ever. Dressed more comfortably with low-rise yoga pants that show off the smooth skin under your navel. A cropped sweater hanging from your shoulders, soft and glowy shoulders bathed in decadent lotion, he’s sure. 
“Oh yeah, traffic must have died down.” Or he rushed through side streets and skipped stop signs while panicking trying to imagine how this could go. Will he kiss you first this time? Will you invite him into your bedroom?..
“Is that bourbon?” You laugh, face scrunched. 
“Yeah, it’s uh, my favorite.” Not really, but Jake suggested he bring a high percentage of alcohol to speed this up. Not that he’s sure why he’d have to get you drunk at all.
“Oh, well, I don’t really drink.” Moving aside to invite him in, he takes a deep breath and gulps as he looks around your place. Everything is pristine, feminine, smells clean and floral. Makes his apartment seem so embarrassing in comparison, he can’t believe he let you see the shit hole he calls home now. “But I guess uhm, I can get you a glass?”
“Yeah sure whatever.” He shrugs, kicking his shoes off to leave by your door.
Act like she doesn’t matter.
The confusion dissipates as your face relaxes, squinting at him. You take the bottle of bourbon from him, looking him up and down. “Everything okay?”
“Huh? Yeah, everything’s fine. You want to uh, watch the movie first?” Rubbing the back of his head, he stretches his other arm out holding the DVD. “Or whatever.”
“Yeah, uhm,” you frown. Forcing a smile and nodding to the living room with an enormous TV screen and enviable console setup. “You can use the Wii, I don’t have a DVD player.” Oh wow, you don’t even have a DVD player? And yet you still agreed for him to come over to watch a movie. That’s a good sign, for sure means you’re down to fuck..
Even as he slides his fingers through some of the games you must have been playing he doesn’t feel right thinking that. But if he tells his friends that he came over and just watched a movie with you, they’ll chop his head off.
Not that that should matter. He should be more focused on you right now. How you’re feeling after your date, if you’re down to go out again and let him prove that he’s not an absolute failure at Mortal Kombat if he can choose his character.
“I got some Coke.” You announce, coming back to the living room with the bourbon in hand and a pitcher of dark liquid. “Not sure if you wanted a mixer but I might gag if I try to take a shot.”
“That’s good, thanks.” With twitching fingers he takes the pitcher from your hand, dragging them across yours. “You look really pretty, by the way.”
The same sparkle that had been in your eyes the other night returns, tucking your chin and batting your eyelashes. “Thank you.”
To keep touching you, he sets down the bottle you’re holding. Taking both of your hands and rubbing your knuckles. “What are you thinking about?”
“I haven’t watched Fellowship in a while honestly. I’m a little worried that you’ll judge me.” You chuckle, squeezing his hands.
“Never, I’d never do that.” Heart palpitations again. Pounding at his chest, he glances around, grabbing the bottle of bourbon to drink directly from, sealing his lips to not spit it out, he turns away from you and grimaces. Why the fuck would Jake suggest this?!
“Oh, you okay?”
“Yeah yeah! Start the movie! I need to use the bathroom real quick.”
“Okay..” fuck you sound so confused, maybe even turned off. How is he fucking up already?! “It’s just down the hall.”
“I won’t be long! Go ahead and start without me!” He rushes down the direction you point toward. Taking a deep breath once he makes it out of the living room and sees all of the art hanging on your walls. Really how could you possibly be into him after seeing how he lives. Meeting him at his job, Gamestop, of all places. Caught up in his thoughts, he opens the first door that he sees out of his peripheral vision. Very evidently not the bathroom, but a room he immediately recognizes and shouldn’t.
It’s the same room in the background of your photos, the video he saw of you humping against pillows. The same bed you were laid out on in nothing but a thong and pasties to cover your nipples. Fuck, this is really happening, he’s dating a porn star.
Shutting the door, he presses himself against it and takes a few more deep breaths. The nasty remnants of bourbon burns down his throat, sighing as he shuts his eyes. He thinks about everything once again, reiterating that you like him.
You. Like. Him.
Right. He has every reason to feel confident right now. Slowly heading back to the living room, he removes the hoodie he has on, hanging it by your front door. He’s seen this movie hundreds of times, purposely made sure to suggest something neither of you would be too distracted by. 
You’re already curled up on the couch when he comes back, feet up with your legs folded. Immersed by the shire being shown on your movie theater sized television screen. Heeseung nods to himself again, sitting down right by your side so that his leg can press against yours. “Found the bathroom?” You ask, leaning into him.
He smiles, lifting his arm to drape around your shoulders. Softly rubbing up and down where his hand lands on your upper arm. “Yeah. You sure you don’t want a drink?”
“You trying to get me drunk?” You ask jokingly, seeming more comfortable now as you nestle deeper into his side.
“No!” He heaves, making a strangled noise. The bob in his neck jumping up and down. Fuck, Frodo’s already on the move, and he still isn’t. He needs to work fast. Turning his neck, he grabs your chin, swiping his other hand through the back of your hair.
“A-ah, you’re caught in my necklace.” 
“Shit, I’m sorry..” he apologizes, unattaching the clasp from his bracelet. 
“It’s fine,” smiling softly, you fix the pieces of his bangs falling out of place. Forming more of a heart shape to frame his forehead. “Cute.”
Heat flames his cheeks, sliding to cup the back of your head properly, he leans in closer. Opening his lips up to shove his tongue inside of your mouth. The photos of your mouth hanging open, crossed eyed with drool falling down to your chest swarm through his mind. Pushing his tongue in deeper to reach your tonsils, he grabs one of your hands. Wrapping around your wrist to lead you to touch the bulge forming in his pants.
“Heeseung,” you swallow, coughing. Eyebrows pinched together as you cup around his groin. Struggling to breath or get a word out with his tongue slithering past your mouth, licking at every side. “S-slow down.”
Pulling back, he glares at you, gaze unintentionally hardened. Moreso confused that you’re suggesting he stop, maybe he’s not doing good. “Isn’t this what you want?”
The speed your expression changes at should have been enough of an answer. Your flushed appearance and heavy eyelids melting into a distant, disappointed look. “What I want?”
Sucking at the backs of his teeth, he leans in to kiss you again. Denied your lips as you turn away and he lands on your cheek. “W-what?”
“Oh yeah. This is what I want.” Shutting your eyes for a few seconds, you grab onto his shoulders. Prying him away to rest his back against the couch so that you can stand up. Lightly kick his feet apart to create space between his thighs. 
He gulps, following your hands sliding down from your chest to the hem of your top, clutching your digits over the material. Enlarged eyes shift away from your lower half, moving up to your face, skin worried between his eyebrows. “Uhm..”
“Wanna fuck me?” Rolling your top up, you throw it aside. Flipping your hair away and off of your shoulders to give him a full view of your lace black bra, cupping your breasts so nicely, rounded with full cleavage.
“Wh—huh??” This shouldn’t feel wrong anymore. Even with his dick twitching inside of the confines of his jeans he can’t help but to feel an ache in his chest. Pinching under the muscle protecting his heart. He gasps as you come down and sit on your knees, grabbing onto them and settling between his thighs.
“How do you want me?” You ask, sultry and seductively. Batting your eyelashes and nibbling at your bottom lip. Your hand returns between his legs, smoothing your palm over the pronounced bulge expanding there. “Inside my mouth?”
Digging his fingers into the sides of his thighs, he furiously blinks. Tilting his chin in to look at you sat on the floor. “Why are you doing this?”
“What?” You huff through your nose, releasing a whisper of a laugh.
“This.” He nods from your hand stroking his size over his jeans to your position. Licking over his lips nervously.
“..isn’t this what you want?” You smile, not reaching your eyes as you reach for his zipper. “To fuck a porn star, treat me like the whore you think I am?”
Heeseung sighs, eyes falling shut. “No, that’s not—“
“So, this is what you think of me?” You interrupt, watery voice hitting him hard. Slipping your hand away from his crotch, you shift back. Pushing yourself to stand back up
“No! It’s not! I swear, I just—“
“Let me guess, someone showed you my account and you thought what the hell? She does it for a living anyway, right?” 
He can’t even look at you, staring at his hands on his lap. He can hear you sniffle, each of your words coming out more broken than the last. This wasn’t how he had imagined this night to turn out. Not even close. “My friends told me to do it.”
“Oh—that’s, that’s rich.” You scoff, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. “Get the hell out of here. God, here I thought I’d finally met a nice guy! A normal guy!”
He is normal, maybe. Maybe he’s nothing more than a failure, can’t even think for himself when something too good to be true shows up and slaps him across the face. Getting up when you pull at his shirt, he hangs his head, trudging to the door. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh you’re sorry?! Sorry that you didn’t get to fuck me and go brag about it to your friends?!”
“No, that..” trailing off, he clutches his chest where the pinching pain has gotten worse. Making it harder to breathe as his lungs tighten up under the weight of his failure. “That I—I just, why didn’t you tell me??”
“Because I didn’t want to! Okay?!” You say roughly, lips quivering. Big wet eyes shaking when you meet his gaze. 
“Why? I—“
“Because I loved the way you looked at me.” Tears break and slip down your cheeks. Shaking them off as you turn away and cross your arms over your chest to cover yourself, to hide. “Please, leave.”
“I’m sorry, I swear! I really don’t know what the hell I was thinking!” He knows he sounds more than pathetic, whiny even. Dragging his hands through his hair frustrated that he can’t think of the right thing to do or say.
“Do you even have any idea how—“ sighing, you shut your eyes. Throwing off whatever emotions are attacking you left and right. “Forget it, just get out!”
He nods, sensing the tears hanging on for life at the corners of his eyes. Slipping his shoes back on, he steps out. “Hold on, I—“
“Fuck you.”
The door slams shut in his face. Releasing the tears he tried to hold in, trickling out hot onto his flushed cheeks. He falls down to a deep squat, feels short of breath, burying his head between his knees. He’s an idiot, the biggest fucking idiot in the world. 
Who knows how long he cried in front of your door before finally dragging his sorry ass out to his car. You probably have some security camera and saw it all, his puffy eyes and red nose, not that he can feel any lower right now. And maybe you deserve to see his shame and humiliation. Not even Ddongy can lift his mood once he makes it home and falls face flat onto his bed, hoping that the world will self-destruct before he has to face another day. He falls asleep just like that, still in the same clothes he had on, carrying light traces of your perfume and whatever detergent you use to wash your belongings. 
For the first time ever since opening the store, he calls off. Knowing too well that he’s financially in no place to actually close the store for a day, he calls up Jake begging for him to at least work half of the day.
“Please don’t ask anything dude, I can’t talk about it right now.”
Jake’s half awake and groggy voice diminishes any fight he has in him to be nosey and probe about last night. Snickering and joking around that Heeseung probably had the best sex of his life last night and wants to ice his dick. He agrees to working, tells him to not worry and for once he’s thankful to have a best friend like Jake. Even if his advice on how to bag women is shit.
Not ready to break down about how badly he fucked everything up to Jake or Jungwon, he asks Beomgyu to meet up for coffee during his lunch break at their favorite cafe. Driving down the same highway he’d been on with you only a few nights ago to meet him, he curses the universe for taunting him. The company Beomgyu works for is by the mall, of course.
“You never take time off from working.” His best friend raises a judgmental eyebrow. “You also never look this fucking terrible.” He mutters, mixing packets of Splenda into his coffee.
“Thanks.” Heeseung grumbles, sinking into his seat. It’s probably true, he didn’t bother to shower or change before deciding he needed to talk to someone, the sensible friend in his life.
“Alright, enough moping. What the hell happened?”
Stirring his coffee, he watches the foam melt into the dark brown watery liquid. Setting his elbow on the table and perching his cheek on his palm. “I’m an idiot.”
“Heeseung, I’ve known you since preschool and I wasn’t born yesterday! That’s obvious! Now get to it, I only have 50 minutes left.” Beomgyu snaps snarkily. Always on edge from working in an office at a computer all day while more than half of his coworkers still think his name is Mingyu. He’s been working there for 3 years!!
Glaring at his friend, he curses under his breath. Mentally wishing bad luck on that giant foreigner that started working at his job a few months ago and taught him that damn ‘I wasn’t born yesterday!’ phrase.
Fine. Where should he start? The part where he probably grossed you out by sticking his tongue down your throat? Or when you started crying. Rehashing the entire evening for the next 30 minutes, he goes back and forth to explain the reasons he did what he did. Jake and Jungwon! And ultimately he’s a loser with no confidence despite how nice you have been to him. How there’s actually no legitimately logical reason why you’d be into him, and yet you are. Or were.
“I made her cry, I could kill myself.” He sulks, pressing his chin onto his arms flattened on the table. Hunched over and defeated.
“Ugh, don’t be so dramatic.” Beomgyu scolds, flicking his empty wadded up sugar packets at him. “I mean, that sucks. As much as I hate when you get all stupid like this over a girl—“
“When’s the last time I even had a crush?!” He splutters, sitting up.
“Sophomore year of high school, that Senior girl with blue hair that dressed like Jinx on Halloween. You never had a chance.” He retorts, wiggling a finger at him. “But this girl, she’s different. I had to watch her making googly eyes at you for over an hour while you yapped about D&D of all things.”
Beomgyu shrugs, finishing off his cup of coffee. “You like her a lot, right?”
“Well, yeah?” Why else would he be here watching his overpriced cup of $8 coffee waste away instead of at work, likely getting beat up by a child again. 
“Then don’t give up.” Beomgyu cringes, throwing a tip onto the table. “You want my advice? Be yourself, because she liked you for you. Not because of some black nail polish, or the cologne I let you borrow—and you better give it back! It sounds like,” making a face, he shakes his head. Letting out a quiet chuckle. “You’re similar! And she’s attracted to that. Just be yourself dude.”
Standing up, he adjusts his tie, clasping Heeseung on the shoulder. “You liked her before you found out about her.. career. Go back to that. Also, apologize profusely, until even your ass cheeks start sobbing.”
Heeseung reaches for his hand on his shoulder to give it a squeeze, offering a small smile. His good old trustworthy sensible friend, he really wasn’t born yesterday.
“And stop taking advice from those two idiots, please.” He grunts, messing up Heeseung’s hair. “Gotta get back to work.”
“Thanks Gyu, I really needed that.”
“Yeah yeah, don’t get used to it.” He winks before exiting the cafe. Leaving him to sit there alone and sip at his now cold coffee. Gazing out of the window at the giant mall parking lot across the street lost in thought. He’ll never be able to go back to Round One again without thinking about you. Everytime he hears ‘finish him!’ your laughter will follow. And when he sees those stupid little dolls you love, he’ll think about how he couldn’t even win you one.
Wait.
Abandoning his half full cup of coffee, he jogs out to his car to drive over to the mall. Apologizing profusely seems like the best advice he’s gotten overall, that, and he wants to. 
Stopping at the ATM outside before he enters he glares at the money sitting in his bank account that Jungwon loaned him to cover the store's rent. Rent that’s due in less than a week. Those little dolls were $30 a pop.. and his chances of actually winning one are slim to none. Regretfully he pulls out the few thousand meant to be used to keep his landlord and the bank off of his ass. He’ll figure out how to pay it somehow, he always does.. Hours and hours spent at the same claw machine end with failure after failure. It’s only after a few hundred dollars that he finally manages to capture one of these gremlin dolls. Even falling to his knees and clutching it his heart as the machine dispenses it and a group of people who have formed around him clap, cheering him on. 
Heeseung turns in a circle, awkwardly waving and smiling at them. “Hey! It’s that nerd from Gamestop!”
Riwoo. God damnit, this kid is his curse! 
“Shouldn’t you be at work?” One of his friends, Woonhak asks. Folding his arms and rolling his eyes. “Aren’t you too old to be collecting Labubu’s?”
Scoffing under his breath, he tucks the small plushie into his backpack. Pulling out another $100. “It’s not for me.”
“Are you reselling them? Pft, trying to invade my territory now?!” Riwoo gripes.
“No, this girl.. I was sort of dating..”
Riwoo’s eyes go wide behind his glasses, snapping his fingers. “The one that chased me out of the store and tried to buy my Charizard pull for $500?!”
Heeseung’s head snaps up, disbelief all over his face. “What?!”
Woonhak laughs, remembering the events. “We told her it’s a no go! Nothing less than $700.”
“That cards not worth that much! You little—“
“So what, she still bought it!” Riwoo grins, posing proudly with his shoulders pronounced. “I’m a real business man, unlike you.”
“Wait, what?? She paid you SEVEN hundred for that Charizard card?!”
Riwoo nods, poking Woonhak’s side with his elbow. “I should have gone for $800.”
Heeseung’s face drops, turning back to stare inside of the claw machine. But you said you had found someone else willing to sell theirs.. someone who happened to live nearby around town.. you lied?! And paid this little shit head more than double the amount this card's even worth?!
Pulling it out of his pocket, he presses it to his lips. More determined than ever to win you this entire case of Labubu’s! 
Five more hours fly by, and the machine full of ugly smiling dolls blurs in front of his eyes. Making the dolls appear to laugh as he blinks and rubs his exhaustion away, not removing his other hand off the joystick despite how hard it’s cramping. Determined or not, this claw machine is more unforgiving than what should be considered fair for a kids game. Finally unattaching himself from the machine, he lets out a pained sound. Unable to stretch his fingers out as he gathers the Labubu’s he managed to win…maybe something over $1000 later. He stopped counting after $600.
Counting the 9 dolls in his bag, he sighs, smiling at the pink one he had originally wanted to win for you. At least he managed that. 
Heading back out, he sits in his car for a few minutes mewling over what to do. What if you never want to see him again? Or do you need space? Maybe you’ve already moved on and forgotten about him. Unfortunately, he had looked at your Onlyfans account again, only to see your face, nothing more. The blaring number of over 4.5 million subscribers is what rushed him to click out before he could bother to save any photos or check out more. A girl like you had plenty of suitors, sending you tons of gifts.. and here he is with a backpack full of dolls trying to sweep you off of your feet.
“Idiot.” He mumbles, starting the car to drive to your place. Half hoping you won’t be home, maybe won’t even open the door when you see it’s him through the peephole. 
He is willing to beg for you to hear him out, even if it leads to nothing. Even if you ask for him to never contact you again and leave you alone. He needs to tell you how he feels.
Pacing out in front of your door for a few minutes, he goes over what to say. Definitely looking like a mad man if anyone was to walk by and see him murmuring while going back and forth. 
Knocking on your door, he waits, heart beating so loud that it feels like a mild earthquake has erupted. The sound of the latch opening stills his breath, finding your gaze as you step back and open up halfway. 
“Hi.” He breathes, hoisting the straps of his backpack onto his shoulders tighter. “I uh—I’m an idiot, okay?? I saw your account and I—I don’t know. I freaked out.” He rambles, squeezing at the straps to stop his hands from flailing about. “And I shouldn’t have listened to my friends! I should have thought about you first. All I care about is you, you know? All I want is for us to go back to normal again.”
“Can it be normal? Now that you know?” 
Opening and shutting his mouth, he nods for a while. Trying to really think about what you just said.
No. It can’t be normal, and that’s not your fault, only his for ever making you feel that way. 
“This is probably stupid.” Dropping to his knees, he takes off his backpack and unzips it open. Picking out the pink labubu first. “But I should have won this for you the other day..”
“Heeseung, are you crazy?! How did you?—“
“I played, a lot.” He nods, standing up to hand you his bag. “You can just keep that, I’ll buy a new one. I know it’s not much but I’m sorry, I’m really fucking sorry.”
Hugging his bag to your chest, you frown, bottom lip quivering. 
“I know who you really are.” He continues, rubbing at his nape nervously without anything to distract his hands with. “And you’re better than this, than what I was trying to pull. You’re better than me. You freaking bought me a Charizard card.” He sighs, head shaking still not believing it. “You’re like, not even in the same tax bracket as me. Hell, I’ll probably never even come close, so please, don’t let some loser like me ever make you feel bad about yourself.”
“Heeseung?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
Wringing his hands, he stops, jaw falling open. “What?”
“For looking at me, and seeing me.”
“You don’t have to thank me for that. That’s what you deserve, you’re amazing.” Coughing to clear his throat. He shoves his hands inside of his pockets, looking from side to side. 
“And you’re not a loser.” You say, holding the pink labubu up to your face. “No loser could win me all of these.”
Little do you know that he can barely move his fingers right now. 
“You’re really sorry?” You smirk, leaning against the door frame. 
“Very.”
“How sorry?” You continue to question, sounding playful. “Willing to do anything sorry?”
“Yes?” He stutters, licking his lips. “Is there something you have in mind?”
Grinning from ear to ear, you nod. “I have an idea.”
———————————-
“It’s been a few weeks, did you miss me?” 
Heeseung’s chest thumps rapidly, having to rub over his heart to make sure he’s not imagining it. He’s standing stoically still at the corner of your bedroom, eyes darting from side to side, back to your figure sitting on the middle of your bed on your knees. Seductively leaning in closer to the camera set up in front of you. He gulps, forcing himself to not fuss with his hair, opting to bite at his nails instead. He watches you toy with the long ears on your soft fuzzy hoodie, winking as the sounds of coins rush in and your viewers grace your return with enough money to instantly raise the numbers in the chat over $1000 after only a few minutes since going live.
This is really happening. The last month has been such a rollercoaster leading up to this moment. After actually successfully getting through every Lord of the Rings movie(director’s cut and all), and building the boxes of unopened dressers and shelves you needed help with, despite the struggle, you ended up visiting a few new places. Cafes, bookstores, an 80s themed arcade, somehow even finessed a mall trip that ended up with him acquiring some new clothes that you insisted looked great on him. Much to his dismay when you also insisted on paying, exclaiming that it was your treat.
He can officially say that you are his girlfriend, and now as he stands here watching you announce to thousands of your subscribers that you found someone, he stops chewing at his cuticle for a second to really focus.
“You know I’m always complaining and whining about how hard it is to meet guys. How badly I just wish one of you lonely gamer boys would come fuck me instead and make this easier for me.” You laugh, looking off camera in his direction. “I know you’ve all been begging ever since I opened my Onlyfans to do content with guys.. I never really wanted to.”
Heeseung smooths his hands down the front of his shirt. A plain black t-shirt, nothing special, and joggers, his outfit didn’t matter much for this since it’d be coming off soon anyway. “But I met someone, and guys..I really like him.” You squeal, cupping your cheeks with the sweater paws covering your hands. “Anddd we’ve been getting to know each other so much these past few weeks!”
He looks at the computer screen where the chats going crazy, blowing up with messages from what he can only assume are your loyal subscribers who have followed you since the beginning based on their responses.
YourDaddy97: ‘Is our baby girl finally going to get fucked?’
-YourDaddy97 sent 200 coins
YourDaddy97: ‘Please say yes.’
G00nking: ‘Hey doll face, so happy for you. He better treat you right or we’ll fuck him up.’
Hungry4pus$y: ‘What’s the plans for tonight princess? Really hope you’ll finally use the dildo I sent.’
Rubbing at his neck, he has to remind himself that you do not actually know any of these people. He is the one currently standing in your bedroom for free watching you giggle as you continue on explaining. He’s the one that gets to touch you and wake up by your side tomorrow.
Milftittiez: ‘God please tell me you’ll take it up the ass baby. Need to see that little hole get fucked.’
-Hungry4pus$y sent 500 coins
Hungry4pus$y: ‘I second that.’
You never read the chat while you’re live anyway. Turning back to look at you, he gasps, finding your gaze on him. 
“He’s really amazing, and super nice to me.. he makes me laugh, I can’t stop thinking about him. Uhm..” slowly running your eyes down his frame, you pause and take a deep breath. Gazing at the bulge already pushing out against his sweats. His cheeks flame up, biting on his lip. 
As good as kissing had been, sex with you was even better. Everything he’d been missing out on before with others whenever he felt dissatisfied, lacked feelings and left feeling more miserable than before; with you everything felt right, comfortable, easy. Better than what he could have even tried to concoct in his wet dreams. 
When you had suggested inviting him to join you on a live show he had initially panicked, worried that he wouldn’t be impressive for your audience, but you had really drilled it in how much they’d love it. 
He’s relatable, he’s one of them. 
“Right uhh,” giggling to yourself, you start to fan your face. “Got distracted. I guess it’s time I introduce you all to my special guest, my boyfriend.” Looking back over at him, you reach out your covered palms. Opening and shutting them with a pout. “Don’t make me wait any longer.”
Taking a deep breath, he moves into the shot on the camera. The image of what your viewers see reflected on another screen next to your computer. Your face, his hips and prominent bulge, the eagerness your smile paints as you reach for his hands. “My baby.”
Biting your lip, you sit up more on your knees, eyes flicking up to look at him. Appearing so innocent and docile on the screen that he continues to look at from the corner of his eye. “And he’s going to listen to all of you. Make sure that I get fucked real good, aren’t you?”
He turns to look at you, reaching for your chin to stroke his fingers across. Eyes darkening as he leans down and places a soft kiss on your lips. “Is that what you want?”
Fingers drag across your bottom lip, catching the tips of them a few times. You shut your eyes and nod, humming and sucking one of his fingers in deeper. “Want it, you know how I like it.”
“Yeah?” He sighs, wiping the saliva from his digits down your chin to your throat. Placing his palm across it to hold your neck back and keep your eyes on him. “Tell me, tell them.”
The chat continues to go wild, messages flooding in even faster. The endless sound of coins chiming. 
Milftittiez: ‘Fuck the hell out of her man. Do what I only wish I could. Lucky bastard.’
IKEUDICKEU: ‘That’s our boy!!’ 
-G00nking sent 800 coins
G00nking: ‘Breed her.’
“Want you to fuck me, fuck me so hard until I cry.” You plead shakily, pulling his hips to your chest. Chin perched on his stomach gazing up at him through half-lidded eyes. “Make it hurt.”
Heeseung’s eyes glaze over for a moment, softly cupping your face and caressing your cheeks. Mouth twitching with the need to tell you how pretty you look, how much he likes you. How he’s sorry for what he’s about to do to you, even if you’re begging for it. “Don’t even know what you’re asking for, do you baby?”
Climbing onto your bed, he kneels onto the space behind your figure, his face coming into the shot. The chat explodes as he drapes a hand over your throat and presses his lips to your cheek. Whispering as his other hand slides onto the front of your stomach and steals your breath. “Safe word?”
“Video games.” You whisper, mostly mouth back at him. A lustful gaze letting him know how far gone you already are, grazing your lips down his jawline. 
‘I want it rough, nasty, be as mean as you want.’ You said much too excited while giving him a pep talk only an hour ago. 
He cups your chin, turning your head to look at him. Diving to connect your lips, hot tongue pushing its way inside. Moving from your neck to the back of your head, he grips onto your hair. Pulling your neck back to arch as he explores inside of your mouth, swallowing the excited moans you keep letting out. It’s more heated and sensual than rough, really taking the time to taste and massage his tongue against yours. Fisting at your hair, he sucks onto your bottom lip, beginning to feel woozy when you whisperly breathe out his name, quiet enough for only him to hear.
Judging by the way you twist around by your waist, and shaking hands find their way to his shoulders, he pulls back only to look at you. Lightly pecking the tip of your nose. “What’s my pretty girl have on under this?” He asks, loud enough for the mics around your bed to pick up on. Reaching for the zipper of your oversized bunny hoodie, toying with it. He smirks and turns you back to face the camera, lifting an eyebrow. “Should we find out?”
It’s clear the chat room cheers him on, dropping more coins in to encourage his hand to slide lower and finally reveal what you’ve been hiding. “Hee, please.” You gasp, head thrown back against his chest. Eyelashes flutter as you reach for his cheek and he moves to sit behind you. Legs bracketing your hips, hard cock pressed to your lower back.
“What? Use your words.”
“Touch me,” you whine. Attempting to roll back and lift your ass from the bed to press against his cock. “Please touch me.”
“Yeah? Want it that bad?” He sighs, fighting with himself to keep taking it slow. The longer this goes the more you’ll make, that’s what you said. Licking at your chin, he wraps around your waist again. Slowly pulling the zipper down to stop just where your breasts begin to round out. “So needy for it.”
“Uh huh,” you whine, shivering against him. 
“Think you should beg a little more baby, my sweet baby.” His nose drags down your cheek, softly inhaling your soft dreamy scent. “They want to hear you beg.”
“Please daddy.” You croon, falling deeper into a hedonistic head space. The lost look in your eye magnifying how far you’ve drifted. 
Heeseung sucks at the backs of his teeth, eyelashes fluttering against your cheekbone. His eyes open up with a heavy intense gaze on your flushed face. Chest rising and falling fast as you pant, breath straining the more you squirm against him. “Shh shh,” tugging your zipper lower, he leisurely inches down. Taking a deep breath as he reaches the bottom and peels the sweater off of your chest.
The sound of coins clink louder, pushing the material off of your shoulders to show off the lace pink bra you have on, contrasting beautifully against your skin. The matching thong panty and garter belt on your shapely waist. And the thigh highs squeezed enticingly on your upper thigh, spilling out enough flesh to make anyone watching want to desperately rut between them, ruining the sheer material with endless layers of cum.
He had helped you to choose this lingerie set out the day you went to the mall together. Some store called Agent Provocateur that he’s never heard of, and a total announced at the register that made his eyes nearly fall out of his skull. Someday he’d be the one to quickly whip out his card and swipe before you even have the chance to think about it.
As he drags his fingers down over your breast, pressing a kiss to your trembling throat, he almost feels sorry at the thought of stripping any of it off of your body. Almost.
“Gorgeous.” He whispers, dipping his hands against the curvature of your waist. Littering a few more chaste kisses along the column of your throat, he scoots back. Pulling at the hem of his shirt and tossing it off to the side. He leans against the tower of pillows decorating your headboard, stretching his legs open. “Come here baby,” he says smoothly, patting his thigh.
Slowly shifting to turn around, you drop the rest of the sweater off of your figure, bending down and arching for the camera behind you as you begin to crawl and make your way over to him. “Turn around.” He directs, spinning one of his fingers in a circle. Returning back to your original position with your back pressed to his chest, you let out a relieved sound. Eyes drifting half shut as his arms engulf you and squeeze you closer. “Doing such a good job, bet your fans wish they could be in my place right now.”
A soft hum passes between the two of you, sliding his hands down past the garterbelt on your waist, he traces across the top of your panties. Dragging his fingertips along the frilly material before he gathers it all together and pulls them to one side. Throwing his legs over yours when you let out a gasp, he pulls them further apart, fully manhandling your position. 
“Keep them open,” he says raspily. Voice turning hoarse the harder he breathes. Inhaling deeply through his nose as he fists them harder and yanks until the sound of seams snapping hits his ears. Exposing your wet core to the audience he’s sure is intently watching, finally getting to see someone else make use of your perfect body. 
“God.. shit,” you huff, burying your face against his neck. Suddenly feeling more exposed than you ever have when alone riding the various collection of sex toys you’ve acquired, more vulnerable with his body heat melding into yours. Igniting flames around the two of you, spreading tremors down to your toes. 
Heeseung’s chest beats wildly, using his other hand to smooth across your wet inner thigh, hissing when his palm gets coated with your arousal. “Baby wants to cum real bad, doesn’t she?” He asks against your ear, teasingly pushing the heel of his palm against your mound. Setting your hips off to jump against the touch. He grunts and pulls roughly at your panties, burning the skin along your groin where the fabric digs in.
Slowly walking two of his digits lower past your clit, he teases at your opening. Barely brushing the tips of his fingers between your slit just to feel the thick wetness that’s accumulated. Biting down to hiss between his teeth as he sluggishly circles over your entrance. “Making a real mess,” he says, flicking the wetness off of his fingers and splattering the bedding beneath your ass. “Insane how fucking wet you are.” 
“Unnghh..” reaching back to grip onto his shoulders, you try to squirm. Kept down by the weight of his legs on yours. Slick wetness drips down past the crevice of your ass, soaking through the backs of your thigh highs burying against the bed. 
“What was that?” He grins, nose pressing against your cheekbone. Teeth nipping at your jawline. “This what you want?” He says only to drive you crazy. Slowly rubbing and softly pressing his digits against your entrance. The sound of wetness emitting so loud, filling your chest with embarrassment. Only a few touches and he already has you kicking your feet, eyes rolled up looking at him full of desperation. 
Loudly moaning as he runs up between your slit to brush around your clit, you frantically nod. Tongue hanging out panting like a dog, making his grin widen and crinkle the skin at the corners of his eyes. 
The heat radiating between your thighs could burn his skin, biting down on his lip to hold back a hiss, he finally presses on your clit. Only to pull back and rip a cracked whine from your throat. Using the arm around your waist to pull you closer, he slides lower, digging his fully erect length into your lower back.
“Please, Hee—“ you say fast and frenetic, eyes bouncing around his face full of panic. “Please!” Clawing at his shoulders helplessly, you scratch at his skin. Digging your manicured nails in to leave marks behind.
Heeseung’s eyes thin for a minute, tapping your clit a few times.
Be as mean as you want.
“You want it?” He dares to ask again before you can completely fall apart in his arms. Digging his cock into your back for some type of relief. He grinds forward, pushing through the wetness drenching your cunt, pushing his fingertips past your throbbing entrance. He stills again, raising an eyebrow at you.
“Daddy!” You cry, head shaking from side to side. Legs trembling against his, tipping your neck back to fully look at him. “Please,” you slur out, tears rippling down your cheeks.
Bucking your hips up from the bed in desperate attempt to get him deeper inside, you sniffle, sucking at your wet bottom lip. “Want it so bad, wan—want you so bad.”
Heeseung’s head could spiral off of his body, chest caving as he licks the tears off of your cheek. Glancing up at the camera from his peripheral, he smirks. The never ending sound of coins coming in reminding him that he got the girl. He’s not the loser anymore.
Shoving two of his fingers inside of you with ease, his eyelids flutter for a minute. Groaning at the way your pussy easily sucks him in, gushing wet slick warmth around his digits. Thick fingers finally stretch between your walls, already so swollen with blood and restless rage of hunger to be filled. “Greedy pussy, sucking on my fingers.” He says between gritted teeth, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
Crooking them deeper, he angles his wrist to get inside past his knuckles. Pushing his cock harder against your back, writhing against you creating sweet friction that runs through his balls. Suctioning heat grips around his digits, using more strength to penetrate and rub the tips of his fingers against a squishy part deep inside of you. He grunts as you let out a strangled cry, bouncing against his cock until you manage to fully sit on his lap and rub your ass on the tent pressing out of his sweats. 
“F-fuck.” Heeseung’s mind slips for a moment. Breaking his gaze away from your perky ass cheeks going up and down over his lap. He clenches the backs of his teeth, shoving his thick fingers in and out of you faster. Pushing them against your velvety wet walls, hitting each nerve that numbs through your core, rolling your eyes to the back of your head.
“Daddy, please, w-want your cock. Fuck m-me!” You stutter, mostly unintelligibly. Stumbling on your words between gasps and moans. 
“Wait.” He says firmly. Trying to keep himself calm and collected as his other hand sweeps down lower, tapping your clit while simultaneously working his digits in and out of your cunt. “You don’t tell me what to do.” Sucking your earlobe between his lips, he furiously pumps his fingers. Aiming them deep exactly where you need, tapping your clit with rapid speed that has you throwing your hips up again.
“Want..” you whisper, sounding dazed. Voice trailing off as you blink to look at him. Chest heaving up and down, coughing between your tears that keep spilling out. Writhing against him, your lips open and part over and over again. Losing your train of thought as Heeseung works his fingers to move at the same speed. Pinching your bundle of nerves between two digits, scissoring your cunt open to take his cock soon. The anticipation of what’s to come pinches through your limbs. Stilling as your orgasm approaches and the pace of his touch stirs you into a frenzy, rolling your clit between his fingers so roughly, you think that you could die from the stimulation.
“Daddy! Daddy!” Lost in the headspace you’ve fallen into, you can’t stop chanting out every wanton beg possible. Slewing nonsense as a wash of cold drenches down your body, sweating even with the cold brrr of air conditioning circulating around. You manage to kick out from under Heeseung’s legs, feet pointed out and eyes clenched. “A-aahh!” 
Relentless fingers curve inside of you, pulling all of your release out. Shooting slick past the two digits lodged deep inside of you as you scream out and reach to pull on his hair. Pussy dripping everywhere as the sound of coins chimes so loud throughout your bedroom. Cumming so hard that the clear liquid almost reaches the camera, landing in trickles at the ledge of your bed.
Popping his fingers free, he lifts his drenched hand to your face. Harshly breathing against your back as he stretches them open, playing with your sticky cum dripping down his palm. “Came from that alone? And still think that you deserve my cock?”
The loudest whimper you’ve let out breaks from your lips, twisting your neck back with wet eyes. “Please! Want your cock! I deserve it! I deserve it!” You say erratically, grabbing his hand and dragging his wet pruned fingertips down the middle of your tongue. 
He tsk, tugging them away and smearing the rest of your wet slick onto your cheek. “That all you got?”
God he hopes it is. His cock throbs, preparing to rip right through his sweats if he doesn’t fuck you already. Choking on a moan when he lifts his eyebrows up and down, you shake your head and get on your knees. Arching your back with your ass jutted out, dropping your chest to the bed. 
Shakily sitting up, he strokes up and down the backs of your thighs, cupping your ass to test the weight of it in his hands. He squeezes for a minute, pinching one side of your soaked through panties between his fingers before dragging the material together.
“Ah, fuck.” He curses, kissing the backs of his teeth. The pink jewel gleaming between your ass cheeks shoots painful pangs straight through his cock. Tapping on the end of the plug sitting nicely inside of your ass. He hisses again as it pulsates in and out, catching your gaze looking back at him with hope. “This for me?”
“Mmhmm,” swaying your hips side to side to entice him, you reach back and pull your buttcheeks apart. Gripping at the plug covered with a ton of lube and your slick that slipped down. Pulsing the gem to taunt him. “W-want you.”
Pushing himself away from your pillows, he rubs over his bulge, lips pulled back baring his teeth. “That’s how you want to get fucked, huh?” He softly chuckles, leaning over your bent posture. Palm finding the back of your neck to keep you held down in place. “Fucked up the ass like a whore before I ruin your pussy?” 
His rasped whispered words nearly force the plug out of your ass, nodding fast before you break into another round of pleads. You slowly blink at him, licking the tip of his nose. “Give it to me.”
God. It’s as if every single shitty thing that’s ever happened to him gets erased from his memory. Only leaving space to remember this moment, how perfect you are, how not even in his wildest fantasies would he have ever been able to come up with anything this good.
Sitting back up with his hand remaining heavy on your neck, he shoves his sweats down, enough to free his length and stroke the mess of precum that's coated his tip. Slapping the meaty girth down on your ass just to hear the loud clap of skin on skin swarm around him, dizzying him all the more. He gets behind you, letting go of your throat to scratch down the top of your spine and unhook your bra, shoving the straps away for the perfect view of the pretty sunken dip between your shoulder blades. 
Grabbing around the sparkling end of the plug, he pulls it out only an inch, shoving it back inside only to make you lose your mind. To hear the tongue-tied jarble you let out, crying and begging. “What was that?” He asks coldly, dark eyes trailing down your body. Squeezing your hips and slotting his cock between your ass.
“F-fuck my hole, fuck my ass.” You ask too sweetly, softly. Voice torn to shreds from all the tears that you wanted to rain down so badly. 
Heeseung has to take a deep breath when he pulls the plug free. Choking on his spit as our rim flutters, glistening with lube, gaped and empty. Made for his cock to fuck and fill.
For a minute he rubs his length up and down your rim, questioning how exactly he’s supposed to fit in there. You wanted it to hurt..
Cupping your core, he smears the wetness dribbling out on his palm. Painting the mess of it onto his size before pulling his hips back and slamming forward. Penetrating past the tip due to the prep you did earlier and the lubricant still coating your insides. He manages to get half of his length in with one thrust. Eyes squeezing shut at the immediate tight heat he’s met with. 
An obscene pleasured and pained moan echoes around him. Splitting you apart on his cock as he thrusts in deeper and meets obstruction, coming to a still to suck air in through his nose.
“Ah—ahh!” You scramble beneath him. Hands roaming for something to dig your nails into, clutching at the bedding. The toy had been useful to prep you for this, but not good enough to prepare for just how thick and big Heeseung is. Filling your ass so full, so fucking full that it’s blinding. Looking at the inside of your skull from the way your eyes roll back. Tasting his cock so deep, you don’t know if you’ll ever be able to accept another. 
It’s only a minute or less before he’s pulling back out to the tip. Groaning at the way your hole pulsates around him, trying to suck him back inside. Hooking his hands onto your garter, he thrusts back inside with more force. Ripping another long cry from your throat that could shatter glass. The sting of his punching thrusts claps against your ass, filling the room with your heavy breathing, the collision of wet skin, sounds of pleasure reaching new heights.
Heeseung aims at the same spot inside of you over and over again. His clothed thighs pressed against the back of yours as a reminder that he’s still dressed from the waist down, really painting the picture of what a whore you must look like right now. Getting fucked like this in front of thousands, subscribers who will never forget this judging from the sound of pings coming from the chat. 
Fat tears burn down your cheeks as he bends forward and really rides your ass. Burying his feet into the bed with his hips pressed against yours, hitting so deep that you swear you can feel him in your stomach. Running one of his hands back down to your neck, he grips it for a minute. Clutching your throat as be brutally pounds into your ass and drops his gaze down to watch your skin ripple and bounce against him. Pulling back and snapping his hips forward with enough force to shove your face deeper into the bed, muffling your pretty cries. “This is what you wanted.” He groans, licking at drool dripping down his chin.
“Y-yes!”
“Tell them,” fisting a wad of your hair, he pulls your head back. Bowing your back in and cracking your neck muscles in the process. You let out a shout, blinking large wet eyes right at the camera. “Tell them how good it feels.” 
Breath lodges in your throat, makeup ruined from the tears that have smeared across your face. The chat obviously loses it when you finally acknowledge them. “L-love getting my tight little ass fucked.”
Fuck. Heeseung has to drop his chin in order to hide his face. Cock twitching inside of your ass at the lewd way you talk, making so many jealous, making him lose all ties to his sanity. The sound of skin hitting skin grows louder, fist tightening in your hair. He rams down and fucks your ass with ferocity. The arch in your back looks impossibly deep now, undoubtedly painful. Showing off your pretty marked up throat for all of your horny viewers to envy. Fucking his thick cock as his hips jerk with each squeeze you give. He growls, suddenly throwing your head down to grip your hips. “Come on, fucking you this good. Where the fuck are your manners?”
The last thing your brain can process is what the hell manners even mean right now. “I-I—I dunno.” You whimper, repeating yourself a few more times. 
“Don’t act dumb.” He rolls his hips. Circling them and his cock deep inside of your ass. His fingers slide down your cheeks, dipping into your open mouth, and he pulls. Yanks you back by your mouth, drooling out onto the bed as you look at the camera in shock. “Tongue out like that, say thank you.”
The image on the screen makes his cock throb. Beating against the insides of your ass, tightening his balls up as drool drips out down your tongue. Covering his fingers with spit and your tears that flow like no tomorrow.
“T-thank you.” 
God you sound pathetic, groveling and struggling to move your mouth. Coughing out a wad of spit as he continues to fuck your ass open, jabbing out more trickles of drool to fly out.
Heeseung fully pulls you back, stretching your mouth all the way open as he sits you right on his cock and fucks into you with manic speed. Blinking sweat away from his eyes, he watches himself with the most deranged expression, pummeling deep inside of your ass. Tits bouncing on the screen with your bra discarded somewhere on the bed. Panties all strewn and ruined, thigh highs enhancing how sexy and fuckable you look. He feels crazed, mouth going slack, eyebrows pinched together.
“Hee—“ you seize up around him, gurgling his name. Dropping his fingers from your mouth he grips around your throat with both hands. Leveraging his strength with a chokehold, he uses extra force to bounce you up and down his length. Even as you lock up and make it near impossible for his cock to move. Tiny hole making it harder for him to fuck you, filling him with insatiable rage as he thrusts harder, knocking tearsdrop from your chin.
Slick glistens all over your parted open inner thighs. Darkening the material of your thigh highs. He can’t believe it, how much you want it, how much you’re enjoying it. Loving it and begging for more, such a.. “Slut.” He bites out, placing his lips by your ear. Your mouth never shuts even after he lets go, tongue hanging out akin to a thirst starved animal. Panting heavily with no strength left in your jaw or ability to form coherent words. Letting out choked whines and wheezes, jabbed out with each sharp thrust he gives you.
Fucked without a care, pure abandon because he knows he still has to fuck you. Giving it his all with each slam of his hips, he bites on your earlobe. Dropping one hand between your thighs to deliver a harsh skin burning slap. The wet sound emitting out loud, swelling your cunt even more upon impact. He slaps again and again until you’re writhing against him, coughing, head dropped back releasing the most desperate sounds. 
“This.” He huffs roughly, throwing his hips up with a powerful impact. “Is. What. You. Want?” 
The gruff tone vibrates through your skull, slaps against your core matching his thrusts. Grazing your engorged clit in the most mind crushing way. Fucked into oblivion and aching everywhere, from the stinging pain all over your scalp to the bruises forming on your hips and neck. Exactly how you like it. Heeseung licks up your damp cheek, lips returning to press to your ear. “Gonna cum just from my cock in your ass?”
A silent scream cuts like knives inside of your throat, jaw dropped, eyes rolled all the way back. The most obscene pornographic stream your viewers have seen from you. Blowing their minds where they jerk off behind their computer screens to another man bringing you to your highest peakest of pleasure. Entire body quivering, ass clamping down on his cock, squirting onto your ruined bedding again as you reach climax. Entire body going limp as clear wet jumps from your unused cunt, going slack in his arms.
He growls, setting you back down onto all fours. Cock screaming inside of your tight asshole as his body begs for release. He squats over you on the bed, feet digging into the sheets. Pressing down on your shoulders, he thrusts in with determination, growing sloppy as you let out a howled scream. And his teeth grind together, rolling his hips down as the first string of sticky white string pours out of his tip. Stilling to bury the rest of his cum deep inside of your ass. He trembles, hunching over your body. The weight of him too much in your weakened state, sending you both to topple over.
“Fuck.” 
Filthy. The smell of hot sex permeating around him. His cum trickling out of your gaped hole, the way his cock smacks against his stomach. He gasps for breath, rubbing over his face in disbelief. Even the chat quiets down for a minute, only a few chimes of coins drop. It’s possible that everyones too stunned to speak much of anything after that.
Catching his breath, he sits back up, turns to push your hair that’s now a complete mess out of your face. “Safe word?”
“Mm..” you try to smile, weak and dopey still coming down from your orgasm. “V-videos..” You slightly nod, pecking his lips as he leans in and rubs his nose against yours.
“Good girl.”
Heeseung blinks at the screens, crawling closer to the corner of your bed to read a few messages.
G00nking: ‘BREED HER PUSSY PLSS I’M FUCKING BEGGING DUDE!!’
-G00nking sent 1000 coins
YourDaddy97: ‘I second that, destroy her. Need to see that pussy filled with cum.’
-YourDaddy97 sent 1500 coins
MilkTitZSucker: ‘BREED HER BREED HER BREED HER!!’
Getting off of the bed, he shoves his sweats off, kicking his boxers aside. The chat continues to explode with requests to fist you, eat your ass, but the ones begging to breed you overpower all of them, spamming until they get their way. “We’re not done yet.” He says to the camera, reaching for your thighs to drag you closer. Legs hung off the bed with a perfect shot of your cunt for the camera, gaining a lot more earnings. He rubs up your calves to your knees, snapping the tops of your sticky thigh highs against your skin. Smoothing over your aching wet pussy, cupping it with his hand, heel of his palm digging against your clit. He teases for a few seconds, playing with your garter belt, massaging up to your breast to cup and squeeze. “One more baby? Can’t disappoint your fans.”
Slowly nodding your head, you reach for him, hands opening and closing needily. Pouting for them to be held. Linking his fingers between yours, he settles between your legs. Laying down with his chest pressed to yours, kissing your chin. 
The first time you had sex had been slow, soft, mostly exploring each other’s bodies with tons of foreplay. But right now he needs to be inside of you, to feel every inch of his cock trapped in your warmth. Angling his hips, he presses his forehead to your cheek. Looking down to aim the tip of his length at your wet opening, gently nudging until he can press in. “Ughh..” he sighs, loving how wet you stay, even after all the abuse your ass endured. You slick up around his cockhead, making the push easier to pop the rest of it inside.
He prods for less than a minute to let you get used to the stretch. Grabbing your hands to place them on your breast, grasping your shoulders and pushing himself up. Dropping his lower half to penetrate deeper, inch by inch disappearing as you croon; toying with your nipples between your digits. 
“Big—“ you say watery, shiny lips covered with drool. “S’too much, c-can’t.”
Heeseung can feel it, your cunt pulsing around his length. Pussy walls closing on him to push him out and pull him in deeper. Another gush of arousal pours down to his balls, cursing as he pulls out to the tip and gets a look at his glossy slick cock. “Don’t move,” he spits out, biting at his lip. “L-let me just—“
“Daddy—can’t fit you inside my pussy.” You say in a breathless exhausted voice. Heavy eyelids draped low, giving you the most sultry bedroom eyes.
Fuck.
His eyes slam shut to not cum too fast, balls clenched with the threat. A low groan tears from his throat, gripped even tighter as you wail again. “You’re so b-big, stretching me so good.”
“Yeah baby.” Heeseung can’t think of anything. Can’t think of what to do or say, only focused on how tight your pussy sucks his cock. His skin flushing and shining with sweat the longer he holds himself back from fucking you in earnest. “Like that?”
His hips buck on their own, burying himself to the hilt. Leaning forward, he really sinks your shoulders into the bed, somehow getting the very last inch of his cock inside of you. The pressure wide and firm, pressing his cockhead so deep. “The way you s-squeeze, fuck.”
Taking a hold of your neck, he reaches down to hook your thigh over his hip. Snaking his hand between your lower halves to rub your clit. He uses the new angle to grind his cock inside of you, matching the rhythm with the way his fingers circle around your clit. Fingers slipping lower between your folds from how wet you are. He pinches it between his digits and lets out a groan when you start to cum again. Pussy desperately contracting around his size, sliding in and out through your release. Continuing to work his cock through it, he kisses you again, licking your bee stung bitten lips. “Feel good?”
Mindlessly nodding and too delirious to answer, you let go of your breasts to hold on to his shoulders. His hips snap, thrusting in more ruthless with the extra glide of your slick. The hand on your throat loosens as he reaches down and grips your thighs. Pulling them both to press against his hips as he hammers in and out of your pussy. Clenching his teeth as he smooths to the backs to your knees and slowly rolls his hips trying to keep a fast pace. He pushes your knee pits forward, making them meet your shoulders as he bends you in half with his cock lodged inside of you. Strangled moans and whines mix with the grunts and groans he keeps letting out, shoving in again when he sees the skin under your navel protrude. “Fuck baby, that hurt?”
He does it again to hear you whimper, shaking your head. “Daddy please!”
Dragging his hands to your ankles, he moans and presses against the spot again. Rocking his hips forward faster with each thrust. “Please what, I said use your fucking words.”
“C-cum for me daddy,” you sound so pretty, moaning your words loudly. Cracking as they pass through your scratchy throat painfully. “Cum inside m-me!”
God. That does it. Heeseung’s arousal consumes him, gaze dropping from your angelically obscene face to your wrecked cunt. Staring at the way your the skin lining the rim of your entrance clings to his thick cock so pitifully. Snapping around him and luring him in deeper even if you can’t handle anymore. Selfishly wanting to be used and taken again and again.
“More!” You whine, weakly shoving your core against him to make him move faster. 
Pressing roughly at the backs of your knees, he’s in full control now. Fucking forward so hard that all you can do is take and take. Breath hitching and locking in your throat as he pounds into you. Finding the perfect angle to drag his cock in and out. 
Another wet splash of slick hits his groin, trickling down to his drenched balls. Making a mess between his thighs covered with your slick. He keeps fucking you through your orgasm, fucking through the stream of squirt reaching high enough to hit the middle of his chest. “That’s it.” He groans, thrusting even harder.
Thighs still shake against him as you come down and gasps loudly. Digging your nails into the skin under his pecs, scratching and staring up at him in disbelief. It’s too overwhelming, the heat of your bodies meeting like this, the sticky wet sounds growing louder with each thrust. “G-gonna fucking—fuck your pussy full of cum.” He says strained, raspy and out of breath. “That’s what you want? That’s what you want!” 
Blown out eyes stare down at you, forcing your legs open wider to find that spot deep inside of you that aches so good. He loses it, going crazy inside of your pussy. Thrusting so fast that it slides your back up the bed with him. Throwing all of his weight into each drop of his hips. “Fuck!” 
Dropping your legs, he lets them flop out to your sides. Resting one hand on your lower belly and the other against your heart, beating so hard he can feel it. Thrusting deep, hitting the skin under his palm. The feeling of both at the same time does something to his brain, blacking out as you start to cum again. But he doesn’t stop, wants to fill your pussy until its dripping with his seed. Chasing his orgasm, he lets out a string of curses, cutting to shuddering breaths. His thrusts get messy, slowing down the last few as his face scrunches up and he lets out the longest broken groan. Spilling load after load of creamy hot white cum inside of your clenched pussy. His toes curl, hips twitching forward with slow pumps to drag it out.
He has to tuck his lips in to stop himself from saying something that could potentially scare you away, especially in front of thousands of gawking eyes. “Ugh..”
Lightly falling on top of you, he starts to pull out. Hissing and gliding the rest of his length free from your hole still squeezing around him. Dropping his body fully onto your bed, he hears the pings from the chat room, leaning over to kiss your forehead before he gets up to turn it off. “Be right back.”
“Mmph..” you mumble, half asleep. Standing up, he wipes his dick clean with his shirt, stepping into his sweats as he makes his way over to the computer. 
‘Thanks for joining us, everyone. Have a goodnight.’
Turning everything off, he exits from the screens and makes his way to your bathroom to get a towel to clean you off with. Remembering to go back out to the hallway and grab his bag before he makes his way over to your limp figure curled up in bed. “You can’t sleep like this baby.” He smiles, wiping the dry cum and slick off of your thighs and stomach. Tenderly cleaning between your thighs when you hiss.
“Yes I can.” You say, muffled with your face half dug into a pillow.
“But I have something for you.”
Peeking open one eye, you look at him. Pushing up to sit up and groaning about your back. “More labubu’s?”
“Mmm no.. better, maybe.” He gets up, tossing the dirty towel into your hamper. Setting his bag down on your bed, he unzips it and holds it closed. “I didn’t only pack a huge bag to stay over for tonight, but because I finally finished your bow.”
“Oh my God!” You squeak, bouncing up and down in place. Heeseung coughs, digging his hoodie out from the bag for you before he gets distracted again.
“Hope you’ll like it..” he blushes, really worked hard on it for weeks. Longer than he had originally wanted to, but you deserved something to hold that could match up to your beauty. 
Carefully taking it out, he unwraps the cloth from it. Holding the bow out for you. Hands shaking as he does. “Heeseung, I can’t believe you did this for me..” eyes swollen from crying look over the details, the painting, how much craftsmanship went into this. Touching over the carvings with a huge smile on your face. “I almost forgot about this.. I love it!”
“It’s nothing.” He can’t stop smiling. Wanting to rub the heat away from his cheeks as you stand up, his hoodie hanging just below your hips. You arch back and stretch the bow, directing the arrow at his chest.
“Wizard, what do you have to say for yourself? Falling for a druid? Have you no shame?”
Wrapping his hand around the pointed tip of the arrow, he presses it to his chest. “I dunno, maybe I’m stupid.” He snorts, releasing the arrow to spread out his arms. “I’m your captive now, my druidess, to do with me whatever you please.”
“Anything left to say before I make you mine?” Stretching the bow, you raise an eyebrow. The playful glint in your eye still manages to radiate in your dim lit room. Even though he knows this is all for fun, joking around with your weapon aimed at his chest, he can’t help to think that he’d let you shoot him down without a fight. 
He’d let you win everytime, just to watch you light up and smile. To do whatever he can to make you happy, even if just for a minute.
“I love the way you look at me too.”
———————————-
2K notes · View notes
vantxx95 · 13 days ago
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⸻ SAINT MATTHEW'S ACADEMY
─"do you know about all the filth that goes on in here?"
SYNOPSIS ⸻ being a smart kid comes with a lot of advantages; one of them being a full scholarship to one of the best schools in the country. one of the best school's that's filled to the brim with disgustingly rich teenagers. Heeseung knows you're not like them, and he also knows that'll be easy to take advantage of.
PAIRING ⸻ toxic!heeseung x innocentfem!reader
GENRE ⸻ strangers to lovers, private school au, smut, fluff, angst (idek tbh)
TAGS ⸻ characters are all 18 or older, toxic relationships, misogyny, alcohol abuse, smoking, marijuana/cannabis mention, partying, underage drinking, foul language, cheating (not really though) power imbalance, abuse (punches are getting thrown..) , kinda love triangle?? , making out, oral sex (f. and m. receiving), virginity loss, p in v, pet names, unprotected sex, creampie, tell me if i missed something!
WORDCOUNT ⸻ 21k
everything here is FICTIONAL, it is not real. this was created for entertainment purposes only. MINORS DNI.
“No Eunseok, I don’t want to go anywhere!” you grit your teeth, backing away from your older brother. 
He sighed, and with his hand pulled your wrist towards the doorway. You were acting like a brat, and he had absolutely no interest in fighting with you right now. From your standpoint, you had every reason to be behaving this way. 
“There are thousands- no, millions of people your age who would die for an opportunity like this, and you're going to act like a child? Grow up, Y/n” he let out a steady breath as an attempt to calm himself down. 
In some way, you put yourself in this situation. Flawless scores on all your exams, juggling multiple extracurriculars and excelling at every single one of them, participating in every Model UN you could get your hands on, making a name for yourself- being somebody. It all led to you being noticed by prestigious schools, who practically begged to host you, even though deep down, you were a nobody. 
Your parents weren't snobby rich people, who thrived off of other people's ideas and failure. They weren't greedy either, working normal 9 to 5 jobs. 
When you were merely 12 years old they had left to go work at your uncle's company overseas, hoping that it’ll allow them to make enough money to pay for your brother’s med school tuition and potentially have the money to fund a future clinic of his. They promised to come back as soon as Eunseok finished school and started a stable job. But they never did. 
Eunseok, who was 7 years older than you, was always the favorite child. No matter how well you did or how bad he did, Eunseok was number one in your parents' hearts. There was never a family reunion where Eunseok’s medical career as a surgeon wasn't brought up- and when it did end up getting shoved into the conversation, it didn't stop until all the lights turned off. 
And of course, you felt bad for your brother. He had to balance taking care of you and being a surgeon for fucks sake, but that didn't mean you couldn't feel lonely most of the time. You had a free hand when it came to inviting friends over, but unfortunately their strict parents and every other circumstance never allowed them to stay longer than one night. Your only family,  your older brother who you looked up to was just never there, and you just sank deeper into your loneliness whenever he called and apologized for a sudden surgery that came up. 
But still, Eunseok, was just perfect, you had no choice but to try and keep up with him. 
So when the letter from Saint Matthew’s Academy came in the mail, offering you a spot in their school, with the tuition fully paid for by them, you didn't even think twice. 
And now you regret that, badly. 
St. Matthews Academy was a private school next to the town you grew up in. It was also an exceptionally expensive place, with tuition fees racking up to about $80.000 per year. Going there would be a privilege to most people your age, but the students there saw it as a regular school without anything special to offer them. Even if they weren't going to inherit their parents’ company's, they were truly set up for the rest of their lives anyways. 
You hadn't really done any research on the school before accepting their offer, only aware of their students academic achievements and high level of education. The more you found out, the more the idea of being a student terrified you. 
You would stick out like a sore thumb amidst the successful people who had a chairman position prescribed before birth. 
“It’ll be okay, do you think if I let the fear get to me, I’d be a SNU alumni now?” Eunseok asked, focused on the road as he drove you right into the gates of your own, personal hell. 
“We get it, you finished SNU and are a surgeon now, blah blah blah” you said, and he rolled his eyes playfully. 
“I’m just trying to help you. I doubt those kids are going to be that bad. They have a reputation to upkeep anyways, can’t be caught bullying” he tried to calm you down, but everytime he opened his mouth, he just made it worse. 
“Eunseok, you’re making it worse” you murmured, tucking at the skin of your thumb. He placed his hand on yours, preventing you from continuing with your bad habits “That’s exactly why I’m scared. These kids are disgustingly rich, and people like us-  well we're like ants compared to them. They have an image to polish, and I have none of that” you continued, and he frowned lightly, his heart breaking at your, his little sisters, words. 
“Do you seriously think you got to be in this position cause you’re a nobody? I don’t think regular and undeserving people have been given a full scholarship to a school like Saint Matthew’s. Nobody has been given a scholarship from them really” Eunseok said, making you feel slightly more confident “I can turn around, you can withdraw, but I think you’ll regret that” he said, with a light smile which you reciprocated. 
Maybe you should have told him to turn around back then, maybe you should've denied the offer or thrown it away the moment you saw the letter with that heinous stamp. 
_____ 
No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't stop thinking about what your first day was going to be like. Some dreams portrayed you as the future top 3 of the school, and some seemed to make you out to be the outcast loser who can’t seem to find anyone who’d befriend her. 
It was nearly impossible to get those images out of your head. You thought about lying about your background, falsifying stories about your parents who own giant multi-utility corporations that supply petrol and energy to half the country, but that was pointless. 
You could either be made fun of for lying or made fun of for being a ‘poor nobody’. None of them seemed right, but one didn't lead to being incredibly embarrassed for the rest of highschool. 
The building did not have any correlation with the one that you imagined, the one that you constantly dreamed about. It looked nothing like the modern, smart, couple story construction that clouded your mind beyond arrival, and because of their strict laws, pictures and videos of both the inside and outside were strictly prohibited. 
So all you had left was to make up your own assumptions, and the old fashioned, palace looking property was definitely not one of them. You assumed that the millions of dollars in tuition that flow into the headmaster's account every year could at least allow him to renovate the building. 
But it seemed as if the gray, dirty, moss covered outer walls had a special meaning you didn't quite understand. 
You definitely weren't a sucker for historical architecture, and this building looked more like a nightmare than a dream to you. 
At the front office, the lady had confiscated your phone, with a smile explaining why they do it, and asking you to pick it up after classes are over. She had a creepy aura surrounding her, and you begged for her small introduction to finish as soon as possible. 
“I’ll let Wonyoung, your class president, give you a tour around our school. She should be here in a moment, dear” she smiled eagerly at you, and you found it hard to reciprocate her seemingly innocent expression. 
You never expected Wonyoung to be an actual angel, her figure already shining brightly as she strides towards you. You wondered how it was possible for someone to make a school uniform look this good. Her hair was long and silky, and her bangs just looked fake with how fresh and bouncy they were. 
You smoothed down your uniform and fixed up your hair as she got closer to you and the eerie lady next to you. 
“You're the new student, right?” she waved at you, and shot you with a pretty smile. 
You had no idea how to behave, acknowledging that she probably came from a wealthy family that practically owns the country. 
But Wonyoung was a little different. Her parents didn't own any big corporations or participate in any other money making schemes. Both her mom and dad met on the set for a movie that later led them to become the highest paid actors in the industry. It was pretty comical to say she was different as she still was considered a product of nepotism in the modeling world that she was so active in. She hadn't even finished highschool, but had already walked for brands like Gucci, Prada, Louis Vuitton, Maison Margiela and more. Maybe it was her pretty face or just her parents' wild connections. 
“Mind if I give you a small tour? It can get complicated around here” she asked, her tone so delicate. 
If anything you should be thanking her for sparing you with a little bit of time, thanking her for even allowing someone like you to be in the presence of someone like her. 
You nodded your head not able to let a single word out, afraid to embarrass yourself. With a smile Wonyoung locked her arm with yours, and kept you close by her side as she showed you around the place. 
“This is the cafeteria, but I wouldn't recommend you going there, the food is awful” she said, and you laughed lightly at her expression. 
Was it awful cause it wasn't a three course meal with caviar, steak and truffles for dessert or was it actually not that good. You really did not fit in here and you haven't met anyone else.
“Well I see that guy is enjoying it” you commented, noticing a tall, skinny boy laughing with his friend as he consumed something you couldn't quite recognize. 
Wonyoung laughed, in the most elegant way possible, and her cheeks flushed a light shade of pink “That’s Park Sunghoon, my boyfriend. He will eat anything, seriously” she stated and you nodded with a chuckle. 
Park Sunghoon was son to Park Jiwon, the CEO of ParkJin Electronics. His mother had worked hard all her life to build up her own empire, resulting in him being raised mainly by nannies and his cousins. Still, he was spoiled and cocky, his family allegedly had royal roots, and even though he didn't know himself, he boasted about it every single occasion he got. He didn't seem to care much about studying, since he was the only child his mother ever had, he was next in line to inherit her electronic empire. Yet something in him felt the desire to prove to everyone that no matter what, he deserved to take over.  
He also surrounded himself with people of the same social status and net worth as him, so that’s probably why he treated Wonyoung so differently, even though she was his literal girlfriend. Wonyoung was rich, but she could never compare to the millions his mother earned yearly. 
Yet he was so good at pretending and gaslighting the girl into believing she's the bad person for lashing out on him after he called her ‘the type of person who polishes shoes for people like him’. He was just joking around, right? But the poor girl took it because the good moments overshadowed the absolute idiot Park Sunghoon was capable of being. 
“And next to him? Who’s that” you asked, politely pointing towards the blond boy next to him who’s jawline looked like it was shaped by Micheal Angelo himself. 
“That’s Jongseong, but we just call him Jay,” Wonyoung answered, looking at you with a pretty smile. Did everything she does have to be so annoyingly beautiful and perfect? 
Park Jay was born in Seattle, so he was the American heartthrob that flexed his posh English skills in order to pull girls he had no interest in having serious relationships with. His dad owned the biggest hospital in the country, and on top of that had plastic surgery salons opened in practically every city. His parents had divorced when his dad's businesses started to gain popularity and bring in more money. His father assumed that his wife no longer appealed to him, and she would just be like a parasite- living off of his success. And since Jay had been harshly raised by his rough father, he shared the same opinion about his mother. Not having a motherly figure present in his life, surrounding himself with his fathers girlfriends who were only 10 years older than him, he became a Andrew Tate worshiping incel who’s main focus was making money and convincing everyone to join his self-betterment program. 
“He’s nice, but I think his political and social views are a little far from the ones that girls like us have” she attempted to explain, and pretty quickly you understood he’s a misogynist. 
“I see, is your boyfriend the same?” you asked, trying to sound as polite as you can, since you didn't quite know where Wonyoung wouldl draw the line. 
“No, at least I’d hope he isn't” she chuckled lightly, and slowly tugged you towards another large hall in the school “He was raised by women, his dad passed away when he was around 3, so I guess he has at least some respect for us” she added, and you nodded in understanding. 
“This school is really freaking big, I don’t know if I’ll be able to find my way around here” you commented and she chuckled at your use of words. 
“You can say fucking, I really don’t mind” Wonyoung looked at you, and you breathed out a steady breath “I don’t want you to think of us as some posh, elegant and royal like teenagers who use a fork and knife every time they eat. I genuinely think most of us are pretty normal considering our backgrounds” she explained, and you had to stifle a laugh. 
Although Wonyoung seemed like an incredibly nice and sweet girl, she truly had no idea how privileged she was. Truly, her only worry was you not thinking she’s a snobby rich kid. And that applied to all of them, you just didn't see yourself empathizing with these people, seeing how you were raised in two completely different worlds. 
“It’s my first time talking to people like you, don't have much experience” you smiled and raised your hands in guilt. 
She laughed at your action, and asked “What do you mean, what do your parents do then?” 
You didn't want to answer that question, you didn't even want anyone to ask it in the first place. But you had to answer honestly. 
“Both of my parents live overseas, but they're no one special. My dad is a construction worker and my mom has a simple office job” you said, and she didn't seem to laugh or find your parents’ profession amusing in any way “I live with my brother, he’s a surgeon” you added, and she seemed to light up at the mention. 
“I want to be a surgeon too!” she beamed and you smiled as she ignored and didn't care about the fact that you weren't the future heiress of a major conglomerate “I need to speak to your brother one day, maybe he’ll give me some advice” she added and with a smile you assured her you’ll set up a meeting for the two of them one day. 
She pulled you through a dark, narrow, dimly lit hallway to a giant room with a high ceiling where most of the students were currently spending their time. 
“This is the common room” she said, as the two of you stood in the entryway. 
Laughter ringed in your ears as you attempted to examine every student present in the area. 
“Let me introduce you to Niki!” she beamed and pulled your wrist towards the unknown boy. 
Niki was the son of the owners of the biggest pharmaceutical company in the country. Even though he had no interest in taking over the business, his younger sister wasn't seen as competent enough to take over, so he was forced to be the next CEO. His parents and Jay’s father were close friends, planning on merging the two companies by arranging a marriage between Jay’s younger sister and Niki. His true passion was dance, he hated everything that had to do with medication, but he knew there was no chance he’d ever get to pursue his passion for a living. 
“Niki!” she called to the boy, and he turned around, swiftly taking off his headphones. 
“Not gonna go shop for makeup with you today, forget it” he claimed, not even noticing you standing right next to her. 
“Oh please, as if I’d want to go with you” she sneered and he chuckled under his breath. “I wanted to introduce you to Y/n, she’s new here!” she continued, and he took a judging look at you. 
Or at least it felt as if he was judging you, scanning you up and down as if you weren't wearing the same exact uniform as him. But quickly he shot you with a small smile, and stuck his hand out for you to shake. You applied and as nicely as you could, returned the expression. 
“You’ll regret coming here, Y/n” he warned with a laugh, and you chuckled, but deep down felt like maybe he wasn't joking. 
“Stop scaring her” Wonyoung said sternly, and he looked at her with a raised eyebrow “I like it here, don’t listen to him Y/nnie” 
“Maybe because you're a fucking nerd who’s a teachers pet?” he asked sarcastically, and Wonyoung just rolled her eyes playfully. 
You stood there listening to their bickering, already getting a weird feeling that you didn't really belong here, these people were not the usual kind you surround yourself with. 
“What brings you here?” he asked, which turned your attention back to the two people in front of you. 
“I got an invitation, full ride scholarship and all” you explained and his eyes widened. 
“You're a smart girl, aren't you?” he asked, and you chuckled lightly. 
“You could say that, I guess” you said, and he looked towards Wonyoung. 
“I guess you’ll finally have a smarty pants friend to talk to about the theory of relativity, or whatever you call it” he cooed, and she flipped him off. 
“Jake used to be my nerdy bestie, well until he started hanging out with Jay and attending his dumbass courses” she laughed looking towards you, and he did the same nodding his head. 
“Let’s be honest, ever since they created their little frat circle with Heeseung and Sunghoon, they suffered insane brain damage. But the courses were also bad enough” Niki inquired, and she laughed, agreeing with him. 
Jake’s parents were real estate giants, owning at least half of the properties in the city. He had been raised with the thought of taking over his parents’ business, so he was actually the only one in his friend circle that studied and strived to achieve something. His mother or father would never let him take over if he had nothing in his head. Jake actually wanted to become a real estate agent, because after seeing his parents succeed, he wanted to be just like them. 
“What exactly are these courses about?” you asked, and Niki quickly opened his phone to show you the website Jay and his computer geek friend Jungwon set up. 
You didn't even bother asking the boy how he managed to sneak a phone in, assuming the one lying in the basket at the front desk, was probably one of his many devices. 
“He tries to convince men that they need to unleash their inner sigma to fully embrace their manliness or something like that” he explained as you grabbed his phone to look through the website. 
It looked like a failed IT project they had to do in class, and honestly you didn't understand why anyone would trust him enough to receive life advice. 
“I can't believe that people actually listen to his advice” you commented, handing back Niki his phone. 
“That’s not even the worst of it, he genuinely thinks that if men were to become pregnant, they would give birth in two weeks since they’re stronger, something along those lines” Wonyoung added, and you couldn't help but burst out laughing. 
Maybe you were getting along with them, but the eerie atmosphere around you and the blank stares you received from other students grounded you. 
“Yo new girl, wanna come to a party tonight?” Niki turned towards you with a questioning expression. 
You have been studying your whole life, cramming information until late hours of the night, which resulted in you having to give up your social life or anything of that sort. You had friends, but never the time to go out with them. So this would be your first party ever, and you had no idea how to behave. 
“Sure,” you replied, not giving it any more thought. If you started overthinking it, you’d probably deny the request. 
“Put in your number, I’ll send you the address” he gave you his phone once again, and you swiftly typed in your digits, saving your contact under ‘Song Y/n’. 
“Show me your schedule, I’ll walk you to your next class” Wonyoung turned to you, and you dug up the crumbled piece of paper you received at the front office. 
_______
Niki had eventually texted you the address, offering a ride along with it, unless you already had one. You gladly accepted his offer, although his kindness seemed weird and suspicious to you. 
Maybe you just weren't used to people being nice to you simply out of human decency and without any ulterior motives, but someone as high up and rich as Niki or Wonyoung should not be bothered by someone like you. They definitely shouldn't be offering you rides in their expensive sports cars. 
“Oh c’mon Wony, we gotta give our transfer the princess treatment” he said, shooing her away from the passenger seat with his hand. 
She rolled her eyes playfully, but agreed to give up her front seat, which you tried to convince her to take back for a little over a minute. 
“No Y/nnie, you're probably going to meet our little devil tonight, you need as much peace as you can get before that” she assured, and you just shook your head at her reluctance. 
“And who exactly are you talking about?” you asked, turning around to once again face Wonyoung who already got comfortable in the back seat.
“I’ll ask you that question tomorrow morning, it’s more fun that we keep it a secret for now” she giggled childishly, and Niki nodded his head approvingly at her idea. 
You sighed sarcastically, and tried to remember any person they didn't go into full detail about just a couple of hours ago. Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, all of them kept getting mixed up in your head as you had no real idea as to what the three looked like. You passed by the cafeteria with Wonyoung earlier, where you didn’t quite register what Jay and Sunghoon looked like. Maybe it’s someone completely different, or someone affiliated with the three guys you had a fair amount of information about. 
“You drink, don’t you?” Niki asked, turning his head to face you for just a mere second, before focusing his eyes back on the road. 
“Not really” you answered unbothered. 
Drinking was nothing to be proud about anyways, and assuming Niki doesn't want to lose his recently acquired drivers license, he probably wasn't going to do it either. 
“Same here. Me and Wony don’t drink” he smiled “But the rest of them, their a different kind of fucked up. Especially your precious, sweet, innocent boyfriend, Wonyoung” he added, and looked at the girl through his rear view mirror. 
She screwed her face jokingly “Sunghoon doesn't drink that much, at least now that he’s with me” she defended, and he scoffed. 
“And you’re stupid for thinking he’s not getting shit faced every weekend with his demonic cult of a friend group” he commented, and she huffed in annoyance crossing her arms. 
“Y/nnie, you know what Hoon looks like, right?” she turned her attention to you. 
You shook your head, causing her to pull out her phone in order to present you with pictures of her beloved boyfriend. 
He was smoking fucking hot, but his expression and lack of emotion on every picture made you think that maybe Niki was right, he truly looked like he didn't give a single fuck about the girl. Well it seems to be working out for them so far, so who are you to butt in. 
“Keep an eye on him, I need to prove that my boyfriend is not the alcoholic and druggie you-” she pointed her finger at Niki “make him out to be” 
“No problem” you smiled and she excitedly held your hand. 
“Just when you do catch him chugging down shot glasses like a pig, don't tell her cause she won't believe you anyways” he murmured, but the both of you heard him anyways. 
You turned to Wonyoung and rolled your eyes playfully which she gave you a hushed giggle at, agreeing with whatever you were thinking about. 
The road felt like it had been going on forever, you swore you already saw the same street signs and lanterns a couple minutes back. It felt like Niki had been going in circles, but those thoughts were most likely caused by your absence in this area of town. 
After what felt like an eternity in Niki’s uncomfortable low-floor car, that was impossible to get comfortable in, he had finally pulled over into a gravel filled space. In the distance a modern house was illuminated by colorful lights, and the music could be quietly heard from the place you were standing in. 
The interior of the place was suffocating you, the music giving you a headache, the smell of cigarettes, weed, alcohol and sweat seeping into your skin, as you and Wonyoung pushed through the crowd. Wonyoung didn't seem to be affected as she pushed through the bodies in order to find her boyfriend who she must have missed terribly for the past five hours. 
“Sunghoonnie!” she beamed, and his body instantly turned to the sound of her squeaky voice. 
He was hard to read, you didn't exactly know if he was excited to see her or praying for her to leave him and his friends alone. He held a glass with a brownish liquid in his hand, and you knew for a fact Wonyoung was trying to ignore it or pretend it wasn't what everyone else knew it was. 
Sunghoon was obviously drinking whiskey. 
Even they're choice of alcohol was so different from what you knew back in your public school. Those kids could barely afford the cheapest liquor, and here you were witnessing Sunghoon and his friends downing bottles worth more than the pocket money your brother gave you every month. 
“Oh great, two Wonyoung’s. Can’t women just stick to painting their nails and doing their makeup? This is not the place for you” Jay commented as he finally noticed the two of you. 
“Did your daddy teach you that? I wasn't talking to you, dickhead” the girl next to you answered with a sarcastic pout to her face. 
“I’m Jake” the brown haired boy stuck his hand out “You're new, right?” 
Wonyoung had already let you go to entertain her boyfriend who obviously was not having it. Even as she was eating his face, he wasn't half as passionate about it as she was. 
“Yeah” you took his hand “Y/n” 
He had a devilish grin as he and the blond boy exchanged glances. 
“So where are you coming from?” Jake asked, but his eyes weren't even focused on your face, instead staring right into your partially exposed chest. 
You sighed, and leaned against the wall “Doesn't matter” maybe you had a terrible judgment of character, but you knew that admitting to coming from a public, low income school would end you right then and there. 
“You’re right, it doesn't” he smirked, hoping that you had understood his intentions by now, “Want a drink?” he asked, turning around to unveil a couple glasses and a bottle of Dalmore whiskey. 
“I don't really drink” you explained, trying to keep up with your nonchalant facade that you prayed would spare you some embarrassment tonight. 
It felt stressful to be around them, their demeanor intimidating. 
“Oh c’mon, one little glass never hurt anyone” Jay uttered, already pouring a glass that he was shoving into your hand a couple seconds later. 
He looked incredibly hot doing so, his slicked back blond hair and white button down almost making you forget he’s a mentally unstable and misogynistic idiot. 
Did they all have to be so irresistibly hot? Was being rich not enough? 
“Drink it, there’s a reward afterwards” he added, as his attempts to place the glass in your hand turned out to be successful. 
“Only if you’re a good girl” Jake added, and Jay with a devilish smile hit his shoulder. 
You examined the glass, remembering all the stories of boys spiking drinks with drugs that Shotaro told you about, but all that seemed so unimportant right now. 
You promised yourself to never go against what your mind told you, but that was broken the minute you downed the glass, the unfamiliar, burning flavor coating your throat. 
“Atta girl” Jake praised, as he took the glass from your hand.
“Women are so easy, it’s crazy” Jay whispered, assuring you wouldn't hear his words “Let me pour you another one” he said, his voice a little louder this time. 
You shook your head, but he seemed to ignore that all together, grabbing the cup and filling it to the brim once again. 
“Drink up” Jake slurred, and focused his eyes onto the way your throat looked while you swallowed the liquid. 
They were disgusting. The way they objectified you, the way they looked at you like you were going to let them hit without any problems. 
The boys you knew would make jokes, but they’d never act on it like Jay and Jake did. 
You slammed the glass on the table where it was previously laid, and without a word turned away from the two men who were clearly confused about your sudden departure. 
“We’ll see each other soon, yeah?” Jake called, and with a forced smile you mouthed a ‘Maybe’. 
“She still doesn't know about all the filth that goes on in here, eh?” Jay chuckled devilishly, and Jake smirked, pouring himself a drink in the cup you left behind. 
You had already thought that Wonyoung and Niki were completely different from the people you used to surround yourself with, but after meeting Jake and Jay, you cursed yourself for even thinking that. You had given up your social life, so meeting new people regularly was never something that you did, but you never met someone so deranged. Were the girls at this school all so easy and compliant to their orders? You just wondered where their ego came from. 
Squeezing through all the damp bodies was definitely a challenge, but finding a quiet and empty room surely made it worth it. 
The room was practically empty, you assumed something that was supposed to resemble a guest bedroom, but you doubted any guest would wanna sleep here. A single bed in the middle of the large room was not enough. 
You closed the door behind you with a quiet squeak, and threw yourself on the bed, your eyes facing the ceiling. 
Amongst the weird smell that surrounded the room a voice called you “You're the new girl, aren't you?” 
You didn't notice the open balcony door upon entering. 
Your body automatically turned to face the voice, a handsome and presumably tall boy sat on one of the plastic chairs. Smoke circled around him as he looked at you with heavy eyelids, taking another hit from the joint between his fingers. 
You leaned your head on the palm of your hand “How do you know?” 
“News spreads fast around here. You don’t know, do you?” he gave you a childish smile, and with a nod to his head he without a word offered you to smoke with him, which you declined. 
“What’s your name?” you asked him, his dark eyes bringing discomfort to your body. 
“Why should I tell you, transfer?” he laughed, and you stiffened up at his answer. “It’s Heeseung” he said after a moment, noticing that you were not enjoying his jokes. 
Lee Heeseung was the youngest son of Lee Guwon and Kim Shinhye, the founders and owners of the largest hotel line in the country. They just recently went international, opening yet another hotel-restaurant in the heart of Singapore. His older sister, Lee Rina, had no interest in the company, firmly convinced that it's a greedy industry. She moved to Norway to study and just never came back. But his older brother, Lee Haejun, was different. He was stuck on the idea of becoming the next CEO. After both him and Heeseung were old enough to understand what benefits came with being a leader of a major hotel line, they stopped treating each other like brothers, instead focusing on the rivalry that was brewing. They wanted so badly to prove to their father who's more competent, who deserves it more, that at one point it became too much. 
Heeseung at one point no longer wanted any of it. He just wanted his brother back. Haejun just never was the same brother Heeseung learned to love. He didn't care. Heeseung felt like he lost both of his siblings although they weren't actually gone. 
“I don’t think they mentioned you” you murmured, trying to recall the conversations you had with Wonyoung and Niki. 
“Wonyoung and Niki? Probably because they don't like me” he laughed, and put out his blunt on the tiles of the balcony, throwing what was left into a jar filled with water. 
“They like everyone, I think it’s a ‘you’ problem” you assumed, and he scoffed. 
His body sluggishly stood up from the chair, as he tried to not fall over the balcony “Both of them are fake as fuck, and I don’t think you’re one to judge” 
You sighed “You don’t know them” 
“I know them better than you, transfer” he chuckled, “They always cuddle up to new students, just like Wonyoung did to Jake, and whenever they go slightly out of line, they drop them” he explained, and you foolishly didn't believe his words, choosing to stand with your new friends who you in reality, knew nothing about. 
“I don’t know, I don't think the Jake that I just met, and got forced to drink by, is a good example” you murmured, playing with your hair, avoiding eye contact with the boy. 
He had this dark aura surrounding him, his hooded eyes just adding into his image, making him look much more scary. 
He slowly moved towards you, accompanying you on the silk covered bed. That’s when you could truly analyze his face; bloodshot, brown eyes, a curve to his lips, his nose slightly pointed and eyebrows straight. His skin was glistening, a soft tan to it. He looked at you so intensely, and you couldn't quite reciprocate, scared of his intimidating presence. 
“Jake was always like this, they just didn't know how to handle him” he smiled, his hand inching closer to where your legs lied “They love saying that Jay ruined him, but he didn't even have to do that” 
“What do you mean by having to do that? Why would he have to?” you asked, as your body froze, not allowing you to move further away from him. 
He didn't stop attempting to close the gap between the two of you “You know what I mean” he smirked “This isn't the place you think it is, pretty girl. We can't have a goody two shoes prancing around” his smile was straight, as his hand moved to sooth your lower thigh. 
You never were this close to a boy before. 
“I still don't get it” you said, your voice trembling as he moved further up. 
“You don't need to, you’ll see for yourself. Soon, don't worry” he cooed, and you could feel his sinister words burn through your skin. 
“You like this? Tell me” he asked, his grip on your thigh tightened, and you felt words get stuck in your throat. 
“ I don’t know you, Heeseung” you answered out of breath. 
He liked the way his name slipped from your lips, your tone mellow and soothing. He could definitely get used to it. 
“You don’t need to know everyone you want to have a little fun with” his eyes twinkled slightly, as he spoke softly, trying to distract you from his touch moving to places you  probably wouldn't like him being in. 
“Do you do this to every girl you just meet?” you piqued, and he chuckled, finally taking out his hand from under your dress in order to move a strand of hair out of your face. 
“Only the ones I find pretty” he answered. 
Heeseung was such a lightweight, he couldn't stop his smile and laughter as he played with you, knowing you could pretend, but not resist him. He wanted to undress you right there and then, behind an unlocked door, which he’d hoped some disgusting pervert like Jake would open, they could perhaps have you together, share your body. But he was smarter than that. He couldn't alienate you so early on. 
“Maybe another time” you murmured, giving up your previous position to stand up from the bed. 
He didn't let you, standing up with you, blocking you from walking to the door. He stumbled a little bit, but managed to hold you down. 
“You wanted to get to know me, what happened to that?” he whispered. 
“I never said that” you replied, and attempted once again to leave the room. 
No one has ever had this effect on you. You didn't truly want to leave, not only his firm stance was keeping you away from that door. 
You had boyfriends, but all of them were too scared to even hold your hand in public, not to mention kiss you. So you were aware of these things, but not familiar with them. 
“Why do you have to be so tough? I just want to make you feel good? What’s the crime in that?” he cooed, and brought his hand up to caress your cheek. 
“I always wanted it to be special, not some one night stand” you voiced, and he hummed. 
It felt so weird and embarrassing to talk to him like this. You didn't know him. You also couldn't say no, cause some part of you wanted it too. 
Maybe it’s because you wanted to fit in, maybe because you didn't want to be any different from the people that went to this school. But you’d always be different- as long as your parents weren't owners of a giant conglomerate or business, you’d always be different. 
“My sweet girl is a virgin? That’s okay, don’t be embarrassed” he cooed, and squeezed your hand tightly. 
You never knew how hard it is to be sober and talk to a high person. He just didn't fully comprehend the environment that surrounded him, not a single ounce of fear or embarrassment in his veins, just nothingness. 
“Can I kiss you?” he asked with a soft voice.
Heeseung knew exactly what he was doing, he knew exactly how his slurred words sounded and how they affected you. 
You nodded, and he grabbed your jaw, pulling you into his embrace. Nothing could have prepared you for his wet, plump lips that molded perfectly into yours. You felt so good against him, and he couldn't find himself pulling away, the bulge in his pants growing as you fingers slightly brushed along the longer strands of hair on the back of his head. 
It was all so new to you. Maybe it was the alcohol that Jake and Jay forced down your throat, or maybe you just couldn't help but naturally feel attracted to Heeseung. It’s been barely 24 hours, and you’ve broken all the promises you made to yourself. 
While you were overthinking, Heeseung wondered just how long until he gets to fuck your pretty, virgin hole.  
“Mmm, it wasn't that hard, was it?” he smiled as he was forced to pull away out of lack of air, his eyes practically closing on him. 
You avoided his gaze, a small smile on your swollen lips. He laughed softly, and grabbed your hand in his. 
“I just want to help you. You’re a big girl, you should know how the world works” he cooed, dumbing you down. But you accepted it. Every word of his you took in and analyzed. Maybe he was right. 
He was this big, important rich guy from an important family, and you were just living in his world. You were nothing like him, his worries surrounded taking over the company or not, while you had to wonder if you had the money to go out with your friend on the weekend. You could try, but you’ll never be the same. 
And Heeseung knew that. He knew how much power he had over you simply because his bank account was decorated by nothing less than quadruple digits. 
“I don’t think you should be hanging out with Wonyoung and Niki. They're fake, you know?” he whispered, and focused his eyes on you “Let me be the one you come to when you need help, okay?” 
You nodded, and he just hummed in approval, liking the way you agreed with anything he said. 
You knew he was treating you like a child, babying you and bossing you around like he even had any right to do so, but you didn't find yourself stopping him either. 
To you he spoke with such delicacy, and he paid attention to you in a way no one ever has. Heeseung was different from anyone you encountered, and that’s exactly what pulled you in, forcing you to uncover more about him. 
