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Wriothesley almost misses your question when he’s caught up in the way you pull your stockings up along your leg as you’re getting dressed in the morning. Sunlight filters into the room and he’s still bare-chested lounging in the tangled sheets, arm folded behind his head and enamored blue eyes following your every movement. You’re saying things with each tug of the delicate fabric starting from your ankle, over your knee and the lace trimming settle around your uppermost thigh.
There’s a tent forming in your duvet as you move to your wardrobe where your dress hangs on the door. “Did you get that Wrio? Don’t forget to lock up before you leave, okay?” You chime with a sweet smile and he snaps out of his thoughts, his response reaching your ears. Soon after the warmth of his hand spread over yours when you’re fastening your dress, a softness of a kiss alighting your shoulder in the same moment. You have a feeling he’s going to be the reason for your tardiness with him pressing behind you like that.
#彡 genshin impact.#OH MY GOSH HAZEL ?:!!:$:$#I LOVE PROMOTS LIKE THESEEEEEE#OH THE WAY YOU WRITE THIS I AM SO WEAK IN THE KNEES#LOUD CHEERING I LOVE YOU
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𑑛 “IN HIS HANDS” ノ ALHAITHAM. GENSHIN IMPACT
gn reader ノ words 1.4k ✘ you’re a mess (affectionately). needy making out. sweet bantering. also fingering. he gives you the best orgasm of your life ✘ ADULT CONTENT ノ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
Whatever has happened between you two — an exchange of sorts, that’s for sure, filled with misunderstood sentences and apologies and laughter — now dawns on you in the form of his handsome body closing the distance between you two. Alhaitham grins at that, such a smug smile of victory painting his face because he’s well aware that your initial reluctance was because of your bashfulness.
Still, he’d appreciate it a lot if you weren’t so quick to call him a blockhead when denying what you truthfully want. He knows you don’t mean anything bad by it; just some harmless teasing to get back at him when he makes jokes about the time when he couldn’t speak right with a hint of self-derision.
“I’m starting to think you’re too scared to admit I will make you feel a tad too good, hmm.” His lips find yours once again, but this time they have no hurry — the kiss is deep and passionate and every inch of his body comes to meet with yours, trapping your frame underneath.
“You t-think of yourself too highly!” You bite back with a giggle before a low moan of contentment escapes your mouth.
For someone so inscrutable around the edges he sure knows how to work that tongue, tasting every part of you with utmost care. In between kisses, you realise how silly all this is. Why can’t you just let go of any formality and give in to such a splendid idea? If not for you, then at least for him; he seems to have much better plans and an even absurder mind than you ever dared to explore. Surprisingly, as stiff as he appears at first glance because no way anyone would assume a scribe has such lewd thoughts running wild behind those turquoise eyes.
Well, you aren’t so dull-witted either. A bold move of your fingers against his pants makes him hum a wee louder, which encourages you to act with a bit more urgency and tug at the buttons to get them loose. Albeit it takes but one swift movement from his hand to stop you from doing so — he grabs your wrist midway and pulls away just enough to look down at you with mischief gleaming in his red irises. The kind of gleeful expression only a man who knows what’s coming next would show.
“Tch, how impatient can you be…”
You should’ve counted his remark as a threat given the treatment that follows. You should’ve known that the greatest weapon of the scribe is his fingers. And so, with touching and pressing and tapping and massaging, he moulds your body into that pliant self. His name leaves your lips as a quiet sigh, all previous complaints forgotten thanks to such attentive and tender ministrations.
No matter how heavenly it feels already, being touched and taken care of like this, your gut churns with frustration and dissatisfaction since his actions are purposely geared towards getting you riled up instead of helping you reach any sort of release. Though you aren’t about to ask for that with words, not yet anyway. If he needs more incentive to keep going further, though…
You attempt to untangle your trapped arm once again, fumbling a little while holding onto his shoulder. He arches an eyebrow with curiosity when his own light gasp breaks through the facade of such an adept liar. Still, the twitch and swelling of his cock in his pants confirm how much it took out of him to keep silent thus far.
“Why won’t you let yourself go, too?” You breathe out once your wrist is freed. The pads of your fingers tease his jawline, ghosting over his skin until they dip below his chin to lift his head slightly. He is confused by your inquiry, but not discouraged, per se, especially now that you look quite motivated to get him hot as well. “You think the only one enjoying this should be me… What happened with ‘I also deserve some of it’, huh?”
Your free hand slides downwards to grasp his crotch. Through the thick fabric, you notice how hard he is; that must’ve been painful indeed. It’s enough evidence for you to rub and squeeze a little, which prompts a satisfied growl from him, a sign that you’re right on track.
“Later. It is about you, after all.” His response comes in the shape of kisses along your neck and collarbones, though never enough to bruise — merely a tiny amount of pressure for you to remember it’s he who left them there.
At times, it almost tickles how delicate his lips are upon your skin, like feathers falling down a flock of birds flying high in the skies. The warmth that emanates from them, however, reminds you of where else you’d like to feel those lips. Alas, he works on you with his thumb and his other digits instead, stroking in circular motions that cause goosebumps to run up and down your whole figure.
It isn’t long until you arch your back ever so slightly, trying to escape what’s beginning to drive you insane; or at least crave something more than that. Every nerve under your sensitive spots is alight, yearning for more stimulation than his meek actions, even when that palm of his brushes against every sensitive area that turns your vision blurry.
