vampireapologist-archive

[vampireapologist-archive]

I think a lot about who I am to other people in the world–particular who I am to strangers as a mere concept in their lives.

Today this woman called our information desk and said, “my son��s band is playing tonight. I want to come see him, but he never answers his phone…..I want to be there. Have you heard anything about his band?”

And I felt so bad for this lady but I’m not in the music scene around here so I had to tell her no, sorry.

Five hours later, I’m hiking and run into a group of guys setting up for some outdoor performance, and as I watch them unload the drums it hits me.

“Hey,” I said, “are y’all in a band?”

They said yeah and smiled and I told them “one of your moms called today. She wants to watch you play, but she can’t get a hold of you. Call your mom.”

And they all pulled out their phones and started discussing whose mom it probably was as they presumably dialed their own.

And now, unless we meet again and recognize each other, that’s who I’ll be forever to those guys–some mysterious courier for mom-messages who came out of the woods and told them their mom called.

I didn’t even tell them why their mom called me. Who am I to their mom?? Nobody even asked. They just took my word for it and called their mothers.

Amazing.

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my mom’s in the kitchen vaguely trying to sing my chemical romance but really just winging it

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drake?

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Hey. Uh. Mallaidh Anne is back. Same url and everything. I just found out today, and figured you might want to know.

I did find out recently that he has returned to the original url. It feels a bit strange to run this blog with him back on the same website, like I'm talking about him behind his back, but he has not reached out to ask me to stop nor have I been able to get into contact with him.

For now I will continue running the blog the same way I always have—it is simply dedicated to archiving old posts from the deleted blog, and nothing more. We are nothing more than two ships in the night who are flying the same flag 🏴‍☠️

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wait do those tin can phones really work?? I thought this was all a myth.

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okay this reminded me of the strongest human being (I use that label with some reservation) I have ever met and I still think about him like once a week because about 4 years ago on Thanksgiving night my sister, cousin, and I were going to pick up a friend about a 40 minute drive from home, and I got lost and tried to turn around on a little gravel pull-off on the side of the road, but my front tires got stuck in the snow.

we were in the middle of nowhere with no cell reception, and the only sign of life was a single, completely dark house across the road from us.

We all did our best to push the car out, and we’re strong people, but we couldn’t make it budge. Cold and stuck, we climbed back and wondered what to do. A car full of men pulled over beside us and asked if we needed help, but getting out of our locked car on a backroad at night with strange men felt like a bad idea, so we said a tow was coming and waved them along. We did that twice before finally deciding our only option was to accept the next offer for help and just risk it,

when a man came out of the house across the street.

He’d clearly been watching us and figured out why we’d been lying to people, which really surprised me & he said “it’s okay, you can stay in your car and keep the doors locked. Just start backing up when I say so.”

I had the window cracked and told him “it’s too stuck. There’s no way we’re getting out. Could you call a tow?”

And he said “just back up when I say so.”

So he walked around the front of the car, squatted, and said “okay back up,”

and I did, and

he lifted

the front of the car Into The Air. Off its front wheels, and we backed up while he essentially wheel-barrowed us back onto the road.

And we were honest to god yelling. We couldn’t help it. We just yelled until all four wheels were back on the ground and he was waving us off while we thanked him.

And then I looked at my sister and cousin & said “he REALLY told us we can KEEP our doors locked as if THAT WOULD’VE FUCKING STOPPED HIM!!!! As if he couldn’t have just RIPPED EM OFF THE HINGES.”

I later looked up the weight of my car, and it’s 3200 pounds without anything or anyone in it.

This haunts me.

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idk if I’ve posted about this before but by far the strangest things that’s happened to me in retail was the time someone’s total came out to my birth-year and I said “hey! that’s the year I was born!” and then the next customer’s total came out to like $12.57 and just bc I’m a weirdo I said “hey! that’s the year I was born!” and without missing a fucking beat this like, 70+ year old man said

“Ah! Another like me! We’re few and far between these days, aren’t we?”

And I was like oh man this guy’s sense of humor really aligns with mine! And I laughed and made some other joke about being immortal and thought that was the end of it,

but this man.

He stood by the register for five more minutes. Maybe more. Which let me tell you is an EXCRUTIATING amount of time for something like this to happen.

And he just kept upping the ante!! He starting talking about some REALLY specific details regarding day-to-day life in the 1300s to the point I started getting worried that I’d misled a genuinely immortal being to believe I am also immortal.