But he just liked how you gave into his words way easier than he thought you would. He never knew it would be this easy to manipulate you. Heeseung never expected you to so naively believe that Wonyoung and Niki were the ones who were going to do you wrong, that they were the ones to cuddle up to new students in order to drop them just moments later. He had you where he wanted you and it didn't even take him a full hour. 
______
“You didn’t text me last night, did you get home alright?” Wonyoung asked, settling down next to you in the study hall. 
You ignored her gaze, her shuffling and moving, making an annoyed groan escape from your lips. 
“Yeah,” you replied swiftly, turning your attention back to the worksheet in front of you. 
Heeseung’s words had stuck with you. You couldn’t fathom the idea of Niki and Wonyoung, one of the nicest, most welcoming people you have ever met, being bullies. But perhaps that was the reason for their warm introduction. They wanted you to trust them. 
Niki, noticing that Wonyoung had finally joined you in the study hall, turned around in his chair, taking out one of his airpods. 
“Did you find who we were talking about in the car? A special someone told me they saw you together last night” Niki smiled widely like an idiot, and Wonyoung giggled, awaiting your answer. 
You scoffed “The so-called devil” and murmured “Heeseung, right? He was very nice, I don’t get it” 
They laughed, and you felt something twist inside of you at the sound of their forced posh, and elegant laughter. 
“That’s the point. He’s nice at first, to get you to like him, trust him, and then he strikes” Niki told, and to you it sounded like he was describing his little mutual admiration circle with Wonyoung. 
“I don’t know, honestly. He seemed like a good person” you inquired quietly, trying to focus on the work you had to do. 
“Let me guess, he asked for consent, or said he ‘just wants to help you’, and you believed he’s a respectful guy? Y/n don’t be so naive” Wonyoung said sternly, and you scoffed, remembering how her boyfriend’s best friends treated you. Sunghoon was probably no different, so who was she to judge? 
“You're dating Sunghoon, Wonyoung. Mind you, he’s one of the all so bad Heeseung’s friends” 
Niki and Wonyoung looked at each other confused, wondering why you were suddenly being so cold and distant. 
“He wasn’t like that always,” she said, and you looked at her questioning. 
“You think people can change so drastically, just like that? He always had it in him, he just found the right people to unleash it with, that’s all” you answered, and she felt her body shift slightly. 
Sunghoon transferred to Saint Matthews in his sophomore year, after studying abroad in an international school in Singapore. No one could really know if Sunghoon was any different before he joined, because he almost immediately hit it off with Heeseung, and his friend group. 
“You don’t know what you're talking about” Niki said, with an annoyed look on his face. 
“Oh kill me then. All I know is the shitty little gig you’re playing on me. I know what you guys do to new students- shape them to be your perfect little servant, and then drop them when it stops being amusing to you. Just like you did to Jake. So stop trying to blame everything on Heeseung when you know damn well he's not a bad person” you replied frustrated, collecting all your things, and standing up to leave the space. 
Niki and Wonyoung were stunned at your words, following you until you disappeared out the door. 
They realized you truly had met Heeseung, and that there was no turning back now. 
Just like any girl, he had you tied to his leash, and they were powerless. 
____
“Yeah, it’s crazy. I didn’t expect her to fold so easily” Heeseung laughed, as he downed another shot of tequila Jay stole from his dads alcohol cabinet. His father owned so many bottles he probably wouldn’t notice one of them went missing. 
Just like he didn’t notice his son's worsening alcoholic tendencies. 
“No trust me, she didn’t even fight back that much when we offered her whiskey” Jake sneered, and Jay grinned evilly. 
Jay was the first one to notice you. He caught a glimpse of you as you stood so shyly in the cafeterias entryway, Wonyoung happily talking to you, as you looked around the place. He didn’t recognize your face.  
You were pretty to him. Your face gleaned with innocence, and he could smell the way you were so intimidated by the people and sinister atmosphere of the school. He couldn’t even bother listening to whatever Sunghoon was going on about next to his ear, focused on only you. He knew exactly what happened to sweet girls like you, and he couldn’t wait for it. 
And maybe at one point in time he could have you too. His big hands would slowly take off your shirt, his fingers slipping down under your jeans, pressing against your pulsing core. You’d tell him to stop, and he’d only laugh in your ear, unbuckling his belt. 
“Wonyoung said she flipped off on them today when they mentioned you” Sunghoon tuned to Heeseung, pouring himself another shot “Niki said it’s like this with every girl, and she totally went bonkers on them or some shit” he laughed before his face twisted as the burning liquid slid down his throat. 
“That’s so pathetic. She doesn’t even know him” Jake chuckled, and leaned back in his seat, his back melting into the soft cushion. 
“That’s like the whole point, she isn’t supposed to know,” Heeseung noted, and they nodded slightly. “And I don’t think that’s more pathetic than Wonyoung leeching onto Sunghoon even though he doesn’t even hide the fact he doesn’t like her in the slightest” 
Jay scoffed sarcastically “Defending her so quickly, sure” he hummed, and Heeseung rolled his eyes. 
“My mom got her a campaign with our company, and now she thinks we’re gonna get married. It’s so annoying” Sunghoon explained, and they laughed. 
“Then just breakup with her. She needs you, but you don’t need her, dude” Jake commented, and Sunghoon shook his head lively. 
“She’s nice to have around. And it’s not like I don’t like her at all, she just gets on my nerves” he explained. 
“When my mom pissed off my dad, she got divorce papers handed to her, and kicked out the door. Women are supposed to serve men, not be an obstacle. All she is, is an obstacle. You’re taking over your mom’s company, you can’t let her get in the way” Jay turned to Sunghoon, who just pretended to listen to his nonsense. 
Maybe Jay was one of his best friends, but he couldn’t bear listening to his bullshit. He grew up around women- a single mother, his nannies who were strictly women (since his mother didn’t trust men around her only child), and cousins who were practically only girls. He knew women could achieve things alone, his mother being his best example. 
“So, what is your plan?” Jake averted his gaze to Heeseung, who didn’t seem to be amused by the conversation surrounding you and Wonyoung. 
“Was there ever a plan? She doesn’t even put up a fight, and already blew up on her new friends. This won’t be hard” he answered, and Jake nodded, satisfied with Heeseung’s answer. 
“I think you guys are wasting your time, honestly” Sunghoon commented. 
Jay looked at him annoyed “You and your feminist bullshit again” he murmured, and didn’t even bother pouring the substance into his shot glass, drinking straight from the bottle. 
“Jesus Christ, Jay. Just cause I have the tiniest percentage of respect for women, doesn’t mean I’m some fucking feminist. I’m not stopping you from seducing that girl, I just think it’s a waste of time. If you want pussy so bad, just find yourself a hook up, it’s not that hard” he answered, and Jay seemed to accept his answer, too tired to start another fight about this with his friend. 
“We’re only 19, Sunghoon. It won't hurt to have some fun while we can” Jake piqued, and with a swift movement of his hand, grabbed the bottle from the floor, tilting it to pour the rest of liquid into his mouth. 
“I just think that's kind of unappreciative” he murmured, and all of them turned to him. Jay rolled his eyes and with a sigh ushered Sunghoon to continue “A shit load of kids our age don't get to have half the opportunities we do, so if I were you I wouldn't fuck around so much, but actually put in the work to maybe prove that we aren't fucking imbeciles who just sit around and get chauffeured all day” he explained, and they all looked at him with a confused gaze. 
“Says the one who is failing practically all his classes. And what does any of that have to do with Y/n? What do you like her or something? You can hit if you want, it’s an open game” Jay laughed, and Sunghoon sighed.
But he wasn't annoyed, just incredibly frustrated that none of his friends understood what he was trying to convey to them. 
He didn't study, at least not much, and even though he was always aware of the fact that he will most definitely take over his mothers company, he didn't quite like the idea of people thinking he only did because there were no other options. In some way he wanted to earn it, or at least feel like he did deserve it. 
“It’s most definitely not an open game” Heeseung commented, and Jay looked at him with wide eyes. 
“What? C’mon dude, she’s some public school transfer, it’s just fun and games. Don't start being all protective and jealous over her” he scoffed, this being the second time that Heeseung made a comment of that sort about you. 
Jay didn't like this new found protectiveness Heeseung had acquired for you even though barely 24 hours ago he was making equally nasty and perverted comments about you. 
“You're being an asshole today, you know that right?” Heeseung started, his eyes scanning the room, avoiding Jay. 
“I’m being an asshole? All of you suddenly started acting like some fuckass henpecked husbands, when this would be the exact behavior you’d make fun of just a month ago” he groaned, gritting his teeth. 
“I’m sorry Jay that your mom doesn't love you, and your dad only sees you as a token of business, but we weren't raised like that” Sunghoon said, standing up from his seat, ready to leave. 
“That’s fucked up Hoon” Jake whispered, looking at Jay’s spechless expression. 
“You know what else is fucked up Jake? That Jay is a fucking misogynist and Heeseung is some otherworldly type of addict and no is trying to help them. I have been the only person who has been putting in the slightest amount of effort to try and get them help, but I can't possibly do it alone. That’s fucked up Jaeyun. I’m leaving” he blew up, grabbing all his things, and with a tired sigh he left the living room, going straight for the door. 
It was true. Maybe Sunghoon was an idiot and sometimes acted like a huge asshole, but he was right. He loved his friends and seeing them ruin and throw their lives away hurt him. But everyone who was caught up in the same wind, didn't seem to notice. 
“Call me when you fucking grow up, Sunghoon” Jay shouted, an angered expression plastered all over his face as the door slams abruptly. 
All three of them sat in silence as they tried to figure out what happened in the span of just a couple minutes. How did the conversation come down to Jay and Heeseung having issues, and why was Sunghoon suddenly trying to act all sweet and caring when he never did care.
 Or at least they didn't notice the countless times Sunghoon tried to stop them, but to no avail. 
“I think I’m gonna go too,” Heeseung said, after a moment of dead silence. 
Without a word, Jay and Jake nodded, still not quite present in the moment. 
That’s exactly how Heeseung ended up in your home, dumping all his issues onto you as you attempted to comfort him with a slight brush of your fingers against his soft hair. 
Your outbreak with Wonyoung and Niki, left you feeling alone once again. Those thoughts kept eating you alive, but you knew that's exactly what they wanted. They wanted you to desperately crawl back to them, begging for another chance as you cried out an apology. 
You knew that coming back to them would only prove this (untrue) point of them using you and many others for their own pleasure. Turning around, and apologizing would hurt your pride beyond repair. 
And it wasn't like Heeseung was making this up either. His heart genuinely cracked at the sight of his friends fighting. 
They fought, all the time, but there was no comparing this to a fight over who gets to take the first hit or who gets to play the better character, to Sunghoon leaving completely, his harsh words still lingering in the air. 
He wasn't an addict. He was a normal teenager doing normal teenager things. He wasn't wrong for being curious.
“I’m happy that you stood up for me today, at study hall” he said, his voice low as your touch was putting him in a sleepy state. 
“How do you know about that?” you asked, not even having the time to tell him about it. 
He smiled, rolling on his side to face you “Sunghoon told me” 
“Are you really not mad at me?” you tilted your head curiously. 
He laughed, and lifting himself from your lap, he grabbed your hand in his. You could feel his warm touch embrace you fully, the action alone was enough to calm your uneasy heart. 
“No one stands up for me. I could never be mad at you for being on my side even though you barely know me” he admitted, and it made your plush lips form into a small smile. 
“Your friends never stand up for you? I find that hard to believe, Hee” 
He likes the way his name slips from your lips, the usage of the nickname forcing him to stifle the growing, uncomfortable feeling in his pants. He hated the fact that he had to control himself around you. But still, he loved the innocent look on your face as you were so oblivious to the boner in his pants. 
“They just don't know how to, I think,” he said in a whisper. “They're too caught up in their own lives, and I don't blame them. They have a lot on their plate as it is” he added, his lips forming into a straight smile, as he tried to look apologetic in front of you. 
Heeseung wanted you to see him as this complex, emotional being that's only purpose on earth is to help others. His financial situation wasn't helping him create this image, he feared that you’d think he’s just searching for problems, wanting to experience life with all the hardships that a person like him doesn't usually get bothered by. 
But you never thought so, you viewed Heeseung the exact way he wanted you to. You believed in every word he said. If only he knew that though, his cocky nature would probably fight its way to domination. 
“You’re a good friend, Heeseung” you smiled, squeezing his hand tighter. He chuckled lightly, looking at you with the same straight smile “You have me now, you know that? You said you’d help me whenever, and I want to do the same for you” 
You vividly remember his lips on yours. You can recall exactly how he tasted and how he felt against your own skin. He helped you reach some otherworldly ecstacy without going further than a simple touch. You knew you wanted him to be more, but it was too early for that admission, too early to let yourself sink in that feeling. 
You didn't understand what was going on between the two of you, where this connection was heading, and in some way it thrilled you. You couldn't possibly be friends, not after what he said that night. 
“I hope you know I meant everything I said” he uttered, and you slowly nodded, trying to recall every word that slipped from his pretty lips “I think you’re special” he added. 
Heeseung didn't know himself if this was all fake, cause at that moment it felt too real to him. He was speaking from his heart, in some way. 
Lee Heeseung was beautiful, the closest you’ll get to any godly figure. He couldn't possibly be flawed in any way. 
But there were some things the boy wouldn't even admit to himself. All the fighting, and neglecting, made him out to be this way. He always longed for the type of love no one but a parent could give him. He wanted to be loved so much it picked him apart. Heeseung never experienced what it’s like to care for someone so much, to care for someone unconditionally. 
And as the youngest sibling, no one had that love for him, because there was someone before him. 
“I’m definitely not special, Hee. It’s all you” you smiled, and he laughed softly, his eyes falling onto his lap as a rosy tint decorated his cheeks. 
“It could always be just us. You could come over, and stay till morning” he turned to you, a newfound sincerity in his eyes, as he spoke to you. 
“You’d want that?” you uttered quietly. 
The faint melody playing from the radio became muffled as you sat next to him. You never felt closer to another person, and it was all so new to you. 
“Mhm, really” he confessed, and you believed. 
It was all so domestic- he wanted to escape his family line, but he behaved just like them. Heeseung could never change the blood he was born with, blood of condescending, arrogant, manipulative, money hungry assholes. 
“Will you promise to stay with me?” he asked, ending the comforting silence that embraced you. 
You laughed lightly, finding his worries sweet “I promise” you said sticking out your pinky finger. 
“You still do that?” he said with a soft chuckle. You pouted awaiting his finger that could solidify the promise. 
He laughed and intertwined his pinky with yours. 
_______ 
Spending time with Heeseung was easy. He just always knew what to say and what to do. He was like the sweetest thing bee’s like you would fly towards. 
He had eventually introduced you to Jake, Jay and Sunghoon who eagerly apologized for coming onto you and forcing alcohol down your throat at the party, and stupidly you laughed it off not wanting to give them reasons to dislike you. 
You wanted to fit in with them. Eunseok wasn't as happy, trying to keep up with your new lifestyle, but something deep inside him didn't want to stop. He knew he owed it to you after the years of neglect his parents had presented you with. After the years of living in his shadow maybe this was the only way to repay you. 
Jake had seemed awfully desperate when you first met him. He looked and acted like one of those sleazy guys who adds girls on snapchat and sends them unsolicited dick pics, but he quickly managed to prove you wrong. You rarely spent time alone with him, almost never, but whenever that moment came, Jake became a completely different person. He was nice. He was actually so painstakingly nice to the point where you would ponder his existence in that friend group. 
And Jay- you felt nothing towards the boy. The one thing Wonyoung and Niki got right was his obvious desire to become a Korean Andrew Tate. He had nothing to give except misogynist comments he’d pretend were only jokes, and if you dared to be offended then you simply had no sense of humor. 
Sunghoon, it was hard to describe him. He just didn't really talk much. He was never there, he wasn't present although sitting just across from the ongoing conversation. Maybe he always was this way, or maybe you were the problem. 
But Heeseung, he felt some kind of obsession towards you. He wanted to carve his initials deep into your skin until you bleed a deep shade of red, all out of love for him. He wanted to touch you in the places your mere, inexperienced fingers couldn't reach. He couldn't understand you, he couldn't bear the fact that you didn't fit into the pattern, and it made him sick. 
“Get a fucking grip Y/n!” Wonyoung screamed, tugging at the thick material of your blazer. 
She pulled you discreetly into a dark hallway that connected the music hall to the rest of the school. 
“Don’t touch me” you uttered, trying to peer away from the girl. 
Wonyoung didn't look mad, angry, her face was full of desperation as her glassy eyes looked at your tired face. 
“Don't you see what he’s doing to you? He’s trying to ruin you. Why are you being so fucking stubborn!” she begged for understandment but your face was blank. 
“Are you jealous? What is this about, Wonyoung? God, If you want Sunghoon’s attention then go ask him for it. I don’t know you, and you don't know me” you grit your teeth, as she looked at you terrified. 
“What are you even talking about?” she uttered, her voice cracking. 
“I’m done playing your game. Find another person to play with, I’m sure there's plenty” you replied. 
“Y/n you're not one of us. You never will be, so stop trying so hard. Getting with Heeseung won't help you fit in either. And you better not come to me when he destroys whatever reputation you have left” her words were harsh, and it seemed like your mention of Sunghoon riled her up completely. 
Wonyoung and Sunghoon have been dating for a while now. Only Wonyoung would know the exact timeline since Sunghoon had no interest in celebrating milestones with the girl. 
It wasn't like he didn't like her at all, he wouldn't give her the time of day if that was the case. He just found it thrilling and entertaining, the way she called his name, the way she’d give up everything for him if he asked. Sunghoon’s mother had set him up with the eldest daughter of Taesung Group the moment she found out he’d be a boy, so to him, Wonyoung was just a distraction from the tiring business life his mother engulfed him in. 
“Give it up, Jang Wonyoung” a male voice echoed, footsteps coming closer. 
She looked disgusted when the vision of the boy became clearer. 
“Didn't manipulate her enough today, so you had to come do it here? Fuck off, Heeseung” she sneared. 
Heeseung laughed, and grabbed your hand ostentatiously. Her gaze was glued to your intertwined hands. It made you smile slightly, the way her lip twitched at the vision, it was satisfying. 
“No one’s manipulating anyone. Sorry if that messes up your little narrative” he replied, with a smile that made her want to throw up. 
“I’ve been here long enough to know that's bullshit. You’re full of shit, Lee Heeseung” 
Your eyes flew back and forth as you tried to analyze everything about the situation. 
“Open your eyes, Y/n. Can’t you see it?” she whispered, her expression changing as she turned towards you. 
“I’m not like you, remember? So stop trying to give me advice, it’s pathetic” you voiced, and she scoffed.
“Did she say that to you” Heeseung looked down at you worriedly, and as soon as you nodded slightly, he looked back up to Wonyoung “And I’m the bad guy? At least she didn't have to convince Kim Sunoo’s parents to forcibly get her into the school” he smirked, and Wonyoung with a frustrated groan, positioned her body towards the music hall, leaving you two in the eerie hallway. 
Wonyoung was the best scoring student, but things used to be completely different. She despised studying, keeping a large distance from all sorts of books. But her parents couldn't fathom the idea that Wonyoung would not attend Saint Matthews. So with a bottle of expensive wine and some sweet words, the girl's parents got her in using their connection to Kim Sunoo’s parents who were major politicians in the country. 
She didn't like people bringing that up ever since it drunkenly slipped her while at a birthday party, so Heeseung exposing it in front of you had her embarrassed for the rest of the day. She wanted you to believe her badly, but the revelations only confirmed all your speculations about the girl, making it practically impossible for you to listen to anything she has to say to you from now on. 
… 
“God Wonyoung is such a bitch! Is she jealous? What is her issue seriously” you complained, pacing around Heeseung’s terrifyingly large room. 
It was your first time over at the boys house. It was unusual for you, all the maids showing you around, treating you like royalty, guiding you to every room. Their fake smiles, and forced acts of kindness made you sick. 
His house was colossal, massive, it extended into a vast land and the drive up to it alone was long-lasting. The walk from your apartment to a nearby store wasn’t half the length of his home, and it was appalling to you in a way. 
Heeseung’s room, for contrast, was bright, warm and welcoming. The sunlight shined down on his belongings from the ceiling high window, creating a special space where all his piano, guitars and other musical instruments lay. You recall him telling you about his passion for music, but you took it as more of an underground soundcloud rapper type of situation. 
“It’s just Sunghoon. It’s always been about Sunghoon” he answered calmly, sitting down on his couch, and with his wrought hand, patted down his lap, beckoning you to come to him. 
“Your friends are nice, and all, but you know nothing can substitute a girl best-friend. I just hoped she would be different” you sighed, and placing yourself on Heeseung’s lap, your arms automatically wrapped around his neck, head slightly leaning on his shoulder. 
His hands instinctively encased your waist, his head moving along with his eyes, as he tried to get a better look at your worn out face. 
For a moment Lee Heeseung felt bad, seeing how much comfort the two of you found in each other, knowing he can’t possibly let this go on longer. It started off with pure lust, a need to ruin the scholarship student that knows nothing about life from this side. Now  he was finding himself wanting more, knowing he can’t give it. 
Heeseung wanted to wreck your innocent image, but found himself losing it far before he even had the chance to start his plan. 
“They’re your friends now too, Y/n” he whispered, the moment feeling way too sacred “She’s lying, you know that right?” he asked after a moment of silence. He looked at you once again, checking for your expression. 
“I know, Seungie” your voice is muffled by the material of his jacket, but he can hear your words loud and clear. 
He feels like all the air in his lungs has been vacuumed up, as his last breath hitches in his throat. He feels sick. Your pretty eyes look at him with so much sincerity, trust, yet all he can think about is vivid images of your small frame under him. He can't help but wonder just how much prettier you’d look with tears in your eyes as you’d tell him it hurts. 
His fingers slightly slide over the buttons of your blouse, as he continues to stare deeply into your face, searching for signs to stop. But you look towards him indifferently, a calm expression decorating your features. 
Heeseung’s hand hovers over your uncovered thigh. He wants to feel the wetness that seeps through your panties on his fingers so badly. He wants to slowly unbutton your blouse, his eyes scanning your figure, his hands grabbing onto anything. 
“Do you want to smoke with me?” he asked, hoping that his lessons on how to properly inhale would lead him to something a little more intimate. 
“I haven't done that yet” you admit, and he chuckles. 
“I know. This could be your first” he smiles “Remember, I told you I want to help you. Well I’m doing it now” he added, quickly 
“Am I going to be fine?” you asked, peeling your head off his shoulder to look at him properly. 
Heeseung smiles leaning back on the couch. His fingers delicately push stray strands of hair behind your ear “I’m fine, so I’m sure you’ll be okay” he assures and you nod moderately. 
You deliberately slide off his lap, as he stands up to rummage through the bottom drawer of his dresser. He pulls out a tin box with an adorable puppy on it, and you find it humorous in a way, considering the pretty design is hiding something so toxic inside. 
You remember the sight of high Heeseung very well. He seemed to scare you a little back then, his words slipped from his mouth with so much ease and confidence. 
“You don't have to worry, nobody really gets high on their first try” he places the box on his coffee table, carefully opening it up. 
“Well that’s no fun” you comment. 
“It isn't the case for every new smoker, but still no one really knows why,” he explained, using his extensive knowledge to educate you. 
It wasn't the ideal area of knowledge to know everything about, but it made Heeseung feel good. It made him feel safe whenever he smoked with his friends or new people. He always knew what to do and how to act if something were to go wrong. 
“This weed Jay sold off to me is hella dank, maybe you will feel something after all” he smiled, and even though you had no idea what he was saying, you reciprocated. 
Heeseung pulled out one of his filters, folding it and rolling it into a cylinder. He placed it at the end of his paper, filling it with cannabis and sprinkling just a bit of tobacco inside. He tightened it  and with his tongue moistened the shiny edge of the paper. 
“You need to feel the smoke travel down to your lungs” he explained, searching for a lighter in his pockets “Inhale for like 2 seconds, and take smaller hits so you don't cough so much” he smiled, finally pulling out a green lighter. 
You never were interested in smoking or drinking, but some part of you couldn't deny Heeseung. It was stupid, but perhaps this was your one way ticket to his heart. 
Heeseung lit the joint, staring intensely as the flame moved across the surface, waiting for the right moment to take the first hit. 
He inhaled, his teeth slightly gritting as he exhaled the smoke, the familiar scent hitting your nose. 
He held the blunt between his fingers, and moved closer towards you “I’ll guide you” 
Heeseung propped the lit cannabis next to your lips and with a nod to his head, ushered you to take it into your mouth. You assuringly looked at him, counting down the two seconds in your mind as a burning sensation coated your throat. You felt the smoke travel down to your lungs, pulling away to take a deep breath. With a small cough you exhaled, making Heeseung smile. 
He didn't know he’d enjoy seeing you like this “Good girl” 
You took a long sip of the water that has probably been on his coffee table for a long time, the liquid tasting a little weird. But you didn't care, the need to moisten your throat overpowering the unfresh taste.
“Was it good?” he asked, taking another rip. 
The smoke hit you in the face “Not the best” you answered honestly and he chuckled. 
“It gets better” he assured, and passed you the blunt again. 
… 
It felt weird. Weird in a good way. 
Your eyelids felt heavy, the laughter coming to you naturally. Obviously you didn't feel half as high as Heeseung who swore he was walking in slow motion, but you most certainly were enjoying yourself. 
To Heeseung it feels like an attack on his fragile ego, the fact that he has gotten so far but not on top of you just yet. And even with the minuscule bit of confidence he has earned right now, he needs to at least try. 
Your purity radiates off of every one of your laughs as you intently look at him, just slightly fiddling with the loose string on your skirt. If he moved just a little bit he would probably be able to see what's under the navy material. 
Heeseung’s pants start to feel uncomfortable against his skin once again as you keep on laughing so innocently at his ambiguous jokes only a virgin like you wouldn't understand. 
He wants to feel your lips against his again but this time he knows he won't stop at that. He can't. 
“I want to kiss you so bad” he admitted, and you felt an unknown wave rush through your veins, his face slowly inching closer. 
He waited patiently for a response, his mind well aware that any sudden move would cause his plan to backfire. 
But instead of letting him take the lead, you nearly closed the gap between the two of you, letting your lips just slightly graze against his, smiling as he waited impatiently. 
“Such a tease” he murmured before pressing his pretty mouth against yours, his hands traveling to the back of your neck, holding you still against him. 
He smiled into the kiss, his tongue tasting the familiar vanilla chapstick, the scent of your perfume hypnotizing, making a blur of Heeseung’s mind. The way your lips felt against him even though you were so inexperienced, it felt much more special to him. 
Heeseung’s lips never left your skin, traveling so delicately down to your jaw, placing chaste kisses everywhere he could. His ivory fingers held tightly onto your waist, his other hand cupping your cheek, as he continued to slide down to your neck. 
He wasted no time leaving small, and visible marks, his teeth slightly biting into your skin, the quiet breaths that left your mouth, riling him up even further. 
“Can I?” he asked, Heeseung’s eyes going back and forth from your face to the buttons of your dress shirt. 
With your mouth parted and an unsteady breath you nodded. 
He smirked, and continued to attack your collarbones, his fingers unbuttoning your blouse with ease. 
“You’re so hot” he breathed onto your chest, pressing you down onto the mattress fully. 
The sweet noise that slipped from your lips, made a sly smile reappear on Heeseung's face, his cock twitching in his pants, the material suffocating him. 
If he moved down even a little bit, he’d probably be able to notice the soaking wet patch on your panties. 
The way his lips felt against almost every part of your body, the soft yet sudden touch of his fingers, it all felt way too good to give up. 
Heeseung gave you a knowing look, his face just a couple centimeters from your heat, his hands digging into your thighs. 
He noticed your relectuance “You know I just want to help you” he cooed, soothing down your skin, crawling right back up to face you “Let me make you feel good, pretty girl” 
You weren't afraid of many things in your life, but most importantly, being unraveled by Heeseung and him finding nothing he wants in there. 
You nodded slowly, his smile growing with each one of your nods. You didn't know what he’d do next, the blood in your body pumping faster as you anticipated his next move. 
Heeseung moved up your skirt, and as the fabric moved up, your skin burned with anticipation. His eyes darkened as he took in the sight of your covered cunt, begging for his attention. 
“So wet” he commented, his hand gently pressing your sensitive core “I barely even touched you” he added, chuckling. 
He gave you one last glance searching for confirmation, which you once again gave him, before sliding off your underwear. Heeseung didn't even bother removing your skirt, his mouth wet with desire.
 Heeseung’s fingers barely hover over your folds, the sole heat that radiates off of him making you squirm, twitching slightly. 
He laughs “So sensitive and for what? Relax, pretty thing”. 
He positions himself against you, his eyes locking with yours as he places swift kisses on your inner thigh. His lips move down in a slow pace, and you have to stop yourself from pushing his head forward. Each peck burns on your shivering skin, overwhelming you to the bone. His breath felt soft on your bare flesh, fingers digging into your thighs. 
His tongue flicked out, coming in contact with you after what felt like eternity. Your legs fight the urge to close on him, his mouth sending shockwaves of pleasure down your body. 
You grab at the nearest pillow, covering your face with it, embarrassed at how exposed you felt in front of him. His tongue delved deeper, lapping up all he could taste of you. 
The heat of his touch, the place that warmed you. The pulse, he could hold onto it alongside other rythmns. He just couldn’t get enough, he wanted to pry you open. Time faded away slowly, as he continued to devour you. 
You were on the edge, teetering between pleasure and pain, your body begging for release, as the knot in your stomach tightened.  
His mouth latched onto you, sucking and flicking with expert precision. He was enjoying himself, the sweet taste of innocence lacing his tongue. The sweet taste of crimson red innocence that he worked so hard to diminish, that he worked so hard to scrape you of. 
Heeseung was probably the closest you'll get to heaven in this lifetime. He was God's favorite, right at your thighs giving you the most beautiful form of pleasure avaliable. 
“Fuck” his chest heaves uneasily, his fingers gripping tightly onto your thighs “I could eat you out everyday” 
You wanted to beg him for more, beg him to let you release as it became even harder to hold it in. Completely and utterly lost in the new sensation, you roll your hips, gliding against his parted lips. 
“Keep doing that, fuck” he slurs, lost in a trance, his only goal being making you feel good. 
You caught a glimpse of him for just a moment- his pretty eyes so focused, his lips swollen and covered in your arousal. With every sound, every small movement, his actions became rougher, the feeling in your stomach becoming unbearable. 
“Cum for me, please” he mumbled against your skin, his desperation to make you cum fueled by the way you can't even form a proper sentence in response. 
Your fingers grip his bed sheets, his name falling from your lips multiple times before you feel the knot in your stomach quickly coming undone, a wave of intense pleasure washing over you. 
“Oh my god” you cried before fully releasing onto his face, his tounge desperately trying to lap up every single drop of his own hard work. 
Your whole body twitched in the aftermath of your climax, Heeseung still holding you down, his pretty lips back on your thighs and stomach, as he waited out your high with you. 
“So pretty,” he murmured, looking at you with lovesick eyes. 
With just a small blunt that barely got any of you high, Heeseung managed to get you just halfway where he needed you. Obviously, he’d rather have you on your knees in front of him, tears filling up your eyes as he pushed your head further down his cock, but this was enough to satisfy him, for now. 
He was peeling apart your innocence slowly, but surely, and his ego was never higher. 
______
It’s been a long time since you’ve talked to Aeri Uchinaga. 
Aeri, or how everyone liked to call her, Giselle, was one of your closest friends from the “lower class” school you used to go to. She was like a sister to you, the only ‘family’ you ever truly had in your life.
You promised yourself to never let go of your values and never let your relationship with Aeri falter, but both of those things went down the drain a long long time ago. 
Seeing the messages between the two of you lose all their momentum, become less frequent, and come down to ‘How’s Saint Matthews’ or ‘How are you holding up over there?’ frightened you. 
Would she even want to talk to you? Would she pick up if you called? Would she care? 
“I don’t know. Maybe I should just let it go?” you said, scrolling through all the messages you and Aeri shared over the past month, noticing how you could probably count them with two hands. 
Heeseung hummed, turning away from his calculus worksheets “I think if she cared enough she’d reach out. She should understand you're busy with your new life and be the first one to initiate conversations and all” 
It was partially true. Why should you be the only one to care and keep the friendship going? She should also try more, shouldn't she? 
“I’ve known her for years, Hee. I can't just let go that easily” you murmured, and he scoffed quietly. 
“But you have me now, isn't that enough?” he asked, his expression emotionless. 
Heeseung didn't even realize his words came out much more arrogantly than he intended. 
“I know, I’m sorry” you looked down “I just still want her to be in my life, that’s all” he hummed in approval, finding it annoying, the way your words implied like he wasn’t satisfying you in every sector. 
Jay, who sat opposite of you in the study hall, sighed ostentatiously. 
“Then just text her? I don't see the issue, seriously” he commented, pulling one of his airpods out of his ear, apparently tired of hearing you complain about such an ‘easy matter’. 
“It’s not that easy, Jay” Sunghoon mumbled, not taking his eyes off the work in front of him. 
Jay gave him a questioning look, deciding not to continue the conversation, way too tired for another fight with Sunghoon. 
Sunghoon had been behaving awfully weird ever since the fight at the apartment. He suddenly felt the need to comment on everything slightly negative that Jay or anyone else said towards you. That was one of the primal reasons for the group's continuous fighting. 
“Let’s get out of here” Heeseung turned to you after a moment of uncomfortable silence. 
You nodded reluctantly, still not finished with the stacks of papers you had to complete by tonight. But you could never deny Lee Heeseung. Not with the way his eyes glare at you intensely, and definitely not with the way his hand grips yours tightly, pulling you away from the table, not leaving a second for goodbyes. Not like you’d want to fakely smile at Park Jongseong with a wave; you fucking hated his guts. 
“You’re being weird today” you notice, his body facing away from you, pulling you towards an unknown destination. 
You still haven't fully addressed the lingering tension that stuck to you after what happened. But since Heeseung didn't bother mentioning it, you decided that it probably would be better to leave it at that. Sex, with all the ways it came in, was normal, and you were sooo normal about it too. 
“I’m not” 
Heeseung couldn't avoid the growing pain in his heart, recalling whatever the fuck he did back at his house, seemingly starting to realize that it probably wasn't something he needed to do, but something he wanted to do. 
For fucks sake, he never came out with the initiative to eat a girl out, and he most definitely never just left it at that, not even getting his dick wet in the process. 
The usually loud and bustling atmosphere of the student common space seemed to be gone, the bean bags and couches empty, no student in hindsight. 
“I just can't be around them anymore,” he added after a rather long moment, sitting down with a thud on one of the black couches. 
“Did you fight again?” you asked, placing yourself down next to him, your hands almost automatically finding their way to his own. 
“You could say that” he chuckled, recalling how Jake once again brought up your topic, which led to yet another heated discussion. 
“You should talk to them, this has been happening way too much recently” you ushered, and he shook his head with another small laugh. 
“They are most definitely not those kinds of people. Don't think I've had a serious conversation with them like ever”
Heeseung, Jake, Jay and Sunghoon have been friends for quite a long time now, especially Heeseung and Jay, and their lack of communication was astonishing. Every fight would be brushed off, they’d just pretend nothing happened and laugh it off. Every hard decision would have to be made individually because asking for advice was pointless. It wasn't easy with them and Heeseung knew that. 
“Either way, I’m happy you talk to me about it, maybe it can ease your mind just a little” you smiled, and he reciprocated, looking at you. 
“Yeah, it does help” he confirmed, and leaned back. 
Heeseung lived by night. As soon as the sun set it was as if his sins were disguised. So he hated the way his mind was slowly coming to the realization that the stupid plan he made was set for disaster the moment he sought out for you in the morning. 
“Do you want to come over after classes?” he asked, playing with the hem of your skirt, the seemingly innocent action making your heart flutter nervously. 
“I’m over there almost everyday” you laugh, and so does he, a snide smile on his lips. 
“You know your fate then” he says, his hand still inching closer, the public space that surrounded you having no effect on him. 
“Why are your parents never home?” you ask, and he finds it humorous in a way. Obviously owners of a multimillion company would never find time to spend back at home with their adult sons. 
The difference between you and Heeseung was that you knew your parents wouldn't be there to welcome you home everyday. You knew it was impossible. Heeseung could only suspect or assume, because his parents had given up on telling him when they’ll return from a business trip a long time ago. 
“They’re busy, I guess” he said, with a small sigh “Or at least they pretend to be, I wouldn't be shocked if the multiple business trips were just vacations” he laughed, his gaze falling onto you again. 
“At least you have your brother there” you smiled and he chuckled, he most definitely did not have a brother in reality. 
“Honestly, if he wasn't there it wouldn't make much of a difference” Heeseung sighed, and even though he’s gotten used to the relationship he shared with his brother, it still saddened him in a way. 
“It’s about the company, right?” you asked, and he nodded with a chuckle. 
“Smart girl” he cooed, ruffling your hair softly. You laughed, and shoved his hand off playfully. 
It wasn’t so hard to assume after all. What else could rich siblings be fighting over, who gets to sit in the passenger seat? Who gets to have the last slice of pizza? That's so fucking humorous. He was fighting with his brother over millions and a couple more millions, and didn’t even realize how materialistic and stupid that sounded to someone like you. 
Heeseung pulled your body closer to his, feeling an otherworldly connection course through his veins as you gave away your warmth to him. And how much tighter did you need to be pressed against each other before he finally admitted that he wasn't doing this for warmth. 
How many times did his thumb have to press against the edge of your mouth for him to realize he's gone too far?
“Did you hear that Sunghoon broke up with Wonyoung?” he asked, his body melting into yours with every passing second. 
You looked at him with wide eyes, but on another note, you would be lying if you said you didn't expect it. And it most definitely didn't shock you that Sunghoon was the one to initiate it. 
“Why?” you asked, even though it wasn't a hard deduction to make yourself.
“I think me and you both know why” he huffed, a hint of humor lacing his tone “Honestly good for him, that girl is insufferable” 
“Oh I know” you agreed, and he smiled “Go easy on him, still” 
“I'll try my best” he rolled his eyes playfully “We should definitely throw him a celebration party” Heeseung inquired and you chuckled. 
“Is that really something he’s celebrating, or just us?” you asked and he smiled. 
Sunghoon was so incredibly hard to read, and knowing if the breakup is impacting him negatively or positively was something nobody would ever know. 
“It’ll still help him get back up on his feet, if he even needs to” he replied, and you nodded smiling. 
You had no idea about the status between you and Heeseung. Things happened, and things were most definitely still happening, you both knew it, but nothing changed within the label itself. But then again, you took Heeseung as the type that didn't like labeling things. 
Of course you wanted to be his girlfriend. You wanted people to start knowing you by “Lee Heeseungs girlfriend”, not “Broke Transfer” or “Poor Scholar”. 
You relied heavily on Heeseung. He was like your life support in the walls of this school. He helped you make decisions and was there for you whenever you needed him. He felt just like flying too close to the sun, and it was addictive. You knew that very well. 
He truly was the only person you had. And well, you assumed that maybe calling Aeri isn't that good of an idea.
 Well, that’s what Heeseung agrees with anyway. 
__________ 
You were so out of it. 
You had told Eunseok that you’ll be staying the night at a new friend's house, but would he really care if he were to find out you’d actually be getting shit faced at a massive house party in a mansion you didn’t really know the owner of. 
Probably not. 
The music was so loud you could barely register the words Kim Sunoo spoke to you so enthusiastically. You had come here expecting to spend some time with Heeseung, but no matter how much you wanted to go look for him, the never ending white hallways that led to countless guest bedrooms frightened you. 
From your comfortable position on the couch, you could spot Sunghoon’s lonely figure at one of the tables. He was supposed to be the main attraction, the whole event centered around his new found freedom, but it seemed like everyone around him was having much more fun than him. 
You quickly waved off Sunoo, unsure of what he truly was going on about for the past 10 minutes, heading towards Sunghoon. 
“Are you okay?” You asked without having to shout in the boy's face, finding the corner he sat in much quieter. 
He looked startled, he didn't catch the moment where you came to him “I’m fine” Sunghoon replied swiftly, blinking a few times. 
You found it cute. 
“Why are you alone? Where is everyone” you asked him another question and for the first time you saw him smile so sweetly. 
He always had the same emotionless expression on his face, conversations with him felt like a punishment. Seeing him like this made your knees weak, a slight pain in your heart as you wondered what he was thinking about. 
“I hoped you’d tell me that” he said, his small smile never fading. 
You chuckled “I thought all this was supposed to be for you” 
He shook his head with a laugh “I never wanted any of this. They just used my situation as an excuse to get black out drunk, I guess” 
Even though it was sad, he never stopped smiling at you. His head rested on his knuckles, his eyes twinkling as his gaze was focused on you. 
“That’s rude” you inquired, and he laughed again, but this time it much more resembled a scoff. 
“Heeseung has done and is doing things much worse” he murmured, and even though the music was still very much blasting through the speakers, you heard him.  
You thought about it before questioning him again. Did you even want to know? Or are some things better left unspoken. 
“Like?” you finally said, and that’s when Sunghoon went quiet. 
With a thud he slammed his glass on the table, and stood up. He nodded his head towards one of the rooms at the end of the hallway signaling for you to follow him. He extended one of his hands towards you, and with the smallest bit of hesitation you took it, allowing him to lead you towards the space. 
Park Sunghoon looked so beautiful that night. His ivory skin glowed under the bright, colorful lights, his gaze was so piercing, and his lips just begged to be kissed. The pair of glasses hanging off his nose complemented his white fitted dress shirt, and his black pants showed off his perfectly long legs. You saw a different side of him and didn’t exactly like the way it made you feel. 
He closed the door behind you after assuring that the two of you would be alone. He didn’t know why he was doing this, why he was betraying one of his closest friends. 
But he thought about it all the time. He couldn’t get peace of mind. He couldn’t let his heart hurt for you, watching you fall for a fraudulent man that didn’t deserve someone as loyal and caring as you. 
“What is going on Sunghoon?” you asked, standing above him, as he placed himself on the leather couch with a sigh. 
“I know you like him, I know you believe everything he says and I know you won’t like what I’m about to say” he started explaining, and the suspense was killing you “But he’s not the guy you think he is. You’re not the first one, Y/n” 
“What the fuck do you mean I’m not the first one Sunghoon. First, what?” 
He was trying to stay calm, but you were already getting annoyed and he hasn’t even dropped the real bomb on you. 
Sunghoon thought about it for a second. Was using Pham Hanni a good example or should he reach deeper inside his mind to find another person Heeseung has used to fulfill his own perverted and psychotic desires. 
“I mean you’re not the first girl he has used this way” he uttered without looking at you, too scared to see your expression. 
Were you scared? Or were you mad? Hurt or in disbelief? 
You didn’t respond, letting the silence devour the two of you for a moment. 
“Please say something, Y/n” he whispered, grabbing your hand. 
His hands were cold, his fingers long and ivory. His touch was so smooth, and welcoming. He managed to pull you down next to him, yet you still couldn’t slip a word out of your mouth. He wondered if you’d ever reply or if you would just sit there, forever, next to him in silence. 
He’d like that. He’d like that more than he should. He was already betraying his friend, but his heart still wanted more. He wanted you to be more. 
“Why are you telling me about this, Sunghoon?” you finally said, and he looked at you, his gaze softening. 
“Because I like you” he said, his gaze falling to your intertwined hands “And I can’t stand looking at you getting lied to like this” he added after a short moment. 
It didn’t hit you when he said it. It felt like a moment that passed by quickly, it felt like it wasn’t anything significant. But looking at him, feeling the coldness radiate off of him, and feeling his scent made you realize he actually said it. 
“Don’t say that, Hoon” when the usage of his nickname slipped off your tongue, and he knew you didn’t mean it. 
He knew you felt it too, you just couldn’t say it, right? There was this invisible string tying you tightly to Heeseung’s grip, holding you back from giving into him. You wanted to. You’ve always wanted to, and so did he. From the moment he saw you, standing there with Wonyoung on your first day. 
Neither of you moved, caught in each other's closeness, both aware of it, both unsure. 
Sunghoon’s slender fingers grazed your jaw, softly pulling you to face him. His lips were slightly parted, and you could feel his breath, laced with alcohol and cigarettes. His gaze was heavy on yours and you could feel your heart racing in your throat- but you couldn’t pull away. 
He traced the curve of your jaw, his hand slipping down to your throat. His grip was firm, his lips grazing over the edge of yours. 
‘Tell me to stop” he whispered, smiling when he only heard a faint breath slip from your mouth. “Tell me and I will” he smiled against your cheek. 
“I want you so bad” he murmured, his voice low “You don’t even know” His nose was pressing against your cheek, his breath hot on your skin. You could feel him all over you. 
All at once, the restraint you had, faded away. His back fell to the soft padding of the couch, your legs straddling his lap, keeping him still and open for you. A slow smile tugged at the corner of his lips, eyes dark and hooded. 
His hands slipped down to your lower back, pulling you in closer, skin to skin. You felt dizzy, his mouth eating at your neck, his teeth grazing your skin. He grabbed your waist tightly, moving you back and forth on his growing bulge. 
His hands moved up to your jaw as you rode his clothed crotch without his assistance. 
You felt shivers down your spine, an uncontrollable force pushing you for more. You wanted him whole, completely forgetting about the boy that was somewhere in this house, laughing with his friends. 
But you didn’t want him to stop, finally closing the last breath of distance between you and Sunghoon, pressing your lips to his. 
The kiss was sloppy, he met you with even more eagerness, your hand moving down to his chest, feeling his carved muscles against your fingertips. His tongue pried your mouth for entrance, deeping the connection between you. He held you as if he had been waiting forever for this moment, holding your body firm against his own. 
You pulled away, your faces inches apart, your forehead resting against his. Your lips coated in his saliva, trying to catch your breath, he looked at you with so much passion and longing. 
The regret started to settle in, but you couldn’t move away, even when his fingers caressed your cheek, you leaned into it. 
“You should be with me,” he whispered, a hint of desperation coating his voice “We’d be so good together, I’d make you feel so good” he added, his hand slipping past the band of your small skirt. 
“Sunghoon” you breathed out, your face falling to the crook of his neck as he played with the material of your underwear. 
“You were made for me to love, let me please” he pleaded, his breath shaky. 
You could feel his soft touch caressing your skin, his erection firmly against your clothed heat, it all felt like a dream. If you looked at him, it would all become real again. 
“We shouldn't” you said, your words muffled by the silky material of his dress shirt. 
He heard you, he didn't want you to stop, he was so desperate to have you, he wanted to show you just how much better he was than Heeseung. 
“It’s not wrong when he doesn't know” he took your jaw into his fingers, forcing you to look at him. You looked so pretty and innocent, your lipstick slightly smeared around your lips. 
Sunghoon pressed his hungry lips against yours once again, and you complied with his movements. The kiss was messy, sloppy, and at that point, he lost any control that was left in his body. 
Dazed, he didn't even hear the door jerk open. Neither did you, focused on his lips that have moved down to your neck once again. 
“What the fuck is this?” a familiar male voice shouted angrily, causing you to pull out of Sunghoon’s touch, scared to look at the man standing in the doorway. You knew it was him. 
“Heeseung” Sunghoon murmured, his eyes wide as the realization started to settle in. He stood up from the couch, walking towards the boy who looked like a ticking time bomb. 
You sighed, hands in your hair, no words left to be spoken. You felt nothing, Sunghoon’s touch still lingering on your skin, and Heeseung’s words in the air. 
“Calm down, Heeseung” Sunghoon said softly, still unsure of the situation that surrounded him. 
Instead of that, he got hit with a punch to his face, harshly stumbling backwards, his back pressing against the glass table. He touched his cheek, the sensation causing him to flinch. He could feel the taste of blood in his mouth. 
“I’m sorry” he said, looking down, spitting into the glass cup that someone left on the table. 
Heeseung smiled seeing his friend's reddish saliva slide down the walls of the glass. 
You stayed quiet, hoping the same fate wasn't waiting for you. You wanted to disappear, already creating the monologue you’d spill out to Eunseok as soon as you came home. ‘Please, I need to go back to my old school’ you’d plead until he’d finally give in. 
“I’m sure you are, Hoonie” he chuckled, slapping his forearm, taking the cup from his hand “I’m sure you regret it, don’t you” he looked intently at his friend who was struggling to keep eye contact. 
Heeseung slammed the cup on the floor, the glass shattering across the wooden panels, causing both you and Sunghoon to flinch. 
Sunghoon nodded his head, trying to stand up straight, but failing miserably as Heeseung kicked his lower abdomen with his knee. 
“You think it’s okay to mess with your friends girl behind his back?” he asked, holding Sunghoon’s bleeding jaw in his fingers “Is it?” 
“No” Sunghoon spat out, looking at Heeseung with his watery eyes, the pain in his stomach unbearable. 
“Heeseung, please stop, just stop it” you pleaded, looking up at him from teary eyes, unable to watch anymore “I came onto him, it’s all my fault” you lied, trying to somehow fix what was already broken. 
“Is that true” his gaze shifted back and forth from you to Sunghoon, waiting for one of you to give him a straight answer. 
You nodded ferociously, while Sunghoon kept his gaze plastered on the floor. 
“Get out” he turned to his vunerable friend, his lips dripping in blood, his hand holding onto his stomach. 
The view didn't move him one bit. 
Sunghoon looked at him and then at you, stumbling on his way to the door, slamming it shut when he finally managed to exit. 
“You came onto him, yeah? Did you like it?” he chuckled, a devilish grin on his face as he looked at you, so fragile and afraid of him. 
“I’m sorry Hee, I wasn't thinking straight” you explained, mentally preparing for him to strike you at any given moment now. 
You should be the one asking for an apology, he should be the one saying sorry for using you. 
“Get up” he ordered, extending his hand to you. You looked at him sheepishly, his dark figure standing over you. 
You obeyed, taking his cold hand, frightened a little bit by his intimidating and unpredictable behavior. He led you to the bathroom that was placed just across from the couch you were making out with Sunghoon on, stopping in front of the sink. 
He looked at you through the mirror, his lips falling to your ear “Spit” 
“What?” you asked, your voice cracking. 
“You heard me the first time” he said sternly, his gaze never falling from your eyes. 
“W-why?” you mumbled, and his small smile dropped. 
His fingers squeezed your waist painfully, his other hand shoving your face down towards the sink “When I tell you to do something, you do it” he groaned, and with your eyes shut, you completed his order. 
“Wash your mouth” he ordered after a moment, his body pressing against your ass as he held your head in place “Wash all that’s left of him” 
You just listened to every word he said. He let go of your hair, letting you look at yourself again. Heeseung smiled, his hands wandering from your waist to the band of your skirt. 
“Did you like it when Sunghoon touched you here? Did you feel taken care of? Tell me, pretty girl” his hand slipped down lower, his fingers easily slipping past your panties, hovering over your core. 
“I asked you a question” he said more sternly, as you refused to reply to him, your brain fixated on the feeling of his fingers on you. 
“I liked it,” you replied truthfully, and he smiled. 
“You like when my friends take care of you, don’t you? You’d let Jay fuck you, you’d blow Jake if he asked, wouldn't you?” he asked, and you winced at his words, the sound mixing with the way his fingers played with you. 
“But you’d come back to me. You’d come back all swollen from their house to me. Cause you love me” he said, and you nodded, your hips riding his hand that was buried deep in your underwear. 
“Want me to fuck you now? Show you who you actually belong to?” he whispered in your ear sweetly, his fingers still teasing your entrance. 
“Yes” you managed to utter. Your heart was pounding so hard, a part of you craving Heeseung’s touch, while another one trembled with fear. 
He turned you around, you could finally face him. His eyes were dark, his anger mingling in the air. His lips were wet with desire. 
“Playing with my best friend, making me watch, you loved it, didn't you baby?” he laughed, his hand escaping your skirt, finding its way to your hips. He pressed himself against you, his hands wandering under your top. 
“You’ll get what you want, don’t worry” he smiled, his fingers caressing your lips “That pussy wouldn't give it to you anyway” he laughed, catching you in a sloppy kiss. 
“Get on your knees, baby” he said, his tone soft, a caring facade covering his internal rage. 
You nodded, softly, sliding down to your knees in front of him. The dimly lit space made him look so beautiful, his harsh words leaving with Sunghoon a while ago. 
“You can take it right?” he asked, unbuckling his belt, the material of his black dress pants brushing against your skin as he slid them down. 
You felt a mix of nervousness and anticipation as he teased you, palming himself through his boxers. You could see his pulsing erection, the way his face twisted as he continued stimulating himself. 
“You wanna see, huh? Dirty girl, you love every second of this” he laughed, his voice laced with innuendo. 
Finally, with one hand he slid down his underwear, freeing his thick, hard cock. It slapped against his sculpted torso, and he smiled seeing your face light up. 
“You like what you see, yeah? So fucking hard just for you” he asked with amusement, grabbing your jaw. 
You nodded, finally being able to see him whole, raw in front of you. 
He was now completely exposed before you, fully vulnerable and at your mercy.
“Good. Feel how hard I am for you. Touch me” he said, his eyes never leaving yours. 
You reached out tentatively, unsure of your actions, your cold fingers wrapping around his rigid shaft, coating its surface with his arousal as you slowly stroked him. He was hot and pulsing with his heartbeat. 
He groaned “Yeah, like that” his eyes closed with pleasure instinctively “Now put it in your pretty mouth” he ordered after a moment. 
You leaned forward, as he pulled your hair aside, twirling it in his palm. Your breath tickled his tip, his teeth gritting as he watched you open your mouth for him, and wrap your sweet lips around the head of his cock. 
He groaned, your warm mouth hugging him reluctantly. You could taste his bittersweet pre-cum on your toungue, the sensation of his hardness making shivers go down your spine. Your head began to move deeper down his length, finding it difficult to fit all of him inside you. 
“Fuck, s’good, suck me nice and slow just like that” he moaned, slightly pushing your head down his cock. He could see the tears forming in your eyes, and it made him twitch in your mouth. 
You did as he instructed, taking your time with him, finding the spots that made him react the most, teasing his sensitive underside. Hollowing your cheeks, going faster, Heeseung’s grip on you only tightening with every movement. 
You looked so helpless and lost, your mouth full of him. He fought to keep quiet, his other hand gripping the counter, his chest heaving unevenly. Your head bobbed up and down, sending jolts of pleasure through his body. 
“Fuck, keep going, I’m close” he whined, his lips parted as he guided you back and forth on his length. 
His cock twitched, your movements becoming sloppier as you awaited his climax. You could feel him deep down in your throat, the feeling accompanied by his intense breathing and hoarse moans. His hand gripped your hair tightly, he began to thrust gently, fucking your mouth with slow, deliberate strokes.  
“I’m gonna cum, fuck” his voice was strained, his heart racing in his chest “Gonna cum in your mouth, take my load baby” 
He groaned, his warm, thick cum spilling all over your tongue, Heeseung’s body shuddering as he emptied his load down your throat.  
“Swallow it,” he said, his breath shaky as he rode out his high. 
He pulled out after a moment, his cock glistening with your saliva and his juices. 
“You’re so perfect” he breathed out, still trying to steady himself “Get up, sweet girl” he instructed, and with an ache to your knees you managed to get up. 
His lips hurried to connect with yours, tasting himself on your tongue. Your lips were so soft and wet, your eyes watery. He wiped a salty tear that slipped from your eye. The look on your face took him back to the day he first met you, so pretty and untouched. 
“Let me make you feel good now” he whispered, guiding you to the bed, his pants and boxers left abandoned in the bathroom, as he got rid of his shirt while locking the door. 
He remembers just how much he fantasized about fucking you behind an unlocked door, hoping one of his sickly perverted friends walked in. But he no longer wanted to share you. 
He yearned for you, needed you just like the flesh that wanted to knit itself back together after a fresh wound. His desire was so primal, so intuitive. He was peeling his skin back, the layers slowly unfolding before your eyes. 
“Undress for me” he waited, his eyes tracing your every move, his body shivering as he watched you. 
If you were ready, he wanted to make you shiver like that too. 
You pulled down your black skirt, squeezing your thighs together as you were left only in your underwear. He came towards you, helping with your top half. He puts your hands up, the material gliding against your shaky skin. The fabric falls to the floor with a small thud, leaving you bare for him to adore. 
He stood back, admiring the beauty of the girl in front of him. He regretted every spoken word at that moment, every curse, every joke and everything that led up to this moment. 
Those words stained his mouth like a pomegranate, the lingering sensation still on his tongue as he took you in. 
Heeseung’s lips crashed down on yours, his shivering hands roaming down to your enclosed thighs, spreading you open enough for his fingers to slide through. He explored you with rough urgency, his mind blank as he focused on you and only you. 
He moved you down to sit on his lap, his hard on pressing against your ass. He trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck to your chest. Desperation sat heavily on his tongue. 
“You’re so pretty, all mine, all this is for me” he mumbled into your skin, his fingers digging at your hips. Your teeth grit, hands pulling his dark hair. 
Heeseung was so hungry for you. Hungry for your lips, your flesh, your bones that he wanted to intertwine with his. He was so drunk on love. 
His hand slipped down your body, his thumb circling small circles on your clothed heat. He felt the wetness seep through. 
He lifted you up, lying you down on the mattress swiftly. He situated himself in between your legs, his eyes scanning your body. You were such a pretty girl, so obedient and welcoming to him. You didn't protest, just did what he asked you to.
“Heeseung, please..” you whispered, and he could feel his heartbeat speed up “I want you inside me” he was amused by your eagerness, the way you were so direct with your words. 
“Sweet girl” he murmured, his fingers hooking the band of your pretty pink underwear “So fucking ready for me” 
He looked at you one last time, his fingers pulling at your panties, and with a nod to your head, he rolled the fabric down your legs, throwing it next to his abandoned shirt. 
“Already this wet?” he raised an eyebrow questioningly “I barely even touched you” a smirk adorned his lips.
He could come just by looking at you, your greed only fueling his own desire to fuck the shit out of you. But he'd hurt you, wouldn't he? 
Heeseung’s heart was racing just from the sight of you, his body reacting instantly to the view in front of him. His breath came out in ragged gasps, his pretty blue veins popping out from under his skin. 
He aligned himself with you, coating his length with your arousal. His throbbing cock glided in between your folds, your body trembling at the new feeling, as heavy breaths slipped from your mouth. His tip nudged against your entrance, your heart racing. You had never felt anyone this closely, and nothing made you more excited than it being Heeseung after all. 
“I won’t hurt you, yeah?” he laughed, his tone low “You think you can take it?” he teased, his tip slipping in and out, each time going just a little further. 
“Mhm” you nodded your head, looking at him with your mouth slightly parted. 
He leaned down to squeeze your cheeks “Yeah? And you won't cry?” you attempted to nod again, but his grip on you was firm. You just blinked eagerly, and he chuckled, shaking his head.
His tone was inciting, it could almost seem as if he was making fun of you. Yet no other man had ever made you feel so wanted, so good. No man has ever touched you like Heeseung did. 
He pressed you down underneath him, holding onto your lower back, his lips wandering all over your damp skin, His touch was rushed, he wanted this just as much as you. 
“Ready?” he asked, stroking himself, his gaze glued to you. You breathed out a short conformation, grabbing into his arm that flexed under your touch. 
Heeseung nodded, his eyes dark with desire and need. His hands were shaking, his body trembling with the effort of restraint. 
He grabbed onto your leg, and with a slow movement, buried himself deep inside you. You gasped, pleading for your body to adjust to the sudden invasion. Heeseung’s cock filled you completely, stretching you out in a way you’d never experienced before. He didn't move, waiting for the look of discomfort to wipe off your face. 
You had wanted this. You waited impatiently for Heeseung to take away the one sacred thing you owned- your virginity. You wanted him to be the man that gets to have you first, the love and thirst for him overpowering any rational thoughts. 
“Fucking tight” he breathed out, as his head fell back, a low, gutteral moan escaping his lips as he continued to move, his body conusmed by the sheer pleasure. 
It didn't take him a long time to bottom out, groans falling from his slightly parted lips. The pain of his thickness was almost exciting, your nails digging at his skin, eyelids becoming heavy. His cock buldged in your stomach, making him moan out loud with no sense of embarrassment. 
Your walls gripped onto his length “Feels s'good, shit” his thrusts were slow and delicate, not wanting to break your fragile frame “See this, so fucking deep inside you” he took your hand and pressed it down on your stomach so you could feel him. 
“Does it feel nice?” he kissed your neck, his face hugging the side of yours as he picked up his pace.
You turned to look at him “It d-does” you whispered. 
He rammed into you, his strokes becoming more frequent and sloppy. His face twisted with pleasure, a stream of euphonious sounds slipped from your lips, powering his own arousal. The music slightly entered the room through the shut door, the sound of skin slapping and heavy breaths overpowering it.
“That’s it, baby” his hands gripped your hips as you moved with him in sync, his body almost automatically responding to any of your movements. Your breathing became increasingly uneven and ragged “Just like that, just like that” 
“Fuck, Heeseung” you struggled for breath, his pace becoming infernal. 
His eyes ran down your body like never before, his face looking down at you intently, almost like a wolf looking down on its prey. His fingers continued to grab onto anything he managed, his mind going blank as the sound of your cries filled his ears. 
The sight and sensation drived you further into ecstasy, his warmth so strong on your skin. You couldn't help the pleasure, a small, salty tear escaping your glossy eyes. 
He leaned down, capturing your mouth in a desperate, rough kiss, his body shaking with need. He broke the kiss, his lips trailing down your neck, his breath coming out in ragged gasps. His thumb wiped down the tear from your cheek, his eyes hooded as he stared down at you, analyzing the state he had put you in. 
“You’re so perfect, so perfect for me” he whispered, his body on fire, every fiber of his being consumed by the overwhelming ecstasy of being inside you, of feeling you beneath him. 
Your moans become guttural, body shuddering with overwhelming pleasure at his words, at the thought of having him like this all the time. 
“I’m so in love with you, fuck” he breathed out, his heart pounding in his chest. 
He knew he was in too deep, knew that he couldn't stop this even if he wanted to, not when he felt like this, burried so fucking deep inside you. 
“I’m close” you managed to articulate, your voice strained. 
Heeseung nods, his body feeling like he’s on the edge, too. He speeds up his movements, his cock pounding into your tired core at an almost demonic pace. His own senses are overwhelmed by you, his mind and body consumed with desire and pleasure. 
He gasps, his mouth moving down to your chest “I’m close too. Just a little more, you can do it. Just a little more” his voice a low, raspy whisper. 
You grip his hand tightly, a low moan escaping your lips as Heeseung pushes himself closer to the edge. You were hanging on by a thread, desperate for release, desperate for him. 
“I can’t hold back” he groaned, his thighs shaking, control slipping him completely “I’m going to fill you up so deep with my cum, baby. Don’t move” 
Heeseung took your heart, his mouth stained red. He kisses you with that mouth, he’s all over you again. He can no longer control himself, each movement throwing him over the edge, his own bravery breaking as you look so much sweeter and smaller under him. 
With one last thrust, his body shuddered as he shot his load of cum inside your pulsating walls. His body collapsed on top of you, his eyes closed as he tried to catch his breath. He continued to move inside you, his fingers holding onto your body, helping you chase your own high. 
You close your eyes, releasing your own arousal on his length. Your body shivers and arches beneath him. He groans against your neck, gripping your hip tighter, his own body trembling with pleasure and exertion. 
He buries his face into your neck, his breathing slowly starting to even out after a few moments. He can feel your breathing start to even out under him as you came down from your own climax. He held you close, letting the waves of otherworldly pleasure wash over the both of you.
“You were so good” he whispers, his voice still laced with a hint of breathlessness “I love you, so much. I love you so much it hurts” 
He couldn’t help it. Those three words have never fallen from his lips, and this time he couldn't blame it on the slip of his tongue. Every bone in his body, his flesh, his tissue, the sinews that bound him together, it flowed in his veins- the uncontrollable desire to love you. 
His words struck you to the core. It felt so real, Sunghoon’s confession long gone as you couldn't help but reciprocate his words. With the way he cared for you, it couldn't be true. Heeseung wouldn't use you, he loved you, and you loved him. 
 You look down at him, and this time he looks much less scary. His eyes aren't so dark and hooded, his hair is messy, and his lips are puffed out.
It’s been so long since you first saw him, your mind completely swapping the first impression he made on you, to something much sweeter and beautiful. You remembered him so well, he was your precious, doe-eyed baby deer. He was never wrong, he was never the bad guy. 
The world turned on him, he was innocent. He didn't have a drinking problem, he wasn't smoking too much, he just gave into his teenage curiosity. 
He continues to lay on top of you, arms wrapping around you, his face buried into your neck. He takes a deep breath, inhaling your scent, savoring the feeling of you beneath him. 
“I’m sorry, baby” he whispers, his voice laced with a hint of shame and regret. “I’m so sorry” he repeats and you look at him, confused. 
“What? Is everything okay?” you ask, caressing his hair, twirling small pieces in your fingers “You're scaring me” 
He sighs, his heart breaking “Sunghoon was right. I told him to do it. I told him to tell you the truth” 
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taglist: @deobitifull @yunhoswrldddd @parksunghoonsgf @itgirlalisaa @alienqbrain @cyjhhyj @missycheif1404
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vantxx95 · 16 days ago
Text
you'll never find anyone like me — one. (l.dh)
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PAIRING: lee donghyuck x afab!reader GENRE: college au, fluff, mature WORD COUNT: 14.9k
SYNOPSIS: you’ll never find anyone like lee donghyuck, and that’s what makes him so exciting.
CHAPTERS WARNINGS: slow burn(ish) type, so much plot & way too much dialogue, alcohol consumption, explicit language, a lot of mentions of donghyuck being obsessed, heavy tension between reader and donghyuck, mentions of parties & drugs, donghyuck comes across as very straight forward and also flirty, pretty people make reader nervous lol (especially donghyuck), tension between two main characters but no smut yet.
AUTHORS NOTE:: its finally here!! i'm so excited to start this series with you all, thank you for your patience!! also, for anyone new, this is linked to my 'NEO TECH COLLEGE' jaemin series 'the way life goes' although this can be read as a standalone.
[SERIES MASTERLIST]
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It wasn’t exactly ideal enrolling into class halfway through the year, knowing you’ll have to go through that godawful stage of trying to make friends with people who already have chosen their own clique to spend the rest of their college years with.
You’re, unfortunately, the new student, the one that’ll be singled out during group projects or the one they pick last for the group because they didn’t want to choose you first… you really don’t know which one is worse.
Looking for a place to settle down was a close second to being one of the worst things to do after enrolling late. You didn’t have enough money to live by yourself and you sure as hell didn’t want to live with someone you hardly even knew, but you had to pick one, so you went with the latter.
Areum was actually the sweetest (and coolest) person you have ever met. 
She welcomed you into her two bedroom apartment with open arms and even helped get you settled into your new room by offering to unpack your boxes and decorate the way you preferred, allowing you to have all the creative freedom you needed to call this place your home too.
Areum had even taken time out of her own busy schedule to show you around, letting you know about all the best food joints, best places to go to get coffee, best album stores to get your preferred music and even the best hangout spots. 
It was, undoubtedly, a lot to take in. 
Areum even introduced you to Minjun, a childhood friend of hers who is a college dropout and now the drummer in a two-man band with his older brother. (They’re pretty good, even though the older brother scares the shit out of you). 
Minjun was the complete opposite of Areum yet they were alike in so many ways, it was easy to make friends with him just as it was with Areum. Minjun was sceptical of you at first though, but he immediately warmed up to you when you complimented his drum set to which he then showed you how to play. (You had no idea, but it was fun).
You cherish the friendships you have made with the two deeply even though you felt like you were intruding at the beginning, especially when you realised how long they have actually known each other and how close they are. But the pair happily invited you into their small friendship with big grins and playful jokes.
You were grateful to be starting something new with people who you felt instantly comfortable with, you were excited to see what your time in college had in store for you. 
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“Shit!” You repeatedly curse under your breath as you hurry across campus grounds with your bag strap sliding down your shoulders and your phone held tightly in your grip, staring down at the time that shined angrily at you due to your lateness.
Being late on your very first day wasn’t exactly something you wanted to experience, but the pressure of getting everything ready and the stress of overthinking lead you to being exhausted and oversleeping—you wanted the ground to swallow you up when you received the mass texts from Areum asking if you made it to your class in time. 
You fix the strap on your shoulder as you rush into the building, eyeing the signs on the walls that would easily lead you to your music class and you groan when you realise it’s at the far end of the building, breaking out into another sprint and you’re grateful there’s no one around to see you make a complete fool of yourself as you run.
Glancing down at your phone, you wince at the time and you look back up to make sure you’re going to right way but you curse under your breath when you realise you’re heading straight towards someone’s back and you don’t even have time to stop yourself or control your speed, already bumping into them at full force which causes them to stumble forwards from the impact.
The person they’re with steadies them and you manage to get a quick glimpse at the girl who’s looking at you in shock before the victim spins around, his eyes angry and ready to curse you out but you don’t even notice how his eyes soften when he looks at you as you’re already profusely apologising to him.
“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going and I—fuck—I didn’t mean to fall into you like that, I’m just late and—”
“It’s fine.” The girl cuts off your rambling, sending you a reassuring smile as the guy continues to stare at you and you nod, mumbling another quick apology as you turn your head and see the door to your assigned class, quickly slipping through the door and letting it close shut behind you, heart racing rapidly in your chest at the full class of students who briefly glance at you before returning to their work.
The Professor looks up from his computer when you enter the room, gazing at you over the rim of his glasses and he gives you a welcoming smile, beckoning you over with his hand and you head straight towards him, getting ready to apologise for being so late but he’s already opening his mouth to speak first.
“I’m surprised you’re starting halfway through the year, but I’m happy to have you in this class. Welcome,” He smiles warmly at you and it instantly makes you feel better, your shoulders relaxing with a breath of relief as you smile back at him thankfully. “I’m Professor Kim Hongjoong. I’ll be your music Professor during your time here and if you need any help with anything, I’d be happy to give you some guidance… although, I have to encourage my students to ask one another. Team bonding type of stuff.”
“Noted.” You laugh lightly with a nod, adjusting the bag strap on your shoulder.
“Great.” Professor Kim grins up at you. 
He dismisses you to a seat at the far back of the class next to a boy whose face is shoved into his computer screen, chunky headphones resting on his head as his fingers dance across a piano keyboard, nodding to the notes that play smoothly in his ears and you pull out the seat to sit beside him, sliding your bag off your shoulder and letting it rest by the legs of the chair.
Capturing your seatmate's attention, he turns to look at you and gives you a warm and welcoming smile, pulling the headphones from his head to rest around his neck. He introduces himself as Xiaojun and he takes the opportunity to point out everyone in the room to let you know their names, and even though it didn’t exactly help and you sure as hell wouldn’t remember everyone's names, you were grateful at least.
“How come you enrolled in the middle of the year?” Xiaojun suddenly asks you and you give him a sheepish grin in response. He raises a questioning brow, “Wasn’t going to enrol or something?”
“Something like that.” 
“Interesting.” Xiaojun hums and he turns his head back to his computer screen while your attention is brought towards the classroom door that swings open, and embarrassment immediately washes over you when you recognise the guy that steps inside, the one you had forcefully slammed into on your way here.
You sink down into your seat in hopes to avoid him to keep your own dignity and your brows pull together in confusion when you see his eyes glance around the room, tilting his head to the side in thought and tongue prodding at his cheek as he scans over the row of seats before he finds you.
His lips curl into a smirk and his eyebrows raise in a way that has your heart thumping rapidly in your chest, immediately drawing your attention away from him when he drops down into a seat beside Yangyang, (a guy that Xiaojun had pointed out to you when filling you in on everyone’s names), who is too busy scrolling through his phone to notice his presence. 
“Donghyuck.”
“What?” You hum, glancing at Xiaojun when you hear him mutter.
“That’s Donghyuck, the one that just came back in/” Xiaojun tells you and you made a small noise of acknowledgment, taking another peek over at him only to avert your eyes away when you realise he’s already looking at you and you feel hot, a little embarrassed and awkward at being caught.
“Has he got a staring problem or something?” You catch yourself mumbling under your breath and your eyes widen when you hear Xiaojun snort, completely capturing what you had just said and you groan, leaning back into your chair with a frown as Xiaojun looks at you with an amused smile.
“Something like that.”
The class surprisingly goes by quicker than you thought and both Professor Kim and Xiaojun were kind enough to fill you in on what you’ve missed so far, and what’s coming up soon. Luckily, as you enrolled in so late, you were excused from the upcoming assignment but were given a side task to write down everything you had knowledge of, including the instruments that you’re skilled in playing.
You found it quite simple and you’re positive you can jot down everything tonight so you wouldn’t have to worry about it later on. You’ve always been eager to please, so there was no way in hell you were going to leave this until the last minute.
You rise from your seat and grab your bag, slipping the strap over your shoulder as you subconsciously peer over at the other end of the room, your heart thumping wildly in your ears when you catch Donghyuck’s eyes already looking back at you while talking to Yangyang, leaning back on the desk with his hands shoved deep into his pockets and leather jacket draped over his arm.
His deep and intense gaze makes you feel nervous and you find yourself fidgeting in your spot, unable to tear your own eyes away from him, locked under his stare and the smirk that he gives you sends goosebumps rippling down your spine.
It’s when he pushes himself off the desk that brings you out of your trance, panic flooding through you when it seems like he’s about to advance towards you but he stays in his place when a hand carefully touches your arm, causing you to quickly turn towards the person that wanted your attention.
Xiaojun’s smiling warmly at you, but you’re surprised when you see that he’s not alone and instead, there are two other guys standing with him.
One wears a green hoodie beneath a grey jacket and matching coloured jeans, a beanie on his head with blue strands of hair peeking from beneath. The round, thin framed glasses on the bridge of his nose makes him look cute, yet the boyish grin he gives you makes you feel a little flustered and you move your attention to the other boy beside him.
He’s a lot more quiet and awkward, opting to give you a tight lipped smile as a greeting and nodding his head to say he’s acknowledged you. You’re not surprised by his shy demeanour𑁋especially with how he’s refusing to make eye contact and how his fingers nervously fiddle with the bracelet dangling on his wrist. 
“This is Mark,” Xiaojun points to the one in the hoodie. “And this is Jihoon,” He points to the other before he turns to you and gives you a smile, “These guys are who I spent the majority of my time with, unfortunately”
“You love us, dude,” Mark’s boyish grin returns as he pats Xiaojun’s shoulder who playfully rolls his eyes and Mark looks at you. “You’re welcome to join us for lunch if you want?”
“Oh, thank you,” You smile appreciatively but it slowly drops when you realise what you had planned already. “Can I join you some other time? I have somewhere to be today.”
“Of course you can.” Mark’s grin widens as his hand removes off Xiaojun’s shoulder to gently knock yours and you grow nervous under the small contact, a shy smile spreading across your lips as you bid them a silent goodbye, brushing past the trio to get to the door and your mouth goes dry, your nerves amping up to a hundred as you once again meet Donghyuck’s eyes from his position next to Yangyang, how he watches you with a hint of intrigue and interest swimming in his irises. 
You miss the way his eyes snap towards your new friends with a locked jaw, tongue prodding at his cheek as you leave the room.
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Watching Areum work has always been fascinating to you: in awe of the talent that pours out of her hands and the patience she has when it comes to sculpting certain objects and/or people for projects or just to pass the time, how every piece is precise and perfect𑁋a complete masterpiece.
It’s the look of determination and joy that seals the deal for you, how happy and content she seems to be whenever she’s in her zone, and having the opportunity to witness her working in the studio at college for the first time is definitely the highlight of your already long and interesting day.
You bite into your lunch as you watch her from behind get her hands dirty while sculpting her recent project, soothing out the curves of a woman’s body that she has been putting together while humming a tune that plays quietly from the radio on the windowsill beside her.
Areum takes a step back to admire her work, a sound of approval slipping past her lips before she decides to take a break, unzipping her black overalls halfway to take her arms out of the sleeves and tying them around her waist securely so the rest doesn’t fall down completely, allowing her tattooed arms to be freed and on show with her white shirt. 
“Did you make it to your class in time this morning?” Areum asks you as she leans against the open window, pulling her strawberry vape out of her pocket to take a drag and you shake your head, causing her to chuckle lowly. “I thought Minjun put an alarm on your phone before he left last night?”
“I slept through it,” You say bitterly, taking another bite of your lunch as she clicks her tongue against her teeth. “Thinking about today got me stressed and I overslept. Ended up almost being an hour late and not only that, I practically body slammed someone because I rushed to get to class. It was embarrassing.”
“Ouch,” Areum teases while scrunching her nose up, taking another hit out of her vape and blowing the smoke out of the window. You roll your eyes, twisting the cap on your bottle of water to take a sip. “Made any friends in your class though?”
You side eye her, “You sound like my mother,” She smirks at you. “Got to know this guy called Xiaojun. He introduced me to his friends Mark and Jihoon just before class ended. I only know those three so far.”
“Good,” Areum hums with an approving nod. “I know Mark and Xiaojun, I’ve bumped into them a few times… don’t know Jihoon though.”
“He’s kinda quiet,” You admit, remembering your very brief encounter with him. You smile, “He didn’t say anything but he seemed welcoming at least. They offered me to join them for lunch but I said I already had plans today.”
“You ditched them to hang out with me?” Areum looks at you with a blank expression and you nod, giving her an innocent grin as you finish off the last bite. “I don’t know whether to thank you or call you stupid.”
You swallow thickly, “I know you better than them so being with you right now is the safest and comforting option to me. I’d like to get to know them more eventually and hang out with them… but it’s kind of hard to do that when I get shy and awkward around people I don’t know.”
“You did well with me and Minjun,” She praises you and you feel your cheeks grow hot at that, trying to fight the smile that threatens to slip onto your lips. “But don’t worry, you got this. Take your time, there’s no rush.”
“I’m not going to rush,” You tell her, resting your chin on your hand as you look over at her, your other hand tapping a mindless tune on the wooden table. “I’m taking everything slowly.” 
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It took you just over a month to get comfortable in your new college. 
You managed to remember everyone's names in your course and despite not talking to some of them, they had become easier to remember overtime. 
Xiaojun, Mark and Jihoon never left your side during classes and just like Areum and Minjun, they also welcomed you into their group with open arms and jokes that had you laughing until your stomach cramped up and tears pooled in your eyes. 
Jihoon became a lot more open with you as you did him. He was just like you—shy and awkward around people he barely knew or wasn’t comfortable with yet, didn’t want to speak up or take control of the conversation in fear of saying something silly, but when getting comfortable with the people it was non stop talking and cracking jokes, even pitching a few sarcastic comments here and there to make others smile.
Xiaojun and Mark were similar—outgoing and confident, striking up conversations and making friends as if it was the easiest thing to do, making others feel invited and welcomed although there was a few moments where you see their shy tendencies come through the cracks, noticing how shy Xiaojun got when being compliment on his voice when singing a song to himself under his breath and when Mark gets shy when he receives unwanted attention from others that compliment his work or his looks. 
Aisha, a girl in your class, was one of the people that would compliment Mark over and over again, making him flustered and cheeks grow red with each word and giggle that slips from her lips. She’s gorgeous, so it doesn’t surprise you that Mark gets shy easily when she comes near.
Aisha is one of the people you haven’t properly spoken to yet. Her sociable and popular presence leaves you a little intimidated. You’ve shared a few friendly smiles and some small words in passing, but you haven’t had the courage to speak to her fully. 
You, admittedly, like to admire her from afar. Seeing how confident and friendly she is, how she teasingly flirts and prettily smiles at others who conversate with her, how her delicate hands play with her healthy hair that cascades down her back, how her siren-like voices lures people in when she’s talking or even singing.
It makes you jealous, but not in a bad way. You could only wish you had the same confidence and likeness. 
Donghyuck is another person you haven’t spoken to yet. You feel nervous being in his presence, how his intense gaze leaves you speechless and unable to think properly. How his lingering touches on your skin leaves goosebumps running down your spine every time he brushes past you to either get to his seat or if he was just walking by in the hallways. 
He glances over his shoulder each time, lips curling into a grin, dark eyes piercing through you as he meets your eyes and takes in your appearance, tongue sweeping across his bottom lip before it tucks between his teeth as he takes in your outfit of the day. 
Even if you’re wearing something that completely covers you, he makes you feel bare. 
Xiaojun is the one that tells you to stray far away from Donghyuck, that he’s nothing but a ‘slut who loves attention and flirts with any living thing’. Mark did however clap back and told Xiaojun that he himself loves the attention too, which caused Xiaojun to jut out his bottom lip in a pout and turn away, but Mark mentioned how Donghyuck can be a little crazy sometimes and to try and not let his continuous stares and actions get under your skin. 
You agreed, saying that wouldn’t be the case, even though you’re lying through your teeth already.
He is getting under your skin, leaving his mark on you and truthfully, it’s interesting. 
You will never admit that out loud. 
“Why are you being so quiet?” You hear somebody ask you suddenly and you rip yourself out of your thoughts, blinking at you try to see where the source of the sound came from but you let out a huff as a weight is knocked against your shoulder, hissing as you turn your head to see Minjun who had dropped down to the sofa to sit beside you.
He’s grinning at you in greeting but mumbles a quick apology when he realises he’s hurt you, rubbing the sore area before pulling his hand back to pull his phone out of his pockets.
You stay silent for a moment, staring at him as he mindlessly drums his fingers against the side of his phone as he reads a text and you immediately recognise it as the new song that he and his brother have been working on, the corner of your lips stretching into a smile.
However, his drumming comes to a sudden stop when Byeol pounces up on the arm of the sofa on his left, staring at Minjun with his tail slowly swishing behind him before he steps down onto Minjun’s thighs to find the perfect spot to rest and Minjun clicks his tongue against his teeth in annoyance. 
“I hate this cat.” He grumbles under his breath despite raising his hand to pet Byeol behind his ears, loud purring noises rumbling from his chest. Minjun glances at you, “You didn’t answer my question.”
“What question?” You mutter as you reach over to pet Byeol too.
“About why you’re being so quiet.”
“There’s no reason,” You tell him truthfully, smiling as Byeol nuzzles his head into your palm. “I was enjoying the silence and just thinking about some things.”
“What things?”
Your eyes snap to him, teasing in your tone, “None of your business.”
“Ouch. You wound me,” He speaks monotone, pulling his hand away from Byeol to adjust the beanie on top of his head. “I have a show this weekend at Cherry Bomb, you’re coming right?”
“Obviously,” You hum. “Me and Areum never miss your shows.”
“Lucky charms,” Minjun grins, raising his hand with his pinky outstretched and you snort, wrapping your own pinky around his and squeezing tightly. “EJ and his girlfriend are coming too so we’re going to grab a few beers with them after it, yeah?”
“Sounds good to me,” You nod, retracting your hand from his to pet the cat who’s now climbing into your own lap, rubbing his face in the cotton of your shirt. You purse your lips in thought, “Can I invite people?”
Minjun raises his brow in interest, “Who?”
“Just these guys I’ve made friends with—they’re on my music course,” You briefly explain but you feel the need to go further as Minjun continues to stare at you. “They saw my Instagram post at your show a few weekends back and they asked about you, and they said they’d be interested in seeing you play and—”
“They can come,” He cuts off your rambling, grinning up at you and your brows pull together when he nudges your shoulder. “You don’t have to ask, you know. The more the merrier, right? Besides, Seungwoo will be happy to see some new faces listening to our music.”
“Is he giving you a hard time?”
“Just the usual,” Minjun shrugs. “Worried about the number of people showing up to watch, the amount of unfinished songs he’s written, stuff with our parents too… they’re not exactly supportive of me dropping out of college and him leaving work to pursue music. They say it’s a waste of time.”
“But you’re good at what you do,” You tell him truthfully with a kind smile. “Both of you. You’re booking out bars and performing in front of big crowds almost every weekend, I say that’s pretty impressive.”
The corner of Minjun's lips lift upwards, his head tilting to the side slightly as he looks at you, “You think so?”
You nudge his shoulder, “I know so.”
Minjun breaks out into a full smile this time and he nudges you back as a small gesture of a thank you before he shifts in his seat, getting comfortable leaning against the cushions as he resumes scrolling through his phone.
You relax into him, peering your head over his shoulder to watch the screen as he shows you his current Instagram home page filled with musicians, concert photos and the occasional selfie of those he follows. You hardly recognise any of them, apart from the few Areum had posted and EJ with his girlfriend, but you still wiggle your eyebrows suggestively and make flirty comments when you see the sexy mirror pictures posted by some. 
Minjun just rolls his eyes and tells you to be quiet, huffing as he angles himself away from you.
“Oh, I didn’t realise you were here,” You hear Areum’s teasing voice from behind and you crane your neck to see her make her way over to the both of you, a fluffy white towel wrapped tight around her body and another wrapped around her hair from her previous shower. 
She sits in the single loveseat opposite, crossing her legs beneath herself to get comfy and a smile slips upon her lips as Byeol meows loudly, jumping down from your own lap and to find comfort on hers, nuzzling himself in her towel and Areum holds him to her chest, stroking his fur and cooing softly.
“I’m always here.” Minjun gives her a grin.
“Unfortunately~” Areum hums, pressing gentle kisses on the top of Byeol’s head and Minjun rolls his eyes, clicking his tongue against his teeth as he shakes his head.
Areum grins, already feeling proud at already getting under her best friend's skin but you knew deep down that it was just a little joke, knowing first hand how they always bite at each other to try and get one of them to react and lose, adding another point to their mental tally chart.
She coos as she talks to Byeol, scratching below his chin and rubbing behind his ears as you smile at the sight, hearing his loud purrs resonate from where he’s sitting on her lap and Areum’s phone that’s been gripped in her hand vibrates loudly, causing her to pull away from Byeol for a moment to check her screen.
You watch as her brows raise slightly, a smirk spreading across her cheeks and her bottom lip gets caught between her teeth, thumbs quickly tapping against the phone before she raises her head up, looking over at you with an unfamiliar glint in her eye. 
Your face scrunches up, confused. “Why are you looking at me?”
Areum cocks her head to the side, “How do you feel about experiencing your first college party tonight?”
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The sight in front of you is definitely… something.
The house is a lot bigger than you anticipated, expecting to be brought along to a little apartment or even a club for your first official college party, but Areum had thrown you into a complete loop as she brought you to a not so little apartment or club that was already filled with drunk college students, some already even sprawled across the front lawn messily making out or even staring up at the sky giggling to themselves. 
However, you grimace a little when you see someone come stumbling out of the house with their hand clamped over the mouth, barely making it towards a bush before emptying out their stomachs with the most gruesome of sounds. 
A guy comes jogging out of the house shortly after with a water bottle in hand and his phone in the other, your mouth starts to feel a little dry, the attractiveness and confidence that oozes from him as he comes closer stuns you for a moment, the shyness taking over you when he grunts and squats down to tend to the drunken person with their head shoved into the bushes.
The tight black fitted shirt he wears shows off the muscles beneath, how they bulge and tense when he reaches out to caress the person’s back as they retch loudly and your eyes can’t help but shift to his thighs, how the pants are tightening around them which each movement and you gulp, pulling your attention away when you feel Areum slip her arm through yours.
“Seems like you got your hands full already.” Areum speaks first with a teasing tone that’s directed towards the guy and he raises his head, dark eyes glistening under the night sky as he grins at her.
“You got that right,” He chuckles softly, putting the water bottle down on the grass to run his fingers through his dark mullet, gazing at you. “You’re new. I’ve never seen you here before. I’m Jeno.”
You introduce yourself and he repeats your name back to you with a hum and a nod, then he smiles and wishes you a good time at the party before turning back to the person who had seemingly stopped throwing up, ordering them to drink the bottled water and saying how he’s going to call a cab for them to get home safely. 
Minjun, who had been quiet this entire time watching every thing unfold, gently pushes your shoulder to get you to walk and Areum pulls you towards the house by your arm, the loud music blasting inside already hitting your eardrums and you’re instantly hit with the smell of alcohol and weed when you enter. 
The inside is a lot more chaotic than the outside, you conclude. 
Sweaty bodies pressed against each other as they dance or makeout, some even fondling each other to which you immediately avert your attention away when they glance your way. Others are in small groups talking and even playing drinking games, you can just about see a group playing cup pong from where you’re standing at the entrance. 
Minjun leans down to murmur in your ear, “So, what do you think so far?” 
“It’s…” You pause, pulling a face. “Something. Very crowded. There’s people everywhere.”
Minjun’s chest rumbles with a laugh, “And this isn’t even the half of it.”