You beg him to slow down, to give you some time to relax after barely reaching your high; he is merciless, dragging the pads of his fingers against the spongy spot deep inside of you, trying to force out of you another cry of pleasure. It crashes upon you like thunder during a heavy storm. Alhaitham’s touch makes you clench and curl into yourself without an ounce of shame. All of your attention lays solely on those fingertips dancing so flawlessly through your throbbing body, driving you mad.
His eyes, burning with a prideful need to prove his knowledge, are focused on your glowing face. Absolutely mesmerised by the moans escaping your mouth, Alhaitham finds a great passion in making you a mess — it feels so good knowing he can reduce you to such a state, mewling his name with tears gathering under your lashes.
He takes you into his muscular arms, tongue licking your tender skin, leaving behind wet trails. A shudder runs through you as he pulls back, your body falling limply on the plush mattress below you. His breath is heavy and ragged, looking at you like this — with lust. Once he is satisfied, he lets go of the last drops of moisture that managed to make it to your thighs. He draws himself closer to you, resting his forehead against yours as he whispers sweet praise into your ear.
“You were doing so well…” Spoken in his breathy, shuddering voice, it echoes through your heart, down to your core clenching on nothing but the remaining wetness.
It only makes you feel even more sensitive than before, and you cannot help but let out an audible moan again. You can almost hear the sound vibrating throughout his body as well, and he knows he will not have the strength to stop now, especially after what just happened between you. He kisses your neck once more, his hand reaching underneath your blouse, running his rough fingertips along your skin.
You whine again, sensing goosebumps rise all over your figure at his touch. He begins kissing all of your face, leaving you gasping for air. You close your eyes tightly and try to keep your breathing steady, but his hands roam through your chest, teasing you in a way that seems to know your weakest spots — driving you crazy.
After a while, when his lips leave your skin, the scribe rests his chin on your shoulder, both of you staring at each other without saying a word.
“Are you still okay?” he asks softly, a gentle smile playing around his mouth and his fingers trailing gently up your stomach.
“I am. I’m sorry I ruined the bedsheets though,” you say apologetically, feeling the embarrassment creeping up your spine.
You have never done anything like this before. Never experienced anything of such intensity.
“It’s fine,” he replies, a small laugh breaking past his lips as he caresses your cheek with his thumb. “I wouldn’t mind if you did it again…” he whispers seductively, his gaze fixated on yours.
Your cheeks burn, and you nod slowly, biting your lip as you turn your head away from him, trying so hard not to show how affected you are. It isn’t easy, seeing Alhaitham looking at you in that kind of manner. How could you refuse this man?
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The absolute mental damage Caleb would take when you first start wearing make up as you enter your teen years
#彡 love and deepspace.#cw pseudocest#tw pseudocest#river i cannot quote any of this or point out a favorite part or anything because the entire thing made my jaw drop /pos#oh my gosh ??? the peek into his thoughts and everything he notices and EVERYTHING IM SO ????? /pos
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toxic big brother caleb who whenever you go out on a date with a guy or end up getting a boyfriend, he’ll lie, tell you that they said a bunch of mean things about you when you weren’t around or that they cheated when they didn’t - and whilst you’re crying about the fake insults and being cheated on, he’ll be the one to kiss away your tears, telling you they don’t deserve you, only your big brother does, before a soft kiss makes its way to the corner of your lip and you’re too upset to comment on it so when he finally kisses you properly you just let him because he’s the only one who always has your best interests at heart, of course….it’s not like your tears were the fault of his lies, no no, caleb would never intentionally hurt his little sister so she falls further into his arms, no way
#彡 love and deepspace.#cw pseudocest#tw pseudocest#ERIS YOUR BRAIN ( SHAKES YOUR SHOULDERS VERY GENTLY ) /pos
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carve your egos into the world today
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Turns your foxboy into a fox. Boy.
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PROLOGUE
CW: none for now. tangled canon in a sense with my own twist of story telling. fake world. story building. short read.
NOTE: first installment of the tangled verse series i am doing. updates will be sporadic due to me doing work, university, gym competitions etc. send me an ask to be tagged ! MOODBOARD VISUAL
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The princess had been missing for years.
After many attempts of searching, the king and queen had slowly started to lose hope. Their beloved daughter was lost within the dark forests of Urcadia.
Every year for her day of birth, they would host a flower petal send off. Every traveler, politician, merchant, and native of Urcadia would place large flower petals into the body of water. The petals would come together and drift further down before separating into different parts of the canals and streams.
In days time, the city goers and visitors would gather for the large festival before the petal parting.
In days time, the royal family will mourn the loss of their daughter.
But the little hope they had was starting to diminish.
Capitano was just coming back from a private hunt. An order from the king to do the annual search for the princess. These searches always left the royal family in shambles. The cavalry was always sent out more than once to appease the queen.
He slid off his horse, the maidens in the square waved their hands and handkerchiefs in the air. Small, airy praises leaving their lips with each step he took towards the entrance of the keep. His gaze behind the mask trained forward, not sparing any of the maidens unwanted attention.
He made his way to the throne room, where he had been summoned to speak to the king. He steps aside as guards open the double doors for him. The royal council coming to a halt.
“Capitano,” the king bellowed with a grin. The heavy crown on top of his head looked small with the head of hair he had. “Please! Come forth and address us with your findings.”
