valerieisunavailable

[valerieisunavailable]

NauseAxe_404 x Reader

🔞MDNI 🔞 Past this point

You and Sir Knight have talked with each other here and there, although neither of you had really sat down and had an actual one-on-one conversation with each other, mainly due to the fact that Nick was absolutely obsessed over you and everything about you.

He had, on multiple occasions, begged, pleaded, asked, and even demanded that you stay and live with him. Even though you liked his company, you also liked the idea of having your own room, even if the two of you were living together. And well, not all of the hotel rooms seemed habitable except the main four. And.. being stuck with him in a single room would drive you nuts. But he never really did understand the concept of any kind of personal space.

But every time you would tell him that you were going to come over, when you did eventually get there, he’d get all jealous and angry if he ever caught Sir Knight talking with you. That’s why after another one of your visits with Nick, you had carefully made it back into the hotel room and correlated with Sir Knight about scheduling a time to come and talk with each other without Nick’s knowledge.

Tonight, it was around midnight. You decided that meeting during the nighttime was better instead of the daytime so that Nick likely would be in his room and not walking around the hotel and more alert. You had a messed up sleep schedule anyways, so it didn’t really matter. Carefully opening the front door to the hotel, you made sure to be extra quiet so as not to cause any unwanted noise that may alert Nick. You knew that Nick didn’t sleep, but you figured that he’d be inside of his room for the majority of the night, and less alert.

Slowly opening the door of Sir Knight’s room labeled 004, you walk inside and slowly and carefully close the door. “Knight?” You whisper, looking around. You whisper his name again, but only a little bit louder, before you start to see a mist of thick purple smoke, followed by armor organizing itself and starting to take shape. Then, there in front of you, you see Sir Knight.

“Greetings, Y/N.” He says softly.

You didn’t exactly know what the relationship between you and Sir Knight was. When you had first met him, he seemed uninterested, and rather annoyed with you, calling you a vermin and a heretic. But after pulling out a sword, he started worshipping you and bowing down on one knee for you, calling you ‘Master‘ whenever you would visit or talk with him, or even when he would just see you in the hallway. Now, he thinks that you're his Master.

Your mind goes back to the reality at hand, and why you had come here so late in the first place. Yet with how loud he was talking, Nick would definitely be able to hear you if you two weren’t careful..

“Shh!” You say frantically, scared that Nick will hear you two talking.

“Right, I suppose that we don’t want him coming over here and causing a scene.” He replies, his tone quieter.

The last thing that either of you wanted was for him to come barging in here like a wild animal, threatening Sir Knight for even being in the same room as you. Or that he had you in his room, for that matter.

   “So, um.. I don’t exactly know how your relationship is with Nick, but.. he said that you make palmiers..? You ask.

“But of course, Master. Any knight has many skills besides just war and sword-fighting. I also bake on occasion.” Sir Knight voices pridefully.

A knight that’s into baking… You can’t exactly say that you expected him to be into baking, but.. When you start to think about it, it does start to make sense. All knights had to have some other sort of hobby, especially during those times. So baking isn’t necessarily out of the question. Some knights were also blacksmiths and armorers during those ages.

   “But.. aren’t palmiers.. A French pastry? If you’re a knight, then… Are you from France?”

“No.” He says bluntly. “I just like baking them. His tone then goes back to his cheerful one. “But I could always bake some for you if you’d like, Master.” He gleamed.

   “Well, I definitely wouldn’t mi-” You were about to say, before being interrupted by Sir Knight’s door barging open. The two of you both turn your head towards the door, only to see Nick with an annoyed expression.

“Who are you t–” Nick says, before pausing and looking over at you.

“S-Superstar…? Wh-What are.. You doing here.. with him…?” He asks, confused and upset. Nick then looks over at Sir Knight, before a loud growl escapes his throat.

“You.” He snarls, lunging towards him with his axe.

You just stand there, not knowing what to do. You know that the situation is getting tense, but how exactly were you supposed to stop a guy with an axe in his hand?

Nick’s axe swings down directly across Sir Knight’s armor with a clunk. His armor was made of scrap, after all. So it wasn’t any surprise that the metal axe was chipping it to pieces. Sir Knight lets out an offended gasp.

“My armor!! How dare y–” He yells.