Your eyes widen at the possible fact of there being more people in the house, already feeling overwhelmed and Areum’s hand slides down your arm to take your own, lacing her fingers through yours as she helps weave you through the crowds, Minjun hot on your tail as he follows behind. 
You glance around while she leads you both to wherever she wants to go and you spot a couple lounging together on the sofa, the pretty blonde smiling at her boyfriend who’s gently tucking her hair behind her ears as he’s mumbling something to her and she nods, causing the boyfriend to grin and clink his drink against hers.
“Here,” Areum’s voice grabs your attention and your turn your head to look at her when you feel her hand slip from yours, noticing that she’s brought you to the kitchen where only a few partygoers are standing, nursing their drinks and chatting with friends. Areum opens the cooler and passes a beer over to Minjun who dips his head in silent thank you before turning to you, “Want a beer? A seltzer?”
“Beer.” You’re thankful she hands you one that you’re familiar with, the ones that the three of you have shared in your apartment during movie and game nights, immediately cracking it open to take a sip and the satisfying burn and flavour that that runs down your throat has you smiling.
It unfortunately doesn’t take long for you to start to feel out of place, your back pressed against a wall in the far corner of the kitchen as you watch Minjun smoke with a guy you overheard is called Sunwoo, a dopey grin smile spreading across his cheeks every time someone had waltzed up to him with money in their hand for one of his baggies that he takes out of his pocket to slip into theirs. 
Areum had politely excused herself from you a few moments prior to greet someone you somewhat recognise as one of her previous hookups, watching as Areum’s hand slips around her waist to hold her close to her body and the girl lets out flirtatious giggles, winding her own arms around Areum’s shoulders as they whisper in each others ears.
You sigh, pursing your lips as you take a glance down at the beer in your hand, shaking the can slightly to feel how much drink was left for you to drink and you frown when you notice it’s empty. You push yourself off of the wall and discard your empty beer in the overflowing trash can, opting to open the cooler and grab another to keep yourself preoccupied but you’re startled when another hand reaches in too, brushing against your own.
“Oh, sorry—” The voice pauses mid sentence and you glance up, your eyes widening in surprise when you see Xiaojun staring back at you with a similar expression. “It’s you!”
“What are you doing here?” You ask with a smile, excitement flowing through your veins as Xiaojun gives you a welcoming side hug, rubbing your back comfortingly. 
“I could ask you the same thing.” Xiaojun pulls back to adjust the backwards cap on his head, not before running his fingers through his hair. You take this moment to take in his appearance, surprised to see him out of his knitted sweaters and chinos which is replaced with a loose fitted grey tank top and dark jeans, showing off his physique which caught you off guard immensely, not expecting to see the muscles.
“My roommate told me to tag along,” You briefly explain to him, pulling your eyes away from his arms and he hums in understanding, handing you a beer before grabbing one for himself. “Are Mark and Jihoon here too?”
“Jihoon’s at home. This isn’t his, uh—” Xiaojun waves his hand around comically. “—type of scene, you know. Mark’s around here somewhere though, lost him when this girl tugged his arm wanting to speak to him in private.”
You make a small noise as you nod your head, assuming that it was another student proclaiming their attraction towards Mark as you have witnessed many times before, feeling bad every time Mark had rejected them even if he was sweet with his words. 
The confidence that people had to confess their feelings to the person they liked always made you jealous, wishing you had the courage to admit your own likeness towards someone but you could never get it out, knowing that the words would constantly get stuck on the tip of your tongue and the fear of rejection wasn’t exactly something you wanted to experience.
So you always held back on telling people how you felt, especially if you liked them. But yet again, seemingly lucky for you, there has never really been anyone that you’ve truly liked. You’ve had small mindless crushes that you knew would lead into nothing and you’ve been in the presence of a few attractive people that definitely make your heart flutter, but it’s never enough to make you want to confess. 
A gentle touch on your arm brings you out of your thoughts and you turn your head to see Minjun standing beside, a gesture to show that he was finally back with you and you couldn’t have been more happier to have more people at your side, giving him a smile to which he returns, the corner of his lips twitching upwards.
“Oh. You’re the guy.” Xiaojun speaks up, eyebrows raised to his hairline in shock as he points at Minjun who looks back at him, seemingly confused but he slowly nods anyways which makes you snort quietly, finding the sight comical. “The drummer from that band, the one on her Instagram—LŒV, right?”
“Yeah,” Minjun hums in surprise before he makes a noise of realisation, piecing two and two together. “You must be one of the guys she told me about, that wanted to come see us play this weekend.”
You zone out of their conversation when Xiaojun praises him for his musical skills, the pair diving deep into the music discussion which usually you would’ve participated in any of time, but you find yourself getting distracted as you watch Areum delicately stroke the back of another girl that she’s talking with, pulling her in closely to whisper in her ear and laughing when the girl pushes her shoulder playfully before tugging her back in. 
Your attention however pulls away from the pair when Areum places two fingers beneath her chin to bring her in for a kiss, feeling awkward to give them an audience and finding interest in a potted plant in the corner of the room, your lips quirking up into an amused smile when you see a drunk cradling it like a newborn, stroking the leaves and cooing.
The sight in front of you is hilarious and you would’ve taken out your phone to take a picture it if wasn’t for the fact you didn’t know this person, not really wanting to be caught and questioned taking pictures of someone you barely knew even if it would make a great memory… and definitely a great birthday card. 
But your eyes flit away from the drunk to the guy that you met outside. Jeno, you remember his name. He strides into the house with a dark wet patch over the front of his clothes and an empty water bottle. 
First, you grimace at the thought of that person he was taking care of outside throwing the water over him in a drunken fit, but then you feel a little warm and flustered when you realise that the water had made his shirt and pants stick to him more than it originally did, outlining his body perfectly, defining the muscles beneath the materials. 
“Why are you ogling Jeno?”
“I’m not,” You immediately defend yourself, attention snapping back to Xiaojun who's already staring back at you with an amused smirk, raising his eyebrow. “I’m not.”
“Pretty sure you are,” Minjun joins in this time and you harden your gaze at him, causing him to grin. “You like him?”
“No.”
“He’s attractive, for sure,” Xiaojun hums, taking a glance at him over your shoulder and watching him as he disappears up the staircase, probably to change out of his wet clothes. “I wouldn’t get too close to him though,”
Now that piques your interest, “Why?”
Xiaojun opens his mouth, ready to tell you what you’re surprisingly desperate to hear until he closes his mouth, brows rising in shock when you feel someone's arms slip around your shoulders to bring your back into their chest.
You immediately recognise it as Areum, the sweet citrus smell of her perfume overwhelming your senses and you turn your head to the side to see her already smiling at you, giving you a comforting squeeze before letting you go to stand beside you to greet Xiaojun.
Xiaojun seems hypnotised by her beauty just like many others are and it doesn’t surprise you, the beauty and the confidence that radiates off of her is enough to have your own heart thumping in your chest and feeling shy whenever she meets your eyes or gives you a pretty smile.
“I’m Areum,” She introduces herself as she reopens the cooler to fetch herself another beer. “Her roomie.”
Xiaojun whispers back in a daze, “Hi roomie.”
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The look on Xiaojun’s face was comical when it slipped into conversation that Areum wasn’t interested in men, his eyes widening and mouth dropping open in shock as he profusely apologised, worried that his dazed look and minor flirtatious comments made her uncomfortable but she shook her head, laughing as she explained everything was fine and that he had no way of knowing her preferences. 
Still, the trio got along quite well and even Mark, who joined in a few minutes prior after complaining about how he was locked in the bathroom for five minutes, got along with Areum and Minjun too. It made you smile, seeing the people you liked getting along with each other and exchanging socials and numbers, it also made you miss Jihoon a little bit, wishing he was here so you could introduce them to your duo of friends. 
However, you did make a mental list to remind yourself to text Jihoon tomorrow morning and tell him you’d add him to the groupchat that Xiaojun was desperate to make.
It doesn’t take long for you all to split from each other too: Areum grabbing your hand to steal you away for a little while and you were surprised that Minjun didn’t follow behind like he usually does, but you were happy to see him so comfortable enough to stick around with Mark and Xiaojun who were happily discussing music techniques and even other bands they both seemed to enjoy.
Areum brought you to the living room this time where the music blasted from the stereo, making it a lot harder to hear what she was saying to you but you managed, opting to lean in close so she could whisper in your ear and you did the same. 
You’re feeling awkward and uncomfortable now though, nursing the third beer in your hand as everyone around you either dances or heavily makes out with the person they’ve come with or even just met, finding it hard to focus your attention on anything as in every corner you look, you see people wrapped up in each other.
A gentle touch is placed on your arm, “Are you okay?”
“Hm?” You hum, looking at Areum who is staring back at you worryingly. “Why?”
“You’ve gone quiet,” She points out and a frown makes its way onto your lips, “Want to go home?”
“What? No. It’s fine,” You quickly shake your head. “I don’t want to ruin your night.”
“You’re not ruining anything,” Areum chuckles softly and when her gaze flicks over your shoulder, you see the surprised look on her face. “Seems like you’ve got an admirer tonight.”
Her words have you making a noise of confusion and she nods in the direction of your so-called ‘admirer’ and you’re embarrassingly quick to whip your head around, not making your movements subtle at all which she snorts at in amusement. 
Your heart thumps loudly in your ears as you spot Donghyuck manspreading on the sofa a few feet in front of you, long dark hair hanging over his eyes and a joint resting between his lips which he inhales deeply, holding the smoke in his lungs for what seems to be an eternity until he exhales, passing the joint over to Yangyang all while staring directly at you. 
You feel hot beneath his intense stare, the dress you're wearing now seeming a little too tight and revealing that you subconsciously wrap your arms around yourself to cover up, not missing the way Donghyuck’s lips curl into a smirk before he brings a bottle up to his mouth, chugging the alcoholic beverage. 
You clear your throat, “That’s Donghyuck.”
“I know.”
Your head snaps towards Areum in surprise, “You know?”
“Yeah, of course,” Areum laughs lightly as she puts down her empty beer can on the windowsill. She presses her lips together as she leans back against the wall with her hands shoved into her low cut jeans. “Everyone here pretty much knows Donghyuck. He’s best friends with Jeno and that group.”
“Jeno…” You repeat the familiar name and you jab your thumb in the direction to where he’s standing, now dressed up in something completely different than last: wearing a white and dark grey ombre dress shirt with the buttons left undone, revealing his toned chest. You couldn’t look at him for too long without feeling flustered. “Him?”
“It’s his house—” She pauses, “Their house. They all live together, all five of them. But the sixth one recently moved out to live with his girlfriend.”
“Oh,” You blink, the curiosity inside of you building. “How do you know so much about this stuff?”
“They’re well-known,” Areum shrugs nonchalantly. “Some might say popular, I guess. Everyone pretty much knows everything about them… For starters, Jeno is the main guy that throws all these parties. He’s kind of a gym freak and he’s secretly really smart, he’s an engineering student. Jeno’s also one of those quote unquote ‘renown fuckboy’. He dated Miwoo for a long while—she’s the black haired one wearing a pretty black dress—but they broke up,
“Jaemin is one of the quiet ones, kind of mysterious in some ways too. You’ll hardly ever see him that much though, but he does appear every now and again to be around Jeno—they’ve been best friends for years. He’s a photography student who used to be in a serious relationship with a girl named Eunbin but they broke up. He did end up having a friends with benefits relationship with one of the girls in the group and then they got together, she’s currently away on a writer's trip,
“Renjun’s also one of the quiet ones, more of an observer. He sits in silence the majority of the time but he’s mean when he wants to be, plus doesn’t exactly take shit from anybody either so he can be kind of intimidating to some people. He’s an art student, some of his work is showcased on the walls in the art department. He’s also dating the pretty blonde that he's sitting with his arm around right now—Haru,
“Shotaro is the friendly and cute one that constantly smiles no matter what type of situation he is in. He’s pretty chilled out, carefree. He’s a dance student too… a really good one. He’s practically the baby of their group—everyone has a soft spot for him. He did however end up getting into a fight with Hyunjin because Yeji—Hyunjin’s ex—kissed him at a party. But even though Hyunjin was the one that threw the first punch, he ended up looking worse than Shotaro thanks to Yangyang who jumped in,
“Yangyang is another renown fuckboy, practically fucks anyone with a pussy between their legs. I’m almost positive he has slept with the majority of the girls in this room. He drinks and smokes weed a lot, and recently he’s been taking some harder stuff until he can’t physically function too. He once had a crush on one of the girls in their group—Jaemin’s now girlfriend—but nobody really knows what happened between them. I’m assuming he kept his feelings to himself considering Jaemin and her are all coupled up now, but anyway. Yangyang’s best friend is Donghyuck, you probably won’t ever see one without the other, they’re like two peas in a pod,
“Donghyuck… he’s interesting, I guess. A jokester, pretty dramatic at times but he can also switch into his serious mode which hardly no-one has ever seen. He parties a lot, definitely can outdrink anybody in this room. Smokes weed too and pops a few pills thanks to Sunwoo. He’s a little emo too which gives him a lot of attention—he’s attractive, he knows it. He sleeps around a lot and with anyone too, he plays both teams. But something kinda flipped in him after a while when he got a little obsessed with Aisha who actually rejected him not so long ago—”
“Isn’t, like, obsessed too much of a harsh word?” You cut her off with a frown, not liking the way she explained him to you. “Maybe he just had a crush on her or something? A big one?”
Areum laughs at that, clearly amused as she shakes her head. “No, sweetheart. When I say obsessed, I mean obsessed. The thing with Donghyuck is that he gets obsessed with people he likes pretty quickly… It’s like he gets infatuated with them, wants to give them his all and more.”
You can’t help but ask, “Is Aisha the only one that he’s been… obsessed with?”
“I doubt it. I heard that Donghyick was once obsessed with Jeno when they first became friends. It’s not that shocking, to be honest. Jeno is an attractive looking guy,” Areum explains to you as she pulls her hand out of her pocket, now holding a strawberry flavoured vape and placing it between her lips to inhale. She blows the smoke out of the corner of her mouth, making sure not to aim towards your face. “Donghyuck’s obsession with people can be pretty intense and sometimes I think Aisha made a lucky escape, although I’m familiar with how much she enjoys attention so she’ll probably want it back once she realises he’s got a new obsession.”
“A new obsession?” Your brows raise in surprise at that and you lean in closer as if what she’s telling you is about to be top secret. “Who is his new obsession?”
The smirk that spreads across Areum’s cheeks makes your body buzz and heart beat rapidly in your chest, growing even more curious but also nervous to know the answer as you watch as she takes another quick inhale of her vape before glancing over your shoulder.
“Well, with the way he’s staring at you over there with that look in his eyes, I think you’re the next target,” Areum’s eyes meet yours. “You’re his new obsession, sweetheart.”
His new what? 
“No I’m not,” A laugh forces its way out of your throat, a nervous one at that. You found it slightly ridiculous, really. There was absolutely no way that you could be his ‘new obsession’. It doesn’t make any sense. “He hardly knows me. We haven’t even spoken a word to each other… I think you’ve got it wrong.”
“Maybe,” She hums, eyes flickering over your shoulder once more. “But with the way he’s walking over here, I think I might be right on this one.”
He is what?
You’re glued in place, unable to turn around and see if she’s telling the truth or teasing you. The look on her face seems serious which makes you feel nervous, but the tone she uses is light which makes you think maybe she is playing tricks, wanting to tease you and see your reactions. 
But it’s the deep call of your name and the warm hand touching your upper arm is what makes you realise that she is, in fact, not lying. 
The nerves and the anxiety kicks in as you turn to face the person who had called out your name, your breath getting caught in the back of your throat as you meet Donghyuck’s dark eyes and that smile you have seen plenty of times before in class—the smile he always gives you when you catch his attention and when you meet his gaze. 
Having been this close to him, Donghyuck, without a doubt, is prettier up close and your tummy flutters at the proximity, almost wanting to take a step back just to put some space between you so you can breathe properly, to conjure up a thought or to even start the conversation as it dawns on you how long you’ve been embarrassingly quiet for.
“Hi,” You greet him, mentally kicking yourself for how silly your voice sounded. You open your mouth to speak again and you immediately regret what comes out, “You’re the guy from my music class.”
One of Donghyuck’s brows lifts in amusement, seemingly surprised but also enjoying how you’re pretending you don’t already know him but he plays along anyways, nodding his head slowly with that smile that makes your hands clammy. “I’m Donghyuck.”
“Donghyuck,” You repeat with a nod. His eyes darken at you saying his name, tongue coming out to sweep over his bottom lip to wet it. “I’m—”
“I know who you are.” He cuts you off and the embarrassment you feel amps up to a hundred, remembering how he called out your name a few moments prior. You’re unsure why you’re acting weird and awkward, maybe it was because he made you feel nervous. 
“I’m going to get us another drink,” Areum tells you, placing her hand on your shoulder to get your attention and you turn to her, eyes widening at the thought of her leaving you. “I’ll be right back. Stay here.”
The second Areum slips into the crowd to head towards the kitchen area, Donghyuck takes her place by the wall, leaning against it comfortably as his ringed fingers run through his dark locks, pushing his bangs out of the way and revealing his forehead for a split moment before his hair falls back into place, the tips almost touching his eyes that never seem to leave you. 
He finally asks, “Why did you pretend not to know me?”
“I don’t know,” You immediately reply, unable to stop yourself. “I didn’t mean it. I think I’m just nervous.”
The smile on his face widens before his bottom lip gets caught between his teeth, tilting his head to the side, “I make you nervous?”
“Big parties do,” You partially lie, clearing your throat. “People everywhere, you know… gets overwhelming.”
Donghyuck hums, “Right.”
“I’m serious,” You defend yourself for whatever reason and Donghyuck finds amusement in your voice and actions, eyes sparkling as you seemingly come out of your awkward shell for a few seconds, talking to him in a tone as you would with close friends and he even spots the corner of your lips twitching, almost smiling at him. “Being in a room crowded with people isn’t exactly something I enjoy.”
“I believe you,” He tells you softly. He wants to keep this conversation going, enjoying this side of you that’s slowly becoming comfortable with him already. He likes it, the sparkle in your eyes, the tone of your voice, the subtle peaceful expression on your face. He wants more. “Are you enjoying yourself here?”
That makes you pause. Are you enjoying yourself? You came with Areum and Minjun, two people who you enjoy being in the presence of. You stumbled across Xiaojun and Mark, two other people who bring enjoyment into your life and you were actually ecstatic when seeing Xiaojun for the first time earlier. The beer that was available in the cooler happened to be one of your favourite alcoholic beverages (you’ve had three of those already.) and the music that blasts from the speakers happens to be of a genre you listen to on the regular. 
You finally have your answer, “It’s not so bad.”
“Could it be better?” Donghyuck presses and your lips press together in deep thought before shrugging your shoulders, somewhat agreeing. Donghyuck leans in towards you, “Could I make it better?”
Your brows pull together in confusion, “You can do that? How could you do that?”
Donghyuck can’t help but smile at that and you grow even more confused when he begins to laugh softly, shaking his head. You wonder if you said the wrong thing or if there was a certain meaning behind his question that you failed to pick up on.  
A frown forms on your face due to you feeling a little stupid, thinking that he’s laughing at you or your dumb response and Donghyuck immediately notices you rebuilding the walls, how that look on your face that he adores slowly starts to slip and he straightens up against the wall, toning down his teasing.
“I like your dress, by the way.” His compliment shocks you, not expecting it to come from him and you instantly look down at your dress. 
At first, you wonder what’s wrong with it. If there was a stain you didn’t notice or if there was a tear in the fabric, but then you come to terms with that fact there’s nothing wrong with the dress and, actually, it’s probably one of the best that you own. It doesn’t cling to your body uncomfortably nor does it seem loose, it fits you well. 
You raise your head to thank him, but your words are stuck in the back of your throat when you notice the way he’s looking at you. He’s drinking you in, taking in your appearance, gaze roaming over the length of the dress with a deep inhale before his eyes snap back up to yours, the dark look returning.
“It’s pretty,” Donghyuck exhales, leaning his head back against the wall while keeping eye contact with you. “You’re really pretty.”
You’re flustered now. The attention from him becomes a bit too much and you find yourself feeling hot under his intense stare and there’s an unfamiliar feeling swirling in the pit of your tummy, something you’ve never felt before and it shocks you, but you try to not bring too much attention to it.
You debate on whether to thank him or to compliment him back on his own outfit: a loose graphic white shirt of a band you recognised paired with denim ripped jeans with chains hanging off the sides and a pair of doc martens on his feet. His signature leather jacket, one you’ve seen multiple times before in class, drapes across his shoulders. 
He does look good (really good, but you won’t admit that part.)
As you open your mouth, surprisingly finding the confidence to compliment him on his own outfit choice, it gets taken away from you when Areum announces her return as she comes towards you with drinks in her hand, followed by Minjun, Xiaojun and Mark who decided to tag along. 
You smile when Areum passes you a fresh drink, completely forgetting about the other that had become lukewarm in your hand and you’re unsure on what to do with it until it’s plucked from your grasp and you turn to look at Donghyuck who had taken it from you, clinking the can against your own in a small ‘cheers’ before he pushes himself off of the wall, his shoulder brushing yours as he heads back to where he originally came from.
You’re a little confused on why he left, watching as he drops down on the sofa beside Yangyang who looks like he’s exhausted, slouching against the sofa cushions and nodding to whatever Shotaro—you remembered him from when Areum pointed him out—was talking about and Donghyuck takes the joint from between his fingers, leaning against Yangyang as he takes a drag all while watching you.
It’s almost deja vu, the whole scene reminding you of earlier when he was looking at you from afar before he came on over to introduce himself. You find him odd, extremely odd, but you can’t deny the fact how intriguing he is. 
“So,” Areum’s voice grabs your attention. “How was it?”
“Fine,” You quip, turning to face the four. “He seemed fine. Nothing about that conversation screamed ‘I’m obsessed with you’ so, I think you were wrong with that one.”
Mark almost drops his beer, the alcohol sloshing and spilling over his hands as it almost slips from his fingers as he stares at you in shock, mouth agape, “Dude… you’re the next target?”
You deadpan, “Can you stop calling me a target? It feels like I’m about to get assassinated.” 
Xiaojun frowns, giving you a look of sympathy as he steps in closer to pat your back comfortingly, “You poor thing… my condolences. Stay strong, soldier.”
"Be quiet."
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An hour or two later you find yourself standing outside to get some fresh air alone, staring down at the liquid in your cup. You’re not sure how many you’ve had but you hate how you’re unable to feel the buzz that’s affecting those who are around you, glancing up at the few strays of people that are stumbling across the well-kept grass or are giggling to themselves as they stare up at the star filled sky. 
You wonder at first if the drink you have isn’t actually alcoholic, but from the reactions of your friends (who had been drinking the same brand with you the majority of the night.) they were already tipsy, or in Xiaojun’s case, drunk.
Maybe you just weren’t feeling it.
First college party jitters, Areum had called it when you had confided in her about the problem and you were undoubtedly embarrassed to hear her call it that, but she had reassured you that it was fine and that it was normal, and even she had experienced something similar when she came to her first college party at the beginning of the year. 
Still, it made you feel embarrassed.
With a heavy sigh, you finish the rest of your drink, pulling a face at the burn that trickles down the back of your throat as you turn on your heel to head back inside where your friends are but you crash into something hard, causing you to stumble backwards in shock and a pair of hands come out to grab your elbows, steadying you on your feet.
“Careful, princess.” The person speaks. Any other time, the pet name would’ve made you flustered, especially with that deep tone, but you barely acknowledge it as you try to shake yourself out of your startled state and you wince when you put too much pressure on your ankle, figuring you must’ve twisted it awkwardly when you bumped into the stranger. 
You curse under your breath as you feel the throb but you try not to pay too much attention to it as you finally meet eyes with Donghyuck who is already staring back at you, the grip he has on your elbows tightening slightly as you make eye contact with him. 
“I’m sorry.” You apologise instantly, “I didn’t see you.”
“It’s okay,” Donghyuck dismisses it with a shake of his head and his attention drops down to your ankle, his brows pulling together. “Did you hurt yourself?”
“Oh, yeah, just a bit. But it’s fine, honest—” 
The words get caught at the back of your throat as Donghyuck kneels down onto the grass to inspect the damage, cold fingers delicately touching your leg and trailing down to your ankle, the sudden action causing goosebumps to rise to your skin and you can just make out the corner of his lips twitching.
He traces the area with the pads of his fingertips slowly, suddenly aware of how close he’s leaning in as you feel his breath fan over your calf. His hand takes a hold of your ankle gently and carefully not to hurt you, the delicate strokes of his thumb sending a shiver up your spine and you wonder if he notices how nervous you’ve become.
Donghyuck presses his fingers down on a certain spot on your ankle and you hiss in surprise at the throb that comes with it, your hand instinctively slapping down on his shoulder in retaliation for the pain he caused but your mouth drops open in surprise while he glances up at you with a grin, eyes twinkling with amusement. 
“It’s not broken or anything,” He informs you before you could start to apologise again for your sudden actions, raising back up onto his feet. “You just twisted it awkwardly when you bumped into me.”
“Do you major in nursing alongside music or something?”
Donghyuck smiles at that, a laugh leaving his lips. “No. I’m just good at knowing my way around a body,” You immediately pick up the suggestive tone in his voice and your brows raise in surprise, feeling flustered and shy under his gaze that doesn’t waver from you. “You know, that’s the second time you’ve crashed into me—”
“Accidently.”
“Right,” He hums. “What’s that saying? Once is a mistake, twice is a coincidence—”
“And three times is a pattern,” You finish. “It’s not a coincidence or pattern. Both are mistakes. I don’t go walking around searching for you in hopes to bump into you.”
“Aw, that’s a shame.”
“That I’m not purposely bumping into you?”
“That you’re not searching around for me.”
Your face grows hot at his forwardness and your eyes flick downwards to a patch of grass you suddenly find interest in, the shyness that creeps upon you making it hard for you to look at him.
Donghyuck remains staring at you and the corner of his lips curl into a smirk, amused at how easily you seem to be flustered when it comes to him already. He basks in it, he loves knowing how much he affects you and it excites him even more when he dips his head to meet your eyes but you avert your attention elsewhere. 
He dips his hand into his jean pocket to pull out a singular pack of cigarettes, “Do you want one?”
“I don’t smoke.”
Donghyuck pauses, his fingers ghosting over the opening of the pack. “Do you mind if I smoke?”
You frown and that's when you look up to meet his eyes, confused. “Why wouldn’t I mind?”
“Some people don’t like being around smokers,” Donghyuck shrugs. “The smell and all.”
“I’m at a party where the air reeks of cigarettes, weed and alcohol,” You point out, a smile slowly starting to form on your lips. “I wouldn’t be here if I minded the smell. And besides, I can smell the weed on your clothes from earlier too and I haven’t said a word about it. I’m fine.”
He blinks once, twice, “Do I smell bad?”
“No,” You rush out to reassure him, shaking your head. “No, not at all. You smell fine.”
“Just fine?”
“You smell good.” You correct yourself.
The smirk returns as he tilts his head to the side, “Yeah?”
You come to a conclusion that he definitely enjoys making you embarrassed and flustered, and you let out a breathy laugh, tongue prodding at your cheek in slight annoyance at how easy it is for him to make you feel this way. 
If it was anyone else, you fight back. You always fight back. Being roommates with Areum and close friends with Minjun, Xiaojun, Mark and Jihoon had made you defensive, being a victim to their countless teasing and jokes you had learned over time to return it. 
But unfortunately there is something about Donghyuck that makes your words get caught in the back of your throat and your mind go completely blank, unable to think properly or even say something back.
“Whose is this?” Donghyuck’s already changing the subject, almost giving you whiplash at how easily he can switch to different topics without hesitating or missing a beat. His fingers reach out to touch Minjun’s jacket that’s draped over your shoulders, something that he had given you to keep you warm while you stepped outside. Donghyuck hums, brows pulling together. “You weren’t wearing this earlier.”
“Oh.” Your own fingers graze over the leather jacket. “It’s Minjun’s.”
Donghyuck drily asks, “Who?”
“He’s a friend.”
Donghyuck clicks his tongue against his teeth with a hum, “Yeah, well, your friend's jacket is covering this pretty dress of yours.”
The tone in his voice made your brows raise in surprise, the slight annoyance and disapproval of Minjun’s jacket covering—what he claims—a pretty dress was something you weren’t expecting, although it made your chest blossom with warmth and your face grew hot at the subtle compliment. 
He’s not speaking now, which makes you feel a bit awkward having to stand in silence with him, minus the music that’s blasting from inside the house and a few lingering people out in the garden that are having drunken conversations around you. His lips are pressing together tightly, jaw locking and unlocking as his brows furrow as if he’s thinking deeply about something, fidgeting in his spot with his fingers twitching around his own jacket after he retracted them from Minjun’s. 
You think maybe it’s time for you to leave, to say your goodbyes and find your friends so you can be free of the awkward tension you’re feeling. You want to stay with him though, not exactly eager to disappear away from him so soon just like how he practically walked away from you earlier when the others had come to join the conversation.
“Do you want another drink?” You catch yourself asking him before you could ever register the question in your head and your heart thumps wildly in your chest as Donghyuck slowly turns to look at you, “I mean, I noticed your hands are empty—and I want another drink too, so…”
Donghyuck stares at you for a moment longer before a smile breaks out onto his lips and he nods, agreeing to get another drink from the kitchen with you. But what you didn’t expect was Donghyuck to hold out his hand, wiggling his fingers enticingly in the air to coax you into taking his hand in your own. 
You’re hesitant to take it, not wanting him to feel how clammy your palms already are and you most definitely didn’t want to embarrass yourself for being so nervous during this entire interaction.
“I don’t bite, you know,” He says with a whisper and it sends shivers tingling down your spine at how close he leans in to tell you that. He tilts his head to the side as he smirks, “Unless—”
“DONGHYUCK!” 
The unfamiliar voice that shouts out his name startles you and your head whips around so fast you swear you hear a crack, immediately noticing a pretty, long haired girl stumble out of the backdoor of the house, almost tripping over her own heels before she collects herself, bringing her hand up to her forehead and squinting as she scans the garden for the boy in question. 
You slowly face Donghyuck again and he’s still looking at you, not even paying attention to the calls of his name that echo throughout the garden, not even flinching at the loudness. He’s still holding his hand out to you, waiting for you to take it so you could both go inside but you feel as if maybe it’s the wrong thing to do right now, looking back and forth between him and the girl.
You state, “Someone is calling for you.”
“I know, she’s drunk, ignore her,” Donghyuck dismisses it with a shake of his head and he reaches out further towards you, fingertips brushing over the top of your hand. “Let’s go get that drink, princess. Yeah?”
You don’t even get the chance to decide to accept or decline as the girl approaches you both and immediately throws herself at Donghyuck and punches his arm repeatedly, rambling about something that he had kept hidden from ‘the rest of them’ and she even goes as far as shoving her hand into the front pocket of his jeans.
You blink away awkwardly, unsure of what to do or even to say but you look back at the pair when she pulls out a small bag of weed with a wail of victory.
“I knew you fucking had it,” She hisses, landing another punch on his arm and he rolls his eyes, trying to snatch it out of her grasp but she pulls it away quickly out of his reach, almost bumping into you in the process and her eyes widen in surprise. “Shit, I’m sorry!”
You shake your head, “It’s fi—”
“Miwoo.” Donghyuck speaks her name through gritted teeth and it instantly rings a bell, remembering that she was one of the girls that Areum had told you about earlier, one of Donghyuck’s best friends exes. “Why don’t you take the weed and go share it with Yangyang? Yeah?”
“You’re really pretty,” Miwoo completely ignores Donghyuck to compliment you, eyes checking you out from head to toe with a smile that makes you feel a little flustered but it disappears, replacing with a grimace as she jabs her thumb back at Donghyuck, “Why are you talking to him?”
Donghyuck’s hand comes up to rub the bridge of his nose, seemingly getting frustrated with his friends words and you can’t help but smile at that, finding the situation a little comical and you watch as Donghyuck manages to get her attention, the pair getting warped into a miniature argument that has you trying to bite back your amusement, pressing your lips together tightly to try and not smile even wider.
Although, your watching moment is cut short when you hear Areum call out your name and you turn to look over your shoulder to see her beckoning your forwards and you nod, wanting to politely bid your goodbyes to Donghyuck and Miwoo but you decide against it when you them at each other's throats with petty insults, quickly making your escape to Areum who loops your arms with hers, tugging you back into the house where the others are patiently waiting for you.
Donghyuck notices your disappearance almost immediately and his shoulders drop with a sigh, glaring at Miwoo who isn’t the least affected by his darkened gaze as she dips her fingers inside the baggy to pull out a pre-rolled joint.
“You’re unbelievable.”
“I know,” Miwoo grins before she meets Donghyuck’s eye, “She’s really pretty.”
“Yeah, I know,” Donghyuck mumbles under his breath, tongue prodding at his cheek in annoyance as he rips the bag and the joint out of Miwoo’s hands. “Give me that. You don’t deserve it, asshole.”
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The amusement on your face is obvious when Xiaojun and Mark step into the Dreamies Café, both dressed in oversized hoodies and wearing sunglasses to block out the brightness of the sun and the lights from burning their eyes, arms dangling at their sides as they drag their feet across the flooring towards the table where you and Jihoon are sat waiting for them. 
You arrived ten minutes before the two of them did and you were surprised to already see Jihoon sitting at the table with everyone's preferred drinks, and even when you tried to hand over the money for your own, he just looked at you as if you deeply offended him and swatted your hand away before pulling out a chair and telling you to sit.  
Xiaojun doesn’t seep a word as he slumps down in the seat opposite you, but he does gesture a quick thank you to Jihoon for the drink and he lifts the straw to his lips to take a long sip, chest rumbling with a satisfied hum as he relaxes into his seat, the ice clinking in his iced matcha as he continuous to drink.
“Hey,” Mark greets you both as he sits on the seat at the end of the table, fingers curling around the plastic cup of his watermelon ade as he glances over at Jihoon. “Thanks, man. I’ll venmo you the money.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Jihoon dismisses with a wave of his hand. “It’s on me anyways. You paid for my drink last time we were here,” His gaze suddenly flicks over to Xiaojun, the corner of his lips twitching. “You look like shit.”
“I feel like shit,” Xiaojun grumbles, craning his head back. “But fuck those cocktails tasted good.”
“You know, you’re probably going to have to give Jeno the money back for raiding his stash.”
“Actually, it belonged to Yangyang,” Xiaojun corrects as he digs his hand through the front of his jean pockets, pulling out his phone and swiping up to get to his notification bar and he angles the screen towards the three of you with a grimace. “He dmed me on Instagram this morning telling me to pay him back but I’m not even going to open it.”
“Dude,” Mark gives him a pointed look. “You can’t do that.”
“But I can,” Xiaojun locks his phone and places it down on the table with a grin. “And I will.”
Jihoon murmurs, “But you drank his stuff without his permission.”
“He uses my laptop in classes without my permission!” Xiaojun argues back immediately, “It’s payback.”
“You shouldn’t have given him your password.”
“I didn’t. I gave it to Donghyuck because he wanted—” Xiaojun suddenly pauses, blinking a few times as he registers his own words before smacking his lips together with a nod, exhaling deeply through his nose. “Yeah. That’s my fault. Should’ve guessed Donghyuck wouldn’t keep his mouth shut about that.”
The mention of Donghyuck has you thinking back on last night and a subtle smile makes its way onto your lips, twisting the straw of your coffee in between your teeth as you go over the interaction in your head.
The smirk he always has, the tone of his voice as he speaks to you, the way he always keeps eye contact and doesn’t even falter once when something else is going on around him. His somewhat flirtatious comments and his lingering touches is what surprises you the most, but you tell yourself that maybe that’s just his personality. 
He’s like that with everyone, he must be.
“What’s got you smiling over there?” A teasing voice breaks you out of your thoughts, startling you as your head shoots up and you see Xiaojun grinning at you across the table, chin resting on the palm of his hand as he waits for you to explain the reason for your smiling but you remain tight lipped, causing his grin to drop. “Don’t be like that.”
“Don’t be nosy.” You fire back jokingly.
A soft call of your name makes you turn your head to Jihoon, “Did you enjoy the party yesterday?”
“It was fine,” You nod your head. “Didn’t get as drunk as everyone else did, but it was fine. College parties can be kind of overwhelming though,” You scratch the back of your neck awkwardly as you admit, “I don’t know why but I didn’t expect that many people to be there…”
“Yeah, Jeno is pretty well-known,” Mark hums as he takes a sip through his straw, leaning back in his seat comfortably. “Don’t get me wrong, like, that entire group are pretty much well-known but it’s mainly Jeno that gets the most attention and rallies everyone up for parties.”
“Areum kind of explained everything to me about them last night,” You say. “They’re an interesting group, I think. They also come across as a little intimidating apart from Shotaro… he was just smiling the entire night.”
“Shotaro’s sweet,” Mark agrees, nodding his head. “Also, once you get to really know them, they aren’t that intimidating—”
“I don’t know about that. Renjun still makes my skin crawl.” Xiaojun interrupts with a shiver.
“Renjun’s just not a people person,” Mark explains with a shrug of his shoulders. “He’s actually really nice if you have a one on one conversation with him,” Mark then turns his attention back on you, “But seriously, none of them are that intimidating once you get to really know them or be around them. Take Yangyang and Donghyuck for example, we don’t find either of them ‘intimidating’ since we share a class with them.”
“They’re just annoying,” Xiaojun chimes in again with a grimace on his face. “Especially Yangyang.”
You can’t help but chuckle at that, “What’s your problem with Yangyang?”
“Yangyang likes to annoy people a lot,” Jihoon is the one to explain to you as Xiaojun rubs at his temples at the mere thought of Yangyang. “He enjoys getting on people's nerves and, fortunately for him, Xiaojun reacts to everything he does so that just makes him do it even more… although, he hasn’t really been doing anything lately. He’s just been kinda numbed out.”
You hum, “Areum also mentioned that he indulges himself into some hard shit, alongside the weed and the alcohol.”
“That’s heartbreak for you, I guess.” Mark mumbles under his breath with a frown, tone sullen and your brows pull together in confusion, wanting to question it a little bit more but you struggle to find the opportunity when another topic is brought up.
“And obviously you know so much about Donghyuck already.”
“No I don’t,” You snip, sending a hard look Xiaojun’s way as he bats his pretty eyelashes at you. You repeat, “No I don’t”
“You were outside in the garden with him for quite some time last night~”
“I’m surprised you even remembered that considering when I walked back into the house, you were on your eighth shot dancing with one of the kitchen chairs.”
“Hey,” Xiaojun points his finger at you, “I may have been drunk but this brain of mine remembers everything.” He then smiles at you, “What did you guys talk about? Did he mention that you’re now his new obsession?”
Jihoon almost spits out his drink, “You’re his new obsession?”
“Why do you all call it that?” You huff with a frown, leaning back in your seat with your arms crossed over your chest. “It sounds mean—and wrong.”
“It’s kinda the truth,” Mark gives you a sorry expression. “Donghyuck does get obsessed with people and I’m almost positive he even knows it himself… He falls for people hard and he becomes so infatuated with them until they say they want nothing to do with him, and he just… stops.”
“He was into Aisha before,” Xiaojun states but you already knew that from Areum’s previous explanation. “He liked her a lot and I’m pretty sure she was into it for a while considering she flirted back and there were even rumours that they hooked up, like, once or twice… but I guess she got bored with that so she made up a lie and told Donghyuck that she was dating Mark—”
“Me. Of all people.” Mark points to himself in disbelief and shakes his head, the expression on his face being enough to get a laugh out of you. 
“I mean, I would believe it,” Jihoon shrugs his shoulders, causing Mark to look at him incredulously. “Come on, you once walked out of a bathroom with her at a Halloween party with your spider-man costume unzipped and your mask gone—”
“I had to fucking piss really bad and I couldn’t get out of the costume because I was drunk so she helped me,” Mark immediately defends himself, a pout forming on his lips. “Besides, it was hot, I wasn’t going to wear the mask all night.” He then fires back up, “I wouldn’t fuck someone in dingy club’s disgusting bathroom, dude!”
Xiaojun blinks, “You lost your virginity in a cheap motel room with your ex-girlfriend.”
Mark bites back, “You lost yours in your grandma's basement, shut up.”
“Okay, wow, uncalled for.”
“Don’t argue…” Jihoon sighs, rubbing his forehead at their raised voices and your brows raise as the pair both turn to look at Jihoon with blank expressions before they speak in sync.
“You lost yours in the college janitor closet and got caught.”“Wait, really?” You gape at Jihoon in shock, not expecting someone like a quiet and socially awkward Jihoon to do something so scandalous on campus grounds. But your shock dies down and morphs into shyness when you realise the trio are now looking at you, expecting you to chime in with your own embarrassing virginity story but the problem was, you had none. Your virginity is still intact.
“Do you not have one?” Mark questions after a few minutes of awkward silence and you shake your head, avoiding his eyes. He questions genuinely again, not a hint of teasing in his tone as he whispers quietly. “Are you a virgin?”
You nod.
“Aww…” Xiaojun coos softly, causing your head to snap towards him as he smiles sweetly at you, “That’s cute.”
Your face immediately burns with embarrassment as you sink further down into your seat, a deep frown settling on your lips, “Don’t ever call my virginity cute again.”
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“Wow… I’m immensely impressed,” Professor Kim mumbles under his breath as he slips the headphones off of his head after listening to a little recording you had made on your computer, his lips curled into satisfied grin as he places the headphones down on the table and you beam happily, glancing between him and your computer screen. “I’m also really impressed that you finished this today. I was expecting you to show me the finished product by at least next week… I’m grateful that you take this class seriously.”
“I enjoy music,” You tell him honestly as you tap your fingers nervously on your desk, “Is there anything I need to change or to work on?”
“There’s nothing you need to work on, it sounds great,” He compliments yet you prepare yourself for the rest, “But for changes? I would like to encourage you to partner up with some of the other students in the class, work together on a piece and let your music styles blend together to see how well it compliments each other, or even try and create something new.”
“So, like a group project?”
“Exactly,” Professor Kim nods. “Like I said, you’re impressive. You’re an amazing guitarist and pianist, your music is incredible when you’re solo. But I would like to hear it within a group too. Yangyang is an incredible bass player that you can maybe add. Xiaojun and Aisha are amazing vocalists, Donghyuck too and he’s also great at the guitar. Jihoon is talented with the keyboard and Mark can do just about everything. Seriously, think about it. I would love to hear how you sound within a group.”
With a kind smile and a gentle pat to your shoulder, Professor Kim excuses himself to go talk to another student, leaving you alone to think about his words.
It’s not that you didn’t want to work in a group. You’re almost positive that working with your friends will be a fun type of chaotic mess that will have your stomach cramping and tears streaming down your cheeks from laughing so much.
It’s just that you didn’t know how to work in a group. You’ve always been independent in some sort of sense, especially with your own creations. You preferred sitting alone with your headphones snug on your head, testing out different sounds and techniques all by yourself, choosing what sounds best and what suits your needs.
But working in a group? Settling on one thing that will make each of you happy? That is foreign territory… that is stressful.
“So, what did he say to you?” Jihoon asks with a gentle nudge at your shoulder to get your attention and you pull your eyes away from your laptop screen to give him a tight lipped smile.
“He liked it. He just wants me to try out group work,” You almost start pleading, “Got any room in your group project for me to fit in?”
“Sure,” Jihoon nods with a kind smile, “Although I feel like I should probably warn you by saying that sometimes it’s not just me, Mark and Xiaojun working together… Donghyuck and Yangyang sometimes come back and forth, especially for Mark.”
Your brows raise in surprise, “They’re in your group too?”
“Not exactly. It’s more like them coming to us when we’re working to borrow Mark for their project,” Jihoon explains to you as he nods over at Mark who’s currently leaning on a desk with Donghyuck and Yangyang at his sides, peering over his shoulder to look at his laptop screen. “Mark pretty much floats in and out of other people's groups. It’s what you get for being an allrounder I guess.”
“Professor Kim mentioned something like that.” You mumble as you watch the trio, the corner of your lips twitching upwards in a slight smile as Mark scoffs at something Donghyuck says, swatting him away with his hand as Donghyuck grins mischievously and murmurs something in his ear, causing Mark to push at his head this time and Donghyuck stumbles back with a laugh.
Yangyang remains silent, idly drumming his fingers on the desk and rubbing tiredly at his sullen eyes beneath his hood. He seems to stop when turning his body towards you, as if looking your way to which makes your back straighten up, especially when Donghyuck’s head whips around at a mumble from Yangyang, looking directly at you. 
From across the room, Donghyuck smiles that crooked grin of his and his eyebrow quirks up when he sees that you’re already staring back at him. You can feel the warmth rising to your cheeks at being caught, and though you try to suppress the shy feeling that creeps in, you know he can already tell exactly how you’re feeling as his eyes twinkle with amusement, tilting his head to the side as if to tease you even more.
Donghyuck’s eyes never leave you as you turn away, trying to busy yourself with something else as your heart thumps wildly in your ears, feeling too overwhelmed to glance back at Donghyuck despite seeing him in your peripheral vision.
“You really have caught his attention,” Jihoon mutters beside you with a chuckle and you whip around to face him, eyes wide. “I thought that maybe Xiaojun and Mark were teasing you… but I guess Donghyuck really has started to take a liking to you. You are his new obsession.”
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vantxx95 · 16 days ago
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FINALLY FOUND IT !!!!! yeeeee gonna binge read it tonight <3
## wrong owner, babe. — p. jay
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synopsis: coming from a meeting, you were rushing out of the office to go to your next class. after a few hours later, you realize you left your phone in the office, so you went to go get it, but when you asked your professor where your phone was, he said he already returned it to the owner already. which owner? the one on your lockscreen. who's your lockscreen? the guy you've had a crush on for months, park jongseong.
pairing: jay x fem!reader
content/genre: college au (as always sigh), slowburn? probably. fluff and angst.
warning(s): i'll put them on every chap, but i'm pretty sure, swearing
note: :D HAHAHAHAHA i know i said let me just finish the semester and all, but i couldn't help it. pls, this isnt even from the wips, but here we go HAHAHA based off from this tiktok ,, send an ask to be added on the taglist, okay? <3 banner made by @yeongwonie thanks my love <3
tags: r.asks: wob, wob updates, wob thoughts
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profiles. / two.
one. — the mess starts.
two. — drool over jay > meeting.
three. — dumbass lost her phone.
four. — a box of mint choco for sunoo.
five. — you can get your phone, but i have a condition.
six. — babe? no, it's bub now.
seven. — when y/n grows up.
eight. — park "genuine red flag friend" jongseong
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smau taglist [ open! ] : @cparqx @c9tnoos
permanent taglist: @ja4hyvn @goldenhypen @acciomylove @kuromieiie @baekhyunstruly @knrejj @tomorrowbymoa-together @mygnolia @person-standing @son9oi @ferxanda @hutao-s @rising-ashes @missmadwoman @todorokiskitten @dinosdance @candidupped @clarakyunisageek @yizhoutv @kyleeanne @jaeyummies @woniewhite @staysstrays @kuuuuroo @beibybtch @iamnotgrootforiamthor @tobiosbbyghorl @w3bqrl @jakesim-p @vantxx95 @en-boyz @pjongbb204 @kpoprhia @saucytaehyung @bobatonin @bubblejunnies @intotheleeknow @jjunis
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vantxx95 · 16 days ago
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profiles (one). / profiles (two).
wrong owner, babe. — p. jay
synopsis: coming from a meeting, you were rushing out of the office to go to your next class. after a few hours later, you realize you left your phone in the office, so you went to go get it, but when you asked your professor where your phone was, he said he already returned it to the owner. which owner? the one on your lockscreen. who's your lockscreen? the guy you've had a crush on for months, park jongseong.
pairing: jay x fem!reader
content/genre: college au (as always sigh), slowburn? probably. fluff and angst.
note: finally ????? hELP DHSBCFSDHJ
taglist: @cparqx @c9tnoos @enhaluvrsworld @bloomedberry @hoonlv @that-awkward-shiz @omgjwon @blearis @fairycheol @a-noona-mous @allorysayshi @nicelicious @nishmrriki @eitaababe @ahnneyong @axolotlboo @enhyped-up @msxflower @faeriihearts @solitxre @sophiko22 @centheodd @143pjs @bambisgirl @sunshinble @ryurass @babygay-stay @dekusgirl @luvwonies @sweetjaemss @meowoni @sjyuniverse @kyutekyuala @kimiczi @elevenlatte @luvrjn @leeis @qghosty @jakey-sim @cyuuupid @strwbryparfait @exatse @yourlocalhotgf @hee-in @koroktsuya @ily-cuz-i @moon-lys @verifiedsunghoonsimp @raehyun-byeoll @idyllicangel @amakumos @hrjchive @enhasengene @luv4cheol
147 notes · View notes
vantxx95 · 16 days ago
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Wait for your love | jjk
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—  pairing: firefighter!jungkook x female reader 
—  genre: kind of exes to lovers, parents au, angst, fluff, and smut 
— rating: 18+ 
—  summary: sixteen years ago, your life was turned upside down when you surrendered to the temptation — none other than jungkook, the star basketball player on your school’s team. today, after all that time, you reunite under tragic circumstances; a car crash where he saves your life.
—  words: 17,383
—  warnings: strong language, car accident, blood, mention of pregnancy, mention of cheating, mention of divorce, mention of sex, sever injuries, mention of death, crying, mention of heartbreak, mention of breakup, oc suffers quite a lot, mention of unprotected sex, mention of fire, mention of fighting, kissing, pain struggle, tattooed!jungkook, dom!jungkook, big cock!jungkook, praising, oc and jungkook are needy, choking, a bit of fingering, a bit of handjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, morning sex, slow sex (is it even a thing?), and creampie
—  author’s note: so here you finally have this fic 🤗 i’ve been working on it for a little while already & i’ve adored writing it! To be honest, this is my fav jk that i’ve ever written 🫣I truly hope you’ll enjoy this fic as much as i’ve enjoyed writing it ✨ don’t hesitate to let me know what you think of it ❤️
—  playlist: supernatural | forget about us | standing next to you | bed chem | juno
MASTERLIST
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The sound of the sirens echoes in your ears.
Your eyes are completely shut, your entire body hurts, and you put your hand on your head as if you’re trying to stop the pain you’re feeling. Slowly you try to open your eyes, and you see the completely broken windshield of your car. You take a look around to notice how damaged the inside of your car is.
It’s pretty bad.
Your eyes flutter shut once more, the effort to keep them open too much to bear. Gradually, you feel yourself falling asleep. As you slip into slumber, your mind is drawn back to a painful memory — the day you gave your son up for adoption.  
Being a teen mother wasn’t on your plans. Even though you really wanted to become a mother, it simply wasn’t possible then. Having a kid at sixteen wouldn’t be easy and for sure, you wouldn’t be able to offer a proper life to that kid. It wouldn’t be fair to him to keep him only because you wished to become a mother. He deserved to have a good life, to have loving parents, and to accomplish all his dreams.
On top of that, the baby was living proof that you cheated on your then-boyfriend. Definitely, you weren’t proud of yourself. The father of your baby was a bit of a jerk, but, when he found out about your pregnancy, he showed nothing but support. It was surprising, but it felt great to have him by your side.
Giving your son up for adoption was devastatingly hard. But it was the best for him. After that, you spent the last sixteen years wondering what he had become. Every boy you met that’d match his age; you’d wonder if it was him. And sometimes, you’d regret abandoning him. In those moments, crying was the only solution.
As hard as possible, you resist the urge to fall asleep, but the headache is making this battle hard to fight.
“Ma'am,” you hear a distant voice.
Those words echo in your mind, and strangely, it feels like this voice is a familiar one. The pain must be causing some hallucination, you think. But as hard as you can, you try to find out who could be the owner of that voice.
While you think, your eyes open a bit before closing again. Your hand remains on your head, and suddenly, you remember who it is. It is the father of your firstborn.
As you realize who it might be, you shake your head. It’s impossible to be him. After the birth of your baby, you went separate ways and never heard of him anymore. Sometimes, you hope to meet him again to check what he has become.
That man was handsome as hell so you’re absolutely sure that he found someone, got married, and had children. From time to time, you think about him and wonder if he also thinks about your baby as much as you do. Maybe he doesn’t since you’re convinced he has new children to think of.
But that’s silly of you to think that because after your firstborn, you had three other adorable children: two girls, Jia and Jiwoo, and a little boy, Jeong. Being their mother and caring about them never made you forget about your first.
On top of being a mother, you also got married to Minkyu. You met him three years after giving birth, and you were convinced he was the love of your life. However, you ended up divorcing after eight years of marriage. It wasn’t easy, you felt like a total failure. Now, you’re living on your own, sharing custody of your three babies with your ex-husband. Luckily, you remained on good terms, you’d even say you’re friends now.
For the past two years, you’ve been focusing on yourself which means no relationships. But that doesn’t exclude one-night stands. You’re very careful as you don’t want your children to one day stumble upon one of the guys you’ve been fucking with. And you also want to avoid getting pregnant again.
When you planned on stopping the pill to have a child with Minkyu, your gynecologist told you that you seemed to be the fertile type. She was quite right since you got pregnant right after stopping the pill. In three years, you had three kids. So, it explains it all. And it also explains how you easily got pregnant at sixteen, the only time you didn’t use protection.
Now, you’re wondering if this is how your life ends. You’ve last seen your kids four days ago, you’re probably never going to fall in love again, and you’re never going to see your firstborn. This is a tragic way to die. Your mind only thinks about your babies.
Although your mind feels disconnected from your body, you sense a pair of strong arms lifting you up.  Your body is completely sore, and even being held in someone’s arms is painful. The person is talking to you, or at least talking to someone but your brain doesn’t process the words at all.   
Then, the pain knocks you up.
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Jungkook and his team got called for a car accident involving several cars, and when they arrived, the scene was horrific.
There are probably five cars pressed and smashed one against the other. There are people injured and bleeding walking around the scene. Paramedics are already taking care of them, but Jungkook is walking to the cars to retrieve the people stuck inside. His captain screams orders and tells him which car he should go to.
His eyes look around, his heart breaking when he sees everyone involved and still stuck in their cars. Visions like this are quite common for him, it doesn’t happen all the time but it’s still recurrent. At the end of the day, his job is to save people in this type of situation.
When he reaches the car, he was assigned to, he takes a look at how many people there are inside. There’s just one person, a woman behind the steering wheel. She has her hand on her head, clearly showing that she might have a headache. She doesn’t really move. Instantly, Jungkook tries to open the door, but it’s showing a bit of resistance.
It feels impossible to open the door, but Jungkook sees the woman’s head falling. He’s getting worrier; she’s slumping into sleep which isn’t a good sign as she was holding her head barely seconds ago. He then proceeds to break the window so he can try to open it from inside. There are other possible ways, but it would be harder and more dangerous to get her out of the vehicle.
“Ma’am,” he says with urge.
Eventually, he manages to open the damn door from the inside. A good part of the car’s front is crashing into her. Before even thinking of taking her out, he places a cervical collar to protect her neck and spine.
“Ma’am,” he repeats. “Can you hear me?”
She doesn’t answer at all. Jungkook gets closer, his fingers brushing the hair from her face, but when he finally gets to properly see the woman’s face, his heart skips a beat. This woman is none other than you. His mind can’t start to get lost in the past right now. He needs to focus on taking you out of the car.   
You’re in pretty bad shape.
There’s blood on your forehead, you most probably have a wound on top of your head. There’s also blood at the level of your stomach, turning your green shirt into a very dark color. He can distinguish a big fragment of glass shoved into your belly. It doesn’t look good. Your legs are also completely smashed by the front, causing the steering wheel to be very close to your body.  Hopefully, your legs aren’t too injured. He doesn’t even want to start thinking about all the bruises on your body.
Slowly, he places one hand behind your back while his other hand slowly pushes your legs. He’s trying to be as careful as possible to avoid causing any other injury.  His strong arms hold you once he manages to fully remove you from the car. His eyes look down at your face with evident pain. He notices how you’re trying to open your eyes which makes him think that you’re trying to fight the urge to fall asleep.
“Yn,” he says while walking to an ambulance. “Please, stay with me,” he whispers with despair. “I’ve finally found you, and I can’t lose you right away.”
A tear streams down his face as Jungkook begins to run. “Fuck, fuck,” he mumbles when he realizes that you’ve now fallen asleep.  “Help me here,” he shouts to some paramedics.
Two people run in his direction with a stretcher, and he carefully places you there. His eyes never leave you until you’re placed inside an ambulance.
Never did he think he’d find you like this. For the past sixteen years, he imagined the many ways he’d stumble upon you. He thought of meeting you randomly one day in the streets, in a shop, or even in a restaurant. Meeting you after a car crash wasn’t on his mind at all.
Jungkook then proceeds to take care of the other people stuck in their cars. His job isn’t over yet, other people are waiting for his help. Thankfully enough, after so many years of experience, he’s able to focus on what he has to do.
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Slowly, you open your eyes. Instinctively, you place your hand on your head since you last remember having a headache, but it doesn’t hurt—at least not anymore. For a brief moment, you close your eyes again while trying to understand what happened.  
Once you open your eyes once more, you look around to realize that you’re lying on a hospital bed. You’re in a room, an individual one. Although you’re alone in a room, can hear many people talking outside.
In the midst of all the noise, you distinguish your sister’s voice. You can’t really understand what she’s saying but she seems worried. Somebody is talking to her, but you don’t recognize the voice. After a little while, your sister opens the door to join you.
A smile appears on her face when she sees you awake. “Yn,” she says before hugging you. You wrap your arms around her, she’s holding you tight. There’s no need for her to speak for you to understand she was dead worried. It also leaves you wondering if you’re really in a bad situation.  When she finally takes a step back, you can see how worried she is.
“I was death worried,” she says. “I thought you died.”
Those words crunch your heart. The simple thought of picturing your sister thinking that is heartbreaking. However, you’re still here. Maybe not in your best shape but you’re still alive.
“Death was too afraid of me,” you jokingly say.
“It’s not funny,” she’s definitely annoyed that you’re joking. “It’s very bad, yn.”
Her eyes don’t betray her, it doesn’t look great. For sure, it’s bad since you remember seeing your car completely destroyed. Memories of the car crash come back. It happened quite fast. The car in front of you didn’t notice the car on the left. Two vehicles in front of you suddenly collided with each other. Due to the small distance and minimal reaction time, you were unable to stop in time, which led to you colliding into the cars. The same happened to the cars behind colliding into you.
“Two people died in the crash, yn, and the doctors didn’t give me many details when they called me,” she explains.
“How long have I been here?” you ask.
It leaves you wondering how long it has been since the car crash happened.
“Almost two days,” she informs.
“Oh,” you simply say.
Your sister then proceeds to explain to you that you went through a couple of surgeries.
When you arrived, you had a glass shoved into your stomach and it caused some damage. You were bleeding internally so you first had surgery to remove the glass and stitch any part of your intestines that needed to be repaired.
On top of that, your knees were destroyed and a part of your hips was broken. So after the stomach surgery, you went through a long surgery to repair your knees, and later on, another one to repair your hips.
Your sister doesn’t know the specificities of the surgeries, but those surgeries are already a lot. She also tells you that you evidently have bruises and scratches all over your body. It definitely sounds bad, but you’re under the influence of painkillers so you don’t really feel anything so far.
“Where are Jia, Jiwoo, and Jeong?” you ask looking around.
“Minkyu took them back home a couple of hours ago,” she tells you.
If your sister was dead worried, you can’t even start to imagine how your kids were feeling. You have such a strong bond with them, and they are still so young; your little Jiwoo is only four years old. You don’t even doubt that they started imagining the worst.
“How are they?” you ask.
“As you can imagine, it’s been harder for them than for anyone else,” your heart aches. “They’ve been crying a lot.”
You close your eyes, holding back the tears. It breaks your heart to have put your babies through this. Even though it’s far from being your fault, you never want to hurt your babies like that. Your role as a mother is to protect them.
“We’ve all been there for them,” she adds.
A tear runs down your face.
“Don’t worry, big sis,” she says before hugging you once more. “They’ll be so happy to see you fully awake.”
You hold her tight in your embrace to comfort you in some kind of way. For a little while, you both stay like this.
“There’s been a firefighter coming to visit you every day,” she whispers in your ear. “A handsome one, actually.”
A little giggle escapes your lips.
“Stop saying nonsense,” you give her a little tap.
She takes a step back with the brightest smile on her face.
“I’m very serious, yn,” she says. “The firefighter that saved you has been coming to check up on you.”
Well, it sounds like he’s kind of adorable. It’s definitely very sweet of him to take the time to check up on you after saving your life.
“He’s extremely hot too,” she adds.
“Stop it,” you say. “You’re exaggerating!”
“I am not!” she instantly replies. “You’ll see when he comes.”
You roll your eyes. She’s definitely unbelievable as always, but she’s your sister. You love her beyond comprehension because she was your very first baby. You have a ten-year gap and you’ve been taking care of her since the very first minute she was born. Your parents had her very late; they were almost 40 years old but the happiest.
When you were around two, they started trying to have a second child. However, it didn’t go as planned. Your mother suffered two miscarriages and after that, it became even harder to have a child. Eventually, when you were around eight, they gave up. They were happy to have you and settled with the idea that you’d be an only child.
But against all odds, a year later, she got pregnant. The pregnancy went to full term, and that’s how you became a big sister.
The gap between you was harder around your teenage years. All you were thinking about was boys, and all she wanted was to play. She also wanted to have a younger sibling, but your parents were already too old for that. Your mum said that she couldn’t handle another big age gap between her kids.
Your sister was the happiest when you announced your pregnancy at sixteen. She was only six back then, and that baby would have been like the little sibling she always desired to have. She was devastated when you explained to her that you wouldn’t keep the baby. Your parents were too but they understood and supported your decision.
Outside your parents, nobody ever knew that Jungkook was the father of your first son. At first, your ex-boyfriend thought that he was the father, that maybe a condom broke and that’s how you got pregnant. But you always knew that he wasn’t the father. It simply wasn’t possible. It all got confirmed when you birthed a baby that looked a lot like Jungkook.
You still remember how heartbroken your ex was, and you couldn’t blame him. The breakup was too hard to handle back then so you never told anyone who the father was, except for Jungkook. He deserved to know the truth. You weren’t expecting much from him as he was the basketball star of your school team. And above anything else, he was a complete jerk.
Nevertheless, he proved you wrong when he supported you. He was by your side for the entirety of the pregnancy. He came to all the ultrasounds and gynecologist's appointments. He was there, and he completely stopped being a jerk to your eyes. Eventually, you became closer, but you refused to be more than friends even though you had strong feelings for him.
Why?
Because it’d be too hard to stay with him after giving up your son for adoption. Jungkook was also supposed to leave for one of the best colleges after that. It was in another city, and you knew he’d stay if you dated. You refused to let him give up his dreams for you. You broke his heart; you could see it in his eyes, but it was for the best. If you were meant to be, you’d find your way back. But it never happened. After that, you completely lose contact.  
There’s a knock on the door. Your sister proceeds to open it, letting the person come in. “Speaking of the devil,” she turns her head to look at you with the brightest smile on her face.
When the famous live-savior firefighter enters, the entire world completely freezes. The firefighter is none other than Jungkook. Your heart skips a beat when your eyes meet. After all these years, you finally see him again.
A smile spreads on his face when he sees you awake. You can tell that he’s relieved. For an instant, you take a proper look at him. He’s still wearing his firefighter uniform, indicating that he most probably came from a mission — if that’s the correct word to use. His hair is very short and a tiny bit messy. Above anything else, he absolutely looks tired, the dark circles under his eyes betraying him.
“Hi,” he simply says as he takes a step inside.
“Hi, Jungkook,” you reply.
Your sister is at first taken aback by the fact that you know his name, but as she takes a proper look at your facial expressions, she can tell that you know him.
“I’ll leave you two,” she says before disappearing.
“How are you feeling?” he asks while getting closer.
“I guess fine for now, but not sure, how I’ll feel when the painkillers will no longer have any effects.”   
His eyes scan your face while yours do the same. His beauty is still breathtaking; you’d even say that he aged like fine wine.
“Thanks for rescuing me from the car crash,” you add.
“No need to thank me,” he instantly replies. “It’s part of my job.”
“I still need to. Without you, I wouldn’t be here today.”
Even though it’s part of his job, he saved you, and he deserves to be thanked for that. You would have said it to any other firefighter.
“It’s good to see you awake,” he says.
There is so much you want to say to him, but at the same time, now that you have him in front of you, you don’t even know what to say.
“I just quickly passed by to check up on you,” he informs you. “I need to get back to work.”
“No problems,” you reply. “Thanks for coming.”
“Would you mind if I come back later?” he nervously asks.
Your heart is now racing in your chest. Of course, you want him to come back so you get to catch up and find out how he went from basketball player to firefighter.
“No, I wouldn’t mind,” a little smile appears on your face.
“Thanks,” he says before waving goodbye and leaving your room.
Seconds later, your sister storms inside your room. She has that expression on her face that says: ‘who the hell is this guy?’.
“Who is he?” she asks while taking a seat.
She’s definitely expecting to hear something like: “he’s a guy I slept with after my breakup”, or “I met him at a bar”, or anything of that sort because it was obvious there was something going on between you. The look you both had wasn’t saying we were simply friends. It was a look screaming “something hot and sexy happened between us”.
“The guy that knocked me up sixteen years ago.”
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“Mama,” your oldest daughter, Jia says. “When are you leaving the hospital?”
An hour ago, the doctor in charge of you came to explain the extent of the situation to you. Since you now have metal wires in your knees, you’ll have to go through a long recovery, and you’ll have to follow physiotherapy to learn how to walk again.
On top of that, your intestines were stitched, and it will definitely be hard for a moment to eat and drink. So, for at least ten days, you’ll remain in observation at the hospital. There is for sure a very long recovery ahead of you, but what matters is that you’re still alive.
For what is coming, you know you can count on your family’s support, and without any doubts, seeing your babies will help you navigate the hard times. Obviously, you’re also very self-aware that sometimes, it might be too hard, and during those times, even your support system won’t be enough.
“I’ll stay for a little while, boo,” you answer.
She seems a bit sad by your answer which is totally understandable. Briefly, you take a look at Jiwoo and Jeong to see if they also look sad, and they have the exact same facial expression as their older sister.
Your ex-husband, Minkyu is also present. It’s logical since it’s his week with them, and also because you were literally in a coma. When your eyes meet, you give him a little smile. By the way he’s looking at you, he definitely seems worried.
“But you’ll see, time will go by super-fast,” you try to reassure them. “And very soon, I’ll be home with you.”
You can’t wait to go home and be with them even though for a little while, due to the recovery time, it won’t be easy at all. But you’ll be with your babies which honestly is the only thing that matters.
Your babies jump on the bed and hug you. Feeling all this love coming from the little human beings you create warms your heart beyond comprehension. Although the pain is starting to kick in, you pretend like you don’t feel anything because you want to savor this moment with them.
Jeong, your son, shows you what he drew at school for you. He takes the time to explain what it represents. It’s definitely adorable. Then, Jiwoo tells you how her day went by. She played a lot with her friends, she learned to count until 20, and her teacher told her she was an amazing learner. Her face was shining, and you couldn’t be prouder.
Your oldest daughter doesn’t speak much, letting her younger siblings talk. You then try to make her talk about her day, but she bursts into tears, hiding her face in your chest. Your heart definitely breaks while you hold her in your arms.
“What happened, boo?” you caress her back, trying to comfort her as much as you can.
She’s heavily crying, your shirt getting wet with her tears.
“My little boo-boo,” you whisper. “What’s going on?” you add. “Tell me.”
She hugs you even more which squeezes your heart. You don’t like seeing your babies like that.
“I thought you were dead, mommy,” she sniffs.
“Oooh, my boo-boo,” you really want to cry at her words. Imagining her thinking that is one thing but hearing her saying it out loud is something completely different. “I’m so sorry.” That’s all you can say.
Jiwoo and Jeong join the hug, trying in their own way to comfort their big sister. This is a heartwarming hug, and it comforts you beyond comprehension. It’s hard to see them like that, but it’ll get better with time. Minkyu joins you for what is like a family hug now. This right here is the only thing that you need.
After this uplifting moment, your ex-husband and babies leave you alone in this cold hospital room. They need to go back home; the kids need to wash, do their homework, and get ready for bed. You wish they could have stayed longer because you don’t want to stay alone.  
The pain is now unbearable, and it honestly scares you for the long recovery awaiting you. Luckily, right after your family left, a nurse came in to give you dinner together with strong painkillers.
The food is —as imagined— disgusting. There’s nothing you can do about it, but tomorrow, you’ll try to convince your sister to bring you a pizza or sushi or some fast food. There’s no way you’ll survive ten days with this horrible food.
A little later, someone knocks at the door. As promised earlier, Jungkook appears inside your room with a bright smile on his face. You return the smile as it honestly makes you happy that he’s here.
“Hi,” you say.
For a brief moment, your eyes linger on his figure. He’s no longer in his firefighter uniform;  he’s dressed in an all-black outfit that, in all honesty, suits him well. A pair of jeans, a tight shirt, and a leather jacket give him an entirely different vibe from earlier. His hair, now perfectly arranged, makes him look strikingly similar to how he did sixteen years ago.  
“Hi,” he walks closer to you.
His eyes notice the serving tray with the empty plate.
“Was it good?” he points to the empty plate.
“It definitely wasn’t,” a little laugh escapes your lips while you shake your head. “The good thing is that the dessert was a chocolate mousse.”
Jungkook’s smile grows bigger on his face.
“Your favorite dessert,” he whispers.
Now, you’re the one smiling more. When pregnant, you could eat a chocolate mousse without growing tired of it. Due to that, you gained quite some weight during your first pregnancy. Anyway, it was the least of your concerns since you knew you were about to give your son up for adoption.
“You still remember…”
“How couldn’t I?” he instantly says. “You were eating it night and day.”
You giggle as you remember it.
“You weren’t helping too,” you accuse him. “Whenever I’d ask for one, you’d make it, and you’re a good cooker.”
Jungkook was your personal chef. Whatever dish you’d ask for, he’d prepare it. His mousses were so delicious that you found yourself always craving them. The ones from the supermarket simply couldn’t compare to Jungkook’s.
“Well, for my defense, I couldn’t let a pregnant woman starve,” he puts his hands up.
It doesn’t feel like sixteen years happened since you last spoke. It’s great you found each other again. It wasn’t under great circumstances, but he’s here now.
“That was nice of you,” you gently say.
“Do you mind if I take a seat?” he points to the chair near your bed.
“No, no,” you shake your head.
Jungkook sits down before turning to you. He’s incredibly close now, allowing you to get a better look at him. He’s definitely gotten older, the wrinkles on his face can’t lie. The beginning of a beard is also easily noticeable.
“How bad does it hurt?” he seriously asks.
“Is it that obvious?” you say.
Jungkook nods. Honestly, this time around the painkillers aren’t helping much. Your entire body aches, you can’t even say which part hurts more.
“It’s pretty bad,” you answer. “Even with the painkillers now, it hurts like hell.”
“If you want, I can call a nurse,” he suggests.
“No, it’s fine,” you answer. “I’ll probably need to wait a bit more before it really takes effect.”
Jungkook doesn’t really listen to you since he leaves the room. You roll your eyes but with a big smile on your face. It’s incredible how he didn’t change after all these years. He used to never believe you when you were in pain.
A few seconds later, he comes back with a nurse. They are talking, and he’s explaining that I’m in extreme pain. He’s exaggerating a bit the reality. However, the nurse administers you a stronger painkiller and she also tells you that you shouldn’t hesitate to call her if you’re suffering. Then, she leaves. Slowly, you’re finally feeling the pain going away.
“You didn’t need to do that,” you tell him once the nurse leaves the room.
“Yes, I needed,” he instantly says. “There’s no way I was leaving you suffering unnecessarily.”
Jungkook seems definitely concerned.
“You don’t have to play the strong girl after this terrible car crash.”
He’s not wrong, but this is one of your flaws. You’ll only take a painkiller unless you don’t have much of a choice. Most of the time, you don’t take anything as you’re convinced you can handle anything.
You simply nod while Jungkook sits again on the chair. This time, you start talking about what has been going on in your lives for the past sixteen years.
Jungkook barely managed to finish his college years because he honestly had his mind somewhere else. After all, he had become a father, given his son up for adoption, and had his heart broken by the girl he always had a crush on. He didn’t mention the last part. He had tremendous regrets about how everything went down.
Right after college, he became a firefighter; a passion he randomly discovered the summer before. Saving lives, and helping others in need is what truly fulfills him. He considers his job as his own therapy even though it’s not always easy to deal with the horrific visions he might encounter.
Eight years ago, he met a French girl who had recently moved here. They fell in love and had a little boy, Noah. He’s four years old today; the same age as your youngest daughter. His eyes were filled with love when he started speaking about him. He said his boy is a mini version of his mother so he barely looks Korean. He even has blue eyes.
However, he’s no longer with her. They broke up three years ago and they aren’t really on good terms today. She already threatened to move back to France with Noah. They went through a tough legal battle for their son’s custody. It’s a shared one, and Jungkook’s parents are the intermediates between them. They pick up Noah at her place to bring him to Jungkook’s, and vice versa.  
It honestly broke your heart to hear about all that. It doesn’t seem to be an easy situation, and hearing his story makes you feel even more grateful for the good relationship you maintain with Minkyu.  
Then, you proceed to tell him about what your life has looked like for the past sixteen years.
“Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about our son,” you honestly say.
Four months ago, on the 2nd of June to be precise, your son turned sixteen. He’s the age you were when you gave birth to him. Since that day, you’ve definitely been wondering what he has become. Is he also about to become a father? You hope not.
“Well, I always think about him, but lately, it’s been more than usual,” you explain. “And I also imagine him with my other kids, and I wonder what bond they’d have.”
Jungkook only nods. “I get that,” those are his only words.
You refrain from continuing to talk about your son as it seems to affect him in some way. Maybe it’s simply too hard for him to think about that son you didn’t keep. You understand that so you prefer to stop talking. But his next words definitely catch you by surprise.
“I’ve found our son.”
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Seventeen years ago
As you step inside the pretty big basketball court, your eyes immediately look for a place to sit. There aren’t many people watching the team’s training. You place yourself in the very last row, almost as if you’re trying to hide yourself —or to hide your little secret.
Instinctively, your eyes look for Jungkook, the best basketball player. He’s the reason for your presence. Quickly, you take a look at your watch. The training should be over soon.
Your heart is beating crazily in your chest. What you have to tell him isn’t easy, especially since you don’t really know what to do. You’re actually even convinced that he’ll tell you to fuck off. Jungkook is known to be a jerk after all.
The man notices you while running in the court. His eyebrows frown, as you’re the last person he was expecting to see here. The past month has been hectic because things have been hot and cold with you. For a while already, he has been having a massive crush on you, but he’s never said anything because you’re in a relationship with Minho.
Even though he’s known to be an asshole, he never wanted to be the reason for your separation. However, last month, you had sex, and you’ve been feeling guilty since then. He can only understand you so he’s stayed away to give you the space you need. Nevertheless, you would sometimes interact and to his surprise, you’d be nice.
“Jungkook,” someone screams.
He grabs the ball that is thrown at him, and he’s focused again on the game. The end comes rapidly. Jungkook walks directly in your direction and you give him a little smile. As he gets closer, he instantly notices the sadness in your eyes. He sits down next to you with heavy breathing. His face is red, his hair is wet, and he’s all sweaty.
“Hi,” he says with a smile.
“Hi,” you reply.
Deep down, he’s kind of hoping you’re here to tell him that you’ve broken up with Minho. That’s all he’s ever wanted, especially since he slept with you.
“How are you?” he asks with evident concern.
“Not good,” you bite your lower lip, tears already forming in your eyes.
Jungkook directly pushes you into his arms to comfort you. Tears stream down your face while you hold him tight in your embrace. You hold him as if your world depends on it. Quickly, you start sobbing which breaks Jungkook’s heart. He’s definitely worried now, especially since he would have never imagined you coming to cry into his arms. He gently rubs your back in silence, letting you cry in peace.
This scene seems unreal to him.
After a little while, you take a step back to clean your face, dabbing at the tears that seem to not stop. You’re sure you look like a complete mess right now with your red eyes, face ravaged with tears, and trembling hands. Jungkook is staring at you, his gaze filled with heavy unspoken words.
“Sorry,” you mumble.
“Don’t worry,” he replies.
Jungkook tugs a strand of hair behind your ear.
“It’s not easy what I have to say,” you admit.
“It’s okay,” he gently says. “Take your time.”  
Jungkook has never been a jerk with you. He’s definitely a tease, and he’s been teasing you for months now. But he has never been mean or rude. Even though it’s been quite obvious to you that he was flirting with you all this time, he’s been nothing but respectful and never crossed the line.
But that was until you couldn’t resist him anymore.
Obviously, he’s a very handsome guy and it flattered you a lot that he was interested in you. However, you’re in a relationship with Minho. He’s been your boyfriend for a couple of months, and you adore him. But Jungkook has shaken everything up. It was obvious that one day you would surrender to temptation.
Jungkook is very good in bed, there’s no doubt about it. Your one-night stand was a memorable one, but you’ve felt nothing but guilt since then. And you also hate yourself. How could you have done that to Minho? He’s been nothing but an angel to you. You clearly don’t deserve him.
“I’m pregnant,” you admit.
Jungkook’s body freezes completely. Of all the things he was expecting to hear, this definitely wasn’t one of them. This is quite a bombshell! This will forever change your life, and he can only sympathize with you. Now, it leaves him wondering if he’s the father.
“Is it Minho’s?” he asks after a couple of seconds. “Or mine?”
“It’s yours,” you inform him.
Although this is a piece of very destabilizing news, he kind of feels proud to be the father of your child. It’s a weird feeling but the chances of him being the father are quite low since you’re in a relationship.
“You’re sure?” he asks.
“Of course, I am,” you almost sound offended. “I always use protection with Minho,” you whisper. “And if you remember correctly, we didn’t.”
“Right,” he nods.
You were so in the heat that a condom was the last thing you both thought of, but you used the pullout method. Looks like it wasn’t the brightest idea. It would have been best if you had been more careful. Now it’s too late to go back in time. Now, there’s a baby on the way.  
“I’m so scared to tell him,” you admit.
Tears start running down your face again.
“What will I become now?” you add. “My life is ruined.”
Jungkook cleans your face because he doesn’t like to see you in this state.
“Your life isn’t ruined, yn,” his thumb caresses your cheek.
“How can’t it be ruined?” you desperately say. “I’m pregnant; I'll give birth in less than nine months. My life will all be about that baby, I’ll have to drop school, and I’ll have to be a parent when I’m still a kid.”
The man in front of you can only understand your despair. His life will also drastically change from now on. Most probably, he’ll also need to give up on his dream college to work and provide for this baby.
“I’m here, and we will find a solution,” he whispers. “You’re not alone.”
You shake your head. There’s no way you’ll find a solution. It is simple: there’s a baby on the way, and outside that, there’s the whole situation where you cheated on your boyfriend.
“And Minho will be completely heartbroken,” you start crying even more. “Out of all people, he’s the one that doesn’t deserve that!”
Jungkook doesn’t know what to say. For sure, it isn’t great to cheat on your partner, but he knows he’s very much capable of doing it without having any remorse. He’s perfectly aware that he isn’t the greatest guy on earth when it comes to love. Even though he has a crush on you, he isn’t convinced he’d be the right one for you.
“My life is destroyed,” you repeat once more.
The basketball player pulls you once again in his embrace. His strong arms are comforting, and you realize now that you did great by coming to talk to him.
“We’ll find a solution,” he whispers in your ear.
Little did you know at that moment that he was right. A week later, you both agreed to give your son up for adoption. It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was the best one. You could feel it inside your bones.
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From your room’s window, you admire the landscape that stretches before your eyes. The view isn’t the prettiest but at least, it’s something different than the tv. For the past three days, you could only be lying and sitting on your bed. It’s been horrible.
Jungkook has been coming every day to check up on you, and you’ve been talking a lot. It’s honestly so great to reunite again and to finally discover what he has become for the past years.
Your sister has been very curious about your reunion with the father of your firstborn. She also asked if Minkyu ever knew about him. You never hid from your ex-husband the existence of your first child, but you never told him who the father was. There was no need to do so.  
Your sister informed your parents who saved you, and they already saw him again. They really liked him when you were pregnant, so they were very happy to meet him again.
Jungkook didn’t tell them that he found your firstborn, and you’re grateful he didn’t because you don’t even know what to do. You asked him to give you some time to process the information. He’s been nothing but respectful.
This morning, you started walking for the first time since the surgery. It was beyond painful to even move one leg, but you bear with the pain of walking a little bit. Since the first day, you’ve been having physiotherapy sessions to help with the recovery. At first, the sessions only consisted of moving your legs while remaining in bed. Now, you get to walk a bit.
The physiotherapist handed you a cane today. It’s incredibly glamorous!
The good side is that you can now move from the bed to the chair more easily. You obviously still need a lot of help, but it gives you a bit more freedom.
Slowly, you try to stand up as you need to go to the bathroom. Right there, someone knocks at the door before entering. You expect to see the nurse since you call for her, but you’re surprised to see Jungkook. As he notices you struggling to get up, he rushes to help you out.
“Shouldn’t you be asking for the nurse to help you?” he asks.
“The nurse should be coming,” you reply.
“Is it okay if I place my hands on your waist?” you shake your head.
His hands instantly reach your waist, holding you firmly while you stand up with shaky legs. Feeling his presence around you reassures you, especially with his strong arms holding you. Your eyes quickly glance at him when you’re proudly standing up, and he looks incredibly hot with his red cheeks and messy hair.
At this precise moment, you feel like your teenage self, who was deeply attracted to him. The version of yourself who had deeply fallen in love with him when you were pregnant. That nostalgic feeling kind of warms your heart.
“I’m happy to see you finally out of that bed,” a smile spreads on his face when your eyes meet.
His stare is softer now, and it’s evident that he truly means what he just said.
“Me too,” you admit. “Couldn’t stand being on that bed anymore,” you laugh a little. “It’s been driving me crazy.”  
The nurse finally arrives, but she instantly leaves as you inform her that Jungkook is helping you.
At a very slow pace, you start walking in the bathroom’s direction. Jungkook stands next to you, his hands very close to you, ready to catch you any minute.
“I’ve been thinking,” you start saying as you put your right foot in front of the other.  
“About?” he asks.
It’s extremely frustrating to be walking as fast as a turtle, but there’s not much you can do right now.  You have brand-new knees, so you need to learn to walk with them, which will take some time. Plus, you also need to adjust to the pain these new knees cause.
“About our baby,” you answer.
Jungkook is taken a bit aback; he wasn’t expecting you to bring the topic up this early.
“About Sunny,” you add.
Sunny is the nickname you gave to your son. Neither you nor Jungkook wanted to give him a name, as you knew it’d be too heartbreaking to let him go. The nickname came naturally, and it gave your son a human dimension. When you were pregnant, it almost didn’t feel real that there was a human inside you since you couldn’t see him.
A little smile appears on his face as he remembers how you used to call your firstborn.
“I’d like to hear the story of how you found him.”
For the past sixteen years, you’ve dreamed of meeting your son one day, but it was just a dream. You never thought that it’d actually happen. Obviously, you could have done everything in your power to find him, but that wouldn’t be fair to him. However, you’re now curious to hear how Jungkook found him.
“Well, maybe you should go first to the bathroom because there’s a lot to be said,” you simply nod.
Jungkook is wearing his firefighter uniform, and it suits him incredibly well. It definitely shows off his toned chest which could satisfy any hungry eyes, like yours, for example. Any lady would like to be saved by him.
Once you arrive at the bathroom, he waits outside for you. It takes you a bit of time to pee, wash your hands, and leave the room. It’s painful too, and all you hope for is to go through this terrible phase as fast as possible.
The firefighter helps you to sit on the chair, and his kindness warms your heart. No doubt that he makes a great life savior.
“So, tell me about Sunny,” you say the second you’re comfortably sitting.
Jungkook takes another chair to face you, and he rests his arms on the little table placed in between you.
“I found him to same way I found you,” he looks down at his hands with a little smile on his face. “I was called for a fire in a building complex almost two years ago,” he starts explaining. “It was early in the morning, something like 6 am, and it was a pretty big fire. There was a fourteen-year-old lying on the floor, coughing like crazy so I naturally took him out of the building.”
Jungkook takes a little break, his eyes going from his hands to your eyes. His stare is intense; it unsettles you at first.
“Once outside, I almost felt like I was looking at you and myself at the same time,” his voice is soft. “And one of my colleagues even said that the kid oddly resembled me.”  
You can’t imagine how it must have felt for him.
“I instantly knew it was Sunny, but I kind of didn’t want to believe it,” his eyes clearly show how sad he feels. “If it wasn’t him, it would have broken me. I was already going through shit with my ex, so it wasn’t an easy time for me at that time.”
It’s visibly not easy for him to be talking about the situation with his ex-girlfriend.
“A couple of days later, he appeared at the station with his mother to thank me for saving him. In the daylight, it was more than obvious we shared DNA. Even a blind person could see the striking resemblance, but nobody said a word as if we were all scared to say the truth.”
“That must have been an unbelievable moment,” you whisper.
“It definitely was,” he chuckles. “But looking back now, it’s almost funny. I still remember how shocked his mother was when she first saw me. Sunny looked confused, but his mother’s reaction was extremely funny.”
It eases your heart to know that he looks back at that moment with delight.
“The day after, she came back but alone this time because she wanted to talk to me.”
His right hand grabs one of your fingers to play with it, causing your heart to hammer crazily in your chest. Jungkook is incredibly nervous to be talking about those moments, and he needs to look at something else than you.   
“As you can imagine, she asked me if I was his biological father, and all I could tell her was that I wasn’t sure. I then proceeded to tell her that I had a son at seventeen and that we gave him up for adoption. She naturally asked me when he was born, and then, there weren’t any doubts anymore. He was undoubtedly Sunny,” a smile full of pride appears on his face. “I’ve been in contact with him since then, but I don’t force anything. I’m just happy to see him.”
For a moment, you look at him with wonder. This man is evidently happy to have found his firstborn and to be able to be part of his life. Jungkook didn’t really want to give his son up for adoption, and you knew it. For a long time, you considered changing your mind because it was obvious that he wanted to be a father. Even though you were in love with him, adoption wasn’t about you or him. It was about Sunny.
That baby boy deserved to have a good life. Not a chaotic one where you regretted having him because he was the impersonation of your sin, or because he destroyed your life as you became a teen mom. You weren’t able to give him what he needed, and it was the best decision to have a family giving him what you couldn’t.
“What’s his name?” you ask.
Right now, you don’t know if you ever want to meet your son. It already brings you so much joy to know he found his biological father. But you’re also wondering what his name is. He has always been ‘Sunny’ to you.
“Taemoo,” he answers.
That’s a pretty name. His parents found the perfect name for that little boy.
“It’s beautiful,” you say.
“Not as pretty as Sunny,” he jokingly says.
Your fingers wrap around his right hand. This is a vulnerable moment for both of you. It brings you back to a past where you were confronted with a harsh reality. Nothing was easy back then. You were ripped between your hearts and minds. The heart wanted to keep Sunny, but the mind was being realistic.
The tears shed from the day you had to give him up still haunt you to this day. The heartbreak painted all over Jungkook’s face never leaves your mind. That day was the hardest day of your entire life; it ripped your heart open.
“Do you think there was a possibility we could have kept him?” you ask with a shaky voice.
His eyes look up at you.
“Maybe,” he frankly answers. “If we weren’t that young and stupid, we could have been the parents he needed.”
“I definitely was stupid,” you shake your head.
“You weren’t,” he says without any hesitation. “You made a mistake, but that doesn’t make you stupid.”
“Say that to Minho,” you retort.
Jungkook giggles.
“I would never approach him, even now,” that makes you smile. “My face still hurts from his punch.”
After the pregnancy announcement to your ex-boyfriend, it was pure chaos. Minho went completely out of control due to his heartbreak. Obviously, he insisted on knowing who the father was, but you never flinched. Nonetheless, he instantly understood that it was Jungkook. He had noticed how he was constantly teasing you.   
So, the first thing he did was punch Jungkook in the face. The basketball player didn’t even fight back as he believed he deserved it. After all, he slept with a taken woman with absolutely no regrets.
Minho got even angrier because he wanted the player to respond. He was devastated by what happened, and you could only understand him. The day after, he went to another high school, and you never heard from him anymore.