He swallowed. Taking a second to bow before he stands straighter. His posture was rigid and he felt a nerve pinch in his back. Despite his immortal age, he still felt as if he had the body of an old man, rightfully so.
“Your highness,” he cleared his throat, eyes trailing over to where the king sat at the head of the black marble slab table. “We have uncovered nothing in our annual search. I have sent more men out further into the dark forest and will retreat back to check on them shortly.”
The king hummed. His tired brown eyes studying Capitano’s attire. The only man who he didn’t fear spoke to him just like any old friend. It was one of the reasons why the king cherished Capitano. Not because of his loyalty but because of his ability to be humble.
“I wish to see you at my daughter's festival. I knew she would have loved to be here with us all. Your queen orders you to attend. You are dismissed Capitan.” The king smiled, giving Capitano a gently curt nod that spoke more than words itself. The king couldn’t express his gratitude for Capitano out loud but it was there in subtle recognition.
And so he was off.
Once again to find a princess he had spent years searching for.
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FUNERAL MARCH | evil eye x fem!reader x jiji
The Evil Eye doesn't love you. It's not in his nature as a demon, and he's not sure that it was in his nature as a human either. He wasn't loved and couldn’t love, and that's why he was given to the Tsuchinoko. But he likes to possess you nevertheless, and he often thinks about cursing you so that you’re bound to him. It would be the only way to keep you, because you probably don't love him, either—no human would embrace such a horrid and ugly existence. You just love the Vessel he inhabits. (Or: You and Jiji are now engaged. Of course, you have to ask the Evil Eye to marry you too.)
10.8k words. romance, smut, mild angst & comedy. rough sex with the Evil Eye (piv, creampie, overstimulation, bizarre magic, cnc elements in the “nooo it's too much” kind of way, dubcon with the magic). content warnings: aged up characterization, implied past sexual abuse (not involving Jiji or Evil Eye), brief mentions of suicidality, religious references (Taoist ghost marriage), use of English idioms that don't translate well into Japanese (forgive me), canon-typical crass humour. mdni.
I. THE GHOST
You’re in love with his Vessel.
The Evil Eye is well-aware of this. He hadn't known love as a human, but he saw it often enough in the House. Countless families moved in over the years, husbands and wives with little children who were frightened when he tried to play with them. After photography was invented, pictures lined the walls and decorated nightstands. They immortalized brides in their white kimono, grooms with their wide smiles, elegant ceremonies, decadent banquets.
The couples always looked like they were having so much fun, the Evil Eye noticed. Not just in the photos, but in their daily lives in the House—dancing with each other, pressing their lips together, laughing and singing and holding each other. Then they'd die together, hanging themselves because of that shitty worm. The Evil Eye always felt a kind of sadness seeing them in love—he’d never had that, and he'd never get it, and it was unfair in a way that filled him with a searing rage.
But he was even angrier when they died.
It used to make him angry too, when you talked about the Vessel. When he took over and he caught you laughing at something the Vessel had said, or dancing with him, or pressing your lips together. (Kissing, you’d told him the first time it happened. It's called kissing someone, when you do that.)
Then you started kissing the Evil Eye too, and suddenly he wasn't so angry anymore—the latent rage in him for once eased.
Still, it makes him feel sullen when you tell him, “Jiji and I want to get married.”
You are lying next to him in bed. Sweat is cooling on your naked body—you always get so hot when you and the Vessel get into bed with each other, or sometimes when he’s got you bent over the dining room table, or occasionally when you touch each other in that place you call the ‘locker room’, which tends to leave you extra breathless. No matter the place or the time, you’re always lighthearted, glowing, satisfied. It's the effect that the Vessel has when he’s inside you.
(Sex, you told the Evil Eye once, it's called having sex. Or making love. Not all sex is making love, but it's making love the way that Jiji and I do it. And then the Evil Eye demanded that you show him what exactly that meant, and that's when you took him inside you for the first time. He felt so good and so close with you that for a while, it was all he wanted to do.
Wants to do.)
“What does that mean,” the Evil Eye asks, although he has a good idea. You want to live in a House with the Vessel and laugh and sing and hold each other. You want to die together too, probably, your corpses hanging side-by-side from the same bannister.
“It means we’re going to dress up and make vows to spend the rest of our lives together,” you say. “And we’ll live together and build a home and maybe we’ll have babies too.”
The Evil Eye thinks of all those babies who lived in the House, impossibly tiny humans who were cradled by their mothers before they were burned alive as sacrifices. Before he became the Evil Eye—back when he was merely the ghost of a waif—he’d tried to play with them too, making silly faces and dancing as they giggled at him. He liked to pretend that they were his younger sisters or brothers, but sometimes he wondered how it'd feel to hold them and sing to them like their parents did. How it'd feel if he were a husband with a wife and a kid, what it would be like to dance with someone in the kitchen or tuck a child away into its cradle.
But every time he tried to pick the babies up, his hands would pass right through them. Kind-hearted ghosts can't love people in such a physical way; you need to be vengeful to hold onto anything. He'd had to learn to hate all humans before being able to touch them again, and now he's so rife with hatred that he can't love them anyway. All he can do is haunt them.
