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The only VadAphra I acknowledge is VadAphra-sin-bin because they do the best portrayals of these two together.

Otherwise, I want my platonic irritating lesbian friend and annoyed big baddie that wants to strangle said irritating friend but high fives them for getting so many girlfriends.

“Yo....I kissed like, 5 more girls since we last met.”

“Congratulations. Now hold still so I may END YOU NOW!”

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I know it’s been at least a year since my last post

But I finally got around to watching the new Obi-Wan series and just wanted to remind everyone that Darth Vader could step on me and I would thank him

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I was thinking about your Inquister Twin Au lately and I was imaging Aphra and Darth holding the the twins in those baby carries you have to strap to either you stomach or your back with sunglasses on [like the bosses they are] in like space walmart going food shopping or something

Is recreational hiking a thing in AGFFA?  Because it should be.

Also something tells me Aphra is holding the map upside down.

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Your blog is the best and im sorry going on a liking spree but legit, every single post you have here makes me grin happy and laugh. I love your and a few others portrayal of VadAphra. This really made my day and is a good stress reliever. Thank you.

I’m so glad to hear that! :’}. We all can definitely use a good laugh these days and ridiculous Vadaphra AUs are just the thing sometimes 😊

Here’s a picture of one of my cats doing a blep just because

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Aphra and Vader trying to cook!

*applies to modern!AU Vadaphra b/c reasons*

You know that Parks and Rec quote that’s like “There’s a 30% chance they’ll both die”?  There couldn’t be a more accurate phrase to describe what happens when Vader and Aphra attempt cooking in the modern!AU.

The factories have closed.  Buildings are burning.  Children are screaming.  Not because the final result of their labor is inedible, but because Murphy’s Law has it out for them every.  Single.  Time they try to cook something.  Like they’ll be an ingredient short and it’s something that can’t be picked up at the nearest gas station (”Whaddaya mean we can’t just use Splenda in place of actual sugar?”  “Society has rules, Aphra.”) or they’ll have one less egg than what the recipe requires.  Those kinds of things.

The cats don’t make things easier either, mostly because they keep jumping up on the counter and knocking shit over.  At one point, BT pushes an open carton of milk onto the floor, resulting in widespread carnage when Aphra slips and takes Vader down with her.  Triple-Zero also succeeds in knocking over a bowl of blueberries, most of which roll into That Unreachable Zone Between the Refrigerator and the Stove™.  That day, they realize that fate probably intended for them to be together the moment they simultaneously yelled “GODDAMMIT” and accidentally woke up their neighbor’s sleeping baby.

Ironically, their cooking mishaps bring them closer together, especially during that initially-awkward phase that follows shortly after they start dating.  Despite the inconvenient Walmart runs and horrified swearing, the bonding experience - not to mention those tasty lemon-blueberry muffins - makes the ordeal worth it.

(That being said, they probably spend a solid 15 minutes just sitting on the floor in defeat during each cooking attempt.)

(”Vader, did you ever imagine it would end like this?”)

(”…The melted pan is a surprise.”)

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Vadaphra AU where they're going to a nightclub or a house party?

OKAY ANON PLZ 🌽SIDER THIS

Modern Vadaphra AU.  Soft-spoken, mousy little Piett is throwing a cocktail party at his place to celebrate a fellow officer’s promotion and Vader enters the lounge just as he’s explaining the deets to his colleagues.  Piett ends up asking him if he’d like to come as well (partially out of courtesy, but mostly because he kinda sorta thinks Vader is a little bit cool and wants to get to know him better), hesitantly adding that he can bring a friend/girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever floats his goat if he wants.

(Nearby, Veers awkwardly coughs because Firmus wtf Vader doesn’t have friends)

Vader responds with little more than a “hm” - he just wanted some coffee to get himself through these next few hours of paperwork, not any of this social nonsense.  But when he finally returns home and sees Aphra in the same sweatpants and t-shirt she was wearing just this morning, that inexplicably changes.

To elaborate: from the perspective of other characters in canonverse, Aphra strikes me as a difficult person to like, not to mention that her criminal archaeologist gig would require her to work alone most of the time.  In short: she probably doesn’t have any friends.  So when Vader asks her what she’s been doing all day and she responds with “Waiting for you to get back,” he sighs deeply, drops a jacket in her arms, and tells her to get dressed because they’re going out.  As much as he hates to admit it, he realizes that they’re both pretty weak in the socialization department and this might need to change.  Mostly for Aphra’s sake, but then again, watching your coworkers dart for the exit every time you walk down the hall is probably an indicator that you’re doing something wrong.

(Probably.)

So they hit the road to Piett’s place.  And it only takes half an hour of standing in his living room for them to realize they don’t want to be there anymore.

The TV is loud.  Ozzel is completely drunk off his ass and tripping into everything and everyone.  Piett’s about to have a stroke because that’s the fifth time this evening that someone’s nearly crashed into his deceased grandmother’s teacup cabinet.  Meanwhile, Vader’s massaging his temples on the couch, cursing himself for leaving his migraine pills at home, and the only friend Aphra’s making is Piett’s corgi, Nellie.

The real deal-breaker, however, is when Ozzel drunkenly stumbles over to Aphra and asks for her number.  Despite her responses of “Get lost” and “Bite me,” he doesn’t take the hint that she isn’t interested.  That is, until he feels a tap on his shoulder and turns around to see a royally-pissed Vader standing behind him.

Ozzel nearly shits a brick right then and there.  And before Vader can even say anything, Aphra hurriedly grabs his arm and is like “OOOOOOKAY WE GOTTA GO”

They end up spending the rest of their evening curled up on their couch and watching Titanic.  And even though they end up getting into an intense debate over whether or not there was enough room for both Jack and Rose on that door, it’s twenty times more enjoyable than that unpleasant ordeal at Piett’s place.

