urban-ommie-blog

[urban-ommie-blog]

Words to Describe Hair

This began as a guide to describing Afro/curly hair but of course, I got carried away. From look and texture of hair, colors and various styles, this guide serves as a thesaurus of sorts for hair, as well as pointers for use in your writing.

Culturally Significant Hair Coverings:

Know the meaning behind head wear and why it’s worn, when and by whom, such as a Native Nation’s headdress, before bestowing a character with it.

Head Coverings Resources:

More on various head coverings.

See here for more Islamic Veils. 

See here for more on the Nigerian gele.

See here on African American Headwraps. 

View our hijab and headscarves tags for discussion on these topics.

Afro - Curly - Straightened

There are many varieties of braids, twists & Afro hair styles; have some more!

African/Black Hair: Natural, Braids and Locks

African Hair: Braiding Styles 10 African Types

Describing Black (Afro) hair:

Appropriative Hairstyles: Keep in mind that Afro styles should be kept to those in the African Diaspora, such as dreadlocks, cornrows + certain and many braided styles.

Tread carefully describing Afro hair as “wild” “unkempt” “untamed” or any words implying it’s unclean or requires controlling.

“Nappy” and “wooly” are generally words to stay away from, the first having heavy negative connotations for many and the latter, though used in the Holy Bible, is generally not acceptable anymore and comes off as dehumanizing due to Animal connotations.

There are mixed feelings on calling Black hair “kinky.” I’m personally not opposed to the word in itself and usage depends on the person’s race (I’m more comfortable with a Black person using it vs. a Non-Black person) as well as their tone and context (if it’s used in a neutral or positive tone vs. negatively/with disdain). Get feedback on your usage, or simply forgo it.

See our tags “Black Hair” and “Natural Hair” for more discussion on describing Black hair.

Texture - Look - Styles

Hair Colors and Style

Writing Tips & Things to Keep in Mind:

Combination Words: Try combining words to illustrate look of hair. A character with springy coils that dance across her shoulders with every movement, the man with thick silvery hair slicked back into a ponytail…

Mind Perspective: Depending on POV, a character might not know exactly what cornrows or a coiffure style is, at least in name, and it might make more sense if they described the hairdo instead. More defining terms might come from a more knowing source or the wearer themselves. One book I read described a girl’s afro puff as “thick hair pulled up into a cute, curly, poufy thing on top of her head and tied with a yellow ribbon.”

POC & Hair Colors: People of Color’s hair comes in all shades and textures. There are Black people with naturally blond and loosely-textured to straight hair, East Asian people with red hair, and so on. Keep that in mind when coding characters if you tend to rely on hair color alone to denote a character is white vs. a Person of Color.

Related Tropes: There are tropes and discussion related to People of Color, colored hair, and light-colored hair and features. 

Check out these posts on the topic: The East Asian Women + Colored Hair Trope - Black Characters & “Wild” Hair Colors - POC w/ Supernatural Colorful Features. - ‘Uncommon’ Features & POC Characters

~Mod Colette

[urban-ommie-blog]

My momma would kill me if she saw this photo lol I was feeling all types of #blackgirlmagic this morning.

[urban-ommie-blog]

Matriarch

✨ My community is a reflection of me. ✨ Matriarch (as defined by the Webster dictionary) - A matriarch is a woman who is the mother and head of a family. The Latin word mater, meaning “mother,” gives us the root mater or matr. Anyone or anything maternal, such as a grandparent, is related through the mother's side of the family. ( "Big Momma" in black families) What does being the matriarch of your tribe mean to you? Did you come into your role easily or are you still avoiding it? Becoming the matriarch of my family was not an easy process for me. I noticed that even as a child, everyone always looked to me for guidance... adults included. I've always been told that I have an old soul and was wise but that wasn't what I wanted to be. I always had to be strong while everyone and everything fell apart around me. I had to encourage and motivate, uplift and enlighten. I had to heal. It's just what I do, everyone who leaves me leaves better than they came to me, and I mean that in the most humble way. It's taxing on my spirit but that's because I wasn't taught how to love and heal myself... I lacked the wisdom of the matriarchs before me. (This is why lineage, heritage and culture are so important, our people are lost because everyone acts like it's not their duty to build up our community) It took a lot of soul searching and finding my way back to myself to accept this role but showing up to lead my tribe was really showing up for myself and because I'm better they can only be great. Your tribe is a reflection of you, your guidance, your wisdom and your leadership skills. What's your tribe looking like? My tribe will have a solid foundation and deep roots because of my efforts. I will record our history and pass down traditions. I will teach them their culture and heritage. I will teach them love of self so they know they're worth. My tribe will not fall victim to any of the systems built against them, my tribe will thrive in this world. My tribe will be the embody all the principles of Kwanza, it will not be just another holiday that we celebrate. The most important work you will ever do is in your own home, your own community. Build them up and they'll do the same in the world and the effects will ripple.

