uri-byeol-haru

[uri-byeol-haru]

Not me forgetting to do this letter to my future self

[uri-byeol-haru]

[uri-byeol-haru]

I cant sleep because i keep thinking of him he makes my heart go du-gun

[uri-byeol-haru]

So today was interesting I saw him and omg 😱 i just cant take him off my mind I finally heard his voice for the first time I still dont know his name but soon

[uri-byeol-haru]

18 more days

I have 18 more days until I get to go to counseling and can finally be able to get a different point of view on my life or have a real professional adult talk to me about my fucking problems I need it like now more than ever I'm so close to that day hopefully I can get a drivers license to drive myself there and not need my mom to take me.

[uri-byeol-haru]

Its been a while today is my first day of school finally got rid of high school holding me back but im fine now and better than ever i feel small but great

[uri-byeol-haru]

Sometimes I wish i could say i hate my mom but i would never do that because i dont i love and she loves to frustrate me and i dont know what has been going on with my behavior it doesnt feel right every time i get mad its like im being extreme but mom likes to trigger my frustration with her complaints everytime I try to help her or she tells me to help her its all about her foot ever since she got the surgery its all its about its all it is i cant tell her what to do because she lashes our at my with her complaints about how if she could do the things she would i tell her ask me to help you and she says I dont want to ask for your help but then shes goes off complaining that no one helps her its like make your mind I dont think i ask too much of her since i dont a have a drivers license I dont ask her to take me places because its always where she has to go and all these things she has to get done in the house while she takes care of a baby that is her grandson not mine but my brothers who works night just to sleep all day and make a better living he gets his hands on just a bit of money he wastes it all and says hes responsible yet he can barely take care of his child I want out I want that job i applied for I want to get out of here

[uri-byeol-haru]

Its been a few days maybe probably a week but I have developed a small obsession with Joe Keery I dont know how or why but it might not be the healthiest I found this by myself no one gave it to I developed it my self I feel like I should hide this but I cant help to watch anything to do with him its crazy to think I mean hes always been cute to but ever since his song end of beginning became so viral I somehow realized what a great person actor and artist he seems to be this seems to be another phase that I am going through Idk why I guess I have been looking for something new

Thank You

[uri-byeol-haru]

I never made any fucking promises now they are bitching about something i never said

[uri-byeol-haru]

I think i just realized that i do like him but its different from a crush this is weird its not the same idk why

[uri-byeol-haru]

Mom always complains after she got her surgery it has increased more and idk what to do. She decided to have a week the religious statue odk how to name it or put it but thats what it is and so she has been saying o what do i make for food then she complains she has no time to do nothing because she is making food for people who probably wont even come and its so annoying that she throws her frustrations on me when i try to help as much as i can but im still being pushed around its just very stressful she has things to do but i also have things to do parents dont realize that we have other tasks that require time

[uri-byeol-haru]

Im all alone

[uri-byeol-haru]

This girl dont hurry

[uri-byeol-haru]

Bitch

[uri-byeol-haru]

Now that ive been looking through my posts i wonder if someone one day will actually see them and just think wtf is this person doing

[uri-byeol-haru]

Havent posted in a while omg i have sooo much anxiety rn tomorrow i have to go to the high school to take pictures and stuff and practice for graduation bro i just dont know wtf why am i so anxious i go to college everyday and i dont feel this way why do i always feel like this before going to normal school? Its weird i dont like it i hate it im hungry? I just cant sleep its killing me there is no way i can make my anxiety go away i will see people again for the first time and then it will be the last time i see them unless we see each other in public

God this is just uggghhhh i cant

[uri-byeol-haru]

I fucked up bad

I fucked up bad im so stupid he was sleeping in the house the whole time im so dumb i thought he wasnt here