The Evil Eye doesn't love you. It's not in his nature as a demon, and he's not sure that it was in his nature as a human. He wasn't loved and couldn’t love, and that's why he was given to the Tsuchinoko. But he likes to possess you nevertheless, and he often thinks about cursing you so that you’re bound to him. It would be the only way to keep you, because you probably don't love him, either—no human would embrace such a horrid and ugly existence. You just love the Vessel he inhabits, and that's why he can kiss you and that's why he can hold you and that's why he’s allowed to sex with you (sex, not love—you've never called it making love when you do it with him, and you never look lighthearted after, and you never glow from his touch: he always leaves you panting, marked up, bruised, possessed).
You love the Vessel, so it makes sense that you would want to do all that with him: live in a House together and make babies together and eventually die together.
“Oh,” he says. “Sounds fun.”
You laugh. “Yes, I hope it'll be.” Then you lace your fingers with his, and look at him in a tender way that he'll probably never get used to. In a tender way that's meant for the Vessel.
“So, then,” you say almost shyly, “Do you wanna marry me too?”
II. THE VESSEL
Auntie Seiko is as beautiful, young, and no-nonsense as ever. Between meeting her as a child, coming into her care as a teenager, and now seeking her help as an adult, Jiji doesn't think she's ever changed. Most familiar to him right now is the expression that she’s wearing, the one that suggests that he might have shit for brains. Turbo Granny, perched on her shoulder, seems equally bemused, her porcelain cat eyes narrowed into judgemental slits. He'd been hoping that Momo and Okarun would understand his feelings, but they seem equally exasperated—Momo might even be a little appalled.
Anyone else might be disheartened by this reaction, but Jiji is undeterred. These are the people who once realised his wish to protect the Evil Eye; surely, they’ll also realise his wish for him to find happiness.
“—so we talked to him, right? Or my beautiful wifey talked to him, anyway—”
“We're not married yet, Jiji,” you interrupt dryly. “Don’t call me that.”
“—my future beautiful wifey talked to him about getting married, and he said yes! I'm on board. I think they should get a proper ceremony and everything. I know it's a little unconventional since she’ll be marrying me too, but I don't mind sharing, and I'd be willing to work out any legal issues. I'm sure we can find a country where polygamy is allowed.”
“Don’t you think the bigger problem is that he's an evil spirit?!” Momo asks—yells—but Jiji only shrugs.
“Evil or not, don't you think he deserves love and romance just as much as anyone else?”
“No!”
Jiji supposes that he can't blame Momo for her reaction, given how many times the Evil Eye has nearly killed her. Deeming her a lost cause, he turns his gaze on her boyfriend instead, almost puppy-like.
“Don’t you think so, Okarun?”
“Not really,” he admits, and Jiji nearly wilts at the betrayal before he adds, “but I understand where you're coming from. The Evil Eye was like a child when he first possessed you; his greatest wish was to find a friend to play with. Now he's basically a young man who's found his first love and his greatest wish is to be with her… and she, um, happens to be your wifey…”
“Don’t call me that!” you protest, oddly embarrassed, and Jiji resists the urge to squeeze you. You're so cute when you're flustered, it's unbearable. He makes a mental note to tell you this on the way home, though he already does this every day as a rule. When you were both still students, he would say it whenever he walked you home from school; nowadays, he more often says it during long-distance phone calls, or on FaceTime, or occasionally via text if your schedules are that misaligned. But he still makes it a point to remind you everyday, no matter where he is in the world: You're so cute. You're so pretty. You're beautiful, did you know that? I love you.
I love you, he thinks as he watches you. You look bashful right now. “We both want the Evil Eye to find happiness, and I’m pretty sure marriage will make him happy. And, well…” Your gaze drops. “It’d make me pretty happy too.”
Something in Jiji’s chest swells when he sees your expression. It feels mostly sweet, but there's also a painful edge to it. He’s always carried a kind of ache in his ribs ever since the day he caught his parents dangling from the second floor of the House and had to untie the nooses himself. Nowadays, he isn't sure if the pain is from that memory or if it's from the weight of the Evil Eye’s curse. Sometimes it feels like they're one and the same. Often it feels suffocating, like he's drowning and there's nothing he can do to breathe again—not laughing or joking or playing or running.
But you're always there when it’s hard. You're always beside him when he wakes up in the middle of the night to gasp for air, the way he used to when he was haunted as a teenager: It's okay, Jiji, you tell him, voice tender, I'm here for you. You aren't alone. I won't leave you. I won't let anything hurt you. I love you. The nightmares always leave him soaked in cold sweat, so he often switches in these moments, his consciousness displaced by a lonely, crying spirit. He doesn't know what it is you say to the Evil Eye, but when he comes back his heart feels lighter, and from that he knows that you've comforted him too.
The Evil Eye loves you—that much is clear. He loves you as much as Jiji does, probably. In a different way, sure, but just as much in strength.
It follows that nothing would make the Evil Eye happier in this world than getting married to you, Jiji figures. Dead or alive, who wouldn't be elated to marry the love of their life? And Jiji knows it'd make you equally as happy; only an idiot would think that you didn't love the Evil Eye back, and he's no fool. Some people might find it weird that he wants his wife to marry another man—and an evil spirit, at that—and maybe they're right for that. But why would Jiji ever turn down so much collective joy?
So he nods vigorously, giving Momo an intense look. “It'd make us all happy. Trust us!”
Momo gives you both a long, disbelieving stare.
