vanicanela18 - Tumblr blog

[vanicanela18]

Let’s be free together!

[vanicanela18]

[vanicanela18]

They got you under pressure, doing overtime 🎶

[vanicanela18]

Kalim's tsum vignette was fun (I lost my mind multiple times)

[vanicanela18]

what if?

I just know they'd get along in childhood. Voices in my head told me that.

Oasis Maker V.S. The King's Roar.

I am impressed how Leona and Kalim are polar opposites in everything, even in signature spells. Like life and death. As Oasis Maker brings life with its water to the lifeless sands, so King's Roar takes the life away from any being it touches by turning it into the sand.

Anyway - besties. Though I believe Jamil would still try to avoid Leona because of his noble birth.

[vanicanela18]

bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word

I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.

(I'm sorry)

[vanicanela18]

did a lil thing with haixindhua from insta! they're buddies your honor (full silliness here)

[vanicanela18]

I noticed an interesting little consistency with the Platinum Jacket suits for all the characters! Every dorm has a little pin that's placed on their outfit and it's representative of the dorm they belong to, but not only that, but every dorm places the pin in the exact same location AND they style scarf that goes along with their outfit in the exact same way for every dorm member! A good thing to recognize if you want to draw one of your OC dorm members in the outfit!

Grim doesn't have a scarf or a pin to go along with his outfit, so if you have a Ramshackle OC this allows you full freedom to style the scarf accessory and make the pin whatever you'd like! 😊

[vanicanela18]

Yuulma… that is all 🥺

[vanicanela18]

I am a(n):

⚪ Male

⚪ Female

🔘 Writer

Looking for

⚪ Boyfriend

⚪ Girlfriend

🔘 An incredibly specific word that I can't remember

[vanicanela18]

Is it possible to make a post with a chart of characters who have nicknames. I sometimes can’t tell who Floyd and Rook are talking about especially when they’re referring to someone not in the scene.

Yes! Here are the Nicknames Floyd and Rook give everyone.

A few notes:

All of the first years and short/cute characters like Riddle, Vil, Silver and Lilia, are addressed with "chan," all other students are "kun," except for the third-year Housewardens (Leona, Vil, Idia, and Malleus) who he addresses as "senpai."

Fan translations have also used "Remora" for Ruggie and "Flapjack Octopus" for Lilia. Both are accurate alternate names for the name that EN chose.

A majority of Rook's nicknames carry over well from JP to EN, but a few are just different enough that are worth pointing out.

Ruggie's is more or less the same, but Rook calls him using the Japanese term "tanpopo" for dandelion, instead of calling him something in French which is why I've kept them separate.

Similarly, Jade and Floyd's are given kanji with no French "pronounciation." While Jade's is almost a 1:1 localization, Floyd's is a bit more difficult. His nickname in Japanese more or less means "someone who takes delight in seeing how other people react to their decisions."

Jamil's was changed from Multi (meaning he has a veritable bounty of abilities) in JP to Pyramide in EN, a very drastic change compared to the others.

Ortho was originally Monsieur Marionette, but after Chapter 6, Rook calls him Monsieur Wonder. Wonder is spoken aloud, but his kanji is "miracle." Rook sees what happened to Ortho as something miraculous and wonderful, which is all thanks to their brotherly bond.

[vanicanela18]

Twisted wonderland birthday broomquet series ✧

[vanicanela18]

※ミド友捏造

[vanicanela18]

resources for staying safe online

always important, but i feel like especially recently. particularly stuff that’s a bit more than just the usual “don’t post personal info”

feel free to share this post on twitter or anywhere else, staying safe is important

justdeleteme.xyz - direct links to delete accounts

how a photo’s hidden exif data exposes your personal information

have i been pwned? - check if your accounts have been compromised in a data breach. CHANGE ANY ACCOUNT THAT USES THE SAME EMAIL AND PASSWORD

online harassment field manual

form for removing personal information from google (for the eu), see also: “remove your personal information from google”

extreme privacy: what it takes to disappear (personal data removal workbook)

filter lists for ublock origin, and more

restore privacy - online privacy resources center

privacytools.io

online spyware watchdog

how secure is your password?

defensive computing checklist

cloudflare dns

non-technical tips on staying anonymous

webrtc leak shield - chrome, firefox

web safety tutorials by the electronic frontier foundation

crash override network - resources for victims of doxing and online harassment

[vanicanela18]

thoughts on Jamil Viper and self-respect

This is a bit of an introspective post/analysis/character study on Jamil, born out of some rambles I rained upon a friend last night after watching this video, where the author made a couple of comments that caught my attention on regards to Jamil (the video is non-twst related though). I believe they are things that have always been there, but I finally put a name to them and weaved my thoughts into words. Hopefully it will be readable, even if this still keeps a bit of the ramble-y nature of my original messages to my friend. One of the things mentioned in the video (regarding a character, the video is an essay on Spider-Man: No Way Home) that struck me were these lines:

You have to believe in yourself enough to know your capability and show off when required and use the best parts of you. Servitude requires, yes, humility, but it also requires your self-esteem.