[urban-ommie-blog]

Roots

So... I got my genealogy report back this morning. Completely. Unexpected. Results. European history, Great Britain and Ireland's history, is my history and I'm really not sure exactly how I wish to feel about this just yet so for now I’m just going to store this information in the back of my mind. I’m also part Eskimo which would explain the "chinky" or "slanted" eyes lol  (both terms are offensive btw so do not use them when referencing those with Asian ancestry) Now it was no surprise that I'm mostly West African and a little East African. Yet these results brought me unimaginable joy this morning and I instantly felt like I finally knew me... all of me. There's no mystery that part of the distress and disconnect that African Americans experience is rooted in not knowing where we come from or where we belong. Ethnicity, ancestors, history and society play a large role in self-identification. (I’ll go deeper into this concept one day) I used to become so upset when all my friends would celebrate culture day and they could all point to a place on the map where their family and/ or ancestors came from. Meanwhile all I knew about myself was that I was born in America thanks to the enslavement of my people. America, however, has always made it very clear to me that despite being born here, I was in fact not an American but rather I was an "other" and my ancestors couldn't even be traced. Being black, for me, meant not knowing but just pushing forward instead. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen an un-rooted tree but it pretty much can’t grow even if it wanted to. So, for me, that meant creating my own space to plant myself and grow my own roots for my sons to have. I remember going through this phase in high school where I would check the "Mixed Race" or "Other" because I didn't know and I needed someone to tell me. I would ask but no one in my family really knew, all we could do was guess or give estimates. Some families in the African diaspora are blessed to have records including the sales records of their ancestors, some people have names that they can add to faces and others can even trace all the way back to a place of origin. I didn’t have that luxury but I have places now. Actual places that I can find on the map and even visit. I may not have names but I have numbers and that's a wonderful place to start. I'm 90% African! I know where I come from now, I know what cultures to study and can integrate their practices into my life, I can learn MY history now... I have roots now. 

I can now produce African Waist Beads without guilt or the need to explain my fascination with them. They’re a part of my culture. That’s all to it. I have the right to wear them and I have the right to make them and I’m not appropriating anyone’s culture... it is my culture!

This is incredible! 

  My list of ethnicities in descending order of percentage:

Nigerian

Sierra Leonean

unidentified West African

Kenyan

British

Irish

Maasai

Eskimo/ Inuit

I shared my results with my mom and she was shocked. Her entire life she believed she was more Native American than anything, I don't think she ever acknowledged her own African ancestry in my whole life. She then agreed to have her DNA tested so I could find out which pieces of me comes from my dad and herself. This is the closest I will probably ever get to knowing who he was. This is a necessity for me.

[urban-ommie-blog]

Enough

One day you will have a moment. You will look around at all the people in your life, eyes squinted, and think... why are you still here? You will be so fed up with the crap that others have served you and called "love" that your head will spin. You will then ask yourself, why have I even allowed this? One day you will have a moment when you will no longer be willing to accept others half-ass loving you. One day you will wake up knowing exactly what you deserve from others and you will be confident enforcing boundaries to protect yourself. .The day will come when you love yourself so much that anything less will not only be unacceptable but it will be intolerable. On this day you will stand up for yourself and say enough is enough and on that day you will know just what it means to love yourself.

[urban-ommie-blog]

Hand-Me-Downs

I've always worn hand-me-downs. Didn't get a sense of style though well in to adulthood. Now, two kids later, thrifting is my favorite thing to do and someone said "I hate seein kids dressed in hammy downs .. I'll look bummy before I ever let my child n that's REAL !!" and I had a lot to say about this. Here's my response: For starters it's hand-me-downs. Secondly, I think you attacked the wrong idea. Your issue seems to be with materialism, but your dislike for hand-me-downs actually supports materialism... since you have to buy new clothes fairly often because kids are always growing. I think your dislike is rooted in the fact that some parents walk around looking fly while their children look crazy. In which case your problem isn't with hand-me-downs at all but with parents who lack of ability to prioritize. Even with that being said though, my children always look like children. Nothing full of holes or anything but usually comfortable clothes that they can get dirty and play around in because, well, that's what kids do. I don't understand the rush for children to look and act like adults. I'm usually dressed and depending on where I go I look pretty decent (heels, lipstick... maybe a little eyeliner if I'm feeling like I got my life together that day) but I'm not forcing my child into some crap they can't even play in just to satisfy my ego or another person's need for my children to look like proper little adults either. Jeans, sweats and tees for them because that's what they like no matter what I got on myself. And if you're not materialistic then no one in your home has to look "bummy". Thrifting could probably be classified as a hobby of mine. However, if you care about putting $100 jeans and sneakers, from brands that weren't even created with you in mind, on your child or even yourself then yeah someone's always going to look a hot mess unless you got it like that. Which I don't understand either because I rather invest in stocks, my business, my craft (things that will sustain my children long after I perish) or even wine before I fuel a system that could care less about what's really important to my kids life and well-being like quality education. #ijs

[urban-ommie-blog]

My soul is as deep as the universe and I can feel it pulsing inside my lungs and through my veins.

voks (via midnightwritings)

[urban-ommie-blog]

Parenting Style of Choice: Gender Non-Conformity

I'm not perfect in any way and I have so much more to learn and experience. However, what I do know is that whenever I I know better I will do better and that's really all to it. I always encourage my family and friends to do the same. Being stagnant in my growth is my greatest fear. I never wish to wake up as the same person I was yesterday. That means I didn't apply myself and I can't afford that, I have the future of this world watching me. Parenting is what I've been called to do, it's one of the many purposes I serve. And like anything else I don't know crap about, I read and research ideas from around the world every day to diversify my knowledge of how to raise a child that doesn't have to spend a significant amount of their time on this earth recovering from their childhood. I wish to raise children who know themselves, love themselves and respect themselves. I wish to equip them with all they need to successfully navigate this world. I want them to know and understand that they do not have to be anything that others want them to be, not even me. I want them to blaze their own unique trails in this world not conform to preconceived notions of who they should be, how they should look, or what they should be doing. I want them to be confident in who they are and whatever they do. I want them to be able to create their own happiness, never depending on anything or anyone else to provide that. Lastly, I want them to be healthy... mentally, spiritually and physically. I want them to experience this world on their own terms, no one else's.