uri-byeol-haru

[uri-byeol-haru]

Whats the point?

I have always wondered if I am good enough?

What do I change?

Does he want me?

Do I want him?

Does he hate me?

Is he ok?

Am I ok?

I might just be delusional

Maybe I am

Maybe I just did it to get the other one out of my head

Maybe I just need a small break from looking for people

Maybe one day I will find someone

Why am I so obsessed with this guy?

He doesnt even want look at me

Am I that fat and ugly?

Maybe I am

Maybe one day I can change

Or maybe ill just be alone forever

Maybe

Just

Maybe

[uri-byeol-haru]

when i was in highschool i had a friend who i would talk to about dropping out and we would open pizza strip club together

[uri-byeol-haru]

This is bullshit

why do I have to think of them why do I have to dream of them I don't want them in my life I don't want to have to feel bad for what I did when all I did was cut them out of my life why should I feel bad about not wanting to be friends with them I don't like them anymore they don't like me why should I have to dream of them why are they present in my life in my mind when all I want is them to be away from me and live their own lives without having to interfere with mine

[uri-byeol-haru]

Aĥhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[uri-byeol-haru]

I love my hosey and my hosey love me

[uri-byeol-haru]

Fuck me shiballlllll

Its just 2mins and 50 secs its ok u can do this but its so cringe i can do it i can do it i can do it i can do it i can do it u can do it u can do it u can do it

[uri-byeol-haru]

Not me forgetting to do this letter to my future self

[uri-byeol-haru]

[uri-byeol-haru]

I cant sleep because i keep thinking of him he makes my heart go du-gun

[uri-byeol-haru]

So today was interesting I saw him and omg 😱 i just cant take him off my mind I finally heard his voice for the first time I still dont know his name but soon

[uri-byeol-haru]

18 more days

I have 18 more days until I get to go to counseling and can finally be able to get a different point of view on my life or have a real professional adult talk to me about my fucking problems I need it like now more than ever I'm so close to that day hopefully I can get a drivers license to drive myself there and not need my mom to take me.

[uri-byeol-haru]

Its been a while today is my first day of school finally got rid of high school holding me back but im fine now and better than ever i feel small but great

[uri-byeol-haru]

Sometimes I wish i could say i hate my mom but i would never do that because i dont i love and she loves to frustrate me and i dont know what has been going on with my behavior it doesnt feel right every time i get mad its like im being extreme but mom likes to trigger my frustration with her complaints everytime I try to help her or she tells me to help her its all about her foot ever since she got the surgery its all its about its all it is i cant tell her what to do because she lashes our at my with her complaints about how if she could do the things she would i tell her ask me to help you and she says I dont want to ask for your help but then shes goes off complaining that no one helps her its like make your mind I dont think i ask too much of her since i dont a have a drivers license I dont ask her to take me places because its always where she has to go and all these things she has to get done in the house while she takes care of a baby that is her grandson not mine but my brothers who works night just to sleep all day and make a better living he gets his hands on just a bit of money he wastes it all and says hes responsible yet he can barely take care of his child I want out I want that job i applied for I want to get out of here

[uri-byeol-haru]

Its been a few days maybe probably a week but I have developed a small obsession with Joe Keery I dont know how or why but it might not be the healthiest I found this by myself no one gave it to I developed it my self I feel like I should hide this but I cant help to watch anything to do with him its crazy to think I mean hes always been cute to but ever since his song end of beginning became so viral I somehow realized what a great person actor and artist he seems to be this seems to be another phase that I am going through Idk why I guess I have been looking for something new

Thank You

[uri-byeol-haru]

I never made any fucking promises now they are bitching about something i never said

[uri-byeol-haru]

I think i just realized that i do like him but its different from a crush this is weird its not the same idk why

[uri-byeol-haru]

Mom always complains after she got her surgery it has increased more and idk what to do. She decided to have a week the religious statue odk how to name it or put it but thats what it is and so she has been saying o what do i make for food then she complains she has no time to do nothing because she is making food for people who probably wont even come and its so annoying that she throws her frustrations on me when i try to help as much as i can but im still being pushed around its just very stressful she has things to do but i also have things to do parents dont realize that we have other tasks that require time