   “FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR ARMOR.” Nick snarls, hitting him again with another swing of his axe. Beneath his armor, you can see a thick purple fog seeping out.

You panic, grabbing Nick’s waist and wrapping your arms around him in a hug from behind.

“Nick, stop!!” You yell, trying to hold him back.

   “HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TALK TO MY SUPERSTAR, ESPECIALLY ALL SECRETIVE LIKE THIS!” He screams, lifting his axe again. His anger is mixed with maniacal laughter and heavy breathing.

“NICK!!” You yell again.

Nick pauses, his axe still in mid-air. He turns around, looking behind him to meet your gaze.

“It wasn’t his fault, I-I was the one who asked to meet up with him.” You say, before walking in between Nick and Sir Knight.

   “What…? B-But Superstar, why…?” Nick asks you. “Why..why..why?! Why would you want to come here without telling me..? And.. talk to him..?” He asks you.

   “Maybe because my Master wants nothing to do with the likes of you.” Sir Knight answers.

Nick turns his head, glaring bullets at Sir Knight.

“You. You probably coaxed her into this, didn’t you?!” He roars.

But before Nick can raise his axe again and swing at Sir Knight’s armor, Sir Knight disappears into a purple fog, before being gone into thin air. Nick breathes heavily, before looking back over at you.

   “There, ahah.. He’s finally gone. Now… It’s just me and you, my Superstar.” He says, although there’s an edge to his voice.

Nick then puts his axe away into his backpack, before grabbing you and happily carrying you over into his room, closing the door behind him.

“There, now that you’re back with me, where you belong… you can show me all your stories that you're working on! The ones you haven’t posted yet and only I get to see…” He says excitedly, holding your hand.

You pull your hand back, pushing him away. “No! You’ve ruined everything, Nick! All I was trying to do was have a conversation with him without you getting in the way! You’re the absolute worst!” You yell in a fit of anger. But as you see his expression, you start to feel guilty. Tears start forming in his eye, sniffling.

“S-Superstar, you.. You don’t actually.. M-mean that, do you…? I-I’m sorry, just.. The thought of you talking with anyone else, it.. It drives me.. CRAZY.” He says through cries.

   “I don’t want.. My Superstar… to be mad at me…”

You let out a soft sigh, before walking over to him and giving him a hug. He looks down at you, sniffling.

   “I’m not mad at you, Nick.. I just think that you overreact to certain things. Me and Sir Knight were just trying to have a conversation. You didn’t need to yell and attack him like that.” You say, rubbing his back soothingly.

“I..I’m sorry, Superstar. Please…. Let me make it up to you. I’ll do anything.” he begs, holding your hand tighter

You think about some ideas on how he could make this up to you. He had always been so obsessive over you that it was actually starting to drive you nuts. He needed to learn not to always swing his axe and yell at other people when you wanted to talk with them. And the only way you would be able to do that is by taking away his favorite things that you did for him.

 “Well first off, I’m not going to update my blog or share any of my writings with you for a few days.” You say, knowing that would affect him.

Nick’s eyes widened, before immediately sinking down to his knees in front of you.

   “N-No, please! Superstar! I-I love your writings m-more than anything! P-Please don’t stop writing for me..Please–”

“And I’ll have to punish you for acting out like that and attacking Sir Knight.” You continue. Nick pauses.

   “Wha–” He says, staring at you in surprise.

Without even letting him being able to comprehend what all you were about to do, you order him to get over on the bed. He complied, making his way over to the bed and laying down. You then grab some heavy-weighted chains with giant cuffs of them, originally used for military tanks and explosive machinery. You clamp one side of the chains onto the bedframe, before clamping the other side of the chains to Nick’s arms, positioning them over his head, before wrapping the chains around his arms and tying them in a tight knot. You then grab two more sets of chains, clamping one of the sides to the end of the bedframe, before using the other ends to restrain his legs, wrapping the extra chain length over his legs and thighs, making a giant knot in the chains.

Nick looks over at you with uneasiness. “S-Superstar, what do you plan on doing..?” He asks. “Why a-are you.. tying me up..?” He says, his voice shaky. Normally, he would be excited for something like this. But seeing as to how mad you were with him, and you tying him down with heavy weighted chains, he couldn’t help but feel the anxiety rising in his chest.