He eventually politely left when I got too busy with other customers to awkwardly respond.

Who the fuck was that guy.

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best job I ever had was manually removing aquatic plants from like, golf course ponds. I started out wearing waders, but the plants would be in too deep, so I just started wearing a bathing suit and water shoes and diving down under and just pulling cattails and stuff out by the roots. The thing was, when I’d first get started, the vegetation might be so thick it took up most of the pond, and I’d start in the deepest section so as I got tired I could move toward shore and start standing instead of swimming.

So I’d dive in and virtually disappear into the reeds

and it wasn’t until recently I thought about how many random tourists just saw some girl walk into an aesthetics pond in a swimsuit and dive under water and then just……….Not come back out

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So I'm not quite sure whether you know this or not, so I thought to tell you, The Internet Archive has some stuff from vampireapologist saved, including the post that was scheduled for apparently March 31st of this year? There are some pictures of how she's doing in Alaska too.

This is a link to the archive where you can see some of her last few posts, in case you're interested:

https://web.archive.org/web/20230629142056/https://vampireapologist.tumblr.com/

This is the final snapshot before the decision to delete her blog, not sure how far back it goes, but it definitely has a decent amount of posts:

https://web.archive.org/web/20210319195610/https://vampireapologist.tumblr.com/

Hope this helps!!!

Ah, thank you so much!! I don't know how I never thought to use the wayback machine! I'll have to check it out later tonight when I'm off work, thank you!!

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not to dredge up old wounds and sound bitter but when I was 17 my dad died in a house fire and the very next week we had a huge geometry test I hadn’t studied for because of the whole House Fire Dead Dad situation so the extremely kind kid sitting next to me let me cheat from his test since the answers were multiple choice, but I was SO stressed about the whole House Fire Dead Dad situation I didn’t even notice we had different tests.

My teacher handed them back the next day with an obvious zero written on mine, and when I started crying in class he told me that’s what I get for cheating, in front of everyone.

Most things from my teenagehood I have let go, but if I ever run into this man in a grocery store I 100% will ask him what is problem was.

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one time i was on an old street in glasgow and i made a loud joke about vampires and as i did this beautiful man with long hair on the other side of the street made direct eye contact with me and then ten minutes later he walked by again and looked at me and I still count that on my list of the five closest times I’ve ever come to dying

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Thanks for this public service. Do you know what she's doing these days? I might have some of her poems and posts screenshotted, I'll look for them (can't promise anything)

Hi, thank you for your kind message!

Unfortunately I do not know much about Mallaidh Anne or her personal life. As far as I know, the story behind her disappearance from the website is that she simply grew out of Tumblr and moved on with her life in a different direction, but if anyone knows anything more I would be happy to hear it in the notes of this post. I was a fan of her blog all through my high school and university years and I was heartbroken when she left, so when the old archive blog was deactivated, I created this one.

As for old content of hers, it would be amazing if you were able to find anything to contribute! That goes for anybody—I accept more than just reblogs of old posts, I'll accept screenshots, quotes, even just recollections of old posts of hers.

Thank you!

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wait I have another “scary” story that’s actually just something else inexplicable that was tbh pretty sweet

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so weird 2 me when I talk about colleges of agriculture and ppl are like “lmao you can go to school for farmingggggg hahaha” bc they don’t see agriculture as a science as if farmers weren’t the original engineers, botanists, geneticists, chemists, biologists, veterinarians, etc. etc.

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THANK YOU

You're welcome! I'm glad so many of you share a similar passion for Mallaidh Anne's old posts! And if you happen to find one out in the wild, please never feel afraid to tag me, it'll be great to add to the archive!

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It’s literally impossible for you to make yourself known to everyone you meet. Some people will just get the wrong impression about you and you have to let it go.

I was walking down the street with my brother on a hot day on our way into a bookstore and I said “I hate the sun. It’s too hot. Name ONE reason we need the sun. Literally I can’t think of a single reason why we can’t just figure out a way to block it”

And a guy turned and looked at me with the most dumbfounded and horrified expression Id seen since the last time someone looked at me like that (about a week before) and then turned to the girl with him and they both looked mistified in the worst way.

They really thought I don’t know what the sun’s for.

I could’ve told them I work in environmental science but I was having a conversation with my brother.

Those two people think that’s the day they overheard probably the stupidest thing any human being has ever loudly said in a bookstore.

That’s fine.

I know I know what the sun’s for.

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