“To be honest, yn,” he starts saying. “Back then, there wasn’t a possibility to keep him. My soul wanted to keep him, but it was for selfish reasons. I wanted to be a father but couldn’t be one back then. There isn’t a day where I don’t feel grateful for the tough decision you took and stand for. It would have been a complete disaster.”
His hand squeezes yours, and just right there, with his words and touch, you just burst into tears. Those tears just came by total surprise, but deep down, those are the tears you’ve been holding back for sixteen years. Hearing about your son and remembering the harsh moments you faced when he was inside you caused reality to hit you right in the face.
Jungkook instantly pushes the table aside to hold you in his embrace. You place your face on the crook of his neck while your arms wrap around him. It feels like you’re brought back to seventeen years ago when you announced your pregnancy.
“I’m so sorry,” you whisper.
“Don’t be sorry,” he responds. “You’re going through a lot now.”
There are some words Jungkook is dying to tell you, but it’s definitely not the appropriate moment. This is already shaking you up, so no need to add an extra layer.
Taemoo would like to meet you; it’s been actually one of his dreams. Jungkook has already told him a million things about you, and your son has been beyond happy to hear all those things about you. He also got to see a picture of you when you were sixteen.
So Jungkook definitely wants to tell you that Taemoo would like to meet you, but he doesn’t know if this is the right time, especially since he doesn’t know how you’ll react.
“Sometimes I regret so much that I gave him up,” you honestly say. “Sometimes it’s just unbearable to remember the day I handed him over to the adoption center.”
His strong hands caress your back in an attempt to comfort you.
“It’s normal,” he whispers. “I do too,” he admits. “There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about his birth and when we said our last goodbyes to him.”
You hold him tightly, his strong arms comforting you in an unbelievable way. You don’t want to let go of him. All you want is to cry in his arms until there aren’t any tears left.
“We did well, yn,” he tells you. “Sunny has been having a wonderful life. A life that we could have never given him,” he tries to reassure you. “His parents love him so much, allowed him to follow his dreams, and gave him everything he ever needed.”
As he got to meet Taemoo and his adoptive parents, he can reassure you now.
“They are adorable people,” he adds. “And they’ve been taking good care of our Sunny.”
Jungkook spent most of his life wondering if good people adopted his son, and he would have hated himself if it wasn’t the case. But when he got to meet Taemoo’s parents, he saw how great they were. And above anything, he saw how great they raised him. Taemoo is a wonderful kid with a wonderful soul.
Hearing those words definitely reassures you. It comforts you that Sunny has been doing well and landed in a loving family. At the end of the day, that’s all you ever wanted for your baby.
“Thanks,” you whisper.
The firefighter smiles while holding you a bit tighter. For a little while, you stay like this without saying a word. Reuniting with Jungkook is the best thing that happens in the midst of all the chaos your life has become. It also allows you to think about something else other than the excruciating pain you constantly feel.  
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A nurse enters your room while you’re reading one of the many books you’ve had left to read for the past years.
“There is a young man who says he’s your son. Should I let him in?”
You frown in confusion, momentarily wondering if your son has been mistaken for someone else. Nevertheless, you nod.
“Yes, please,” you say, placing your book aside and grabbing your cane to keep it close, just in case.
A soft knock sounds at the door before it opens, revealing a tall, nervous teenager. Your heart stops as you take in his face. It isn’t Jeong—but your oldest son.
As Jungkook described him a week ago, Taemoo definitely looks like the two of you. Nevertheless, his resemblance with his biological father is surprising. There is absolutely no doubt that he is Jungkook’s son. You understand now his mother’s reaction when she saw the firefighter.
“Hello,” he says, his voice tentative, holding a bouquet of bright sunflowers.
His hands tremble slightly as he steps inside. As you look a bit more at him, you can’t help but notice that he’s dressed thoughtfully, a gesture that tugs at your heart.  
This moment feels absolutely unreal. Merely days ago you found out about his name, and today he’s standing in front of you.
“I am Taemoo,” he continues.
As you look at this not-so-little man, you wonder what you could say to him, but you have no clue.
“Hello Taemoo,” you manage, your voice soft and unsteady. “Come in,” you add.
Taemoo—or Sunny as you’ve been affectingly calling him for the past sixteen years—comes closer with some hesitation. He’s clutching the flowers like a shield. Despite the nerves, there’s a quiet strength about him.
“I don’t have much to offer, but I have water, cookies, biscuits, and hot chocolate. Would you want something?” you propose.
“No, thanks,” he gives you a little smile.
“Please take a seat,” you offer while showing the chair next to yours.
For a little moment, he hesitates before sitting next to you. Your heart is hammering in your chest, ready to burst any second. The little man you gave birth to sixteen years ago is now standing before you. The same boy you gave up for adoption merely three days after his birth.
“Sorry, I didn’t properly introduce myself,” he mumbles.
As much as you want to tell him that he doesn’t need to, you need to hear him say it out loud.
“I am Taemoo, your son,” he says.
“Hello, Taemoo,” you gently say. “It’s a pleasure to meet you again.”
Tears start running down your face as you look at him. Sixteen years ago, you were holding him in your arms while your heart was completely ripped out. You were looking down at him knowing you’d have to say goodbye.
“I… I brought you these,” he shows the bouquet in his hands.
Your chest tightens as you take the flowers. “Thank you,” you say, your voice thick with emotion. “They’re beautiful—sunflowers are my favorite.”
“I know,” he murmurs, glancing at the floor. “Mr. Jeon told me.”
Your heart melts; this boy definitely seems to have a big heart. More silent tears run down your face while you look down again at the flowers.
“I have to ask,” you say after a little while. “How did you find me?”
You try to clean your face to compose yourself.
“I was in the hospital for a checkup, and I noticed Mr. Jeon at the front desk asking about you,” he explains. “I also know your name because he gave it to me when we met,” he adds.
You nod slowly, absorbing his words. It kind of warms your heart that Jungkook talked about you to Taemoo, but it aches your heart that this is how he got to meet you. You would have largely preferred you had organized this reunion.
“I’m glad you came.”
Your firstborn shifts nervously in his chair. “I wasn’t sure if I should,” he admits. “I didn’t know if you ever wanted to see me.”
It breaks your heart to hear those words as you picture him worried to come. There’s no doubt that it’s brave of him to come here. He could have stumbled upon a mother who didn’t want to see him; he was for sure aware of it.
“Taemoo,” you start saying. “You have every right to be here,” your voice slightly trembles. “I’ve spent the last sixteen years wondering how it’d be to see you again.”
But you also wondered if it was a good idea to even look for him. You never wanted to shake his world up, especially after giving him up for adoption.
“I don’t want to bother you,” he says. “I just…” he’s quite hesitating to continue his sentence, and you nod, silently encouraging him to proceed with what he has in mind. “I just needed to see you.”
“You’re not bothering me at all,” you reassure him instantly.
For a moment, silence falls between you, heavy with unspoken emotions. You don’t add anything else as you let him take the lead. He’s the one who was brave enough to come so you want him to say everything his heart desires.
“I have questions,” he finally speaks. “About why. Why gave me up for adoption.”
You swallow hard, the lump in your throat growing.
“Jungkook never told you why?” you question.
“Yes, he did but he never spoke on your behalf. He only gave his reasons.”
This is the Jungkook that you know, and it is very fond of him.
“I couldn’t be a mother,” your voice trembles. “I desired nothing more than to be a mother for you, but I couldn’t give you what you needed. I wanted you to have a life I couldn’t give you at the time.”
It’s hard to tell him why you abandoned him. You’re not even sure he can understand your reasons.
“I was just a girl when I had you; I was your age. I was so scared, but I thought only about your future. You deserved to have a good life, to have parents who would give you everything you needed. In my mind, the best thing for you was to give you up for adoption.”
There’s also the part where you cheated on your boyfriend, but that’s something he doesn’t need to know.
His expression is unreadable, but you notice his hands unclenching. This might be a good sign.
“Did you regret it?” his voice is barely above a whisper.
“Every single day,” you confess. You’re unable to stop the tears now. “The day I handed you over was the hardest day of my life. I’ve spent the last sixteen years wondering what you’ve become, but I was too afraid to find you,” you feel extremely vulnerable in front of your son. “I thought you’d hate me.”
Taemoo looks away, staring at the floor while he processes your words. It isn’t easy for him to be here and to know the truth. Jungkook said the same time. He was too young to be a father; he was a total idiot back then, and he tried to give his son the best life he could.
“I don’t hate you,” he softly says, and relief washes over you. “I never hated you because I had a good life, but I’ve spent my whole life wondering if I would have had as well a good life with my biological parents.”
You’re convinced it wouldn’t have been the case.
“Thanks for answering my questions,” he gently says.
Another silence settles between you, but less tense this time.
“Mr. Jeon…” he hesitantly says. “He told me you like books,” he says, changing the subject.
At this stage, you’re wondering what Jungkook hasn’t said about you. First, there are the flowers; now, it’s the books.
“What are you reading?”
You’re grateful he swifts the topic of conversation. It was heavy to be talking to him about your painful past. Smiling, you reach for the book on the bed, and show it to Taemoo.  
“It’s one of the books I bought years ago but never read,” he takes the book to look at it.
“I like books too,” he admits while looking at the book. “Mostly history, and fantasy too.”
Your heart warms as he gives you a small glimpse into his life.
“I’d love to know what you’re reading,” you say. “Maybe you could recommend me something?” you’re hesitant.
“Sure,” he straightaway answers. “Maybe next time.”
“Next time,” you murmur while holding onto those words like a lifeline.
Taemoo gives you a small smile. Slowly, you reach for his hand, and for a brief moment, he freezes, then lets you hold it.
“Thanks, Taemoo,” your voice is filled with emotions.
He nods with still that small smile on his face. “If you don’t mind, we could exchange numbers?” he asks with hesitation.
“Yes, of course,” you smile at him, giving his hand a small squeeze.
Your phone is on the other side of the bed, so you slowly try to get up with your glamorous cane. Taemoo stands up without any second thoughts to help you out. He’s already as tall as Jungkook; you don’t doubt he’ll be taller than him. You walk very slowly, and your son doesn’t leave your side in case you need him.
Once you’ve reached your phone, you unlock it to give it to him. “You can type your number and save it,” you say.
Taemoo freezes when he notices your background. There are three kids, and he realizes how much they resemble him. Even though he looks a lot like Jungkook, he also takes a lot after you.
“Are those my siblings?” he asks when he glances at you.
“Yes,” you answer. “I had three other kids years after you.”
“They look adorable,” he tells you before proceeding to save his number on your phone.
He calls himself, so he can also have your number. After that, he helps you to sit again on the chair before leaving the room.  The room suddenly feels empty as Taemoo leaves you alone with the flowers and the overwhelming realization that your son—the boy you thought you’d lost forever—is finally back in your life.
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Today, Jungkook took a day off because he’s going out with you.
It’s not really a date —at least, that's what you’re both trying to convince yourselves. It’s been like a week that you’re out of the hospital, and he promised he’d take you on a car ride. Even though you walk better than you did some days ago, you’re still very slow. However, it doesn’t change the fact that you want to go out a bit.
For the past few days, you’ve both spent a lot of time together. It’s been great to be around you again. Things are very different now because you’re both grown-ups with kids, and there’s a lifetime that happened since you last saw each other. But he still feels the same around you. He still has that massive crush on you.
Honestly, he thought that with time, it’d fade away, but he was wrong. He understood it the second he pulled you out of that car. Being around you brings him peace. He feels like he doesn’t have to play a role; he simply can be himself.
“Where are we going?” you ask.
“Somewhere,” he quickly eyes you before focusing on the road again.
Sixteen years ago, he knew he could never have you because of the circumstances. It was obvious to him that you loved him back, but it simply wasn’t possible. However, today, things are different. He still has a crush on you, and he will do everything in his power to not let you go.
“You’ll like it,” he smiles at you.
You look at him with suspicion.
“Let’s see,” you mumble.
Since you’ve been discharged from the hospital, Jungkook has been kind of scared to put you back in a car. So, for this day out, he asked you a million times if you’d be okay. You reassured him because it didn’t really frighten you.
Your baby daddy has been thoughtfully thinking about the place he could take you to. There are for sure hundreds of places, but he wants something special. However, above anything else, he wants to distract you.
He has noticed how you sometimes contort with pain. Definitely, you try to hide it but he can see it through your eyes. Most of the time, he feels sorry to see you in that state. It doesn’t look great at all. Nonetheless, he’s been trying to help.
Taemoo has also passed by once or twice at your parents’ place. Jungkook has never been present because he wants you two to get to know each other without him being in the middle. He definitely wishes the three of you to be reunited, but let’s take this step by step. It’s difficult for everyone.
“How has it been going to come back home?” he asks.
“Not easy…” you admit. “The kids struggle to not be staying at my place, even myself.”
Unfortunately, you can’t stay alone since anything can happen and you need help. So you’re staying at your parent’s place. You’re sleeping in your old bedroom that has since been transformed into a kid’s room for your babies. Your old bed is still there, but it doesn’t feel like your actual bed.
“They cry when they have to leave with their father. They really want to stay at my parents’ place with me, but it’s already very crowded.”
Your sister still lives with your parents, she’s only 22; she’s still very young. Well, she refuses to let you call her young because, at 22, you were getting married to Minkyu.
“They understand the situation, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s hard for them.”
Jungkook nods as he can only imagine how this situation feels for everybody. Hopefully, things will slowly get better, and you’ll be able to recover quickly.
“I don’t like to complain, but it’s already physically hard, so seeing them like that makes it harder,” you admit.
It leaves you wondering if it will be like that until the end of your recovery.
“Then, it’s a good thing I take you out for a little bit today,” he smiles, trying to change the conversation.
“It is,” you smile at him.
It’s warming your heart that he has been very present for almost a month. There hasn’t been a day where he didn’t visit you, even if it was for five minutes. You feel lucky to have him during this tough time; he’s been quite a comforting and reassuring presence.
After maybe half an hour, you reach a parking lot from a park located on a high hill. It’s a park you and Jungkook terribly loved. You’d come here towards the end of the pregnancy when you couldn’t sleep.
“So, what do you think?”
“I like this place,” a bright smile grows on your face.
“I know,” he says.
This is definitely very thoughtful of him.
Jungkook leaves the car to help you get out of it. As you think you are going to walk for a bit, the man just holds you in his arms, one of his arms under your back, and the other under your legs. You instantly wrap your hands around his neck. Your faces are pretty close, and all thoughts are shut down by the irresistible desire to kiss him.
“Since there’s a lot to walk before reaching our spot, it’s better if I bring you there,” he confesses.
“Always trying to play the superhero,” you mumble.
“Eeh, I’m not,” he straight away answers. “I’m just trying to make your life easier.”
You roll your eyes while giggling.
“I can let you walk if you prefer but don’t blame it on me afterward,” he says while slowly pretending to put you down.
“Okay, okay,” you retreat in defeat. “Take me there.”
A smile grows on his face before he starts walking in the direction of your spot. It’s a bench where you have the perfect view of the city. At night, it’s wonderful as the buildings are lightening up. You spent many nights here sixteen years ago with your head on his shoulder, and your hand on your belly. Sunny would kick quite a lot during those moments, and Jungkook’s hand would rest on your bump to feel his son.
You were young and stupid, but definitely in love at that moment. A month before your son’s birth, you shared a passionate kiss on that bench. It was a highly desired one. You shared other kisses afterward but they never felt like that first one.
Surprisingly, when you reach the famous bench, nobody is sitting there. Usually, back in the day, that bench was always occupied during the day, only being empty at night.
“It almost feels like you booked the bench,” you chuckle.
“I could of,” he answers. “But I don’t have the means.”
Jungkook sits you down on the bench before taking a seat next to you. Gently, he grabs your legs to place them on top of his. He’s aware of how painful it can be for you to have your knees bent. At least like that, they are almost flat.
“Thanks for bringing me here,” your eyes look at the handsome firefighter instead of the pretty view.
The man only offers you a gentle smile, and the two of you now look at the city stretching before your eyes. It is very different than it was sixteen years ago. The city has grown bigger, some buildings were replaced by others or some even were destroyed. Everything is different while still being the same. Like how it feels to be around Jungkook.  
“Can I ask you a question?” Jungkook breaks the silence between you.
Your eyes look back at him, and his expression is unreadable.
“Sure,” you nod.
“Would you have given us a shot if you hadn’t gotten pregnant?” he asks with some sort of hesitation.
The questions catches you by surprise as it is the last thing you thought he’d ever ask.
“To be honest, I don’t know,” you say. “I was feeling so guilty about what I did to Minho, I felt stupid, and I was avoiding you.”
Well, he felt that.
“I avoided you because I really adored what happened with you,” you say. “You were really good in bed,” he smiles at your words. “But I looked at you differently because I got pregnant.”
Sixteen years ago, you never had a conversation about your feelings for him. But it definitely looks like you’re having it now.
“You were by my side every second. You’d cook whatever I was craving, you’d be at every appointment, you’d hold me when I cried, you’d do anything when I was in pain, and you’d bring me here when I couldn’t sleep.”
Your heart is beating fast as you’re about to pronounce the next words.
“I fell in love with that Jungkook,” the firefighter’s heart is also hammering in his chest. “Not with the jerk who’d flirt with me.”
His cheeks are getting red with shyness. After all these years, and even though he knew his feelings were reciprocated, he feels like a teenager falling in love for the first time.
“We were two when we conceived Sunny, so I naturally had to get my shit together and be by your side and help you as much as I could,” he says. “I was for sure a jerk back then, but I’d always assume the consequences of my actions.”
His heart is hammering faster as he takes his courage to speak out loud about how he has been feeling about you. 
“I also had a crush on you so I also saw that as a way to spend more time with you,” now you’re the one blushing.
Anyone observing this scene from outside would instantly get how smitten you are. The person would even bet that you’re together.
“Do you still have a crush on me?” you question.
You’re way too curious, but you definitely want to know because damn, you’d kiss that man right now.
Jungkook gets closer to your face, his hands moving to your thighs to caress them. Not in a sensual way.
“What would happen if I say yes?” he whispers when his face is extremely close to yours.
“You’ll have to find out,” you teasingly say.
His eyes move from your eyes to your lips as he desires nothing but the same as you. To kiss you.    
“Yes,” he says without any hesitation. “I still have a crush on you.”
You bite your lower lip before breaking the small space between you to fervently kiss him. Having his lips finally against yours feels like a relief, almost as if you’ve been waiting sixteen years to feel them again.
The kiss is shy at first as if you’re both scared but it slowly turns into a desperate and fervent one. One of his hands goes to the back of your neck while the other remains on your thigh. Your hands cup his face while you intensely kiss each other. 
This feels like heaven for you two. You open your mouth, giving him free access to it. His tongue doesn’t hesitate one second to find yours. Gently, your tongues meet and it feels wonderful. Inside of your lower belly, thousands of butterflies are freed. Never have you thought that this would happen again although you’ve thought about it since reuniting with him.
When you’re both out of breath, you break the kiss and rest your forehead against his. For a moment, you simply look at each other while you catch your breath. Jungkook’s fingers softly caress your face, and you close your eyes to savor this moment. 
“I’ve dreamed of this since I found you again,” he admits.
Jungkook presses once more his mouth against yours. A soft moan leaves his mouth when your lips meet. He wants to keep doing this forever. He teasingly bites your lower lip which causes a moan to escape your mouth. A devious smirk appears on his face but he gets back to kissing you fervently.
Before the kiss takes a very dirty turn, you break it. “It isn’t the appropriate place for that,” you whisper.
He giggles as he realizes he was ready to take it to the next level in a public place. The firefighter presses a gentle kiss on your lips before you resume to admire the view.
After a couple of hours, he takes you back to your parents’ house. Your mind is filled with euphoria from the kisses you shared earlier, and you can’t help but smile every time you think about it. Kissing Jungkook still feels the same. It still tastes like heaven.  
When you’re home, you notice nobody’s here which is a bit weird, especially since you warned your parents you’ll take a shower today. Maybe they went for a walk since you were with Jungkook.
“Would you mind staying a bit?” you ask. “I need to take a shower, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable alone.”
“Yeah, no problem,” he says.
Jungkook assists you until you reach the bathroom and grabs underwear, a bra, pants, and a shirt from your bedroom.
“You’re sure you’ll be able to be by yourself?” he asks with concern.
“I have a stool and everything I need has been placed at the stool level,” you explain. “So don’t worry.”
Jungkook can’t help but feel worried. Even if it’d be weird to be in the bathroom with you, he’d feel reassured.
“If I need anything, I’ll call you,” you add.
There’s not much he can do, except to leave you alone.
“Okay,” he presses a gentle kiss on your lips before leaving.
You sit on the stool to get undressed. To remove your shirt and bra, it’s quite easy, but to take off your pants and panties, it’s a whole other story. Your mother has been helping you a lot with the shower part, and you’ve been feeling like a five-year-old who can’t do much by herself.
The last two showers, you’ve been able to do everything by yourself, and you’ve been very proud of yourself. However, right now, you’re struggling a lot. It’s frustrating you beyond comprehension, but you remind yourself that you need to calm down otherwise, it’ll only be worse.
After a little while, you simply resign and call for Jungkook. He arrives in a rush, and his heart breaks a little when he sees your defeated face.
“Struggling?” he asks when he notices your pants stuck at your knees level.
“I can’t push them further than that,” you pout.
He walks in your direction, kneeling before you. “Let me help you.”
His hands carefully push your pants down and throw them onto the floor. Then, before even touching your panties, his eyes look up at you, asking for your consent. Even though you called him for help, he wouldn’t want to cross any line. Consent is important, after all.
You simply nod, you don’t have much of a choice here. His fingers brush against the skin of your hips, causing goosebumps all over your body. Last time he touched you there was the day you conceived Taemoo, sixteen years ago. Your eyes are frozen on him.
Jungkook grabs the hem of your panties to push them down your legs, his fingers brushing against your hot skin. You’re now fully naked in front of him, and it feels incredibly weird although he already saw you like this. But at the same time, it feels reassuring to have him here with you.
“Do you want me to help you wash? Or would you be fine now?” he asks while standing up.
“Help me please,” you almost beg. “Not sure I’ll be able to wash if I can’t even remove my clothes,” you laugh a bit.
You try not to cry at this whole situation. It’s better to laugh at it than cry.
“Okay,” he turns the water on. “You’re going to wash your hair?”
“No, no,” you answer. “Just my body.”
The man in front of you nods and hands you the showerhead.
“Let me know when it is too hot,” he tells you.
You’re holding the showerhead with one hand while the other is below to check the water temperature. In the meantime, Jungkook removes his socks in order for him to get inside the shower.
Once done, his eyes look at you with admiration. For almost a month, you’ve been going through hell with everything that has been going on. You’ve been handling things like a champion even though it’s sometimes very clear you’re suffering terribly. He has nothing but admiration for you.
His heart swells with happiness because, in the midst of all that, you chose to let him be by your side. He even got to kiss you.
“It’s good now,” you tell him with a smile.  
Jungkook grabs the showerhead to run it over your body. He carefully executes the task while being extremely focused on not forgetting any body parts of yours.
“With my mum, we always do the intimate parts at the end,” you inform him.
“No problem,” he answers.
Once your body has been fully covered in water, he seizes the shower gel.
“Do you want to do it?” he asks with the gel in his hands.
Usually, with your mum, you do it, but with Jungkook, you’ll gladly let him do it. You really want to feel his fingers touch your body. 
“Could you please do it?” he nods.
Jungkook understands that you simply want to feel his touch, and he won’t complain as he desires nothing but to touch your soft skin.
There is nothing sexual about this moment. The two of you would even say that it’s a very intimate moment, even more intimate than sex.
The man covers your entire body with soap before holding back the showerhead to clean you. Once done, you stand up so you can clean your last body parts, which are your vagina and ass. This time around, you want to do it yourself as you feel like it could take a naughty turn if he touches you down there.
Jungkook leaves the shower. “Where are the towels?”
“In the storage cabinet below the sink,” you inform him.
Seconds later, when you cut the water, he wraps you in the towel before you sit back again on the stool.
“Thanks for your help,” you say.
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As you slowly wake up, you feel a warm presence behind you which is something not normal. Since you’ve been back from the hospital, you’ve been sleeping alone in your old bed.
Then, you start remembering what happened yesterday. After the shower, your parents arrived and were very delighted to see Jungkook. A bit later, your sister came from work. Your parents naturally invited him to stay for dinner.
Once dinner was over, you practically begged him to stay the night. You then went to your room, and watched “Enola Holmes 2”, but you instantly fell asleep with your body pressed against his, your head against his chest.  His heartbeat was the little melody that rocked you to sleep.
Your eyes adjust to the light in which the room is immersed. You turn around to see Jungkook sleeping like a baby, and he looks absolutely adorable.
In this quite big bed, it seems like he’s so far away from you as he isn’t close to you. There’s a distance between the two of you that makes you smile; you know he purposely put that distance. He respects you way too much, and he wouldn’t do anything to make you feel uncomfortable. 
You turn again before closing your eyes to remember what happened yesterday. It was an intense day, but intense in a good way. As you remember the kisses you shared, you run your fingers over your lips. He still kisses like a god.  
Yesterday, you felt so much alive. You didn’t feel that way for already a couple of years. Hopefully, this is a feeling that’ll stay longer. You don’t want it to fade away so soon.   
Suddenly, the bed moves behind you. A big hand carefully wraps around your waist while a mouth presses a gentle kiss on your shoulder, and a body snuggles up against yours. Instantly, your eyes close to savor this precise moment. 
Both of you snuggle together for a little while, just enjoying the closeness of your bodies together. Waking up with someone and with his arms wrapped around you is something you haven’t experienced in a while. The last time it happened was when you were still married to Minkyu.
“Good morning, sunshine,” he whispers with his hoarse morning voice before pressing a sweet kiss on your neck. 
Goosebumps rise all over your skin because this is a beautiful way to wake up. Damn, you wouldn’t mind waking up every day to this.
Jungkook feels your shivers beneath his hand, a smirk growing on his face. It feels like a victory to have already made you feel this good so early in the morning.  
“Morning, Jungkook,” you whisper. 
Naturally, your back arches, pushing your ass back to meet his crotch which makes him groan against your skin. Your cheeks instantly turn red and you push your ass away from his intimate parts.
“Sorry,” you say.
Jungkook also feels a bit embarrassed that his little friend down there is already all turned on. But what can he say, he spent the night with the girl of his dreams.
“I’m the one who’s sorry,” he whispers. “I’m already all turned on.”
Since you’re still flustered, you don’t dare to turn to look at him. He’s also grateful for that; he would hide his face in the pillow if you ever look at him.
“It’s not a bad thing,” you say. “I mean, it’s normal.”
“I know, but it’s awkward for both of us,” he answers.
For a moment, you don’t say anything as you try to find your words.
“I’m actually flattered,” you break the silence. “Wasn’t expecting to turn someone on this early in the morning.”
Jungkook gets closer to you once more, his hard member pressing against your ass through his underwear. That feeling alone causes your walls to clench around emptiness. You also bite your lower lip to repress any moan that might escape your mouth. You’re at your parents’ house, anyone could hear you.
His arms wrap around your waist once more before he presses another kiss on your neck. A very soft moan manages to escape, causing Jungkook to feel some kind of pride. His fingers slip beneath your shirt to caress every part of your body with his cold fingers.
Your back arches at the sensation while one of your hands goes to his head, your fingers running through his hair. Your other hand goes to your mouth to muffle the sounds of your moans. You don’t know exactly what time it is, so you’re not sure if there’s somebody at the house. To be safe, it’s better not to moan like a mess.
Then, his fingers move down on your body, pushing your pajamas’ pants and underwear together. The cold air that brushes against your core makes you grow wetter. Thank god you have your hand in your mouth because there’s no doubt this would have made you moan.
His fingers slowly get closer and closer to your bundle of nerves. By the time his fingers reach your clit, you’re already completely soaked. 
“Someone else is already all turned on,” he whispers in your ear before licking and nibbling it. “Tell me what you want, sunshine.” 
The simple fact that he asks what you want is a big turn-on. Men tend to forget that during an intimate moment, it isn’t all about themselves and their pleasure. It’s about two people trying to give and have pleasure.
Your back arches a bit more, rubbing your ass more against his semi-hard cock. A deep growl echoes against your ear. Your mind is going completely crazy. There’s one thing you desperately crave right now: him inside you.
“You,” is actually the first word that crosses your mind. “You inside me with your hand on my throat,” you clarify. 
Well, the only time you had sex with Jungkook, it was pretty wild. You both discovered how much you adored having his fingers tightly around your neck. It gave a totally other dimension to the sex. It was even more intense, and you loved it.
“You’re sure?” he still asks to be sure.
He doesn’t want to cause any more pain. 
“Absolutely,” you reassure him.
Your eyes close when his free hand finds its way to your neck, his wonderful and delicate tattooed fingers wrapping around your throat. This feels wonderful, and it gets you wetter.
As you feel a moan ready to leave your mouth, you sink your teeth into your lower lip. There’s no way you’re going to muffle all your moans. This is already too wild for you, and you know it’s going to get even wilder.
“I’d give anything to see the way you look with my hand around that pretty neck of yours, sunshine” he whispers in the shell of your ear, his deep voice emphasizing the word ‘sunshine’. 
With your eyes closed, you can perfectly picture the way his hand fits on you. Jungkook can imagine it too, causing chills to run through his skin. 
While his hand caresses your neck, the other one does wonders to your clit. The torture is exquisite, nothing feels as good as having his hands on you. His hand works harder on your core to make you wetter. The man is already desperate to give you what you want. Him inside you. 
Once he feels you’re wet enough, his fingers leave your pussy alone to pull your leg up a bit, this way will be easier for him to push his cock inside you. Quite rapidly, he takes off his underwear.
“At any time, let me know if I hurt you, okay?” he whispers with evident concern.
“Don’t worry, Kook,” you say.  
His lips pepper the back of your neck with kisses. Your hand goes behind to stroke his cock a bit before rubbing it for a little while against your soaked core. 
“Shit, yn,” he groans against your skin. 
You bite your lower lip because, damn, it’s fucking hot to wake up to this.
As you feel him growing harder in your hand, you decide to push his length into your heated core. Your pussy sucks him all in, his head stretching you open as he goes further inside you.
“You always feel amazing,” he hisses once he bottoms up.
Small and barely audible moans and whimpers leave the two of you as you both enjoy feeling your bodies connected. Jungkook doesn’t move for a few seconds, giving your body time to adjust to him.
It’s been a while since you last had sex together, and Jungkook’s cock tends to be quite big. That was for sure something you’d never forget. How could you? If you compare to all the dicks you experience, he’d be the biggest.
But it isn’t the kind of big that makes it painful. It’s actually the opposite. You’d say that his dick is simply perfect.
“Move, Kook,” you give him a small slap on his ass to urge him. 
You need him, in ways you can’t even express. 
The man doesn’t need to be told twice before he starts thrusting into you very slowly and deeply with his hand still around your throat. The slick sound of your pussy soaking his cock as well as the creaky bed quickly fills the room. 
Jungkook takes all his time, he isn’t rushing anything because damn, he wants you both to enjoy this moment. His lips stay on your shoulder, pressing soft kisses to avoid moaning. His other hand holds your leg up while he rolls his hips in a way that you absolutely adore. 
The hand on your neck and his dick deep inside you are the perfect combos to make you come in a snap. None of you speak, only enjoying this torrid moment.
The man behind you feels that he’s slowly losing you, that you’re losing yourself further in the pleasure that only he can give you. So, he lightly tightens his hand around your throat to help you reach your orgasm faster. 
“Fuck,” you swear as his fingers wrap tighter around your neck. 
This is more than bliss for you, you could just come right now because of his hand but you don’t want to let go of your orgasm. You want to let it grow immensely until it becomes too overwhelming for you. You want this orgasm to be like an explosion of fireworks inside you. 
“You take me so well,” he whispers before bringing your face closer to his to press his lips against yours. Your walls clench around him causing his cock to twitch inside you. A guttural groan leaves his pretty lips, a groan that you happily swallow.  
Wanting to bring him closer to the edge, you start moving your hips in circles while he keeps thrusting into you at a very slow and torturous pace. His lips leave yours, his eyes close shut, and barely audible moans keep flooding out of his mouth.    
“Keep doing that, yn,” he pants.   
His cock goes deeper inside you, filling you up fully and hitting all the right spots which causes the pleasure to grow stronger within you. Your moans are harder to suppress, it feels good to be railed by Jungkook this early in the morning. Morning sex is honestly one of the best types of sex.
He groans deeply against your ear, your orgasm building stronger and stronger. You know that in a matter of seconds, you’ll be coming undone, and Jungkook senses it too. Your hips never stop moving in tandem with his but as you get closer to your high, your walls squeeze him harder. 
As he gets lost in the euphoria of the moment, he starts thrusting more harshly. Both of you are chasing your own orgasm while bringing the other closer to the edge. It doesn’t take you too much time to be fiercely hit by that overwhelming wave of pleasure, making you come undone around his massive cock. 
“Jungkook, fuck!” you cry with ecstasy, your hips stopping completely to move but the man behind you never stops moving. 
“Can I come inside?” you simply nod, barely able to make a proper sentence in the middle of this euphoric state.   
Both his hands move to your hips, gripping them tightly as he releases his thick load inside you. A lewd moan escapes your mouth when he pumps his hot cum inside you, pushing it as deep as possible inside you. 
For a little while, both of you stay in this position, his hands still holding you tight against him while his cock remains inside you. None of you wants to break this moment but you have to since you’ll need to leave the bed.  
Very slowly, you remove yourself from his cock to stand up from the bed. “Can I ask you to help me put on my underwear and pants?” you ask.
Without hesitation, Jungkook stands up while grabbing your clothes. As yesterday, he kneels before you to dress you. A smile spreads across your face as you look down at him. This man is, without any doubt, the kind of man you want to have in your life. He’s been nothing but a sweetheart with you.
“Thanks a lot, Jk,” you say once fully dressed.
The man carefully spreads your legs to situate himself between them.
“No problem, sunshine,” he presses a gentle kiss on your lips.
“Also, I’d like to mention that I take the pill,” you mention with a silly smile on your face. “So we won’t have any other surprise kid.”
Jungkook smiles and kisses you once more.
“I’m glad to know that,” he whispers against your lips.
Still fully naked, he stands up to assist you to do the same. Once you’re straightened up, you take the glamorous cane. At the same time, Jungkook puts his clothes back on because there’s no way he’s going to leave this bedroom naked. It’d be way too embarrassing.
This impressive man helps you go to the bathroom and, then, to the kitchen. At first, it seems like there’s only the two of you since you don’t hear any noise. However, to your surprise, when you reach the kitchen, you find your sister sitting at the table and eating breakfast.
“Good morning,” you say with evident joy.
“Only good morning to you,” she snaps back.
You frown with confusion. Your sister looks you dead in the eyes, totally ignoring Jungkook’s presence in the same room.
“I really didn’t need to know how you two conceived your first kid,” she explains.
Both you and Jungkook open your eyes wide; you weren’t expecting that at all. But there were chances that someone would have heard you. It’s definitely weird your sister was the one. You wouldn’t want to hear her having sex with someone.
“Hopefully, this time around, there won’t be any other kid,” Jungkook manages to say.  
Your sister laughs a bit. “I like this one,” she takes a sip of coffee. “He seems better than the other ones, and he’s also a lot hotter than them.”
Jungkook starts laughing as he helps you to take a seat.
“She’s funny,” he whispers to your ear.
“Don’t be silly,” you tell your sister. “And please, go find a guy so you don’t drool over mine.”
Although you haven’t defined your relationship for now, he’s flattered you consider him as ‘your guy’.
“How can I compete with a firefighter?” she teases. “Anyone will feel boring next to Jungkook,” she adds.
“If you want, I can introduce you to my colleagues,” he suggests.
“Don’t encourage her in her nonsense,” you tell him.
“Yes, please,” she says with enthusiasm.
You roll your eyes. She’s unbelievable and definitely very crazy, but that’s maybe why you love her so damn much.  
After that, together with Jungkook, you prepare breakfast while speaking with your sister. She leaves a couple of minutes later because she needs to meet with her best friend downtown. And right after her, Jungkook leaves you alone in your parents’ house which breaks your heart. However, you don’t stay very long by yourself as your kids come to visit you with their father.
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Three weeks later
You and Jungkook are sitting at a table in a fancy restaurant. Your heart is beating fast with nervousness.
“Everything is going to be fine,” he tries to reassure you while resting his hand on top of yours.
“Don’t know,” you mumble.
Today, you’ve organized a dinner with Jungkook and Taemoo; your first time as a family. It’s weird to even think about it, but Taemoo really wanted to spend some time with you, together. Since he proposed this, you’ve been feeling very nervous. You’re a bit scared of how things will go when you’re finally the three of you together.
“There’s no reason for this to not go well,” he answers.
Before you can even answer, Taemoo joins you with a bright smile on his face. Like the first time you met him, he’s very well dressed.
“Hello,” he says. “I brought you these,” he hands you a tiny bouquet composed of three sunflowers. “It’s one sunflower for each of us.”
Your heart has completely melted now. This kid is so damn thoughtful, just like his biological father. His parents definitely raised him well, and it only reassures you that the decision you made sixteen years ago was the right one.
“Hello, Taemoo,” you say while standing up to hold your son in your arms. “Thanks a lot.”
Your firstborn wraps his arms around yours. This is a heartfelt moment; being able to hug him fills your heart with so much love. It feels like holding Jiwoo even though you didn’t raise Taemoo. Unfortunately, you can’t hold him for a long moment due to your wonderful knees. So he then greets Jungkook before taking a seat in the empty chair.
“Thanks for accepting this,” those are his first words.
Although he seems very happy and relaxed, you notice he’s a bit stressed.
“After seeing you separately, I really wanted to spend a bit of time with the two of you,” he starts saying. “Not sure how this will evolve in the future, but I’d like to sometimes organize this kind of diner.”
For the past few weeks, your life has drastically changed, and honestly, sometimes, you feel like it’s too much. However, having Jungkook and Sunny back in your life is what you consider to be a blessing. In all this chaos, you found two deeply important people that you left sixteen years ago.
The sixteen-year-old version of you was devasted to part ways from them two, thinking that you’ll never see them again. If she could see this today, the heartbreak would have been less painful. But that version of you is beyond happy today to see the three of you sitting at the same table.
This car accident destroyed your knees and stomach, but it has brought you Jungkook and Sunny. All of this would not be happening without this accident.
You also can’t wait to see your three other little munchkins with the man you love and their older sibling. Undoubtedly, that day will be the most wonderful day of your life. Now, you feel like you can finally truly be happy. You now have all the people you need to be happy.    
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2K notes · View notes
vantxx95 · 17 days ago
Text
𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐈 𝐌𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 (l.hs)
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pairing: heeseung x reader (f)
summary: your daughter asks heeseung to tell the greatest love story of all and he takes the chance to narrate how he met you, the love of his life.
warnings: fluff & crack! (i tried), early 2000s au, kinda enemies to lovers, heeseung is down bad, they have a daughter, mentions of pregnancy, heeseung plays basketball, cuddling and kissing, light angst, mentions of leukaemia, parent’s death, if more lmk. NOT PROOFREAD
published: 23rd April 2024
wc: 6.2k
tag list: @stolasisyourparent @jaeyunsbimbo @heelvsted
Heeseung couldn’t bring himself to wake you up, knowing you were so exhausted from all the things you had to do.
Not only did you manage to prepare everything for Jia’s kindergarten, take her there and get to work in time but you also cleaned and cooked in your spare time, leaving little to just sit down and rest, which was why every time you sat down on the sofa, you ended up falling in a deep slumber.
He smiled fondly, covering your curled figure with a blanket and turned around with his hands on his hips “Tin Soldier.”
He called with a forced low voice, making Jia’s attention turn from the toy in her hand to her father, she placed her stocky hand on her forehead, standing at attention “Captain Hamster.”
Heeseung chuckled at her high pitched voice and scooped her up from the floor, taking her in his arms “Mission sweet tooth,” He booped her nose “Time for teeth brushing.”
Jia let out a whine of disappointment “But I want to play more.” She pouted, and if Heeseung didn’t know how much you’d get upset if Jia missed her bedtime, he’d let his daughter play to her heart's content.
“I know,” He pinched her cheek softly, earning a giggle “But I heard the tooth fairy doesn’t come to those who don’t brush their teeth before bed…” He trailed off, Jia’s eyes widened and she quickly climbed down Heeseung’s arms, hurrying upstairs. He could hear her small steps darting to the bathroom, making him smile writhing himself.
He glanced back at you, feeling such an euphoric feeling he thought his heart would explode.
Heeseung walked close to you and placed a featherlight kiss on your forehead, but your momma instinctive feelings made your eyes open up, alerted to your surroundings as you tried to get the sight of your daughter.
“Shh..” He soothed, caressing your cheek “I’ll prepare Jia for bed, mh?” He kissed the corner of your lips, your eyes already closed under his relaxing touch “You stay here, I'll take you to bed later.” You just let out a sleepy hum, your eyes too heavy to stay open more.
Heeseung went upstairs, following his daughter’s route and getting to the bathroom where she was already brushing her teeth, probably with a little too much toothbrush but it didn’t matter. He was glad she was trying.
Jia rinsed her mouth and opened it to let her father see how much of a good job she did, Heeseung smiled proudly “Great job, Tin Soldier. It's jammy mission now.” Jia giggled as she hurried off the stool that helped her reach the faucet and took Heeseung's sleeve, dragging him (more like, he let himself be dragged) to her bedroom.
The baby took her pyjama from the chair and placed it on the bed, “Daddy, can you help me?” She asked, clumsily removing her clothes.
Heeseung nodded, smiling as he saw her attempts at changing, despite still not majoring in it. In no time, she was clean and ready to bed, Heeseung tugged her under the blankets and sat by the edge of the bed, only the thin reflection of the pink night light illuminating the room.
They stared at each other for a few moments until Jia spoke “No bedtime story?” She tilted her head in confusion “You want me to tell you a bedtime story?”
“Mommy always does,” He explained, hugging her purple bear tightly “And what kind of stories does mommy tell you?” Heeseung asked, curious
“She usually recounts Tangled because she like a Flynn Rider.” Jia informed, making Heeseung raise a brow “She does?” Was it possible to feel jealous of a cartoon character? Probably not but Heeseung was crazy about you, so he’d make it a normal thing.
“Yes, but it’s always the same story.” Jia sighed, shaking her head “I want a more interesting one.”
Heeseung stayed silent, his lips forming a thin line as he tried to think “What do you want to hear about?”
It didn’t take much for Jia to reply “I want the greatest love story of all.” She answered happily, at her age, everything was about fantasies and unicorns.
So, Heeseung tried to think about the many love stories he knew, the famous tales he’d known growing up. There was Cinderella, The Little Mermaid and…. a candle lit in his mind.
“I’ll tell you the greatest love story of all,” He started with a cocky smirk “The best fairytale ever told.”
His words fuelled Jia’s curiosity as she snuggled better under the blankets, eyes sparkling “The wonderful love story of Lee Heeseung and L/N Y/N.”
Jia’s face was puzzled “But that’s you and mommy.” She stated and Heeseung nodded, smiling “Mommy isn’t a princess.”
Heeseung shook his head, but his smile never disappeared from his lips. “No, she’s my queen.” He ruffled Jia’s hair “So, do you want to hear it?”
“Mhmh!” Jia hummed in response “If mommy is a queen then I am the princess.” Heeseung let out a low chuckle, nodding “Yes, you are our dear princess.”
Jia smiled widely, one of those smiles that made your days uncontrollably better and sweeter “Tell me, tell me.” She incited her father
“It all started on..”
⪩⪨
A rainy Thursday afternoon. It was the perfect time for a cinema hang out with friends. You stood in front of the long line, it seemed like everyone had your same idea since both elderly couples and families with children were buying tickets and popcorn. You waved your hand to a young boy who was staring at you while holding a sachet of popcorn bigger than him, he waved back, making you smile.
You turned your head to see that most of the queue was gone, so you surpassed some of those people who never moved and just stared at the menu. You already knew your order, so why would you wait for them to choose?
The cashier who looked like he could really do a vacation asked in a monotone voice “What do you want to order?”
“A packet of Twizzlers.” You said but your voice did not seem quite like yours. You turned your head to the side just to meet a pair of big eyes staring at you in disbelief.
You two narrowed your eyes at each other, a staring battle that would declare the winner. Why were you acting that way? Because the packet of Twizzlers was the last one, and if that pretty boy thought he could steal it from you, he thought wrongly.
The cashier cleared his throat. “It’s the last one.” He stated, holding the dear packet of candies in front of you two
“I was there first.” The boy tried to defend himself, making you scoff “He was talking to me.” You raised a challenging brow.
“I clearly saw you cutting the line.” He blamed “False accusation, do you have any proof?”
“You were at the end of the queue just two seconds ago!” He exclaimed, making you smirk “You were staring at me?” Pink flashed instantly on the guy’s cheeks “No.” He tried to mask it, but you could clearly see some frustration in his features
The cashier cleared his throat once again, snatching your attention. “Just decide already, or I will.”
“No!” You both screamed, side eyeing each other once again “They’re mine.” The boy said, making you roll your eyes, “Your name ain’t written on them.”
“Neither is yours.” He raised his chin, an attempt to make you see he wasn’t backing down.
There was a moment where you two stared at each other, silence filling the place except for the vociferate inside the cinema halls, waiting for the movie to begin.
“Rock, paper, scissors!” You both exclaimed at the same time again, showing your hands. He cursed under his breath, seeing your petite hand that represented paper wrap around his closed fist which was rock.
“I won.” You said mockingly, throwing a few coins on the counter and taking the packet of twizzlers in your hand.
You were walking away when the cashier called you “Miss, excuse me?” You turned around and raised a questioning brow
He waved the coins you used to pay for the candies “You’re missing ten cents.”
You widened your eyes, checking your jeans pockets. You were sure you took the right amount of money, had you miscounted them?
An hopeful grin spread across the guy’s lips, taking the pennies from the cashier’s fingers and walking toward you “Guess this should be mine.” He tried to take the packet of Twizzlers but you moved your arm
He sighed, shaking his head “Listen, darling—“ “Don’t call me darling” You snapped at him, a frown on your face
He placed two surrounding hands between you two “Alright, my bad.” He then pointed at you and the dear packet of candies “You don’t have enough money, but I do, so just give it up and go watch your movie.”
Your mouth fell agape, staring at him in disbelief. However, you had nothing to counterattack anymore and had to stay still when he took the packet, replacing your hand with your not enough coins and paying for it to the overtired cashier.
The boy winked at you before disappearing down the corridor that led to the halls.
A movie just wasn’t the same without Twizzlers, but instead of doing twenty cents charity outside the cinema to buy at least a coke, you hurried inside the hall that projected ‘The Notebook’ and tried to find your seat, despite the room being dark already. Fortunately, there was at least ten minutes of advertising, so you had enough time to let yourself fall on the seat with a loud thud, earning a few ‘shhh’s from other people.
“Girl, what’s wrong with you?” Your best friend, Sunoo asked “What took you so long to come back? I thought you got lost or something.”
You shook your head, a defeated expression painted on your face “Someone stole my Twizzlers.” You fake-dried a tear
“Aw, poor you.” Sunoo patted your shoulder, knowing your tradition of eating candies and drinking coke while watching a movie “It’s ok, I’ll share my coke with you.” He took the giant cup and placed it on the armrest between the two of you. You smiled at him and focused your attention on the movie that started.
You felt a familiar scent filling your nostrils, you slowly turned your head and raised a brow when you noticed that not only had that boy stolen your candies, he was also eating them on the seat beside yours. You had not noticed it when you first sat down, but now you could clearly see his silhouette enjoying the snack that should’ve been yours.
As if feeling someone’s stare on him, he turned his head and met your angry gaze, his eyes widened a little before they turned into two half-moons, a smug grin on his lips. You exchanged no words but the way he was acting was so mocking it made your blood burn.
You gave your attention back to the film, not wanting to fuel his ego by acting affected by his childish behaviour. Yes, it was childish, but you were more petty so it did anger you. Who did he think he was to act that way?
The movie continued, even if you were painfully aware of the parasite beside you, you were able to follow the whole plot line until the ending scene was replaced with the closing credits. Murmurs filled the cinema room, the lights went on and you heard.
Sunoo was crying rivers beside you which made you chuckle, he had already finished his third tissue when he said “I’ll run to the bathroom.” To probably cry some more and try to fix his swelling eyes later. You were about to follow him when you heard a sniffle from your other side, you turned around and your eyes lit up when you noticed the stealer crying.
He raised his head and hid it behind his hands when he noticed you were staring. A heartfelt laugh escaped your lips “Don’t laugh at me.” He mumbled with a clear runny nose “You bet I am.” You sat down again, waiting for all the people to flow out and leave the exits freer “That’s what you get for stealing my snacks.”
He peaked at you from behind his fingers. “It’s not my fault you’re broke.” You tsked at his false-not-so-false statement “It’s not my fault you’re a crybaby.”
He side-eyed you and you side-eyed him back, just like Sunoo had taught you. The boy tried to dry his tears and runny nose, which was both unhygienic and impossible with one palm of his hand.
You felt a little pitiful for him and sighed, taking a tissue from the small tissue box and handing it to the boy.
He eyed it warily, not sure if he should’ve accepted it or not. “It’s not poisonous, unlike your germs.” You waved it in front of his face and he accepted it with a groan, blowing his nose and drying his tears.
He crumpled it and put it in his jeans pocket, staring at you while gulping down in a nervous way. You chuckled teasingly “What? Is the venom acting up?”
He rolled his eyes and took something from inside his hoodie’s pocket, “I saved this for you.”
You stared at the red candy stick he was holding out for you with a frown “What?” You asked, puzzled. Heeseung just sighed, acting unbiased. “I was full, don’t think I did it out of kindness.”
“What’s your name?” You asked suddenly, making him widen his eyes “Careful, you sound interested.”
You pursued your lips “Just answer, yeah?” The boy placed the candy on your palm, standing up.
You hadn’t noticed it, but he towered you by a lot just with you sitting, you didn’t imagine how you would have to pull your neck to look into his eyes by standing in front of him.
He stretched, lazily placing his hands in his pocket “Heeseung,” He beckoned to you “Y/N.” You replied
“Thank you for the tissue, Y/N.” He said and the way your name rolled from his tongue made your stomach turn. Whether it was disgust or attraction, you didn’t dare to label.
“Unthank you for the Twizzlers.” You smirked and turned on your heels, walking away before he even had the chance to talk to you more.
⪩⪨
“You cried over a movie?” Jia asked in an accusatory tone “I’m a sensitive person.” Heeseung huffed, blinking faintly
“I think you’re just a cry baby.” Jia raised her chin proudly “I didn’t even cry when I went to the dentist.”
Heeseung sniggered softly, booping his daughter's nose. He couldn’t help but always show some sort of affection towards her. The feeling of protection and longing was so strong whenever they spent time together. “Of course, you’re stronger than me.”
“Did you see her again later?” Heeseung nodded “Yes, but it was a lot of time later, like one month or so.” Jia widened her eyes “That much?” He hummed, running a hand in his hair “I was always awestruck when I saw her, it happened at the cinema and again…”
⪩⪨
“A 40, please.” Heeseung forced out a smile and handed the skates to the young girl who just asked. He was supposed to be relaxing at home but his brother decided to have a small trip with his girlfriend and obviously, it was Heeseung’s turn to cover up for him.
He had been handing skates that smelled like sweat and rotten cheese to people for four hours, and the thoughts of doing that for another one and half made him feel sick.
“A 38, please.” Heeseung’s eyes widened at the familiar voice, he raised his head and stared at your face through his bangs.
“You!” You both shouted at the same time, making the gesture of the Spiderman meme “What are you doing here?” He asked, eyeing you up and down.
Perhaps, it was the reddish lightning of the room, or the fact that your hair had grown a little, seeming like the perfect length for you; or the soft make up accentuating your face. Or maybe just the toxic fumes from the overused skates played tricks on his head.
“What’s taking so long?” One arm sneaked around your shoulders, making Heeseung raise a brow.
Oh, that was why you were there.
“My size is hard to find.” You lied, beckoning to Heeseung to do his job. Complying, he turned around and found your skates. passing them to you “Remember to take the safety precautions.” He said the same phrase he’d been repeating so many times and watched as you walked away with that guy’s arm still around your shoulder.
It shouldn’t have pissed him off, but it did. The way you smiled with him, helping him skating despite him was a lost case. Seriously, that guy sucked at skating, he had fallen so many times in just one hour.
Trying to distract himself, when he saw you approaching the counter bar, he started polishing the skates, but the urge to just talk to you was strong, so he approached you, sneakingly.
“Where’s your date?” Heeseung asked, cleaning the table with a sponge near where you were sat “Bathroom.” You replied nonchalantly
A soft frown curved his forehead “You’ve been sitting here for fifteen minutes, you sure he’s still in there?” At his words you smirked “You were staring at me?” Those same two words you told him when you first met.
You added “I saw him sneaking away five minutes ago, I just like to think he had a massive diarrhoea and didn’t actually dump me.”
Fucker. If he didn’t want to go out with you anymore he could’ve at least told you face to face.
The notes of ‘She Will Be Loved’ by Maroon 5 started playing as background music. Heeseung stared at you, you looked so gorgeous with your makeup, messy hair from the skating and the same bored expression you always wore, like nothing truly entertained you enough.
“What a loser.” He joked instead, earning a scoff from you “Why don’t you put yourself to good use and make me a smoothie?” You asked, sliding three coins on the counter.
Heeseung raised a brow, “I don’t know how to do it.” You raised it back “Don’t you work here?”
He shook his head “I’m just filling in for my brother.” You rolled your eyes “How useless.”
You were about to take those coins back when Heeseung stopped you, his hands brushing against yours “I’ll do it.” You smirked “A vanilla one, thank you.”
It was already late afternoon and the skating room wasn’t as packed as it was during the early hours, so Heeseung could put aside the skates sizes to make you a smoothie. Obviously, only to prove to you he was better than you thought, not because he wanted to cheer you up. Not at all.
Fiddling a little bit with the smoothies machine, he managed to make one, a little too liquid, but still drinkable.
He placed victoriously the glass in front of you, adding a straw inside “Here ya go.” You eyed it up and down, warily “Did you spit in it?”
Heeseung put a hand on his chest, acting wounded “You think so low of me.” You sighed while shaking your hand and took a small sip of the ‘vanilla smoothie’
“How is it?” He asked, hopeful. You just shrugged “Not bad for a newbie.”
Heeseung smirked, leaning against the counter, you could feel his body heat near you “Where’s my tip?”
You rolled your eyes, pushing him away “Nowhere.”
Your phone rang at that moment, you made a gesture for him to keep quiet and answered “Yes, mom… Yes, I know— at the, don’t shout, at the skating rink—“ A heavy sigh “Okay, I’ll be home.”
You hung up and hopped off the stool “Where are you going?” Heeseung frowned, “You haven’t even finished your smoothie.”
“Curfew.” You replied, waving your phone to him. He raised a brow “Don’t ask.”
Heeseung nodded, exiting from behind the counter, still in his brother’s uniform. Now you raised a brow “Where are you going?”
“I’ll walk you home.” You scowled, your face showing surprise “You’re working.” You stated
Heeseung pointed at the clock on the wall that ticked 06:03 PM. “Technically, my shift ended three minutes ago.”
“And why would you walk me home?” You asked “If something happened to you on the way, I’m sure your ghost would haunt me.”
You tsked, “I wouldn’t give you the honour to visit you when I’m dead.” Heeseung just smiled and nudged your shoulder with his “Lead the way, Twizzlers lover.”
You just rolled your eyes and walked out as he held the door for you “Let’s go, Twizzlers stealer.”
⪩⪨
“Why did that boy leave mommy?” Jia asked, her lips shifting to a cute pout “Because he didn’t realise what a treasure your mother is.” Heeseung answered, now sitting beside Jia with her small body curled under his arm.
“And you walked her home?” He nodded, laughing at the memories “Your grandfather went crazy when he saw me walk her home, I got a slipper thrown at my head.”
Jia chuckled as well, her soft giggles echoing through the whole room “What’s so funny? I got hurt.”
Jia chuckled loudly, hiding her face in her father’s chest “Grandpa still throws slippers at you.” She stated, making Heeseung laugh again “That’s right.”
“What happened then?” She asked, wanting to know more about her parents' love story. This was better than any prince and princesses tales her mother used to tell her.
“Later, I was forced to have dinner with them.” Heeseung started narrating, “After that awkward meal, me and Y/N grew closer. We kept bickering and fighting, but with her, no conversation was forced.”
Jia frowned “What does it mean?” She naively asked, of course she wouldn’t know this yet, so Heeseung explained “Sometimes, we feel forced to talk to others, however with your mother I didn’t even have to think about what to say, words just came to my mind.”
“Mommy seemed like she hated you.” The baby stated, glancing up to her father “She didn’t.”
Jia tilted her head “How do you know?” Heeseung smiled fondly, “I just knew.”
⪩⪨
“This one’s for you!” Heeseung exclaimed, throwing the ball to the basket just to painfully miss it. You laughed loudly at his fail “I hope that’s not how you flirt with girls or that explains why you’re single.” You snickered
Heeseung reached the ball and dribbled it around the court, his sleeves rolled up and his bangs sticking to the sweat on his forehead “Only with you.” He winked, making you act as if you were about to gag.
“Do you think I’ll be able to enter the college’s basketball team?” He asked, his voice sounding a little too serious for his usual playful character.
“We still have two months to think about college,” You frowned. “Let me live my summer without any thoughts.” Heeseung chuckled and threw the ball at you, which you caught before it landed on your face.
“I know,” He caught the ball you threw back at him “But I truly want to get a scholarship and maybe become a basketball player.” His tone may have been indifferent but his eyes were full of insecurities that could not could not be ignored.
You had been enemy (friend) with Heeseung long enough to know he had two things he deeply cared for: His family and basketball.
He was the High School team captain but hadn’t managed to receive a scholarship to enter the Sports faculty, which meant he had to rely on his own skills and money.
That wasn’t a problem, you know his family would always support his dreams, but there was something that Heeseung did not tell you about. You had a feeling, however you didn’t want to assume things. He’d tell you when he felt like it.
Your expression softened, you jumped off the railing and moved closer to him, stealing the ball from his hands, that he let you do, and taking a shot.
The ball entered the basket, making you smile proudly “You’re the best player I know, Heeseung.” You said honestly, nudging his shoulder with yours. The ball bounced back to you and you scooped it from the floor, placing a hand that signalled to Heeseung to wait there.
You rushed to your bags and took something he couldn’t see. He waited patiently, following all your movements.
You turned around and showed him what you did— holding out his basketball ball with a smiley face drawn on it “You just have to believe it too.” The smile on your lips matched with the ball’s one, but yours shone brighter. Heeseung felt a warm feeling spread all over his chest, something tickling his heart.
“Not as good as me.” You smirked playfully, taking another shot that missed the basket “Cause at least I fail gracefully.”
Heeseung shook his head, his lips curling into a small grin “You free tomorrow evening?” He suddenly asked and you quickly replied “Not at all.”
Heeseung knitted his brows “Why?” You sat back on the railing “The new season of ‘One Tree Hill’ is airing, I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
He reached for you, taking the new-styled ball in his hands and rolling it “Not even if I said I’ll buy you Twizzlers?” You pondered a little but then shook your head “Nah ah.”
“Damn.” Heeseung sighed, “I’ll watch it with you, then.”
You blinked faintly “You called my series trash yesterday.” Heeseung nodded “Well, they are.” He hopped on the railing beside you “But when I become the best basketball player in the world, I won’t be able to spend much time with you.”
You smiled, noting how he said ‘when’ and not ‘if’ “Finally some time away from you.” Heeseung faked being offended “I’ll say on national TV that you were about to sabotage my career.” You laughed “I’ll be making prayers for your downfall.”
You both laughed at whatever, teasing each other but knowing when to stop not to upset the other.
“Eight PM, tomorrow?” Heeseung questioned, “I don’t want you in my house.” You answered, laughing “I’ll climb the window.” You immediately shook your head, knowing he could manage to do it, because he had tried once “Fine, loser. Roast beef for dinner, take it or leave it.”
Heeseung smirked, biting his bottom lip “Not you as a meal?” You widened your eyes, pushing him off the railing “What the hell.”
“Ouch—“ He fell flat on the floor, “That hurt.” You wiggled your brows “Serves you right.”
“Oh yeah?” He said, tone flirty as he took the ball and hit you hard with it, making you fall “How dare you!” You started chasing after him while he ran away.
If anyone saw you from afar, they’d think you were two people madly in love with each other… and you were.
You just hadn’t realised it yet.
⪩⪨
“You wanted to become a basketball player?” Jia asked, her voice filled with sleepiness, but she wanted to know how the story continued, so she fought her eyes open.
“Yes dear,” Heeseung placed a featherlight kiss on Jia’s hair. “I played basketball and was the best player in the world— or so Y/N thought.”
“But you don’t play anymore.” She stated and Heeseung shook his head in response “No, I don’t.” Jia yawned softly “Why?”
He sighed sadly, gulping down “Before I went to college, my mother passed away.” Heeseung held Jia a little tighter “She had leukaemia, which is a very bad thing,” He explained easily so that his daughter could understand “And I needed stability, I needed something that basketball couldn’t bring me.”
Jia looked up at him “And what could?”
“Your mother.”
⪩⪨
You couldn’t believe you learned about it two days later. That day was the date of the funeral and you weren’t by Heeseung’s side. Truth to be told, you tried to reach for him a lot in the past few days, but his brother either shrugged you off or didn’t even answer the door.
You thought you did something wrong, but it turned out his mother died due to the illness that had been haunting her for over a year.
You should’ve realised it, you should be by his side, giving him the strength he needed to get through it. Which was why you were running despite the pouring rain, trying to reach the location of the funeral.
You didn’t care if you were going to be sick the next day, your fixed thought was Heeseung and just him.
Heeseung, on the other hand, had been painfully quiet and shut down. He hasn’t comprehended yet that he was going to live the rest of his life without his dear mother, facing the troubles and sufferings of adulthood alone.
The whole room was packed with relatives he had never known about, all giving him pity glances and condolences he didn’t need. He just wanted his mother back.
Sighing, he went outside to have some time alone. As soon as he stepped outside, the cold breeze hugged his body, making him shiver. The rain made his suit wet but he didn’t really care— maybe it would take the pain away with its drain.
He stared at the night sky, the moon and the stars watching him back, probably feeling pity for him too.
His heart was heavy and black, full of grief and sorrow. He just wished you were there to make it better. You always did.
Your smile, your playfulness, your sharp tongue. He liked everything about you, even your ugliest flaw.
As he was trying to fill his dull mind with the thought of you, he saw something rushing in the streets, towards his directions.
The figure kept coming closer and closer until a familiar face was lightened from the lightbulb.
There he saw you, standing under the pouring rain, looking ever so dreamlike. There was a moment where you both just studied each other’s faces, as if you hadn’t seen each other in forever— which felt like it.
Just a couple of days without you made him realise how important you are, how much he needed you. No words were exchanged, there was no necessity, you hurried your steps toward him and hugged him, your embrace so warm in contrast with the cold weather.
Heeseung let out a sob and then another until he was crying ugly on your chest, all the tears he wasn’t able to shed until that day. You rubbed soothing circles on his chest, gripping him tightly, afraid that he would shatter right there.
“W-Why..” He weeped, his voice breaking from the trembling of his lips, due to both the cold and his crying “It— It was too early.. Why her?”
You let him rumble nonsense, knowing how heartbroken and sad he was, you just held him through the pain, hoping to at least relieve some “I know, but I am here now, I won’t leave you.”
Heeseung looked up at you, his eyes glossy, his whole body soaked and nose reddened. Perfect regardless. You stared at him, afraid that if you blinked he would disappear, and he seemed to be thinking the same thought.
You placed your hands on both his cheeks, your thumb rubbing them. Heeseung gulped down, his long lashes and bambi eyes enchanting you, so mesmerising.
You didn’t know what you were doing until you felt his hot breath hit your skin, like one of Jupiter's satellites orbiting around him, getting closer and closer to him.
And then, like a crashing wave, your lips found each other into a gentle and soft kiss, his hands raising to brush against the nape of your neck.
You let out a sigh in his mouth, his hand grasping the back of your head, tilting it to deepen the kiss. It was an anchor that he needed, something not to give up for. You wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing his body flush to yours, both of you warming the other, protecting from the darkness of the world.
He was the first to pull away, his lips swollen as he stared at you “You don’t know how much I waited for this.” He whispered, shaking his head to emphasise his words. Your whole body trembled under his touch, his expression filling with worry “Are you cold? We should—“
You shushed him by reattaching your lips together, only one kiss not enough to calm down the desire, “No,” you murmured on his lips “You just make me feel so much it’s overwhelming.” He let out a small sigh, nodding as if to say he felt the same. His heart was beating so fast he could feel it in his throat, every best spelling your name.
“Thank you for coming,” He whispered and you smiled at him “You know I wouldn’t leave you alone even if I were a ghost— Sorry!” You exclaimed, realising it was not the best time to bring up the conversation you had at the skating rink.
To your surprise, Heeseung laughed out loud and pressed his lips on your brow, ever so caring “Please, don’t ever lose it.”
Puzzled, you asked “Lose what?” Heeseung smiled, “The spark that makes you, you.”
Your breath caught in your throat, his gaze intense as he studied those same features he knew by heart. You grinned back “If I had a packet of Twizzlers, I’d give you the last one.”
Heeseung bit his bottom lip, not able to hide the way his lips curled upwards everytime he was with you. “If I had a packet of Rolos, I’d give you the last one.”
⪩⪨
“You kissed mommy?” Jia’s voice grew softer every passing minute “Yes— but you can’t let a person kiss you until you’re eighteen, understood?”
“Why?” She asked, playing with the arms of her purple teddy bear “Because I say so.”
“Is the story finished?” Jia questioned with another yawn, as much as she wanted to hear more, her eyelids were becoming heavier
“I’ll make it quick,” Heeseung started, massaging Jia’s arm. “Mommy and I started dating after that kiss, it wasn’t official because none of us was truly ready, but we both knew what we had was magical.” He smiled within himself.
“Then, we graduated from college and I proposed to her,” Jia’s heart-lips opened to resemble an ‘o’ “With a ring?” Heeseung dipped “Yes, with a ring as beautiful as her.”
“It was an engagement ring, we made a promise to marry after university, and as soon as we got our degrees, we prepared for the big celebration— Your mother looked so perfect by the altar.”
Jia smiled sleepily, imagining how beautiful her mother must’ve looked with the wedding dress on, all candid and white “Like a queen?” Heeseung placed a kiss on her hair “Like a queen.”
“And a couple of years later, we had you.” He smiled happily. Heeseung was so satisfied with his life, and even if he had to give basketball up, he felt like he gained more. He had a beautiful wife, always by his side and a perfect daughter he’d protect with all his might (and probably throw slippers at her boyfriend’s too). His heart never felt so full of love and affection, he was accomplished.
“But the ending…“ He turned around to finish his sentence just to see Jia had fallen asleep, her breaths shallow and calm. He tugged her better under the covers, standing up from the small bed, feeling a little sore but joyful “…Still has to be written.”
He placed another featherlight kiss on her daughter’s forehead, whispering a gentle “Good night.” Before exiting the room.
He closed the door behind her back, hurrying downstairs with light steps. Heeseung saw you were still fast asleep on the couch. He removed the blanket from your figure and hooked his arms behind your neck and knees, scooping you from it.
You blinked your eyes open, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck “Hee?” You murmured, your voice laced with sleep.
“Hey, love.” He nudged his nose with your cheek “Time to get to bed.” You hummed, snuggling closer, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.
Heeseung opened the door to your bedroom with his foot and slowly placed you down on the mattress. You opened your eyes again, staring at him through your half-lids “Jia?” Heeseung smiled reassuringly. “She’s sleeping, just finished telling her a story.”
He laid down beside you, wrapping the cover over your two figures, he shifted closer to you, holding you close “What story?” You asked, your voice hoarse “Just the best story ever.” He placed a sweet kiss on the corner of your lips
“By the way, I’m a better storyteller than you.” He bragged and you scoffed “Liar.”
“Maybe,” He chuckled, wrapping both his arms around your body “But do you know one thing I never lie about?”
You shook your head “I’d give you my last Rolo.” You smiled, he could feel it on his chest “I’d give you my last Twizzler too.”
[⪩⪨] END.
THANK YOU FOR READING ! REBLOG (and like) AND LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS !
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vantxx95 · 21 days ago
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yet to read will add thoughts later sowiee !! <3
it’s cupid, stupid! | lhs
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୨୧ SYNOPSIS -›  To hell with Lee Heeseung, you couldn't find someone you hated more than the boy who's by your side no matter what. You figured that maybe the summer before university would be the best way to finally let go of him, and to leave the hate you have in your childhood- but no. What do you mean you have to spend ALL summer with him?
୨୧ PAIR  -› golden boy!heeseung x fem-pres!reader
୨୧ GENRE -› fluff, pining, hurt/angst, slow burn (oops), bakery au, summer au, post highschool au | ୨୧ TROPES -› (slightly one sided) enemies to lovers, rivals to lovers | ୨୧ WC -› 20k (jfc)
୨୧ INCLUDES -› CURSING, food mentions, a self indulgent characterization of my grandmother but she’s also everyone else’s in this fic, the bakery has foods from like 40 different cultures, both mc and hee get burned but it’s tiny, heeseung’s parents r lowk overachieving assholes this is NOT a reflection of anyone irl, ew so much banter, heeseung and mc drink from the same straw ik that’s an ick for some LOL, underaged alcohol consumption (and being drunk)…sorry
୨୧ REN SAYS... thank u thank u thank u peng aka @jlheon for beta reading this in one sitting for me!!! your comments were so cute i'm so glad you enjoyed reading it <3
plsplsplspls reblog and send feedback/asks if you liked this!
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Lee Heeseung might only have eleven characters to his name, but they spelt trouble in forty different ways. 
It starts with the same old Lee Heeseung spilling his applesauce on you in the first grade, with his cup of mushy lukewarm grossness splattered across your new pants with glittery stars on them. You shriek when it happens, frantically wiping off the mess and yelling at his Lightning McQueen lunchbox with all of the bottled up rage a six year old can have. His eyes are wide, but all his friends laugh and say girls are so angry all the time, so he stops himself from apologizing. Which, you think his friends were being a little rude to all girls alike, but what mattered was that Lee Heeseung never ended up saying sorry. 
But that’s just one way of spelling it. He hit you in the face with a ball, ran into you when your knee was scraped and you almost were bursting into tears, and tripped you in the lunch line. 
Did the universe hate you, or did he? 
You figured it was the latter.
Heeseung’s been stuck to you your entire life with some extra strong adhesive that you can’t seem to get off. You wish you could get some of the same glue that stuck you two to the hip and attach his tongue to the nearest streetlight, but things almost never worked in your favor. If you could catch him, just once, like one of the dumb boys who lick frozen poles in winter, you’d be satisfied. 
The blackmail would trump any sort of Heeseung related adversity your elementary grade self had to deal with. 
Unfortunately, the years have rendered you no protection against him, and in the small victories you find yourself in, you also see Heeseung right next to you. The exam you aced was topped by Heeseung with a 98%, just a bit higher than your 96%, and it couldn’t even feel good to talk about it because you knew all your friends talked about was how he did the best. Better than you. 
There was no accomplishment anymore when Heeseung was around. 
Heeseung was perfect in everyone’s eyes, a golden boy in their praises and a role model for their parents. If people didn’t want to be with Lee Heeseung, people wanted to be Lee Heeseung. That? That was something you hated. How could people want to be someone who you couldn’t stand?
Summer is a new slate- a very humid new beginning for you to get away from people at school and hang out with only your closest of friends and to ghost any new message you get. That is, if you choose to. Or, you could have an objectively more “hot girl summer” where you go to pools and post pictures on social media and talk about strangers on the internet. Unfortunately, none of those things seemed to be a viable option, with your friends in different countries and in cute swimsuits. Your visits to your grandmother had been so pushed back with all of the finals on top of exams and end of the year festivities that it had been a while since you last saw her. Spending time with her this summer was your number one priority- your friends could wait a few weeks to hang out again. 
You spend your first Saturday at her house making pastries with oddly reminiscent spices and a sprinkle of your childhood within every slice. If there’s one person you can trust to stay the same, it’s your dear grandma, with her decade old recipes and hard to find ingredients that she sometimes makes you go on a manhunt for. It’s endearing in a way to know that her cooking will never change, and maybe it’s the reason you make an effort to visit when you can. You love your grandma, and you always have, because she’s the only true constant in a world that’s constantly changing. 
You’ve made a feast by the time the sun barely peeks from the edge of the ground. You’ve measured countless spoons of sauces and powdery substances that all look the same and you're surprised the sauce you burned still tastes good. She’s finished setting up the table, and you two can finally dig into your favorite authentic cooking. Even if you see her quite frequently, she doesn’t always cook. Sometimes it’s leftovers, sometimes it’s take-out. But today was different. 
After you’ve both finished, your grandma hands you plastic wrapped dishes filled with mere fractions of what you two have made. She tells you to go to the Lee’s down the road, and your eyes narrow slightly. Lee is also the last name of Heeseung. So, what would be the odds it was him? 
Not likely. Heeseung would think he’s too cool to live in an area like this. His parents are probably minted- and if not loaded, then well off. 
Well, you were 100% wrong! Lee Heeseung does seem to live here, and you will admit the porcelain figures of calico cats in the dark as shapeless silhouettes were a little frightening at first. Your grandma washed away your previous concerns with a “Of course they’ll be home! Heeseung always answers the door for me.” and pushes you out of the house to deliver the two boxes of leftovers that smell delectable. If you weren’t so full, you’d just take a different route and have it for yourself. 
You can hear the ‘it’s our neighbor!’ And a pair of footsteps tumbling down the carpeted stairs to answer the doorbell. 
Lee fucking Heeseung in his sock and pajama clad glory. How punchable he looked in this very moment, with his warm brown dyed hair and white t-shirt. 
“I have leftovers. For your family.” His widened eyes immediately go back to their normal state, and he reaches out to meet your offering halfway. 
“You live here?” He asks, in a calm, civil manner that you don’t think you’ve ever seen with him. 
“Grandma does- I’m just her errand…runner.” You respond, in a not so smooth way. You wince internally at how choppy your words come out, but make no further effort to fix it. By now, it’s Heeseung who’s holding the styrofoam boxes. Your job is done. “Do you live here?” 
He nods solemnly, a smile filled with a smidgen of pride dusted across his features. He loves this house- Heeseung’s been in it his entire life, and it’s obvious the memories that have stayed with him since childhood make him far from ashamed to say it’s where he’s grown up all these years. But you? Could you say the same thing about the simple abode you went home to everyday? 
Maybe not. Another reason why Heeseung had it perfect, and another reason to resent him. 
You sighed to ease the tension that had condensed between the two of you. His mom wondered what took him so long, and he wondered the same question. 
Before you’re about to turn away, he blurts, “Thanks for the food.” You turn around, nodding a silent ‘of course,’ and walking away. 
At that very moment, there was no reason to hate Lee Heeseung. But as you walked away and back to your house, you hated the calico cats and the gate you entered through the house he went back inside to. 
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The nostalgic board game high with your grandma does not last for long. As if the universe needed another reason to hate you, the unfortunate truth was that there was always more in store when you were subjected to a bad day, a bad week, or even a case of bad luck. You come back to the mahogany door to terrible news- your grandmother is sick. You rush out of her house the same day with the names of medicinal cures scribbled on a notecard and an urgency in your step. You buy her enough to last for the next few lifetimes, but it doesn’t matter. Anything healthy you could find in the fresh food aisle, you put in your cart, and when you came home, she was already up and sweeping the cold floors with a cough threatening to overwhelm her. 
Sometimes, you wish she didn’t overwork herself. You gently coerce her into laying on the couch, taking some of the medicine you got with a cup of warm water to ease her throat. She says nothing and you expect nothing in return for the last minute shopping you’ve done, but her eyes hold a sincere thankfulness that you know she will never speak aloud. When she’s retired to her bed, you finish unpacking the groceries and complete the mental task of chores your grandma would’ve exerted herself to finish independently. When you’ve finished, your hands are dry with soap and cleaning products, and your arms ache from the mopping, but the house is clean, and your grandma is sleeping well in the other room. You turn off the tv with one of her shows and switch off the light, heading back to your room and changing out of your clothes. By the time you crawl into your bed and charge your phone, the moon is the last thing you remember seeing before you fall asleep.
Monday comes unexpectedly, despite time still being on its course. You find yourself flipping through the cookbooks that littered the walls in your grandmother’s room, and in turn, the absolute urge to busy yourself in her passions manifested in the impulsive decision to work at her bakery. 
“Could- could I go work in the shop?” 
At first, her rejection was through scowls and furrowed eyebrows wondering why someone like you would want to fill their youthful summer days dusting surfaces with flour and kneading doughs instead of living the dream and swimming in turquoise waters. Her second rejection is easier to register. “I already have Hee helping me.” She states plainly, excusing the idea of two people in one room to run her business. Your nose scrunches up, and the temperature of your blood increases tenfold.
“Heeseung,” she clarifies, with almost too much enthusiasm. “He’s in your grade. Goes to your school, too.” She smiles, brushing a section of hair behind your ear and examining the imperfections on your skin. You frown, the obvious displeasure plastered on your features. It’s not hard to notice you don’t like what she just told you. “You don’t like him?”
“It’s whatever.” You tell her, shrugging away from her gaze and shrinking in on yourself. “I don’t care much for him.” 
What a lie! “It seems like you don’t like him.” She comments.
Of course you don’t like him. Heeseung is stuck up, arrogant, and looks past people like you- people who just aren’t as perfect as him. “I mean, why can’t I help you? Shouldn’t Heeseung….rest for the summer?” 
“It’s fine- he’s helped me out multiple times anyways.” She concludes, closing the book she was reading previously. “I wouldn’t mind you coming down to help, I’m sure 17 year olds like you and Hee can run things by yourself.” You raise an eyebrow at both of your names mentioned, but don’t speak out against her. 
You can run it by yourself, but you won’t, simply because your grandmother seems to have an affinity for some boy you just happen to hate. Plus, if Heeseung messes up, you get all the triple chocolate cake to yourself, so you’ll pray on his downfall until then. 
Wednesday morning is when you head over to the bakery, at a much earlier time than usual. The business doesn’t open until at least an hour later, and you spend the time preparing the mixing stands and covering the sweet rolls to be baked in a light sheen of oil. When the sun shines more vibrantly in the morning sky, and the cars honk at the traffic, a ruffled head of hair enters the building, and you’re very worried that you might’ve forgotten to lock the doors. “Sorry, we’re closed!” You yell out, but Lee Heeseung’s tuft of tinted hair is already in your vicinity. 
“The real question would be why you’re here, Miss _____.” He glances towards you, curiosity glazing his eyes over. You immediately scowl at his slightly teasing tone, one that could feel even condescending if he pushed that boundary just a bit more. Lee Heeseung might objectively be better than you in the eyes of an average high schooler, but frankly, you were just the same, and he had no right to sound that amused when you woke up and came here first. It’s 8:03am, and you already found just one more reason to hate him. 
You roll your eyes, knowing that with your back turned to him, he wouldn’t notice the obvious displeasure. “I can’t help out my grandma?” 
It’s so quiet in the place that you hear him suck on a breath behind you. “She’s your grandma?” 
“Did you not remember when I dropped off the food? Oh right, you probably wouldn’t spend your time on something so…,” you pause, racking your brain for a word you think he would use. “‘insignificant.’” 
Rustling. He takes a bowl and a carton of eggs. “Don’t put words in my mouth. Sorry, it’s just so difficult to believe you’re related to her.” Were you really that detached from your culture, or was Heeseung just mean? 
Lee Heeseung’s words get right under your skin, and it makes you see red. You frown in his direction, disregarding his words and moving on with your day.  “Yeah, my grandma is nice, I just don’t know why she thinks you’re a saint.”
“She thinks I’m a saint?” And you see something for the first time, something that’s akin to stars in his eyes, and the corner of his lips turn in satisfaction. He doesn’t even comment on how you’ve let it slip that you’re jealous of their relationship. 
“Maybe in your dreams.” 
“You just said-“ 
You feel like two cats about the fight behind a dumpster, before the door jingles, and someone walks into your conversation with Heeseung. 
“Sorry, is the shop not-?”
You rush to the counter before Heeseung does, counting it as a mental victory to take the first order. 
“It is! What would you like?” It’s something else you can tell your grandma when you get home- that you’ve been starting off all the work in the bakery, and you’re ‘not sure what Heeseung really does.’
The professionalism masks the irritation on his features, and you would’ve killed to see Lee Heeseung’s frown once more. 
When the customer is done telling you his order, you make sure he gets everything he needs, fully satisfied before the ring of the door is heard once more during his departure. The corner of your lip turns up into a grin, victorious as you childishly tease your co-worker. 
“I’m going to do the most around here, and I don’t need your pretty face getting in the way of things.” 
While he denies the rest, Heeseung doesn’t quite ignore what you said about his features. 
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When noon has passed, but the sun still glares down on everyone outside, you work just as hard as the white ceiling fan providing cool air for everyone inside. You work in silence, with a playlist filling the air and adding to the ambience, as you listen to your own music through your headphones. Heeseung works without interacting with you more than what needs to be done, and rarely asks for help. He doesn’t let people down; if anything, he exceeds their expectations, but never yours. It’s been like this since the beginning, and you’re convinced it’s something personal- some wrangle ever since you two learned what cooties were that lasted until now. 
“____,” He starts, turning to you. You glance at him, waiting for the boy to continue. “Can you make the brown sugar milk tea- it’s on the-“ 
“I know where it is.” You snip.
Heeseung makes the right choice (in your opinion) to say nothing as you proceed to grab a cup and open the container of boba pearls. After you’ve taken a few orders, you move to the back of the bakery to pull the tray of matcha sheet cake onto the counter to cool. 
“Have you seen the scissors?” Heeseung asks out of nowhere, startling you from the doorway. 
Reaching for the ones you used to cut the parchment paper with, you hand the pair to him and with a mumbled ‘thank you,’ he makes his leave.
In an odd way, you’re stunned by the silence that follows. A “you suck, _____!” would be more in character for villainous Lee Heeseung than whatever just happened. But you’re way too occupied with the bakery, and go back to cutting squares in the matcha cake. 
It’s the same for the next hour until the rush ends and you get a bit more time to yourselves between orders. Heeseung agrees to wash the dishes and you clean the tables to the sound of your playlist from the speakers. 
“You have good music taste.” Is the first thing that comes out of his mouth when he emerges. He wipes his hand on a white towel and you stare at him, utterly puzzled. Where’s the malice? Where’s his snarky comments?
“I’m waiting for you to tell me it’s not as good as yours, or something along those lines.” You deadpan. 
Heeseung rolls his eyes. “I’m not that mean, I can give a compliment or two when I feel like it.” 
“Oh, poor Lee Heeseung only has so much room in his heart to compliment people. How thankful should I be that you spend your daily supply of niceness on me?” You snap, cleaning off the tables. Your chest feels light and you don’t feel as angry as you did this morning, finding your digs to be more playful that serious
Blame it on the lack of sleep.
“I think you should be bowing down to me and only talking when I tell you to.” He jokes, and when you glance up, there’s a semblance of a smile on his face. “Anyways, when are you leaving?”
“Whenever you leave.” You tell him, shrugging. 
“Your grandma said she didn’t want you to stay too late but she also wanted me to take you home, and I think she’d throw a fit if you didn’t. You were dropped off this morning, right?”
“I’d die before getting into a car with you, Lee Heeseung.” 
“If I had to get into a car with you, that’s probably how I’d die.” He responds lightly. You furrow your eyebrows and rack your brain for some sort of retort that hurts Heeseung’s pride, but nothing comes up. 
“My driving skills are very good, I’ll have you know.” 
He jabs, “Didn’t think you had it in you.”
“How about, next time you come, you leave with your bumper falling off? Some bad driving, yeah?” 
Heeseung could start feeling dizzy if his eyes continue to roll around in his skull. “Sure, we’ll see what your insurance has to say about that.” 
The aroma of vanilla slips through the air, and momentarily distracts you as you make haste to get it from the ringing oven. Unfortunately, your enthusiasm spills over the rim, and when reaching inside, you feel the burn of the sheet cake as you leave it on the iron rack to cool. Heeseung doesn’t tear his eyes from the way you jump back, squeezing the tender skin between your fingers as you blow on it in puffs. 
“Are you okay? Here-“ He reaches for your hand, but gentle. “Let me see that.” Heeseung soothes the slight pain with his thumb running over the burn, and his breath cooling it down slowly. 
“I’m fine.” You tell him, slowly pulling your finger away. His gaze snaps back up at you, and you feel your disdain for him dwindle ever so slightly. Maybe the Heeseung that rushed to make sure you were okay isn’t so bad. 
“Right. You’ll be fine.” And he doesn’t know if it’s something he tells himself, or if he’s telling you, when he goes to get some ointment. 
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“A grad party? With Heeseung? Invited?” 
You can’t see him, but you almost hear Sunoo’s pout from the line. “Yeah, I don’t even know why you two fight anyways.” 
You huff, laying back down on your bed after Sunoo’s confession made you shoot up in surprise. “Have you seen him? He’s the most stuck-up annoying person ever.” 
Your friend hums. “To be honest, I don’t think you really know him.” 
“I know him plenty. And there’s nothing good about him, like, ever!” 
“You barely even talk to him, ____.” The last week proves differently, but you bite your tongue.
“I talk to him enough!” You’d defend yourself until the end of the earth. “He’s just…always around me- not like I even want him to, or he’s always hanging out with my friends, or-“
“Our friends.” 
“Well, not really.” You think hard. “They’re only friends because you and I are friends, so I’m friends with Heeseung in a distant obligatory way. And I need to keep it that way by not coming to this party.” 
“Come on!” Sunoo whines from the phone, and you laugh at his antics. “It’s a grad party, you’ll be too busy talking with everyone else to care anyways.” 
“Well, maybe for a bit.” 
“When’s the next time we’ll even be able to see each other anyways? Considering all of this college stuff.” 
You break his facade. “We’re literally going swimming in two weeks from now.” Sunoo laughs. “No, ____. Swimming is different from eating snacks and playing dumb board games.” 
He’s right, and you admit that it’ll be fun for something once last time. 
Maybe Heeseung won’t even show up. 
The next day at the bakery, you rush to ask him, almost too eager to know his answer. “Are you going to Sunoo’s party?” Please say no please please please-
“Of course. I’m his friend. You weren’t invited, or something?” His tone makes you want to light a fire on his head. 
“I’m his friend, too. I was the first person he talked to about it, so of course I was invited, and of course I’m going.” You say it as if the boy in front of you didn’t make you single handedly question your attendance last night. You say it like your demeanor never faltered, not even once. You say it like Heeseung had no say in the decision.
Because he definitely didn’t.
“I’ll see you there, then.” He smiles at you, a glint of evil in his eyes as he gauges your reaction. You return his scheming grin, frosting a slice of cake before walking out and calling the order number. When Heeseung emerges from the paper white curtains, he sees you engrossed in helping a customer pick out a few of the best options for ‘something not so sweet.’ 
When you’re done, you turn around to take a sip of your iced tea. “Really?” He starts, stirring some milk into a swirling shot of espresso. “The red bean cake is your definition of not too sweet?” Your ear-to-ear smile falls when you hear the off-handed comment from Heeseung, leaning against the counter with his taro milk tea, with close to no sugar. 
“I’m sure if they asked you, they would’ve walked out with a cake that tastes like a sponge.” You retaliate. You do your best not to look so affected, seeing as there were other people in the vicinity. It’s a bakery, you have to keep up the comforting atmosphere. 
“I don’t really think you’re the best person to offer advice for those kinds of things, unfortunately.” His tone snips at your resolve, and with every passing moment you stare at his lips and listen to his words, the more you wish to sew them together. 
“Sure, and they’ll be satisfied with eating basically paper? Your standards are also a little far-fetched.” You busy yourself with cleaning the cups and bowls from this morning, physically turning away from him. 
He walks past you and into the kitchen, but not before saying, “I’m sorry one of us has good taste.” 
You pray to every being that someone keeps Heeseung from speaking another insufferable word. 
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Sunoo’s house is as quaint as you remember, and although you don’t find yourself making the resemblance often, it suits him. With one hand occupied with holding a gift, and the other about to press the doorbell, you’re interrupted by an all too familiar voice. 