You scoot down, straddling his thighs, before starting to unbutton his jeans and pulling his underwear down. Nick gasps, his eyes fixated on you. Once you start slowly stroking his cock, he leans his head back, letting out a moan that fades into a whine.

   "Superstar..."He whines, his thighs and arms restraining against the chains. "P-Please, Superstar.." He gasps.

"S-Superstar..." His breath hitches. "Please, go faster Superstar.." he begs, still restraining against the chains.

You increase your pace, watching as he quivers and hitches his breath. He's still struggling to free himself, although the weighted chains hold him down. You keep a firm grip on his cock, using your thumb to rub against the tip of his cock. Spitting down on his cock for lubricant, you increase your pace even more, feeling him twitch and pulse in your hand.

   "Oh, Superstar... That feels amazing.. P-Please, don't stop..." He moans, his arms above his head still desperately pulling and shaking the chains that kept him restrained.

And with that, you release a hold on his cock. You were surprised to see it standing straight up already. Nick lets out a shuddering breath, raising his head and looking down at you. He gives you a pleading look. You can tell that he's irritated, but without any way of getting out of this heavy weighted cuffs, he's stuck where he is.

"No, no..Superstar, please..PLEASE don't stop.." He begs, bucking his hips up to try and make some friction, but letting out a whine when all he feels is the air. "P-Please, keep doing that.. stroking me like that.. It feels incredible. Please... I'll do w-whatever you want, I'll behave, I'll do better for you, be better for you... I'll try not to yell or axe those you talk with you..." he promises.

You use a finger to go along the length of his cock, causing him to shiver. You continue to tease him, using the tip of your finger to tease the tip of his cock. He lets out a whine, desperately resisting and fighting against the restraints.

   "S-Superstar, please.. I-I don't think I can handle anymore of this t-teasing..." he begs.

You let out a smirk, using your hand to slowly start stroking him again at a moderate pace. Nick bites his lip, letting out a moan. "Yes.. Yes, please Superstar.. That feels amazing.." he says, bucking his hips up to cause more friction. "Oh, fuck... I'll be good for you, I'll behave.. I promise. I promise, Superstar... Just for you.." he moans.

As you increase your pace, his moans get louder and quicker. His breathing is heavy and a few maniacal laugh escape him, but they are weaker than his usual laughs that you hear. Nick's eyes are drunk with lust, seemingly lost on Cloud Nine right now. He's just desperately bucking his hips, trying to get himself even closer to the edge.

"G-Gonna cum, Superstar.. G-Gonna..." He says, his breaths getting quicker and more heavier. But right as he was on the edge you release his cock from your grip. He lets out a groan, his thighs violently quivering and shaking. "P-PLEASE SUPERSTAR, YOU'RE SO CRUEL..! P-PLEASE, I CAN"T TAKE THIS! I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST MAKE ME CUM, PLEASE!!" He begs, tears forming in his eyes again. "Please, PLEASE MAKE ME CUM, PLEASE!!"

"Well, I suppose I could... That is, if you're fine with me not updating my blogs as much, or not showing you any of my unfinished writings for a while..." You tease.

Nick lets out a whine, obviously not wanting to be tortured like this, but he also wanted to keep reading your blogs and getting to read your unfinished stories before you posted them. It's what kept him living. You were his entire life, after all. Not being able to have your blogs or writings would mentally break him. He's rather experience the worst torture in the world then have to go through that. And what made it better was that you were the one who was torturing him. He lets out a defeated whine, his legs shifting and moving against the weighted chains.

"And maybe I could just stop visiting you in this hotel..." You add. That caused him to lose it.

"No, No, NO! D-Don't leave, Superstar, please! PLEASE don't leave! I'll let you torture me all you want as punishment, just keep visiting me and talking with me, keep updating your blogs and sharing your writings with me, please! Please, I'll survive any torture as long as I get to see you and read your works!" He pleads.

   You smirk, watching as he pleads for you to stay with him. You continue to tease him, going back to stroking him at an agonizingly slow pace. "You know, now that I think about it, I know someone that I really like, that I've thought about talking to and going on a date with..." You teased.

Nick is absolutely losing his mind, thinking of you talking to anyone else besides him and anyone else dating you. He couldn't take it. "NO, N-No! Superstar, please! PLEASE stay with me!" He begs. He continues to write and buck his hips for any sort of friction. After a few moments, he lets out a strangled moan from his dry orgasm, feeling the ecstasy and the intense sensation of an orgasm without actually cumming.

