valeriefairbairn - Tumblr blog

[valeriefairbairn]

peace out

Since I left kind of all of a sudden, I want to sort of explain why I'm leaving beside half of you are probably really confused as to why I'm quitting.

Firstly, I just feel like this group is too immature for what my writing has become. I'm not saying you're immature or downing on your writing abilities, but if I write 3 paragraphs, I sort of expect 3 paragraphs back. It's not that I don't like your abilities, but mine have grown and I feel uncomfortable here now.

Secondly, I don't feel comfortable in the group anymore. When I post a starter which is in character, cos let's face it, Valerie can be a bitch, but when I feel like she's being attacked, it makes me uncomfortable. I know not everyone is going to like my characters, I get that. My character is a bit of a honest bitch sometimes and even I hate her, but when someone goes out of their way to reply with a pointless ass reply that I can't reply back to, then I feel like she's being attacked. And the person who's done this knows what I'm talking about.

Thirdly, I feel like I'm only here because I'm forced to be here. Yeah I was friends with the admins before joining. But now I don't even talk to any of them except one. And you know what, that's okay. I don't give a shit anymore because real friends are there at 3am to talk about random shit for no apparent reasons. I'm super tired of being here for nothing anymore and there's no reason for me to continue to stay when I feel like I don't belong.

So thanks, but bye. I don't really care about anything anymore.

[valeriefairbairn]

I'm not judging you, I'm just... not in the mood to deal with you.

[valeriefairbairn]

"I don't socialize," she shrugged. "I watch people." Valerie looked at Edward and nodded. "You can't change the past, only the future. I just hope people don't realize that soon. Acting rashly won't help either."

Keep it together, will you?

"Sounds like a productive use of social time," Edward said dryly. "Well, you’re right about that. It won’t change anything. And if you ask me, it just makes things worse."

[valeriefairbairn]

I don't agree that we need to be spreading that information around. If we're going to beat these people, then they need to think we're not the enemies. Besides, what good will fighting the people do, if they just hurt everyone who speaks out? I just believe that we need to be a united front rather than a-- broken mass.

Just... make sure you're doing what's best for you and with the right intentions.

Yeah, well, people should be allowed to act however they want to, as long as it’s not jeopardizing anybody else’s safety, like you said yourself; and crying isn’t going to do that, but I’ve heard people going around saying very openly that they want to bring these people down or whatever. They need to shut up and make sure we all stay alive.

Okay… I need to leave though.

[valeriefairbairn]

Valerie had learned not to care what other people thought about her. If she did care, she knew that she wouldn't have survived a day on her own. Because of the way she was, she'd learned to survive and that meant that she was going to act a certain way. "No, I know that hurting people is never the answer." She was speaking the truth. She did know that hurting people were never the answer. "Yeah, I mean, I'm far enough ahead, that I don't mind another class. My break was just... studying, that so I suppose it was alright." She shrugged at that. "Of course. I try to be as honest as I can with people, even if my advice is sort of... not what you want to hear. It's just good to hear that the school is united as one. Even if we all have our differences." She bit her lip. "I've never... really felt safe my entire life, but I do here. Even with those people here. I feel like whatever their plans are, we're strong enough to beat them. Hogwarts will fight back, and I'm confident in that fact."

"Well, as long as it helps you then what other people think about it shouldn’t matter either. But I definitely won’t judge you for how you deal with any of this, as long as no one gets hurt in the process." She nodded. "At least you’ll be ahead this semester and I’m sure you’ll be able to handle it. French is a beautiful language too. Did you have a nice break?" Rebekah smiled at Valerie. "Thank you. That means a lot, and I’m always here if you want to talk, too. And I don’t think we’re the only ones who feel that way, so hopefully if anything else happens we can all stick together and solve it as a family." She sighed. "I felt safe, even after what happened to the Minister, because McGonagall was still here, but now I feel like everything is falling apart. Hopefully I’m wrong though. But we’ll just have to see." 

[valeriefairbairn]

Valerie laughed. "I don't... really care for the holiday season. So any bit of distraction from... people is better than pretending that people care about me." She shrugged. "Well, it was break, so it's probably good if you enjoyed your time." She nodded, like she knew what Justine was talking about, but the last time she'd spend time with her family for the holidays was when she was eight and she had all her friends. Valerie didn't count her father as family anymore. "Ah, well sounds like a normal holiday then," she chuckled.

"Know any good lullabies?"

[valeriefairbairn]

You can't be like Binns and be alive, Ethan. That's completely missing the point of being like Binns.

Emotional states are stupid. That's what gets people into trouble. Distractions aren't always helpful, but I think in this case they are. Besides we ought to get closer to these people.

Anyone interested in the new classes?