“I guess you did show up. Sucks to see my dreams didn’t come true.”
“I will throw this at you.” You motion to the neat basket in your hands.
Heeseung sighs dramatically, before continuing in the same feigned tone. “Would be a shame if Sunoo only had one gift from us.” 
“He’d understand.” You turn around to ring the doorbell, and Sunoo emerges, a bright smile on his face. He greets the both of you, and his quick side hug immediately reminds you of why you’re here. 
You will have a good time. And you won’t let any auburn haired boy ruin that. 
Despite being close to Sunoo, you’re not as close to the rest of his friends. He keeps his circle small, only with people he spends time with regularly. Which would be good for any other day, but for today, you feel almost like an outsider. Sunoo’s group of friends greet you all the same, and shower the boy behind you with affection. When you walk towards the kitchen, you catch some more of your mutual friends, and your nerves slowly ease away. You join their ongoing card game, an observer to it all as they yell in success or defeat. 
The group of people playing Taboo suddenly doubles as the six of Sunoo’s friends decide they want in. With the way you move to the floor, you’re so preoccupied with making sure there’s enough space for everyone and that all the cards are there, that you don’t realize where you’re sitting. 
Cross legged, on the ground, next to Lee Heeseung. 
You can’t get up, and you weakly protest against the many thoughts telling you that a game of Taboo with Lee Heeseung would get you so heated that everyone would see steam out of your ears by the end of the first round. 
“You know how to play?” Yuna starts to thumb through the cards, making sure all of them are placed in the right orientation. While the majority of you guys nod, a few of them shake their heads, and it prompts a quick explanation from Ryujin. 
“So, everyone gets a set of cards in a team of 3, and you have to describe it without using the words in the white box below. So for example, if my word is Vanilla, I can’t use the words bean, flavor, ice cream, extract, or chocolate.” She shows everyone the example card, and you all nod your heads. “Okay, now we divide into teams!” You tune out the rest of her words as she divides you all into sections based on where you’re sitting, and it leaves you with a twisting feeling. 
“Blue will be ____, Heeseung, and Jungwon!” 
Truly, was luck ever on your side?
You don’t have time to ponder just how horrible things are going, because Jungwon’s excitedly pulling you two close into a circle to discuss game plans. 
“Okay, just skip the cards you can’t answer, think about references rather than actual descriptions. Guys, the prize is good, Sunoo told me.” And the need to win anything reignites in your eyes, determination being your main motivation. 
Jake, Sunghoon, and Yuna go first, and guess four cards correctly. You feel the excitement coursing through the air like electricity, as everyone’s competitive spirit shows through. 
It’s finally your turn, and you volunteer to be the describer, picking up the cards with anticipation. You share a look with Heeseung and Jungwon, praying they share your wave of telepathy. 
First word- Engine. 
You scan through the words you’re not allowed to use, Jake watching over as your referee in case you slip up. 
“Okay, it’s the thing in the-“ You’re about to say car, but you pause, quickly trying to reevaluate your descriptions. The timer looms, and you feel panic settle in. “The thing that powers the…vroom vroom.” 
In Jungwon’s head, it clicks. “Engine!” You toss the card, reading the next. Egypt? 
“It’s a 3D thing, but it has three sides in north Africa.” 
“Pyramids.” Heeseung answers smoothly. 
You grin unknowingly. “Right-right, okay. Where is it?”
“Egypt.” 
“This is a Jesus related celebration-“ You continue, glancing at the hourglass as the sand slips through.
“Easter!” Jungwon says. “Christmas!” 
“The second one! It’s one of the little things you… put up!” 
“Stockings!” And you shake your head at Jungwon, goading them to think a bit more and guess. You glance up almost sheepishly, at a loss of words and stumbling over thoughts. Heeseung sighs, leaning back before looking at you again. 
“Oh, don’t look at me like that.” You huff, flicking at the card anxiously. 
“Like what? Like you can’t describe a simple word?” 
“Oh, as if you could-“
“Ornament!” And with that, the timer ends. You glare at Heeseung, hard, and if you were anything like Superman, you really would’ve burned holes through his skull. Thankfully, with Jungwon was your mediator, you don’t say anything snarky back at him, staying silent as the other groups go. 
The first round tension eases as the night carries on. As Jake and Sunghoon score 7 cards in one round, it prompts you, Heeseung, and Jungwon to come together, a jittery feeling as you sip from a can of soda and pray your brain works in tandem with both of them. 
Remembering Heeseung’s your describer, you sink in your seat a little, feeling hopelessness consume your mind- but Jungwon doesn’t let you sulk as he cheers Heeseung on. “Last round!” He says, a sparkle in his eye. The teams are so close, and despite your team having the lowest points by being the last group to go, you know you can score the 6 points needed to beat Ni-ki, Ryujin, and Sunoo. 
The hourglass is flipped, and you hold your breath. 
“Naturally occuring formation,” he says smoothly, glancing at you and Jungwon. “Hot stuff.” 
It clicks. “Volcano!” Jungwon smiles, feeling victory running through his veins. Heeseung’s lip curls up. 
“It’s the saying with too many people, ‘three’s a..” He waits for you both to finish the line. 
“Crowd!” Heeseung and you smile at each other as he continues to rush through the cards, briefly glancing over to the timer. 
He falters slightly, before lighting up. “When you’re excited, you’re on ____ 9.” You finish it quickly, burning holes into the back of his cards before he continues. You have to win. 
“Jungwon, we played this game in 2020 on Discord with the guys!” 
“Among Us.” and you laugh at the references he makes to win.
“____, it’s the 60% thing you like at the bakery.”
Your breath hitches, and you almost forget to answer until you see the way he’s looking at you. 
“Chocolate.” You mumble, and he cracks a grin again, relieved to get it in only four seconds. 
With the way he looks at the words and furrows his eyes, you worry that the sand will slip through the hourglass completely before he can finish explaining the sixth and final word. 
Heeseung chooses to deviate from the normal meaning of the words, and chooses to use a different meaning of it in order to not risk using a word on his unavailable list. “When something is more spicy than you expect, you say it has a little something to it.” 
Your heart is beating wildly, and you’re barely in the same spot as you were when you first started, leaning over and closer to Heeseung’s curly fringe. “Kick!” you yell out, and the room explodes in commotion, carefully counting the tallies under every team name. Yeji sighs as she marks down your final tally, and you stand up, all in a group hug before you even realize it. You watch Heeseung, looking up at the way his eyes are closed and his smile’s wide. The adrenaline keeps you jumping with your partners, unaware of how Sunoo observes the carefree way you cling onto his friend, and the supposed bane of your existence. When you two finally stop cheering at your long awaited victory, you shoot Heeseung a glance, noticing how he’s already looking at you with the same gears turning in his head. Although you’ve created space, he’s zoned out, and you can tell he hasn’t noticed that you two once again make eye contact. It takes a raised eyebrow from you for him to look elsewhere, absentmindedly tonguing the inside of his cheek, feeling almost embarrassed to have been so close. 
There’s a bubbling feeling in your stomach whenever you think about how he remembered- how Lee Heeseung pays attention to the little things. You push it down, because it’s nothing more than what coworkers do for each other. He’s cordial, as always. That’s all it is.
“Didn’t seem like you hated Heeseung much.” Sunoo comments, a smile puffing up his cheeks. You roll your eyes, helping him pick up some of the stray trash from the floor after the party is over. 
“Don’t even!’ You start, debating if you should throw a Dorito in his face. “It’s just for the games, he was literally insufferable every other minute.” 
Sunoo is unfortunately the victim to your back-and-forth, trying for you to see with reason but falling short to your simple petty nature. He fails to see how Heeseung has treated you, but deep down, you see it. You see the occasional stare Heeseung finds himself in with you, the frown on his features or the way he always carries himself  as if he’s somehow better than you. It’s exasperating how easily he surpasses you, and always glances back to make sure you know. The looks he gives you are deceptive, and you basically see his thoughts laid out in front of him before he turns away. You swear to Sunoo that he has it out for you, always trying to boost that inflated ego of his by showing you how much better he is at anything. 
“How are you so sure Heeseung just wants to rub it all in your face? Well, wait.” He pauses, tying a trash bag closed. “Why do you look at him so much that you catch him staring?” 
Oh. You think about it, truly emptying your brain to find a proper answer, but deep down, there was none to be found. 
“I don’t know, Sunoo,” you huff. “He just always looks at me.” 
“Maybe he wants to be friends.” 
Violently shaking your head, you smash in a water bottle, feeling a flash of confusion pass through you. “Why would he want to be friends with me? To show he’s such a nice and caring person?” The boy on the receiving end sighs, slumping to the floor in the kitchen. You stare at him, watching how Sunoo deflates before going to wash his hands in the sink. “You’re insufferable.” He calls out, laughing quietly. 
A frown makes its way onto your features unknowingly, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you truly put yourself in your friend’s shoes. 
Surely, Sunoo sees what you mean, right? There’s just no way Heeseung would want to be friends with you either- it’s not like you treat him any better than he treats you. Plus, Heeseung has had it out for you, always by your side for the best and for the worst times, somehow dampening your mood in both. 
Right?
After a tight hug from Sunoo and your efforts to lift his mood after a long day, you get in your car, a random song from your playlist coursing through the stuffy air. 
There is mutual hatred- well, maybe not hatred, but dislike. A definite dislike between you and some part time bakery employee who also happens to be the worst boy you’ve ever met. 
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You’re beginning to think that this feud between you two is a small flame that you’re shoveling piles of wood into, igniting from your own hands. 
You have no idea how to prove it, though. You can’t let yourself look like an idiot by simply being nice to him if he really has it out for you and hates you- or else he’ll get some sort of upper hand. 
Your plan goes like this; You’ll give Lee Heeseung one chance to prove himself as an arrogant and selfish person, and when it happens, it’ll be true solid evidence you have to dislike him. It’ll prove that Lee Heeseung hasn’t changed one bit, and that you were always right in your beliefs. 
You trust the universe will help you out one time, and pray for the best. 
So that’s why, when your grandmother invites you to join her at the Lee’s once again, you agree, finally getting to try not just the leftovers of Mrs. Lee’s delicious galbi recipe. 
And that’s how you're standing in front of his doorstep with a welcome mat under your feet, and a porcelain cat staring up at you from the porch. 
You hear the commotion that follows your knock, and you're greeted with a warm smile from whom you can only assume is Heeseung’s mother. After she invites you in, you meet the rest of the family, and make sure your grandmother has taken a seat. Heeseung glances at you from the stairs, before wordlessly joining the table, quickly grabbing bowls in the kitchen before coming to sit down. Everyone interacts, and you’re stuck smiling and shaking hands with his father and bowing to his grandmother, asking if there’s anything you can do to help. 
When his mother brings the steaming aromatic food over, your eyes light up. “Here, Heeseung, sit next to ____!” 
Your smile drops. 
He takes the empty seat next to you, flashing you a grin. “Long time no see.” You roll your eyes, with the distance between the two of you closer than ever, you lean over to make sure your grandma gets plenty of cabbage kim-chi and warm sauces with her rice, helping her whenever necessary. By the time you sit back down, your bowl already is full of food. You glance over at the culprit.
Heeseung just shrugs when you raise an eyebrow, muttering a thank you before digging in. 
“I hear you’re planning to attend the same university as Heeseung.” His mother’s words cause your eyes to widen, choking slightly on your bite before you feel someone’s hand on your back. “You okay, ____?” And the mirth in his eyes tells you he finds your reaction funny.
You shake your head in earnest, feeling yourself lose even more passion for school. She continues, reaching for some grilled meats with her chopsticks. “It’s exciting, isn’t it? You two are basically neighbors, and you’re always super hard working. Maybe Heeseung could learn a thing or two, since I hear so much about how you help out your grandma.”
You’re pleased to hear she likes you, but it all comes out at once, and her confessions leave you in surprise. You glance over at the boy next to you, hoping to gain some wicked satisfaction from it all, but what you see leaves you with a dejected look. Heeseung’s gaze is steely, and you notice the almost glare his mom sends her son after saying it. He feels small, unlike the confidence that surrounds him after test scores or when he got admitted into his colleges. Something doesn’t feel right, and it leaves a sour feeling on your tongue when you try to make yourself bigger than him. 
“Heeseung has always done well. I’m sure he’ll continue to do well both at the bakery and in school.” You don’t mean to disagree with her, but it’s true. You hate to admit it, at least to his face, but Heeseung’s worked just as hard or harder than everyone else. He tilts his head in confusion as to why you’d voice something like that, and you roll your eyes, hoping that he never brings it up again.  
You continue to talk with his mother, laughing at her comments and going along with whatever she has to say, no matter how traditional her views might be. You thank her profusely for the meal, and she waves you off with a bashful look. ‘It’s nothing,’ she communicates through her laughs and small hug when you two are about to leave.
“See!” Your grandma says on the walk back, as you carry tupperware of marinated meats and soup. “Hee isn’t so bad after all.” 
“I guess.” You really have nothing else to tell her, not wanting to ruin the delicate moments between you two as the sun casts down a slim glow. “He didn’t really say much.” 
His mom, however, made you realize just why Heeseung performs at the standard he does- because he really has no choice but to be the best, or to accept failure in front of his parents’ eyes. It’s a corrosive treatment, one that slowly digs away at anyone’s ability to be passionate about truly anything. 
She changes the subject. “How’s the bakery?” 
You want to tell her that Heeseung is annoying, that he runs around always telling you to do things, that he’s always too busy covered in flour and coconut cream to help you out. You want to tell her that you hate Heeseung, and that your quality of life decreases whenever he’s around. He messes with you, sends jokes and digs your way, and you don’t know how to get him out of there faster. 
“Heeseung’s fine. I know he’s a big help to you.” And maybe, he’s become a big help to you, too. 
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There is one thing you’re not sure you can perfect- macarons. 
They’re dumb, take so little ingredients yet such precision- and to be honest, do they even taste that good? In your personal opinion, they’re nothing amazing, and honestly, the scraps of chocolate cake that you don’t use for cake pops serves you well. 
The night before, you and Heeseung both mutually agreed to stay for a bit longer, starting on the macarons so neither of you would mess up tomorrow morning in a rush. It’s a large order, and you get them relatively often. You try to get tips from your grandmother the night before that, writing them down in your phone and making sure you listen to every piece of advice she says. You write down the last thing in your notes, ominously typed out in bold text. “don’t overdo it.” it reads, and you stay up watching videos on how other people make them look so perfect. 
Staying late for the shift meant you shifted your routine by a few hours- showering later, eating a bit later, and sleeping less than you should’ve. You were tired already, but the extra work only added to it, making you feel less and less confident in every piped macaron. 
The alarm reads 8:00am, a criminally late hour if you want to get to work on time. Sending a quick apologetic text to your coworker, you rush out of the house, driving as carefully as you can to make it there while scraping as much time off as you can. Rushing in, you see Heeseung, leaning over and assessing your yellow batch. If the grid you used was supposed to be a 5 by 11 sheet, then there should be 55 macarons- but you notice, in a few places, there are missing confections. 
One culprit. “How childish do you have to be to eat the ones I’ve made?” The immediate accusation has Heeseung looking up at you, straightening his back to narrow his eyes. 
“Some of your macarons were hollow shelled.” 
“What, so you go and throw them away without even asking me?”
Heeseung hates how the mood is immediately dampened, finding himself getting more heated around you. “We literally need 25 of each- only four of yours were hollow- I had to start making another batch because I didn’t want to risk mine being hollow, too.” He tries to explain, tapping his fingers on the counter. Your skin feels hot- how dare he mess with the batch you already worked so hard to pipe and fold? If you were to fish out the shells from the trash right now, you would be positive that they weren’t even that empty. You grab one of the tools from near the sink, going to inspect his red ones. 
His attempt to make himself look human is shattered when you notice that none of his, are in fact, hollow like how he presumes they were. 
“You didn’t even check yours!” You exclaim, feeling targeted. 
He rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t even matter who’s batch it was- why do you care so much that I was trying to help you out because you were late today?” 
That- that was your reason. Lee Heeseung once again spelt trouble, by meddling in your macarons when you could’ve so easily examined them yourself. He turns around to start washing the utensils in the sink, as you stand there and seethe. Blame it on the sleep, or on the stress of rushing out this morning, but all of it makes you walk out of the building, feeling the hot tears fill your waterline before they spill and cascade down your skin. 
You worked so hard to make them- and even if they weren’t perfect, even if what he had to say was right, you just wished you could’ve seen it for yourself. You haven’t worked there much prior to the summer, and macarons have always been something you’ve wanted to nail, so to see Heeseung set the standard according to his own feelings and just throw out the ones you wanted to see- well, it hurts. It’s a jab at your pride, at all the effort you’ve put into learning and watching videos, sacrificing sleep to listen to people croak advice after advice on one of the greatest baking feats. It hurts to see once again that you’ve failed to be like Heeseung, and that he took matters into his own hands by assessing your tray for you
Fishing out your phone, you look for one contact to offer comfort. “Grandma?” You ask, sinking down to rest your head on your knees without sitting on the cement. You’re next to your car, not wanting to go through the efforts of finding your keys. 
“What’s wrong?” She asks immediately after hearing your sniffle, and you tell her. You tell her about how your shells were uneven, and how you worked so hard for them, and how Heeseung threw them away before you could even see for yourself. She understands your pain, and tells you that no one can perfect something as difficult as macarons- and that during spring break, she had seen Heeseung go through the same thing. It helps, just a little, to know that he started from the same place as you, too. You calm down with her further reassurance, and wipe your puffy eyes before coming back in. You’re afraid the patrons will notice something’s up, and ignore Heeseung’s worried looks to pat cold water onto your eyelids in hopes of helping them look less red.
He sees all of it- Heeseung Isn't stupid, he knows what he’s done, but he can’t get himself to apologize. And as you knew, he went through the same heartbreaking process, and in his thorough reassessment of the situation, he doesn’t know why he didn’t see it from your perspective until you stormed out. 
‘I'm sorry,’ he writes on the bag of lemon curd he made for your macarons. But it does little to salvage your disposition for today. You ignore him, never asking for any help, or any opinion even in the times you usually would. It’s quiet throughout the whole day, like a gray cloud has dampened the colors in the sky, and you clock out at exactly the right time after everything is done, put away, and cleaned. you refuse to leave a mess for Heeseung to point out, but you leave feeling angry, sad, but mostly, disappointed. 
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The next day, you arrive at the bakery to find Heeseung sipping from a dangerously large cup of instant boba and taro milk. His eyes dart up to witness all of your struggling glory carrying a shipment that came to the house instead of the shop. In a hurry, he grabs a few boxes from the top and sets them down on the counter, and whatever you were carrying follows suit. He treats you as if you didn’t fight, as if you two aren’t filling the room with tension the more you steal glances at each other. He grabs his drink, one that he’s prepared 15 minutes ago, and finishes almost another quarter of it in one long sip.
You want to tease him for how much taro he’s had when it’s barely 8 o’clock, but it’s not the right time. Days like this are always slow, only dragged out longer by the silence and lack of tasks. The awkward silence between you two fuels him to grab scissors and start opening the boxes. 
“I thought your grandma might’ve told you I could handle it.” Heeseung comments, refilling the crushed water and oreo toppings. “I was checking the delivery updates pretty often.”
“Not often enough,” you snap. You fight back a glare, and proceed to open up your own box of extracts. “I’m her granddaughter. Maybe you should go enjoy summer with your friends. Don’t you have a beach trip to thirst trap at or something?” It’s meant to be an insult, but Heeseung quietly chuckles, finding it a little funny. 
“Yes, we are having a beach trip soon. But i already told your grandma I’ll work in the morning before your aunt comes to take over.” You frown, wondering why your grandma never reaches out to you and asks you to help.
With emphasis on the syllables in his name, you fire back, “Let’s be clear, Heeseung, she wants my help much more than she needs yours.” He glares, stirring a cup with his eyebrows furrowed and lips curled down in distaste. 
“I’m sure that’s why she was so enthusiastic about coming over to our house and talking to me.” It’s your turn to scowl, and you’re afraid Heeseung’s comments will only take years off your life and produce wrinkles on your face much quicker. 
“Funnily enough, I heard she didn’t want you working there at all.” You cross your arms to look at him as a way to further your point. 
He responds defensively. “Yeah. as if.” Even the way Heeseung rolls his eyes at you is annoying. “She just wants me around more than you.” 
You can’t feel offended, especially when his tone is so light. It probably isn’t even true- how much your grandmother prefers Lee Heeseung over you, just like anyone else. The feeling burns you and you shrink away from the heat of the sudden fire accompanied by the implications of his words. Heeseung catches on to the sudden shift in your demeanor. 
“Hey, I didn’t mean that.” He tries to apologize, watching you carefully.
The flames leave you angry with his response, feeling once again belittled by him. “Bullshit. Are you glad you’re the favorite for every single person you know?” 
His eyebrows furrow, feeling the bite of your words, and the mood instantly changes. “That’s not what I meant, ____.” 
You roll your eyes. “Of course that’s not what you meant, Heeseung. Of course you’re the one who’s perfect, and I’m simply the one who misinterprets all of it. Of course you have never had a bad intention ever and you are loved by everyone. Why can’t you just go? Do you really have to take one more thing away from me and make it your own?” The years of resentment pile up in the words you throw at him, and the built up wall you’ve created finally shows just why you should despise him so much. “Or was it not your intention to do that either?” 
It’s too early, to be honest, to be fighting like this, and you’re definitely saying things that you’re going to regret. But you’re tired of being second to him- tired of never getting the recognition you so badly deserved from those who you actually wanted to hear it from. You’re tired of never being heard by your teachers, getting grades that swoop right under a certain someone’s. All on purpose. (right?)
Despite the sudden urge to bicker with you about how you think everything is about you, and how you’ve never given him a chance, the boy beside you is observant to how hurt you sound being so vulnerable. Heeseung finds himself trying to rethink the past ten years of shared childhood experiences. He’s never really thought about what he’s done to deserve such resentment from you, but the more he says silent, the more he realizes that he’s always so graciously soaked up praise from everyone, and because of it, you were always left sulking in his shadow. 
“I’m sorry.” But it’s more than that. 
You feel stupid for expecting anything deeper. “Is that all you have to-“
He cuts you off, trying to articulate the words and form reason. “No, there’s more. God- let me just think.” You hear how badly he needs to get it out, and you stay quiet, having let all of your anger out already. 
“I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m not going to apologize for all of the things I’ve achieved,” he says firmly. “Because that’s never how things were for me- I have no reason to feel bad about what I did.” And you can respect him for standing his ground in a situation full of misunderstanding. “I never did it to hurt you, and I never did it to get in your face and show I was better. But I’m sorry for hurting you unintentionally. I’m sorry I never realized that those things were just as important to you, and I’m sorry for always assuming the worst when we’d talk. I’m sorry I never apologized, and held all of this against you, and made this thing between us worse than it was supposed to be. And, I’m sorry, too, about the macarons. That was stupid. I really should’ve known.”
You feel overwhelmed, your mind trying to undo the years of built up feelings towards him under the assumption that he meant to do those things. “I thought you did it because you genuinely didn’t want to see me happy. Like that time you did the extra credit in biology just so you could score better than me.” You breathe, words coming out without really realizing what you’re saying. “Or like that time in first grade where you spilled your applesauce on me, and never apologized. I kept thinking, what the fuck did I do to deserve it? What had I done to make you feel like we had to compete?” Your open ended questions continue to resonate within your co-worker’s mind, and the more you ramble, the more he sees just how twisted he looks. 
“In first grade, that was because the boys said I’d get cooties if I went to talk to you. Believe me, ____, I tried. But every single time I try to fix things between us, you never let me, I swear.” 
It’s your turn to be confused, swearing that you never saw him apologize. “When have you ever tried to be nice to me?” 
“I tried to let stuff go. Like all the little things we’d say about each other- I tried to understand why you were always so unhappy around me. But you always said I was meddling in your business or that I just wanted to find another way to get under your skin.” 
It settles, then, the realization that you’ve turned him into the villain a bit more than you should’ve. You know there’s always been mutual dislike- there are certain times where you know Heeseung had it out for you, with his sneers, his comments or the way he’d smile at your defeat- but you weren’t a saint either. There were other times that maybe, he wasn’t out to get you, but you were always so consumed with the idea of hating Lee Heeseung that you hated the idea of him being a decent person, too. 
“I’m sorry,” You say, leaving your emotions to witness. “I really should’ve paid attention to your genuine efforts back then, too.”
And you’re not the only one who’s at a loss for words this time. Heeseung is in uncharted territory, unsure of how to process the way you’re apologizing, and being so open. And he’s antagonized you too; made you out to be a mood killer and party pooper in every event imaginable, despising the idea of being around you because you two always disagree somehow. 
“But, why do you do it? Why do you come here if it’s really anything personal?” 
He answers in the only way he sees fit. “I want to help her out, she’s always cooked for our family, she’s let me come over a few times, just little things for my family and I. I never meant to take your grandma away from you like that, I promise. She’s just so kind, and she cares so much about me, so of course I want to care for her, too. I just didn’t think it’d be at the expense of you.”
Despite still feeling hurt, you nod, trying to be mature and talking about it rather than burying it deep. “All I hear about is how she wants you to come, and how she never needs my help anymore because she has you already volunteering. It’s like I barely mean anything to her.” Your words sting for Heeseung, but not because there’s any anger directed at him. Heeseung feels a pang of relatability in his chest, the inability to ever be enough for those around you gnawing away at your self-esteem. 
He shakes his head, begging you silently to understand. “She doesn’t want you to work so hard.” He starts, running a hand through his hair. “She tells me about how she’s worried if you’re eating, or if you’re stressed. She’s watched you through-out your whole life, ____. All she’s ever wanted was for you to finally enjoy the summer you worked so hard for.”
“I just wish it felt that way.” You admit.
To hear such high praise from his lips feels foreign- the idea of Lee Heeseung noticing how hard you’ve worked, realizing the amount of effort you’ve put into your standing and accomplishments, it’s weird. You know he understands completely how stressful it’s all been, considering he was stuck to your side the whole time in highschool whether you liked it or not. Lee Heeseung has worked hard, if not harder, than you, and for him to be able to admit that is so much different than what your perception of him would think. It’s awkward to meet his gaze, and his small smile eases the tension a little when you laugh at his attempt to soothe things out. 
“I feel dumb, for thinking so horribly of you. I honestly never thought you looked at me like I was an equal, just someone you could surpass.” He shakes his head, about to reach out and grab your wrist before he realizes just how intimate it would be. 
“You’re not dumb, _____. You never have been. I’ve always looked up to you.” 
There are knots in your chest- the ones that make it feel as tight and hard to breathe as you do right now- that slowly become untangled the more he speaks of you. His words undo them, little by little, and even if it takes a long time to fix the rift between you two, at least you know you have help. 
Internally, your heart begs you to ask. “Why do you even care?” 
He pauses, mulling over his words, and looking for a proper response. “I don’t know.” He sighs. “I just want to, we’ve been around each other since we were kids, and if there was someone who I’d hope to have by my side, whether or not we’re close, it was you.” 
Your breath hitches at his confession, and your mind runs in a hundred different directions, without ever expecting those words to tumble from his lips. You promise yourself to do things differently from now on, not trusting your words to continue the conversation. 
“We should finish unpacking.” And the rest is that. 
When you two leave to go home, the old tension feels different- lighter, almost. As much as you know he would do things to get on your nerves, never understanding just why you were so negative and brooding around him, your perception of him wasn’t the best, either. And still, you may be a bit mad at him, and not exactly friendly, but at least you’ve both let go of the unspoken baggage.  
When you sit in the passenger seat, you’re less inclined to turn away and face the window, and make small talk with the radio on. 
Things aren’t perfect- the years of hurt he’s done to you doesn’t dissipate in a day, but it’s getting better, and you can only hope it continues that way. 
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A week passes between the two of you, and time flows easier now that you two talked things out. You don’t dread going to work, and you didn’t refuse when he offered to buy food on the way home a few days ago. Sure, some topics between you two are sore, and you’re not best of friends, but it’s light years ahead of what it was like before. 
You can never truly get rid of the banter between you two- there are clever insults you’ve crafted in your head that you love to see his reaction to, and you’re just the right person for Heeseung to bicker with. 
“Do you ever stop drinking that soy milk?” Your coworker asks. You nurse your cup, keeping it close as you rush to defend your end of shift drink. “You’re like, a baby.”
“It’s lactose free. And a very good basic drink.” You explain, frowning at yet another large cup of taro tea he holds in his hands. “Your drink probably tastes like nothing.” 
He holds it out, and you raise an eyebrow. “Just use the same straw,” he insists. You truly don’t mind, but it’s so weird now to know that Heeseung, like, your friend. But you take a sip anyways, cringing at how your suspicions were right- There’s barely a hint of sweetness in there. 
“Don’t make that face!” He comments when you grimace, and also feels the need to protect his opinion on 15% sweet options. 
“Anyways,” you change the subject, determined to get him to see your sweet tooth ways. “Help me make some creme brûlée for my grandma. I’ve never tried.” And he sets his cup down, and for the first time possibly, Heeseung joins you to do something. 
“It should be easy, right?” He says, and with a look of determination, you set off. 
“Heat the cream.” You tell him, reading the instructions from your phone. 
He retorts lightly, “So rude.” and you turn around to scoff, all in good fun. 
“You’re insufferable.” And he tilts his head, offering you a small pouty smile when he turns on the stove. 
The mood feels so much less stuffy than it did before when he says, “Must suck to always hate me like how you do.” 
“I have an egg yolk in my hand that i’m willing to throw at you.” He chuckles, and peers over at your bowl. 
“You’re pretty good at that.” He notes, and you fight the urge to beam at his compliment for your yolk-separation skills. After he’s poured in enough cream, he grabs the sugar and a measuring spoon, fishing your phone out from beside you and reading the measurements. 
He adds so much less than what the recipe says, and you only know this because when you glance over, the scale reads a number much lower than 65 grams. 
“Heeseung,” You call out, in a playfully stern manner, and the boy in question turns around like he’s been caught. “Bring back the sugar.” 
“We’ve run out.” He says, the lie appearing as a wide smile on his face. Unconvinced, you walk over, and in turn, he holds the jar up out of your reach. You refuse to reach for it, knowing that the boy in front of you is much taller, but also that you don’t want to break the glass with some horseplay.
Your voice goes from demanding to reasoning. “Give it back. God, I can’t stand you and all of your low sugar preferences. The sugar is literally needed for the texture!” He simply shakes his head, walking over to add just one more unmeasured spoonful. “You didn’t even weigh it.” 
Heeseung mocks you- a high-pitched and garbled version that follows the intonation of your words, and you let out a surprised scoff at his immaturity. Getting a whisk, you make sure the newly added sugar is fully dissolved. He returns with the pot of cream that bubbles slowly, with an oven mitt around the hot handle. Without a look in your direction, Heeseung holds out his arm between you and the heated cream, and it really doesn’t do much- but yet, at the same time, it does. It’s something he does subconsciously; and something you do your best not to pay attention to in order to properly reach for the whisk.
He slaps your hand away lightly, and you mumble an ‘ow!’ in response. “Don’t touch that. Let me whisk it. It’s hot.” He reprimands gently.
Yeah, you’re still doing your best not to pay attention to it. 
When the mixture transforms from a deep yellow to a pale banana color, he leans down and checks the side of the bowl for any egg and sugar he’s missed. “Here,” you reach out. “Let me get the pot.” Heeseung glances up, and shakes his head quickly.
“No it’s okay-“ and it happens quickly, the hand that was whisking leaves to swat your hand away, but it instead makes contact with the rim of the metal appliance when he doesn’t pay attention to where his hand is placed. Although Heeseung only hisses quietly at the pain, you immediately feel bad. 
“Just give it to me,” you demand, and pry the pot out of his hand to let him nurse his wound, leaving it in the sink and quickly going to the medicine cabinet for burn relief cream- the same one you used a few weeks ago. After you grab it, you return to him, reaching out your hand and waiting for him to show you the puffy red skin. 
He slowly puts his hand on your palm, and you twist around his finger to apply the ointment, doing your best to spread it without pressing too hard. 
“Thank you.” 
You glare. “Don’t hold hot things if you’re not fully attending to them.” And he puts his hands up in surrender, taking a step back. 
“I’ll be preparing your ramekins, boss.” The nickname has a nice ring to it. 
When it’s done, the creme brûlée comes out with a slight wobble in the middle, indicating a well-cooked perfection. “Grab the blowtorch!” You shove him into the direction of where it is, and he complies. You sprinkle sugar over five of the six dishes, using a spoon to shape the sugar in the last dish into a heart since you thought it looks cute. 
Heeseung comes back from your right, leaning over to watch you intently. “A heart? You make it seem like you’re in love, or something.” He jokes, evading a jab with your right elbow. 
“Shut up.” 
“You shut up.”
“You argue like a-“ you’re about to finish your sentence with ‘child,’ but when you turn your head (in hopes that saying it directly would add more emphasis), you’re face to face with Heeseung, with a proximity between you two that’s far less than expected. 
He takes a quick step away, and you glance somewhere else with a nervousness in your eye. 
Neither of you say anything, not really sure if you should apologize or if he should, and you return to your current task, a small churning turning in your stomach. You take a step back to let him caramelize the sugar, and he holds the blowtorch with his non-burned hand. 
It’s good, is the only thing you think when you crack the sugar and scoop a bit, admiring the texture. When you and Heeseung finished one each, you begin to clean up and wash the equipment you used. 
“It’s late, _____. I’ll take you home.” He states the obvious, and for what?
“How else am I supposed to get back?” You laugh, and in response, he shrugs. 
“Just a reminder as to which one of us is so graciously kind to drive you too and from the bakery almost everyday.”
“If I had a choice, I could’ve easily taken my own car. You know my grandma needs it for her errands. Like her Wednesday bingo night, or whatever.” He chuckles, holding the door open and unlocking the car. 
Being in the same space as Lee Heeseung isn’t as excruciating as how it used to be- and now, it’s just an opportunity for you to finally ask your burning questions. 
“Heeseung, I’m just curious. How did you even meet my grandma?” 
He furrows his eyebrows. “I think it was the mailbox,” he starts, trying to remember. “She dropped her mail, and it blew out into the street, so I went to get it for her. And on the walk back, she just started asking me questions. Apparently she and my mom were closer than I thought.”
“And that’s how you started working?” 
“First, it was community service. Just using the cash register- since we’re cashless, it’s nothing illegal to have me manage orders.”
“And she just thought you were an angel from the get-go, or something?” 
“Who doesn’t?” And you glare, mocking him like what he did to you earlier. Heeseung’s lips curl into a grin at your antics, never taking it to heart. 
“Me, obviously.” And it’s a half-lie, because secretly, Heeseung isn’t so bad. 
“Well,” he starts, motioning. “I don’t think there’s anything I do or could do that you’d like.” 
You splutter, “That’s not true!” And he raises an eyebrow at your indignant words. 
“Name one thing that you like about me.” 
“No!” You refuse, crossing your arms. “You already have a large enough ego from the teachers.” 
Heeseung rolls his eyes at you, tapping his hands tapping on the wheel impatiently. “That’s lame, ____. You’re just further proving my point.” 
With a sigh, you tell him, “I like how you helped us win in Taboo.” And he gives you a look. 
“Cop-out.” 
“What-? No!” Emptying your brain, you try to find something you truly like about the boy who makes life a living hell- or, well, used to (he still kind of does). “Okay, fine. I like that you care about my grandma.” 
Heeseung stays kind of quiet, not really sure what to do now that you’re once again being sincere. “Well, she’s like- the only person who doesn’t expect something from me.” 
Confusion floods your thoughts. “What do you mean?”
“I’m grateful for everyone in my life,” He prefaces. “But it’s no fun having to always work for people’s approval, sometimes, I wish that someone could just appreciate me for me, and that’s how your grandma is. No expectations with her. She’s just happy I’m still around- which, I know, is bare minimum, but at least I don’t have to try so hard for her to like me.” The light turns green, and the car rumbles as he slowly accelerates.
You mull over his confession. “Do I expect something from you then, too?”
“You expect me to perform well, because I always have- and therefore, I have to do well, or else you’ll just rub it in my face.” He states plainly, and you grimace for the second time today. 
“Sorry, I won’t do that anymore.” Heeseung waves you off. 
“It’s no big deal- plus, you weren’t the only one who thought I’d do well all the time. It’s something everyone thought of me. If anything, you were the one who just motivated me to always work harder.” 
“But isn’t that a good thing? To be the best?” 
He shakes his head and when you take a good look at him, Heeseung has a glassy look in his eye. “Sometimes, yes. A lot of the time, no. I just want to do well without anyone forcing that on to me. I don’t want the expectation to be perfect, because then, it’s so much easier for me to stumble.” You don’t realize just how much weight Heeseung carries on his back from the words of his peers and his family. And to you, he resembles a diamond; perfect, but from pressure. 
“Well, from now on, I won’t expect it from you. And if I do better, then I won’t rub it in your face. So that’ll make two people you won’t have to worry about.” The response he gives you is non-verbal, but his change in expression is first laced with surprise, and then silent appreciation.
“Thanks,” he says, once again at a loss for words. “I appreciate it.” 
You send Heeseung a smile, understanding how it feels to always have to do good. You can only hope that he gets his break from the pressure before he burns out. 
“Oh, I should tell you now. I can’t make it next Friday. I have plans, and I’d figure I’d let you know now so you could find someone to replace me.” He announces. When he looks over to see your response, you nod in understanding.
“What are you doing?” 
“Grad party.” Heeseung says plainly. “It’s Jake’s, so if I’m hungover, I’ll try to let you know if I’ll be good by morning.” 
“So considerate.” You comment, albeit a bit teasing. He scoffs, making the final turn before reaching your house. “To be expected from someone like you.”
“Someone like me?” He questions. “And what kind of person am I?”
“Someone who’s going to have to work alone for the next two weeks if he doesn’t shut up.” He laughs, his eyes scrunching up as unlocks the car. “Thanks for the ride.” 
“Of course, ____.”
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A few days go by, but one morning, you walk outside to see Heeseung parked in his car, scrolling on his phone- and it takes you walking up to him to roll the window down. 
“You didn’t even text me you were coming,” you start, pouting slightly. 
Heeseung pats the passenger side. “Just- get in, will you?” And you comply, never one to refuse a free trip to work. 
“So why today?” You ask, fiddling with your fingers and bag. “You usually never pick me up on Thursdays.”
“Since it’s your grandma’s birthday and all, I figured I could just pick you up, and drop you off. She called me yesterday asking to come over, and invite my parents, too. And they couldn’t come because of a work trip, but I promised her.” 
You stay silent. “Fuck, that’s today?” And Heeseung laughs- not at you, just at the situation. 
He nods, eyes still glued to the road. “Have you decided what you want to get her?”
“Flowers, definitely. Probably these treats she’s been thinking about getting from the store. I have this really nice collection of kitchen appliances that I know she’ll like.” And you’re rambling, but Heeseung makes no effort to stop you. “She loves to peel stuff by hand, but I was trying this thing out in the store and it actually works perfectly. Here, I’ll pull it up.” And he takes a quick look at the overpriced appliance, realizing that you also care immensely, but in different ways. “I still need to get her stuff, though- I’m not sure how I’m supposed to get to the flower shop if they close when we close.” And it leaves you dejected, since you know what flowers are her favorite, and how happy she’d be if she saw them on the table for a while. 
“We’ll figure it out,” Heeseung promises, and you nod, believing his words. 
You close a bit earlier than usual, and Heeseung writes on a small sticky note for patrons to come tomorrow. The bakery closes at 8:00 PM everyday, and usually 30 minutes can’t hurt- or at least, you hope it doesn’t. 
When you continue to anxiously check the clock, he comes to your side, rubbing your shoulder and telling you that “30 minutes is plenty of time.” 
“We have to walk there though, and clean up. There’s virtually no parking there ever since that other place opened up nearby.” And he curses, not taking something like that into consideration. While you might be ending earlier, you can’t just leave anything out in fear that someone’s going to try and break in, but you also don’t have nearly enough time to properly wash the dishes and wipe down the tables and counters. Instead, you both opt for putting away the large equipment and the food, turning off the lights so anyone who looks in gets the impression it’s closed with the lack of displays or people around. Then, you two can come back to finish organizing and preparing for tomorrow. 
His reassurance is easy to listen to, and Heeseung’s ability to figure out a plan is comforting in and of itself. You’re grateful he’s even willing to come with. 
“You can just wait in the car, really-“ 
Heeseung looks at you like you’re mad. “We talked about this,” he pressed. “It’s dangerous to go out alone. I have nothing to do in the car anyways.”
Finally, you shut off the lights and start dragging Heeseung’s arm, who’s still taking the key out of the lock as he’s being taken away by your impatience. Setting off in a brisk walk, you continue to check your phone, trying to beat time. Heeseung promises you once more that it’ll be okay, and you ask him what he got for your grandma to change the conversation. You both know her well, and your gifts reflect what qualities you care for most. You realize that Heeseung always keeps others in the back of his mind- like his thoughtful gift to Sunoo, with a handwritten card that Sunoo read a bit of to you guys before Heeseung stopped the further embarrassment. You didn’t realize it then, but the people in his life feel wanted all the time because he has the love to give them. 
You get there barely five minutes before 8:00 PM, and the discontent that washes over the shop owner’s face is apparent. “We’re closed,” she says, and you can’t imagine it’s easy to stay by yourself in a room so stuffy and full of pollen. You walk up to her with Heeseung following behind you, observing the way you practically beg for her to let you find some flowers. You promise you won’t take long, and she sighs, unraveling some of the wrapping paper she knows you’ll want. 
There aren’t many left now that the day is over- and you wonder what kind of people frequent the flower shops. Is it apologetic husbands trying to win over their disappointed wives? Is it children buying flowers for their parents and elders? Or is it people like you and Heeseung, who want to gift it to someone they care about?
“Can you trim the thorns?” And she shakes her head, continuing to ring your bouquet up. You feel horrible, understanding exactly how it feels when someone at the bakery asks for something so grandiose near closing, when your social battery has depleted and you don’t have any more smiles to give. And you know this, but you’re willing to go above and beyond if the shop owner is okay with it. The effort she’s put in already to cut the papers and ribbons to accentuate the flowers is already plenty, but it’s your grandma, and you make sure to come back to support her generously again. 
“Please,” you exhale, desperation and anger mixing in your tone. “I’ll pay extra.” With that, the shop owner sighs, taking your forty dollars and looking up as she opens the cash register. “Just keep it.” You say, in apology for earlier. She doesn’t decline the offer, and slides the crumpled bill into the slot with the rest of them, and ties a purple ribbon around the bouquet. 
You almost forget that he watches the whole ordeal, until the owner of the flower shop mutters a “couples these days” under her breath, and your eyes widen.
With profuse thanks, you grab the neatly wrapped flowers and leave, but the moment you turn the corner, you gawk. “Did you hear what she said?”
“That we’re a couple?” Heeseung brushes it off like it’s nothing. “Yeah. But- what kind of boyfriend would I be if I wasn’t the one paying for them?” 
Heeseung paying for flowers to give to you- it’s a thought that leaves you quiet as your feet follow the same steps you took to get there. Of course he would- and you wonder if you’d ever want to be on the receiving end of it from him- or, actually, anyone for that matter. You’re not sure your mind automatically wants such a sweet gesture from Lee Heeseung himself.
“Thank you for coming, again.” 
“Quit worrying about bothering me,” and it’s like he can read your mind. “Believe it or not, I don’t mind being around you.” His sarcastic comment still holds that undercurrent of honesty, and it’s like he knows just what you need to hear. 
The walk back is much less stressful than the walk to. It falls back to that simple dynamic between two people who have begun to tolerate each other, full of little insults, hits to the side, and laughing. You finally make it back, and the sun paints the sky with swirling blue and pink. The sunset illuminates Heeseung’s side profile as he unlocks the door again, and when you finally pay attention to his jawline, or the gentle purse of his lips in concentration, you come to the conclusion that Heeseung is more than easy on the eyes. 
And as you two clean up, the flowers sit in the passenger seat; a symbol of care for your grandmother, and Lee Heeseung’s time well spent with you.
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The trips with leftovers become more frequent, and his parents always remember who you are every time you come bearing gifts. “____!” They exclaim, returning the old tupperware with more dishes on top. It feels like at this point, your grandma cooks for them, and they cook for her just as much. 
“Go bother Heeseung, won’t you? We have dinner in a moment, but he’s been so busy with his work.” You smile at her, curious as to what he even has to do now that school’s over. “It’s the room to your left when you go up.” 
You knock on his door and he yells in response, telling you to come in. Under the assumption that it’s his family, Heeseung goes wide-eyed when he notices it’s you in his messy room with his pajamas and old t-shirts strewn here and there. 
“I did not expect it to be you,” he mumbles, quickly getting out of his chair to fix his covers and pick up a sock. A laugh bubbles from your throat with the way he’s scrambling to make things presentable right before you. 
“Don’t worry. I don’t think I’ll be staying long anyways. Your mom told me to drag you downstairs because you were too invested in your work.” He looks sheepish as he mumbles a quick apology, and after the quick tidying, he shuts his laptop and organizes his desk. “What do you even have to do anyways?” 
“I’m just making music- I started this internship with an entertainment company where they let me shadow a producer and offer input on some unreleased songs for their artists- so I’m just looking at the tracks and making demos.” 
“They let you do that? I figured shadowing wasn’t possible for a company so big.” He nods, a smile dusting his features, and you can tell he takes pride in what he’s accomplished.
You’re about to ask more, but a call of your names from downstairs leaves you two quickly walking down. 
“Have dinner with us!” His dad tells you, and you want to tell him you already ate a bit, but the noodles look delicious, and you agree to only eat a little bit. You glance over at Heeseung, but he offers a small smile as he pulls out a chair for you. 
And so it begins again, but just without your grandmother. 
“____, what are you planning to do in the future?” Heeseung’s dad starts. 
“I’m planning to study Biology in the fall at uni.” You start. “I had an internship last summer before senior year, and I really learned a lot from it, so I knew what I wanted to do by the time I applied for schools.” His mother praises you, as all Asian mothers do, and you can see why Heeseung is so kind-hearted by the way his parents speak to you. 
The conversation naturally switches from your plans to Heeseung’s, as they talk about his pursuit in music production. 
“I’m sure he’s doing a good job, I’m always in classes with him, and there’s nothing you need to worry about.”
His mother continues, however. “I mean, there’s always ways kids can get ahead. I always tell him to apply for things early, and he could’ve gotten more scholarships and finished his internship last summer if he wasn’t so behind. But he’s doing it now, so there's nothing we can say about it.” Her words rub you the wrong way immensely. While your own parents were never the most involved in your high school academics and were supportive of any career path you chose, they never placed an expectation on you to do the best and overachieve. But you get the sense that for Heeseung, no matter how supportive they were, it was never really good enough. It’s torturous.
But, you don’t really know how to respond, humming to ease the growing silence instead. “That’s always true, but I know a lot of people look up to him, including me. He’s doing great regardless of when he does it.” No matter how gently you put it, you know it’s in total opposition to how they think and feel when it comes to their own son, but you can only hope that it helps ease the tension.
The rest of dinner goes smoothly, with the discussion of your summer and how things have been with friends, parties, and planned trips. You finish their food quickly, complimenting Heeseung’s mother’s cooking once again and watching her face light up. 
“You should head home, we don’t want your grandma to be too worried.” His dad starts, and you agree, quick to grab your bag. Heeseung takes the containers from your hand and starts putting on his sandals. “I’ll walk you home.” Despite your refusal to let him carry your things, he insists, and you miss the way his mom stares fondly at you two from the kitchen island. 
The warm summer air gives you the illusion that it’s not so late, and with the way light still peaks from the horizon, you feel less tired the later the summer nights get. 
The boy next to you speaks up first. “Did you mean it?” You sneak a glance at his relaxed posture, a hand in his sweatpants and bangs on his forehead. 
“What part?” 
“Any part.” 
You nod, feeling almost incredulous that he thought you’d make up something like that after you two agreed to be on good terms.
“Of course, Hee- I wouldn’t lie about that stuff, especially not to your parents.” 
“I’m sorry about them, by the way.” He reaches up to run a hand through his hair. “They have high expectations sometimes, I’m sorry if it’s uncomfortable to hear them talk about me like that so openly.” The first instinct you have is to reach for his shoulder, making eye contact with him and offering a semblance of comfort before you walk across the street. 
“No, you don’t need to apologize for stuff like that. I’m sorry your parents hold you to those kinds of expectations.” 
“It’s okay, I’m used to it.” 
“But the problem is, you shouldn’t have to be used to it. You’ve genuinely done so much and you deserve some recognition rather than someone always telling you to do better.”
It goes quiet, but you don’t choose to bring anything else up, enjoying the crickets chirping and the gentle breeze that carries you home. 
You stop outside your door and unlock it, inviting him in to say hi to your grandmother.
“Thank you,” you tell him as he’s leaving. “For walking me home.” 
Heeseung simply shakes his head. “It was nothing, really. Thank you for seeing my parents again and whatnot.” He smiles, waving at you before walking back, and a grin makes its way onto your face before you even notice it. 
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Your phone dings at an hour earlier than you expected to get up, and it leaves you in an annoyed mood while you turn off your alarms.
hee: dude you HAVE to come in we just got a huge order for triple chocolate cake they said they’d pay extra if we finished by today
y/n: help wtf r u doing at the bakery 
hee: i was making brownies i asked ur grandma this morning if i could
y/n: what for…
hee: because i had a craving ??? what else..
y/n: oh LOL ok ill be there in 30
Originally, you and Heeseung were going to have the day off, and your aunt and grandma were going to work instead- but the tempting offer from Heeseung leaves you explaining why you have to come in for work, and that they should stay at home. You say anything that comes to mind, but they know you wouldn’t let them come with the way you were dressed and already grabbing your shoes and keys.
When you finally rush to the doors, you see Heeseung cutting into the chocolate treats, and when you two make eye contact, he shoves the piece in his mouth and nods. 
“Gross.” You comment, laughing. 
He says something intangible, and you shake your head, putting on your apron.
The amount of work you two have put in is simply criminal to be fake, and the day off you have is getting darker the longer you two stay.
You voice your concerns. “Do you think they’re lying about the tip?What they told you seems like much.” 
Heeseung shrugs, and sprinkles sea salt over the piece he picks up. “I’d hope it’s true. They seemed pretty desperate. I called them back today telling them their order would be done soon, so if they show up and pay more, that’d be great.” 
“I’m glad you’re so optimistic.” You laugh. 
“I have to be, because you’re definitely not.” Heeseung laughs when he sees the scowl on your face. 
“Oh yeah? I think I’m at least a little better than the time you spilled the tapioca pearls and then talked about how everyone had it out for you that day.” He rolls his eyes. 
“Between the two of us, I’ll always hear you saying ‘fuck, i dropped the spoon’ more.” His teasing has you smiling. 
“Focus on your lettering. Or do you need someone to hold your hand and help you?” You lean over to look at him spelling CONGRATS with brown icing. “You messed up.” Nitpicking, you point out a random loop and make fun of him for it despite it not looking bad at all. 
“I did not!” He huffs defensively. “I want to see you try.” He passes you the bag, and you get a piece of plastic wrap on the counter before starting. 
“Lee Heeseung sucks.” He reads. “Did you seriously write that?” You laugh at how offended he is, and the boy next to you is quick to pull the bag from your hand to start piping. halfway through the word ‘hate,’ you elbow his side, and it causes his letter ‘t’ to be dragged too far.
“Hey!” He runs over, smearing a bit of icing on your forehead before you duck and try to avoid all his other attacks. The laughs bubble from your stomach, the adrenaline causing you two to chase each other around the kitchen. You’re not even sure what Heeseung would do if he catches you, but you don’t want to find out. 
“I think we should package those cakes!” You remind him, albeit as a distraction. He sighs, crossing his arms in defeat before agreeing and heading back over. You narrowly avoid his glare, a wide smile on your face as you hum in victory. It’s a bit past closing, and he makes sure to flip the sign, still keeping the light on. 
The customer rings the phone, telling Heeseung that she’ll be there in a few minutes. By the time you’ve boxed all three cakes and cleaned up any edges, she walks in. You ring her up at the counter, and she pulls out her largest bills, telling you to take the change as a gift. You two both thank her immensely, making sure she can carry the cakes out to her car before closing for the night. 
When Heeseung enters through the front door, immediately you start cheering. “We just got paid tonight, Hee!” 
The boy grins, subtracting the total from the amount she gave, and it’s clear that she was being serious when she said she would pay extra. “I think this calls for celebration.” 
You don’t really have an excuse to see him outside of work, and the idea of being alone in a non-bakery setting feels scarily new. 
And you’re about to make up an excuse about how you have to be home (you don’t), but your stomach makes a low sound, and it serves as an answer in place of your faltering words. 
“I’m thinking Korean.”
You don’t expect to learn something new about Lee Heeseung, until you see him order two bowls of stir fried ramen despite the restaurant serving much more elegant dishes. 
“Ramen?” A glance at the menu has you reading one of the more expensive meals offered. “You could’ve had- I don’t know, their Honey Garlic Short Ribs.” 
He scrunches his nose in disapproval as a testament to how much he adores his instant noodles. “It’s just not the same. We barely have noodles at home, since my mom always insists on making it from scratch or boiling them in those big packages. Never just ramen.” You take a sip of your water, surprised. 
“You don’t have ramen? God, come over more often, I’ll make you some.” You suggest lightheartedly. 
He glances over, taking you up on the offer. “Woah- me, in your space?” You send him a glare, looking away and ignoring his laughs. 
The food comes relatively quickly, and he looks over what you’ve gotten to judge it. “It looks good. Let me have some.” He says, reaching over with his wooden chopsticks. 
You gasp at his suddenness, quick to refuse and to drag your plate away from him as you pick up a short rib and eat it before he can. The meat tastes wonderfully marinated and tender, and you don’t realize that the haphazard way you tried to eat it left some sauce on your mouth. Heeseung glances over with a frown, about to comment on how incredibly stingy you are until he notices there’s red sauce on your chin, and grabs his tissue. 
“Here.” He says, tapping you on the shoulder. And silently, he wipes it off, to make sure you won’t have to walk around with people seeing and saying anything. 
“Oh- thanks.” It’s pathetic the way your throat dries up, and how you force yourself to drink your water and move on. You hear about this only in movies- about male leads you turn to burns and wax poetic about how much they love you. You don’t expect it to happen so suddenly.
“Is yours any good?” You ask, averting your gaze. His fried eggs and boiled shrimp sit neatly on his stir fried noodles, the presentation better than you could ever make it at home. 
With a shrug, he replies, “We’ll see.” He tries some, and you see a satisfied grin on his features. 
“Is ramen really that good, Hee?” His enthusiastic nods tell you all you need to know as you continue eating, your pile of bones growing ever so slowly. You two make small talk, about his recent beach trip, or about you rafting with your friends. He talks of college- about going away and his fears of growing up. You tell him you’re scared to dorm, since you’ve been around your family for so long, and you share each other’s sentiments about the rapidly approaching adulthood you’ll both have to face. It’s nice like this, not to bicker and to argue and to despise him. It’s nice to just exist around Lee Heeseung, and you wonder why you haven’t done something like this before- sitting next to him and being able to talk freely about the interests and questions you share. 
You guess that it was just the timing- you were both always so stressed from school, unable to properly sit down to sort out your emotions. And yeah- summer is a new slate, and this year feels just a bit more life-changing than the rest of them. 
“You eat so slow.” And you shoot him yet another scowl, picking up some rice. 
“You ordered ramen and you eat like you’ve been starved for three years.” 
“Whatever. I’ll cover the bill?” 
Narrowing your eyes, you try to remember if you two had discussed anything about payments before. “No- I thought we were just going to split the bill.”
He doesn’t seem to care too much. “I’ll pay for you, since I couldn’t have done it without you,” refering to all the baking you did today.  
Exasperated, you refute his horrible reasoning. “I wouldn’t have even found out about her order if you weren’t there. Just let me split it.” You reach out expectantly, and he retracts the receipt, clutching it close. 
“Just pay me back sometime for something else,” and it’s the last thing he says before turning on his heel and leaving you with your agape. 
When you clean up and join him in the car, the first thing you tell him is that he’s ‘annoying,’ and ‘so stubborn it hurts.’ 
Heeseung just laughs at you, telling you it’s nothing special- like he’s used to paying for others. And thinking about how many people come in to ask him for his number or hope for a date, your assumption makes sense- that he does these things for everyone, and you’re not an outlier in any way. 
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When the bakery is one chestnut haired boy short, things are much less interesting. 
“Don’t have too much fun without me.” You joke when Heeseung begins to undo his apron. 
“You can come,” He offers with a small yet sincere smile on his face. “I asked, you all know each other anyways.” You feel your heart stir with the way Heeseung keeps you in his thoughts. 
All you do is refuse his offer. “I have to rewatch my rom-coms.” You wave him off, and within minutes, you’re left alone. The quiet music plays and the bell jingles every so often as patrons come for pick-up orders or drinks. Thankfully it was slow for a Friday, and you weren’t rushing around the shop.
There’s a girl who’s around your age who walks in, curious as to who’s taking her order before making eye contact with you emerging from behind the curtain. 
“Where’s the boy you usually work with?” She says, getting a list of what her and her friends wanted. “I’ve been meaning to ask for his number.” 
You can’t lie and say you’re indifferent to her question, but nonetheless, you take her order and give her his phone number saved in his contact. “He’s not dating anyone, so don’t worry.” You tell her, handing over the receipt. She smiles, and your heart tightens a little at the thought of Heeseung. One of you two is well-liked, one out of the two of you is perfect in every way, and it wasn’t you. 
Without any of your usual weekly plans with your friends, the drive home was quiet as you figured out what to do for the weekend. You would feel bad every time your grandma had to take a shift despite her recovering quickly, and despite her being excited to work again. When home, you decide to make dinner, change, clean up around the house, and retreat to your old room. The show you were catching up on until the wee hours of night was interrupted, and a familiar contact flashes on the screen. 
“Heeseung?” You ask, confused. It’s 12:00 AM. 
“____-ie.” The line giggles a bit before you hear some shuffling. “My head hurts.” 
You’re a bit shocked to hear him like this, but you’re not going to hang up on him and leave him confused. “Did you drink too much?” You ask, trying to choose your words carefully. 
“Yeah,” Heeseung responds, sighing. “I lost a bet, _____. And I lost cup pong, too.” He sounds dejected, like a hurt puppy as he elongates his syllables and pauses between thoughts. “I was going to tell you something.” 
“That you can’t come in for work tomorrow? You sound out of it, Heeseung.” 
He groans, and more shuffling comes from his side. “Yeah, but I can’t drive, ____-ie.” You cringe at the nickname, but refuse to say anything about it with the way he’s acting now.  “No one else can take me home, and my parents can’t know.” He sounds stressed, and you’re quick to reassure him before he starts crying. 
“Where are you?” 
“You’ll pick me up?” Heeseung asks, his tone filled with elation. 
“Maybe. Depends on how I feel in the next 10 minutes.” 
“I’ll cover your shifts anytime, I’ll drive you home, I’ll buy food for you, I’ll sneak you out…” He continues to ramble about all the favors he could do for you, and you laugh before getting out of bed.  
“You better mean it.” 
“I want to see you.” You know he just wants to go home, you know he doesn’t mean anything else with his words. You know he just wants to sober up and go to sleep. 
You know it’s nothing more between you two, yet your heart still beats wildly with every minute you drive, the words echoing in your head. 
“I got you water, and some food- I have no idea if you ate or not.” Is the first thing you tell him when he stumbles out of the house and into your car. 
Heeseung’s one drowsy blink away from falling asleep, and you have to shake him away to make sure he doesn’t fall asleep with a hangover. “Hee!” You rush to park on a random sidewalk before unbuckling your seatbelt. 
You brush back his red hair, pushing his curly bangs away and wiping the sweat from his forehead. He slowly blinks, adjusting to the proximity between you two. You shove a water bottle in his hand before getting a tissue to wipe the light sheen off of his skin. 
“What are you doing, hm?” And his voice, rough with exhaustion, has you quiet for a moment as your skin gets hot. 
Despite your heart thrumming faster, you force yourself to answer simply. “You’re going to have a hangover.” 
He opens his water, drinking almost a third before he leans back. “My head still hurts.” He whines, and you have to laugh. 
“Here,” you suggest, opening the tupperware of fried rice. “Eat.” 
He refuses, continuing to drink from his water, and you don’t have it in you to be annoyed at him. Instead, you grab a spoon. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” You mumble, starting to break up the fried egg and mix it all together.
After the first bite, “It’s good,” He says simply. “I’m glad I got to see you.” 
You feel the incessant pounding in your eardrums and your whole face feels hot. “Eat, before you throw up.” 
“I missed you.” Despite the harmless intention, you can’t stand to let Heeseung sweet-talk you, and it almost frustrates you to know there’s no weight to his words.
You roll your eyes at him and force him to finish his water. “Sober up before you get home.” 
In the quiet of the night, in the small neighborhood with everyone asleep, no one would know about the loudness of your chest, about how his eyes still hold his twinkle as he gazes tiredly at you, letting him dote on him. 
You continue to make sure he drinks and eats, and you’re so engrossed in taking care of him that you don’t realize how little the distance is between you. Making eye contact with him leaves you stunned into silence, but Heeseung says nothing to dispel what’s between you two. He reaches up, his palm cupping your jaw, and you swear, past the alcohol, there’s the faint fresh scent of the ocean, one that you recognize from being around him so often. 
You hold your breath, keeping the box in your steady as you wait for what he’s about to do next. He stares in silent question, glancing only to your lips and back up. It’s like time doesn’t even pass anymore, like a moment written in eternity when you brush away some of his hair.
You swear you’re about to kiss Lee Heeseung for the first time in your life. 
Instead, you cough and duck from his intimate stare, and he pulls away. The heat of his thumb still lingers on your cheek, and the way he looks at you doesn’t go unnoticed. 
“You’re feeling better, right? I’ll drive you home.” 
The wind whips against your window and the streets lay bare as you turn into his neighborhood. It’s all you can do. You can’t be in love, not with Heeseung. 
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Heeseung texts you profusely the next day, apologizing before he leaves the house to see you in person. ‘i’m sorry if anything happened last night, please let me know if I overstepped a boundary,’ and despite his words being through text, your mouth feels like it’s dried up, and that you have no idea what to tell him. You send him something vague about driving yourself, nothing that alludes to how your heart raced and skipped a few beats, and how you still think about the gentle way he caresses your jaw. 
How are you supposed to pretend things were the same? Like you weren’t watching him, like his gaze wasn’t with care, and his touches were not electric. How could you pretend that you weren’t slowly falling for Lee Heeseung?
“Did I,” He starts as he rushes through the door. “Did I do something wrong?” 
Shaking your head, you continue to crush up the cookies in their topping container. “I just don’t want to bother you with driving me around anymore.” 
“But you’re not a bother.” Heeseung can barely recall what happened yesterday, and he doesn’t know what caused your sudden lack of interest with your texts from the morning. “Look, ____-” 
In a desperate attempt to push down your unreturned feelings and return things to how they were, you cut him off. “Heeseung, drop it.” 
The day stretches for an eternity, and Heeseung knows something’s wrong. As one last chance to fix things before he goes, he speaks up. “Please, what did I do?” 
And you want to oh-so desperately tell him that last night, you were about to kiss, that the distance between you two was so finite and the way he looked at you had your stomach churning with butterflies. That somewhere, you realized just how similar you two were- that Lee Heeseung understood hard work, he paid attention to the little things, he related to and comforted you in the times that you felt like you were never enough. And those are just the handful of reasons why. You never knew just how well you truly knew him until you evaluated the years you’ve spent together. Some things you pick up subconsciously; like the way he fidgets or nervously smiles when a girl asks for his number, or the way he always looks back at you when he rejects her advances. It’s weird how quickly the knots that made your relationship so complicated suddenly untangle. It’s really just this long windy string that connects you and him, and within the miscommunication, it’s gone awry. 
You and him are in the same vein, and with how much time you spend with each other, it’d be criminal if you didn’t slowly fall for the way he sings along the radio or how he started to open your door. He cares, in all of the minuscule tiny ways that make your heart ache so terribly. “Nothing, it’s…” It’s almost sick how your mind immediately wanders to some stupid scenario where you and Heeseung ended whatever was going on between you two, and you admitted feelings to each other. Heeseung drives you around in his car, Heeseung comes to your house with baked goods he made himself, Heeseung’s eyes glitter when you two get good scores on a test, telling you how happy he is. “It’s just nothing.” You tell him, not really sure what to make of your feelings at all. And while your emotions towards the boy are new and fresh, they're so real- it snowballs fast.
“It’s not nothing if something’s changed between us.” He reasons, a look in his eye begging you to explain. 
“It should be nothing, Heeseung. We’ve never gotten along, so what’s the difference now?” The words leave a burn on your tongue, and you hate the way Heeseung looks away for a moment before he agrees. 
“Right.” He says, monotone and lifeless. “Why bother?” 
And you’re angry with yourself for the way you nod, taking your things. You want to scream in his face that you’ve begun to tolerate Lee Heeseung, in more ways than one. You don’t just tolerate him- you appreciate him, you care for him, you want him to be yours. 
“Okay- Hee, wait.” You falter in your decisions, your heartstrings pulling you in an enchanting way towards him- against all rational. “I’m sorry.” You can’t let a good thing go, you can’t risk never talking to him again, simply because you don’t know what it’s like to live life without him. You see him in every memory, in every class photo, and you can’t bear to be the reason you two stop talking- all because you were too scared to speak your mind.
He turns around, waiting for you to continue, crossing his arms as he proceeds to lean against the counter. If you were honest with yourself, you’d admit that Lee Heeseung is one of the most attractive people you’ve met. 
“Do you mean it?” You ask, feeling foolish. He should be asking you that- after what you’ve just told him.
Heeseung takes a step closer, his gaze on the ground as he nears the cash register, slowly closing the distance between you two.
“Do you mean it?” He asks, his voice small. There’s still space between you two, and it feels like oceans apart. And you soak up his words for consideration, truly questioning if you did. 
“No, Heeseung-“ You stare at the blinds, looking around the space only to realize just how secluded you two were- that no one outside of the bakery would know just what loops and hurdles you two had been through to get here. “I could never. I shouldn’t have said it.” 
“Is it true, then? That we get along, now?” His slow steps finally leave the crunching of his shoes in front of you, and you nod your head. And after he sees your confirmation, he continues. “How do you feel about me, ____?”
Your surprised gaze meets his, and you see the small smile on his lips, and the almost playful look in his eye indicating that he’s not really hurt anymore.
“I hate you, Lee Heeseung.” You say, emboldened by his teasing. “I hated you for spilling all of that applesauce on me when we were eight, I hate how you get along with everyone, I hate how you act like you’re better than me.” You pause, to think of more, but his hand reaches up to cup your chin, pointing up to make sure you’re looking at him. 
“I hate all that humming you do at work,” you start, your voice small, feeling shy now that he’s forced to make eye contact (which is extremely attractive and turns your legs into jelly). “Or your piping skills, or how good your macarons taste compared to mine.”
Heeseung is so dangerously close, like how you were just last night. “What else?” He goads you on, wanting to hear just how much more you have left. 
“I hate everything about you,” You barely murmur above a whisper with him being so close to you. “But I’d hate it if you didn’t return my feelings, either.” 
He smiles, finally hearing you admit the very things that’s been plaguing your relationship with the idea of more. 
“Anything more to add?” 
You scoff, reaching up and tangling your hands in his hair. The last thing that reaches Lee Heeseung’s ears are the words, “You’re so annoying,” before you crash your lips into his. 
Your kiss with Heeseung satisfies a longing that’s lasted for a while- to know what it felt like to be so close to him, to kiss his rosy lips just once. It’s tantalizing- the way you can’t pull away, and the way he doesn’t let you with how his hand rests on your lower back to pull you closer. When your hold on his hair loosens slightly, he gingerly lets you lean back. Your forehead comes to rest with his as you open your eyes, letting out a slow breath as you think about the ghost of his kiss on your lips. He’s hesitant to separate from you completely, and rests his hand on your waist instead. 
You smile, biting your lip so you don’t giggle like an excited girl who’s just told her friends about a measly interaction with her crush. Your heart feels like a floating balloon, and your lips stretch into a grin, prompting Heeseung to smile at you, too. 
An idiot. That’s what you both look like. But when Lee Heeseung presses a small kiss on your forehead and intertwines your fingers, you couldn’t care less. 
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“Heeseung, stop piping heart macarons, it’s embarrassing.” He rolls his eyes at you and adjusts the piping bag with red macaron batter inside. 
He mimics you childishly, and you want to scoop the lemon curd to plop on his head. “Stop piping heart macarons, yeah, okay, so why do I see you eating them?”
“I don’t. I’d never.” You’re lying, and you both know that, but Heeseung entertains your false narrative a bit more. 
“I’ll have you know, the lady at the law firm a few blocks down came here earlier and ordered some of them.” He retorts. You stick your tongue out at him and continue to mix the drink you’ve been preparing.
“What does she want them for, hm? I can imagine she’s in the season of love in July.” He laughs at your childish comment, continuing to pipe out almost identical hearts onto the baking sheet. 
“Maybe she loves her partner so much and wants to shower them in affection.” He grins, alluding to your relationship. You want to flick him across the forehead, rolling your eyes and walking over after finishing your drink for a to-go order. 
With an elbow on the counter, you watch him from the side as he diligently fills in the heart outlines. “You’ve always liked my macarons, though.” He reminds you. “Remember? You said it when we k-“
“Can you shut up about that?” You cut him off, feeling embarrassed. “It was like- a month ago.” 
It’s your exasperation that fuels him to tease you further. “It was a good kiss, was it n-“
You bump his shoulder, and he messes up one of the macarons, pausing before looking up at you. “Hey!” He whines, frowning. “These are supposed to be for that lawyer, remember?” 
You roll your eyes, and you know when Heeseung lies through his teeth. “Yeah, yeah,” You mutter, using a clean finger to wipe at the edge to make it look nice once more. You play along with his lie. “And we definitely fell in love because of cupid.” 
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my baby is done!! as always pleaseeeeee let me know what you think!! even if it is just 'hdefhjfhds' that means the world to me!!!
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vantxx95 · 21 days ago
Text
yet to read will add thoughts later sowiee !! <3
𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐈 𝐌𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 (l.hs)
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pairing: heeseung x reader (f)
summary: your daughter asks heeseung to tell the greatest love story of all and he takes the chance to narrate how he met you, the love of his life.
warnings: fluff & crack! (i tried), early 2000s au, kinda enemies to lovers, heeseung is down bad, they have a daughter, mentions of pregnancy, heeseung plays basketball, cuddling and kissing, light angst, mentions of leukaemia, parent’s death, if more lmk. NOT PROOFREAD
published: 23rd April 2024
wc: 6.2k
tag list: @stolasisyourparent @jaeyunsbimbo @heelvsted
Heeseung couldn’t bring himself to wake you up, knowing you were so exhausted from all the things you had to do.
Not only did you manage to prepare everything for Jia’s kindergarten, take her there and get to work in time but you also cleaned and cooked in your spare time, leaving little to just sit down and rest, which was why every time you sat down on the sofa, you ended up falling in a deep slumber.
He smiled fondly, covering your curled figure with a blanket and turned around with his hands on his hips “Tin Soldier.”
He called with a forced low voice, making Jia’s attention turn from the toy in her hand to her father, she placed her stocky hand on her forehead, standing at attention “Captain Hamster.”
Heeseung chuckled at her high pitched voice and scooped her up from the floor, taking her in his arms “Mission sweet tooth,” He booped her nose “Time for teeth brushing.”
Jia let out a whine of disappointment “But I want to play more.” She pouted, and if Heeseung didn’t know how much you’d get upset if Jia missed her bedtime, he’d let his daughter play to her heart's content.
“I know,” He pinched her cheek softly, earning a giggle “But I heard the tooth fairy doesn’t come to those who don’t brush their teeth before bed…” He trailed off, Jia’s eyes widened and she quickly climbed down Heeseung’s arms, hurrying upstairs. He could hear her small steps darting to the bathroom, making him smile writhing himself.
He glanced back at you, feeling such an euphoric feeling he thought his heart would explode.
Heeseung walked close to you and placed a featherlight kiss on your forehead, but your momma instinctive feelings made your eyes open up, alerted to your surroundings as you tried to get the sight of your daughter.
“Shh..” He soothed, caressing your cheek “I’ll prepare Jia for bed, mh?” He kissed the corner of your lips, your eyes already closed under his relaxing touch “You stay here, I'll take you to bed later.” You just let out a sleepy hum, your eyes too heavy to stay open more.
Heeseung went upstairs, following his daughter’s route and getting to the bathroom where she was already brushing her teeth, probably with a little too much toothbrush but it didn’t matter. He was glad she was trying.
Jia rinsed her mouth and opened it to let her father see how much of a good job she did, Heeseung smiled proudly “Great job, Tin Soldier. It's jammy mission now.” Jia giggled as she hurried off the stool that helped her reach the faucet and took Heeseung's sleeve, dragging him (more like, he let himself be dragged) to her bedroom.
The baby took her pyjama from the chair and placed it on the bed, “Daddy, can you help me?” She asked, clumsily removing her clothes.
Heeseung nodded, smiling as he saw her attempts at changing, despite still not majoring in it. In no time, she was clean and ready to bed, Heeseung tugged her under the blankets and sat by the edge of the bed, only the thin reflection of the pink night light illuminating the room.
They stared at each other for a few moments until Jia spoke “No bedtime story?” She tilted her head in confusion “You want me to tell you a bedtime story?”
“Mommy always does,” He explained, hugging her purple bear tightly “And what kind of stories does mommy tell you?” Heeseung asked, curious
“She usually recounts Tangled because she like a Flynn Rider.” Jia informed, making Heeseung raise a brow “She does?” Was it possible to feel jealous of a cartoon character? Probably not but Heeseung was crazy about you, so he’d make it a normal thing.
“Yes, but it’s always the same story.” Jia sighed, shaking her head “I want a more interesting one.”
Heeseung stayed silent, his lips forming a thin line as he tried to think “What do you want to hear about?”
It didn’t take much for Jia to reply “I want the greatest love story of all.” She answered happily, at her age, everything was about fantasies and unicorns.
So, Heeseung tried to think about the many love stories he knew, the famous tales he’d known growing up. There was Cinderella, The Little Mermaid and…. a candle lit in his mind.
“I’ll tell you the greatest love story of all,” He started with a cocky smirk “The best fairytale ever told.”
His words fuelled Jia’s curiosity as she snuggled better under the blankets, eyes sparkling “The wonderful love story of Lee Heeseung and L/N Y/N.”
Jia’s face was puzzled “But that’s you and mommy.” She stated and Heeseung nodded, smiling “Mommy isn’t a princess.”
Heeseung shook his head, but his smile never disappeared from his lips. “No, she’s my queen.” He ruffled Jia’s hair “So, do you want to hear it?”
“Mhmh!” Jia hummed in response “If mommy is a queen then I am the princess.” Heeseung let out a low chuckle, nodding “Yes, you are our dear princess.”
Jia smiled widely, one of those smiles that made your days uncontrollably better and sweeter “Tell me, tell me.” She incited her father
“It all started on..”
⪩⪨
A rainy Thursday afternoon. It was the perfect time for a cinema hang out with friends. You stood in front of the long line, it seemed like everyone had your same idea since both elderly couples and families with children were buying tickets and popcorn. You waved your hand to a young boy who was staring at you while holding a sachet of popcorn bigger than him, he waved back, making you smile.
You turned your head to see that most of the queue was gone, so you surpassed some of those people who never moved and just stared at the menu. You already knew your order, so why would you wait for them to choose?
The cashier who looked like he could really do a vacation asked in a monotone voice “What do you want to order?”
“A packet of Twizzlers.” You said but your voice did not seem quite like yours. You turned your head to the side just to meet a pair of big eyes staring at you in disbelief.
You two narrowed your eyes at each other, a staring battle that would declare the winner. Why were you acting that way? Because the packet of Twizzlers was the last one, and if that pretty boy thought he could steal it from you, he thought wrongly.
The cashier cleared his throat. “It’s the last one.” He stated, holding the dear packet of candies in front of you two
“I was there first.” The boy tried to defend himself, making you scoff “He was talking to me.” You raised a challenging brow.
“I clearly saw you cutting the line.” He blamed “False accusation, do you have any proof?”
“You were at the end of the queue just two seconds ago!” He exclaimed, making you smirk “You were staring at me?” Pink flashed instantly on the guy’s cheeks “No.” He tried to mask it, but you could clearly see some frustration in his features
The cashier cleared his throat once again, snatching your attention. “Just decide already, or I will.”
“No!” You both screamed, side eyeing each other once again “They’re mine.” The boy said, making you roll your eyes, “Your name ain’t written on them.”
“Neither is yours.” He raised his chin, an attempt to make you see he wasn’t backing down.
There was a moment where you two stared at each other, silence filling the place except for the vociferate inside the cinema halls, waiting for the movie to begin.
“Rock, paper, scissors!” You both exclaimed at the same time again, showing your hands. He cursed under his breath, seeing your petite hand that represented paper wrap around his closed fist which was rock.
“I won.” You said mockingly, throwing a few coins on the counter and taking the packet of twizzlers in your hand.
You were walking away when the cashier called you “Miss, excuse me?” You turned around and raised a questioning brow
He waved the coins you used to pay for the candies “You’re missing ten cents.”
You widened your eyes, checking your jeans pockets. You were sure you took the right amount of money, had you miscounted them?
An hopeful grin spread across the guy’s lips, taking the pennies from the cashier’s fingers and walking toward you “Guess this should be mine.” He tried to take the packet of Twizzlers but you moved your arm
He sighed, shaking his head “Listen, darling—“ “Don’t call me darling” You snapped at him, a frown on your face
He placed two surrounding hands between you two “Alright, my bad.” He then pointed at you and the dear packet of candies “You don’t have enough money, but I do, so just give it up and go watch your movie.”
Your mouth fell agape, staring at him in disbelief. However, you had nothing to counterattack anymore and had to stay still when he took the packet, replacing your hand with your not enough coins and paying for it to the overtired cashier.
The boy winked at you before disappearing down the corridor that led to the halls.
A movie just wasn’t the same without Twizzlers, but instead of doing twenty cents charity outside the cinema to buy at least a coke, you hurried inside the hall that projected ‘The Notebook’ and tried to find your seat, despite the room being dark already. Fortunately, there was at least ten minutes of advertising, so you had enough time to let yourself fall on the seat with a loud thud, earning a few ‘shhh’s from other people.
“Girl, what’s wrong with you?” Your best friend, Sunoo asked “What took you so long to come back? I thought you got lost or something.”
You shook your head, a defeated expression painted on your face “Someone stole my Twizzlers.” You fake-dried a tear
“Aw, poor you.” Sunoo patted your shoulder, knowing your tradition of eating candies and drinking coke while watching a movie “It’s ok, I’ll share my coke with you.” He took the giant cup and placed it on the armrest between the two of you. You smiled at him and focused your attention on the movie that started.
You felt a familiar scent filling your nostrils, you slowly turned your head and raised a brow when you noticed that not only had that boy stolen your candies, he was also eating them on the seat beside yours. You had not noticed it when you first sat down, but now you could clearly see his silhouette enjoying the snack that should’ve been yours.
As if feeling someone’s stare on him, he turned his head and met your angry gaze, his eyes widened a little before they turned into two half-moons, a smug grin on his lips. You exchanged no words but the way he was acting was so mocking it made your blood burn.
You gave your attention back to the film, not wanting to fuel his ego by acting affected by his childish behaviour. Yes, it was childish, but you were more petty so it did anger you. Who did he think he was to act that way?
The movie continued, even if you were painfully aware of the parasite beside you, you were able to follow the whole plot line until the ending scene was replaced with the closing credits. Murmurs filled the cinema room, the lights went on and you heard.
Sunoo was crying rivers beside you which made you chuckle, he had already finished his third tissue when he said “I’ll run to the bathroom.” To probably cry some more and try to fix his swelling eyes later. You were about to follow him when you heard a sniffle from your other side, you turned around and your eyes lit up when you noticed the stealer crying.
He raised his head and hid it behind his hands when he noticed you were staring. A heartfelt laugh escaped your lips “Don’t laugh at me.” He mumbled with a clear runny nose “You bet I am.” You sat down again, waiting for all the people to flow out and leave the exits freer “That’s what you get for stealing my snacks.”
He peaked at you from behind his fingers. “It’s not my fault you’re broke.” You tsked at his false-not-so-false statement “It’s not my fault you’re a crybaby.”
He side-eyed you and you side-eyed him back, just like Sunoo had taught you. The boy tried to dry his tears and runny nose, which was both unhygienic and impossible with one palm of his hand.
You felt a little pitiful for him and sighed, taking a tissue from the small tissue box and handing it to the boy.
He eyed it warily, not sure if he should’ve accepted it or not. “It’s not poisonous, unlike your germs.” You waved it in front of his face and he accepted it with a groan, blowing his nose and drying his tears.
He crumpled it and put it in his jeans pocket, staring at you while gulping down in a nervous way. You chuckled teasingly “What? Is the venom acting up?”
He rolled his eyes and took something from inside his hoodie’s pocket, “I saved this for you.”
You stared at the red candy stick he was holding out for you with a frown “What?” You asked, puzzled. Heeseung just sighed, acting unbiased. “I was full, don’t think I did it out of kindness.”
“What’s your name?” You asked suddenly, making him widen his eyes “Careful, you sound interested.”
You pursued your lips “Just answer, yeah?” The boy placed the candy on your palm, standing up.
You hadn’t noticed it, but he towered you by a lot just with you sitting, you didn’t imagine how you would have to pull your neck to look into his eyes by standing in front of him.
He stretched, lazily placing his hands in his pocket “Heeseung,” He beckoned to you “Y/N.” You replied
“Thank you for the tissue, Y/N.” He said and the way your name rolled from his tongue made your stomach turn. Whether it was disgust or attraction, you didn’t dare to label.
“Unthank you for the Twizzlers.” You smirked and turned on your heels, walking away before he even had the chance to talk to you more.
⪩⪨
“You cried over a movie?” Jia asked in an accusatory tone “I’m a sensitive person.” Heeseung huffed, blinking faintly
“I think you’re just a cry baby.” Jia raised her chin proudly “I didn’t even cry when I went to the dentist.”
Heeseung sniggered softly, booping his daughter's nose. He couldn’t help but always show some sort of affection towards her. The feeling of protection and longing was so strong whenever they spent time together. “Of course, you’re stronger than me.”
“Did you see her again later?” Heeseung nodded “Yes, but it was a lot of time later, like one month or so.” Jia widened her eyes “That much?” He hummed, running a hand in his hair “I was always awestruck when I saw her, it happened at the cinema and again…”
⪩⪨
“A 40, please.” Heeseung forced out a smile and handed the skates to the young girl who just asked. He was supposed to be relaxing at home but his brother decided to have a small trip with his girlfriend and obviously, it was Heeseung’s turn to cover up for him.
He had been handing skates that smelled like sweat and rotten cheese to people for four hours, and the thoughts of doing that for another one and half made him feel sick.
“A 38, please.” Heeseung’s eyes widened at the familiar voice, he raised his head and stared at your face through his bangs.
“You!” You both shouted at the same time, making the gesture of the Spiderman meme “What are you doing here?” He asked, eyeing you up and down.
Perhaps, it was the reddish lightning of the room, or the fact that your hair had grown a little, seeming like the perfect length for you; or the soft make up accentuating your face. Or maybe just the toxic fumes from the overused skates played tricks on his head.
“What’s taking so long?” One arm sneaked around your shoulders, making Heeseung raise a brow.
Oh, that was why you were there.
“My size is hard to find.” You lied, beckoning to Heeseung to do his job. Complying, he turned around and found your skates. passing them to you “Remember to take the safety precautions.” He said the same phrase he’d been repeating so many times and watched as you walked away with that guy’s arm still around your shoulder.
It shouldn’t have pissed him off, but it did. The way you smiled with him, helping him skating despite him was a lost case. Seriously, that guy sucked at skating, he had fallen so many times in just one hour.
Trying to distract himself, when he saw you approaching the counter bar, he started polishing the skates, but the urge to just talk to you was strong, so he approached you, sneakingly.
“Where’s your date?” Heeseung asked, cleaning the table with a sponge near where you were sat “Bathroom.” You replied nonchalantly
A soft frown curved his forehead “You’ve been sitting here for fifteen minutes, you sure he’s still in there?” At his words you smirked “You were staring at me?” Those same two words you told him when you first met.
You added “I saw him sneaking away five minutes ago, I just like to think he had a massive diarrhoea and didn’t actually dump me.”
Fucker. If he didn’t want to go out with you anymore he could’ve at least told you face to face.
The notes of ‘She Will Be Loved’ by Maroon 5 started playing as background music. Heeseung stared at you, you looked so gorgeous with your makeup, messy hair from the skating and the same bored expression you always wore, like nothing truly entertained you enough.
“What a loser.” He joked instead, earning a scoff from you “Why don’t you put yourself to good use and make me a smoothie?” You asked, sliding three coins on the counter.
Heeseung raised a brow, “I don’t know how to do it.” You raised it back “Don’t you work here?”
He shook his head “I’m just filling in for my brother.” You rolled your eyes “How useless.”
You were about to take those coins back when Heeseung stopped you, his hands brushing against yours “I’ll do it.” You smirked “A vanilla one, thank you.”
It was already late afternoon and the skating room wasn’t as packed as it was during the early hours, so Heeseung could put aside the skates sizes to make you a smoothie. Obviously, only to prove to you he was better than you thought, not because he wanted to cheer you up. Not at all.
Fiddling a little bit with the smoothies machine, he managed to make one, a little too liquid, but still drinkable.
He placed victoriously the glass in front of you, adding a straw inside “Here ya go.” You eyed it up and down, warily “Did you spit in it?”
Heeseung put a hand on his chest, acting wounded “You think so low of me.” You sighed while shaking your hand and took a small sip of the ‘vanilla smoothie’
“How is it?” He asked, hopeful. You just shrugged “Not bad for a newbie.”
Heeseung smirked, leaning against the counter, you could feel his body heat near you “Where’s my tip?”
You rolled your eyes, pushing him away “Nowhere.”
Your phone rang at that moment, you made a gesture for him to keep quiet and answered “Yes, mom… Yes, I know— at the, don’t shout, at the skating rink—“ A heavy sigh “Okay, I’ll be home.”
You hung up and hopped off the stool “Where are you going?” Heeseung frowned, “You haven’t even finished your smoothie.”
“Curfew.” You replied, waving your phone to him. He raised a brow “Don’t ask.”
Heeseung nodded, exiting from behind the counter, still in his brother’s uniform. Now you raised a brow “Where are you going?”
“I’ll walk you home.” You scowled, your face showing surprise “You’re working.” You stated
Heeseung pointed at the clock on the wall that ticked 06:03 PM. “Technically, my shift ended three minutes ago.”
“And why would you walk me home?” You asked “If something happened to you on the way, I’m sure your ghost would haunt me.”
You tsked, “I wouldn’t give you the honour to visit you when I’m dead.” Heeseung just smiled and nudged your shoulder with his “Lead the way, Twizzlers lover.”
You just rolled your eyes and walked out as he held the door for you “Let’s go, Twizzlers stealer.”
⪩⪨
“Why did that boy leave mommy?” Jia asked, her lips shifting to a cute pout “Because he didn’t realise what a treasure your mother is.” Heeseung answered, now sitting beside Jia with her small body curled under his arm.
“And you walked her home?” He nodded, laughing at the memories “Your grandfather went crazy when he saw me walk her home, I got a slipper thrown at my head.”
Jia chuckled as well, her soft giggles echoing through the whole room “What’s so funny? I got hurt.”
Jia chuckled loudly, hiding her face in her father’s chest “Grandpa still throws slippers at you.” She stated, making Heeseung laugh again “That’s right.”
“What happened then?” She asked, wanting to know more about her parents' love story. This was better than any prince and princesses tales her mother used to tell her.
“Later, I was forced to have dinner with them.” Heeseung started narrating, “After that awkward meal, me and Y/N grew closer. We kept bickering and fighting, but with her, no conversation was forced.”
Jia frowned “What does it mean?” She naively asked, of course she wouldn’t know this yet, so Heeseung explained “Sometimes, we feel forced to talk to others, however with your mother I didn’t even have to think about what to say, words just came to my mind.”
“Mommy seemed like she hated you.” The baby stated, glancing up to her father “She didn’t.”