"OH, YOU'RE SO CRUEL, SUPERSTAR! S-SO CRUEL...." He screams as he feels his orgasm hitting him, but still not able to actually cum.

You let out a devilish smirk, before drooling on his cock, using it as a lubricant before you start stroking him again at a rapid pace. He didn't even have time to recover from his recent orgasm. His moans were loud and strangled, his legs and arms continuing to struggle and fight against the chains, yet still not being able to get out of the restraints. His moans turned into more desperate whines as you continued to stroke him, him already feeling another orgasm hitting him. But this time, he was actually able to cum, feeling the relief of ejaculation and emptying himself. Nick lets out a loud whimper, his legs violently shaking from the intensity of his orgasm.

But even as he cums again, you don't stop, keeping the rapid stroking pace. At this point, his tongue was sticking out, completely overstimulated from all the sensations and the orgasms that he was feeling. He looked so cute like this, so desperate. So horny for your touch. His mind went completely blank, only being able to feel the intense pleasure as you continued to torture him.

[valerieisunavailable]

Hey op this is such a great twist.

Help because I’ve just had a Nikto idea that will not spare any mercy.

You married young as a foreign student, after a passionate and intense love affair swept you off your feet.

His name was Igor Yurievich, handsome as they come but he was in and out of your life like water. You were scarcely married a year before he was declared MIA, presumed KIA. Widowed before your marital life could begin.

So you move on, consider yourself older and wiser. No longer silly enough to get hitched on a whim.

But your husband has never moved on…though he now is known by a different name. You wouldn’t recognise him, but Nikto would know you anywhere.

[valerieisunavailable]

Requests: Open | Boundaries | Fandoms | Masterlist

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⭐ ABOUT ME ⭐: wip

[valerieisunavailable]

Masterlist: 🔞

Call of Duty:

Who You Belong To | Simon Riley x Reader

Vibrating Piercings pt.1 | Simon Riley x Reader

Vibrating Piercings pt.2 | Simon Riley x Reader

Ghost x Inexperienced Reader

Drunk Night Home | König x Reader

König x Reader

König x Inexperienced Reader

Price x Older Reader

Call of Duty Bots

Creepypasta:

WIP

Monster x Mediator:

WIP

[valerieisunavailable]

this has reduced me to tears

[valerieisunavailable]

On a Mace craze rn.

Mace would definitely be one of those people who would have a remote controlled vibrator on you, especially in public places.

You could go out and about your day while he was on a mission hunting a target, and then you'd be reminded of him, feeling those vibrations against your now puffy and swollen clit.

You could be on a date with him, at a nice restaurant, and he'd turn it on to see your reactions, controlling the speed and vibrations with the small remote control in his hand, seeing if you could wait until the end of your meal to cum.

You two could be at home, watching a movie, and he'd tease you with that vibrator. Sometimes it would be on a low setting, the two of you just watching the movie, the faint hum to be heard from it. Other times, he'd put it on the highest setting waiting until you were at the very edge, only to turn the vibrations down.

Then he'd have his way and fuck the absolute shit out of you with his cock.

[valerieisunavailable]

ghost fucking himself dumb with your pussy while he sucks on your fingers, shoved knuckle-deep between his pink, swollen lips. bucking his hips unrhythmically, nothing but needy, and with hearts in his eyes as he stares down at your pretty, pliant body.

his poor dick throbs surrounded by your tight warmth, his harsh grip on your hips minute to the way he’s relentlessly rubbing up against that sweet spot in you.

he’s already filled you up once and he’s barreling towards another high in the matter of seconds, evident with the sweat slicking his biceps, the heavy rise and fall of his chest in short intervals, even his lesser-controlled noises that spill out around your digits. there’s no such thing as a ‘quickie’ with this man; he can’t help but always press past one round, especially after you ask him so, so nicely for more.

jaw slacking as his abs pull taut with the pressure building in his tummy, eyes fluttering shut on their own volition, posture lurching forward above you when he spills his cum deep inside you. grinding himself through his high, sloppy as ever, and you’ve never felt more satisfied as you take in his every expression.

he’s grown obsessed with the feeling of having his mouth stuffed full. allowing himself to turn utterly light-headed and brain-dead around you, to touch and fuck you unsophisticatedly, and without a worry in the slightest.