(...)

If you don't recognise your own value, you can't offer your value. By hating yourself, you're doing a bad job of serving others.

I was a bit baffled to say the least. I paused the video, wrote the sentences and chewed them a little in my mind. I momentarily scrapped aside Jamil's own desire of seeing the world and his own dislike of it in order to reflect on the words.

Jamil has this thing where he's very prideful and egocentric, that’s just part of his character (and not entirely undeserved, as he’s indeed very smart and capable). He feeds his own ego by constantly reassuring himself of his value, his power, his intelligence, yet on the meantime he constantly craves for approval, praise and recognition from others. His perceived chains come from the way he was raised, in which his position is tied to the way he can show himself to the world. Jamil is not an insecure person per se but he ultimately wants to prove something. He wants to be praised and adored, and such things he has associated not to himself as a person but to his position in society, which is why he also craves a higher social standing (the entire master thing with the parrot for example, because master=power, and that means he has value enough to show off).

In essence, he doesn't value himself not because he doesn't believe he's capable but because he doesn't have enough self-respect to himself, his family, their job. Not only since it's something he doesn't like, but because he's been raised with the idea that he's inferior just because he has to bow down to someone else. 

"Servitude requires humility, but it also requires your self-esteem". In other words, it’s knowing you're still capable and worthy of respect and praise. And the funny thing is that this idea that he matters less wasn't even hammered down by the Asims, it was just Jamil's parents trying to curb down their slightly-too-prideful son (in their perception) so they wouldn’t fall out of favour. They obviously did a horrendous job at it though, while also perpetuating in Jamil's mind that they're worth nothing because they're servants.

To be clear: I am not saying this is Jamil’s fault. This is a consequence of his environment and the society around him, added to his own personality which tunnel vissions on this (value=power). In the end, Jamil's insecurity is less about not believing in his capabilities and more of just believing himself unworthy because of his position, which is why he never tries his best at anything and bends under the pressure of underperforming. Yet he hungers for that praise and approval, of being in the spotlight, while simultaneously running away from it. It's heartbreaking but a self-made hell as well, because...

No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light.

(quoted from the video)

Jamil never realises that Kalim has always been aware of his capabilities. Since Kalim doesn't have Jamil's bias (his insecurity, let's call it, his perhaps surprising lack of self-respect), he always lifts him up and naturally praises him. He lights a lamp (Jamil) so others can see its light! But since it comes from Kalim himself, Jamil resents him as he only sees the social ladder and not Kalim as an individual. And of course, this is because of Jamil's deeply-rooted beliefs, his upbringing, the way it is obvious he lacks Kalim's privilege. But this impossibility of ridding himself of this insecurity is what holds him back in the first place, and what makes him hold Kalim back as well (by not letting him do things by himself).

(Slight Episode 6 spoilers ahead)

This is why Leona says, "at least try your best and struggle". The harsh truth is that by hating himself (the place he was born in, the value of his profession, his true goals) Jamil has never been able to do his best at anything. He has to believe in himself enough to show off when required and use the best parts of himself! And when learning this, he can do the same for others! He can step back and also recognise when he's not needed, to let go of that tight grasp he has in the urge of controlling everything, because it's the only thing that not only makes him feel like having some control of his life but the closest he can get to a position of power (in his eyes).

This also reflects in Jamil's Unique Magic, which by itself is a reflection of a mage's soul. Gratuitious Jafar reference aside, it says a lot about Jamil as well. (paraphrased) "Look into my eyes and tell me, who is your master?" Jamil's long-sought dream; the sad reality of it all is that being called "master", even being the "master", won't bring him any of the reassurance he so yearns for.

In the end, what was what Jamil wanted in Episode Four? Ultimately, he wanted the seat of dorm leader for himself, this power he so covets, what will make him great and finally let him spread his wings, a taste of freedom before it all comes crashing down once he graduates. But... he doesn't have to do that.