“Well, when you put it that way…” She sighs, resigned. “When’s the wedding?”
“That's what we wanted your help with,” Jiji says, and he gives her grandmother an earnest look. “We want the wedding to be perfect, but we're not really sure how a ceremony would work with a youkai. What dates to choose, what venue to book, who could perform the rites… I mean, could you perform the rites, Ma’am?”
Auntie Seiko frowns. She looks on the verge of admonishing both of you, but Turbo Granny beats her to it: “Idiots. You can't do a Shinto ceremony with the Evil Eye. All three of you will combust into flames.”
“Oh.” Jiji remembers all the aliens and spirits alike that have burned upon attempting to chase them into the shrine grounds. He deflates. “Then… he can't get married?”
You squeeze his hand, and Jiji suspects that it's more for him than yourself. You don't seem nearly so worried.
“Would a Buddhist temple take us?” you ask.
“Doubt it,” Auntie Seiko says around her cigarette. “They’d probably try to exorcise your hubby on the spot—and even if they didn't, no Buddhist priest here would ever stand for tying the spirit of the deceased to a living person. It's how you get hauntings.”
“I don't mind being haunted by the Evil Eye,” you say immediately, and Auntie Seiko snorts.
“I know you don't, but it’s not in our job descriptions to curse people just because they're horny for a ghost.” Momo and Okarun cough loudly, and Jiji feels himself flushing; you cover your face with your hands. “I know a Chinese Taoist who’s done a few ghost marriages, though.”
“They’re okay with cursing people?” you ask, watching her through your fingers. “I mean—not that I mind.”
“Nah—they perform it as a pacification ritual. It would be the safest way to do something like this.” Auntie Seiko studies you closely. “I'm not sure how my acquaintance would react to an evil spirit or to polygamy, but I’ll call him and ask.”
“You're the best, Ma’am!” Jiji bursts, beaming. “We’ll save you an honoured spot in the front row! Turbo Granny too!” Elders should be respected, after all.
Turbo Granny makes a skeptical noise. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, numbnuts. Even if Seiko can find a priest stupid enough to oversee this wedding, there’s something you need that you probably can't find.”
“If we could find Okarun’s balls, I’m sure we can find anything,” you joke, but Granny seems unimpressed, her paws crossed over her chest.
Jiji frowns. “What exactly do we need to get?”
Turbo Granny gives you both an ominous look.
“His bones.”
III. THE CHILD
The Evil Eye hates being in the House.
All the spirits that he carries hate it too, airy things pulsing with rage and sadness and grief so palpable that he can always easily weaponise it. Any good memories that were ever constructed in the House are eclipsed by the hangings, the knife wounds, the suffocation, and also the burnings. Especially the burnings. Especially the white-hot lava washing over him, eating into his flesh—especially his last few days as a twitching, starving, dying thing on a stake; especially being buried, then the House being built atop his remains. Then all the children and babies sacrificed after him, wailing and screaming: unfair this is unfair let me go let me go let me go it hurts it hurts it hurts please stop this please help me Mom Mommy please help me please come back I don't want to die.
Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?
He isn't ordinarily bothered by rage; he was born of it, after all. But he doesn't like feeling so much rage around you. The Evil Eye likes haunting you and will probably someday curse you—both things he once did to the families in this House—but he doesn't want to kill you.
He glances around the basement—the man cursed by Turbo Granny is here, and so is his lover. (Girlfriend, you’d called her. Momo is Okarun’s girlfriend, just like how I'm Jiji’s. You agree to be someone’s girlfriend when you have feelings for them and want to act on them. A-ah—what? Y-yes, I do have feelings for Jiji… Why do you ask?) The dancer and the Shinto priestess aren't here, and neither is the girl with the lizard suit, but they aren't needed.
If he tries to kill you, Okarun alone could probably stop him. This is the only reason that the Evil Eye agreed to let you come in the first place.
“This is so gross,” you whine, completely oblivious. You're knee-deep in the white gunk left by that shitty Tsuchinoko worm. “I can't believe you spent a whole day buried in this stuff, Okarun.”
“It saved me and Turbo Granny,” he replies, pushing his glasses up as he digs through the mess with you. “The lava would have gotten to us otherwise. I think it probably preserved the Evil Eye’s bones too.”
“I hope so…” You turn to the Evil Eye, head tilted. “Are you sure they're here, Jashi?”
Jashi. You say his title like it's name and not a curse. (Jashi, we should go try out this cafe, you'll say, or, Jashi, let’s go check out this show, or, I missed you, Jashi, it's been too long—here, can you feel how much I need you?) Sometimes he wonders if you ever forget that he's a ghost, or if using this Vessel fools you into thinking that he's human. If you lay beneath him in bed thinking that it's technically the Vessel inside you, and not just the monster possessing him.
“I’m a ghost,” he reminds you bluntly, “‘course I know where my remains are. Dunno if they've turned ash, though. Guess you can't marry me if they have.”
“No, we’ll get married,” you say, unbothered. “I'll dig up all the dirt from this shithole and say my vows to that if I have to.”
Okarun gives you a funny look. “How are you gonna get all that dirt out?” he asks.
“I'll make you carry it.”
“Huh? Says who?”
“Says Momo. He’ll help me carry it, right?”