[valerieisunavailable]

Ghost who gauges how his day will go by the three C’s: Cunt, Cum, and the morning Cigarette. And in that order. His morning isn’t complete without his tongue buried deep in you, your bloody everything flooding his senses, and him licking away the remnants of your orgasm from his bottom lip before nursing his morning smoke.

Makes the rest of the day that much fuckin’ better if he can get all three, luv. And in that order.

[valerieisunavailable]

You had broken up with Simon a few years ago. He's still stubborn about it, but whatever.

I think the fact that you had gotten together with Mace of all people is what really sent him in a boiling rage. Mace is the one person that Simon couldn't stand.

He didn't want you to have another boyfriend at all, especially not like this. But he'd rather have you date one of his soldiers in the task force. Hell, even Johnny. But just not Mace.

Once Mace found out that Simon was your ex, he'd make sure to drill it in Simon's head that he was now dating-- and fucking, his ex. He'll get into the dirty details, too. About how he pounds into her so much better than he did.

"As if she'd ev'r replace me with you. You ain't even half as good as her." Simon would grumble.

"Oh? Is that why she calls me Daddy? Did she ever call you that, Simon? Didn't think so."

Also sorry I haven't been active. College has started back up.

[valerieisunavailable]

Ayo this goes hard

i dont know you at all

[valerieisunavailable]

w h a t.

[valerieisunavailable]

Imagine Single Dad König having to be gone for like a month or more from his daughter because of a mission. He absolutely doesn't trust any babysitters because of his role in the military, and because he just doesn't trust a random person with his Liebling in the first place. But he doesn't have anyone to watch her. So he has her being watched by someone in the barracks.

Cue the soldiers goofing off with her and getting her into shenanigans, and then König goes into a fit of rage. He had strict rules for his soldiers with his daughter while he was gone, and they didn't follow them. "What do you mean, she was in the armory?! I thought I specifically told you to not let her inside any of those rooms. Only the hallways and dorms." And if she was injured in the slightest, no matter how minor, he would kill that soldier.

[valerieisunavailable]

Single!Dad König with a daughter (inspo from @konigsblog). His kleines Mädchen would be his absolute weakness. His favorite thing would be to come back home from a long day at work or come home from a mission and just cuddle them and ask how their day was, what they did, etc., before the two of them fell asleep on the couch.

But he'd also be very protective of her, of course. König would be one of the most paranoid fathers out there. With a young child, he would bring her everywhere except the barracks, just so he could keep an eye on her. Teenager daughter he would still be calling her and asking if he was alright almost every five minutes, whether it was just a normal day at work or if he was on a mission far away, he'd still call you.

[valerieisunavailable]

Simon x Inexperienced!Reader

cw: age difference, age play, overstim, mentions of oral s*x and v*ginal s*x, v*brator, older rough dom simon w/ inexperienced reader.

🔞 MDNI 🔞

Yes, Simon was a little bit older than you, around 20 years older than you. He was pessimistic, gloomy, sarcastic, made dark jokes, and overall just a bit of an asshole at first glance. The average person wouldn't ever think of him. Especially not wanting to get involved with his military life.

But, you had to admit, that he was better than your so called peers, who were immature and only ever thought of sex as the only benefit of a woman. Not to mention how inexperienced they were at... Well, everything.

But since Simon was older, he had more experience and generally more respect towards women. He says that he hasn't really ever dated much, which you believe. I mean, the average person probably wouldn't touch him with a six foot pole. But that still didn't explain how he was so good at eating you out. Maybe his tactical experience? Simon was very technical and literal with his tactics. Whatever it was, it always felt incredible. Being with him was the first time yet not the last that you've been overstimulated.

"That's right, push my face deeper into this wet cunt. Show me how good it feels." He would muffle in between mouthfuls. The way he would skillfully hit all the right places with his tongue, sucking and licking continuously, with kisses to your clit and down your nether lips. All the while curling his fingers inside of you, gradually entering a second and sometimes a third finger that would perfectly hit that spongy cervix of yours. The way he would groan as he heard you coming undone before him, with you screaming his name. But he wouldn't stop there. He doesn't stop until you're a whimpering and mewling mess for him. Not until you're able to feel this for days to come.

