vanillablogging - Tumblr blog

vanillablogging · 6 months ago

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like you dont understand i stopped wearing my merch outside bc i dont wanna give him a bad rep

#.txt #vent #september 2024 #i am extremely serious

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vanillablogging · 6 months ago

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i know its not normal i am very aware but i miss him. i dont even know what the root of this issue is. i find myself suicidal and seeking relief in drugs a lot nowadays

#.txt #vent #id never actually harm myself.#but.#i do use weed and alcohol to try and numb it. it doesnt even fucking work. bullshit.#september 2024

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vanillablogging · 6 months ago

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vanilla radio

youtube

#.txt #vent #september 2024 #derealization #depersonalization #Youtube

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vanillablogging · 6 months ago

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#i dont think ive ever been inside #september 2024 #i treat my body and my life like a sim.#im a fucking sim. lol.

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vanillablogging · 6 months ago

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#im not religious but lord do i have religious ocd. so have fun.#religionposting

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vanillablogging · 6 months ago

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i always have the idiotic need to be a leader and it sucks like girl. when all i really want is to be liked and taken care of. sucks.

#.txt #august 2024 #actuallydivine #vent #whatever im drunk i should sleep

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vanillablogging · 6 months ago

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genuinely above all i just wish he was happy. it would be more than tolerable if he was smiling and giggling every weekend. but hes fucking miserable too.

suicidal and becoming an alcoholic over a sport. again. lol.

#.txt #it shouldnt matter but it does matter and no one gets it #august 2024

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vanillablogging · 6 months ago

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i don’t even feel like a person i feel like i’m always someone just observing humanity if that makes sense.

#.txt #august 2024 #probably mental illness #angelkin #actuallydivine

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vanillablogging · 6 months ago

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suicidal and becoming an alcoholic over a sport. again. lol.

#.txt #august 2024 #vent #actuallyocd #it isnt even funny tbh #i get it this sport got me out of anorexia which is basically a form of ocd #so now when it fails me ofc itll send me into another mh crisis. of fucking course.#anyway every time i see him sad i want to hurt myself. i dont. im smarter than that. but i want to.#i fucking hate this season i wish it was over already.

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vanillablogging · 7 months ago

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i feel like a good big chunk of me loves the sun and summer and the beach and lush forests more than anything — but right now i crave snow. i want to be snowed in. 🌨️

#.txt #july 2024 #sure this relates to my current issues somehow

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vanillablogging · 7 months ago

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There are secrets between us that I’ll take to my grave. I hope you’d do the same for me.

#angel #july 2024

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vanillablogging · 7 months ago

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derealization AND hallucinations for the first time in my life? awesome! /s

#.txt #july 2024 #vent #oh my lord….

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vanillablogging · 7 months ago

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today was awful once again.

#.txt #july 2024 #fork found in the kitchen im aware lol #genuinely tho im so fucking done

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vanillablogging · 8 months ago

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#angel #july 2024

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vanillablogging · 8 months ago

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i want someone to tend to my wings. i want someone to preen them as i lay down, sickly. i want to protect someone with them, and i want to cover myself up fully with them.

please give me back my wings.

#.txt #july 2024 #angelkin

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vanillablogging · 8 months ago

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i feel so disgusted with myself. i dont think this feeling will ever end.

#july 2024 #.txt #thats a lie. it will. but i wont deserve it

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vanillablogging · 8 months ago

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hearing people talk positively of [redacted] and feeling my heart breaking because i am not allowed to.

#.txt #july 2024 #💔

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