“He will,” Momo affirms, and her boyfriend chokes. She ignores him, scanning the wreckage. “I hope it doesn't come to that, though. Hey, Evil Eye—can’t you be more specific with where we're supposed to dig? Coordinates or a map would be nice.”
“I'm not a fucking radar!”
You give him a pleading look. “Please, Jashi? Can't you try? For your future wifey?”
The Vessel's face gets hot. Its heart does the stupid thing where it jumps when you're around, or when he holds you after the two of you have sex, or when he stares too long at the engagement ring that's usually on your finger (now hanging around your neck on a silver chain, safely away from Tsuchinoko gunk).
“...fine. Gimme a sec.”
He closes the two eyes of the Vessel so that he can focus on his third. Human vision is too bound by shapes and light and figures; it distracts and deceives him. When he can't see your face, it becomes easier to hone in on his resentment. Unfair, his remains whisper to him, this is unfair let me go it hurts it hurts please stop please stop help me help me help me I don't want to die.
Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?
“There,” he says eventually, pointing at the ground, “it's all there. In one spot. Guess I'm still a skeleton.”
You've got something of a sixth sense—whether it’s an effect of touching the golden ball or coupling so often with a spirit, the Evil Eye can't be sure. However it came about, it seems to tell you that he's right. Your eyes go soft when you rest a hand on the dirt he’s pointed at.
“Momo, Okarun,” you say, “Thank you for your help. I can dig this up myself—you guys can take a break.”
“Huh? No, we’d be happy to…” Okarun starts, but then Momo’s dragging him out by the collar and making him squawk.
“Sure—we’ll wait outside!” she says. “C’mon, Okarun, let's look for Mongolian Death Worm remains—I saw an occult article saying that it has medicinal properties if you make a powder extract from it…”
“You can't take that stuff seriously, Miss Ayase…”
After they leave, you spend the rest of the afternoon digging.
The Evil Eye offers to help, but you are determined to do it yourself. It's okay, Jashi, you say, I’m going to do it. You're going to be my hubby—the Vessel’s heart does the throbbing thing again—so it's only right that I'm the one to unearth you.
He doesn't understand it, but he shrugs anyway. Suit yourself. And he watches as you your fingers dig into the dirt, delicate nails collecting detritus. You don't want to use a shovel, you say, because you're sure that his bones will be fragile and you don't want to damage them. Even when he tells you that his bones are likely ruined in the first place, burned to shit and frail from rot, you don't let up. You just keep digging until you’re picking them out of the dirt.
You roll out a silk cloth, revealing lotuses against a pale backdrop. One by one, you lay his bones atop the pink and ivory thread, and you've found about half of them before he realises that you're reconstructing his skeleton. It's a small, pathetic thing. Help me help me I don't want to die, he can remember himself screaming. It hurts it hurts it hurts please stop. Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?
The ghosts of the House begin to wail with rage.
Part of him worries for you—probably the part of him influenced by the Vessel, which is capable of a love that ghosts are not. It knows that you don't deserve his wrath.
“You should leave,” he says, but you shake your head. You take your time as you gather up bones, treating them all delicately as you roll them up in the silk, holding them close to you. As if you aren't in the presence of countless wrathful spirits. As if you are with the Vessel, and not with him.
“You were so small,” you say quietly. “Sometimes I forget that you were a child when you died.”
The Evil Eye stares at you, at the pathetic bundle in your hands. “That was ages ago.”
“But it never stops hurting, doesn't it?” you say, and the walls of the House close in on him. They tell him you're right, that you're a human, that you'll hurt him just like the rest of them, that you need to die too. But you look at him, soft in a way that belongs to the Vessel, tender in a way that the waif-ghost covets, and then the House shudders and goes quiet.
“I’m sorry I didn't help you back then,” you say, and it makes no sense, but he doesn't interrupt you. “I promise I'll make your married life a good one, now that we’re together.”
That's stupid, the Evil Eye thinks of saying, pedantic: I'm already dead. But you rise from the dirt before he can protest, and then you're taking his bones out of the House, cradling him in your arms.
Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?
For the first time since being born, his body is allowed to leave the confines of its prison.
IV. THE BRIDE
The ceremony happens at night.
You spend the whole day readying yourself. Aira helps you get into your dress, admonishing you for the satanic rituals you'll soon perform but giving you her blessing anyway. Momo does your makeup, telling you to ignore Aira. Vamola says that you look lovely in stilted, earnest Japanese. Auntie Seiko helps you with your hair; she asks you, all the while, if you would like to wear a headdress that might protect you from evil, or for her to perform a consecration on your body. Turbo Granny is less roundabout, offering to take the Evil Eye’s banana in advance of your marital rites. Serpo warns you not to let the Evil Eye take your bananas—Why are you even here!? Momo yells at him—and Reiko Kashima says you shouldn't listen to any of them. You need to hold onto your man no matter what, she advises.
She also says you're beautiful, though of course you aren't as beautiful as her.
Beautiful. Are you beautiful? You'll be beautiful when you marry Jiji, because you're certain that his PR agent will want you prettied up by a team of stylists rather than a bunch of goofballs. You will need to look good for the photos, at least as handsome as him, and you don't know if you can manage that. You will need to be poised in front of the five hundred people attending, about which ten are your friends and none of which are your family.