When he would fuck you with his absolutely thick and large cock of his, he'd always have your legs at a 90 degree angle. "Better be ready for me, love." He would say, before rolling his hips and absolutely pounding so pleasurably deep into you. You could always see the outline of his cock through your stomach. Simon would then push down on that imprint on your stomach, somehow managing to fuck you even deeper. When you came undone before him, he would only roll his hips and pump into you even faster. It was as if it was a competition for him. Even when he would feel his own climax hitting him, he wouldn't stop. He had the endurance to go for five rounds before breaking a sweat. But he still wouldn't stop. Not until you could feel this for days to come. He knows this will make up for when he's on deployments, only for him to fuck You again when he returns.

Simon's a bit of an old fashioned person, so he doesn't want you using any toys. "This dick is the only thing you'll ever need." He would growl. The first time he found one of your vibrators, he put it on your clit while he fucked you. Sometimes he'll do it for fun because he knows that it makes you absolutely squeal and writhe with pleasure. He might be a bit stern, but at least he isn't like your peers. And oh does he know a way to a woman's pussy.

[valerieisunavailable]

(Credit to 661ave on Tumblr for pic.)

König x Inexperienced!Reader

🔞 MDNI 🔞

cw: age difference, age play, oral s*x, older bf König w/ inexperienced reader, fi*gering, v*ginal s*x.

At first, you were nervous about having an older boyfriend. You've just never dated anyone who was twenty years older than you... König was in his 40's. But then again, all the other people your age seemed immature. You've been dumped for not being enough, for not letting people use you like they wanted. But also, when the time finally came, they didn't ever know what they were doing, and just fucked. There was no pleasure for you, they were focused on themselves. And they never gave you any aftercare, either. It was always just "hey guys I have a girlfriend" that they pretended to care about.

Although König was older, he was also different from the rest of the guys you've met. He was gentler, and focused on your pleasure just as much as his own. He enjoyed things, taking it slow. Plus, he knew what he was doing. He knew how to hit you in all the right spots. The way he knew the different ways of pleasuring the both of you. You didn't even know that you could cum by him just using his tongue. He knew all the right places to lick and suck your clit and between your folds, he knew just the right way to curl his fingers and hit that right spot inside your spongy, wet cervix. When he was intimate with you like this, including when he would slide his cock inside you, he always made sure to stop and passionately kiss you. He would always take the time to cherish the other parts of your body, gently squeezing your breasts while he used his tongue on you or fucked you.

He was even patient with how inexperienced you were with pleasuring a man. He was gentle and guided you, teaching how to give him a handjob and all the right places to hit. "Jetzt, just rub your hands along the tip... Ja, just like that... Oh, that feels amazing, meine liebe..." He would encourage you. He would even make you take your time with him. There would be times where you'd stroke him too fast too soon. "Nein.. there's no rush, liebe... Go slower..." He would say.

Even when you eventually started learning how to give him a proper blowjob, he would feel you choking on his thick cock from you trying to force your way deeper. "Take your time.. don't force it, meine liebe... You're doing so well.." König liked to savor these moments and enjoy his time with you. That's what made you love him so much. He was just so caring and gentle with you.

[valerieisunavailable]

Yes it be Pride Month, but y'all are misunderstood if you think canon Simon wouldn't be confused.

Now don't get me wrong. Gay? Lesbian? Straight? Bisexual? Asexual? Sure, he doesn't mind. Hell, he'll even make some funny jokes.

But this man would absolutely NOT understand non-binary, trans, or other genders. It's not that he wouldn't approve, necessarily... He's just old, and doesn't know what the fuck you're talking about. You'd have to explain it in detail to him.

"Look, y/n... You're a great soldier. A good team. But what do you mean you're nonbinary? What is that? Wh-- Don't identify with having a gender?? Y/n what the fuck are you on about?"

This man would be so bewildered. Canon Simon wouldn't be prepared.

I feel like Gaz and Keegan would be the ones who understand and approve the most. They don't have a problem with it. I feel like Gaz would thank you for coming out to him. Keegan would just be like. "Whatever works for you, kid." Soap would also be just as confused, but would try to be more accepting and understanding than Simon.

Now don't even bring Price and König into this. These men are far too old to understand this. These poor Australian and Austrian men.... 😭🙏

[valerieisunavailable]

Woo Pride!

Also, for those about to complain, I know that canonically they're just really good friends, leave me alone.