Jia tilted her head “How do you know?” Heeseung smiled fondly, “I just knew.”
⪩⪨
“This one’s for you!” Heeseung exclaimed, throwing the ball to the basket just to painfully miss it. You laughed loudly at his fail “I hope that’s not how you flirt with girls or that explains why you’re single.” You snickered
Heeseung reached the ball and dribbled it around the court, his sleeves rolled up and his bangs sticking to the sweat on his forehead “Only with you.” He winked, making you act as if you were about to gag.
“Do you think I’ll be able to enter the college’s basketball team?” He asked, his voice sounding a little too serious for his usual playful character.
“We still have two months to think about college,” You frowned. “Let me live my summer without any thoughts.” Heeseung chuckled and threw the ball at you, which you caught before it landed on your face.
“I know,” He caught the ball you threw back at him “But I truly want to get a scholarship and maybe become a basketball player.” His tone may have been indifferent but his eyes were full of insecurities that could not could not be ignored.
You had been enemy (friend) with Heeseung long enough to know he had two things he deeply cared for: His family and basketball.
He was the High School team captain but hadn’t managed to receive a scholarship to enter the Sports faculty, which meant he had to rely on his own skills and money.
That wasn’t a problem, you know his family would always support his dreams, but there was something that Heeseung did not tell you about. You had a feeling, however you didn’t want to assume things. He’d tell you when he felt like it.
Your expression softened, you jumped off the railing and moved closer to him, stealing the ball from his hands, that he let you do, and taking a shot.
The ball entered the basket, making you smile proudly “You’re the best player I know, Heeseung.” You said honestly, nudging his shoulder with yours. The ball bounced back to you and you scooped it from the floor, placing a hand that signalled to Heeseung to wait there.
You rushed to your bags and took something he couldn’t see. He waited patiently, following all your movements.
You turned around and showed him what you did— holding out his basketball ball with a smiley face drawn on it “You just have to believe it too.” The smile on your lips matched with the ball’s one, but yours shone brighter. Heeseung felt a warm feeling spread all over his chest, something tickling his heart.
“Not as good as me.” You smirked playfully, taking another shot that missed the basket “Cause at least I fail gracefully.”
Heeseung shook his head, his lips curling into a small grin “You free tomorrow evening?” He suddenly asked and you quickly replied “Not at all.”
Heeseung knitted his brows “Why?” You sat back on the railing “The new season of ‘One Tree Hill’ is airing, I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
He reached for you, taking the new-styled ball in his hands and rolling it “Not even if I said I’ll buy you Twizzlers?” You pondered a little but then shook your head “Nah ah.”
“Damn.” Heeseung sighed, “I’ll watch it with you, then.”
You blinked faintly “You called my series trash yesterday.” Heeseung nodded “Well, they are.” He hopped on the railing beside you “But when I become the best basketball player in the world, I won’t be able to spend much time with you.”
You smiled, noting how he said ‘when’ and not ‘if’ “Finally some time away from you.” Heeseung faked being offended “I’ll say on national TV that you were about to sabotage my career.” You laughed “I’ll be making prayers for your downfall.”
You both laughed at whatever, teasing each other but knowing when to stop not to upset the other.
“Eight PM, tomorrow?” Heeseung questioned, “I don’t want you in my house.” You answered, laughing “I’ll climb the window.” You immediately shook your head, knowing he could manage to do it, because he had tried once “Fine, loser. Roast beef for dinner, take it or leave it.”
Heeseung smirked, biting his bottom lip “Not you as a meal?” You widened your eyes, pushing him off the railing “What the hell.”
“Ouch—“ He fell flat on the floor, “That hurt.” You wiggled your brows “Serves you right.”
“Oh yeah?” He said, tone flirty as he took the ball and hit you hard with it, making you fall “How dare you!” You started chasing after him while he ran away.
If anyone saw you from afar, they’d think you were two people madly in love with each other… and you were.
You just hadn’t realised it yet.
⪩⪨
“You wanted to become a basketball player?” Jia asked, her voice filled with sleepiness, but she wanted to know how the story continued, so she fought her eyes open.
“Yes dear,” Heeseung placed a featherlight kiss on Jia’s hair. “I played basketball and was the best player in the world— or so Y/N thought.”
“But you don’t play anymore.” She stated and Heeseung shook his head in response “No, I don’t.” Jia yawned softly “Why?”
He sighed sadly, gulping down “Before I went to college, my mother passed away.” Heeseung held Jia a little tighter “She had leukaemia, which is a very bad thing,” He explained easily so that his daughter could understand “And I needed stability, I needed something that basketball couldn’t bring me.”
Jia looked up at him “And what could?”
“Your mother.”
⪩⪨
You couldn’t believe you learned about it two days later. That day was the date of the funeral and you weren’t by Heeseung’s side. Truth to be told, you tried to reach for him a lot in the past few days, but his brother either shrugged you off or didn’t even answer the door.
You thought you did something wrong, but it turned out his mother died due to the illness that had been haunting her for over a year.
You should’ve realised it, you should be by his side, giving him the strength he needed to get through it. Which was why you were running despite the pouring rain, trying to reach the location of the funeral.
You didn’t care if you were going to be sick the next day, your fixed thought was Heeseung and just him.
Heeseung, on the other hand, had been painfully quiet and shut down. He hasn’t comprehended yet that he was going to live the rest of his life without his dear mother, facing the troubles and sufferings of adulthood alone.
The whole room was packed with relatives he had never known about, all giving him pity glances and condolences he didn’t need. He just wanted his mother back.
Sighing, he went outside to have some time alone. As soon as he stepped outside, the cold breeze hugged his body, making him shiver. The rain made his suit wet but he didn’t really care— maybe it would take the pain away with its drain.
He stared at the night sky, the moon and the stars watching him back, probably feeling pity for him too.
His heart was heavy and black, full of grief and sorrow. He just wished you were there to make it better. You always did.
Your smile, your playfulness, your sharp tongue. He liked everything about you, even your ugliest flaw.
As he was trying to fill his dull mind with the thought of you, he saw something rushing in the streets, towards his directions.
The figure kept coming closer and closer until a familiar face was lightened from the lightbulb.
There he saw you, standing under the pouring rain, looking ever so dreamlike. There was a moment where you both just studied each other’s faces, as if you hadn’t seen each other in forever— which felt like it.
Just a couple of days without you made him realise how important you are, how much he needed you. No words were exchanged, there was no necessity, you hurried your steps toward him and hugged him, your embrace so warm in contrast with the cold weather.
Heeseung let out a sob and then another until he was crying ugly on your chest, all the tears he wasn’t able to shed until that day. You rubbed soothing circles on his chest, gripping him tightly, afraid that he would shatter right there.
“W-Why..” He weeped, his voice breaking from the trembling of his lips, due to both the cold and his crying “It— It was too early.. Why her?”
You let him rumble nonsense, knowing how heartbroken and sad he was, you just held him through the pain, hoping to at least relieve some “I know, but I am here now, I won’t leave you.”
Heeseung looked up at you, his eyes glossy, his whole body soaked and nose reddened. Perfect regardless. You stared at him, afraid that if you blinked he would disappear, and he seemed to be thinking the same thought.
You placed your hands on both his cheeks, your thumb rubbing them. Heeseung gulped down, his long lashes and bambi eyes enchanting you, so mesmerising.
You didn’t know what you were doing until you felt his hot breath hit your skin, like one of Jupiter's satellites orbiting around him, getting closer and closer to him.
And then, like a crashing wave, your lips found each other into a gentle and soft kiss, his hands raising to brush against the nape of your neck.
You let out a sigh in his mouth, his hand grasping the back of your head, tilting it to deepen the kiss. It was an anchor that he needed, something not to give up for. You wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing his body flush to yours, both of you warming the other, protecting from the darkness of the world.
He was the first to pull away, his lips swollen as he stared at you “You don’t know how much I waited for this.” He whispered, shaking his head to emphasise his words. Your whole body trembled under his touch, his expression filling with worry “Are you cold? We should—“
You shushed him by reattaching your lips together, only one kiss not enough to calm down the desire, “No,” you murmured on his lips “You just make me feel so much it’s overwhelming.” He let out a small sigh, nodding as if to say he felt the same. His heart was beating so fast he could feel it in his throat, every best spelling your name.
“Thank you for coming,” He whispered and you smiled at him “You know I wouldn’t leave you alone even if I were a ghost— Sorry!” You exclaimed, realising it was not the best time to bring up the conversation you had at the skating rink.
To your surprise, Heeseung laughed out loud and pressed his lips on your brow, ever so caring “Please, don’t ever lose it.”
Puzzled, you asked “Lose what?” Heeseung smiled, “The spark that makes you, you.”
Your breath caught in your throat, his gaze intense as he studied those same features he knew by heart. You grinned back “If I had a packet of Twizzlers, I’d give you the last one.”
Heeseung bit his bottom lip, not able to hide the way his lips curled upwards everytime he was with you. “If I had a packet of Rolos, I’d give you the last one.”
⪩⪨
“You kissed mommy?” Jia’s voice grew softer every passing minute “Yes— but you can’t let a person kiss you until you’re eighteen, understood?”
“Why?” She asked, playing with the arms of her purple teddy bear “Because I say so.”
“Is the story finished?” Jia questioned with another yawn, as much as she wanted to hear more, her eyelids were becoming heavier
“I’ll make it quick,” Heeseung started, massaging Jia’s arm. “Mommy and I started dating after that kiss, it wasn’t official because none of us was truly ready, but we both knew what we had was magical.” He smiled within himself.
“Then, we graduated from college and I proposed to her,” Jia’s heart-lips opened to resemble an ‘o’ “With a ring?” Heeseung dipped “Yes, with a ring as beautiful as her.”
“It was an engagement ring, we made a promise to marry after university, and as soon as we got our degrees, we prepared for the big celebration— Your mother looked so perfect by the altar.”
Jia smiled sleepily, imagining how beautiful her mother must’ve looked with the wedding dress on, all candid and white “Like a queen?” Heeseung placed a kiss on her hair “Like a queen.”
“And a couple of years later, we had you.” He smiled happily. Heeseung was so satisfied with his life, and even if he had to give basketball up, he felt like he gained more. He had a beautiful wife, always by his side and a perfect daughter he’d protect with all his might (and probably throw slippers at her boyfriend’s too). His heart never felt so full of love and affection, he was accomplished.
“But the ending…“ He turned around to finish his sentence just to see Jia had fallen asleep, her breaths shallow and calm. He tugged her better under the covers, standing up from the small bed, feeling a little sore but joyful “…Still has to be written.”
He placed another featherlight kiss on her daughter’s forehead, whispering a gentle “Good night.” Before exiting the room.
He closed the door behind her back, hurrying downstairs with light steps. Heeseung saw you were still fast asleep on the couch. He removed the blanket from your figure and hooked his arms behind your neck and knees, scooping you from it.
You blinked your eyes open, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck “Hee?” You murmured, your voice laced with sleep.
“Hey, love.” He nudged his nose with your cheek “Time to get to bed.” You hummed, snuggling closer, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.
Heeseung opened the door to your bedroom with his foot and slowly placed you down on the mattress. You opened your eyes again, staring at him through your half-lids “Jia?” Heeseung smiled reassuringly. “She’s sleeping, just finished telling her a story.”
He laid down beside you, wrapping the cover over your two figures, he shifted closer to you, holding you close “What story?” You asked, your voice hoarse “Just the best story ever.” He placed a sweet kiss on the corner of your lips
“By the way, I’m a better storyteller than you.” He bragged and you scoffed “Liar.”
“Maybe,” He chuckled, wrapping both his arms around your body “But do you know one thing I never lie about?”
You shook your head “I’d give you my last Rolo.” You smiled, he could feel it on his chest “I’d give you my last Twizzler too.”
[⪩⪨] END.
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vantxx95 · 21 days ago
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yet to read will add thoughts later sowiee !! <3
tides of regret | heeseung
summary: in the year since heeseung first rejected your love confession, you've tried everything to get over him. a trip to europe makes you realize you miss your former best friend more than anything, and it makes heeseung realize he's got it all wrong.
notes: aaand she's here! this is 24.4K words worth of my heart and soul. consider this a token of my appreciation for welcoming me on enhablr. i sincerely hope you enjoy it. <3
deep cuts: #1
warnings: angst/internal self doubt, playful banter, dirty talking, praise, slight degradation, oral (m and f receiving), dry humping, fingering, mentions of exhibitionism and face sitting, nipple sucking, spit, brief moment of anal (tongue only), condom removal, unprotected sex, creampie.
For @enha-stars – may this story rip you apart and stitch you back together.
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Incheon feels lonely at three in the morning. 
The overhead lights being turned off because of the lack of travelers at this hour makes the airport feel bigger than it actually is. It’s too quiet without the familiar sounds of luggage wheels on the linoleum or overhead speakers announcing flight changes every ten minutes. You don’t think you’ve ever been to an airport so early in your life. 
It’s quiet enough to leave you alone with your bothersome thoughts. In the years you’ve been away from home as you studied abroad, you can’t help but feel a gravitational pull towards life in Seoul and the people in it. The familiarity of your home outweighs the adventure you once yearned for in your youth, and now you’re left with the exciting notion that, this time, you’ll know when you’ll be coming back.
The terminal has an abundance of seating. Your backpack rests on the seat beside you as Jay double checks the gate number while the rest of your friends find a spot on the seats next to you, attempting to find an ounce of comfort in the dimly lit area.
“I know leaving early saved us hundreds of dollars, but I need sleep,” Sunghoon says from beside you. His usually well kept hair falls in all sorts of places like he woke up without a second thought and hailed a taxi the minute he opened his eyes. 
“You’ll thank me later,” Jay says. “We can sleep on the plane.”
“Our flight doesn’t leave for another two hours,” Jake whines from beside him as he yawns. “How am I supposed to sleep on these god forsakes chairs?” 
“Quit whining and try,” Jay retorts. He looks behind him to see the rest of your friend group approach before glancing over to you. “Doing okay?” 
“How come Y/N gets preferential treatment?” Jake beckons. 
“Because she isn’t a nuisance like you,” Jay immediately fires back before diverting his attention towards you again. 
“I’m alright,” you say, stifling a yawn behind your hand. “Just cold and sleepy.” 
“Hopefully they turn off the damn AC,” Sunghoon says as he pulls his sweatshirt over his head. “I feel like my veins are being injected with ice.”
“It’ll warm up when more people come,” Jay reasons. “I wish there was a coffee stand that was open. I need a cup.” 
“I could go for one,” you agree. “I’m trying to stay awake for the next couple of hours so I can sleep on the plane.” 
The rest of your friend group appear behind Jay and you look down to check your phone for any notifications when Heeseung catches your eye. It takes you by surprise and you abruptly look back at your screen and busy yourself by aimlessly scrolling through social media as he attempts to occupy the empty seat beside you, but Jake beats him to it.
“I’m gonna freeze to death and then all of you are gonna have to deal with my frozen body.” Jake dramatically slouches down onto the seat until his head finds your shoulder, nuzzling his cheek as if trying to find comfort in you. “Jesus, Y/N, you’re so warm.”
You laugh. “I wore layers.” 
“You’re gonna regret that when we get on the plane,” Jake mumbles. 
Heeseung, from the corner of your eyes, opts to move to the seats in front of you. You try not to pay him any mind.
You snort. “Yeah, well I can take these layers off while you freeze until you become an icicle.” Jake hums when you let your head fall onto his. 
“You know I’m not built for the cold. Australia’s my home.”
“And yet you moved to Korea,” Sunghoon provokes. 
Jungwon and Riki are rummaging through the bag of snacks you’d brought for an early breakfast until the restaurants and coffee stands around you open up. Jake’s right, it’s far too cold to stop shivering, but you suppose you’re grateful that the discomfort distracts you from sleeping too early. 
“I can’t believe we’re finally going on this trip,” Sunoo says from above you. With your head still on Jake’s, you turn to look at the boy speaking. “I’m really excited for you to show us where you’ve been for the past four years.”
A tiny smile graces your lips. “I’m excited to show you around London and Paris. The latter is a two hour train ride. My friends and I would go every few weekends or so to explore the city. Pictures and videos don’t do them justice.” You sigh as you reminisce. “I really did think that I’d end up living there when I graduated.” 
“Why didn’t you?” 
“Missed home too much, I guess.” You shrug. “Though, I can’t believe Riki went through a growth spurt in the last two years that I was gone.”
“You went back to Okayama before Y/N came back for holiday break, right?” Jungwon asks, looking between the both of you.
“That’s right,” Riki says. “I was sad that I couldn’t see you before you went back to school.”
“Now he’s twice my height.” You gesture at the younger boy. He’s too shy with the sudden affection and chooses to bury his head in Jungwon’s shoulder. “You were so little.”
“Shut up,” he mumbles. 
“I can’t believe you’re fluent in English now.” Jungwon pushes Riki off of his arm. “You, Jake, and Jay are kind of scary when you speak English.”
“It was a little hard at first. I used to watch a lot of American cinema so I could understand it better than I could speak it. But I can’t lie, it’s fun being able to talk to them in English.”
“You were so cute trying to string phrases together during your first summer back,” Jay coos. “Texting her in English was funny because she couldn’t understand the difference between spelling.”
“Poor Jake.” You pull your head from his and look down at him. “You probably had aneurysms looking at my grammar.” 
You lift your head to see that the aforementioned has fallen asleep amongst the conversation with his mouth slightly ajar and soft snores echoing past your ear. You don’t move when Jay asks if you want Jake off of your shoulder, but you shake your head.
Conversation falls flat when the group unanimously decides that sleepiness is overtaking the need to socialize. Jay keeps checking his watch to look out for the time while your eyes try to look anywhere but at Heeseung. 
It’s odd, the way two people can lose a friendship overnight. The heartbreak that came with romantic rejection wasn’t nearly as bad as realizing texts and phone calls were far fewer in between the moment you had arrived back in Europe to finish your studies. It hurt to know that neither one of you felt comfortable enough to see each other when you were back in your hometown unless the two of you were invited to hang out with mutual friends. 
Still, seeing Heeseung after he had rejected your confession felt like a punch to the gut. 
Long gone were the days of being able to send him unimportant updates about your life abroad or what you were doing at any given summer day back home. You couldn’t ask him to go to the restaurants you used to frequent near his house or yours. You certainly couldn’t call him at random hours because you were bored and missed his voice. 
It wasn’t for the lack of trying. It felt like things might've gone back to normal after a short period of not talking, but your texts going unanswered and your calls going to voicemail was all you needed to know. 
Perhaps it’s why you’re comfortable spearheading this vacation with Jay, who had made it a point to visit you in London when you’d chosen to stay behind instead of going home for the holiday break. The two of you had never spent time alone prior to then, but it touched you that he’d go out of his way to dedicate an entire day to visit you when he was there for a family vacation. 
Coming back to Korea the summer after graduating felt like you were making the right choice, even if your head was telling you to find a home in Europe. Still fresh from your unresolved rejection, stepping off of the plane and knowing you wouldn’t be returning back to your university’s town made the uncomfortable reality of coming face-to-face with Heeseung sink in. You’d have to live with the consequences. 
But it’s been eight months since you returned, six months since Jay’s dad was gracious enough to offer you a position on his marketing team, and five months since he encouraged your entire friend group to take a trip to your old stomping grounds. 
The proposition felt too sudden, especially with how little experience you had working with his team, but you’d spend an evening with the Park family for him to consider you an honorary member. Though, you’re sure Jay might’ve told him something happened between you and Heeseung, especially after telling everyone you wouldn’t be coming home for the holidays. 
To this day, you haven’t uttered a single word to your friends about what happened the night Heeseung rejected your love confession. If you know him as well as you think you do, you don’t think he's told anyone either. 
“Cafes are opening up,” Jay notes. Sunghoon’s ears perk up. “Three of us should go get food and drinks while the rest save our seats.” 
The airport overhead lights must’ve turned on while you were deep in thought. Jay’s right, the coffee stands have opened and it’s likely due to the new influx of travelers who’ve arrived at the airport. Foot traffic is still light and you know Jay wants to get ahead of the crowd. 
Jake has woken up because of the growing murmur around him and lifts himself off of your head to wipe the sleep out of his eyes. He yawns once more but tries his best not to fall asleep again.
“How long was I out?”
“Twenty minutes, give or take,” Sunghoon answers.
“Sorry for sleeping on you,” Jake apologizes. 
“It’s okay. You needed it.” He scrunches his face, not used to the new lighting. “Jay, I’ll come with you to get coffee. I need to stretch my legs.” 
“I’ll help as well.” Heeseung speaks for the first time in a while and his voice nearly catches you off guard. 
“Sure.” Jay gathers everybody’s orders before the two of you follow him around the terminal. 
The line isn’t unbearably long, but with Heeseung towering behind you, it feels like you’ve been standing for hours. You shift from one foot to the other in order to find a happy medium to no avail. Jay orders for the group and you pay attention to him more than you care to when you realize Heeseung is now standing beside you to make room for more people to wait in line. He’s considerate like that and you hate it. 
When the baristas are finished with your order, you reach for the bag of sandwiches in your haste to escape Heeseung. But your fingers touch the steam and you drop the bag into the counter with a hiss.
“Careful,” Heeseung says. “Don’t get hurt, please.” 
Your clumsy nature was always something he teased you for. Heeseung sounds so sincere about his worry that you think you’d rather him pour all of the hot coffee on you instead. 
“Thanks.” You grab the bag with so much as a single moment of eye contact before realizing Jay has started walking back. 
Breakfast is eaten in silence. Everyone is too tired to speak, save for Jake whose twenty minute nap has rendered him a little more awake than the rest of you. You and Sunghoon share your egg sandwich and chocolate croissant respectively without a word spoken between the two of you. 
Meanwhile, Heeseung is staring at the way your thighs are close to Sunghoon’s. He had shifted his body closer to yours in order to form a makeshift table so that sharing pastries wouldn’t result in crumbs on the floor. You can feel Heeseung's gaze on your kneecap and it makes your face flush. 
Sunoo and Jake offer to throw everybody’s trash away when you’re all done eating. The airport is in full swing by now and everyone has said their graces and apologized to Jay for giving him a hard time with how early they arrived. 
It seems that sleep has threatened to overtake you. You’re waiting in line to scan your plane ticket and board the aircraft, but the sudden warmth of the airport has caused you to yawn a few too many times. Riki’s standing in front of you and his height makes for a perfect makeshift wall to lean on. Or, that’s what your tired brain is telling you, because you slouch forward and let your cheek rest against his back as you close your eyes. 
“Sleepy girl,” you hear him chuckle. You merely nod in acknowledgement. 
Your comfort is short lived when he softly nudges you because the line has moved. Soon, you scan your ticket and give the airline agent a smile as thanks before waiting to set foot on the aircraft. 
Sunghoon notices your dropped shoulders and wordlessly takes your backpack off of you. 
“You don’t need to do that,” you say with a frown when you see Sunghoon carrying your belongings with him. 
“Let me hold it,” says Sunghoon. “You look like you’re about to fall over with the extra weight.” 
“If you insist.”
“Let us take care of you, yeah?” Jay interrupts, bumps his shoulder with yours. “You’ve been running all over Europe these past four years and we’ve only seen you a handful of times. You deserve to relax on this trip.” 
“I can’t believe you guys are being so sweet on me. I know that’s ending the second we get back to Korea.” 
The two boys laugh. “Well, it’s only fair, I guess. You’re like, the mom friend.”
“Jay is the mom friend.” The aforementioned doesn’t argue. 
The squeeze of the aircraft is tight and you’re desperately trying to look for your seat. It seems that Sunghoon is sitting in your row, which excites you, but you’ve come to realize that you’ve obtained the ungodly middle seat. You make peace with it for a brief moment before Heeseung clears his throat awkwardly.
“Let’s switch seats,” he says from behind you. His ticket shows the window seat right next to yours. “I know you hate middle seats.” 
“No, I couldn’t ask that of you.” 
“You’re not asking.” He says it with a smile and it makes you cower into yourself. “You should move to your new seat so we don’t hold up the line.” 
Heeseung suggests it in a way that is reminiscent of the days where he’d give up his sweet treats because you wanted a taste. It tugs at your heartstrings but you don’t have time to think about that when you notice how the plane is starting to fill up. 
Reluctantly, you slide into the window seat while Heeseung and Sunghoon follow suit. Your seat belts are buckled and in no time, the aircraft takes flight. 
For the next hour, Heeseung looks like he wants to say something to you. The headphones you've brought do well to cancel out the noise, for the most part. You can see from the corner of your eye that he glances at you from time to time, but you ignore it and choose to get comfortable for the long haul. 
When you notice the flight attendants come with the beverage cart, you take it as a cue to get comfortable and try to get some sleep for the next few hours. Likely due to the lack of sleep from the night prior, you fall asleep as soon as your head rests against the plane.
You don’t hear Heeseung requesting an extra bottle of water for you.
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
When you come to, you’re barely able to register that it’s time to eat the first meal on the flight. You take your headphones off and put it in your backpack as you blink the sleep out of your eyes. 
“Chicken or beef?” 
Heeseung looks at you, expecting an answer.
“Hm?”
He laughs softly. “Chicken or beef?” 
Your eyes dart between him and the flight attendants when you realize they’re about to approach.
“I heard them asking people which meal they want,” Heeseung explains. “So, chicken or beef?”
“Beef.” You clear your throat. 
“Beef it is.”
Sunghoon requests chicken when the flight attendant arrives. Heeseung orders beef for the both of you before you get the chance. If he notices you looking at him strangely, he doesn’t comment on it. 
The food comes quicker than expected and the meal tastes decent, though you’re trying your best not to elbow Heeseung as you cut away at your portion. He seems engrossed in the movie in front of him while you peek at what he’s watching—Iron Man, to no one’s shock. 
You soften a bit at the nostalgia that comes with Heeseung and Marvel, namely the rainy days in your youth spent marathoning the superhero movies. There had been one year in high school when he’d dressed up as Tony Stark and you as Pepper Potts despite a few girls your age whispering behind your back at the matching costumes out of jealousy. You don’t think you can think of the franchise without thinking of Heeseung. 
The memories almost bring a smile to your face. Heeseung seems to notice you glancing at his screen in between bites. You avoid eye contact when you realize he caught you staring and focus on cutting your meal, praying that Heeseung will stop looking at you and watch the movie instead. 
But he takes one earbud out and holds it to you. 
“Do you want to watch it with me?” He’s halfway through. You tell him such but he doesn’t care. 
“I don’t want to jump in halfway through.” 
“Come on, it’s not like you haven’t done that before.” 
Heeseung says it with such nonchalance that it makes your stomach drop. He sees the way your eyes falter for a moment and the way you glance between his hand and the screen. You try to come up with excuses to refuse his offer, but you’ve got eight more hours until you land.
“Sure,” you settle. Heeseung gives you one headphone and resumes watching.
Between the meals being picked up and tray tables being put away, you manage to fall asleep in your seat. Sunoo sits in front of you and upon coming back from a quick bathroom trip, sees your head resting on Heeseung’s shoulder with his cheek propped on your head. The two of you are fast asleep despite the credits rolling and he can’t help but snap a quick photo. 
You wake up some hours later when Sunghoon says your name. The cabin lights turning on temporarily blinds your vision as you wake up when you realize you’d managed to push yourself back enough to rest yourself against Heeseung’s arm. 
“Oh God,” you say in shock, pulling yourself and the seat upright. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”
“It’s okay,” he replies, like he means it. “Sleeping on planes is uncomfortable. But I know you know that.” 
You nod. “Yeah. It's too hard to get comfortable.”
“I can’t believe we’re spending two weeks in Europe. I’ve never been outside of Korea and Japan before. You’ll have to help me with my English.��
“Jay or Jake can also help with that.” You say it with a yawn and Heeseung’s eyes cast to the floor for a brief moment. You barely notice, gathering your own belongings as the flight descends. 
“Yeah, I guess they can.” 
When you land, the familiar disorientation of the time difference truly wakes you up. It’s eleven in the morning when the plane door finally opens and Jay’s moving a step ahead of you as he occupies space in the aisle way to grab his belongings. You follow suit and wait for your turn to exit amongst your friends and other travel goers.
Stepping out of the plane and into the familiar terrain of the Heathrow Airport reignites your attentiveness and you smile at the fond memories of being greeted by your university friends upon arriving. The familiar atmosphere of English travelers milling around the gate warms your chest with nostalgia. 
You wait for the boys to emerge before signaling Jay, who follows beside you as you walk towards the baggage claim area. You lead him with little trouble down the escalator as the rest of your friends follow suit, yawning in an attempt to wake themselves up. 
“It’s weird seeing you in your element,” Jay comments as he stands beside you, periodically checking the turnstile for his luggage. “A good kind of weird.” 
“This airport might as well be my second home,” you tell him. “It feels routine to wait for my luggage at this point.”
“I’m tempted to sleep when we get to the hotel but I don’t want to mess up my sleep schedule more than it already is.” Jay pulls his luggage. 
“Yeah, that’s smart. I think we should take an hour to freshen up and find a place to eat before we go exploring.”
“I can already hear Jake whining about it.” 
The two of you share a laugh. “He’ll just have to get used to it. We can have an early night and rest up before we explore tomorrow.” 
“He slept on the plane, for the most part,” Jay informs. “Surprisingly, he didn’t snore as loudly as he usually does.” He spots your luggage and takes it off of the belt for you. 
On the other side of the carousel, Heeseung and Sunoo are standing together to find their own luggages. 
“You guys looked pretty cozy,” Sunoo comments. “It was nice seeing you two like that again.”
“It felt nice,” he mutters. “I really missed her.” 
Heeseung doesn’t have to tell Sunoo what happened between the two of you for him to know that you two aren’t as close as you used to be. The older boy feels nearly ashamed that his own friends have caught up on his awkward demeanor.
“Well, she’s back for good and we’re here on vacation. Try not to dwell on whatever it is that’s making you think too hard.”
Heeeung laughs. “I’ll try, Sunoo. It’s just hard when we’re not as close. How can I compete when we’re in her college town and how will I talk to her in Paris?”
“Well, you never know,” Sunoo says as he picks up his luggage. “Anything can happen in the City of Love.”
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
The hotel itself is modest in size. Quaint, old cobblestone surrounding the entryway like you remember it. The people are busy walking in and out of the meeting rooms in the lobby as you walk to the concierge to sort out the rooming situation. Jay stands beside to help distribute the keys and the employee behind the desk bids you a good stay. 
The view from the fifth floor is spectacular already. You catch glimpses of the streets of London below you, street lights decorating the sidewalk and flowers surrounding the city. This feels like the London you remember and it adds a slight pep in your step. 
“Alright, it’s decided that three of you are gonna share,” you say as you reach the first room. “The other four will be split into two rooms and I’ll get a room for myself.”
“That’s not fair,” Jake huffs. 
“I refuse to share a room with any of you.” You pocket the key to the single bedroom. “Plus, Jay’s mom helped me make the arrangements when we planned the trip.”
“Favoritism,” Jake coughs. You nudge his side.
“To make it fair, everyone will pick up a key card without knowing the room number and flip it. That’ll determine who you room with.”
“Alright,” Jungwon says. “Fair enough.”
One by one, your friends pick their key cards and discover their roommates. Jake, Sunoo, and Riki are the unlucky three who will be rooming together for the duration of the week. Jay and Sunghoon are in the room directly across from theirs while Heeseung and Jungwon share a room. 
“Let’s meet at the lobby in an hour,” Jay suggests. “We can get some lunch and do some exploring before deciding on dinner.”
“We can take it easy and sleep early tonight,” you add in. “I know that flying internationally is always a bitch and I try to time my sleep when I need to.”
The eight of you part ways. Your suite has a beautiful view of the sky and the room itself makes you feel like the main character of a romance film. The bed is just to your liking with pillows stacked to the nines. It feels nice to have a moment to yourself. With your friend Yunjin backing out of the trip at the last minute due to family conflicts, you hadn’t had time to think about anything other than arriving at the hotel safely. 
You busy yourself with a shower and freshen up, pulling out options for you to wear for the rest of the night. You settle with something stylish yet comfortable and put enough makeup on your face until you’re satisfied with the person staring back at you in the bathroom mirror. 
True to your word, you enter the lobby when you said you would. Jay and Sunghoon are already downstairs by the seats. Sunghoon stands to offer you the loveseat but you decline politely and sift through your phone until the rest of the guys arrive. 
When they do, it’s like all eight of you collectively agree that hunger has overtaken you. You know of a nearby cafe that serves sandwiches from your days in university. You lead them to the quaint restaurant that has your friends staring at the art on the walls as you greet the cashier and order. 
It’s a slow moment for the eight of you as you all eat in relative silence, the sound of quiet slurping audible from the coffees everyone has chosen to drink. 
“Did you spend a lot of time here?” Jungwon asks. 
“Around the area, yeah,” you say, looking around. The outdoor seating area is just towards the edge of the street with the weather being a cool, cloudy day. “I loved coming to cafe’s like these with my friends after class. We’d study until they kicked us out and then go for a drink or two.” 
“We should go to a pub while we’re here,” Jake suggests. “I’ve always wanted to see an English pub. We have a few back in Australia.” 
“I know just the place! My friend’s brother owns it and they know I’ll be in town for the next week. It would be nice to catch up with them.” 
“Hopefully your friends here kept you out of trouble,” Sunghoon teases. You flick him with your fingers. 
“I’m the most responsible one out of you seven and don’t you forget that.” 
“Do you miss being here now that you’re back?” Riki asks in between sandwich bites. “God, I love London already.” 
“You’re going to choke if you don’t slow down.” He apologies and takes a single bite. “Well, I think I miss my friends a lot. I don’t necessarily miss being in university, but I miss the freedoms that come with it.”
“I still can’t believe you spent four years of your life here,” Sunghoon says. “That’s insane when you think about how you cried when your aunt took you to Tokyo for a week when you were in middle school.”
The boys laugh and you frown. “I was twelve, okay? You wound me. But yeah, I think I grew out of my shell in high school and had this urge to travel but didn’t know how to do it. I was surprised when my parents encouraged me to apply to King’s College, even more so when I got accepted.”
“You’ve always been too good to stay in one place for too long,” Jake says. “We got close until halfway through our first year of high school, I think. I always got the sense that you wanted more than what our hometown could offer.” 
“I always wanted to move to the heart of Seoul eventually. But I think I needed to come here in order to figure that out.”
“Would you really have stayed in London if you had the chance?” 
You avoid looking at Heeseung, whose attention averted from his phone to you. 
“I don’t know,” you say honestly. “But what I do know is that I’m happy to be back in Korea and I’m happy to be traveling to Europe.” 
“You always did have that sense of adventure,” Heeseung says. “I remember you were the one who always got us in trouble when we explored a little too far.” 
“Your mom was pissed that time I walked a little too far down the shoreline when we went to Jeju.” The memory feels warm despite your discomfort at having Heeseung’s eyes on you. “I didn’t know who she wanted to kill more, me or you.”
“Definitely me. You could do no wrong in her eyes.”
“What happened?” Sunoo asks. 
“My family and Heeseung’s took a trip to Jeju Island when we were around seven, if I remember correctly. I’d taken swimming lessons and thought I could show off my new skills at the beach we were at, but there was a wave that was a bit too much for me to handle.”
“She was nearly swallowed by the ocean.” Heeseung hits his knee with his palm as he recalls the memory. “I mean, I was seven and it seemed like the wave was gigantic but to my mom, it must’ve been just tall enough that she could see over it.”
“She yelled at him for the rest of the night because she had to pull me out from under the water,” you add. “I was fine. My parents laughed it off but his mom was so pissed at him for not telling me to come back to the shore.”
Echoes of laughter fill the space. It feels nice to be able to laugh like this with Heeseung, temporarily forgetting why you were so awkward around him in the first place. 
When the check is paid, you lead the group around the area. Sunghoon takes out his camera and captures everything that inspires him while Sunoo and Riki are off to explore the shops around. It brings warmth to your chest to see your friends enthusiastically exploring the space you once called home. It had been a dream of yours since Jay came to visit and let you drag him around town for the day. Having them with you feels like you’re healing a part of yourself. 
You duck into the quiet bookstore you used to frequent while you were a student. Filled with novels and trinkets from floor to ceiling, it feels familiar to you. 
You get lost in thought when you glance at the books in front of you and you don’t notice Heeseung approaching. 
“Still love books?” 
“Jesus,” you gasp, clutching your chest. “You scared me.”
“Sorry,” he laughs. “Seems like you still scare easily.” You hate that he knows you so well. Clearing your throat, you put the book back. 
“Yes, to both. I used to come to this bookstore a lot when I had free time.” 
He looks around. “It looks like a nice place.”
“They have a reading nook in the back. The owner is this sweet older woman who was the first person to help me with my English when I first moved. I think she let me read books for free because I used to bring her sweets.”
“That sounds like something you’d do.” You cast your eyes to the floor. “It’s crazy that there’s parts of you that I don’t know.” 
“Yeah,” you mumble solemnly. Heeseung’s eyes bore into the side of your face as you pretend to look at the titles of the books. 
“Do you talk to your college friends often?” 
“All the time. My closest friends live all over the place. Two of them are from the area, one went to live in the States, and a few live in Busan.”
“I’ll bet it was nice to have some Korean friends when you moved. I remember you used call me to tell me about your first semester here.” 
You can’t help but think about the first few months after you moved when you would call Heeseung for a bit of comfort when things felt too overwhelming. With Korea being nine hours ahead, you always felt a little too bothersome phoning when it was the middle of the night for him, not used to the time difference. But he always answered you or called back when he had the chance. 
You’d spend hours on the phone, talking to him about how difficult it was to learn English and how making friends was not as easy as you thought it would be. Navigating the city felt lonely and isolating because you’d barely made friends in your classes in the first few weeks. Heeseung was there through all of it, reminding you that being eighteen years old in a new country made you brave despite feeling like you were a failure for not grasping a hold on life like you thought you would. 
Falling asleep on the phone with him became a routine, too. Whether it was you who fell asleep after a long day or Heeseung, who had stayed up listening to your worries, the sound of his breathing made it feel like you were back home in Korea instead of exploring a grand new world. 
Soon enough, you could talk your way around and piece together conversations with your classmates until you’d found friends who shared similar interests. Heeseung was the first person you told and the first person to tell you how proud he was that you extended your roots to learn about yourself away from home. You always thrived off of his praise as if making him proud was something you never sought out to do, but appreciated when it happened.
But that was four years ago. Whatever friendship you had with him then is not the one you have with him now. 
“It was nice,” you settle. “I miss my college friends. You might get to meet some later in the week.” 
“Nice,” he mutters to himself when you walk past him. “That’s really nice.” 
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
The rest of the week is spent in your old stomping grounds, from touring your campus, to shopping, to sightseeing. The eight of you split up more often than not to explore different areas based on mutual interest. You find that Heeseung tends to gravitate towards you and you aren’t sure if it’s because he feels guilty for rejecting you or because he genuinely wants to explore what you want to do. 
Still though, at least one other person joins you. It feels nice to have a buffer to avoid any awkward conversation or moments, especially when Heeseung trips over his words trying to talk to you. 
The week goes by too quickly for your liking. Spending time in London has felt like coming back home, in a way. You’ll always have your memories here and this city will remain the same when you return in the future. Now, it no longer feels like the place you escape too because things got too hard back home. 
Even with Heeseung next to you more often than not, you’ve found a happy medium The awkwardness dissipates when you set aside your indifference to show everybody your favorite places, watching them explore the city for themselves. 
As expected, Riki and Jake have spent a little too much on clothing with the hopes that they can fit it into their luggage on the way back. It fits miraculously. 
Your friend Leo, the one whose brother owns the pub you used to frequent, tells you he’s excited to see you after all these months. It’s a Friday night when you arrive, seeing it well populated. But it’s rather early in the evening before the rush hour, so you enjoy the relative quietness before people rush in. 
Heeseung, on the other hand, has been in a stupor for the latter half of the week. It began when he managed to talk to you in the bookstore, but blossomed when he watched you navigate your way around the city. You barely looked at your phone for directions and had no problem switching to English when you greeted shop owners. Hearing you speak fluently in a language you once struggled with in your childhood made him feel somewhat removed from your life. The two of you used to joke that he was always better with English. Now, the tables have turned. 
The fear that you’d told your school friends about what transpired between the two of you plants itself in the back of Heeseung’s mind. He worries that your friends won’t like him and that you’ve scorned his name, but he chides himself just as much as he worries because he knows you and how deeply you care about people. 
Heeseung wishes he could go back in time to change what happened. He wishes that he’d admit his mistake and confess to you before you left. It had taken him a long time to confront his own feelings, but seeing you back in Korea made him realize he didn’t care if the relationship was long distance or not. He didn’t care as long as you were in his life. 
The months spent apart without phone calls or texts were agony. He loathed hearing what you were up to from your mutual friends or when he accidentally watched your Instagram stories. Seeing you happy without him made his heart lurch, not out of possessiveness, but because he wished you were comfortable enough to share those moments with him. 
To boil it down, Heeseung hopes this trip can undo a year’s worth of his ignorance. 
But before he can think about that, your exclamation pulls him towards a strange man before you. 
“Leo!” 
The sheer volume of your voice doesn’t go unnoticed by Heeseung, who eyes the bloke the second you make a dash for him. His heart winces when your arms wrap around the stranger’s neck and as he spins you around, squeezing you for good measure. He isn’t pleased when Leo settles to let his arm rest around your waist instead of letting you go. He’s even less so when you don’t attempt to separate yourself from him. 
“Hey, pretty girl,” Leo says with a boyish grin, accent making Heeseung nearly roll his eyes. 
“This is Leo.” You let your head rest on his shoulder for a brief moment. “He’s one of my friends from university. I think we met in, what, second year?” 
“Second year, auditing class with Professor Donahue on Mondays and Wednesdays,” he says. “God, that class was so boring.” 
“He’s the friend whose brother owns the bar,” you explain to them. You introduce Leo to each friend respectively. “Jay and Jake are my friends who are fluent in English.” 
“You can speak it and understand it as well, right?” Leo asks as he shakes Heeseung’s hand.
He nods while giving him a tight smile. “Just a little. I’m practicing.” 
“Nah, you sound perfect already.”
Heeseung feels indifferent to see you in your element with people from your past. The bartender, who is Leo’s brother, tells you the first two rounds are on the house after he checks IDs. Riki and Jungwon are excited to have their first pub experience after you make them promise to take it slow and drink lots of water in between. 
“It’s a bit weird seeing her be like that,” Leo says to Jay with a laugh. “When we first got to know each other, it was me who had to tell her to watch how much she drank.”
“Y/N, drinking?” Jake asks. “No way. Back in Korea, she got drunk maybe twice a year.” 
“She and a mutual friend, Elizabeth, were as thick as thieves. They were like a package deal before we all graduated and until she moved to the States. They’d always go a little too hard after exam season was over or if people invited them out on a Saturday night.”
“Y/N’s always been the responsible one out of the bunch,” Jay adds. “In high school, there was one time she got so drunk that she nearly scaled the roof of my friend’s house. Heeseung nearly fell off trying to get her down. After that, she swore off alcohol.” 
Heeseung makes a few comments in the conversation as he watches you catch up with Leo’s brother and as you facilitate conversation between the rest of the guys. There’s a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when he realizes there’s a lot he doesn’t know about you. 
The two of you talked less as you became more comfortable in your environment. At first, Heeseung took it to heart and made the assumption that you’d chosen your friends in England over him, but a stern conversation with his mother made him realize he was being juvenile. He could only comfort you so much when he was oceans away. It was probably a good thing that you were talking to him less because that must’ve meant you were as overwhelmed or scared like you were when you first moved to England. 
You’d still call him a few times a week before bed–when Heeseung was getting ready for the day–to update him on everything that happened in the past week. You two texted more frequently than you conversed, sending him pictures of new places you’d discovered or him sending photos of your mutual friends with sad faces at the notion of you not being able to be there with them. 
Heeseung had always felt a bit jealous of your time abroad. He loved Korea, but he yearned for the same sense of adventure you once had. Only, he hadn’t figured it out until halfway through university when it was too late to transfer or apply for a semester abroad. When Jay had proposed this trip and that his father would expense half of it, he jumped at the opportunity to go. 
Although, he didn’t know it would hurt him this much.
Hearing you talk about your life here made him feel like it was his fault that he barely knew your life in England. It was so easy when the two of you lived a few blocks from each other; he’d run into you with your other friends on the street or know exactly where you were likely to be at any given moment. He knew you felt the same way about him too, as you always knew where to find him if you really needed him. 
But it feels like this is the first time he’s seeing you for who you are as an adult, not the child that he grew up with. 
Surely, Heeseung always knew you had a good head on your shoulders. You were always the more outspoken one who stood up for what you believed in, no matter how big or small. You never backed down if someone was giving you a hard time and it was one of the reasons why Heeseung had struck up a conversation with you as you two played in the sandbox after a few kids had stolen the toys he was playing with. That sense of responsibility and gratuity followed you into your adolescent and teenage years, too. Not once had Heeseung heard anyone say a bad word about your character. He’d like to think he had something to do with it, but deep down, Heeseung knows it was all you. 
When you confessed nearly a year ago, Heeseung felt like his heart might’ve ceased to function properly. Truth be told, he’s never taken his daydreams about being your boyfriend too seriously. He always wondered if it was normal to develop small crushes on your girl-friends at a young age and wondered if those butterflies in his stomach was because of how often his other friends at school would playfully tease him until they stopped. Jake and Sunghoon had been people who teased him for having a girl as his best friend until they befriended you too, and Heeseung was satisfied when they stopped with their comments. They, too, could understand why Heeseung was so keen on keeping you around. 
But the butterflies never quite left him. Your smile was too bright. Your voice was too angelic. Everything about you and how you fit into his life felt a little too perfect; Heeseung hated cliches in his youth and this felt like one big cliche joke. He knew his mother didn’t approve of the girls she’d see him with, even in college when he got into his first serious relationship. She wasn’t as enthusiastic about her as she was with you. At the time, the frustration seemed too biased until it ended in a way that made Heeseung realize his mother truly knew what was best for him.
Heeseung never considered the possibility of dating you until you confessed your feelings for him. 
As much as he plays off being the spontaneous, go-with-the-flow type of person, Heeseung gets scared when things go unplanned. He backs away from courage and from moments that make or break his character. He likes to play it safe unless he can make a calculated risk in his favor, choosing to let others fall flat on their face and learn from their mistakes. Heeseung had never considered the possibility of you having feelings for him either. That fateful summer night is one he will always remember, especially in the way the light in your eyes dimmed when he told you he didn’t feel the same. 
He remembers your quick apologies and the way you backed away too quickly for his liking. He had tried to reach for your hand to tell you it was okay and that he didn’t feel awkward about it, but you’d shook your head and merely told him you’d see him later. Heeseung had never seen you leave so abruptly. But he figured you’d get over it, as you typically do when things don’t go your way. You’re resilient like that.
Heeseung assumed you needed time to heal from the awkward encounter and hadn’t reached out to you for a week. He didn’t think much of it at the time and hadn’t made plans with you until he realized you’d be leaving for Europe the week following. By then, it had been too late, because he stopped by your house the morning after you left. 
Getting together with Seulgi after you left felt too easy. He knew she’d always had a thing for him but brushed her off for reasons he couldn’t fathom until he bumped into her a few weeks after you’d left without so much as a text or a voicemail. Feeling a bit irritated at your wordless departure, Heeseung took Seulgi out on a few days to take his mind off of you.
Except, it didn’t work. Heeseung found himself fantasizing about what it would be like to go out to dinner with you when she was sitting in front of him. When she’d texted him to thank him for his time, Heeseung imagined the kind of things you would say after your first date. When he kissed her for the first time underneath the twinkling lights of a local fair, Heeseung pictured you as he closed his eyes. The fantasy was ruined when Seulgi’s perfume touched his olfactory senses, pulling him back into reality. The guilt of kissing somebody who wasn’t you ate at his chest the moment he saw Seulgi smile at him from where he stood. 
He tried his best with her but broke it off when the unrest overtook his mental wellbeing. It was amicable, for the most part. All Heeseung knows is that his parents (along with all of his friends) were happy that he hadn’t continued with that relationship.
“Y/N used to talk a lot about you, Heeseung,” Leo says, bringing the aforementioned out of his thoughts. “We’d be out at dinner or something and she’d always run outside to answer your calls.”
“Really?” Heeseung says out of surprise. He didn’t know you did that. 
“You bet,” Leo replies. “She talked a lot about Korea when we’d hang out with our friends but she seemed to talk about you the most.” 
Heeseung wonders if you told him about what happened between the two of you the summer before you left. 
“I’m flattered.” Heeseung honestly doesn’t know what else to say. He chooses to tell the truth. “I missed her a lot. I grew up with her living a few blocks away. It felt weird not to be with her when I went to college.” 
“Y/N said the same thing. Every time she’d be homesick, she’d tell us she needed to call you.” Leo’s words bring a warm flush to Heeseung’s face but he chooses to blame it on the alcohol. 
“I heard my name,” you say as you walk to where they’re sitting. “Not talking shit about me, my dear Leo?”
“Never,” he teases. “Although, I’m sure I still have some pretty photos of you and Elizabeth at this very pub.”
“Oh God, please don’t.” You push his shoulder when he moves to reach his phone. “Those do not need to see the light of day and you definitely need to delete them.”
“How else am I going to blackmail you?” 
“You’re the worst.” You look cute when your nose is a bit red from drinking. You always did suffer from redness to the face when you drank. “I can’t believe Elizabeth and I let you into our friend group.”
“Hey! I was the one who introduced you to her in the first place.”
“I’ll bet if I texted her right now, I’d have it in writing that she’d choose me over you.”
“Okay, you don’t need to do that because she definitely would.” 
The group laughs and conversations flow nicely as a few other friends from your university days join you later in the evening. It feels like a reunion, of sorts. It feels especially wonderful to have most of your favorite people under one roof despite the slight language barrier. But everyone seems to get along well enough, especially Riki, who has taken a liking to your Japanese friend you met on your first day of orientation. 
When the room gets too hot, you make your way outside where you’re fenced in by a metal barricade. It’s cold outside, but the alcohol running through your veins keeps you warm enough that you decide not to go back to ask for a jacket. Heeseung wants to follow you but stays still in his seat when he sees Sunghoon exit the door after you leave. 
The wine in your hands is still halfway full. You’ve decided that you’ve taken the lead far too many times this week and that Jay can handle getting everyone home. It’s your fourth drink of the night, just enough to keep you buzzed for the duration of your time at the pub. 
You register the door sliding open and make room for Sunghoon when you spot him over your shoulder. 
“Your friends are really nice,” he comments, leaning on the railing next to you. 
“They’re the best,” you say with a fond smile. “I owe them a lot. I only started enjoying my time here when we became friends.” 
“You know, I was a little worried that you wouldn’t be happy when you moved to London for the first time.”
“What makes you say that?” 
“I think a lot of people would describe you as brave and as someone who will dive in head first to things that scare you, which is true for the most part. But I think people rarely pay attention to the vulnerable side of people like you because it looks like you have it all together.”
“I was a total wreck when I first moved,” you said. “I don’t know if you remember the few times I called you when Heeseung wasn’t able to pick up.”
“Oh, I remember. That was the first time you cried to me and now you have no issue getting your snot on my sweaters.” You swat his arm at the joke but he dodges you just in time. “I remember Yeji getting worried about you too. She was so young and always said she wanted to be brave like you.”
“Sweet girl,” you say. 
“The two of you are similar. I watch out for her a lot, you know? Our relatives always think she puts on a brave face and don’t think twice when she talks about her fears. They always tell her she’ll be fine, but it’s hard to actualize that when you don’t believe it.”
“I thought about coming home a few times when things got really hard,” you confess. “I was out of my depth because I couldn’t speak English very well. I could only speak fragments and getting my way around campus was so hard.” 
“I don’t know how you did it, if I’m being honest. But I’m glad that you stuck around long enough to see what your life would be like.”
“Me too. I’d really love to think I’ve become a better person now that I’ve gotten the chance to know myself beyond the comfort of my home, you know? I love you guys and I love my family, but sometimes being back in Korea felt like I was listening to what was expected of me instead of what I wanted.”
Sunghoon laughs. “Yeji said the same thing a few weeks before we left for London. Part of me thinks she’s considering studying abroad. I found a few college brochures in her room.”
“Don’t you know better than to snoop inside your sister’s bedroom?”
“Yah,” he says. “Yeji steals too many of my sweaters and she said I could get them back.”
“You’re just too easy to make fun of, Hoonie.” 
A comfortable silence passes over the both of you. The audible sound of people talking amongst themselves and the beautiful lights of the city illuminate what makes London so beautiful. It isn’t until Sunghoon speaks that you pull yourself out of your daydreams.
“I heard you that night,” Sunghoon confesses. 
“What are you talking about?” 
“The night of the bonfire.I know you told Heeseung you liked him.”
You turn your head to him. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I figured you’d tell me whenever you felt ready,” he says with a shrug. “You went back to London a couple of weeks later and I wanted to spend time with my friend. There never seemed to be a right time.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and balances from one leg to another. “You looked really sad, Y/N. I’ve never seen you look that way before.” 
There’s a beat of silence. 
Sunghoon listens as you sigh and you push yourself from the railing. Your back touches the cold metal as you look beside yourself to see him. 
“I deluded myself into thinking Heeseung might’ve felt something for me too,” you admit. “It’s not that girls and boys can’t be friends, but towards the end of our friendship, it was like something shifted.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’d…touch me longer. Hugs, pulling me by my waist at parties, lingering near me at Riki’s bonfires, that kind of thing. He started playing with my fingers a lot more. Heeseung never used to touch me like that. He’d interrupt conversation with guys to pull me away. I always knew what he was doing but I liked him so much that I didn’t care if he interrupted a good thing between me and someone else.” 
Sunghoon purses his lips and watches as you look ahead at the glass doors to see your friends laughing. “I noticed that too.”
“When we were alone, it felt like he was one sentence away from telling me he loved me more than a friend. Not that platonic crap that the eight of us tell each other, but the deep shit where that kind of love comes from kindred souls.” 
“Heeseung’s too stupid to see what’s good for him anyway.” Sunghoon pulls a laugh out of you and he’s glad to hear it. 
“But then I confessed to him the night of that bonfire.” You bite your lip at the memory, willing yourself not to tear up. “I mean, you heard him. He told me he didn’t feel the same way and didn’t want to ruin our friendship because it was perfect as it was.”
“And then you heard he’d gotten together with Seulgi.”
“Yeah.” You nod once and look down at your drink. 
“They weren’t together long,” Sunghoon says. “She wanted more but he didn’t want to give that to her. The boys were confused because he seemed to be really happy with her until he broke it off so sudden. I always thought it was because he felt too guilty after rejecting you.”
“What did the guys think?”
“Riki hated her. I have a feeling it was because she wasn’t you, though. I think Sunoo, Jungwon, and Jake were surprised when he’d gotten together with Seulgi after you left and were trying to be nice about it. Jay was indifferent, but then again, you two weren’t as close as you were with the rest of them until he visited you while you were away.”
“Did his opinion change?” 
“Definitely. Heeseung had a period of time in the new year where he went on a couple of dates with her, telling us he might’ve made a mistake by breaking things off too soon.” Sunghoon shakes his head as he tells the story. “Jay was unbelievably pissed.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know how he gets when he’s angry. He’s quiet and doesn’t talk until he’s calm. But it was like a volcano erupted, or something. Jay came back mid January to find out Heeseung had been seeing Seulgi for a couple of weeks and completely lost it on him. He said things about not knowing a good thing if it spat in his face and how he ruined every chance of happiness because of his own doing.” 
“Wow…I didn’t know Jay said that.”
“It was scary. Heeseung tried to fight back and say it was his life and that Jay didn’t have a right to say what he could and couldn’t do, but the poor guy never stood a chance. Jay asked him if he would be happy if you came back to see him dating Seulgi and that shut him up real quick.”
“What do I have to do with it?” you ask. “He rejected me before I left.” 
“I don’t know,” Sunghoon says truthfully. “I always thought that Heeseung was trying to redeem himself through Seulgi. But I guess we’ll never truly know.” 
“It’s been almost a year,” you reminisce. “You’d think I would’ve gotten over him by now after spending time in Europe with, well, other boys.”
“He’s not just any guy who rejected you,” Sunghoon says. He looks out at the street, finding the words to say. “You two had been best friends since before me or the guys got to know either of you. There’s a special kind of bond between people who grew up together, you know?
“I think a large part of you misses being friends with him. Sure, rejection always stings, but it’s knowing that you don’t have your best friend that hurts you more.”
“Jeez,” you chide. “You always know how I feel.”
Sunghoon laughs. “I’m just observant. I know that it’s hard to be on this trip because Heeseung’s trying to be that friend you once knew. He probably feels guilty for giving you the cold shoulder during your first few weeks back in Seoul.”
You roll your eyes. “Yeah, well he’s not doing a great job showing it. Life would be easier if he left me alone.”
“But do you want that?” 
You cast your eyes to the floor. “No, I don’t.” 
Satisfied with your answer, Sunghoon nods. 
“You know, I knew Heeseung had feelings for you the night we played spin the bottle just before we graduated high school.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Hoon. He never liked me.” 
Sunghoon shakes his head. “Do you remember what happened that night?” 
“Vaguely. I remember that being my first time trying alcohol and Jake having to cut me off when I couldn’t walk straight.”
He nods. “When you were sober enough to string a few sentences together, some girl suggested playing spin the bottle. When it was your turn to spin, it landed on me.” 
You make a face. “Ah. I do remember kissing you.” 
“Well you don’t have to look grossed out,” Sunghoon teases. “Everyone knew it was awkward because we’d been friends for like, five years at that point. We were both so flustered that the kiss lasted for maybe two seconds before everyone cheered.
“Heeseung was pissed. I saw him looking at me like I’d killed his family, or something. I swore I could see steam coming out of his ears. He wouldn’t talk to me for a week because I’d been your first kiss.”
“Seriously?” 
“Dead serious.” Sunghoon laughs at the memory. “He wouldn’t answer my texts. In the group chat we were in, he’d acknowledge everyone but me. It wasn’t until a week later when we were all hanging out that I told him there was nothing between us and it was awkward to kiss you in front of our friends.” 
You stand there, dumbfounded. “Huh.”
“I’ve never told anyone that,” he confesses. “I doubt anyone remembers us kissing except for him. I assumed this would be a story I’d tell you and the guys when you both eventually got together.” 
He murmurs an apology. “It’s okay, Hoon. I’m glad you told me. I guess I’m just…confused. Why did he reject me if he allegedly liked me?” 
“I wish I knew. He was miserable when you left and refused to talk about you moving back to Europe for your final year abroad. Heeseung was really sad when he found out you weren’t coming home for Christmas break.” 
“I couldn’t bear to see him. I was so heartbroken and the friends here tonight were consoling me in the way they knew how. I knew I’d be a depressed wreck if I came back home.”
“That makes sense,” Sunghoon affirms for you. “I’m glad you met up with Jay while he was here, though. You got some kind of Christmas gift from home.” 
“Me too. I feel like Jay and I got closer because of it. I knew he could tell something was off but he didn’t say anything about it. Something tells me he knows more than he cares to say.” 
“You know Jay.” You both nod. “More observant and caring than the rest of us. Part of me thinks Heeseung’s jealous of your new friendship with him since the two of you basically planned this whole trip on your own.” 
“Well, Jay has more international travel experience and his dad knows the right people,” you say with a shrug. “I spent four years of my life here. It makes sense.”
“To us, yes. To Heeseung? I think his feelings cloud his judgment.” 
“He never used to confuse me,” you admit. “We used to talk about how much we hated when people made us guess how they felt or what they were thinking. We always said it was unfair if you make people you love, make you guess their intentions. But he’s doing that to me and it’s been driving me insane.
“Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I watched him date girls in high school. I watched him with what I thought would be his first serious girlfriend during our first year of college before he went through that short hookup phase. God, that hurt me so bad and I couldn’t say anything because it wasn’t my life.” 
“For what it’s worth, I think it was brave of you to confess to him,” Sunghoon tells you. “I don’t say that as a cheap cop out to make you feel better either. You know me, I’m really sentimental about things even if I don’t come off that way. To confess your feelings to someone who you love…one can only hope to hear that someday.” 
You nudge your shoulder with his. “You say that like you didn’t have girls begging for a date.” 
Sunghoon laughs and you know what he means. 
“You’ve always been the bravest of all of us,” he continues. “I think the reason why I wanted to be friends with you when we were kids is because you didn’t take bullshit from people. I was too shy to stand up for myself between my career as a figure skater while trying to be a normal kid. You and Heeseung offered that kind of normalcy. I could see you two in the bleachers at my competitions and then we’d go out for ice cream like it was any other day.” 
“Well, now you’re going to make me cry.” 
“I mean it, Y/N. You’re a great friend and a great person. I hope Heeseung hasn’t fucked things up too bad that you leave his life for good.” 
You shiver. “Me too.” 
“Talk to him,” Sunghoon advises. “Do it before we leave. You’re removed from your life back home.” You open your mouth to refute but he beats you to the chase. “If it doesn’t work out, then you’ll know your answer when you go home and you can resume your life without Heeseung in it.” 
Sunghoon leaves you alone with your thoughts but makes you promise that you’ll join the group soon.
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
When you walk back into the pub, Jake clouds your personal space before you can even think about ordering another drink.
“Jesus, Hoon. Couldn’t you have offered Y/N your jacket if you guys were gonna be out that long? Poor girl looks like she’s about to freeze to death.
Jake’s affinity for the dramatic never ceases. Your friends look at your goosebumps and the way you’re acclimating to the warmer temperature inside while Sunghoon merely rolls his eyes.
“I’m fine,” you say. “We only came in because I started to get cold.”
“Let me get my jacket for you,” Heeseung says as he rises from his seat. 
“No.” You’re sure you say it too abruptly, but you can’t bear the thought of wearing his clothes after the conversation you just had. “I’m fine, honestly.” 
“Stop being stubborn and wear a damn jacket,” Leo chides, wrapping his coat around your shoulders. “You have this habit of never bringing one when you need it and it drives me crazy.” 
“But that’s what I have you for, don’t I?” 
As you tug the material closer to your body, Sunghoon watches as Heeseung stares at Leo with a hard expression. 
“Not when you’re back in Seoul, you goof.” Leo takes your empty glass. “I’m glad you have these guys back at home. They seem really good for you.” 
“I love them a lot.” You say it so tenderly with your head tilted as you look at the boys you’d call family, only for them to coo at your clearly vulnerable, inebriated state.
“My mother, my older sister, and best friend,” Riki says with a hiccup as he engulfs you in a hug. “Seriously, I would be dead in a ditch without you.” 
“I don’t know a better person,” Sunoo chimes in from where he’s seated. 
“There was one time where Y/N had this lemon phase where she couldn’t stop drinking lemonade or eating lemon candy,” Jake tells the group. “Now I think of her every time I see something yellow.” 
“That’s kind of fitting though, isn’t it?” Leo asks. “Yellow for sunshine.” 
Everybody agrees and it makes your cheeks and neck warm up. You hide yourself in Leo’s jacket, but God, Heeseung wishes he could hide you in his arms instead. 
Still, he can’t help but agree with Leo. If there’s any truth to his words, it’s that you are made of pure, unfiltered sunshine.
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
The next morning, all eight of you board the train for a two-hour ride to Paris. For the next five days, you’ll be acting as a tourist rather than tour guide, for the most part. Jay volunteers to take the lead since you did most of the heavy lifting in London. You do, however, chime in to give him a few recommendations from your prior visits to the city. 
Sunghoon’s advice plagues your thoughts, so much so that Jungwon has had to guide you out of the hotel and into the cab before arriving at the train station. Both he and Sunoo look a bit worried about you, but you wave them off and tell them you had one too many to drink. You know they don’t believe you but you’re grateful they don’t press on. 
Paris is much more beautiful than you remember it, and it’s likely due to the fact that you’re here on vacation, not because you wanted a weekend getaway to escape the stress of midterms and exams. The people are just as indifferent as ever. You’re able to practice some of your basic French to order coffee and pastries for everyone. It’s a feat that leaves Heeseung impressed and you try not to acknowledge him when you see his jaw drop. 
The hotel itself is more beautiful than the last. You have the room with the balcony and double doors leading to a breathtaking view of the buildings and streets below. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen, even if the streets are littered with trash and the people are a bit too loud. It still feels charming. 
The rooming situation is the same as London, with you in the single room and the rest of the boys to fend for themselves. This time, Jungwon, Jay, and Sunghoon are sharing the three bedroom with Heeseung and Jake sharing another, and Sunoo and Riki in the other double. The hotel must’ve miscalculated the rooming situation and put your single room at the end of the hallway away from the others, but you aren’t complaining. 
The first few days are filled with happiness and dread, namely when you see Heeseung as you begin your day. He has a knack for making you laugh until you come to the notion that you really shouldn’t be finding his jokes very funny because he doesn’t deserve that kind of reaction from you. 
In fact, he doesn’t deserve your attention after ignoring you for as long as he has. Seeing Leo again brought up memories of crying in his flat with Elizabeth and drinking too much wine to forget the pain temporarily. Your friends invited you to a night spent in the pub after Leo begged his brother to close it for the night so that you could have a free space to drink and talk about Heeseung until your voice gave out. 
Your irritation carries over and Heeseung can tell when you move away from him when he tries to stand next to you. He’s hurt but he tries to understand that you have a right to be, even if he knows in his heart the reasons why he acted the way he did. He just needs to find time to talk to you, even if the conversation doesn’t end the way he hopes it will. 
With two days left on the trip, you’ve eaten your way through the streets of Paris and have done your fair share of shopping. Each of the boys had bought you a small token of their appreciation (Heeseung paid for your latte, Jay purchased a small wallet from Prada, Jake gifted you new sunglasses, Sunghoon a charm for your bracelet, Sunoo a bowl of pasta for lunch, Jungwon a pair of earrings, and Riki a new jacket that looks similar to his from back home). It warms your heart to know you have people who care about you enough to show and tell you. 
The Eiffel Tower calls your name one late afternoon and by the time you all manage to walk up, the sun is setting below the horizon. There are couples around Heeseung who are taking photos left and right, one of which asks him to take a few pictures for them. He can’t help but wish he was in their place, asking a stranger to take a photo of the two of you as he kisses the apple of your cheek. Heeseung snaps a few good ones before the couple thanks him. 
It doesn’t help that you look like a walking goddess. Truth be told, Heeseung wanted to buy you more than just coffee when the boys agreed to each give you something as a token of their gratitude. Heeseung had come up with a list of ideas he wanted advice for, but it was Sunghoon who’d told him to keep it simple for your sake. He was right, as always, because you thanked him with a pleasant smile instead of ignoring him like you had in the days prior. Heeseung gets the feeling that you wouldn’t appreciate a grand gesture from him right now.
He hates that he can’t read you like he used to. He hates that the other friends know you better than he does, and he hates that he’s in the City of Love and he can’t call you his girlfriend. 
Riki and Jungwon are more perceptive than they let on. Heeseung sees the way their eyes dart between the two of you and how they’ve been trying their best to navigate the new dynamic. Riki, especially, hadn’t been receptive of Seulgi the first time Heeseung invited her to a bonfire. Heeseung had overheard the younger boy telling Jungwon it wasn’t the same without you there and that he’d rather go home than spend another minute getting to know someone who wasn’t you. 
At the time, Heeseung was beyond irritated and refused to speak to Riki for the rest of the night. Now, however, he understands why Riki acted the way he did. 
You look so beautiful underneath a Parisian sunset. Heeseung knows he’s staring. He’s grateful that you’re too preoccupied with Sunghoon taking photos of you. But God, he wishes you’d laugh at him like that. 
“You should talk to her,” Jake says from beside him. Heeseung jumps at his sudden appearance. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” 
“I want to.” Heeseung says it out loud for the first time. He wants to work it out with you and get his best friend back in whatever way you’ll allow. “I miss her, Jake. I miss being her friend and I fucked up when I rejected her.” 
Heeseung doesn’t notice Jake’s eyes widen at the sudden admission. Jake had his fair share of theories and considered Heeseung to be his best friend, but even he knew there was a limit about what he was willing to share and what he kept to himself. Heeseung’s friendship with you was something he stopped trying to learn a few years after he got to know you; Heeseung had a soft spot for you and had no problem letting people know that. It wasn’t until you mentioned to Jake that you hadn’t spoken to Heeseung in months that he knew something was up. 
“She clearly cares about you,” Jake says. “She wouldn’t be on this trip if she didn’t.”
“But she’s been ignoring me the past three days. And before you say it, yes, I know that she has a valid reason to, but I’m hurt and I want to make things better.”
“You have to let her take the reins and let her talk to you when she wants to,” Jake advises. “You know how she is. Y/N’s headstrong and she might not know how she feels right now, but she always knows what’s best for her. You’re good for her, Heeseung. Let her come to that conclusion on her own.”
Heeseung relinquishes his breath. “You’re right. I just…miss her. A lot. Things will never go back to the way they used to but I don’t think I want them to. I used to pray every night that I could somehow make everything like it was before that night but now I want more than that. She deserves better and I want to be better for her, not that coward who was too scared to try something new with the person he loves.” 
His friend’s words bring a smile to Jake’s lips. “Well I, for one, believe in you. I think the rest of the guys do too.” 
“I know,” Heeseung says softly with his eyes on you.
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
You can’t believe you leave Europe in two days as you sip your wine. Jay’s father was gracious enough to reach out to his friend at the hotel’s restaurant to negotiate having this meal compensated. It’s a gesture you hold onto and make a mental note to write a thoughtful note when you settle back in Korea. Jay sits next to you and partakes in the wine activities with you, namely picking out two different bottles to share with the table. Talking to Jay like this makes you feel otherworldly, like you’ve gotten more experience out of life since you chose to study abroad. You feel lucky, in a sense, that your life has given you more than you expected it too. 
The younger boys head upstairs after dessert and bid you all a goodnight in case they don’t see you before falling asleep. For the next thirty minutes or so, it’s the five of you laughing away at the hotel bar like old times, reminiscing about embarrassing moments from high school or how difficult it was to hear Jake’s Korean when he first moved. 
The Australian leaves as soon as he yawns. Sunghoon, a little too tipsy upon standing from the bar table, presses a gentle kiss to your head when he says goodnight to the rest of you. Jay gives your arm a reassuring squeeze and you understand for the first time that he always knew you better than he let on. He says goodnight and tells the bartender to charge his room whenever you two close the tab. 
Now, you and Heeseung are sitting together, mere inches apart as the Parisian sky twinkles with stars above the two of you. 
Neither of you know what to say. You fidget with the glass and contemplate on whether you should head up as well. Heeseung can sense your awkwardness and wish he hadn’t messed things up so badly that you can’t stand to be alone with him without thinking of an escape plan. He misses when the two of you could sit in complete silence and still feel comfortable around one another. 
“Thank you for showing us around,” he speaks up before you can make the decision to leave. “I remember you talking about all of the places you showed us when you first moved here. I’ve always wanted to visit.” 
“Really?” 
Heeseung nods. “I used to be so jealous that you got the opportunity to travel abroad every time you talked about it. But I think I like it better this way, with you as the tour guide.” 
That brings a laugh out of you and Heeseung can’t help but smile. He doesn’t care if it’s the alcohol allowing your walls to come down. He’s grateful for the chance. 
“I used to write down places I wanted to show you,” you confess. “There were so many places that reminded me of where we’d used to hang out as kids. It always felt like there was a part of you with me.” 
His heart melts. “I wish I could’ve visited you while you were here. Your friends seem pretty cool.” 
“They are.” Heeseung watches you smile. “They’ve been with me through a lot and helped me get over this fear of failing in a different country. My friend Suki, who now lives in Tokyo, was the first person to really get me out of my shell and convinced me to go out. Awkward Y/N? Going to clubs?” 
“You know how to dance, though. I bet you killed it.” 
“A little too much, perhaps. I didn’t date or hook up much, but there were a few times that I did.” Heeseung’s heart begins to sink as does his hope. This is not where he wanted to lead the conversation but his ears perk up at your next point. “But I wasn’t happy doing that so I stopped making out with random guys on the dance floor.”
“If only thirteen-year-old you could see you then,” he teases. You bump his shoulders with yours and he feels electricity running down his arm. 
“I think I did a good job adjusting and learning. There were times where I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing with my life because I couldn’t decide if I wanted to stay in London or go back to Seoul. That burden felt too much.” 
“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you came back home.” 
Your head whips to look at Heeseung, who can only sit and watch as your eyes begin to water. 
“Why didn’t you say anything when I texted and called you?” you ask meekly, your voice barely above a whisper. “Why didn’t you see me when I came back?” 
“I know.” He gulps. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so, so sorry.” 
You sniffle and Heeseung wants to cry too. “Everyone came to pick me up at the airport. I kept looking for you but you weren’t there. Jake had to pull me away from baggage claim because he said you weren’t coming but I didn’t listen. I told him he was wrong. You always come.” 
Heeseung’s soul breaks with every crack in your voice and with the way your lips quiver. He sees your mascara beginning to smudge and resists the urge to wipe it away so that your eyes may look fresh and dry. 
“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I have no excuse.” 
“I wanted my best friend but you never showed up for me. You didn’t call or text me when you knew I was home and I had to wait until Riki’s bonfire to see you.”
“I was an idiot and stupid,” is the only answer Heeseung can come up with. “I used to be so scared of change. You left the country and I had to start thinking about what I wanted to do with my life but it was so hard without you in it.”
“Then why did you leave me?” 
His heart shatters. 
You’ve turned away from him in an attempt to walk back to your hotel room. However, Heeseung has learned his lesson. He doesn’t let you stray too far and gently tugs your wrist to pull you into his chest and is surprised when you don’t fight him off of you.
He doesn't care that your tears have stained his shirt or that you’re hiccupping into his clothes. All Heeseung wants to do is let you know he’s here for you now, despite his past mistakes and clouded judgment. Heeseung loves you for your bravery and vulnerability. He can only hope you understand that. 
“Let’s go to your room, yeah? I can help you take your makeup off.”
Whether from the alcohol or your need to be near Heeseung, you let him guide you to the elevator. He digs in your purse for your room key and coaxes you to sit in the bathroom while he locks the door. This routine feels a bit familiar; in his youth, he learned how you like to take your makeup off and get ready for bed after a particularly rough night drinking. He could never understand why he hadn’t minded taking the extra step and to keep himself sober when you were in the vicinity, but he understands it now. 
Heeseung meets you in the bathroom and washes his hands before putting your hair in a ponytail. He bites his lips when he sees your fresh tears and mutters another apology, forcing himself not to wipe away the tears with his fingers. Instead, he lets you blot them with a tissue before gathering makeup remover in his hands and gently smears it all over your skin. 
“I didn’t like change,” he says after a quiet beat. “I was too cowardly to take what I wanted, even if the person I wanted said they wanted me too. I don’t know why I didn’t chase after you that night or why I thought you needed space before you left. I don’t have an explanation for any of it except to say that I was a coward who never wanted anything to change between us.” 
Heeseung warms a wet cloth and wipes the balm away until he’s satisfied and moves on with your favorite cleanser, rubbing it between his hands until it foams. 
“I think, deep down, I’ve always loved you more than I led on. I can’t think of any moment in my life where you weren’t there or times that I didn’t want you around. Even when we were in elementary school and everyone kept saying we would get cooties from each other, I wanted you with me.” 
He lets you wash your face and applies the rest of your products on as you once taught him. 
“I’ve always had this sense of pride when it came to being your friend. Everyone always talked about how cool you were because you always knew what to say and when to say it. I love that about you, you know. You have a way of making people feel like they’re really special. I don’t know why I was so afraid of that.
“I love who you are and what you believe in. You make the world a better place for everyone around you. How you treated me was a small fraction of why I love you. I love your passions and that you aren’t afraid to chase after them. I love that you stick with the same boba order even though you tell yourself you’ll try something new. I love that you hate the beach but go with us every time we ask. I love when you get a little drunk because you don’t fight me when I want to take care of you.”
Heeseung swallows. “But mostly, I just really love you.”
You open your eyes for the first time. Heeseung can only stare. 
“You really hurt me.” 
He glances down. “I know. I’m sorry.” 
“What hurt the most was knowing you weren’t going to be there as my best friend, Heeseung. I could handle your rejection. I could find a way to get over you. But I could never get over losing our friendship. I never wanted you out of my life because it’s better with you in it.” 
“Please don’t get over me,” Heeseung croaks. His own eyes begin to swell and he forces a choked sob down his throat, aggressively wiping his eyes to rid himself of tears. He presses his forehead against yours. “I don’t want you to get over me.” 
You don’t say anything for a few moments. Heeseung swears he feels the blood rushing to his ears as he anticipates your response and he’s sure that even if what you say isn’t what he wants to hear, he’s happy to wear his feelings on his sleeve for once in his life.
“I don’t think I could even if I tried.” 
Heeseung’s heart stops beating. He doesn’t kiss you even though he wants to. He doesn’t take your hand and pull you into him like his heart tells him to. Instead, he whispers a quiet thanks and is surprised when he hears you laugh. 
“I can’t apologize enough. I don’t want to make you feel like you have to do or say anything.” 
“I know,” you whisper. Heeseung's hands are dangling awkwardly by his side. He feels like pushing his forehead against yours was too much. But your hands reach for him and you give him a squeeze.  
Heeseung throws caution out of the window and envelopes you in a hug. He feels your body melt against his and can’t help but look at the way you’ve folded into his chest in the bathroom mirror, with your head in his neck and his cheek on the crown of your head. Heeseung missed holding you like this–with your bodies intertwined as if you were two soulmates who were forced apart upon creation. 
He stroked your back with his hand and kept the other secured around your waist. Your soft breaths touch his skin and it feels like he’s got electricity running through his veins. 
“I’m sorry,” Heeseung whispers again. “I will keep apologizing until you know the depth of my regret.” 
The boy feels like he’s floating when you press a soft kiss to his exposed chest, mentally thanking Jake for forcing him to let loose and unbutton a few. 
“You could start by staying with me until I fall asleep,” you say. “Like old times.” 
He tries not to punch the air. “I can do that.” 
Heeseung waits in the bathroom until you’ve changed into comfortable clothing. He isn’t surprised when he sees you in shorts and an oversized shirt. It’s reminiscent of what you used to wear when you’d sleep in the guest bedroom in his house or vice versa, but now that he’s acknowledged his feelings for you, he can’t help but coo at how cute and sleepy you look. 
You tuck yourself in bed with the blankets to your chin and he completely melts to the floor. You pat the spot next to him and he sits on top of the blankets. 
“Under the covers, silly.” 
“I don’t want to rush it,” Heeseung says in a panic. 
“We aren’t rushing. We’re two best friends who got each other back.” 
Heeseung has never been more relieved. Though, he knows you’re a stickler for outside clothes in bed, so he makes the decision to take your key card and change.
“I’m not leaving you,” he says when he notices you rise from your spot on the bed. He holds two key cards to prove it and leans over to press a soft kiss to your cheek. “I’m going to change and then I’ll be right back. I promise.” 
He comes back ten minutes later. It warms your heart at the sight of him and you feel the comfort in your body when he slides underneath the covers. 
You surprise yourself when you move to lay your head on his chest with your arm around his body. Heeseung doesn’t seem to mind, though, and he pulls you closer to him like you’ve done it a million times before. The two of you have wanted this for too long to make it feel awkward. 
“What did Jake say when you came into the room?” you ask.
“He was half asleep until I turned the light on but he asked me if we resolved things. I told him yes and then he asked if I was staying the night with you when he saw me leaving.”
“Am I right to assume he was more excited about having the room to himself?”
Heeseung laughs. “That you are.”
“Deep down, I think Jake knew we’d find our way. I think they all did.” 
“I’m sorry,” Heeseung whispers once more. You quiet him with a kiss to his cheek. 
“I know, Hee. We can talk more tomorrow. For now, let’s sleep.”
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
The next morning, Heeseung wakes up before you do and frowns when your body’s all the way on the other side of the bed. He leans over your sleeping frame and brushes strands of hair from your face, admiring how serene you look in your sleep. For a moment, Heeseung ponders if it’s too soon to wake you up the way he’d like to, but if last night was any indication about how you felt, he’d be willing to take the chance. 
He leans down to kiss your forehead and both of your cheeks repeatedly until your eyes flutter open. Heeseung thinks he could listen to your laugh every morning with the way you wince at the sunlight and how his lips touch your skin. Still, your gaze finds its way to Heeseung’s and you can’t help but smile. 
There was a brief moment before you fell asleep that you’d wondered if you’d been too quick to forgive him. But for as hurtful as the past year was, you can’t help but acknowledge the steps he took during the trip in an attempt to undo all of the contempt you had built for him. You owe it to yourself to be happy with Heeseung. 
“Good morning, pretty girl,” Heeseung says with his morning voice that sounds a little too good for seven in the A.M. “Did you sleep well?”
“Slept like a baby. I feel like one too.”
“That’s because you are a baby,” Heeseung teases, kissing your cheeks and then the tip of your nose. “My baby.” 
“I really want breakfast but I’m too lazy to get up from the bed.”
“We could always order in. I’ll pay.”
You shake your head. “I’ll be too tempted to stay in bed and it’s our last full day in Paris. Let’s just get ready and have breakfast at the hotel restaurant?” 
The both of you are halfway done eating breakfast when the rest of your friends trickle in, joining your table and the ones next to you. It takes them a while to wake up, but it’s Sunghoon who speaks up first. 
“I’m assuming you two talked?” 
“And made up,” you say with a tilt of your head. 
“That’s my girl,” Sunghoon says proudly, sipping on his coffee. 
“I’ll let that slide since we’re all friends,” Heeseung jokes. You laugh and, for the first time in a while, you don’t feel guilty about it. 
“I had the whole room to myself, too. I woke up and didn’t have to fight anyone for the bathroom,” says Jake. 
Riki nearly spits his juice out. “You guys slept together?” 
“Not like that!” you’re quick to exclaim. “He just slept over. Slept. As in, we closed our eyes and actually slept.” 
“Both of us knew we needed our beauty sleep before dealing with the six of you asking us questions,” Heeseung adds. “But for your information, we made up. We still have things to figure out, but we’re back to being friends.” 
“Hopefully more than that,” Jungwon coughs behind his coffee. He merely smiles when Heeseung looks in his direction.
“I think you two should spend the rest of the day by yourselves,” Jay suggests. “We can either meet up for dinner or whenever we have to check out.” 
“I second that,” Sunoo agrees. “You two clearly need to talk.” 
“I wanted to go shopping with Y/N again,” Riki says with a frown. Jake presumably knocks his shin with Riki’s, who clears his throat. “But you two should totally hang out without us.” 
“I think we might,” Heeseung says, holding his hand out for you to take. He stands from his seat and encourages you to stand as well, leading you away from the table. “Thanks for the breakfast, Jay!” 
“I’m choosing to be the bigger person because Y/N’s been through enough,” Jay mutters when Heeseung is out of hearshot, making the table laugh.
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
“You know, I think the reason why I had such a hard time reaching out was because we’d never gotten into something that serious before,” Heeseung admits. The gelato in your hand isn’t as good as you remember it, but it does the job to cool you down on a particularly warm afternoon. 
“What do you mean?” 
“Do you remember when we were kids and how hard it was for me to talk to you about anything that was action movies or superheroes?” 
“God, you and your Superman cape from fourth grade,” you snort. “You wore that thing to school everyday. Your dad had to wash it every night otherwise you’d refuse to go to sleep.” Heeseung shuts his eyes at the memory. 
“You were the only person I felt comfortable pouring my heart out to, you know. You were always the first person I called when I needed someone to talk to, but then I was the reason why you got hurt…I think part of me didn’t know if I was allowed to reach out to you.
“It’s a stupid excuse, I know. But when I heard you were coming back to Seoul a few weeks before you did, I couldn’t help but think about how many times I could’ve texted you.”
“Yeah, you could’ve.” Heeseung merely nods at your agreement. “We’ve been through a lot over the years, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.” 
“I just wish I had come to this conclusion when it happened. I was so caught up in graduating and focusing on how I felt that I didn’t consider how you must’ve been dealing with all of it. I don’t think I’ve ever been so selfish in my life.” 
“I think the time you refused to let me be friends with Jake because you said you needed friends aside from me was your second most selfish moment.” 
Heeseung rolls his eyes. “Quit it. I was thirteen, okay?” 
Neither of you particularly care to do any sightseeing today. It feels nice to walk side-by-side without the company of your other friends. The juxtaposition of how you felt towards the beginning of this trip compared to how relaxed you feel surprises you a tenfold, but you suppose that comes with genuine apologies and forgiveness. 
You’re willing to admit Heeseung looks criminally good in black jeans and a striped button down. He wears his clothes so effortlessly yet still looks like he could’ve taken his wardrobe from a magazine. You’ve always found it a bit unfair that Heeseung always manages to look so cool without trying too hard. 
“You’re staring,” he mutters, looking at you from the corner of his eye as the two of you walk down a cobblestone street. 
“I’m not,” you lie. You turn your head to avoid his gaze, but Heeseung thinks he likes seeing you this shy. It’s new territory for him, one that he wants to explore. 
“Can I ask you a question?” 
“Go for it.” 
“Why did you forgive me so quickly?” Heeseung asks. “I appreciate it, I really do, but a big part of me feels like I don’t deserve that just yet.” 
It takes you a while to answer. Why did you forgive him as fast as you did? For a week and a half, being in close quarters with Heeseung made you feel nothing but anxious and on edge, so why were you able to allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of him?
“I’ve always held onto the idea that you’re a good person,” you begin. “I’ve always admired that you intend to care for the people you love and make them feel like they have a place in your life. You’ve always made me feel safe, like I could run to you when things got too hard. 
“What you did was in poor taste, sure, but making bad decisions doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. I know you, Hee. I know how you get when you’re faced with a difficult choice and how long it takes for you to come around. I was justifiably hurt but I think a part of me always knew you’d fix it somehow.” 
“I wish I could feel deserving of that kind of forgiveness.” 
“You know me. You know I wouldn’t tell you that if I didn’t feel like what I’m saying is true. I’ll admit that I shocked myself with how quickly I let my guard down with you…but you’re Heeseung. You've been my best friend since the first grade and you’re the boy I happen to have a really big crush on.” 
Heeseung bites his lips at your confession, willing himself not to be too forward as to kiss you in the middle of the street. He sees your bravery and the way you’ve put your heart directly in the palm of his hand, acting out of vulnerability even though the both of you knew he hurt you once before. 
He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. Instead, Heeseung grabs your hands and locks his fingers with yours, squeezing three times to tell you he loves you.
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
The afternoon comes and goes with little to no plan. Heeseung’s a bit worried that he hasn’t heard anything from the boys and he’s rendered shocked that you’ve taken it upon yourself to let the day take you where it may instead of finding the next spot to visit. 
As if on cue, Jay texts him with plans for the evening. 
jjongcaprio: 20:00, Pétrelle. It’s a five minute walk from the hotel
jjongcaprio: I made reservations for you and Y/N tonight. Don’t worry about me and the boys, just take her out on a romantic date 
jjongcaprio: The bill’s covered. The reservation’s under your name btw
heeseung: bro i cannot ask you to do this 
jjongcaprio: You don’t have to. You and I both know Y/N deserves to be wined and dined 
jjongcaprio: Plus I saw you looking at a few restaurants when we were on the train. I managed to pull some strings for you and got a last minute reservation for tonight
heeseung: thank you jay…i really don’t know what i’d do without you
jjongcaprio: It’s really not a problem, bro. Promise me that you’ll try to be happy with her. The guys and I are rooting for you two
“So,” Heeseung clears his throat as he looks up from his phone, “I think you and I should go out for dinner.” 
“Where are you thinking of going? I can text the others and see if they’re done sightseeing, or whatever it is they’re doing.”
“I mean just us two.” He stands awkwardly when you’ve turned your attention to him, his feet planted on the sidewalk beneath him as if that’ll help steady his beating heart. 
“Like a date?” 
“Yes,” he says immediately. “Like a date. I, Heeseung, am asking you out on a date. Tonight. At eight.” 
“I, Y/N, would love to go on a date with you. At eight.” 
The twinkle in your eye and your coy nature makes him feel like a teenager again. He leads you into the hotel and walks you to your door before stepping back as you step inside. 
“We’ve got an hour and a half before we need to leave. I’ll come by and then we can walk together. The restaurant is only a five minute walk, so you can wear those new heels I know you feel guilty buying.” 
“They’re really pretty though,” you rationalize. 
Heeseung nods. “Gorgeous, actually. Maybe you’ll be as tall as me if you wear them.” 