You're already married to Jiji, technically. The two of you had a civil ceremony that only Momo and Okarun attended as witnesses, quick and dirty and secret. But the official ceremony will make it real, and you are terrified of that. You love Jiji beyond comprehension, and you know he loves you back tenfold, but you've never been able to rid yourself of the small voice in your head that tells you that you aren't good enough for him. It's been haunting you ever since the two of you fell in love, and you think maybe even before that. Maybe it started plaguing you when you were young.
When you were a child, you used to ask yourself if anyone would ever love you enough to save you from the things being done to you—the things you were convinced would be irreversible. You had confessed this to Jiji before you had sex with him for the first time. (Making love, he corrected you, I want to make love with you, and it made you feel so shy you nearly kicked him out of your bed.) He'd replied that he did love you enough, and that he would save you as many times as you wanted (I’m sorry I couldn't help you back then, he'd added nonsensically, but now that we’re together, I'll make sure your life is a good one), and you were so happy that you cried.
Sometimes you still cry, thinking about his words. But no matter how many times you replay the memory, no matter how often you tell yourself that Jiji is an honest man, the small voice in your head always warns that he’d lied to you. That your wedding to him will be a lie, too.
You often think about how he would leave you (gently), and why he would leave you (the list is endless). And then you try to imagine life without him—no cheerful kisses peppering your features, no goofy expressions putting you in stitches, no grueling morning runs, no messy kitchen sinks, no you're the cutest girl in the world, you're so beautiful I can't believe I'm dating you, how come you don't believe me when I say that stuff, I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again, I know you can get better I'll help you, I dunno how to talk about this with anyone other than you, sorry I cried that was kinda lame of me, sorry I need to go to Spain, sorry I was away for so long, I got you this merch, I got us tickets to this show, is it my fault you're going to therapy again, can you come with me to Berlin, is everything okay, come with me to the U.S., are you okay, are we okay, I don't want to break up, I love you, I love you so much, marry me, I'm being serious please marry me, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I promise I won't leave you—
You don't think you could imagine living without Jiji.
Your looming wedding to Jiji terrifies you, but your ghost marriage does not. You feel calm in your dress, certain in your decision. Jashi has never scared you the way that Jiji has, after all. He doesn't frighten you even when the Taoist priest pulls you aside and tells you, “You can still back out of this.”
���Why would I?”
He dabs at his temples with a handkerchief. “This ritual is dangerous with a being like the Evil Eye. Ghost marriages are meant to pacify benign spirits—not vengeful ghosts. I can't guarantee that he will be calmed by this.”
You give him a quizzical look. “If he isn't calmed, then what would happen?”
The priest swallows. “There are three potential outcomes. One—he is pacified completely and moves on to the afterlife.”
This would scare you ordinarily, but you know Jashi well enough to understand that he would never move on. “Okay. What else?”
“Two—he is unaffected, and things remain the same.”
You wait, watching the way his fingers tremble. A wind blows; it carries the scent of burning sandalwood from the wedding altar.
“And?”
“And three—the most likely possibility—he will attach himself to you and curse you.”
“Oh.” The thought should scare you, but you don't think it's fear that’s squeezing your heart. “What would a curse be like?”
“Devastating. You'll never be able to live a normal life, nor will you have a proper afterlife.” The priest shudders at this possibility, which apparently frightens him too much to further describe. “Listen—if the Evil Eye doesn't pass on, you must not complete the marriage. Completing it would make the attachment permanent, and it would realise any curse he places upon you.”
“‘Completing the marriage”?”
“Consummating it.” His face is white. “Sex magic is unspeakably powerful. I don't believe anyone would be able to break a curse that’s born from it—at least not involving such a great yaoguai.”
Anyone else might laugh at his words, but you remain quiet. After spending so long chasing golden balls and bananas, after nearly a decade of fighting off aliens trying to have sex with Momo and Aira, you know that he is telling the truth.
And besides—you know just how permanently a touch can linger (a lifetime, forever, doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?), so you aren't surprised to hear the kind of curse it inflicts.
“Okay,” you say. “I promise I won't let it happen.”
It is only with this vow that the Taoist consents to overseeing the marriage.
The affair is a hodgepodge of Chinese funerary practices and Western weddings—foreign in every respect, but not uncomfortable. Auntie Seiko, clad in red-and-white robes and a golden headdress, walks you down the aisle. Against all her counsel, a white veil sits atop your head and chases after your shoulders. You stop before an altar of offerings and summoning talismans, Taoist spells lit up by the full moon hanged above. Instead of a bridegroom, you are next to a coffin that holds a tiny skeleton. The priest is before you, now possessed by a death god that will call Jashi back to his remains. Supposedly it is a Taoist deity, but its presence feels more extraterrestrial to you than anything spiritual. You will need to ask Serpo about it later.
You study the audience as the priest begins the summoning ritual. Jiji sits in the front row, watching you intently; if all goes well, Jashi will leave his body for the duration of the ceremony, along with all the vengeful ghosts that once resided in the sacrificial house with him. The spirits of the house scare you more than Jashi; you do not know how they will behave once cleaved from his control. There's a banquet for them in the back, a long table with a spread of incense, flowers, rice, and fruit—but you do not know if it will be enough to pacify them.
Your wedding party is equally on edge. As the White Impermanence begins its rituals, Jiji’s body slumps, and everyone else stiffens in their seats. The air grows rife with malevolence. The stars and moon blink out of existence, the world around you grows silent, and a suffocating darkness overtakes the night—almost as if you have been submerged in Empty Space. Tiny cyan flames erupt in the air around the banquet table, their glow eerie in the darkness. They must all be onibi, you guess.
