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as much as i Hated cringeduos relationship pre atlas, i do respect that derap does genuinely care abt pangi deeply. like idk if people realize that the reason derap was so upset at subz was specifically bc he killed pangi.

like zam may have been unsettled by subz suddenly killing a peaceful player in front of him in general idk, but for derap i am almost certain that he was upset bc subz killed pangi specifically bc i garuntee u he wouldnt have cared even a bit if it was like kab, 4c, woogie, jepexx, etc unless zam showed he cared. in fact, caring for pangi is the only thing derap seems to be firm on and smt he wont change regardless of zams opinion on the matter bc pangi is one of the very few people he wants to protect on the server

one of his biggest reasons for not wanting to team w pangi was bc he knows pangi is a peaceful player who doesnt want to fight, so he didnt want to drag pangi into conflicts that would only end up w him suffering or dying for simply being associated w derap. he seemed to completely stop trusting ash, one of two people he called a day 1, the Moment he found out ash tried to kill pangi. like yes the trust was already faltering bc ash lied to him for no reason but he still wanted to talk to him and figure things out before making his decision but that went out the window when he found out abt the pangi thing.

and like as weird as it was of derap to invite pangi (repeatedly btw) to zaun despite already agreeing w zam that they wouldnt be inviting anyone and to lie saying he never invited pangi, it wasnt solely to make mapicc look bad or to make zaun look better. its also bc he is dogshit at communicating his own desires and needs, and i dont think he Wanted to admit that he disagreed w zam. that he wanted to invite pangi to zaun, that he WANTS pangi to be w him. to be with them.

which is like, it ties into deraps deeper issues w insecurity and struggles w direct communication despite scolding zam for his struggles w it bc he acts like he is selfish nd that he has these expectations of zam but he always puts zams opinions and wants above his own at the end of the day. always. if he had ASKED, if he'd just talked to zam and expressed how much it meant to him to have pangi at zaun, zam would have been fine w it!! he doesnt seem aware of just how close derap is w pangi past knowing pangi is one of three people derap trusts entirely, but he cares for derap and i think he wouldve accepted it if derap truly expressed that he wants pangi there.

but he didnt. he lied. bc hes scared to ask for what he wants, hes scared that asking for anything from zam in a direct way will drive him away and w him already feeling like he cant possibly have a place next to zam when zam already has someone he seems to want by his side, hes doing what he thinks he "needs" to in order to stay w zam as long as he can even if he feels like zam leaving him is inevitable.

and honestly i can only see this being solved if zam is able to notice and talk abt it w him bc derap will never do it himself. even before zam and atlas, his manipulative and unfair way of treating pangi was a result of his own refusal to communicate bc him requiring pangi to prove himself trustworthy time and time again in increasingly drastic ways was him wanting to continue clinging to pangi but struggling to do so w his paranoia, trust issues, and general insecurity. bc no!! asking someone for hearts to prove their trust is Not communication. confronting them and accusing them of not caring abt u nd making them prove their care so many times before u believe they actually do is not communcation 😭

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ngl i just dont agree w the narrative that flame being loyal makes him a "bitch". i feel like his deep sense of loyalty to mane. pentar. and mapicc (for as long as their interests align). is just a key part of his character— he has his own beliefs and personal rules but his MORALS are based around loyalty and thats why he is so easy to follow and fight for others. bc he will return what his teammates/allies give to Him to the best of his abilities. i also feel like his uncertainty on who exactly he is or what he wants to do plays into why people like derap would see him this way since his own uncertainty w himself is something others note as well, and its something that influences their perspective on him

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i do think theres something to be said abt the fact that mapicc has been upset bc he feels abandoned by the empire and by zam, bc he feels like zam used him until he got a new team, and bc minute being on two hearts means the entire empire is entirely reliant on him to be the strong one.

and how mapicc is now working very closely w flame. who would never need him to fight, doesnt intend on ever being his teammate or relying on him for anything, and who seems to be willing to help him w HIS ideas without expecting anything in return so long as their interests align. like idk i dont even think he conciously sought this type of relationship out but i do think the fact that theyre both seeking independence and currently lashing out is like, interesting. theres something there, i just dont know how to word it

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He is finally living up to being inspired by Zam. No care for hearts, throwing them all away (should've stone sworded smh), taking unwinable 1vs for spawn, grinding all night.

And it made Mapicc break. And that's always fun.

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Derap needs Zam more than Zam needs him. Sure, Zam is beginning to rely on Derap some, and Derap is a good influence on him to be more selfish and stand up for himself( like against Kab), but Zams been on his own for a long time and before Derap posed being teammates, Zam was prepared to be on his own longer.

J don’t think Derap can handle being on his own like that. Derap has wanted a team for, forever basically, and I think his recent conversation with Wembu post revival really highlights that. Derap pretty much blames Wembu for making no one want to team with him. And he is really upset by that, he couldn’t find anyone to team with him, until Zam. Derap was going to give evryhting to his team, when he was desperately wanting to team with the Sticklers, he was going to give them his hearts. He was prepared to give everything and all of him to a potential team.

But that didn’t work out, and then Zam showed up. Someone willing to put up with all Deraps trials and tests, their morals mostly lining up and even better he had no team. Zam proved himself to be reliable and Derap even felt like he could help Zam. But they’re not equal in how much a betrayal would hurt, not even close. Another betrayal would be devastating for Zam, he’s been hurt so many times this season, and who knows how he would take another betrayal of this magnitude. But for Derap, he would lose everything. Zam will always have Mapicc even if they’re going through a rough patch right now, he could probably team with the empire if he fully committed, he’s got Kab and Poafa in his corner and even Eccoridor ! What does Derap have to do? Wembu doesn’t even want to log on ever again, and by teaming with Zam he’s effectively burned several bridges. What I’m trying to say is that Derap needs Zam. (More than the other way around)

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well. with wemmbu back. would derap leave zam for him if he asked.

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Mapicc - Dec 15, 2024

hello freinds! #MAWN

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Dawg, I am failing all my classes

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"i just need 1 [echo shard] and maybe zam will forgive me" what the fuck

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Hello 👋,

I hope this message finds you well. My name is Aziz, and I’m reaching out with a heartfelt plea to help my family find safety and reunite with our mother. 😞

The ongoing war in Gaza has torn my family apart. My mother and newborn sister are stranded in Egypt, while I, along with the rest of my sex family members, am trapped in the midst of the genocide in Gaza. We have not only been separated but have also lost our home and are enduring unimaginable hardships. 💔

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.

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im thinking so so much abt the way flame instinctively lashed out on manes behalf immediately after he died. he was SO ready to kill everyone on sight even if he knew they didnt do it bc on the slight chance that they DID do it, then they needed to die. he couldnt risk letting whoever did it get away unless he was CERTAIN they didnt— and how the only one exempt from this was pangi, and it was pangi who saved zam from dying to mane and flame as well.

like idk flame does have his own beliefs and morals but in the face of keeping mane safe and making mane happy it just doesnt seem to matter to him. his loyalty is to mane, to his teammate first and foremost, and he very easily discards everything else for his sake. he doesnt seem to really consider his own morals as important as his loyalty, and he doesnt seem to really know who he is or what he wants on the server outside of being "the strongest" and "manes teammate". which is very interesting.

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what's a girl gotta do to get some princetech around here