vampivc
starlight and star-crossed
14K posts
ivy / all pronouns / bi / 20 / i like to drink water
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vampivc · 10 minutes ago
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variations on "feel old yet" meme:
lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago
lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago
lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago
lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago
real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago
real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago
event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago
event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago
event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago
real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago
lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago
lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago
real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago
reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years
reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years
reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years
reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years
reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years
reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes
real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago
lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago
reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow
reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes
real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago
lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago
lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago
making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago
technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago
threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days
non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar
non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire
lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago
self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago
giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\
i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?
declarative statement: you feel old.
subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.
reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.
reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago
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vampivc · 31 minutes ago
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coastal oregon, february 2024
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vampivc · 22 hours ago
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okay ill concede to the liberals that I dont think kamala harris would have put elon musk in charge of a government department called doge.
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vampivc · 2 days ago
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eat an entire can of sweetened condensed milk. you deserve it.
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vampivc · 2 days ago
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let the contemporary record show mr beast was pretty ignorable for his whole career if you were just like, busy.
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vampivc · 2 days ago
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My mans been acting up lately. Should I get pregnant with him and abort the baby as protest?
im at work
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vampivc · 2 days ago
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vampivc · 2 days ago
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PayPal and Venmo
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vampivc · 3 days ago
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Ji Sook Jung (born in 1987). Korean
Animal in the Wind (2014)
Clay
37 x 21 x 30 cm, 15 x 8 x 12 in approx
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vampivc · 4 days ago
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Howdy folks, the Senate will be considering the first ever resolution blocking arms to Israel. This is huge and historic; it would block government contracting and about $20 billion in arms and support. This is an uphill battle, PLEASE urge your senators to support S.J.Res114-115. This is maybe the most important piece of legislation relating to Palestine that we have ever gotten and we must seize this opportunity.
This doc has information on the resolutions and their process, as well as sample messages and a phone script you can use. Please, use this moment to hear witness for your neighbors.
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vampivc · 4 days ago
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My fucking cat has figured out how to gently dig his claws into my eyelid and pull my eyes open while I'm sleeping. He does this. It does not hurt. He is remarkably precise and gentle. I however am asleep when it happens and do not appreciate being clockwork oranged by a needy clingy goddamn animal who thinks he needs attention.
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vampivc · 7 days ago
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all of my pacman comics
#?!
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vampivc · 7 days ago
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will never stop being funny actually. they straight up are just not listening to him at all.
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vampivc · 7 days ago
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been browsing through the images in the steam files for disco elysium and holy mother of dolores is this image perfection
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vampivc · 8 days ago
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can y’all start using your fucking brains maybe and instead of saying “well i hope florida just dies in the next hurricane lol” try to maybe understand that the population of florida is overwhelmingly comprised of impoverished black brown and queer people who have their throats under the boot of the white christian fascists suppressing our votes and gerrymandering our counties and districts and starving us and putting our people in prison
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vampivc · 8 days ago
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something you can do today is donate to an abortion fund in florida and to an abortion fund in south dakota since abortion rights measures failed there. you can find one to donate to in one of those states here: https://abortionfunds.org/find-a-fund/
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vampivc · 8 days ago
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i am angry. and i'm upset and hurt and disappointed and reeling etc. and i have my own personal feelings about what people have or have not been advocating for over the last few months leading up to this but i'm not sure any of it matters right now and i'm not sure why everyone is so ready to turn on each other. it seems pretty obvious right now that the problem wasn't third party voters or even people who abstained. it wasn't harris's stance on palestine/israel (in either direction). it wasn't the cheney endorsement. it wasn't anything related to her policies one way or another or anything we've all been arguing about for months now. none of it even fucking mattered, based on the numbers.
it's not a secret that this country hates women and loves white supremacy. i'm not going to make it easier for them to get rid of me, or you. i refuse to hold a knife to the throats of the people who are ultimately on my side, just because we might disagree about how to accomplish something. i am going to link arms with you and we're going to move forward together. we're going to do our daily clicks for palestine. we're going to donate e-sims and to pcrf. we're going to donate to ukraine. and abortion funds. we're going to continue helping with the border crisis. and trying to unfuck the climate. and whatever else we need to. we're going to get organized and we're not going to wait until the next election cycle to do it. we are also going to make sure we sign up for healthcare and take care of ourselves.
there are a billion things we need to do (and feel free to add links and resources to this post if you want to pass them on) but i'm simply not going to waste my energy fighting with people who aren't trying to kill me when so many others want me dead.
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