unsolicitedwisdom - Tumblr blog

[unsolicitedwisdom]

The fastest way to shut down my "freelance life means I have to constantly be working" thoughts is to remind myself that if I was a boss holding a worker to the standards I hold myself to, their union would hunt me for sport and nobody would blame them.

[unsolicitedwisdom]

[unsolicitedwisdom]

military worship in this country is out of fucking control

[unsolicitedwisdom]

A few not-as-nice reminders about PRIDE: 

Pedophiles are not LGBT, no adult engaging in a sexual relationship with a minor gets to call themselves LGBT and if you think they do fucking block me and throw yourself into the sun

TERF rhetoric is toxic and stupid and no one needs your transphobic ass any time of the year, much less the time of year when trans people should be taking pride in their identities (which is also year round) 

It is not, under any circumstances, okay to “out” someone. I don’t care if you think your intentions are good. this can destroy someone’s life. A young person could end up homeless. Or dead.

POC belong at PRIDE just as much as everyone else (we would not have this without black trans women, show some respect)

You don’t know if the “apparently straight” couple who you see at PRIDE is composed of two straight people - one could be bisexual, one could be asexual, both could be, I mean, like, don’t be that person

Or they could be there to support someone who might’ve otherwise been alone, like, just, don’t be that person who polices sexualities and shit okay

Bisexuality, pansexuality, and polysexuality all exist and deserve to be respected

seriously it’s completely possible to be attracted to two or more genders or be attracted regardless of gender and our identities don’t hurt anyone 

Just because you are LGBTQIA+ doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of being an asshole, and if you use “I’m gay!” as an excuse you need to grow up (this applies year round)

Asexuals and aromantics belong at PRIDE just as much as any other LGBTQIA+ individual, I really don’t care how many letters are in the “alphabet soup”, you have a valid identity 

polyamory is when three or more people engage in a consensual relationship, not when one person is with someone else behind their partner’s back 

polyamory is not superior to monogamy or vice versa 

buying PRIDE gear for your sexuality/gender doesn’t mean you’re selling out or giving into capitalism, if it makes you happy do it and don’t let people shame you for it

and honestly like isn’t it good for it to be normalized? I am all for Target having a PRIDE section, that’s amazing

Not everyone is okay with using the word or calling themselves “queer”, if they’re not okay with it don’t call them that 

bisexuality is not transphobic and pansexuality is not biphobic 

stay safe at PRIDE - don’t accept open drinks from strangers, ever, no matter what, people can be awful anywhere you go, just stay safe 

you don’t have to come out just because it’s PRIDE month, if it isn’t safe for you (i.e. you’ll be on the streets, homeless, etc) don’t pressure yourself 

that’s all I have, I’m sure there’s probably more

[unsolicitedwisdom]

845. Ravenclaws who actually have a really awesome and unique fashion sense but are too lazy to piece outfits together so just end up wearing the same old t-shirts and jeans everyday

[unsolicitedwisdom]

Solidarity 😌

[unsolicitedwisdom]

[unsolicitedwisdom]

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The Aftermath 🏃

[unsolicitedwisdom]

Reenactor throws a spear at a drone

[unsolicitedwisdom]

Relationships are scary and complicated ONLY when you start thinking of your partner as some kind of adversary. 

You know how to stop being scared of relationships? Remember that it’s got a goddamn buddy system *built in*. That’s all a relationship IS: “Let’s approach life with the buddy system.”

Check on your buddy. Make sure your buddy doesn’t forget their lunch box on the schoolbus. Hold hands with your buddy so you don’t get lost. If your buddy wants to look at the monkey cage, look at the goddamn monkey cage with them. If you are the one looking at the monkey cage, ask your buddy what they want to do next, and when they want to feed the giraffe, help them find a quarter for the little food dispenser. Be a good buddy, and if your buddy isn’t a good one too, tell the teacher and ask for a new one.

This isn’t fucking rocket science, people. 

[unsolicitedwisdom]

I’m watching Steven universe in Spanish and “snake people, or sneople” in the Spanish version is “hombres serpientes, o serpiombres” and I feel like that is 1000% funnier I’m just saying ???

[unsolicitedwisdom]

“remember when MEN dressed like REAL MEN and WOMEN dressed like LADIES”

hey remember when shut the fuck up

[unsolicitedwisdom]

having both adhd and anxiety is a wild ride because you just spend most days being anxious about things you don’t even remember because you got distracted and yet

[unsolicitedwisdom]

Fun Things to do with your pet: Green Bean Test

One of my neighbors had a REALLY FAT golden retriever she adopted, that needed to be put on a diet, but even super-low-cal food wasn’t working, becuase Ella was still hungry and would open the cabinet to eat the whole bag.  Vet suggested that she needed a filler Food so she could feel full without the extra calories, and suggested canned green beans, which are mostly fiber and lean protein.

Ella fucking LOVES green beans.  She does a dance for them if you mention them.  Her ‘sibling’ the police academy washout shepherd, thinks she’s insane.

Even if your pet doesn’t like green beans*, offering them a canned green bean is inevitably HILARIOUS becuase they’ll either be thrilled or otherwise make strange faces.  Results so far:

Ella (golden retriever): Overjoyed.  gets up on her hind legs to dance without prompting.

Sampson (Black shepherd): Offended, yells until you give him REAL treats.

Cody (Gentleman shepherd): is concerned, becuase this is Obviously Not Food.  Gently takes it to be polite, leaves it out in the yard.

Minx (Domestic Shorthair cat): Smelly Toy Is Hilarious, batted under the couch.

Tiger (Really Fat Domestic Shorthair cat):  Total disgust, hissing and sulking in the Prosciutto box.  Came out and ate it later anyway.

Wanda (corn snake) we didn’t expect her to be interested but she spent like three minutes licking it.

Sadie AKA Marquis De Sade (Hyacinth Macaw)  ignored bean in favor of dumping can on the floor, sticking head in can and screaming.  Did not attempt to bite, which is Very Nice for her.

Arwen (Australian Kelpie): ate bean, waited until humans were out of the room to consume rest of the can, got costco-sized can stuck on face and pooped green for three days.  Regets nothing.

Empanada/Anderson Cooper/#3 (Plymouth Hens): Excited screaming, kickboxing tournament over possession of beans/can.  #3 was ultimately victorious, becuase She is Fattest.

Big Angus (scottish highland cow, I know, ironic): very polite and delicate acceptance of beans for appx 1700 lbs of beef, will now run full-tilt across pasture to meet me, which scared the crap out of me tbh.

Will post further updates as I am allowed to try.  

*Please always cionsult a vet before making any dietary changes or offering your pet new foods, but green beans are pretty safe for most pets you can keep in America

[unsolicitedwisdom]

It occurs to me that as much as “humans are the scary ones” fits sometimes, if you look at it another way, humans might seem like the absurdly friendly or curious ones.

I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to, and thought “I’m gonna ride on that thing!”?

And put a human near any canine predator and there’s a strong chance of said human yelling “PUPPY!” and initiating playful interaction with it.

And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything else, and decide “I’m gonna swim with our splashy danger friends!”

Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest, toughest aliens out there and say “Heck with it. I’m gonna hug ‘em.”

“Why?!”

“I dunno. I gotta hug ‘em.”

And it’s like the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly humanity has a bunch of big scary friends.

[unsolicitedwisdom]

Hey all! Some of you are asking about the bear incident. I will tell you in due course, but for now ill give you a teaser

It involves a bear, a tree, and a lack of pants

[unsolicitedwisdom]

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.