Jamil is valid to not want to take on the job of a servant, much less when he's a child himself, but he's not worth inherently less just because he has to bow down to someone else. And I think that's what Leona ends telling him in Episode 6, "you're not worth less if you know your limits and know when to step back. You're not worth less if you lack privileges when you are born. Struggle, fight with all your might: that's what shows that you are worth just as much as others." That's why Leona points out Ruggie, Azul and Riddle, who have all had their fair share of struggles, but have tried ways of making up for them, and ultimately either know their worth or are on their way there. Sebek is also a great Jamil foil: although they're both servants, Sebek takes a lot of pride on his position. He doesn't believe he is worth less for serving Malleus, but more. His actual struggle comes from him as an individual (being half-fae), not his status as a servant.

Ultimately, to keep walking forward and finally find his path, I think this is the conclusion he must learn: Jamil has value as himself. He has value as just Jamil. The servant boy. The one who doesn't want to continue the work of his family. The one who wants to travel the world, and live his life on his own terms. Power won't give him the self-respect and self-esteem he so longs for.

And I think this is the road he begins to walk by the end of his arc on Episode 6, little by little. Stepping back and recognising Leona’s superior magical prowess, but that there’s nothing wrong with weakness. Starting to see Kalim more as his own person, and letting him do things on his own (which will also kickstart Kalim’s own arc, but that’s worth another post). And at last, truly letting himself do his best, speaking out his desires and accept that there’s nothing inherently wrong with the work he and his parents do (as evidenced by his Broomquet Birthday PS), even if he doesn’t want his future to be like that.

In the end, there's no such thing as an useless oil lamp. Even if it's not flashy, not golden and incapable of granting wishes, it can always give you light.

[vanicanela18]

Oh dear. I often forget to upload my works here on Tumblr, and I don't use it a lot, but I genuinely adore your art and analyses on Scarabia, so this was an incredibly happy surprise! Both from the anon (thank you so much for recommending my work? 😭) and from you. Your words are the highest compliment and they mean the world, truly.

I read your post this morning and yet I'm still a little flustered now. Again, thank you for your kind and sweet words, I'm very glad you liked it! I don't know what else to say, but I hope this is enough to convey my gratefulness for such detailed commentary akskska <3

hi!! first real quick i just wanted to say i love your art so much! your artstyle is so cute and expressive and your comics are so fun to read. all of your Kalim and Jamil art and stuff has definitely made me appreciate them way way more, like they were already great and ur comics only made me like them more, so thank you for all the awesome works!! idk how you feel about random anon fic reqs, but since your like the Jamil and Kalim person i thought it wouldnt hurt to pass on knowledge about this one fic. It’s called “twinkle, twinkle, little star” by vanicanela thats about Najma and also features like her relationship with Jamil and Kalim and its just so good and well written! if you do decide to check it out i hope you enjoy it! thats all i had to say, thanks for reading and have a nice day :D!!

I actually meant to respond to this a lot sooner I'm so sorry I've been so busy moving 😭

But THANK YOU SO MUCH?? 😭😭 Honestly so many people send me the sweetest things and they always make me so emotional, I just hang on to them in my inbox

But as far as the fic goes- YES I've actually read that before and it's genuinely very good imo

It's a really interesting way to explore Najma as a character that exists in a way that's parallel to Jamil and to think about the differences between them and the roles they've been given in life in conjunction to their family, the Asim family, and their own differing hopes and dreams

I've talked here before about how despite us not knowing much about Najma as the audience, you can only assume that she helps out the Asim family in a more general way then Jamil does with how he's more of a personal retainer for Kalim then anything else, while the Viper family outside of him are more of just esteemed servants. So while there are definitely pressures she's endured from this she doesn't hold the heavy weight that Jamil has been made to endure as the first born son who's literally taking care of and accompanying the Asim heir

But the direction the fic goes in is genuinely so good?? Idk it's a really good exploration of Najma and how she could exist- as well as just having some really great scenes exploring her relationship with Jamil and how Kalim would regard her as a person

Here's a link for anyone who's interested in checking it out!

I'm definitely always open for fanfic reqs because I haven't been reading a lot of them as of late outside of the occassional one I come across lmao

[vanicanela18]

Friendly reminder that this blog is pro-choice and if you don’t think everyone should have full control of their own body, then kindly unfollow me right now and go to hell