[valeriefairbairn]

"I hope they don't teach us that because I'm pretty sure you can get something out of anyone if you try hard enough. Pull on their heartstrings a little and everyone falls apart." She was speaking from experience. "I don't think anyone will forget who the enemies are," Valerie muttered. "Nothing really. That's the problem is that most of the things I do I'm interested in. But thanks for the vote of confidence. A lot of people don't... well, they don't like me. But you'll do great things too, Briana."

Anyone interested in the new classes?

[valeriefairbairn]

Valerie had sort of given up on the perfect holiday the moment that she realized she had no family anymore. She stayed at Hogwarts during the break in order to be at home for the holidays. "Suppose. I mean, I studied and bragged a few of the professors to give me homework. That's all I rally did," she shrugged. "What about you? Had to have been better than mine."

"Know any good lullabies?"

[valeriefairbairn]

No. I don't think you'd be more lively as Binns when you're dead.

Being sad doesn't bring people back. Being angry gets the revenge on the people that caused the thing you're upset about. Classes are always a great distraction.

Anyone interested in the new classes?

[valeriefairbairn]

"Yeah. I'm curious to see how they're going to teach and what's going to change around here. Getting close to the right people just might make it easier for us to figure out what the weak spot is. This is my home, and those people invaded it. I'll always remember who the enemy is," Valerie said calmly. "That's good! I am too. I mean, I studied all break, I might as well keep up that now. At least you know what you want to do. I have no idea what I want to do."

Anyone interested in the new classes?

[valeriefairbairn]

"Eh, that's your call. This is the most social I've been in the past two months and I'll I've done is get into an argument and tell people crying isn't the answer." Valerie blinked. "That crying does no good. It won't change what happened."

Keep it together, will you?

I’d probably be better off if I got away from everyone. [He shrugged.] What unpopular opinion is that, then?

[valeriefairbairn]

I got two A's, that's not acceptable for me. So I needed to take the break. I... don't know what I'd do without books. I don't know who'd I'd be. You're right, there's a lot of stuff around here to drive us crazy, but... at the same time... I don't really know what not studying would do to me. I feel like I wouldn't be me.

Anyone interested in the new classes?

Isn’t the point of break to actually… Take a break? You should try it sometime. An education is very important, obviously, but so is sanity. I think there’s enough happening here to drive us crazy.

[valeriefairbairn]

Eh, not really, but I'm sure there's some place we can go that we can't hear everyone's cries. I agree though, reacting like this is not going to make things better. I'm sure no one really knows how to react to something like this. I feel like we share an unpopular opinion on the matter at hand.

Keep it together, will you?

I don’t think I can put a silencing charm on everyone that’s crying. Besides, it’s not so much that it bothers me as it is that everyone reacting like this is only going to make things worse.

[valeriefairbairn]

Again she nodded her head. "I don't think people understand my methods of coping, but I don't really care. But yes, we should all just take one day at a time. Learn to formulate our own ways of being who we are because not everyone is going to react to news the same way." Valerie let out a sigh. "Yeah, I probably wouldn't had I not spent the entire break studying for the classes I have this year, but I bothered a few of the professors to give me some extra work to do for the break so I'd be ready for the rest of the year. I'm confident in my ability to juggle them," Valerie smiled, before adding, "at least I hope." She agreed that Hogwarts was her home. "Well, just know that if you do feel upset you always have me to talk to. Because I feel like my home has been invaded and I want to protect it in anyway I can. I don't feel safe here, but that's a feeling I've gotten used to."

"To each their own, there’s nothing wrong with coping the way that’s best for you, that’s why I think everyone should just take things one day at a time now, whether they’re sad, angry, or just indifferent. I don’t think that’s a bad idea, and I guess getting on her good side could always help, I just can’t really see myself changing classes halfway through the year. But I would love to hear how French goes if you do decide to add it." She returned her smile, feeling a little better. "It’s my home too, I don’t know what I would do without it. That’s why I’m so upset, and everything is just so up in the air at the moment, it’s frightening. And to be honest, I don’t feel safe here anymore like I always have. Two people I’ve looked up to since first year are gone now because of the people taking over… It’s just going to be hard to get past."

[valeriefairbairn]

That's the whole reason I'm taking the class to begin with, because I want to see how the changes are going to be made. I'm here to get an education and have the best chance at finding a job when I leave here. So what matters to me is my education. I wouldn't take on another class unless I felt it was something I could do well in. I spend all break studying, in fact I only left my room twice. I can see where other people are coming from by concentrating on their only classes now though. It's been a stressful year so far. But in the end it's the education that's what matters most and figuring out your limits.

Anyone interested in the new classes?

I guess that’s what makes me feel so iffy… Not actually did poorly in Apparition and yet most of the class failed. I’m not ruining my grades more by adding another class I can’t pass.

[valeriefairbairn]

"You should just stop wasting your time with talking to me in the first place," Valerie said to her. At this point she couldn't give two fucks. No matter what she said, Rory was going to think what she wanted to think about Valerie. Which she didn't really care about to begin with.

Anyone interested in the new classes?