Sorry, Piett.  Maybe Vader-senpai will notice you next time.

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Ask meme: Vadaphra, Modern AU, doctor's appointment.

You got it pal!  (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

It probably goes without saying that Vader absolutely hates - and I mean HATES - going to a clinic or hospital for any reason.  Sure, no one really likes going to the doctor’s, but when you’ve been constantly poked and prodded and had all sorts of bionic devices attached to what’s left of your broken body for twenty years, well.

By the time Vader meets Aphra, he’s healed a good amount, but his respiratory system is still pretty fragile.  He’s under a physician’s orders to go in for follow-ups every so often, but he’s notorious for not showing up to his appointments.  He gets even worse about it once Luke and Leia leave for college since they’re not there to accompany him.

So once he and Aphra start seeing each other, she tags along with him when she can.  He’s begrudgingly compliant so long as she’s with him, much to the relief of the doctors on staff.

But Aphra’s got a life too, so when she can’t go with him, things get kinda bad.  As in, the kind of bad that ends with extra staff members rushing in to restrain Vader from strangling/punching/threatening to slowly dismember someone.  So the poor sap who has to deal with him always has a vial of sedatives on hand in case things go downhill.

Thankfully, the sedatives do the job.  The only problem afterwards is that Vader is high as SHIT.

Aphra, of course, makes sure to jot down every weird thing he says and read them back to him once he’s recovered.

“You don’t remember?  You kept talking about how you’ve never seen a baby pigeon and that you weren’t even sure they existed.“

“I did NOT.”

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Ghost adventures AU?

“It’s five past midnight, and we’re in Landrunner Manor’s infamous third-floor bedroom, where the jealous spirit of the owner’s wife is said to shake the bed if you lay on top of it.”  After switching on her camera’s night-vision setting, Aphra turned to glance at her partner reclining on the bed behind her.  “Is your spidey sense tingling yet - ?”

“Aphra.”

The sound of her name on Vader’s lips briefly startled her, but not nearly as much as when she suddenly felt the cold, iron grip of his bionic hand around her wrist.  However, she quickly straightened up, as this quirky gesture of his often indicated that things - things of a supernatural sort, specifically - were getting serious.  “Er…what’s up?” she stammered, trying to shake off her initial surprise.  “Did you sense something, or feel something, or…?”

His response was, to say the least, unexpected.  In a voice that sounded deeper than normal due to the respirator covering his face, Vader turned to her and replied, “Get into the bed with me, and we can feel the vibrations together.”

Radio silence.  It was all she could come up with as she processed what it was that her stoic, no-nonsense companion had just said to her.

“…Get into bed with me?”

“Feel the vibrations together?”

She couldn’t help herself.  She laughed.  Uproariously.

“Dude!  Did you even hear what you just said?!!” Aphra howled, grasping one of the bedposts to steady herself as she doubled over with laughter.  “We just started filming and this is already our funniest episode yet!”

Through the camera’s dimly-lit screen, she could see Vader shooting her an offended glare.  “Only your filthy mind would take it that way,” he accused over her wheezing.  “I just felt the bed shift beneath me.  Do you want to experience it for yourself or not?”

Aphra gave another amused snort as she wiped away a tear of mirth.  “I gotta say, this is not how I pictured you trying to get me in bed with you,” she joked.

A loud - and obviously embarrassed - “tch” sound answered back.  “I’m not trying to - Christ, just get in here with me,” Vader snapped.  “And don’t try to cuddle with me or anything like that, we’re here for evidence.”

“I’ll try my best just for you, honey-bunches.”

Yes I totally based this prompt off of this clip from a very real, very dramatic ghost-hunting series.

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Wow okay so I know it’s been like a million years since I last posted anything and this is all I’ve got

But I’m getting notifications for a lot of the AUs I’ve posted here and holy smokes I forgot how hilarious y’all are

And honestly it makes me want more funny Vadaphra stuff, so if anyone is still shipping this little ship then please send me your funny headcanons/AU headcanons/AU ideas because honestly times are weird right now and we could all use a good laugh

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Empress Aphra au

Aphra hadn’t really though about the political implications of being with Vader. She’d just gotten really, really used to him looming about, and after awhile the looming got more normal that scary, and his death threats became a great deal more for appearances than real.

So when she and Vader and family and friends take out Palpatine, she isn’t really prepared for people to start bowing to her, and then there is talk of a coronation. Like, sure Vader will be emperor until he can get the galaxy tamed enough to hand over to Luke or Leia.

Only Leia is including her in the plans. Because Aphra realizes with a startled jolt. She’s married to Vader ( he showed her how to make his family’s tzai which is how you get married on Tatooine.) But, but married to Vader means married which means….

(Aphra was found by her rather worried husband in a ventilation shaft having bit of a moment)

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The Galaxy would never be the same

Just think is Aphra and Vader actually got together, and Vader takes out the emperor….he’d be emperor and Aphra would be the empress….imagine the faces…..

Though Aphra might do some good, with her understanding that for most people, they don’t care who’s in charge so long as they are safe.

I wonder if the storm troopers of the 105th had a betting pool on whether or not they were a thing?

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random Vadaphra just because

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- i have no feelings - but i won’t let you down

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I feel like these two go hand-in-hand 💪

Also I’ve always felt a pansexual vibe from Aphra ...she seems like too much of a flirt to stick with just one type (men, women, human, alien, etc)

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random Vadaphra just because

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AIGHT so is anyone following this blog still on the Vadaphra paddleboat?  All the SW hype is making me want to finally blow the dust off of it.