“We’ll just have to see, won’t we?” 
Heeseung bites his bottom lip as you disappear behind the door, locking eyes with you until you’re completely out of sight. Flirting with you like this is a completely new phenomenon for him. He’s only daydreamed about what you might say if he said something a little too suggestive or how you might act if he dedicated a wink in your direction. Heeseung had never considered that he’d be the one flustered, cheeks reddening to the point where he starts to feel shy. 
His nerves are endless as he picks out an outfit for tonight. Heeseung sends a quick text to his parents, who had pressured him into bringing nice clothes for a fancy dinner, and spends a few minutes updating them on the events of the past few days. His mother is pleased, to put it lightly, and sends a handful of emoticons to display her happiness. His father tells him words of encouragement before making Heeseung promise to bring you for dinner as his girlfriend, not just his best friend. 
With the last touch of his cologne, Heeseung looks at himself in the mirror and tries not to think too hard about how he looks. You’re Y/N, his best friend since he can remember, and you’ve seen him with snot dripping from his nose. 
“I look fine,” he says to himself in the mirror. “Y/N will like the look because your mom picked it out and we know those two agree on everything. Absolutely nothing to worry about.” 
Heeseung’s only regret is he doesn’t have a bouquet of flowers to present you with as he makes his way to your hotel room. He wipes his palms on his trousers and takes a deep breath before knocking on your door. 
When it opens, he’s met with the sight of you in a short black dress that hugs your hips to accentuate your body. The dress itself is an elegant, spaghetti strap number with a flattering neckline paired with jewelry that makes your skin appear to be glowing. Your heels match well with the dress you’ve chosen, so much so that Heeseung’s jaw drops when his eyes rake over your body. 
“Wow,” he mutters. “Just…wow.” 
“I’m not used to you being speechless,” you say mildly, closing the door behind you. 
“You look gorgeous,” he sputters. “I shouldn’t be seen with you tonight.” 
“You’re dramatic, Hee.” You give him a once over and Heeseung thinks he wouldn’t mind you checking him out as you please. “You look handsome as ever.”
He beams at the compliment and holds his arm out for you. 
“Shall we?”
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
Heeseung knows the type of person you are and what you value, yet he still renders himself shocked when you allow him to take control of the evening. He knows you don’t need to have the expensive consequences that come with a first date or to be sipping the most luxurious wine to be happy, but Heeseung can’t help but feel like you deserve to feel as elegant as you look every once in a while. 
The host leads the two of you to a table with the most gorgeous view of the Parisian scenery. The twinkling stars paired with the dimly lit restaurant adds a romantic touch to the evening. Heeseung mentally thanks Jay for preparing wine recommendations so neither of you have to think too much about it. 
For a moment, he’s worried that he’s reached too far out of his depth. The fanciest thing Heeseung has ever done with you is eat ramen after prom in your best outfits because you both came to the conclusion that prom should be spent with someone you actually like. It’s funny in hindsight when he thinks about it now. 
You look so beautiful like this, allowing yourself to be taken care of by him. Talking to you over the table feels like you’re back in Korea before all that transpired. The food is impeccable and Heeseung thanks his lucky stars that he and Jay got it right. You sing praises left and right. 
Dinner ends much quicker than he’d like as the two of you finish dessert. The waiter tells him the bill has been taken care of and Heeseung sits in his seat awkwardly as you look out the window to see the view from outside. But he hears the live band in the background and sees a few older couples slow dancing from where he sits and makes up his mind. 
“Do you want to dance?” 
You pull your attention to him. For a moment, he thinks he’s asked the most absurd question known to man when he recalls all the times you refused to make a home on the dance floor until you’ve gotten at least four drinks in your system. 
You surprise him. 
“I’d love to, Hee.” 
The room disappears when he leads you to the dance floor. He mimics the other dancers and takes the lead, swaying your bodies back and forth to the melody of the music. You smell of vanilla and cinnamon, a scent so distinctly you that it makes him grin like a man in love. 
“Thank you for tonight,” you say against his neck. “I won’t lie when I say I feel like a princess.”
“That’s because you are a princess,” Heeseung says, kissing the top of your head. “You deserve to be treated like one.”
“I can’t believe you pulled this off so quickly. Don’t restaurants like these require reservations?”
He chuckles nervously. “About that…Jay helped me with the details. I was looking up restaurants to take you to if I got the chance before our trip ended. I guess he saw the list and chose the most romantic one out of the bunch.”
“I owe Jay a thank you.”
“We both do.” 
“I feel lucky to have people in my life who care about me this much,” you say. “I’m so happy you’re back in my life.” 
“I’m happy to be in it.” Heeseung squeezes your waist. “Deep down, it’s always been you that I’ve loved. There’s not a single person who makes me feel the way you do.”
“Yeah?” 
You feel him nod. “I’ll say it until you believe me. I’ll even yell it in this restaurant right now.” 
“Please don’t,” you laugh. “I believe you.” 
The sound of the melody overtakes the conversation. You feel Heeseung’s steady heartbeat as he expertly moves your bodies together on the dance floor. When you close your eyes, you think of this moment and how badly you want to commit it to memory, no longer in anguish over the tribulations of the past year. It feels nice to let go of your worries, even better that you have Heeseung back. 
“I really want to kiss you,” he murmurs under his breath. You pull your head back.
“Then you should kiss me.” 
Heeseung wastes no time and pulls you into him, one arm around your waist and the other behind your neck. His mouth finds yours when he decides he loves the taste of red wine on your lips. It feels poetic to be kissing you for the first time as you’re both dressed to the nines in the middle of Paris. To him, kissing you feels like a breath of fresh air and the start of something new. For you, kissing him feels like coming home. 
When he pulls back, you search for his eyes. 
“Take me back to the hotel,” you whisper. 
Heeseung feels his heart drop. 
“I’m sorry. We can go back now.”
You grip the collar of his slightly unbuttoned dress shirt when he moves. It’s only then that Heeseung sees the want in your eyes and the pure lust that clouds your pupils. 
“Take me back to the hotel.”
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
By the time your elevator reaches your floor, Heeseung’s dress shirt is completely unbuttoned with his toned chest exposed. You’re barely able to detach yourself from his mouth when he pushes you out of the contraption. Your hand reaches for his as you pull him towards your room, digging through your purse when you feel Heeseung’s lips on the back of your neck. 
“You look sexy in my jacket,” he mumbles, pressing wet kisses to your skin. 
“L-Let me find the key.” 
“So sexy.” His hands slide up the side of your body until he grips your waist. 
When the door opens, you pull Heeseung inside with you and lock it shut before pushing his dress shirt off of his body, exposing his muscular build and broad shoulders. You aren’t shy about hiding your lust, gazing all over his chest and abdomen as you feel your core drip with arousal. 
“I like it when you look at me like that,” Heeseung says. He reaches for your hand and places it on his chest. You take the liberty to glide your nails down his abdomen, feeling the way he tenses underneath your touch. 
“I’m really wet,” you say as you eye the tent that has grown in Heeseung’s pants. 
“Are you?” he asks. “You won’t mind if I check?” 
You shake your head and Heeseung takes that as a green light, his hands finding the soft fabric of your dress before pushing his hand underneath it. He whimpers when his fingers come in contact with your wet lips. It’s adorable, the way you push yourself against him to chase his lips while he fingers smear your wetness across the fabric of your panties. 
“Bed,” you mumble against his lips. 
He follows where you pull him, loving the way you take control when you push him onto the mattress. Heeseung distracts himself to catch his breath from the overwhelming sense of pleasure to realize that you’ve started to undo his belt buckle and take his hard cock out of his pants. 
“You don’t have to—”
“I want your cock in my mouth,” you plead, looking him in the eye. “Please let me.” 
You sit politely on your knees as you unbuckle Heeseung’s pants. His chest rises and falls in anticipation and he looks down at you to see that your mouth is watering at the sight of him. 
He’s already fully hard; he has been since you started unbuttoning his shirt in the elevator. You spit directly onto the tip of his cock and he bites his lip at the sudden contact before watching as you swipe your hand up and down himself. 
Heeseung doesn’t want to think about how you learned to do what you’re doing to him. He doesn’t want to think about the boys you’ve kissed or the people who got to see you like this before. What he does know, however, is he’s the only person from here on out who will see you on your knees if he can help it. 
Your mouth envelopes the head and Heeseung emits a short grunt. The tension between you two begins to slowly dissipate as you fit more of his cock inside of your mouth. Your tongue expertly traces every ridge and vein as you push your throat down onto him, causing Heeseung to put his palms on the mattress and throw his head back. 
You hum around him when he moans. He’s itching to put his hand behind your head but refuses the idea, letting you set your own pace. Heeseung watches as you switch your angle, sitting up to rest on your knees to push your head further down on him. He witnessed as you spread your legs, a choked moan coming from his throat in conjunction with a particular gag from your mouth. 
There’s spit everywhere. It’s trailing down your lips and connecting to his cock when you pull yourself from his body. It’s seeping to his pants and he’s about to speak up when your motion attaches itself to his sensitive balls, licking at its warmth while your hand strokes him from atop. 
“That’s it. Fuuuuck.”
He bucks his hips once and curses. Heeseung feels your mouth envelop one of his balls, the pressure of your mouth around it making him feel a kind of euphoria he didn’t know was possible. Your mouth moves to the other to give it the same treatment before retreating back to his cock. This time, your hand massages him from below as you suck on him. 
When you look up at him and wink, he decides enough is enough. 
“Baby,” Heeseung pants, attempting to push your head off of him. He thinks it’s so sexy that you’re turned on while giving him a blowjob. “Baby, please stop. I don’t wanna come yet.” 
You oblige and take your mouth off of him with a popping sound. You sit back and Heeseung stares at you through drooping eyelids in pure shock and amazement at how you’ve managed to pull him to a near orgasm as quickly as you did.
“Come here,” he beckons with his fingers.
He attaches his mouth to yours and pushes his tongue inside of your mouth, exploring the warm, wet walls you have to offer. Heeseung decides that he loves the feeling of your tongue against his and lets you suck on the muscle. 
You take your dress off to reveal sheer panties with nothing else on. Heeseung’s jaw drops at your beauty, but he also cannot believe how sexy his best friend’s body is. To him, you were sculpted from the hands of Aphrodite herself with great love and care. And it’s all for him.
“You are so fucking sexy,” he murmurs, hovering over your body to press kisses to the valley of your chest. You let his hands roam and spread your legs to make room for him. 
Heeseung’s head travels back to your chest and you watch as he envelops your right nipple in his mouth. “Your tits are just perfect.” 
He makes a show out of it, hands cupping your breasts to massage them as his mouth works on you. He pushes your tits together and shoves his face between them, inhaling your scent while his tongue gathers whatever taste your body gives him. Heeseung moves to your left nipple and uses his tongue to flick the hardened bud over and over again until you’re arching your chest into his mouth. 
He grinds himself into your core with his pants still loose around his legs. It brings a moan out of your throat and he swallows it whole with his lips pressed firmly against yours. The friction feels delicious with the fabric of your panties against the hardness of Heeseung’s cock. He grinds against you with the help of your hips rolling into his, your natural wetness coating his cock in your essence. 
Heeseung moves his head to kiss your jawline, moving his mouth all over the expanse of your neck until he kisses right below your earlobe. You let out a particularly loud moan when he does, and Heeseung curses.
“Shit. Yeah baby, make those sounds for me. Let me hear your pretty moans.” 
His mouth attacks the area again and you aren’t shy about it. Your hands tangle in his hair as he kisses your neck and grinds his cock against the wet panties, which have by now molded to the shape of your pussy. 
Heeseung groans at the feeling of a particularly wet gush and lifts his hips enough to elicit a whimper out of your mouth. He experimentally lifts his hips again to align himself with you as he did before. The pressure must feel so good because your mouth hangs open with your eyes boring into his. 
“That’s it,” he encourages. “Does my baby feel good?” You can only nod and he doesn’t blame you. “That’s a good baby. Fuck, you’re so wet, it’s driving me crazy.” 
Heeseung feels your legs wrap around him and the way your heel pushes his lower back into your core. He takes the hint and quickens his pace, wanting nothing more than to see you come for him.
“You gotta come for me now, pretty girl,” he coaxed. “You deserve to come. Won’t you do that for me?” 
Heeseung is sure that he’s never seen or heard anything more erotic compared to the vision of watching you come. Your mouth opens with breathy moans as you focus on your pleasure and your eyes squeeze shut as if you’re trying to savor the moment in your mind.
“Atta girl,” Heeseung praises when your hips grind into his. He keeps himself still and lets your body take over. 
You eventually come down and realize Heeseung has yet to come, but that’s the last thing on his mind. He sinks his body down to come face-to-face with your crotch and licks the come off of the soiled fabric of your panties. The sheerness gives him a sneak peek at your pussy, and he groans when he licks a slow, fat strip up your slit.
“You taste so fucking delicious, baby.” He licks at you again, faster this time. “Tastes like milk and honey.” 
Heeseung kisses your wet panties over and over again, his soft lips providing jolts of pleasure. His hands roam around the soft flesh of your thighs and squeezes them as if he remembers you’re all his to touch. The feeling is one you want to commit to memory, but it seems like Heeseung knows your mind is working overtime because he reaches his hand to find yours and gives it a reassuring squeeze. 
You let his hand go when he pulls it from you to slide the useless barrier down your legs and to undo the straps of your heels. He takes great care to kiss your skin tenderly, starting by your ankle and making his way down just shy of where you need him the most. Heeseung repeats the process on the other leg until he comes face to face with your glistening core, licking his lips as if he doesn’t know where to start. 
“Such a pretty pussy,” he says before placing a soft kiss to your clit.
He repeats the motion, kissing your folds like they’re delicate antiquities that need to be handled with the utmost care. His lips become covered with your essence; he feels you squirm underneath him and uses the expanse of his palms to gently pry your legs open for him, soothing the soft skin of your inner thighs. 
Heeseung tentatively licks your slit and decides he loves the sound of your moans when he has his mouth on you. He does it again, dragging his tongue to feel every ridge and crevice that he’s yet to explore. His mouth feels like a warm comfort with the slow pace he sets, licking you as if he’s trying to tell you how much he loves you without saying it. 
“You taste divine.” 
You look down below to see his hair covering his eyes and brush it away with your hands. Heeseung looks right into your soul and you feel your heart clench, causing you to roll your hips into his face. He merely buries his nose close to you until he bumps your clit with the tip, pushing his wet muscle into you deeper. 
When your moans get lighter and your breathy sounds are the only audible thing in the room aside from his own moans. You open your eyes to see Heeseung humping the mattress below you. The sight is so erotic that you can’t help but let out a loud whine at the thought of Heeseung pleasuring himself while pleasuring you. 
He brings his fingers to your pussy and sways his fingers back and forth until he foregoes his slow pace, favoring a faster one. He abuses your swollen clit while you can only lay there and watch him play with you. Heeseung expertly inserts his middle finger into your seeping hole and bites his lip to concentrate on getting you to come again. 
“I need it,” he confesses, bringing his mouth to lick you as he adds another finger. “I need you to come for me again, baby. Can you do that for me?’
“Yes, Hee,” you pant. “I wanna come so badly.”
“You can do it, baby. You’ve been such a good girl tonight, giving me the best head and letting me make you come. I think you deserve to feel good.” 
“I do,” you nod rapidly. “Fuck, I think I’m coming.”
“That’s right,” he coos, hammering his digits into you while his tongue laps up the juices leaking from your pussy. “So good. You taste so fucking good. Give it to me.” 
He doesn't relent until he’s satisfied. Heeseung cleans the come from your lips as best he can while sneaking his hand to his cock, pumping himself as he tastes your orgasm on his tongue. 
“You’ve crazy,” you mutter as you settle from your high, loving the feeling of Heeseung’s mouth tenderly licking you clean. 
“For you.” He pulls his face away and wipes the back of his hand before pressing a kiss to your clit. 
When he rises to take his pants and boxers off, he sees you with your arm covering your face. 
“Are you doing okay?” 
“Perfect, actually,” you sigh. You remove your arm to see him with his cock in his hands and motion him to come towards the edge of the bed as you crawl on your knees before sitting upright to pull him into a searing kiss. 
“That might be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen you do,” Heeseung says against your mouth. “It’s better than porn, if I’m being honest.” 
You grab his cock and stroke him. “I’ll consider letting you take a video of me when we get back home if you fuck me right now.” 
“Turn around,” he says after an open-mouthed kiss.
You follow his instructions and he groans to himself as you present your perfect pussy to him again. Heeseung sinks to his knees and smacks your ass before shoving his tongue into your hole. He spreads your asscheeks apart and digs his nose against you, licking up the wetness and remnants of your orgasm like it’s his last meal. His tongue licks up your body until he finds your wrinkled muscle and presses a soft kiss to your tightest hole. 
The surprise comes to him when you moan softly. Your body doesn’t jerk away. Rather, you spread your legs further for him and Heeseung moans against your pussy before bringing his tongue to lick over the muscle again. 
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” he asks, dipping his tongue back in.
“Better than I imagined.” 
“You imagined my tongue in your ass, baby?” 
You nod. “I’ve always wanted to know what that feels like.” 
Heeseung doesn’t give you a verbal answer. Instead, he spits into your hole and watches it dribble down to your pussy, licking his way from your incredibly wet folds to your hole once again. He licks over the expanse with the surface of his tongue one, twice, three times before you’re whining for his cock. He wastes no time tearing open the condom and hurriedly places it on himself. 
The first stretch of his cock in your pussy makes him see Heaven. The sharp gasp that comes from your mouth is music to his ears and he’s careful to sink himself into you slowly, inch by inch until you’re telling him he can go further. 
His cock impales you at such a perfect angle that it has you falling to your elbows, your back arched so perfectly that he’s sure you’d be the most popular pornstar if you really wanted to be. He keeps half of his cock in you to allow you to adjust, but he underestimates just how cock hungry you are because you back yourself until he’s filling you to the brim.
“Baby’s such a slut, isn’t she?” Heeseung wonders out loud. He grins when you nod. “I love you like that. So dirty for me.” 
“Only for you,” you say, cheek pressed to the mattress when Heeseung thrusts in you. 
The sound of skin slapping echoes throughout the room. It doesn’t take long for your wet juices to glisten over the back of your thighs and onto Heeseung’s. His hands find purchase on your hips as he pulls your body close to him, loving the way your choked moans become muffled by the mattress below. 
“So. Fucking. Tight,” he moans with detailed thrusts. “So. Fucking. Wet.” 
He climbs on the bed and plants his feet on the blankets, holding your body in place as he pounds into you from above. The angle has you seeing stars and rips moan after moan from you. 
Heeseung grins wickedly. “Such a fuckable body. So perfect.” 
His degradation paired with praise ignites a fire inside of you. You can only moan louder to let Heeseung know exactly how he’s making you feel and you can’t help but think you deserved to be fucked exactly the way Heeseung is fucking you.
The pleasure feels like an explosion of a thousand suns. Your body is warm from the hours you’ve spent in the hotel room and your neighbors getting a good night’s sleep is the least of your concerns. Heeseung’s cock drills into you from above like he’s a sex god and it nearly brings you to tears. 
He turns you over carefully until you’re laying flat on your back with your head propped against the pillows. He steals one from you and puts it underneath the small of your back to create leverage before lining up his cock with your entrance and pushing himself in again.
Heeseung thrusts like he’s got to prove just how in love with you he is. Your wanton moans fill the room with his low grunts as his cock continually hits the one spot that makes you see stars, over and over again.
But you know he could do more to make you feel better. He must notice you in deep thought because he slows his hips. 
“What is it, baby?” Heeseung asks when he notices your eyebrows knit together. “Is this okay? Do you need me to stop so we can take a break?”
“Take it off,” you whisper. His hips have faltered and his pace stutters at your words.
“Take what off?”
“The condom.” Heeseung nearly chokes. “Take the condom off.” 
“Baby—”
“I just wanna feel you.” 
Heeseung curses and his hips automatically drill into yours at the request out of pure shock. He can’t lie to himself. He’s thought about it multiple times since you left for Europe and as he’s come to term with his feelings for you. The cute fantasies about taking you on dates to dinner or drive in theaters transform into daydreams about dirty affairs in his bedroom with his seed leaking out of your perfect hole. 
Still, he doesn’t believe it.
“Please, Hee,” you plead, arching your chest towards him. “Let me feel you. Don’t you want to come inside me?”
“Fuck,” he falters, his forehead on yours. “You can’t just say that…I can’t be risky with you.” 
“Yes you can.” He watches you bite your lip and feels your hands push him off of you. Heeseung doesn’t put up a fight when he slips out of your warm hole and feels your hands grip his cock, desperately trying to tug the condom off of him. 
Heeseung sees the pathetic rubber in your hands when you bring it up for him to see. It’s glistening and his mouth drools at the sight, lips parting enough as if he stares at it in disbelief. He groans lowly in your ear as he peppers a few wet kisses to your neck. 
You spread your legs wider in the air and grip his cock in your head, pumping him a few times before letting his bare tip rest against your hole. His sharp intake is enough to make you bite your lip. 
“Pussy’s so wet,” he says against your neck, pushing an inch inside of you. “God, I could come like this.”
“You can.” 
“No, baby. Gonna fuck you the way you deserve before I come.”
With that sentiment, Heeseung pushes himself inside of you until he’s fully sheathed within your walls. He relishes the way you gasp at the sudden movement and he uses this angle to his advantage, positioning his ear next to your mouth to hear your delicious sounds. 
He moves his hips at such a pace that it makes you feel like your body’s bouncing on top of the soft mattress below you. Heeseung presses his chest against yours to kiss you like his life depends on it, tongue invading the privacy of your mouth but you couldn’t care less where his mouth goes. He can feel your nipples on his skin and groans into your mouth when you clench at a particularly hard thrust. 
“S-So good,” you stutter against his mouth with a breathy moan. Heeseung feels your arm around his shoulders, scratching at his back. “Fuck, fuck!”
“Mhm,” he coaxed. “Such a good baby. You look so pretty underneath me.” 
With a new sense of purpose, Heeseung lifts himself to push himself into you at a deeper angle. He forces his hips into you harder, your hands coming to your chest to cup your tits to give you something to hold in the meantime.
“That’s right, beautiful. Squeeze your tits for me.” 
You do, pinching and twisting your nipples until you hear Heeseung moan above you. It sounds nearly animalistic, the way his throat emits a groan that sounds so primal. He sees the dirty smile you paint your mouth with and leans his head down to press a kiss to your forehead before his hand comes to your cheeks, squeezing them between my fingers.
“You like it when I fuck you like this?” Heeseung asks, hips rolling against your own pelvis. When you nod, he gives you a nasty smile of his own and gives you a few harsh thrusts for good measure before pulling himself off of your chest with his cock still inside of you. 
Heeseung sits on his knees and pulls out just far enough where his hot tip remains buried inside of you, relishing in the panty breaths you emit as he watches your chest rise and fall. You look so beautiful to him with your hair messed up against the pillow beneath you and with a few faint hickeys on your chest and neck. Heeseung thinks that all of his wildest dreams could never compare to how gorgeous you look when you’re positioned directly where he wants you. 
You don’t complain when he pulls out to rest his cock on your wet, bare pussy. You wince at the loss and let him slide himself up and down, biting your lip when he grazes your swollen clit over and over again. 
The man above you lifts your right leg so that he can grip you tighter. You relinquish any control left in your body as Heeseung curses and kisses the side of your ankle. He dips the head of his cock inside and thrusts shallowly as if to tease, but you know he’s exploring all the way his cock looks like against your own body. 
It feels euphoric. The whole affair is dirty, but it’s the kind of dirty that makes you want to do it again. It’s the kind of dirty that makes this night an event you’ll want to remember for the rest of your night because Heeseung had poured his entire heart and soul for you to take. 
For Heeseung, this pleasure is less about knowing you have him permission to put himself inside you. You’ve always been so sure of yourself and your body; it’s something Heeseung has always admired about you as a person. Growing up with your insecurities of relationships and dating might’ve made you feel like a late bloomer; to Heeseung, your tendency to keep your head straight has always been a testament to how knowledgeable you are about yourself and about others. You save yourself for people who are worthy of you, and god, does he want to be worthy of you.
“I love you,” Heeseung whispers from above you. His eyes are closed and he pays no mind to the feeling your pussy gives him. Flashes of your memories stitch together like a film reel with your laughter as the soundtrack. He doesn’t think he wants to hear anything else for the rest of his life. 
Just for good measure, he whispers it again. “I love you so much.” 
“And I love you.”
Heeseung opens his eyes to see your tender ones, cheeks flushed from the sudden compliment. He always liked that he knew how to get you to blush when no one else couldn’t. This time, a sense of pride blooms in his chest. 
“I’ll never let you down,” he confesses. “And if I do, I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” 
“I know, baby.” Heeseung’s hand cups your cheek and caresses it. “I trust you.” 
That’s enough for him to release your leg from his grip and pound himself into you like his life depends on bringing you to peak happiness. 
Heeseung’s palms are planted firmly on either side of your body as his hips roll gracefully against yours, the hot, wet mess between the two of you splashing on both of your thighs. He watches your eyes close shut and as your back arches to relieve some of the pressure, feeling somewhat proud of himself when he watches as your hands grab at the sheets for stability. 
There’s nothing that compares to watching you orgasm. Your eyebrows knit as if you’re concentrating while your mouth stands slightly ajar at the euphoric feeling of that single knot that’s threatening to come undone until it does. All of the girls he’s deluded into thinking he liked could never compare to the looks and sounds you’re making. 
“That’s it,” he coaxes softly. “Cream my cock, baby. That’s a good girl.” 
Heeseung feels you push and clench around him, gushing until there’s nowhere left for your come to go. He peeks down at where the two of you meet and groans when he sees his cock becoming painted in a sheer layer of white. It edges him on and the moment he locks his eyes with yours, his hips begin to stutter and he spills all he has to offer inside of you. 
He comes with short breaths as if he can’t believe you’ve allowed him to do so. Your hips move up and down as if to milk him for all he’s worth while Heeseung’s trying his best to balance his body on top of yours, grateful that some of his gym workouts prevent him from completely collapsing on top of you to.
His come seeps from your bodies and he pulls out, a few droplets splattering on your pussy lips. He nudges the tip against it, smearing his paint across your canvas and marveling at the sight. 
“My good girl,” he murmurs, eyes locked in at his handy work.
“I’ve never let anyone come inside of me,” you say with a fond expression. Your arm comes to brush Heeseung’s hair from his face before cradling his cheek when he looks at you in surprise. 
“Really?” 
You nod, biting your cheek. “Well, I always knew you were it for me. I didn’t want anyone else tainting what’s yours.” 
“Mine?” he asks, catching his breath. “You mean it? You’re mine.”
“I’m yours, Hee.” 
“All mine,” he mutters to himself in disbelief. 
You still feel his cock working itself against you. He’s still hard, a wonder after your hours locked away in your hotel room. It makes you laugh.
“No one has ever compared to you either,” Heeseung says. He doesn’t take his eyes off of you as he continues toying with your pussy. “Even when I fooled myself into thinking I didn’t like you.”
You laugh. “Well that’s good to hear. I realized all the guys I went after while I was abroad either looked like you or reminded me of you.” 
“I can confidently and stupidly say the same.” 
Your laughs echo through the room. Heeseung pulls your body upright, not caring that your mixed come is leaking on his cock and his bare lap. He kisses you with tender care, lips moving at a slow pace while his hands roam over the expanse of your back while your hands are on his broad shoulders. Heeseung could live like this everyday if you’d let him. 
You smile midway through when you feel his fully hardened cock against you. Heeseung apologizes quietly against your lips but feels you shake your head, pulling back to push him against the headboard until he’s comfortably seated. 
He looks at your pussy when you hover above him, the white cream still sticking to you as you grip his cock. Heeseung can’t believe his eyes when he understands what you’re about to do. Before he can even think, you align yourself with his cock and sink until you’re stuffed with him.
“Shit,” he curses through his teeth. 
“What good is coming inside of me if you don’t do it again and again, Hee?” 
“That might be the hottest thing you’ve ever said to me.” 
“Oh, yeah?”
You don’t move just yet, opting to press small kisses to Heeseung’s face. You kiss his forehead, both temples, his nose, both eyelids, and the apples of his cheeks before placing a kiss to his lips. 
“Before we leave, I want you to fuck me against that window,” you say, turning your head to the window that glimpses the city below. 
“But people can see,” is Heeseung’s first comment.
“So?” 
He chokes and when you feel his cock twitch inside of you, you can’t help but laugh at him.
“I’ve heard talk about your escapades, Lee. Why so shy with me?” 
He smacks your asscheek. “Naughty girl. Didn’t know you were nasty like that.” Heeseung gives you that kind of teasing smile that has you folding for him all over again. “Alright then, humor me. What else do you want to do before we leave?” 
“I’d love to give you a blowjob while we shower, too.” 
“That can certainly be arranged. Anything else?” 
You look around the room. “I kind of want to see you eat me out while I sit on the desk chair. Makes me think you’re some kind of secretary who’s desperate for my pussy.”
“I am desperate for your pussy,” Heeseung reminds you. “What if I’m the stone cold CEO and you’re the cute secretary whose ass I dream about?” 
You swat his chest. “This is my fantasy. You can have yours when we get home.” 
Heeseung raises his eyebrow. “Mm, you sure?”
“Positively,” you nod. Heeseung’s hands travel from your ass to your hips and guides you up and down his cock, letting you set the pace after the brutal first round from a few minutes prior. 
“Gonna fuck you in and on my car, since you like being watched so much,” Heeseung teases. His words seem to make your pussy clench and hips move faster. He forgoes any shyness when speaking about his fantasies and spills his every thought.
“I always thought you looked so cute in your old school uniform. I’ve always wanted to take you in that skirt they gave you.”
“I’ll buy one of those sexy schoolgirl costumes and surprise you for your birthday,” you say, locking your eyes with him. “Oh, professor! Is there anything I can do to raise my grade?”
Heeseung laughs at your antics, but the images of you in the costume aforementioned makes his grip on your body tighter. 
“I selfishly want to watch you suck me off while I play with the guys.” He says it in a way that makes him avert his gaze and you can see a faint blush on his face. “I-I saw this video on Twitter. It looks hot.”
“I can do that for you.” You kiss both of his burning cheeks.
“But mostly, I just want you to sit on my face. Mad at me? Sit on my face. Sad? Sit on my face. Happy to see me? Sit on my face.” 
“Simp,” you grunt, thighs burning from pushing yourself on and off of Heeseung’s cock. 
“And proud.” He smacks both ass cheeks again. “Now what do you say, baby? If you ride me until you come, you can blow me in the bathroom before I fuck you in front of the entirety of Paris. Can you do that for me?”
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
The next morning, you meet Heeseung and the rest of the guys in the lobby while Jay checks out on behalf of all of you. Jake’s the first to see you coming. 
“You’re glowing and I don’t know if I like that.” He raises his eyebrow at Heeseung, who has pulled you into him by your waist. 
“At least some of us are getting laid,” you retort. “I don’t recall seeing anyone do the walk of shame even though you had the room to yourself.” 
Riki and Sunoo don’t try to contain their laughter as Jake’s cheeks turn a shade of pink. He rolls his eyes when you look at him, but shakes his head and punches your arm with your first. 
“Nah, I’m really glad you two got that out of your system and worked it out.”
“You guys had major sexual tension,” Sunoo comments. 
“Thank God Y/N’s room was at the end of the hall,” says Sunghoon. “I don’t know how their neighbors felt but I can sleep peacefully knowing I didn’t have to hear all of that.” 
“Okay, enough,” Heeseung laughs. “We get it, we had a lot of sexual tension and now we’re fine.”
“So you guys are boyfriend-girlfriend?” Jungwon asks. 
“Y/N is my girlfriend and I am her boyfriend.” 
“I will key his car if he hurts you again,” Riki tells you, looking at Heeseung after he’s finished speaking. You detach yourself from his waist and bring your arms around Riki to give him a squeeze.
“Thanks, Riki.”
“Okay, we should call the cabs right now so we can get to the airport early,” Jay says from behind you. 
“Jay is such a dad,” Jungwon whispers. 
He pays no mind to Jungwon’s words, instead focusing on the way Heeseung pulls you into his chest. It warms his heart in ways he can’t explain.
“Congratulations, you two. Let’s go home.”
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
add yourself to my taglist !!
taglist: @baevsxii @lillotus17 @syzavxy @mrmld @nikilvrfvr.
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vantxx95 · 21 days ago
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gold af rec ! <3 tots in love
𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒!
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(♡) - my personal favorites (🔞) - CONTAINS NSFW CONTENT
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NEW BEGINNINGS - @ikeuverse (flirting with your brother's brother-in-law wasn't in your plans after returning from studying abroad. it wasn't something you were going to stop either since heeseung was the epitome of beauty. but when there's another woman's name in the story. what happens? you don't want to be caught between a betrayal… or so you thought.) (♡)
MARRY ME - @ikeuverse (ever since you met lee heeseung, he told you that the two of you were going to get married. all the time, at every opportunity, he reinforced it until one day, drunk, you accepted. was he dreaming or did it really happen? it wouldn't be so bad to fall for his jokes for once.)
TIDES OF REGRET - @pprodsuga (in the year since heeseung first rejected your love confession, you've tried everything to get over him. a trip to europe makes you realize you miss your former best friend more than anything, and it makes heeseung realize he's got it all wrong.) (♡)(🔞)
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER - @i2sunric (your daughter asks heeseung to tell the greatest love story of all and he takes the chance to narrate how he met you, the love of his life.) (♡)
JUNE BLOSSOMS - @soobnny (synopsis. as the month of may ends, you wonder what june holds for you and heeseung (especially with no more need to fake date.)
LATE SUMMER LOVIN' - @4am-enha (you desperately want to spend your last summer here in town with your friends, only to find out almost all of them are away on vacation. that is, all of them but heeseung. the one friend you’d never really been that close with.)
BITE ME - @drunkhazed (“I’m kind of confused still.” You admit, anxiously shuffling to sit without making eye-contact. Heeseung chuckles plopping down by your side, arm slinging back over your shoulder to keep you pressed against him.)(🔞)
COFFEE & CREAM - @ham-st4r (one chilly night after a long work shift, you’re unfortunately forced to walk home. Cause you left your bag at work, half way through your journey you stumble across a homeless man who you naturally offer money to, and he though he refuses. You give it to him anyway, and down the road, you’ll find that those two dollars changed not only his life but yours as well.) (🔞)
IT'S CUPID, STUPID - @mygnolia (To hell with Lee Heeseung, you couldn't find someone you hated more than the boy who's by your side no matter what. You figured that maybe the summer before university would be the best way to finally let go of him, and to leave the hate you have in your childhood- but no. What do you mean you have to spend ALL summer with him?)
FUCK BUDDIES - @dimepdf (y/n and heeseung and fwb after heeseung win in his football match y/n gives him the best reward)
TEETH - @gyuuberryy (you were not thrilled about the move in of your new neighbour. mostly because he was so strange and seemed to be hiding something dark. and partly because you couldn’t stop yourself from getting closer to him because of your unwanted attraction. you were determined to expose his dark secret and get rid of him once and for all. but, it was proving to be a difficult task because he was just so irresistible..and needy.)
PLAYER RANK: PLATINUM - @simpjaes (You’re not sure what’s worse, your sister’s boyfriend or your sister’s boyfriend’s friends. What you thought would be a great deal in living with her throughout college turns into a major game of cat and mouse, where you’re unsure if your moral compass is pointing in the right direction solely because you suspect someone is wearing a giant sex magnet to throw it off.) (🔞)
RUDE - @4wkjun (heeseung has never loved anyone as much as he loves y/n. y/n’s father has never hated someone as much as he hates heeseung. but it doesn’t matter, heeseung’s gonna marry y/n anyway.)
I OFFER YOU MY EVERYTHING - @heegyukeluv (You never cared about sex, until you did. You grew too afraid of it, scared of disappointing the other person or showing your inexperience. But then you met Heeseung, the hot basketball captain that stole your heart and became your biggest fantasy. ) (🔞)
VERBOTEN - @heesbaby (a bad stroke of luck saw lee heeseung, your dads coworker, moving into your small apartment until he found his feet again. emotionally unavailable and a workaholic, you were going to try your absolute hardest to make him loosen up. even if it meant breaking a few of the house rules he'd set out.) (🔞) (♡)
10 DAYS TO FALL IN LOVE - @luvyeni (you and heeseung used to be bestfriends as children — he even told you he'd marry you one day. but then you went to highschool and things changed , he dyed his hair and started hanging out with a new group group of friends. through all that his love never changed for you — has yours changed for him?)
RENT A BOYFRIEND - @jayujus (in which jeon y/n is desperate to find a boyfriend ASAP because she needs a date for her family's mixer. her best friend, ningning, introduces her to a website perfect for this situation!)
CHERRY CHAPSTICK - @angelwonie (ever since you met lee heeseung, he told you that the two of you were going to get married. all the time, at every opportunity, he reinforced it until one day, drunk, you accepted. was he dreaming or did it really happen? it wouldn't be so bad to fall for his jokes for once.)
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vantxx95 · 3 months ago
Text
ITS SO FUCKING GOOD MUAH MUAH MUAH
BED CHEM
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amidst trying to keep your gpa up and not get kicked off the cheer team, you take your friend’s advice and ask jake sim, one of the smartest students in your campus, to tutor you. you see him as a snarky know-it-all who’s obsessed with correcting your every mistake, and he sees you as a dumb cheerleader with a rep for breaking hearts. but as things unfold, you discover you both have something to learn from each other, and it’s a lot more than just algebra.
pairing) nerd!jake x cheerleader!reader
genre) smut/pwp, enemies to lovers, college au, fluff, angst
contents) f!reader, popular!jake/reader, jake's a smart a.ss [& a jerk at first but let him cook], basketball player!heeseung/jay, temporary reader x hee, exes, misunderstood reader, brief conversation about throwing up, eventual pining, desc. of anxiety, fear of emotional intimacy, jealousy, lack of communication, happy ending, [ft. itzy's chaeryeong, skz's felix, & layla]
smut warnings) under cut!
wc) 14.5k
now playing) bed chem — sabrina carpenter
notes) i took the lyrics “come right on me, i mean camaraderie!” and ran with it. fic’s moodboard here!
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smut warnings) several smut scenes, switch!jake/reader, angry s.ex?, s.ex in locker room, jake fu.cks reader in cheer uniform, ti.tty sucking, or.al fixation!jake, munch!jake, or.al s.ex, degra.dation, begging, hair pulling, c.um swallowing, exhibi.tionism, reader makes jake almost c.um in his pants during class, s.ex in janitor’s closet [they do it in a bed eventually lol], lots of kissing, praise, flexible!reader, pull out method [dont], jake slaps reader’s thigh once, petnames [baby, little/baby/good girl], reader mentions being on the pill, raw s.ex
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the gym is bustling, filled by cheerleaders and the basketball team as you all practice for the game on wednesday.
“okay! 5 minute break and then we’ll start those high kicks again!” your cheer captian announces after confirming to your coach with some silent hand gestures.
you follow your team as they walk to the bleachers, most grabbing their water bottles or sitting down and wiping the sweat off their skin with a towel.
you reach into your duffel bag, rummaging with your hand blindly for a few moments before realizing you don’t feel your water bottle. unzipping it completely, you search for a bit before letting your head drop with an exhausted sigh.
“what’s wrong?” chaeryeong asks from the seat above yours as she redoes her ponytail.
“i somehow forgot my water.”
“oh, you can have some of mine!” she offers, raising her owala to you.
“do you know how much bacteria is probably in that?” you smile with a teasing grimace, even though you really do mean what you say.
“wow, not even a thank you!” chae pretends to be hurt, putting an offended hand to her chest. “i bet you’re a stanley girly, aren’t you?”
“nope. just a plain water bottle i got from target. secure screw cap, no straw, easy to clean.”
“are you trying to sell it to me?” chae quirks a playful brow and you laugh, waving a hand in front of you as you start to walk towards the gym’s exit. “if you want to drink from your mold filled bottle go ahead. i’m gonna go to the water fountain.”
chaeryeong sticks her tongue out at you just as you enter the hallway, so you make sure to pop your head back in and do the same childish expression at her before approaching the fountain and leaning down to take a drink.
“oh! s-sorry.” a deep voice says as you see sneakers suddenly appear in your downward view. you wipe your mouth and lift your head up to see heeseung, who evidently just came out of the restroom and almost walked right into you.
his hair remains in his face despite him brushing it back with a muscular arm, glistening biceps almost distracting you enough that you forget to answer. but once your eyes travel from his sculpted arms, to his jersey that clings to his sweaty chest, and finally his sweet, doe eyes that stare at you, you remember that he’s expecting you to reply.
“no, it’s okay! don’t worry about it.”
“did you forget your water too?” he chuckles, the sound sending a flurry of butterflies to erupt in your stomach.
“yeah…” you answer lamely.
apparently all of your hot cheerleader mojo goes down the drain when you’re in front of lee heeseung, your college’s top basketball player. (it also doesn’t help that you’ve been crushing on him for a good month now.)
“too?” you echo, unable to think of anything else to keep the conversation going but desperately wanting to. despite having regular practices in the same vicinity, this is the first conversation you’ve had, aside from some lingering stares and a few shared smiles.
“jay usually brings a cooler of drinks, but he didn’t this time. probably forgot.”
“oh, pre game nerves, perhaps?” you joke, smiling and tilting your head teasingly.
“we’re not nervous.” heeseung smirks with a flirty tone. “we always win.”
“cocky, are we?”
“maybe. or maybe you cheering for me throughout the game is my lucky charm.”
you bite down your grin to keep yourself under control, delighted at how well your dry conversation has turned into some playful flirting. you hoped he was into you, but you’re not going to assume that from a few distant smiles.
“what makes you think i’m cheering just for you?”
heeseung chuckles and steps closer, you noting how he has to tilt his head down to look at you because he’s so damn tall. his eyes zero in on yours, an intensity filling the air as he takes a breath to speak—
but right before he can, another voice interrupts as it echos down the hallway.
“yo, hee! they’re needing you back, man.” a shorter man runs up, it not taking you long to recognize him.
it’s jake sim, one of the smartest seniors on your campus.
you feel like you’re from completely different worlds whenever you see him. he’s popular like you, yes. but he has a pretty clean rep with perfect grades to match. professor’s love him for his kiss-ass attitude and students…well.
they want to fuck him— or him fuck them. either way. nothing really matters to anyone when your face is as cute as his and you have a hot aussie accent.
not that you relate to the any of those sentiments. you actually find him annoying as fuck.
“oh,” jake mumbles when he notices you behind heeseung’s larger frame, sounding almost bothered by your presence.
well the feeling’s mutual.
“come on, dude. they sent me to get you.” he further urges, grabbing heeseung’s arm.
“what are you even doing here, jake?” you ask with a hand raising to your hip, only a hint of your annoyance at the interruption showing in your tone. he’s not on the basketball team, neither cheer. he has no reason to be here.
“not right now, pom-poms.” the boy dismisses, not even bothering to look at you as he drags heeseung off.
you scoff in utter disbelief at his rudeness.
he always steals the spotlight when you’re about to answer a question in your one shared class, and now he’s stealing your man? (granted, he’s not your man— but he could have been, if jake hadn’t ran over!)
you stand and wonder what he was about to say. what if that conversation could have ended with him finally asking for your number!
“y/n! c’mon, girl! it’s go time!” one of your team member’s call out from the gym doorway.
you sigh before running to join your squad.
(❤︎)
it’s taken you to nearly be under your minimum gpa to admit that you’re failing algebra, a course you’re required to take. not only can this harm your future, but you could get kicked off the cheer team.
“well, you have to do something!” chaeryeong whisper-yells at you as you sit in physics class.
“i don’t want to have to pay for a tutor, i’m broke enough as it is.”
“then ask one of your friends.” chae suggests.
“…none of my friends are that smart,” you giggle under your breath, chaeryeong slapping you on the arm and causing an echo to resound in the room. like two mischievous children, chae retracts her hand to her lap and you straighten your posture, waiting to make sure no one is looking over at you.
a few moments later, and chae leans closer to you, eyes staring forward in an attempt to be more subtle.
"just ask jake. he's an engineer major. he’s gotta be good at algebra. and i heard he's loaded, so he doesn’t even need your money."
"hell no." you answer plainly, lips falling into a straight line as you glance over at the boy who’s rows away from you, nearly at the front of the class.
try hard.
"oh, come on, y/n. he's not that bad."
"he is. and besides, we’re not friends and i couldn’t ever bring myself to ask a favor of him, nevertheless for free!”
“he’s your best shot, dude. it’s either this, or officially screw yourself over.”
chaeryeong’s words— though not eloquently put, are true. and they annoyingly ring in your head for the remainder of the class.
chae hurries out to go to her next class, as does most everyone else. but you have a little bit of time.
so you linger in your seat, watching how meticulous jake is about placing his things in his backpack, wondering how he manages to straighten his glasses in the most egotistical way possible. you wait until jake starts walking towards the exit and is farther away from the professor, not wanting to have this conversation right in front of him. finally (reluctantly) you stand up and catch up to jake’s side.
he doesn’t bother slowing down, continuing to walk.
“hey, uh- jake,” you begin, feeling weird to say his name to his face. you cut to the chase, not caring enough to keep up impressions with him. “look, i need a tutor. i’m-“
“no, sorry.” he cuts you off simply, leaving you a tad stunned as your stride is broken. you stare at the back of his head until he turns a corner, then you go jogging after him.
“what? but, i-i”
“i don’t want to have to spend my free time tutoring someone.” jake explains, glancing at you before looking away just as quickly.
“i can pay you.” you say, innerly embarrassed at how fast your resolve has crumbled. chaeryeong would be laughing at you if she could see this right now.
“not interested.”
you can almost hear her in your brain…
“well, there’s gotta be something!”
jake finally comes to a sudden halt, almost causing you to run into his backpack before he turns to face you.
“i’m assuming it’s grammar you need help with?”
your initially surprised expression drops into a glare as you reply with a clearly fed up, “no. algebra.”
jake seems to ponder this for a moment, before smiling at you in a way that actually seems like it may be genuine (or at least not entirely snarky).
“walk my dog.”
“huh?” is that a euphemism for something?
“my dog, layla. she’s full of energy but sometimes i’m just too tired after classes or work. do you like animals?”
“i’m a biology major.”
jake looks a bit stunned, eyes blinking to open wider as they skim over your appearance for a second.
“what?” you start, very clearly offended. “why do you look so surprised?”
“i just thought it’d be…something else.”
“like what?”
“i don’t know. something in the creative field?”
“that’s stereotypical.”
jake bites on his bottom lip, you realizing he’s trying to conceal a smile, but before you can get mad about it— he continues.
“look, if you want it, we have a deal. yes or no, pom-poms?”
a flare of anger sparks inside you every single time he refers to you as ‘pom-poms’.
with lips pressed into an agitated line, you stretch out your open palm demandingly. “give me your phone.”
“why?”
“so i can give you my number and type in the contact name myself. my names y/n, not pom-poms.”
jake laughs under his breath, handing you his phone and watching as you type in your information.
“so is that a yes?”
“yes. can we meet tomorrow?”
“at my place.” jake agrees. “jay’s my only roommate so it should be less distracting for you.”
you hand jake back his phone, the man giggling at the little wave emoji you sent to yourself through his number so you’d have it in your phone.
“by the way, i already knew your name.”
“then why do you always call me pom-poms?”
“becaause…you always have them?” jake answers like it’s obvious. you scoff, putting an unamused hand to your hip.
“i don’t have them right now, do i?”
“no, and it’s honestly a little eerie.” he smirks, clearly intentionally getting under your skin and enjoying every second of it.
“whatever,” you exhale, completely over the conversation. “i gotta go to my next class. see ya.”
“see ya, pom-poms.”
…jerk.
(❤︎)
heeseung was right, they won the game, and his team wanted to go out and celebrate. it wasn’t a big win or anything, just a casual competition, but every now and then they like to celebrate their wins by going out to eat or a casual hang out at someone’s dorm. you also think they do it so they have an excuse to invite you and your cheer squad to hang out.
and this time was no different. after the game you all piled in friend’s cars and headed over to a small but good local restaurant nearby. unfortunately, you never got a chance to talk to heeseung. the restaurant was smaller and a bit packed with all of you in there, and you and hee ended up being seated far away from each other. all the different conversations and bustle of the restaurant covered up anyone’s voices besides who was right next to you, so you couldn’t even hear him.
still, it was fun. you ended up rolling into bed a little past 1 am.
which you’re now really regretting as you had to wake up at 5 am to get ready and rush to conditioning practice. once you’ve finished your drills, showered, and are walking to your first class of the day, you decided to text jake.
you: hey 👋 we still down for today
jake sim: Yes.
okay. one text and you’re already seeing some similarities in how he texts with your 60 year old uncle.
you: there a certain time i should come
you: also can u give me ur building number
jake: Is there*
you: huh
jake: IS there a certain time I should come?*
jake: Do you have something against vowels and punctuation?
you: omg!!
you: just tell me the fuckin time and address!!?!
you: is that enough punctuation for you?
jake: …
jake: Fucking*
(❤︎)
after cheer practice you hop in your car and enter in the address that was like pulling teeth for jake to finally give you. you can tell by looking at the address that it’s off campus, and as you pull up in jake’s driveway you realize chaeryeong was right when she said jake was loaded.
okay, maybe not loaded loaded, but he’s definitely well off, judging by the outside of his very nice home, perfectly stripe cut grass and shapely shrubbery. there’s even multiple cars here, which you note with a bit of confusion.
you stand and knock at the big, sculpted wooden doors for a minute, before simply trying the knob, which is luckily unlocked.
when you step inside you here distant voices.
deciding to follow the sound, it leads you to a billiard room where you see heeseung, jake and jay playing pool. they’re all stood around while a blonde haired man has his back to you, leaned over as he angles his shot. they still haven’t noticed your presence yet, and you feel incredibly awkward despite being invited to be here.
“um…jake?”
at your voice, all the men turn at once, the blonde man revealing his face to you.
you’re struck with horror as you both stare wide eyed at each other. someone’s speaking but you don’t catch it, everything sounding like it’s under water.
it’s lee felix. aka your ex that you abruptly ghosted after almost a year into your relationship.
“y/n?” felix utters, and it’s like you just breached the water’s surface, a sudden wave of consciousness washing over you as everything comes back into focus.
“y/n, i’m so sorry! i legitimately forgot!” jake says, and you take your opportunity to look at him and away from felix.
“it’s- its okay, i just…um,” you’re about to offer to leave, before heeseung speaks up.
“just stay, y/n. ever played pool?” he smiles sweetly, and the goosebumps that have raised on your skin soothe a little at his comforting expression.
“yeah! we can play cutthroat!” jay exclaims, already going over to the rack to get you a cue.
“she can just use mine.” heeseung stops him, coming to your side and causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach.
“we’ve come close enough to poking someone’s eye out already, i don’t think we need more pointy sticks in the equation.” he laughs.
“okay, but i’m going first, since i was going to win that last game anyways.”
“as if, bro!” jay tries with jake. “i was gonna win!”
as heeseung moves to intervene the two boys and rearrange the balls on the table, at some point felix silently appears by your side, startling you as he softly says “have you played cutthroat before?”
“no,” you answer just as softly as the boys fill in the silence with their bickering. “i don’t even know how to play regular pool.”
felix laughs with a shining smile, and your chest fills with bittersweet nostalgia at the familiar yet almost forgotten memory of the deep timber of felix’s laugh and the crinkle of his nose that often pairs with it.
“don’t worry, cutthroat is actually a pretty good game for your first time despite the name. want me to show you how to hold your cue?”
“is that the stick thing?” you ask, and felix bursts into higher pitched giggles, the warmth of his aura making the tension in your body melt away.
(❤︎)
so much for jake’s place being ‘less distracting’. it’s 9 pm and you don’t think you’re actually going to have a session with jake tonight. but oh well, you’re actually having fun!
after about two hours of playing pool and just hanging out, you ask jake where the bathroom is before walking down the long hallway.
as you’re walking back, coming up to the archway of jake’s living room you all ended up migrating to, you hear heeseung speaking.
“i didn’t know you were tutoring her?”
“yeah,” jake answers with a huffed laugh. “i haven’t actually tutored her yet, and i probably never will.”
your brows furrow as you halt your feet, standing in the hallway silently to listen.
“what do you mean?” another voice asks. you think it’s jay.
“i don’t think she’s really looking to brush up on her algebra, man. she’s a typical dumb cheerleader, she’s probably just over here because she knows i’m friends with the basketball team.”
“dude-“ heeseung starts, but another thicker aussie accent interrupts.
“that’s fucked, man! how can you say that about her?”
there’s a tense few moments of silence, and you’re not sure if you wished you could see what’s happening or glad that you can’t. you blink as moisture starts to build up in your eyes.
“me? what about you? i’m surprised you’re defending her. didn’t she drop you like you meant nothing to her right when your relationship started to get serious?”
you can’t. you can’t listen anymore.
as quiet and quickly as possible, you head back to the bathroom before a watery gasp can expose your presence. a hand is rubbing at your eyes as tears stream down your face when your hands feel the cool metal of the doorknob.
you shut the door behind you and slide down it, onto your butt, crying into your knees that you wrap your arms around.
then you feel something wet swipe up your leg and you flinch, looking up to see a blonde little dog looking at you curiously.
“oh,” you whisper aloud to yourself, trying not to think about how stuffy you sound. “you must be layla, huh?”
the dogs mouth opens up to let her tongue hang out, appearing like she’s giving you a smile as she sits down obediently, tail wagging behind her.
you can’t help but let out a somber little giggle, wiping a tear off your cheek before leaning over to pet her on the head.
“you’re cute.” you smile, letting her soft fur and rhythmic panting calm you down.
a few minutes later the door opens, jake’s head popping in.
“oh, there you are.” he says, watching how layla is spread out on her back in your lap as you pet her belly.
“did you get lost?”
“uh, yeah.” you take the excuse, gently pushing layla off and standing up. “couldn’t find the bathroom.”
“heeseung and felix are about to leave, but they wanted to say bye.” jake explains, and you follow him out the door and to wherever the boys are.
“okay.” you reply, trying to make your voice sound smooth and not like you were just crying.
“hey, jake?”
the aussie looks over at you as you continue walking.
“can we still get a short tutoring sesh in?” you ask innocently on the outside, but inwardly there’s the burn of spite in your lungs. “i know it’s kinda late but i really need it.”
“oh…yeah, sure.” jake answers, looking away from you.
you bite down a salty smirk.
(❤︎)
after going over to jake’s house you turned his texts to mute and haven’t looked ever since.
it’s saturday night, which means football competition. a neighboring team is at your college’s home field to play head to head, and right now, it’s anybody’s game.
you’re in the middle of a cupie stunt right now, your base holding your body up with one hand as you focus on balancing and keeping on a big smile.
once your team’s routine is over you go to sit on the sidelines as the announcer’s voice booms over the speakers.
“hey, i’m gonna go get a gatorade.” chaeryeong taps on your shoulder, pointing at the food vendor who walks up the bleacher steps. “do you want anything?”
you turn to look, which proves to be a mistake as you make direct eye contact with none other than jake sim, who’s staring right at you amongst the crowd (and he looks a little ticked).
you snap your head back straight, letting out a yelped ‘no’. chae luckily doesn’t really pick up on your change of tone with how loud the crowd is, and replies with an ‘okay’ before jogging after the descending vendor.
she comes back a few moments later with her drink and a bag of chips.
“i don’t know how you eat during the games, aren’t you afraid you’ll get sick during a routine?”
“you’re on tiktok too much.” chae replies as she pops open the bag. “stop watching those horrible clips. it’s not very likely to happen at all. and i’m not a flyer like you. even if i puked, it wouldn’t get on anyone.”
“okaay! sorry i brought it up, getting grossed oout!”
chaeryeong laughs, bumping her shoulders with yours.
“hey, tell me about how it went with jake?”
you sigh with a roll of your eyes. “he only taught me for like, an hour.”
“oh!” chae squeals amidst chewing. “perhaps that was because you were too busy falling in love?!”
“oh my god, shut up, chae!”
the girl takes a quick swig of her drink before doing the exact opposite of what you asked. “do you know how many couples start off hating each other? you know, that burning anger you have for him could make for some hot se—“
“chaeryeong!” you gasp and chae laughs at how you sound like a scandalized victorian woman who just saw someone’s ankles. “stop it! that’s never happening.”
“i bet you’d have really good bed chem.” she states like it’s a fact.
“whatever.” you say just as the stadium erupts.
your home team doesn’t win, but your cheer squad goes out on the field to do your last routine anyways. you all go to the locker room to change after, most of your team moving quick to go to some party.
“you not coming, y/n?” your friend asks, chaeryeong also looking at you for your answer.
“i don’t think so, guys. maybe next time.”
eventually everyone walks out, leaving you alone as you set your pom-poms down.
amidst taking off your top, your hair falls into your face, leading you to shake your head as you blindly place your shirt inside your locker. when you open your eyes, you spot jake in your peripheral, staring at you wide eyed like an idiot while holding open the door.
“jake!” you screech, moving to cover your chest with your arms. “what the fuck!”
“i’m- i-i’m sorry, i was just trying to find you-“
“i don’t care, pervert! don’t come in the locker room!”
even with the distance, you can see how jake’s ears turn red. his face morphs from embarrassed panic to mad (and still embarrassed), the boy stomping closer until he’s right in front of you.
“i’m not a pervert, you kept ignoring my texts! we had a deal, you know!”
“well, you pissed me off!”
“me! how did i piss you off?”
“you- you’re…so fucking annoying!” you let out, not even knowing where you’re going with this as you get up in jake’s face.
“you ruined my chances with heeseung and act like an ass all the time!”
“ruined your chances! how did i ruin your chances with hee?” jake asks, and you back down a bit, not wanting to tell jake that you heard what he said that night.
at your silence, jake takes the opportunity to continue. “i mean, yeah. i don’t want you to be with heeseung, but that doesn’t mean i’d meddle—“
“and why don’t you want me to be with heeseung,” you interject, getting closer inch by inch to jake’s face as he stands his ground, giving you the same piercing eyes you challenge him with. “is it because…you think i’ll break his heart?”
you try to ask the question with just as much bite as your previous, hoping your insecurities don’t show through.
jake blanches, slightly taken aback by the directness of your question before he doubles down ten fold, pressing closer to you until your noses almost touch.
“yeah. maybe i do.” he grumbles to admit, breath puffing into your face.
you inhale to scoff, but then your chest brushes up against his, and suddenly you both remember that you’re only in a bra and cheer skirt.
jake glances down, eyes flitting over how your boobs press together when you have your arms angrily crossed, before meeting your gaze again.
the next thing you know, your lips are on his.
you don’t know who leaned in first, all you know is that he tastes like lemonade, tart but sweet enough to leave you wanting more.
his hands immediately go to your breasts, pushing you up against the lockers in his haste as the metal clangs and echos around the room, covering up your soft moan of shock.
your hands naturally move to rest at his stomach, where your surprised to feel the firm divots and raises of abs.
“do you-…do you workout?” you pant after parting from jake’s lips to take a breath. the boy doesn’t bother stopping, trailing his mouth from the corner of yours to down your neck, kissing and mouthing along your bra strap.
“can i take this off?” he asks, ignoring your question. you nod with a quiet little ‘yes’, jake reaching behind you to snap open your bra with one hand.
you try not to be too impressed (and fail), noting to yourself that the rumors must be true and this nerd does indeed fuck.
jake hastily guides your bra down your arms and tosses it to the side, latching his plush lips to your bud as his veiny hands continue to kneed at your breasts.
“oh my god,” you whisper under your breath, fingers moving to run through his hair as you let your head lean back against the locker. jake lets out a breathy groan at the feeling of you on his tongue and how you’re unconsciously giving small tugs to the tufts of his hair.
you whimper and flinch at the ghost of jake’s teeth on your nipple, quite literally feeling the curve of his smile on your skin as he glances up at you, not bothering to detach from your tits as his eyes sparkle with mischief. you let out a sigh as you smirk down at him, giving a now conscious, firm pull to his hair and watching how jake’s eyes shut in the stinging pleasure, a throaty moan escaping him.
“you’re a jerk.”
jake kisses from the swell of your breast and down your stomach in response, as though apologizing. now on his knees, he pauses at the waistband of your skirt. your hands move to take it off before jake stops you, sliding his palms over the material and to your thighs, squeezing at the plushness of them as he moves his head downward.
butterfly kisses are now being pressed up your legs until jake’s face is fully under your skirt. you put a hand over your mouth as you feel jake slowly sliding your panties down, trying to contain a needy moan at his teasing.
“damn, you’re wet.” jake whispers, the breath of his voice tickling your skin and causing your legs to tremble.
“please?” you whine, but only barely, still trying to hold on to some of your dignity.
“please what, pom-poms?” jake asks, and you can hear the smugness in his tone even while his face is hidden.
your eyes roll.
“oh my god, jake. please just shut the fuck up and eat me out!”
“can do.”
that’s all the warning jake gives before burying his face in your pussy, going at it like he’s starved.
you bite down on your lip to keep from crying out, not wanting jake to know just how good his mouth feels. (god knows his ego doesn’t need the boost.) you think you’re doing pretty good at keeping quiet, even when jake flicks your clit with his tongue, you only flinch slightly.
but jake takes notice of your silence, and it’s pissing him off.
so he runs a digit through the wetness of your pussy before pressing the entirety of it into your hole roughly, feeling how tightly your walls clench around him.
“f- fuck!” you startle.
it’s only one finger, but the length of it and the stretch his knuckles provide as he pumps them in and out of you mercilessly is making you come undone quicker than you would have thought.
jake’s making lots of slurping noises as his tongue licks at your leaking hole, nose nuzzling over your pulsing clit.
fuck, this man knows how to eat pussy. and when he presses a second finger inside of you, you know you’ve lost the quiet game. a whine comes from your throat as you squeeze your eyes shut, hips moving in small motions to meet the thrust of jake’s fingers.
he’s growling against you, eyes shut as he seems lost in the taste of you.
it isn’t until your head rolls to the side in pleasure that you notice he’s tugged his pants down just enough for his (to your shock, very big) cock to spring out, jerking himself off furiously as pre cum dribbles from the head.
“are you- fucking serious?” you laugh breathlessly, jake not stoping but opening his eyes to give you a confused glare.
“you’re getting off just from eating my pussy? how many of your hookups know you’re a munch?”
jake’s suddenly pulling his mouth off and fingers out of you with a cold look, but the hand on his cock never slows. if anything, it gets faster.
“if you’re gonna be a brat then i’m not making you cum.”
you’re thrown off, not expecting him to react this way, or how strangely embarrassed yet turned on it makes you feel. something about how angrily jake glares at you while he fists his big cock, even while he’s the one kneeling at your feet, it makes you feel oddly small.
and as much as it pains you to admit, desperate.
“i’m- i’m…sorry?”
jake lets out a humored scoff, shaking his head.
“you’re gonna have to do better than that. beg.”
you grit your teeth as you let out a frustrated sigh, unable to make eye contact as you force yourself to speak.
“please…make me cum.”
jake gives you an utterly unimpressed expression. “or i can just leave-“
“no! please, i- i’m sorry. i’ll be good, i wont be a brat anymore. just please make me cum?”
jake’s lips slowly stretch into a smirk that makes chills run down your spine, watching as his hand returns to his dick to rub over the leaking tip.
you unconsciously lick your lips and swallow.
“you’re gonna be a good girl for me?” he asks darkly.
“y- yes. i’ll be a good girl.”
jake’s diving back in with double the passion, his fingers slipping right back in as he curls them just right inside of you, hurling you towards climax.
“ah, j-jake, please! need- can i?” you pant, hardly able to get a word out as he’s sucking at your clit, giving it special attention.
he hums and you take it as a yes, thighs trembling as you cum all over jake’s chin.
“my turn.” jake growls, standing up and pushing you down to kneel in front of him, barely giving you any time to catch your breath before he’s shoving his dick in your mouth. still, you moan out happily, admittedly dying to have him in your mouth the moment you saw his pretty, pink tip and how big he is.
“that’s it, suck my cock like a good little slut.” jake orders, admiring how hot you look sitting on the floor in your short little cheer skirt. he grabs your hair in two fists, chuckling at how it looks like makeshift pigtails as he pulls on your hair to guide you further down his cock.
you sputter, struggling to take his bulbous tip down your throat but loving it and the stretch your jaw has to make to accommodate him.
he’s literally fucking your face, letting out little groans as he harshly snaps his hips against you.
once he looks down and sees your pretty eyes already looking up at him, it’s over.
jake deeply growls when he presses your face flat against his pelvis, cock shoved deeply down your throat as he pumps out his hot load, forcing you to swallow it all. (not that you wouldn’t have anyway.)
jake pulls you off of him with a wet pop, trying to it to ogle at how you lick his cum off your lips.
tucking himself back inside his pants, you look for your own clothes as jake finds a towel to wipe his hands and face off with, before tossing it in a nearby hamper.
“um,” jake starts, biting his lip as an awkward air takes over between you. “i am actually sorry, about…whatever i did that’s made you feel like i ruined it with heeseung for you.”
“it’s…it’s whatever. i’m sorry too, i kinda lost it.”
jake laughs softly, the sound breaking a little of the tension as he looks up to make direct eye contact. “i think we both did, but it’s okay. maybe we should just call it even?”
“sure,” you smile, combing your hair out of your face, trying to make it look like you didn’t just get eaten out and throat fucked in the locker room. (though you doubt anyone is around at this point, or at least you hope.)
“i’ll come around sometime to walk layla, just shoot me a text…and i really will answer this time.” you joke, jake taking the initiative to grab your cheer bag for you.
“sooo…do you still want me to be your tutor?”
“yeah! i do.” you answer simply, an annoying little voice in the back of your head saying that maybe chaeryeong was right, and you really did just need to fuck the frustration out of each other. even though there wasn’t actually any fucking…
“i still have something i’m wondering though,” you say as the two of you walk out of the locker room, jake letting you lead the way out of the stadium.
“what were you doing at basketball practice? on monday.”
“oh, well, normally heeseung comes with jay to our place and we game or something, after their practice. but i got off early and just decided to drop in.”
“where do you work?” you ask, looking over to jake and watching how he slightly swings your bag side to side as he walks.
“part time at the cafe, in the cafeteria…you haven’t seen me?” he asks jokingly, a faux pout on his lips.
“no.” you play along, answering ‘smugly’ as you lift your chin up, before giggling. “no, i usually have my lunch in the library.”
“oh, toooo…study?”
“i wish. if i spent that time studying i probably wouldn’t need a tutor,“ you admit with a bashful smile. “but usually i’m reading something.”
“oh! what do you like to read?”
“ah,” you whine, covering your face as you let out an embarrassed laugh. usually you’re undisturbed in the library, everyone else is typically there to study, have some alone time, or eat their lunch in a place that’s quiet. you’ve never had anyone ask you what you’re reading.
“it’s…embarrassing. i’m gonna sound boring.”
“what?” jake laughs, turning in front of you and walking backwards so he can fully look at you. “tell me, i’m dying to know now.”
“i mean, usually it’s about animal history-“
“right! biology major.” jake remembers.
“yup.” you nod. “buuut, sometimes i read biographies or like, theories.”
jake’s ears practically perk, but you don’t notice, pushing open a door before jake’s back can run into it.
“oh, thanks.” he says before returning to your side after the close call, deciding he’d rather not possibly fall right in front of you with your heavy cheer bag to land on top of him. “theories? what- what kind of theories?”
“right now i’m reading einstein’s.”
jake looks over to you with widened eyes, surprised because he’s never met anyone else that actually has an interest in stuff like that. he’s tried to rant to jay or heeseung about that kind of stuff, be he can tell they’re just replying on auto pilot, not really listening.
jake wonders how far you’ve read, what all you know. he’s practically tingling with excitement, about to ask you if you know about the team of scientists that disproved one of einstein’s theories when-
“well, i’m gonna get back to my dorm now,”you say just as you reach the campus sidewalk, street lamps lighting the path as dusk turns to darkness.
“i can walk you? it’s pretty late.” jake offers, already moving as though to go with you.
you feel your heart stop, a feeling you can only describe as ‘oh no’ burning a hole into the pit of your stomach.
“jake…earlier…it was just casual, yknow…”
jake stares at you, eyes round and capturing the lights in his dark pupils like stars in the sky. he stills, free hand going inside his pocket while the other still holds your bag.
“not that i’m assuming anything!” you hurry to add. “just thought i’d…clarify.”
“yeah…yeah, i know. i just- i just didn’t think it’d be a big deal to walk you home.”
“it’s not a big deal. that’s why i can do it myself.” you explain as nonchalantly as you can, but on the inside you feel like there’s needles pricking your skin, hairs all standing on end. you’re dying to be out of this situation, anxiety making you feel like prey, wanting to run, run, run.
“right! yeah, of course!”
you smile smoothly, leaning in to take your bag from his hand.
“i’ll see you at our next session, okay?”
“okay.” jake smiles softly, but you don’t look for too long, turning your back too soon, listening to the voice yelling in your head to leave.
you hear jake’s voice behind you as you walk down the paved path, his voice slightly carrying into the night.
“stay safe, pom-poms!”
you laugh, little and quiet to yourself as you whisper.
“jerk.”
(❤︎)
for the next week you’re busier than ever: tutor sessions, cheer practice, competition days, your usual studies and classes, taking layla on walks every now and then when jake is at work.
and yet, you’re thriving.
jake’s ‘hard work on you’— as he put it, is paying off.
you’re at your usual spot that you and jake have your sessions, his house.
the clock strikes 10 pm when you finally call it quits. layla (who’s been switching between sitting on your and jake’s feet from underneath the table) jumps up the second she hears the slam of your notebook and jake getting up to put away his study material.
“what is it, girl?” you laugh, watching the golden furred dog do an excited little wiggle dance in front of you.
she looks from you, to the front door, and back at you again.
“jake, i think she wants to go outside.”
uh-oh. you said her buzzword.
at the mention of ‘outside’, layla becomes twice as restless, whining and pawing at the front door with her claws.
“layla, no,” jake stops her, pulling her away from the door before she can scratch the wood.
“are you gonna take her?” you ask, jake turning his head to you as he continues to pat and scratch layla’s back, trying to sedate her.
“maybe just for a little bit, once you go home.”
“…i’ll go with you.” you offer, jake’s brows raising slightly in surprise.
“you don’t have to, y/n. i know we have a ‘deal’ but i don’t actually care if you-“
“i want to.” you shrug.
“you do?”
“yeah?”
“aren’t you tired?” jake asks, standing up and tilting his head at you.
you tilt yours back at him, a teasing smirk on your face. “i’m not. are you?”
jake takes one look at your smirk and falls into your trap, so easily persuaded by even the notion of a challenge. grabbing layla’s leash out of a nearby drawer in the kitchen, he hooks it onto layla’s collar and puts on his slides.
“lets go.” he smiles, you laughing at how his accent really pops out when he says the word ‘go’.
“what’s so funny?” he giggles with you despite not knowing why, watching as you hurriedly slip the shoes closest to you— which happen to be jake’s crocs that he never wears. they’re way too big, you putting them in ‘sport mode’ to try and combat the obvious size issue.
it doesn’t work. but despite that, they stay on.
“you look like a garden gnome,” jake laughs, letting you playfully slap him on the shoulder and watching how you bolt out the door a second later with a screech, like a kid playing tag.
“don’t run in them!! poms, you’re going to fall!” he yells, quickly grabbing a coat off the hook for you in case you get cold before he and layla hurry out the door and after you.
you walk around for about 15 minutes, eventually coming upon a gas station.
“…you hungry?”
you end up being the one to go inside the gas station while jake stays outside with layla, since dogs aren’t allowed in. he watches you closely the entire time though, staring at you while he stands right at the glass door entrance.
“i’m a big girl, you know.” you laugh once you walk back out, jake holding the door open for you. “im not gonna die if you’re not there to watch me.”
“i know, but gas stations at night just kinda freak me out.” jake whines, taking the plastic bag from your hands while you hold the two cups of hot ramen. you go and sit at a nearby bench that’s right beneath a window, the glow of the gas station’s light’s shining a light on the area around you.
“did you make it how i told you?” jake sing-songs as he ties layla’s leash to the bench’s leg, the dog taking the time to enjoy the break as she lays by his feet obediently.
“yes, i followed your obscenely specific instructions down to the very detail to make you the perfect ramen, jake.” you roll your eyes in faux annoyance, handing the cup of ramen to him, as well as a plastic fork.
“thank you.” he smiles coyly, taking the container from you.
“you’re welcome, princess.” you sigh jokingly.
you take a few bites of your ramen before speaking up again, as jake seems completely content to wordlessly munch on his food.
“so what are you and the boy’s gonna do this weekend?”
“mmm,” jake hums, swallowing before continuing. “i think we’re going over to felix’s.”
“oh.” you reply, picking up your drink to take a sip a second later.
even though it was chill when you last saw felix, you still feel a little awkward when his name comes up…or maybe it’s guilt you’re feeling.
“what’s up with that?” jake asks, looking at how your body language has changed to uncomfortable.
“what’s up with what?”
“…all of it, i guess.” jake specifies, and he sounds serious. like he really wants to know your history with felix.
you exhale and hope it doesn’t sound shaky, giving yourself a moment to take another bite of your food as you gather your thoughts. usually you might say ‘i don’t want to talk about it’ or ‘i don’t know’, but after hearing what jake said that first time you were over at your house…you want him to hear your side. even though your side doesn’t really excuse what you did.
“we…i liked him, freshman year. and he didn’t at first, but then he came around and eventually asked me out. and…he was honestly really great, he was a wonderful partner and i…really, really liked him.”
“so then…why? why’d you…”
“drop him?” you finish jake’s trailed of sentence for him.
he nods.
“i just…” you pause, looking down at your shoes and twisting the soles of them into the concrete. your heart wanes in realization that you’re about to talk about it. “sometimes i get really scared when- someone…cares about me? i don’t know. i don’t know how to describe it.”
“why does someone caring for you scare you?”
“i’m not sure. feeling…pressure? to be perfect, to keep them from leaving? or…scared of having someone that i care for so much, because…that means they could really hurt me.”
“when did that start?” jake asks softly, voice free of judgement, even pity— you think. just a gentle desire to understand.
“oh, i don’t know.” you laugh, though there’s no real humor behind it. you look down at layla and the way the light hits her fur, turning the tips a flaming gold. “parent stuff, friend stuff…i had a really shitty ex in high school.”
jake barks out a short laugh. “same, i think it’s a part of the teenage experience.”
“trauma builds character.” you say matter-of-factly, jake giggling as you can’t help but join him.
“i am sorry though, about what happened to you and that it’s made you feel this way. you didn’t deserve that.”
you bite your lip, staring at each other as your stomach twists from the soft timber of his voice and the gentleness of his words.
you look away.
“i know what i did to him was wrong. it doesn’t excuse it….”
“…no.” jake confirms. “but it does make sense. and it’s good that you know what the problem is now.”
“yeah,” you agree with a small smile, heart still heavy, but at the same time you do feel a bit better after talking about it.
“and i have gotten better. i still get scared, and sometimes i have unconscious bad habits, but i’ve gotten better at…telling my brain to shut up, when i realize.” you struggle to explain, but jake nods his head like he gets it.
your arms shiver slightly, from the cool night air or the adrenaline rush after voicing your feelings— you’re not sure.
jake unties the jacket from around his waist and lays it over your shoulders, but your goosebumps remain.
(❤︎)
as you walk into physics class you take a small glance at jake, offering a quick smile as you pass by him at his usual spot in front row before you go and sit down towards the middle.
there’s already someone sitting to your right, so you’re about to sit your bag on the left seat for chae (who’s apparently running late) when jake abruptly appears and takes the spot.
you’re staring at him with a confused ‘what the fuck’ face as he finishes opening his backpack and placing his things down, putting on his glasses so he can see the professor and their material from far away before turning to smile at you.
“hi,” he whispers.
you try to change your expression to a more casual one, seeing that he for some reason decided to change his usual seating arrangements to sit next to you, and that seems to be his only prerogative.
“hey…” you whisper back, turning to face the front after.
the professor begins the class, but you can’t focus. jake keeps trying to help you, leaning close to add on to what the professor is saying, then he notices the eraser on your pencil is almost gone and gives you a new one. but worst of all, when you tilt your head to write something down, hair cascading like a curtain over your face, jake gently moves to tuck your hair behind your ear, smiling sweetly at you when you glance at him.
you’re not confused anymore. you think you know exactly what’s going on and you’re…you don’t know what to do. everything suddenly feels like it’s spiraling into a mess and you desperately want to feel like you’re in control of it again.
so you cross your legs and lean in jake’s direction, taking it slow and simply brushing up against his pant leg.
jake’s eyes look down but quickly move back up to the front of the class, maybe assuming it’s on accident, though his expression does look slightly frazzled.
you want to mess him up more.
thankful for the table that’s about to cover your sins, you place your hand right above jake’s knee.
he fully acknowledges you now, snapping his head to give you a confused look, trying and failing to hide how flustered he is thanks to his blushing ears.
you tilt your head to indicate confusion, your ‘innocent’ act not fooling him at all as you creep your hand farther up his leg, to the meatier part of his thigh. the higher you go, the pinker his cheeks grow, looking more and more adorable.
you feel like a predator that’s caught her prey when you squeeze and his body jerks, hair falling into his eyes before he shakes it away and adjusts his glasses.
you feel like your pupils dilate at the action, watching jake sitting there and not even telling you to stop, letting you touch him in class where anyone could catch you. he’s dressed like the smart boy he is today, his polo shirt and kaki pants paired with oval framed glasses almost giving a nerdy virgin vibe. it makes you really wet, especially since you’re so close to his cock, which you never got to touch with your hands.
a bulge is starting to grow in his pants and you let your fingers barely graze over it as you start massaging his thigh.
“y-y/n?” he speaks so softly you would miss it if it weren’t for how close you sit together.
“hm?”
you glance up at him casually, like you’re fingers aren’t narrowly avoiding his cock right now, and it’s driving him crazy.
it’s making him desperate.
you’re in the middle of class and yet he’s dying for you to just touch his dick already.
he’s debating between if he should ask or not when you finally put your whole hand over his bulge. he stops a whine from bubbling up his throat as your touch is still feather light, not even giving him the grace of more pressure. pushing his hips up into your palm, you pull away, bringing your hands back into your lap and attention back on the professor.
“what? b- baby-“
“what, nerd?” you say with a little bite, and the name has jake twitching in his pants.
“pl- please? can you keep…touching me?”
“we’re in class, jake.” you say, pretending to be mildly annoyed, as if you weren’t the one who started all this.
a tiny noise escapes from jake’s throat, squeezing his eyes shut as he clenches his thighs, trying to relieve the pulsing of his own dick as blood rushes down south.
“jake!” you scold with a harsh whisper, genuinely surprised by how shameless he’s getting.
“please, y/n.” he struggles out, voice whiney. “i need you.”
your breath turns shakey, the facade of being unaffected crumbling as you feel yourself getting more and more turned on. granting him mercy, you bring your hand back down to fully grope his bulge, eyes growing wide as you’re reminded of how big he is.
“fuck.” you sigh, jake giving a twitchy thrust at your voice.
“dirty boy.” is all you say before facing the class again, really trying not to get caught now as your touches turn into you basically jacking him off over his pants.
jake humps into your hand as subtly as he can, almost missing how the professor’s asking him a question if it weren’t for how you pinch his thigh to break him out of it.
“w-what?” jake asks, sounding far from intelligent.
“i said, what is the speed of darkness, mr. sim.”
“oh- um,”
your hand goes right back to jacking him off, stopping at the tip of his dick to massage over it. jake swallows down a cry.
“i expected this to be easy, especially for you, mr. sim.”
“it- it has none.” he croaks out, voice almost raising in his efforts to avoid his building orgasm, the panic almost making him reach that point faster. “darkness is the absence of light, so it doesn’t h- have any speed.”
“correct! dark is simply the absence of photons which means-“
“i’m gonna cum.” jake says as quietly as possible, leaning back in his chair and pushing his face into the side of your arm, hiding his face. “y/n, m’gonna!”
you stop your hand and push him off of you, sitting up straighter as you whisper “after class”, leaving jake trembling in his chair, panting under his breath and too desperate to argue.
it feels like an eternity has passed when class ends, you getting up immediately and jake rushing to follow you. you lead him out into the hallway, hurrying up and opening a closet door before the crowds of other students fill the halls. jake practically moans when you grab him by the shirt and shove him inside, shutting the door behind you. it’s dark as you feel for the light switch, unable to find it.
“fuck, where’s the lights?”
you hear a click and the small closet is dimly illuminated, jake standing right in front of you with wide, shiny eyes, holding a string that’s connected to the one lightbulb that lights the space, which you now can see is a janitor’s closet.
“oh, thank you.” you say normally, like your panties aren’t soaking wet, before pushing him against the wall, almost knocking over a mop bucket as you intensely make out with jake.
the boy lets you swallow down his long moan of relief, needy hands grasping at your hips and already trying to rut against your leg.
“you really that desperate? can’t help but hump your big cock against me?”
jake whimpers, looking at you with big, pretty brown eyes as he wordlessly begs you.
“maybe you aren’t that smart of a nerd. can’t even talk? does your dick getting some attention make you that dumb?”
“yes! yes, yes, m’ so dumb. so stupid for you. please make me cum? it hurts, baby, please?”
“fuck me.” you order. “then you can cum.”
jake takes a second to process your words before he’s stripping himself bare.
“can- can you take off everything, please? wanna feel all of you.” he asks adorably, and you grant him his wish, albeit— you have to tease him. you peel off your clothes so slowly, jake watching every inch of your skin being revealed like he’s never seen a woman’s body before, hands clenching at his sides with the need to touch you.
“please, please, please.” he chants under his breath, almost to himself unconsciously.
“c’mere, jakey.” you coo, him hugging himself up to you a millisecond later.
he’s whimpering and slobbering into your neck as he attempts to give you kisses in his messy state of mind. you start to giggle until his cock catches at the entrance of your pussy and causes you to let out a whine, jake getting more excited (if it’s possible) after feeling how wet you are for him.
“y/n, please.” he blubbers, resting his forehead against yours.
“you can go inside, baby. fuck me, touch me. i don’t care anymore, just give me your cock.”
jake slowly pushes himself inside, the both of you moaning in relief before jake starts fucking into you slowly.
his face is sweating, glasses sliding down his nose bridge as he tries to give you time to adjust fully to his length. you’re so tight, looking so pretty while your eyes are squeezed shut, head leaning back against the wall as you’re stretched out around his dick. jake peppers little kisses all over the exposed expanse of your neck, you letting out happy little noises at his careful care and the feeling of him inside you.
“you okay, babygirl?”
“yeah, jakey. you can go deeper.”
slowly, jake pushes in as far as he can go, hips flush against yours. his cock is long, reaching places that haven’t been reached in a long time, but still…
“no,” you tremble, knowing it can be even better. “hold on.”
pushing his chest off of you a little to give more space, you lift your right leg and hook it around his shoulder, your other still firmly on the ground.
“okay, keep going.” you almost beg, desperate to be fucked into the wall.
“holy shit…” jake marvels, thrusting as deeply into you as he possibly can go, the new angle making his tip press into your cervix.
“oh my god!” he almost growls as his control slips from his grasp, hips gaining speed as he starts to pound into you. the rough quality of his previously sweet tone has you clenching, making him lose it even more. “you’re so fucking flexible.”
“m- m’a cheerleader.” is all you can manage to get out and explain when jake is fucking you so hard, making you feel so good. the slapping noises of jake’s thrusts and your wet pussy isn’t quiet, but you’re too cock drunk to worry about it, and jake is too lost in the way your needy cunt takes him so well.
“damn right, you are, baby.”
forcing your eyes to focus an jake’s intense gaze as he watches every one of your minute expressions, you see how his glasses rest lop sided on his face, releasing the grip you have on jake’s strong shoulders to fix them.
there’s a shift in jake’s eyes after you do this, and you’re beginning to feel as though he’s looking right through your skin and into your soul. then jake’s big hands wrap tightly around your back, stretching your leg further as you’re pressed flush against him and the wall. his rhythm turns erratic as your moans get louder, the hot air in the small space too thick for you to catch your breath.
“sweet girl, with an even sweeter little cunt, yeah?” he drawls, accent turning thicker as he licks into your mouth and presses sloppy kisses onto your lips in between words. “taking my cock like a champ, baby. taking me like a good girl.”
“please, jake. need to cum.” you cry weakly, looking up at him with glassy eyes.
“cum for me, sweetheart. make me all messy.”
you obey his words with a muffled cry as he cradles your head into his neck, trying to make sure no one hears your sounds of pleasure.
he tries his best to hold on long enough to fuck you through your high before he pulls out, fisting his own cock.
you don’t want to miss it, falling on your weak knees and opening your mouth to stick out your tongue, looking up at him and begging with your eyes for him to give it to you.
jake can’t even speak as his hands moves in a blur, the only cognitive thought in his mind how pretty you look kneeling for him, begging for his cum, before he’s unloading into your mouth.
you take it all, swallowing and leaning forward to suck on his tip like a lollipop after, licking him clean.
once jake is able to get himself together and your legs feel a little less like jello, who helps you stand and get dressed.
you laugh once you’re both fully clothed, watching jake clean his glasses lens with his shirt.
“what?” jake smiles tiredly, straightening his polo. “do i look normal?” and like we didn’t just fuck in the janitor’s closet?
“no,” you giggle, shaking your head as you reach up to comb through his very tousled hair. “okay, that’s better.”
“thank you.” jake smiles tenderly, making that funny feeling in your stomach present again before he presses a quick kiss to your lips. “i’ll text you, baby.”
“o-….okay…” you mumble, jake giggling as he thinks your dazed look is just because you’re still a little fucked dumb.
“you want me to slip out first?”
“um, yeah.” you answer, watching jake peek out the door before flashing you one more sweet smile before he’s out, shutting the door behind him.
you don’t know what you’re going to do.
(❤︎)
“dude, just ask her out already.” jay says as he lays down to spread out on jake’s bed like a star fish.
“i am!” jake insists, accepting that he’s probably not going to get anymore studying done when jay’s in his bedroom yapping away. shutting his laptop, jake swivels his desk chair around and quirks a brow at how jay lays on his bed like he owns it.
“then do it! what are you waiting for?”
“i just don’t want to overwhelm her, i think if i move too fast it’ll scare her. but…i think I’m gonna ask her tonight.”
jay sits up on his elbows. “you’re inviting her?” he asks, referring to the game night the boys were planning to have with heeseung at their place.
“yeah. i’ve already asked her, she says she can come after some cheer event she’s doing today.”
“wow…” jay sighs, now looking a little surprised as he processes.
“what?”
“i can’t believe you got a cheerleader girlfriend before me or heeseung.”
jake starts to be offended before he smirks, standing up from his chair and combing his hair out of his face.
“that’s because i’m sexy and smart. now take the L and help me clean up before she gets here.”
(❤︎)
it’s 8:00 pm when you finally get to jake and jay’s house, jake waiting for you by the door.
“hi, how was the event?”
“it was good. they had us outside all day but the weather wasn’t too warm.”
“good!” jake smiles as he opens the door for you and leads you to the living room. “ready to beat these guys in a game with me?”
“i really suck at video games, jake.” you laugh just as you walk into the room, seeing jay and heeseung sitting at the sofa.
jake sees heeseung’s eyes light up when he sees you, and jake feels a bit annoyed— then guilty. heeseung doesn’t know about you and jake, the australian not having time to tell him about your ‘thing’ before you showed up.
“hey, y/n! come sit.” jay invites.
you move to sit down on the couch, the only space available being next to heeseung. jake sits against your legs, his cuddly nature making you blush and feel a little self conscious while in front of everyone else, moving your legs to criss-cross them on the cushion instead.
something about being at their house with heeseung over again, in this room, makes you think about what you’ve been trying not to this entire time: what jake said.
do they all think you’re a player?
do they know about you and jake’s hookups?
if the answer is yes, then they probably also think you’re just with jake to get in his pants, to chew him up and spit him out.
but what do you really want?…and what…what does jake want?
you’ve felt off since the classroom incident, and you thought maybe hanging out casually would make you feel better, but it seems to only be making it worse.
“y/n?”
heeseung concerned voice snaps you out of your head and you look at him. he’s holding out a gaming controller for you, and you take it, the object feeling a bit big in your hands.
“here,” jake offers gently, turning around from his place on the floor as he positions your hands over the controller. “it’ll probably be easier for you to hold it like this.”
“thanks.” you say unconsciously soft, probably because of the proximity between you and jake’s faces.
he smiles that cute smile at you again, the one that makes his eyes sparkle, and you feel legitimately sick.
“do you want me to explain the game to you?” heeseung offers.
“i can,” jake starts to interrupt, but you stop him as you gesture for him to sit back down.
“it’s fine, jake. hee’s right here.”
you hope the excuse of heeseung sitting right next to you is a good enough excuse for why you don’t want jake coddling over you. you just…you can’t think clearly with him near right now.
once you start the multi player game and you go for a few rounds, heeseung starts getting kinda touchy with you. first letting his thighs touch yours, which is probably unconscious. the sofa is rather squishy and deep, it’s easy to sink into it— and thus, you. but then he starts smiling at you a lot and praising you whenever you do something right. you try not to encourage heeseung’s treatment while also ignoring how jake keeps turning to take peeks at you together.
very unexpectedly, you find a few advantage items and end up winning a round, heeseung throwing up his arms in excitement while jay loudly cheers.
“that was awesome, y/n!” heeseung says before wrapping you in an unexpected hug. you smile proudly at yourself, returning his quick hug.
“y/n and i will go get some drinks.” jake abruptly announces in a low tone before grabbing your arm and pulling you away from heeseung.
“jake. jake! why are you pulling me?” you say as he continues down the hall, not looking or speaking to you until you get to the kitchen.
“what was that?” he asks demandingly after spinning around to face you, eyes hard and looking at you angrily.
“what was what?”
“you and heeseung!”
“there is no me and heeseung, jake.” you sigh, rubbing your temples as you feel a headache coming on. this whole evening has honestly been nothing but stressful, and you’re starting to regret coming.
“well it sure looked like you were a thing…i thought we…”
he trails off and your heart full on stops, eyes wide as you stare at jake.
“you thought…what?” you ask, scared out of your mind.
“i like you.” jake says softly, looking up from the floor to gaze at you with hopeful eyes. “and i think…i think you like me too, right?”
you take a few deep breaths, brows furrowing as panic and fear take over the rational part of your brain.
“you sure you want to like the ‘typical dumb cheerleader’?” you air quote, jake’s face falling as your eyes already start to sting.
“oh my god, you heard that? baby, i’m so, so sorry. i-…i don’t think that now, i was being an asshole.”
despite how hard you try to keep them at bay, to blink them back, to keep the angry facade up— you can’t. your walls finally crumble down as you cry into your hands, letting the ache that’s been slowly growing in your heart over these past few weeks take over your whole chest.
“you- you don’t still think i’m a h- heartbr- break-“
you can’t even get a full sentence out between your crying and gasps of air, jake coming closer with open arms to wrap you in a hug, to squeeze you against his warm chest.
“no, no, no. sweet girl, oh my god.” he says almost like it’s to himself, before he’s culling your damp cheeks.
“c’mon, baby. look at me?” he coos sadly, and you do, putting aside your shame and lifting your face, watching his regretful eyes flit over your teary orbs and broken expression.
“i am so sorry that the harsh, untruthful words i said hurt you so badly, and i’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to apologize. i was legitimately an asshole to you and you didn’t deserve it. i had you pinned down in my head of who i thought you were and i treated you differently because of it, when i didn’t even bother getting to know you. and i’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
jake tries to wipe away the tears that slip down your cheeks as you try to calm down, still hurt but feeling better after his words.
“you- you don’t think i’m a bad person? because- because i honestly wouldn’t blame you if you did.” you dare to ask.
“no!” jake states firmly. “no, baby. you’re not and i don’t think that. i think you’re kind and generous. hardworking and smart. beautiful and funny and so, so easy to fall for.”
“jake…” you whisper, cheeks burning as you attempt to hide you face in his chest. but jake doesn’t let you, cupping your jaw in his palms as he nuzzles his nose against yours.
“do you like me, poms?” he whispers nervously, breath fanning over your lips as you feel like you’re about to drown from the depth of emotions he manages to hold in his eyes.
“i…i do, jake. i really, really like you.”
jake smiles, teeth biting at his bottom lip to try and contain it.
“but,” you’re quick to say when jake starts to lean in, halting his actions. “i…i need time…to think. i…”
“it’s okay, y/n. you don’t have to explain it to me. i’ll wait for you.” jake whispers, staring forlornly at your lips, but not moving. “even if you tell me not to, i’d still wait for you.”
your heart skips a beat and you pull away, afraid you’ll lose your resolve and dive into his kiss if you don’t.
“okay. i’ll…i’ll see you, jake.”
“see you, y/n.” jake smiles, but despite trying his best, it doesn’t make it to his eyes. you walk out of the kitchen before fleeing from his house, speeding to your dorm and collapsing onto your bed and bursting into sobs.
(❤︎)
3 days.
3 days, going on four, since you’ve spoken to jake. you know he’s trying really hard not to overwhelm you, to resist coming over and talking to you, but you still catch staring at you in class when he thinks you don’t notice.
you do.
you notice him, always.
you want to go to him, you miss him so much. but it’s feels like there’s chains of fear wrapped around your heart, weighing you down and tugging you away from him.
you’re walking across campus in the afternoon to go back to your dorm, feeling like a zombie like you have been since you last spoke to jake.
you run into something with stops your lazy, slow steps, looking up to see felix staring wide at you.
“oh, y/n! hey!”
“h-hi! sorry, lix.” you apologize for running into him, trying to sound at least half as chipper as him.
“that’s alright. so, jay told me about you and jake,” he implores in a teasing way, nudging your arm with his elbow as he smiles. “how’s that going?”
it takes you a few seconds to feel the pain in your heart at simply hearing his name before you start crying, felix almost flinching back in surprise as you try to wipe your tears away as quickly as they come.
“i’m- i’m so sorry, felix. i’m a mess right now.”
“hey, hey, it’s okay, y/n. why don’t we sit down and you can tell me about it.”
felix wraps a comforting arm around your shoulder and leads you to sit down at a nearby bench. taking a gentle hold of your hand, he encourages you to tell him what happened.
and you do, you tell him everything. from the very beginning to the very end.
“i just- i don’t know what to do, felix. i like him so much it scares me. i’ve never let- let somebody get this close to me this fast before.” you sniffle. “and i just- i can’t stop thinking about how much it would hurt this time, because- because i think if i let myself be with him, i’ll never want to leave.”
“oh, y/n.” felix sighs, pulling you in for a hug. “don’t you see? jake is an amazing guy, and you like him. which isn’t a reason to leave, it’s a reason to stay, to keep going and not give up. don’t you get it?”
he asks, looking you in the eyes as you feel his words click something into place in your brain. it isn’t a reason to leave, it’s why you should stay.
“don’t give him up, y/n.” felix urges softly. your heart squeezes with undeniable fondness, reaching forward to wrap the boy in a tight hug of your own.
“you’re right. thank you, felix.”
“it’s okay, y/n. go get your man.” he smiles genuinely.
“and felix?” you begin as you pull away to look him in the eyes.
“yeah?”
“i’m sorry, lixie.” you apologize, and he knows what for.
“i know, y/n.” felix’s voice wavers at the unexpected sentiment, but his sunshine disposition still remains. “i’m happy now. we’re okay. all is forgiven.”
you know it’s not a good enough apology despite his words, but you’ll find another time to properly say sorry, to give him the apology he deserves. but for now, you give him one more tight squeeze before running off to find jake.
he’s not working at the cafe today, all his classes are usually over by now and there’s no basketball practice for him to tag along to, so the only other place you can think to go look is his house.
when you messily park in the driveway and knock at the door, it’s a bewildered jay that answers.
“oh, y/n! he’s- jake’s walking layla right now.”
“do you know which direction he went?”
jay points and you take off down his neighborhood sidewalk, jay watching you disappear around a corner with his jaw slightly open in confusion, finger still raised, before he shrugs his shoulders and goes back inside with a mumbled little ‘whatever’ to himself.
your running turned to jogging, and now you’re sluggishly walking, your exhaustion and the sight of the sun setting making you lose hope as you stare down at your own feet that lazily step on the pavement.
what if jake doesn’t even want you anymore? did you already mess it up?
an echoed voice carries down the street and you lift your head, the tone of it sounding familiar. turning the corner one more time, your heart feels like it’s been brought back to life when you see jake and layla in the distance.
jake crouches in front of layla, the dog looking bored and tiredly panting as he raises his hand to scratch behind her ears, giving her a sad little smile.
“sorry, girl…i know. i miss her too.”
something tugs you forward, those heavy chains that were previously around your heart broken and unable to hold you back anymore.
“jake!” you call, jake looking up to your approaching figure.
“y/n?”
your slow steps turn to running when jake opens his arms, practically catching you with how you leap into his embrace.
“y/n?” he repeats, looking deep into your eyes like he can’t believe he’s feeling your smaller body in his arms right now, seeing you so up close again.
you wrap your arms around his neck and crash your lips into his, jake immediately kissing you back with just as much fever. your tongues lick into each other’s mouth like you haven’t tasted the other in ages, jake raising a hand to cup your cheek and press you impossible closer.
“jake,” you gasp in air after fighting to part from jake’s eager lips.
“sweetheart.” jake practically coos, eyes half-lidded and sounding love drunk as he spares you only a moment before he’s kissing you again.
“jake!” you pull away again, your attempt to sound scolding failing due to your little giggles that give your true emotions away. but how can you not when jake’s ticklish butterfly kisses are being peppered across your neck.
“let me talk!”
“hurry.” jake whines, pressing to more pecks to your lips.
“i- i wanna stay! i want to be with you.”
“i wanna be with you too, babygirl.” jake whispers fondly, staring into your eyes and how they capture the sunset’s shining rays. it’s the prettiest sunset he’s ever seen, viewing it in this way. “does this mean you’ll be mine?”
“i think i’ve been yours for a while already, jakey.”
jake’s like a kid at a candy store with your lips right in front of him. you’re unable to enjoy his absolutely gorgeous smile from your words for more than a second before his lips are attached to yours again, capturing you in another passionate kiss.
you whine into it, pushing at his chest much to jake’s displeasure.
“but i’m probably still gonna get scared sometimes.”
“i know, baby.”
a kiss.
“and- and i’m good at communicating but-“
another.
“sometimes i need encouragement.”
“i can do that, sweetheart.” he promises with another deep kiss. you push him away again.
“but, jake?”
he smiles with a defeated groan, leaning his head onto your shoulder before he looks at you.
“yeah, sweetie?”
“what if i…did try? to run away again.” you ask, not because you think you will, but because you want to know his answer.
he answers easily, like it’s a no brainer for him.
“then i’d chase after you every time.”
“…promise?”
“i promise.”
(❤︎)
jake doesn’t even take layla’s leash off when you bust through the front door, barely taking the time to shut it behind him before he’s picking you up, giggling at your adorable squeal and how your legs wrap around his waist without thinking.
you don’t even stop kissing as he blindly carries and maneuvers you around the house, feeling for his bedroom door knob with his one hand and opening it successfully.
he walks forward until he feels the frame of his bed against his shins and sets you down gently, finally detaching from your lips to gaze at you and how gorgeous you look laying in his bed, staring up at him with so much cb affection in your eyes that it has his cock twitching.
“what?” you smile, feeling a little squirmy under his gaze, but you remain still.
“nothing…you’re just so beautiful.”
your cheeks burn, biting at your smile as you move to take off your clothes. jake rushes to do the same, though it takes him a little longer as he has to stop every few moments to watch you strip.
you rub your thighs together with a moan as you see jake’s throbbing length, it’s pretty pink tip shining with his excitement.
“oh my god, baby. i don’t wanna go a day without you ever again. seeing you, talking to you, kissing you, fucking you. shit, m’gonna make you take my cock every day from now on.”
“please, jake, just put it in.” you whine, spreading open your legs and causing jake’s eyes to almost pop out of his skull.
“damn, baby.” he marvels, kneeling up on the bed as he comes closer to you, caressing his hands up and down your thighs as he stares at your pussy.
“jaaake, fuck me!”
“be patient, babygirl.” he warns with a small yet stinging slap to your thigh. “i will. but i gotta taste you first.”
he makes a spot for himself between your legs, laying on his belly before spreading open your pussy with his two, long fingers. clear slick webs between, jake shuddering out a heated ‘fuck’ before going in to lick it up with his tongue.
“oh god,” you whimper, raising your hands to your face, embarrassed by how wet you already are and how jake’s slurping every bit of it into his mouth.
“mmm,” jake hums disapprovingly, departing from your pussy only for a moment. “dont don’t do that. wanna watch my baby’s face while i eat her out.”
then jake goes back down to slowly push his tongue inside your entrance, your thighs twitching with the unexpected intrusion.
“j-jake!” you cry as he falls into a rhythm, rubbing your sopping clit while he fucks you with his tongue, big brown eyes staring you down as you find yourself unable to look away.
“o- oh, ffuck!”
your hands grip up the sheets into a fist, toes curling as jake’s incessant licking into your cunt and the perfect little circles he rubs into your clit makes you come more and more undone.
jake groans in pleasure at your own, the sound sending vibrations straight to your core and causing your entire body to flinch as you cry out.
“i- i think m’gonna cum already if you don’t stop, jake.” you whine, voice high pitched and unlike yourself.
the boy doesn’t stop. in fact, he goes deeper, curling the tip of his tongue into the spongy part of you.
you cum with a cry, legs trembling and squeezing around jake’s head as he happily cleans you up with his mouth.
“mmm, such a messy cunt, baby. taste so good.” jake sighs as he repositions to hover over you body, one hand stroking over his dick as he spreads your left over juices from his fingers across it.
he reaches across to his night stand, you presume to get out a condom.
“don’t. want- want you to fuck me raw, please? m’on the pill.”
“…holy shit.” jake murmurs, wide eyed.
he leans on his elbows, dipping closer to your face as you watch how his eyes roam over your every feature, taking in your beauty in the same way as you’re taking in his right now.
“my pretty girl, my good girl...” he gives you that smile that used to make you sick, but now it has butterflies in your stomach and your pussy clenching.
“mine.” jake whispers proudly, rubbing his nose against yours as he pushes inside of you slowly.
“how-“ you struggle, interrupted by your and jake’s moans as his dick is sucked in by your greedy cunt. “how do you talk so sweet when- when you’re doing bad things?”
jake just responds with an out of breath chuckle, bracing himself with a hand to your hip, groping and squeezing at your soft flesh.
as he starts thrusting into you, deep and slow, you feel like all the air has been knocked out of you.
you don’t know why, maybe it’s the angle or how he’s looking at you, maybe it’s because you just came or the emotional high of being reunited. all you know is that it only takes a few minutes for you to be trembling and whimpering into jake’s sheets as he fucks you dumb.
jake’s latched onto your tits— of course, moaning and whining as he slobbers all over your chest like your nipples taste like candy. and they might as well be, because to jake they’re that good.
“mmm, jakey, please. please. m’so close.”
jake is no better off than you, sweat glistening on his skin and his hips start to erratically buck into yours, his pants and your whimpers filling his bedroom.
“yeah, baby? my cock make you feel good?”
“y- yes!”
“y’gonna let me have this cunt every day, sweetheart? take my cum every day?”
“yes, baby, yes!” you either against the sheets, twisting your head to the side from the overwhelming pleasure as you try to hold back your oncoming orgasm, waiting for his permission. “gotta cum, jakey.”
“no, no, sweetie. gotta look at me first, babygirl.” he gently orders in a way that makes your stomach flip, holding your chin between his thumb and fingers before turning your head back to look at him. he brushes your hair out of your face, greeted with your glossy eyes and pouty lips, begging for him to have mercy.
“there she is. there’s my little girl.” he trembles out, biting his bottom lip and forcing his eyes to stay open and look at you, even as the pleasure gets too much. “look so cute while you’re falling apart on my cock.”
“pl-please…jake! need- need’ta-“
“let go, sweetheart. cum with me, baby.”
jake seals your lips with a kiss to suppress the cry you let out as you reach your highs together, trembling bodies holding out for as long as you can to ride out your orgasm.
jake collapses on the bed and cuddles you into his chest, hands brushing through your hair and making sure none of it is in your face.
jake’s phone dings with a text, and he leans over to pick it up. you watch his pretty, brown eyes as he reads the screen, before his lips quirk up in a smirk.
“what?” you ask.
“jay…he‘a asking if we’re done fucking yet.”
“oh my god!” you whine with embarrassment, burying your face into jake’s chest even further as he giggles.
“it’s okay. he said he figured he should put on some noise canceling headphones and make himself scarce when you came by looking for me.”
“still embarrassing…” you mumble, jake cupping your face to lift your head up and press a kiss to your forehead, then your lips.
“m’so glad you found me.” he confesses softly. you smile.
“i think we found each other.”
“mmm,” jake hums, resting his forehead against yours, looking at you like he can’t get enough of you. you’re sure you look the same.
“never gonna be able to go without my dumb little cheerleader girlfriend again.” he smiles teasingly, referencing to his previous harsh words he said about you.
it’s so funny how things can change when you really get to know someone. when you give them a chance.
“and i’m never gonna be able to go without my nerdy little boyfriend again.”
“hey,” he laughs, no real feelings other than happiness behind it. jake sits up on his elbows, caging you in to press a sweet, long kiss to your lips.
he pulls away just enough to be able to look into your eyes as he whispers.
“that was mean, pom-poms.”
you huff, shaking your head with a smile as your hands move to run through his hair, pulling him in for probably the hundredth and definitely not last kiss of the night.
“jerk.”
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note) wow, you made it through! i really hope you enjoyed reading my baby 😭
i tried to make reader a lovable character with layers that some might find relatable/comforting, and that she didn’t seem like a pick me. so i hope that came across. the subject of being afraid of emotional intimacy while at the same time desperately wanting it is something that i struggle with myself. also the anxiety of letting someone see you wholly for who you are, and them still loving you. it’s horrific and scary but beautiful if you only let yourself be vulnerable enough.
the reason i ended it with reader still having anxieties and even saying ‘what if i try to run away again’. is because it’s not happily ever after once you’ve found your person, and reader’s problems aren’t going to magically go away because she ‘got the guy’. she’ll keep learning and growing and making mistakes. but the difference is she has someone in her corner who will be with her through it. hence jake saying ‘then i’ll chase after you’.
at some points i thought the dialogue might seem cheesy, but this is based in the way that i/my friends talk and conversations that i’ve had. so…take that how you want. maybe me and my circle is cheesy lol.
pleaaassseee leave a review/ask/comment- whatever. as i said this is my baby and im curious to see whatever you have to say about this work, what it made you feel or think about, and also answer any questions!! i have these characters pretty fleshed out so i’d like to think i have the answers lol.
thank you again for reading!! — jaz
4K notes · View notes
vantxx95 · 3 months ago
Text
BED CHEM
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amidst trying to keep your gpa up and not get kicked off the cheer team, you take your friend’s advice and ask jake sim, one of the smartest students in your campus, to tutor you. you see him as a snarky know-it-all who’s obsessed with correcting your every mistake, and he sees you as a dumb cheerleader with a rep for breaking hearts. but as things unfold, you discover you both have something to learn from each other, and it’s a lot more than just algebra.
pairing) nerd!jake x cheerleader!reader
genre) smut/pwp, enemies to lovers, college au, fluff, angst
contents) f!reader, popular!jake/reader, jake's a smart a.ss [& a jerk at first but let him cook], basketball player!heeseung/jay, temporary reader x hee, exes, misunderstood reader, brief conversation about throwing up, eventual pining, desc. of anxiety, fear of emotional intimacy, jealousy, lack of communication, happy ending, [ft. itzy's chaeryeong, skz's felix, & layla]
smut warnings) under cut!
wc) 14.5k
now playing) bed chem — sabrina carpenter
notes) i took the lyrics “come right on me, i mean camaraderie!” and ran with it. fic’s moodboard here!
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smut warnings) several smut scenes, switch!jake/reader, angry s.ex?, s.ex in locker room, jake fu.cks reader in cheer uniform, ti.tty sucking, or.al fixation!jake, munch!jake, or.al s.ex, degra.dation, begging, hair pulling, c.um swallowing, exhibi.tionism, reader makes jake almost c.um in his pants during class, s.ex in janitor’s closet [they do it in a bed eventually lol], lots of kissing, praise, flexible!reader, pull out method [dont], jake slaps reader’s thigh once, petnames [baby, little/baby/good girl], reader mentions being on the pill, raw s.ex
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the gym is bustling, filled by cheerleaders and the basketball team as you all practice for the game on wednesday.
“okay! 5 minute break and then we’ll start those high kicks again!” your cheer captian announces after confirming to your coach with some silent hand gestures.
you follow your team as they walk to the bleachers, most grabbing their water bottles or sitting down and wiping the sweat off their skin with a towel.
you reach into your duffel bag, rummaging with your hand blindly for a few moments before realizing you don’t feel your water bottle. unzipping it completely, you search for a bit before letting your head drop with an exhausted sigh.
“what’s wrong?” chaeryeong asks from the seat above yours as she redoes her ponytail.
“i somehow forgot my water.”
“oh, you can have some of mine!” she offers, raising her owala to you.
“do you know how much bacteria is probably in that?” you smile with a teasing grimace, even though you really do mean what you say.
“wow, not even a thank you!” chae pretends to be hurt, putting an offended hand to her chest. “i bet you’re a stanley girly, aren’t you?”
“nope. just a plain water bottle i got from target. secure screw cap, no straw, easy to clean.”
“are you trying to sell it to me?” chae quirks a playful brow and you laugh, waving a hand in front of you as you start to walk towards the gym’s exit. “if you want to drink from your mold filled bottle go ahead. i’m gonna go to the water fountain.”
chaeryeong sticks her tongue out at you just as you enter the hallway, so you make sure to pop your head back in and do the same childish expression at her before approaching the fountain and leaning down to take a drink.
“oh! s-sorry.” a deep voice says as you see sneakers suddenly appear in your downward view. you wipe your mouth and lift your head up to see heeseung, who evidently just came out of the restroom and almost walked right into you.
his hair remains in his face despite him brushing it back with a muscular arm, glistening biceps almost distracting you enough that you forget to answer. but once your eyes travel from his sculpted arms, to his jersey that clings to his sweaty chest, and finally his sweet, doe eyes that stare at you, you remember that he’s expecting you to reply.
“no, it’s okay! don’t worry about it.”
“did you forget your water too?” he chuckles, the sound sending a flurry of butterflies to erupt in your stomach.
“yeah…” you answer lamely.
apparently all of your hot cheerleader mojo goes down the drain when you’re in front of lee heeseung, your college’s top basketball player. (it also doesn’t help that you’ve been crushing on him for a good month now.)
“too?” you echo, unable to think of anything else to keep the conversation going but desperately wanting to. despite having regular practices in the same vicinity, this is the first conversation you’ve had, aside from some lingering stares and a few shared smiles.
“jay usually brings a cooler of drinks, but he didn’t this time. probably forgot.”
“oh, pre game nerves, perhaps?” you joke, smiling and tilting your head teasingly.
“we’re not nervous.” heeseung smirks with a flirty tone. “we always win.”
“cocky, are we?”
“maybe. or maybe you cheering for me throughout the game is my lucky charm.”
you bite down your grin to keep yourself under control, delighted at how well your dry conversation has turned into some playful flirting. you hoped he was into you, but you’re not going to assume that from a few distant smiles.
“what makes you think i’m cheering just for you?”
heeseung chuckles and steps closer, you noting how he has to tilt his head down to look at you because he’s so damn tall. his eyes zero in on yours, an intensity filling the air as he takes a breath to speak—
but right before he can, another voice interrupts as it echos down the hallway.
“yo, hee! they’re needing you back, man.” a shorter man runs up, it not taking you long to recognize him.
it’s jake sim, one of the smartest seniors on your campus.
you feel like you’re from completely different worlds whenever you see him. he’s popular like you, yes. but he has a pretty clean rep with perfect grades to match. professor’s love him for his kiss-ass attitude and students…well.
they want to fuck him— or him fuck them. either way. nothing really matters to anyone when your face is as cute as his and you have a hot aussie accent.
not that you relate to the any of those sentiments. you actually find him annoying as fuck.
“oh,” jake mumbles when he notices you behind heeseung’s larger frame, sounding almost bothered by your presence.
well the feeling’s mutual.
“come on, dude. they sent me to get you.” he further urges, grabbing heeseung’s arm.
“what are you even doing here, jake?” you ask with a hand raising to your hip, only a hint of your annoyance at the interruption showing in your tone. he’s not on the basketball team, neither cheer. he has no reason to be here.
“not right now, pom-poms.” the boy dismisses, not even bothering to look at you as he drags heeseung off.
you scoff in utter disbelief at his rudeness.
he always steals the spotlight when you’re about to answer a question in your one shared class, and now he’s stealing your man? (granted, he’s not your man— but he could have been, if jake hadn’t ran over!)
you stand and wonder what he was about to say. what if that conversation could have ended with him finally asking for your number!
“y/n! c’mon, girl! it’s go time!” one of your team member’s call out from the gym doorway.
you sigh before running to join your squad.
(❤︎)
it’s taken you to nearly be under your minimum gpa to admit that you’re failing algebra, a course you’re required to take. not only can this harm your future, but you could get kicked off the cheer team.
“well, you have to do something!” chaeryeong whisper-yells at you as you sit in physics class.
“i don’t want to have to pay for a tutor, i’m broke enough as it is.”
“then ask one of your friends.” chae suggests.
“…none of my friends are that smart,” you giggle under your breath, chaeryeong slapping you on the arm and causing an echo to resound in the room. like two mischievous children, chae retracts her hand to her lap and you straighten your posture, waiting to make sure no one is looking over at you.
a few moments later, and chae leans closer to you, eyes staring forward in an attempt to be more subtle.
"just ask jake. he's an engineer major. he’s gotta be good at algebra. and i heard he's loaded, so he doesn’t even need your money."
"hell no." you answer plainly, lips falling into a straight line as you glance over at the boy who’s rows away from you, nearly at the front of the class.
try hard.
"oh, come on, y/n. he's not that bad."
"he is. and besides, we’re not friends and i couldn’t ever bring myself to ask a favor of him, nevertheless for free!”
“he’s your best shot, dude. it’s either this, or officially screw yourself over.”
chaeryeong’s words— though not eloquently put, are true. and they annoyingly ring in your head for the remainder of the class.
chae hurries out to go to her next class, as does most everyone else. but you have a little bit of time.
so you linger in your seat, watching how meticulous jake is about placing his things in his backpack, wondering how he manages to straighten his glasses in the most egotistical way possible. you wait until jake starts walking towards the exit and is farther away from the professor, not wanting to have this conversation right in front of him. finally (reluctantly) you stand up and catch up to jake’s side.
he doesn’t bother slowing down, continuing to walk.
“hey, uh- jake,” you begin, feeling weird to say his name to his face. you cut to the chase, not caring enough to keep up impressions with him. “look, i need a tutor. i’m-“
“no, sorry.” he cuts you off simply, leaving you a tad stunned as your stride is broken. you stare at the back of his head until he turns a corner, then you go jogging after him.
“what? but, i-i”
“i don’t want to have to spend my free time tutoring someone.” jake explains, glancing at you before looking away just as quickly.
“i can pay you.” you say, innerly embarrassed at how fast your resolve has crumbled. chaeryeong would be laughing at you if she could see this right now.
“not interested.”
you can almost hear her in your brain…
“well, there’s gotta be something!”
jake finally comes to a sudden halt, almost causing you to run into his backpack before he turns to face you.
“i’m assuming it’s grammar you need help with?”
your initially surprised expression drops into a glare as you reply with a clearly fed up, “no. algebra.”
jake seems to ponder this for a moment, before smiling at you in a way that actually seems like it may be genuine (or at least not entirely snarky).
“walk my dog.”
“huh?” is that a euphemism for something?
“my dog, layla. she’s full of energy but sometimes i’m just too tired after classes or work. do you like animals?”
“i’m a biology major.”
jake looks a bit stunned, eyes blinking to open wider as they skim over your appearance for a second.
“what?” you start, very clearly offended. “why do you look so surprised?”
“i just thought it’d be…something else.”
“like what?”
“i don’t know. something in the creative field?”
“that’s stereotypical.”
jake bites on his bottom lip, you realizing he’s trying to conceal a smile, but before you can get mad about it— he continues.
“look, if you want it, we have a deal. yes or no, pom-poms?”
a flare of anger sparks inside you every single time he refers to you as ‘pom-poms’.
with lips pressed into an agitated line, you stretch out your open palm demandingly. “give me your phone.”
“why?”
“so i can give you my number and type in the contact name myself. my names y/n, not pom-poms.”
jake laughs under his breath, handing you his phone and watching as you type in your information.
“so is that a yes?”
“yes. can we meet tomorrow?”
“at my place.” jake agrees. “jay’s my only roommate so it should be less distracting for you.”
you hand jake back his phone, the man giggling at the little wave emoji you sent to yourself through his number so you’d have it in your phone.
“by the way, i already knew your name.”
“then why do you always call me pom-poms?”
“becaause…you always have them?” jake answers like it’s obvious. you scoff, putting an unamused hand to your hip.
“i don’t have them right now, do i?”
“no, and it’s honestly a little eerie.” he smirks, clearly intentionally getting under your skin and enjoying every second of it.
“whatever,” you exhale, completely over the conversation. “i gotta go to my next class. see ya.”
“see ya, pom-poms.”
…jerk.
(❤︎)
heeseung was right, they won the game, and his team wanted to go out and celebrate. it wasn’t a big win or anything, just a casual competition, but every now and then they like to celebrate their wins by going out to eat or a casual hang out at someone’s dorm. you also think they do it so they have an excuse to invite you and your cheer squad to hang out.
and this time was no different. after the game you all piled in friend’s cars and headed over to a small but good local restaurant nearby. unfortunately, you never got a chance to talk to heeseung. the restaurant was smaller and a bit packed with all of you in there, and you and hee ended up being seated far away from each other. all the different conversations and bustle of the restaurant covered up anyone’s voices besides who was right next to you, so you couldn’t even hear him.
still, it was fun. you ended up rolling into bed a little past 1 am.
which you’re now really regretting as you had to wake up at 5 am to get ready and rush to conditioning practice. once you’ve finished your drills, showered, and are walking to your first class of the day, you decided to text jake.
you: hey 👋 we still down for today
jake sim: Yes.
okay. one text and you’re already seeing some similarities in how he texts with your 60 year old uncle.
you: there a certain time i should come
you: also can u give me ur building number
jake: Is there*
you: huh
jake: IS there a certain time I should come?*
jake: Do you have something against vowels and punctuation?
you: omg!!
you: just tell me the fuckin time and address!!?!
you: is that enough punctuation for you?
jake: …
jake: Fucking*
(❤︎)
after cheer practice you hop in your car and enter in the address that was like pulling teeth for jake to finally give you. you can tell by looking at the address that it’s off campus, and as you pull up in jake’s driveway you realize chaeryeong was right when she said jake was loaded.
okay, maybe not loaded loaded, but he’s definitely well off, judging by the outside of his very nice home, perfectly stripe cut grass and shapely shrubbery. there’s even multiple cars here, which you note with a bit of confusion.
you stand and knock at the big, sculpted wooden doors for a minute, before simply trying the knob, which is luckily unlocked.
when you step inside you here distant voices.
deciding to follow the sound, it leads you to a billiard room where you see heeseung, jake and jay playing pool. they’re all stood around while a blonde haired man has his back to you, leaned over as he angles his shot. they still haven’t noticed your presence yet, and you feel incredibly awkward despite being invited to be here.
“um…jake?”
at your voice, all the men turn at once, the blonde man revealing his face to you.
you’re struck with horror as you both stare wide eyed at each other. someone’s speaking but you don’t catch it, everything sounding like it’s under water.
it’s lee felix. aka your ex that you abruptly ghosted after almost a year into your relationship.
“y/n?” felix utters, and it’s like you just breached the water’s surface, a sudden wave of consciousness washing over you as everything comes back into focus.
“y/n, i’m so sorry! i legitimately forgot!” jake says, and you take your opportunity to look at him and away from felix.
“it’s- its okay, i just…um,” you’re about to offer to leave, before heeseung speaks up.
“just stay, y/n. ever played pool?” he smiles sweetly, and the goosebumps that have raised on your skin soothe a little at his comforting expression.
“yeah! we can play cutthroat!” jay exclaims, already going over to the rack to get you a cue.
“she can just use mine.” heeseung stops him, coming to your side and causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach.
“we’ve come close enough to poking someone’s eye out already, i don’t think we need more pointy sticks in the equation.” he laughs.
“okay, but i’m going first, since i was going to win that last game anyways.”
“as if, bro!” jay tries with jake. “i was gonna win!”
as heeseung moves to intervene the two boys and rearrange the balls on the table, at some point felix silently appears by your side, startling you as he softly says “have you played cutthroat before?”
“no,” you answer just as softly as the boys fill in the silence with their bickering. “i don’t even know how to play regular pool.”
felix laughs with a shining smile, and your chest fills with bittersweet nostalgia at the familiar yet almost forgotten memory of the deep timber of felix’s laugh and the crinkle of his nose that often pairs with it.
“don’t worry, cutthroat is actually a pretty good game for your first time despite the name. want me to show you how to hold your cue?”
“is that the stick thing?” you ask, and felix bursts into higher pitched giggles, the warmth of his aura making the tension in your body melt away.
(❤︎)
so much for jake’s place being ‘less distracting’. it’s 9 pm and you don’t think you’re actually going to have a session with jake tonight. but oh well, you’re actually having fun!
after about two hours of playing pool and just hanging out, you ask jake where the bathroom is before walking down the long hallway.
as you’re walking back, coming up to the archway of jake’s living room you all ended up migrating to, you hear heeseung speaking.
“i didn’t know you were tutoring her?”
“yeah,” jake answers with a huffed laugh. “i haven’t actually tutored her yet, and i probably never will.”
your brows furrow as you halt your feet, standing in the hallway silently to listen.
“what do you mean?” another voice asks. you think it’s jay.
“i don’t think she’s really looking to brush up on her algebra, man. she’s a typical dumb cheerleader, she’s probably just over here because she knows i’m friends with the basketball team.”
“dude-“ heeseung starts, but another thicker aussie accent interrupts.
“that’s fucked, man! how can you say that about her?”
there’s a tense few moments of silence, and you’re not sure if you wished you could see what’s happening or glad that you can’t. you blink as moisture starts to build up in your eyes.
“me? what about you? i’m surprised you’re defending her. didn’t she drop you like you meant nothing to her right when your relationship started to get serious?”
you can’t. you can’t listen anymore.
as quiet and quickly as possible, you head back to the bathroom before a watery gasp can expose your presence. a hand is rubbing at your eyes as tears stream down your face when your hands feel the cool metal of the doorknob.
you shut the door behind you and slide down it, onto your butt, crying into your knees that you wrap your arms around.
then you feel something wet swipe up your leg and you flinch, looking up to see a blonde little dog looking at you curiously.
“oh,” you whisper aloud to yourself, trying not to think about how stuffy you sound. “you must be layla, huh?”
the dogs mouth opens up to let her tongue hang out, appearing like she’s giving you a smile as she sits down obediently, tail wagging behind her.
you can’t help but let out a somber little giggle, wiping a tear off your cheek before leaning over to pet her on the head.
“you’re cute.” you smile, letting her soft fur and rhythmic panting calm you down.
a few minutes later the door opens, jake’s head popping in.
“oh, there you are.” he says, watching how layla is spread out on her back in your lap as you pet her belly.
“did you get lost?”
“uh, yeah.” you take the excuse, gently pushing layla off and standing up. “couldn’t find the bathroom.”
“heeseung and felix are about to leave, but they wanted to say bye.” jake explains, and you follow him out the door and to wherever the boys are.
“okay.” you reply, trying to make your voice sound smooth and not like you were just crying.
“hey, jake?”
the aussie looks over at you as you continue walking.
“can we still get a short tutoring sesh in?” you ask innocently on the outside, but inwardly there’s the burn of spite in your lungs. “i know it’s kinda late but i really need it.”
“oh…yeah, sure.” jake answers, looking away from you.
you bite down a salty smirk.
(❤︎)
after going over to jake’s house you turned his texts to mute and haven’t looked ever since.
it’s saturday night, which means football competition. a neighboring team is at your college’s home field to play head to head, and right now, it’s anybody’s game.
you’re in the middle of a cupie stunt right now, your base holding your body up with one hand as you focus on balancing and keeping on a big smile.
once your team’s routine is over you go to sit on the sidelines as the announcer’s voice booms over the speakers.
“hey, i’m gonna go get a gatorade.” chaeryeong taps on your shoulder, pointing at the food vendor who walks up the bleacher steps. “do you want anything?”
you turn to look, which proves to be a mistake as you make direct eye contact with none other than jake sim, who’s staring right at you amongst the crowd (and he looks a little ticked).
you snap your head back straight, letting out a yelped ‘no’. chae luckily doesn’t really pick up on your change of tone with how loud the crowd is, and replies with an ‘okay’ before jogging after the descending vendor.
she comes back a few moments later with her drink and a bag of chips.
“i don’t know how you eat during the games, aren’t you afraid you’ll get sick during a routine?”
“you’re on tiktok too much.” chae replies as she pops open the bag. “stop watching those horrible clips. it’s not very likely to happen at all. and i’m not a flyer like you. even if i puked, it wouldn’t get on anyone.”
“okaay! sorry i brought it up, getting grossed oout!”
chaeryeong laughs, bumping her shoulders with yours.
“hey, tell me about how it went with jake?”
you sigh with a roll of your eyes. “he only taught me for like, an hour.”
“oh!” chae squeals amidst chewing. “perhaps that was because you were too busy falling in love?!”
“oh my god, shut up, chae!”
the girl takes a quick swig of her drink before doing the exact opposite of what you asked. “do you know how many couples start off hating each other? you know, that burning anger you have for him could make for some hot se—“
“chaeryeong!” you gasp and chae laughs at how you sound like a scandalized victorian woman who just saw someone’s ankles. “stop it! that’s never happening.”
“i bet you’d have really good bed chem.” she states like it’s a fact.
“whatever.” you say just as the stadium erupts.
your home team doesn’t win, but your cheer squad goes out on the field to do your last routine anyways. you all go to the locker room to change after, most of your team moving quick to go to some party.
“you not coming, y/n?” your friend asks, chaeryeong also looking at you for your answer.
“i don’t think so, guys. maybe next time.”
eventually everyone walks out, leaving you alone as you set your pom-poms down.
amidst taking off your top, your hair falls into your face, leading you to shake your head as you blindly place your shirt inside your locker. when you open your eyes, you spot jake in your peripheral, staring at you wide eyed like an idiot while holding open the door.
“jake!” you screech, moving to cover your chest with your arms. “what the fuck!”
“i’m- i-i’m sorry, i was just trying to find you-“
“i don’t care, pervert! don’t come in the locker room!”
even with the distance, you can see how jake’s ears turn red. his face morphs from embarrassed panic to mad (and still embarrassed), the boy stomping closer until he’s right in front of you.
“i’m not a pervert, you kept ignoring my texts! we had a deal, you know!”
“well, you pissed me off!”
“me! how did i piss you off?”
“you- you’re…so fucking annoying!” you let out, not even knowing where you’re going with this as you get up in jake’s face.
“you ruined my chances with heeseung and act like an ass all the time!”
“ruined your chances! how did i ruin your chances with hee?” jake asks, and you back down a bit, not wanting to tell jake that you heard what he said that night.
at your silence, jake takes the opportunity to continue. “i mean, yeah. i don’t want you to be with heeseung, but that doesn’t mean i’d meddle—“
“and why don’t you want me to be with heeseung,” you interject, getting closer inch by inch to jake’s face as he stands his ground, giving you the same piercing eyes you challenge him with. “is it because…you think i’ll break his heart?”
you try to ask the question with just as much bite as your previous, hoping your insecurities don’t show through.
jake blanches, slightly taken aback by the directness of your question before he doubles down ten fold, pressing closer to you until your noses almost touch.
“yeah. maybe i do.” he grumbles to admit, breath puffing into your face.
you inhale to scoff, but then your chest brushes up against his, and suddenly you both remember that you’re only in a bra and cheer skirt.
jake glances down, eyes flitting over how your boobs press together when you have your arms angrily crossed, before meeting your gaze again.
the next thing you know, your lips are on his.
you don’t know who leaned in first, all you know is that he tastes like lemonade, tart but sweet enough to leave you wanting more.
his hands immediately go to your breasts, pushing you up against the lockers in his haste as the metal clangs and echos around the room, covering up your soft moan of shock.
your hands naturally move to rest at his stomach, where your surprised to feel the firm divots and raises of abs.
“do you-…do you workout?” you pant after parting from jake’s lips to take a breath. the boy doesn’t bother stopping, trailing his mouth from the corner of yours to down your neck, kissing and mouthing along your bra strap.
“can i take this off?” he asks, ignoring your question. you nod with a quiet little ‘yes’, jake reaching behind you to snap open your bra with one hand.
you try not to be too impressed (and fail), noting to yourself that the rumors must be true and this nerd does indeed fuck.
jake hastily guides your bra down your arms and tosses it to the side, latching his plush lips to your bud as his veiny hands continue to kneed at your breasts.
“oh my god,” you whisper under your breath, fingers moving to run through his hair as you let your head lean back against the locker. jake lets out a breathy groan at the feeling of you on his tongue and how you’re unconsciously giving small tugs to the tufts of his hair.
you whimper and flinch at the ghost of jake’s teeth on your nipple, quite literally feeling the curve of his smile on your skin as he glances up at you, not bothering to detach from your tits as his eyes sparkle with mischief. you let out a sigh as you smirk down at him, giving a now conscious, firm pull to his hair and watching how jake’s eyes shut in the stinging pleasure, a throaty moan escaping him.
“you’re a jerk.”
jake kisses from the swell of your breast and down your stomach in response, as though apologizing. now on his knees, he pauses at the waistband of your skirt. your hands move to take it off before jake stops you, sliding his palms over the material and to your thighs, squeezing at the plushness of them as he moves his head downward.
butterfly kisses are now being pressed up your legs until jake’s face is fully under your skirt. you put a hand over your mouth as you feel jake slowly sliding your panties down, trying to contain a needy moan at his teasing.
“damn, you’re wet.” jake whispers, the breath of his voice tickling your skin and causing your legs to tremble.
“please?” you whine, but only barely, still trying to hold on to some of your dignity.
“please what, pom-poms?” jake asks, and you can hear the smugness in his tone even while his face is hidden.
your eyes roll.
“oh my god, jake. please just shut the fuck up and eat me out!”
“can do.”
that’s all the warning jake gives before burying his face in your pussy, going at it like he’s starved.
you bite down on your lip to keep from crying out, not wanting jake to know just how good his mouth feels. (god knows his ego doesn’t need the boost.) you think you’re doing pretty good at keeping quiet, even when jake flicks your clit with his tongue, you only flinch slightly.
but jake takes notice of your silence, and it’s pissing him off.
so he runs a digit through the wetness of your pussy before pressing the entirety of it into your hole roughly, feeling how tightly your walls clench around him.
“f- fuck!” you startle.
it’s only one finger, but the length of it and the stretch his knuckles provide as he pumps them in and out of you mercilessly is making you come undone quicker than you would have thought.
jake’s making lots of slurping noises as his tongue licks at your leaking hole, nose nuzzling over your pulsing clit.
fuck, this man knows how to eat pussy. and when he presses a second finger inside of you, you know you’ve lost the quiet game. a whine comes from your throat as you squeeze your eyes shut, hips moving in small motions to meet the thrust of jake’s fingers.
he’s growling against you, eyes shut as he seems lost in the taste of you.
it isn’t until your head rolls to the side in pleasure that you notice he’s tugged his pants down just enough for his (to your shock, very big) cock to spring out, jerking himself off furiously as pre cum dribbles from the head.
“are you- fucking serious?” you laugh breathlessly, jake not stoping but opening his eyes to give you a confused glare.
“you’re getting off just from eating my pussy? how many of your hookups know you’re a munch?”
jake’s suddenly pulling his mouth off and fingers out of you with a cold look, but the hand on his cock never slows. if anything, it gets faster.
“if you’re gonna be a brat then i’m not making you cum.”
you’re thrown off, not expecting him to react this way, or how strangely embarrassed yet turned on it makes you feel. something about how angrily jake glares at you while he fists his big cock, even while he’s the one kneeling at your feet, it makes you feel oddly small.
and as much as it pains you to admit, desperate.
“i’m- i’m…sorry?”
jake lets out a humored scoff, shaking his head.
“you’re gonna have to do better than that. beg.”
you grit your teeth as you let out a frustrated sigh, unable to make eye contact as you force yourself to speak.
“please…make me cum.”
jake gives you an utterly unimpressed expression. “or i can just leave-“
“no! please, i- i’m sorry. i’ll be good, i wont be a brat anymore. just please make me cum?”
jake’s lips slowly stretch into a smirk that makes chills run down your spine, watching as his hand returns to his dick to rub over the leaking tip.
you unconsciously lick your lips and swallow.
“you’re gonna be a good girl for me?” he asks darkly.
“y- yes. i’ll be a good girl.”
jake’s diving back in with double the passion, his fingers slipping right back in as he curls them just right inside of you, hurling you towards climax.
“ah, j-jake, please! need- can i?” you pant, hardly able to get a word out as he’s sucking at your clit, giving it special attention.
he hums and you take it as a yes, thighs trembling as you cum all over jake’s chin.
“my turn.” jake growls, standing up and pushing you down to kneel in front of him, barely giving you any time to catch your breath before he’s shoving his dick in your mouth. still, you moan out happily, admittedly dying to have him in your mouth the moment you saw his pretty, pink tip and how big he is.
“that’s it, suck my cock like a good little slut.” jake orders, admiring how hot you look sitting on the floor in your short little cheer skirt. he grabs your hair in two fists, chuckling at how it looks like makeshift pigtails as he pulls on your hair to guide you further down his cock.
you sputter, struggling to take his bulbous tip down your throat but loving it and the stretch your jaw has to make to accommodate him.
he’s literally fucking your face, letting out little groans as he harshly snaps his hips against you.
once he looks down and sees your pretty eyes already looking up at him, it’s over.
jake deeply growls when he presses your face flat against his pelvis, cock shoved deeply down your throat as he pumps out his hot load, forcing you to swallow it all. (not that you wouldn’t have anyway.)
jake pulls you off of him with a wet pop, trying to it to ogle at how you lick his cum off your lips.
tucking himself back inside his pants, you look for your own clothes as jake finds a towel to wipe his hands and face off with, before tossing it in a nearby hamper.
“um,” jake starts, biting his lip as an awkward air takes over between you. “i am actually sorry, about…whatever i did that’s made you feel like i ruined it with heeseung for you.”
“it’s…it’s whatever. i’m sorry too, i kinda lost it.”
jake laughs softly, the sound breaking a little of the tension as he looks up to make direct eye contact. “i think we both did, but it’s okay. maybe we should just call it even?”
“sure,” you smile, combing your hair out of your face, trying to make it look like you didn’t just get eaten out and throat fucked in the locker room. (though you doubt anyone is around at this point, or at least you hope.)
“i’ll come around sometime to walk layla, just shoot me a text…and i really will answer this time.” you joke, jake taking the initiative to grab your cheer bag for you.
“sooo…do you still want me to be your tutor?”
“yeah! i do.” you answer simply, an annoying little voice in the back of your head saying that maybe chaeryeong was right, and you really did just need to fuck the frustration out of each other. even though there wasn’t actually any fucking…
“i still have something i’m wondering though,” you say as the two of you walk out of the locker room, jake letting you lead the way out of the stadium.
“what were you doing at basketball practice? on monday.”
“oh, well, normally heeseung comes with jay to our place and we game or something, after their practice. but i got off early and just decided to drop in.”
“where do you work?” you ask, looking over to jake and watching how he slightly swings your bag side to side as he walks.
“part time at the cafe, in the cafeteria…you haven’t seen me?” he asks jokingly, a faux pout on his lips.
“no.” you play along, answering ‘smugly’ as you lift your chin up, before giggling. “no, i usually have my lunch in the library.”
“oh, toooo…study?”
“i wish. if i spent that time studying i probably wouldn’t need a tutor,“ you admit with a bashful smile. “but usually i’m reading something.”
“oh! what do you like to read?”
“ah,” you whine, covering your face as you let out an embarrassed laugh. usually you’re undisturbed in the library, everyone else is typically there to study, have some alone time, or eat their lunch in a place that’s quiet. you’ve never had anyone ask you what you’re reading.
“it’s…embarrassing. i’m gonna sound boring.”
“what?” jake laughs, turning in front of you and walking backwards so he can fully look at you. “tell me, i’m dying to know now.”
“i mean, usually it’s about animal history-“
“right! biology major.” jake remembers.
“yup.” you nod. “buuut, sometimes i read biographies or like, theories.”
jake’s ears practically perk, but you don’t notice, pushing open a door before jake’s back can run into it.
“oh, thanks.” he says before returning to your side after the close call, deciding he’d rather not possibly fall right in front of you with your heavy cheer bag to land on top of him. “theories? what- what kind of theories?”
“right now i’m reading einstein’s.”
jake looks over to you with widened eyes, surprised because he’s never met anyone else that actually has an interest in stuff like that. he’s tried to rant to jay or heeseung about that kind of stuff, be he can tell they’re just replying on auto pilot, not really listening.
jake wonders how far you’ve read, what all you know. he’s practically tingling with excitement, about to ask you if you know about the team of scientists that disproved one of einstein’s theories when-
“well, i’m gonna get back to my dorm now,”you say just as you reach the campus sidewalk, street lamps lighting the path as dusk turns to darkness.
“i can walk you? it’s pretty late.” jake offers, already moving as though to go with you.
you feel your heart stop, a feeling you can only describe as ‘oh no’ burning a hole into the pit of your stomach.
“jake…earlier…it was just casual, yknow…”
jake stares at you, eyes round and capturing the lights in his dark pupils like stars in the sky. he stills, free hand going inside his pocket while the other still holds your bag.
“not that i’m assuming anything!” you hurry to add. “just thought i’d…clarify.”
“yeah…yeah, i know. i just- i just didn’t think it’d be a big deal to walk you home.”
“it’s not a big deal. that’s why i can do it myself.” you explain as nonchalantly as you can, but on the inside you feel like there’s needles pricking your skin, hairs all standing on end. you’re dying to be out of this situation, anxiety making you feel like prey, wanting to run, run, run.
“right! yeah, of course!”
you smile smoothly, leaning in to take your bag from his hand.
“i’ll see you at our next session, okay?”
“okay.” jake smiles softly, but you don’t look for too long, turning your back too soon, listening to the voice yelling in your head to leave.
you hear jake’s voice behind you as you walk down the paved path, his voice slightly carrying into the night.
“stay safe, pom-poms!”
you laugh, little and quiet to yourself as you whisper.
“jerk.”
(❤︎)
for the next week you’re busier than ever: tutor sessions, cheer practice, competition days, your usual studies and classes, taking layla on walks every now and then when jake is at work.
and yet, you’re thriving.
jake’s ‘hard work on you’— as he put it, is paying off.
you’re at your usual spot that you and jake have your sessions, his house.
the clock strikes 10 pm when you finally call it quits. layla (who’s been switching between sitting on your and jake’s feet from underneath the table) jumps up the second she hears the slam of your notebook and jake getting up to put away his study material.
“what is it, girl?” you laugh, watching the golden furred dog do an excited little wiggle dance in front of you.
she looks from you, to the front door, and back at you again.
“jake, i think she wants to go outside.”
uh-oh. you said her buzzword.
at the mention of ‘outside’, layla becomes twice as restless, whining and pawing at the front door with her claws.
“layla, no,” jake stops her, pulling her away from the door before she can scratch the wood.
“are you gonna take her?” you ask, jake turning his head to you as he continues to pat and scratch layla’s back, trying to sedate her.
“maybe just for a little bit, once you go home.”
“…i’ll go with you.” you offer, jake’s brows raising slightly in surprise.
“you don’t have to, y/n. i know we have a ‘deal’ but i don’t actually care if you-“
“i want to.” you shrug.
“you do?”
“yeah?”
“aren’t you tired?” jake asks, standing up and tilting his head at you.
you tilt yours back at him, a teasing smirk on your face. “i’m not. are you?”
jake takes one look at your smirk and falls into your trap, so easily persuaded by even the notion of a challenge. grabbing layla’s leash out of a nearby drawer in the kitchen, he hooks it onto layla’s collar and puts on his slides.
“lets go.” he smiles, you laughing at how his accent really pops out when he says the word ‘go’.
“what’s so funny?” he giggles with you despite not knowing why, watching as you hurriedly slip the shoes closest to you— which happen to be jake’s crocs that he never wears. they’re way too big, you putting them in ‘sport mode’ to try and combat the obvious size issue.
it doesn’t work. but despite that, they stay on.
“you look like a garden gnome,” jake laughs, letting you playfully slap him on the shoulder and watching how you bolt out the door a second later with a screech, like a kid playing tag.
“don’t run in them!! poms, you’re going to fall!” he yells, quickly grabbing a coat off the hook for you in case you get cold before he and layla hurry out the door and after you.
you walk around for about 15 minutes, eventually coming upon a gas station.
“…you hungry?”
you end up being the one to go inside the gas station while jake stays outside with layla, since dogs aren’t allowed in. he watches you closely the entire time though, staring at you while he stands right at the glass door entrance.
“i’m a big girl, you know.” you laugh once you walk back out, jake holding the door open for you. “im not gonna die if you’re not there to watch me.”
“i know, but gas stations at night just kinda freak me out.” jake whines, taking the plastic bag from your hands while you hold the two cups of hot ramen. you go and sit at a nearby bench that’s right beneath a window, the glow of the gas station’s light’s shining a light on the area around you.
“did you make it how i told you?” jake sing-songs as he ties layla’s leash to the bench’s leg, the dog taking the time to enjoy the break as she lays by his feet obediently.
“yes, i followed your obscenely specific instructions down to the very detail to make you the perfect ramen, jake.” you roll your eyes in faux annoyance, handing the cup of ramen to him, as well as a plastic fork.
“thank you.” he smiles coyly, taking the container from you.
“you’re welcome, princess.” you sigh jokingly.
you take a few bites of your ramen before speaking up again, as jake seems completely content to wordlessly munch on his food.
“so what are you and the boy’s gonna do this weekend?”
“mmm,” jake hums, swallowing before continuing. “i think we’re going over to felix’s.”
“oh.” you reply, picking up your drink to take a sip a second later.
even though it was chill when you last saw felix, you still feel a little awkward when his name comes up…or maybe it’s guilt you’re feeling.
“what’s up with that?” jake asks, looking at how your body language has changed to uncomfortable.
“what’s up with what?”
“…all of it, i guess.” jake specifies, and he sounds serious. like he really wants to know your history with felix.
you exhale and hope it doesn’t sound shaky, giving yourself a moment to take another bite of your food as you gather your thoughts. usually you might say ‘i don’t want to talk about it’ or ‘i don’t know’, but after hearing what jake said that first time you were over at your house…you want him to hear your side. even though your side doesn’t really excuse what you did.
“we…i liked him, freshman year. and he didn’t at first, but then he came around and eventually asked me out. and…he was honestly really great, he was a wonderful partner and i…really, really liked him.”
“so then…why? why’d you…”
“drop him?” you finish jake’s trailed of sentence for him.
he nods.
“i just…” you pause, looking down at your shoes and twisting the soles of them into the concrete. your heart wanes in realization that you’re about to talk about it. “sometimes i get really scared when- someone…cares about me? i don’t know. i don’t know how to describe it.”
“why does someone caring for you scare you?”
“i’m not sure. feeling…pressure? to be perfect, to keep them from leaving? or…scared of having someone that i care for so much, because…that means they could really hurt me.”
“when did that start?” jake asks softly, voice free of judgement, even pity— you think. just a gentle desire to understand.
“oh, i don’t know.” you laugh, though there’s no real humor behind it. you look down at layla and the way the light hits her fur, turning the tips a flaming gold. “parent stuff, friend stuff…i had a really shitty ex in high school.”
jake barks out a short laugh. “same, i think it’s a part of the teenage experience.”
“trauma builds character.” you say matter-of-factly, jake giggling as you can’t help but join him.
“i am sorry though, about what happened to you and that it’s made you feel this way. you didn’t deserve that.”
you bite your lip, staring at each other as your stomach twists from the soft timber of his voice and the gentleness of his words.
you look away.
“i know what i did to him was wrong. it doesn’t excuse it….”
“…no.” jake confirms. “but it does make sense. and it’s good that you know what the problem is now.”
“yeah,” you agree with a small smile, heart still heavy, but at the same time you do feel a bit better after talking about it.
“and i have gotten better. i still get scared, and sometimes i have unconscious bad habits, but i’ve gotten better at…telling my brain to shut up, when i realize.” you struggle to explain, but jake nods his head like he gets it.
your arms shiver slightly, from the cool night air or the adrenaline rush after voicing your feelings— you’re not sure.
jake unties the jacket from around his waist and lays it over your shoulders, but your goosebumps remain.
(❤︎)
as you walk into physics class you take a small glance at jake, offering a quick smile as you pass by him at his usual spot in front row before you go and sit down towards the middle.
there’s already someone sitting to your right, so you’re about to sit your bag on the left seat for chae (who’s apparently running late) when jake abruptly appears and takes the spot.
you’re staring at him with a confused ‘what the fuck’ face as he finishes opening his backpack and placing his things down, putting on his glasses so he can see the professor and their material from far away before turning to smile at you.
“hi,” he whispers.
you try to change your expression to a more casual one, seeing that he for some reason decided to change his usual seating arrangements to sit next to you, and that seems to be his only prerogative.
“hey…” you whisper back, turning to face the front after.
the professor begins the class, but you can’t focus. jake keeps trying to help you, leaning close to add on to what the professor is saying, then he notices the eraser on your pencil is almost gone and gives you a new one. but worst of all, when you tilt your head to write something down, hair cascading like a curtain over your face, jake gently moves to tuck your hair behind your ear, smiling sweetly at you when you glance at him.
you’re not confused anymore. you think you know exactly what’s going on and you’re…you don’t know what to do. everything suddenly feels like it’s spiraling into a mess and you desperately want to feel like you’re in control of it again.
so you cross your legs and lean in jake’s direction, taking it slow and simply brushing up against his pant leg.
jake’s eyes look down but quickly move back up to the front of the class, maybe assuming it’s on accident, though his expression does look slightly frazzled.
you want to mess him up more.
thankful for the table that’s about to cover your sins, you place your hand right above jake’s knee.
he fully acknowledges you now, snapping his head to give you a confused look, trying and failing to hide how flustered he is thanks to his blushing ears.
you tilt your head to indicate confusion, your ‘innocent’ act not fooling him at all as you creep your hand farther up his leg, to the meatier part of his thigh. the higher you go, the pinker his cheeks grow, looking more and more adorable.
you feel like a predator that’s caught her prey when you squeeze and his body jerks, hair falling into his eyes before he shakes it away and adjusts his glasses.
you feel like your pupils dilate at the action, watching jake sitting there and not even telling you to stop, letting you touch him in class where anyone could catch you. he’s dressed like the smart boy he is today, his polo shirt and kaki pants paired with oval framed glasses almost giving a nerdy virgin vibe. it makes you really wet, especially since you’re so close to his cock, which you never got to touch with your hands.
a bulge is starting to grow in his pants and you let your fingers barely graze over it as you start massaging his thigh.
“y-y/n?” he speaks so softly you would miss it if it weren’t for how close you sit together.
“hm?”
you glance up at him casually, like you’re fingers aren’t narrowly avoiding his cock right now, and it’s driving him crazy.
it’s making him desperate.
you’re in the middle of class and yet he’s dying for you to just touch his dick already.
he’s debating between if he should ask or not when you finally put your whole hand over his bulge. he stops a whine from bubbling up his throat as your touch is still feather light, not even giving him the grace of more pressure. pushing his hips up into your palm, you pull away, bringing your hands back into your lap and attention back on the professor.
“what? b- baby-“
“what, nerd?” you say with a little bite, and the name has jake twitching in his pants.
“pl- please? can you keep…touching me?”
“we’re in class, jake.” you say, pretending to be mildly annoyed, as if you weren’t the one who started all this.
a tiny noise escapes from jake’s throat, squeezing his eyes shut as he clenches his thighs, trying to relieve the pulsing of his own dick as blood rushes down south.
“jake!” you scold with a harsh whisper, genuinely surprised by how shameless he’s getting.
“please, y/n.” he struggles out, voice whiney. “i need you.”
your breath turns shakey, the facade of being unaffected crumbling as you feel yourself getting more and more turned on. granting him mercy, you bring your hand back down to fully grope his bulge, eyes growing wide as you’re reminded of how big he is.
“fuck.” you sigh, jake giving a twitchy thrust at your voice.
“dirty boy.” is all you say before facing the class again, really trying not to get caught now as your touches turn into you basically jacking him off over his pants.
jake humps into your hand as subtly as he can, almost missing how the professor’s asking him a question if it weren’t for how you pinch his thigh to break him out of it.
“w-what?” jake asks, sounding far from intelligent.
“i said, what is the speed of darkness, mr. sim.”
“oh- um,”
your hand goes right back to jacking him off, stopping at the tip of his dick to massage over it. jake swallows down a cry.
“i expected this to be easy, especially for you, mr. sim.”
“it- it has none.” he croaks out, voice almost raising in his efforts to avoid his building orgasm, the panic almost making him reach that point faster. “darkness is the absence of light, so it doesn’t h- have any speed.”
“correct! dark is simply the absence of photons which means-“
“i’m gonna cum.” jake says as quietly as possible, leaning back in his chair and pushing his face into the side of your arm, hiding his face. “y/n, m’gonna!”
you stop your hand and push him off of you, sitting up straighter as you whisper “after class”, leaving jake trembling in his chair, panting under his breath and too desperate to argue.
it feels like an eternity has passed when class ends, you getting up immediately and jake rushing to follow you. you lead him out into the hallway, hurrying up and opening a closet door before the crowds of other students fill the halls. jake practically moans when you grab him by the shirt and shove him inside, shutting the door behind you. it’s dark as you feel for the light switch, unable to find it.
“fuck, where’s the lights?”
you hear a click and the small closet is dimly illuminated, jake standing right in front of you with wide, shiny eyes, holding a string that’s connected to the one lightbulb that lights the space, which you now can see is a janitor’s closet.
“oh, thank you.” you say normally, like your panties aren’t soaking wet, before pushing him against the wall, almost knocking over a mop bucket as you intensely make out with jake.
the boy lets you swallow down his long moan of relief, needy hands grasping at your hips and already trying to rut against your leg.
“you really that desperate? can’t help but hump your big cock against me?”
jake whimpers, looking at you with big, pretty brown eyes as he wordlessly begs you.
“maybe you aren’t that smart of a nerd. can’t even talk? does your dick getting some attention make you that dumb?”
“yes! yes, yes, m’ so dumb. so stupid for you. please make me cum? it hurts, baby, please?”
“fuck me.” you order. “then you can cum.”
jake takes a second to process your words before he’s stripping himself bare.
“can- can you take off everything, please? wanna feel all of you.” he asks adorably, and you grant him his wish, albeit— you have to tease him. you peel off your clothes so slowly, jake watching every inch of your skin being revealed like he’s never seen a woman’s body before, hands clenching at his sides with the need to touch you.
“please, please, please.” he chants under his breath, almost to himself unconsciously.
“c’mere, jakey.” you coo, him hugging himself up to you a millisecond later.
he’s whimpering and slobbering into your neck as he attempts to give you kisses in his messy state of mind. you start to giggle until his cock catches at the entrance of your pussy and causes you to let out a whine, jake getting more excited (if it’s possible) after feeling how wet you are for him.
“y/n, please.” he blubbers, resting his forehead against yours.
“you can go inside, baby. fuck me, touch me. i don’t care anymore, just give me your cock.”
jake slowly pushes himself inside, the both of you moaning in relief before jake starts fucking into you slowly.
his face is sweating, glasses sliding down his nose bridge as he tries to give you time to adjust fully to his length. you’re so tight, looking so pretty while your eyes are squeezed shut, head leaning back against the wall as you’re stretched out around his dick. jake peppers little kisses all over the exposed expanse of your neck, you letting out happy little noises at his careful care and the feeling of him inside you.
“you okay, babygirl?”
“yeah, jakey. you can go deeper.”
slowly, jake pushes in as far as he can go, hips flush against yours. his cock is long, reaching places that haven’t been reached in a long time, but still…
“no,” you tremble, knowing it can be even better. “hold on.”
pushing his chest off of you a little to give more space, you lift your right leg and hook it around his shoulder, your other still firmly on the ground.
“okay, keep going.” you almost beg, desperate to be fucked into the wall.
“holy shit…” jake marvels, thrusting as deeply into you as he possibly can go, the new angle making his tip press into your cervix.
“oh my god!” he almost growls as his control slips from his grasp, hips gaining speed as he starts to pound into you. the rough quality of his previously sweet tone has you clenching, making him lose it even more. “you’re so fucking flexible.”
“m- m’a cheerleader.” is all you can manage to get out and explain when jake is fucking you so hard, making you feel so good. the slapping noises of jake’s thrusts and your wet pussy isn’t quiet, but you’re too cock drunk to worry about it, and jake is too lost in the way your needy cunt takes him so well.
“damn right, you are, baby.”
forcing your eyes to focus an jake’s intense gaze as he watches every one of your minute expressions, you see how his glasses rest lop sided on his face, releasing the grip you have on jake’s strong shoulders to fix them.
there’s a shift in jake’s eyes after you do this, and you’re beginning to feel as though he’s looking right through your skin and into your soul. then jake’s big hands wrap tightly around your back, stretching your leg further as you’re pressed flush against him and the wall. his rhythm turns erratic as your moans get louder, the hot air in the small space too thick for you to catch your breath.
“sweet girl, with an even sweeter little cunt, yeah?” he drawls, accent turning thicker as he licks into your mouth and presses sloppy kisses onto your lips in between words. “taking my cock like a champ, baby. taking me like a good girl.”
“please, jake. need to cum.” you cry weakly, looking up at him with glassy eyes.
“cum for me, sweetheart. make me all messy.”
you obey his words with a muffled cry as he cradles your head into his neck, trying to make sure no one hears your sounds of pleasure.
he tries his best to hold on long enough to fuck you through your high before he pulls out, fisting his own cock.
you don’t want to miss it, falling on your weak knees and opening your mouth to stick out your tongue, looking up at him and begging with your eyes for him to give it to you.
jake can’t even speak as his hands moves in a blur, the only cognitive thought in his mind how pretty you look kneeling for him, begging for his cum, before he’s unloading into your mouth.
you take it all, swallowing and leaning forward to suck on his tip like a lollipop after, licking him clean.
once jake is able to get himself together and your legs feel a little less like jello, who helps you stand and get dressed.
you laugh once you’re both fully clothed, watching jake clean his glasses lens with his shirt.
“what?” jake smiles tiredly, straightening his polo. “do i look normal?” and like we didn’t just fuck in the janitor’s closet?
“no,” you giggle, shaking your head as you reach up to comb through his very tousled hair. “okay, that’s better.”
“thank you.” jake smiles tenderly, making that funny feeling in your stomach present again before he presses a quick kiss to your lips. “i’ll text you, baby.”
“o-….okay…” you mumble, jake giggling as he thinks your dazed look is just because you’re still a little fucked dumb.
“you want me to slip out first?”
“um, yeah.” you answer, watching jake peek out the door before flashing you one more sweet smile before he’s out, shutting the door behind him.
you don’t know what you’re going to do.
(❤︎)
“dude, just ask her out already.” jay says as he lays down to spread out on jake’s bed like a star fish.
“i am!” jake insists, accepting that he’s probably not going to get anymore studying done when jay’s in his bedroom yapping away. shutting his laptop, jake swivels his desk chair around and quirks a brow at how jay lays on his bed like he owns it.
“then do it! what are you waiting for?”
“i just don’t want to overwhelm her, i think if i move too fast it’ll scare her. but…i think I’m gonna ask her tonight.”
jay sits up on his elbows. “you’re inviting her?” he asks, referring to the game night the boys were planning to have with heeseung at their place.
“yeah. i’ve already asked her, she says she can come after some cheer event she’s doing today.”
“wow…” jay sighs, now looking a little surprised as he processes.
“what?”
“i can’t believe you got a cheerleader girlfriend before me or heeseung.”
jake starts to be offended before he smirks, standing up from his chair and combing his hair out of his face.
“that’s because i’m sexy and smart. now take the L and help me clean up before she gets here.”
(❤︎)
it’s 8:00 pm when you finally get to jake and jay’s house, jake waiting for you by the door.
“hi, how was the event?”
“it was good. they had us outside all day but the weather wasn’t too warm.”
“good!” jake smiles as he opens the door for you and leads you to the living room. “ready to beat these guys in a game with me?”
“i really suck at video games, jake.” you laugh just as you walk into the room, seeing jay and heeseung sitting at the sofa.
jake sees heeseung’s eyes light up when he sees you, and jake feels a bit annoyed— then guilty. heeseung doesn’t know about you and jake, the australian not having time to tell him about your ‘thing’ before you showed up.
“hey, y/n! come sit.” jay invites.
you move to sit down on the couch, the only space available being next to heeseung. jake sits against your legs, his cuddly nature making you blush and feel a little self conscious while in front of everyone else, moving your legs to criss-cross them on the cushion instead.
something about being at their house with heeseung over again, in this room, makes you think about what you’ve been trying not to this entire time: what jake said.
do they all think you’re a player?
do they know about you and jake’s hookups?
if the answer is yes, then they probably also think you’re just with jake to get in his pants, to chew him up and spit him out.
but what do you really want?…and what…what does jake want?
you’ve felt off since the classroom incident, and you thought maybe hanging out casually would make you feel better, but it seems to only be making it worse.
“y/n?”
heeseung concerned voice snaps you out of your head and you look at him. he’s holding out a gaming controller for you, and you take it, the object feeling a bit big in your hands.
“here,” jake offers gently, turning around from his place on the floor as he positions your hands over the controller. “it’ll probably be easier for you to hold it like this.”
“thanks.” you say unconsciously soft, probably because of the proximity between you and jake’s faces.
he smiles that cute smile at you again, the one that makes his eyes sparkle, and you feel legitimately sick.
“do you want me to explain the game to you?” heeseung offers.
“i can,” jake starts to interrupt, but you stop him as you gesture for him to sit back down.
“it’s fine, jake. hee’s right here.”
you hope the excuse of heeseung sitting right next to you is a good enough excuse for why you don’t want jake coddling over you. you just…you can’t think clearly with him near right now.
once you start the multi player game and you go for a few rounds, heeseung starts getting kinda touchy with you. first letting his thighs touch yours, which is probably unconscious. the sofa is rather squishy and deep, it’s easy to sink into it— and thus, you. but then he starts smiling at you a lot and praising you whenever you do something right. you try not to encourage heeseung’s treatment while also ignoring how jake keeps turning to take peeks at you together.
very unexpectedly, you find a few advantage items and end up winning a round, heeseung throwing up his arms in excitement while jay loudly cheers.
“that was awesome, y/n!” heeseung says before wrapping you in an unexpected hug. you smile proudly at yourself, returning his quick hug.
“y/n and i will go get some drinks.” jake abruptly announces in a low tone before grabbing your arm and pulling you away from heeseung.
“jake. jake! why are you pulling me?” you say as he continues down the hall, not looking or speaking to you until you get to the kitchen.
“what was that?” he asks demandingly after spinning around to face you, eyes hard and looking at you angrily.
“what was what?”
“you and heeseung!”
“there is no me and heeseung, jake.” you sigh, rubbing your temples as you feel a headache coming on. this whole evening has honestly been nothing but stressful, and you’re starting to regret coming.
“well it sure looked like you were a thing…i thought we…”
he trails off and your heart full on stops, eyes wide as you stare at jake.
“you thought…what?” you ask, scared out of your mind.
“i like you.” jake says softly, looking up from the floor to gaze at you with hopeful eyes. “and i think…i think you like me too, right?”
you take a few deep breaths, brows furrowing as panic and fear take over the rational part of your brain.
“you sure you want to like the ‘typical dumb cheerleader’?” you air quote, jake’s face falling as your eyes already start to sting.
“oh my god, you heard that? baby, i’m so, so sorry. i-…i don’t think that now, i was being an asshole.”
despite how hard you try to keep them at bay, to blink them back, to keep the angry facade up— you can’t. your walls finally crumble down as you cry into your hands, letting the ache that’s been slowly growing in your heart over these past few weeks take over your whole chest.
“you- you don’t still think i’m a h- heartbr- break-“
you can’t even get a full sentence out between your crying and gasps of air, jake coming closer with open arms to wrap you in a hug, to squeeze you against his warm chest.
“no, no, no. sweet girl, oh my god.” he says almost like it’s to himself, before he’s culling your damp cheeks.
“c’mon, baby. look at me?” he coos sadly, and you do, putting aside your shame and lifting your face, watching his regretful eyes flit over your teary orbs and broken expression.
“i am so sorry that the harsh, untruthful words i said hurt you so badly, and i’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to apologize. i was legitimately an asshole to you and you didn’t deserve it. i had you pinned down in my head of who i thought you were and i treated you differently because of it, when i didn’t even bother getting to know you. and i’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
jake tries to wipe away the tears that slip down your cheeks as you try to calm down, still hurt but feeling better after his words.
“you- you don’t think i’m a bad person? because- because i honestly wouldn’t blame you if you did.” you dare to ask.
“no!” jake states firmly. “no, baby. you’re not and i don’t think that. i think you’re kind and generous. hardworking and smart. beautiful and funny and so, so easy to fall for.”
“jake…” you whisper, cheeks burning as you attempt to hide you face in his chest. but jake doesn’t let you, cupping your jaw in his palms as he nuzzles his nose against yours.
“do you like me, poms?” he whispers nervously, breath fanning over your lips as you feel like you’re about to drown from the depth of emotions he manages to hold in his eyes.
“i…i do, jake. i really, really like you.”
jake smiles, teeth biting at his bottom lip to try and contain it.
“but,” you’re quick to say when jake starts to lean in, halting his actions. “i…i need time…to think. i…”
“it’s okay, y/n. you don’t have to explain it to me. i’ll wait for you.” jake whispers, staring forlornly at your lips, but not moving. “even if you tell me not to, i’d still wait for you.”
your heart skips a beat and you pull away, afraid you’ll lose your resolve and dive into his kiss if you don’t.
“okay. i’ll…i’ll see you, jake.”
“see you, y/n.” jake smiles, but despite trying his best, it doesn’t make it to his eyes. you walk out of the kitchen before fleeing from his house, speeding to your dorm and collapsing onto your bed and bursting into sobs.
(❤︎)
3 days.
3 days, going on four, since you’ve spoken to jake. you know he’s trying really hard not to overwhelm you, to resist coming over and talking to you, but you still catch staring at you in class when he thinks you don’t notice.
you do.
you notice him, always.
you want to go to him, you miss him so much. but it’s feels like there’s chains of fear wrapped around your heart, weighing you down and tugging you away from him.
you’re walking across campus in the afternoon to go back to your dorm, feeling like a zombie like you have been since you last spoke to jake.
you run into something with stops your lazy, slow steps, looking up to see felix staring wide at you.
“oh, y/n! hey!”
“h-hi! sorry, lix.” you apologize for running into him, trying to sound at least half as chipper as him.
“that’s alright. so, jay told me about you and jake,” he implores in a teasing way, nudging your arm with his elbow as he smiles. “how’s that going?”
it takes you a few seconds to feel the pain in your heart at simply hearing his name before you start crying, felix almost flinching back in surprise as you try to wipe your tears away as quickly as they come.
“i’m- i’m so sorry, felix. i’m a mess right now.”
“hey, hey, it’s okay, y/n. why don’t we sit down and you can tell me about it.”
felix wraps a comforting arm around your shoulder and leads you to sit down at a nearby bench. taking a gentle hold of your hand, he encourages you to tell him what happened.
and you do, you tell him everything. from the very beginning to the very end.
“i just- i don’t know what to do, felix. i like him so much it scares me. i’ve never let- let somebody get this close to me this fast before.” you sniffle. “and i just- i can’t stop thinking about how much it would hurt this time, because- because i think if i let myself be with him, i’ll never want to leave.”
“oh, y/n.” felix sighs, pulling you in for a hug. “don’t you see? jake is an amazing guy, and you like him. which isn’t a reason to leave, it’s a reason to stay, to keep going and not give up. don’t you get it?”
he asks, looking you in the eyes as you feel his words click something into place in your brain. it isn’t a reason to leave, it’s why you should stay.
“don’t give him up, y/n.” felix urges softly. your heart squeezes with undeniable fondness, reaching forward to wrap the boy in a tight hug of your own.
“you’re right. thank you, felix.”
“it’s okay, y/n. go get your man.” he smiles genuinely.
“and felix?” you begin as you pull away to look him in the eyes.
“yeah?”
“i’m sorry, lixie.” you apologize, and he knows what for.
“i know, y/n.” felix’s voice wavers at the unexpected sentiment, but his sunshine disposition still remains. “i’m happy now. we’re okay. all is forgiven.”
you know it’s not a good enough apology despite his words, but you’ll find another time to properly say sorry, to give him the apology he deserves. but for now, you give him one more tight squeeze before running off to find jake.
he’s not working at the cafe today, all his classes are usually over by now and there’s no basketball practice for him to tag along to, so the only other place you can think to go look is his house.
when you messily park in the driveway and knock at the door, it’s a bewildered jay that answers.
“oh, y/n! he’s- jake’s walking layla right now.”
“do you know which direction he went?”
jay points and you take off down his neighborhood sidewalk, jay watching you disappear around a corner with his jaw slightly open in confusion, finger still raised, before he shrugs his shoulders and goes back inside with a mumbled little ‘whatever’ to himself.
your running turned to jogging, and now you’re sluggishly walking, your exhaustion and the sight of the sun setting making you lose hope as you stare down at your own feet that lazily step on the pavement.
what if jake doesn’t even want you anymore? did you already mess it up?
an echoed voice carries down the street and you lift your head, the tone of it sounding familiar. turning the corner one more time, your heart feels like it’s been brought back to life when you see jake and layla in the distance.
jake crouches in front of layla, the dog looking bored and tiredly panting as he raises his hand to scratch behind her ears, giving her a sad little smile.
“sorry, girl…i know. i miss her too.”
something tugs you forward, those heavy chains that were previously around your heart broken and unable to hold you back anymore.
“jake!” you call, jake looking up to your approaching figure.
“y/n?”
your slow steps turn to running when jake opens his arms, practically catching you with how you leap into his embrace.
“y/n?” he repeats, looking deep into your eyes like he can’t believe he’s feeling your smaller body in his arms right now, seeing you so up close again.
you wrap your arms around his neck and crash your lips into his, jake immediately kissing you back with just as much fever. your tongues lick into each other’s mouth like you haven’t tasted the other in ages, jake raising a hand to cup your cheek and press you impossible closer.
“jake,” you gasp in air after fighting to part from jake’s eager lips.
“sweetheart.” jake practically coos, eyes half-lidded and sounding love drunk as he spares you only a moment before he’s kissing you again.
“jake!” you pull away again, your attempt to sound scolding failing due to your little giggles that give your true emotions away. but how can you not when jake’s ticklish butterfly kisses are being peppered across your neck.
“let me talk!”
“hurry.” jake whines, pressing to more pecks to your lips.
“i- i wanna stay! i want to be with you.”
“i wanna be with you too, babygirl.” jake whispers fondly, staring into your eyes and how they capture the sunset’s shining rays. it’s the prettiest sunset he’s ever seen, viewing it in this way. “does this mean you’ll be mine?”
“i think i’ve been yours for a while already, jakey.”
jake’s like a kid at a candy store with your lips right in front of him. you’re unable to enjoy his absolutely gorgeous smile from your words for more than a second before his lips are attached to yours again, capturing you in another passionate kiss.
you whine into it, pushing at his chest much to jake’s displeasure.
“but i’m probably still gonna get scared sometimes.”
“i know, baby.”
a kiss.
“and- and i’m good at communicating but-“
another.
“sometimes i need encouragement.”
“i can do that, sweetheart.” he promises with another deep kiss. you push him away again.
“but, jake?”
he smiles with a defeated groan, leaning his head onto your shoulder before he looks at you.
“yeah, sweetie?”
“what if i…did try? to run away again.” you ask, not because you think you will, but because you want to know his answer.
he answers easily, like it’s a no brainer for him.
“then i’d chase after you every time.”
“…promise?”
“i promise.”
(❤︎)
jake doesn’t even take layla’s leash off when you bust through the front door, barely taking the time to shut it behind him before he’s picking you up, giggling at your adorable squeal and how your legs wrap around his waist without thinking.
you don’t even stop kissing as he blindly carries and maneuvers you around the house, feeling for his bedroom door knob with his one hand and opening it successfully.
he walks forward until he feels the frame of his bed against his shins and sets you down gently, finally detaching from your lips to gaze at you and how gorgeous you look laying in his bed, staring up at him with so much cb affection in your eyes that it has his cock twitching.
“what?” you smile, feeling a little squirmy under his gaze, but you remain still.
“nothing…you’re just so beautiful.”
your cheeks burn, biting at your smile as you move to take off your clothes. jake rushes to do the same, though it takes him a little longer as he has to stop every few moments to watch you strip.
you rub your thighs together with a moan as you see jake’s throbbing length, it’s pretty pink tip shining with his excitement.
“oh my god, baby. i don’t wanna go a day without you ever again. seeing you, talking to you, kissing you, fucking you. shit, m’gonna make you take my cock every day from now on.”
“please, jake, just put it in.” you whine, spreading open your legs and causing jake’s eyes to almost pop out of his skull.
“damn, baby.” he marvels, kneeling up on the bed as he comes closer to you, caressing his hands up and down your thighs as he stares at your pussy.
“jaaake, fuck me!”
“be patient, babygirl.” he warns with a small yet stinging slap to your thigh. “i will. but i gotta taste you first.”
he makes a spot for himself between your legs, laying on his belly before spreading open your pussy with his two, long fingers. clear slick webs between, jake shuddering out a heated ‘fuck’ before going in to lick it up with his tongue.
“oh god,” you whimper, raising your hands to your face, embarrassed by how wet you already are and how jake’s slurping every bit of it into his mouth.
“mmm,” jake hums disapprovingly, departing from your pussy only for a moment. “dont don’t do that. wanna watch my baby’s face while i eat her out.”
then jake goes back down to slowly push his tongue inside your entrance, your thighs twitching with the unexpected intrusion.
“j-jake!” you cry as he falls into a rhythm, rubbing your sopping clit while he fucks you with his tongue, big brown eyes staring you down as you find yourself unable to look away.
“o- oh, ffuck!”
your hands grip up the sheets into a fist, toes curling as jake’s incessant licking into your cunt and the perfect little circles he rubs into your clit makes you come more and more undone.
jake groans in pleasure at your own, the sound sending vibrations straight to your core and causing your entire body to flinch as you cry out.
“i- i think m’gonna cum already if you don’t stop, jake.” you whine, voice high pitched and unlike yourself.
the boy doesn’t stop. in fact, he goes deeper, curling the tip of his tongue into the spongy part of you.
you cum with a cry, legs trembling and squeezing around jake’s head as he happily cleans you up with his mouth.
“mmm, such a messy cunt, baby. taste so good.” jake sighs as he repositions to hover over you body, one hand stroking over his dick as he spreads your left over juices from his fingers across it.
he reaches across to his night stand, you presume to get out a condom.
“don’t. want- want you to fuck me raw, please? m’on the pill.”
“…holy shit.” jake murmurs, wide eyed.
he leans on his elbows, dipping closer to your face as you watch how his eyes roam over your every feature, taking in your beauty in the same way as you’re taking in his right now.
“my pretty girl, my good girl...” he gives you that smile that used to make you sick, but now it has butterflies in your stomach and your pussy clenching.
“mine.” jake whispers proudly, rubbing his nose against yours as he pushes inside of you slowly.
“how-“ you struggle, interrupted by your and jake’s moans as his dick is sucked in by your greedy cunt. “how do you talk so sweet when- when you’re doing bad things?”
jake just responds with an out of breath chuckle, bracing himself with a hand to your hip, groping and squeezing at your soft flesh.
as he starts thrusting into you, deep and slow, you feel like all the air has been knocked out of you.
you don’t know why, maybe it’s the angle or how he’s looking at you, maybe it’s because you just came or the emotional high of being reunited. all you know is that it only takes a few minutes for you to be trembling and whimpering into jake’s sheets as he fucks you dumb.
jake’s latched onto your tits— of course, moaning and whining as he slobbers all over your chest like your nipples taste like candy. and they might as well be, because to jake they’re that good.
“mmm, jakey, please. please. m’so close.”
jake is no better off than you, sweat glistening on his skin and his hips start to erratically buck into yours, his pants and your whimpers filling his bedroom.
“yeah, baby? my cock make you feel good?”
“y- yes!”
“y’gonna let me have this cunt every day, sweetheart? take my cum every day?”
“yes, baby, yes!” you either against the sheets, twisting your head to the side from the overwhelming pleasure as you try to hold back your oncoming orgasm, waiting for his permission. “gotta cum, jakey.”
“no, no, sweetie. gotta look at me first, babygirl.” he gently orders in a way that makes your stomach flip, holding your chin between his thumb and fingers before turning your head back to look at him. he brushes your hair out of your face, greeted with your glossy eyes and pouty lips, begging for him to have mercy.
“there she is. there’s my little girl.” he trembles out, biting his bottom lip and forcing his eyes to stay open and look at you, even as the pleasure gets too much. “look so cute while you’re falling apart on my cock.”
“pl-please…jake! need- need’ta-“
“let go, sweetheart. cum with me, baby.”
jake seals your lips with a kiss to suppress the cry you let out as you reach your highs together, trembling bodies holding out for as long as you can to ride out your orgasm.
jake collapses on the bed and cuddles you into his chest, hands brushing through your hair and making sure none of it is in your face.
jake’s phone dings with a text, and he leans over to pick it up. you watch his pretty, brown eyes as he reads the screen, before his lips quirk up in a smirk.
“what?” you ask.
“jay…he‘a asking if we’re done fucking yet.”
“oh my god!” you whine with embarrassment, burying your face into jake’s chest even further as he giggles.
“it’s okay. he said he figured he should put on some noise canceling headphones and make himself scarce when you came by looking for me.”
“still embarrassing…” you mumble, jake cupping your face to lift your head up and press a kiss to your forehead, then your lips.
“m’so glad you found me.” he confesses softly. you smile.
“i think we found each other.”
“mmm,” jake hums, resting his forehead against yours, looking at you like he can’t get enough of you. you’re sure you look the same.
“never gonna be able to go without my dumb little cheerleader girlfriend again.” he smiles teasingly, referencing to his previous harsh words he said about you.
it’s so funny how things can change when you really get to know someone. when you give them a chance.
“and i’m never gonna be able to go without my nerdy little boyfriend again.”
“hey,” he laughs, no real feelings other than happiness behind it. jake sits up on his elbows, caging you in to press a sweet, long kiss to your lips.
he pulls away just enough to be able to look into your eyes as he whispers.
“that was mean, pom-poms.”
you huff, shaking your head with a smile as your hands move to run through his hair, pulling him in for probably the hundredth and definitely not last kiss of the night.
“jerk.”
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note) wow, you made it through! i really hope you enjoyed reading my baby 😭
i tried to make reader a lovable character with layers that some might find relatable/comforting, and that she didn’t seem like a pick me. so i hope that came across. the subject of being afraid of emotional intimacy while at the same time desperately wanting it is something that i struggle with myself. also the anxiety of letting someone see you wholly for who you are, and them still loving you. it’s horrific and scary but beautiful if you only let yourself be vulnerable enough.
the reason i ended it with reader still having anxieties and even saying ‘what if i try to run away again’. is because it’s not happily ever after once you’ve found your person, and reader’s problems aren’t going to magically go away because she ‘got the guy’. she’ll keep learning and growing and making mistakes. but the difference is she has someone in her corner who will be with her through it. hence jake saying ‘then i’ll chase after you’.
at some points i thought the dialogue might seem cheesy, but this is based in the way that i/my friends talk and conversations that i’ve had. so…take that how you want. maybe me and my circle is cheesy lol.
pleaaassseee leave a review/ask/comment- whatever. as i said this is my baby and im curious to see whatever you have to say about this work, what it made you feel or think about, and also answer any questions!! i have these characters pretty fleshed out so i’d like to think i have the answers lol.
thank you again for reading!! — jaz
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