Jashi himself emerges before you, standing over the coffin that holds his bones. You’d expected him to look like the emaciated child that he'd died as, or perhaps the stick-thin monster that used to haunt Jiji—but he takes another form altogether, a formless shadow that your mind can barely comprehend. You're vaguely aware of Turbo Granny covering Momo’s eyes, Okarun transforming, Auntie Seiko readying her bat—but you don't look at any of them. You only stare, as if in a trance, at the single vertical eye that is now peering at you from the darkness.
It is probably strange that you feel so calm. If you were a normal person, you'd probably run from your wedding altar of incense and offerings. Or, actually—if you were a normal person, your mind would be fraying at the edges, gripped by a desire to self-destruct. You would sob and beg the Evil Eye to lift its gaze and let you go and to return to you your life.
But you are not a normal person. The Evil Eye has never really made you feel particularly suicidal, nor have you ever really wanted to beg for your life before it. Your gaze is calm as you recite your vows from memory:
I shall marry this man. No matter what tragedies may arise, I will love this person, respect this person, console this person, help this person—until death, and beyond it. I swear these things before the gods.
When the Evil Eye makes his vows, it is in speech that human ears cannot understand. From the wedding banquet, the spirits of the house cry, their wails cacophonous and wrathful, and suddenly you realise that something has gone terribly wrong. Something has changed with this ghost wedding, and not for the better, but when Seiko rises from her seat, you raise a hand.
Finally, the Evil Eye recedes. The darkness lifts, although the spirits linger. Jiji’s eyes flutter open, immediately anxious and disturbed. You give him a reassuring smile—and the rest of your wedding party, too.
Something has gone terribly wrong. Still, you go about your business cheerfully. You thank the Taoist priest, and you insist to him that you will clean up the altar yourself. You greet your friends and say that they should head for the reception, which will have food for humans rather than ghosts. You peck Jiji on the cheek, beaming at him, and he relaxes and congratulates you.
He cups your face tenderly, kisses you on the nose. “You look happy,” he says.
Something has gone terribly wrong, but you still smile and tell him, “Yes.”
V. THE OFFERING
Your marriage bed is an altar.
Ivory petals are scattered across the bed, along with whole lilies and chrysanthemums. Sweetness permeates the room, carried by the smoke of burning incense. Flames dance upon red candles, flickering as they cast a gentle, soft light. This is your attempt to set an intimate mood, but the Evil Eye does not feel any form of love—he only knows greed. Every object in this room is an offering for the dead, meant for ghosts to consume, and you are the greatest offering of all, waiting for him on the centre of the bed in white silk. You are more fragrant than any joss, riper than any fruit, and he is the most ravenous ghost in existence.
“Isn't this romantic?” you say, beaming at him, and this is when the Evil Eye understands that he absolutely cannot have sex with you.
The wedding was meant to pacify him, perhaps even allow him to move on, but it only did the opposite. Seeing you before him at the altar, vowing to spend a lifetime with him despite all his resentment and ugliness made bare—it only made him more covetous. To move on would be to give up all the love you’ve offered him, the kind of love he'd been denied his whole life.
The kind of love he cannot return.
But he wants it anyway. And like any ghost, he’ll take it—take your love, your heart, your body, your life—if he is allowed to spread your legs and fuck you.
He knows this intuitively, although Turbo Granny also told him this. If you care for her even a little bit, she'd groused, you won’t go through with it. Then she'd threatened to take his banana and his nuts.
But vengeful spirits cannot care for human beings, not truly. It's a wonder that the Evil Eye is hesitating at all, why he feels a pit when he thinks about trapping you. It must be a consequence of his Vessel, who loves you so selflessly that even his body resists hurting you.
“We shouldn’t do it,” he says outright. You blink at him.
“Why?” You tilt your head. “...are you getting wedding night jitters? Do ghosts get nervous?”
He stares at you, uncomprehending. “What? No! I'm not fucking nervous!”
You frown. “Then what's the matter?”
It'll be dangerous for you, he tries to say, but then you're giving him a shy look and untying the sash around your waist. He swallows as the silk robe drops around your shoulders, pools around your thighs. The ivory lace covering your breasts and your core is so sheer that he can practically see through it. It's delicate, pretty—and he wants nothing more than to tear it off and ruin you.
“Don’t you”—you look so flustered, so cute, an echo tells him—“don’t you wanna make love to your wifey?”
Part of him thinks he might cum in his pants. The other part of him wants to leave. Wifey, making love—those are all words that you use on the Vessel. All words that are meant for the Vessel. You're confusing the Evil Eye with your real lover, under the delusion that he is human, unaware that you're being haunted. The Evil Eye is not the man you wish to marry, to live in a House with, to make babies with, to grow old with.
Unfair unfair unfair it hurts it hurts it hurts please please please I don't want to die. I don't want you to die. Why can't I touch you? Why can't I hold you? Please please please—
“I can't.”
Your brow arches. “What do you mean?”
“I can't make love to you.” He pauses, feels a kind of frustration bubbling up when you give him a confused look. “I don't love you.”
Your mouth opens, and you make a faint, strangled noise before asking, “What?”
“I don't love you.”
It takes a moment. You stare at him; you look down; you close your eyes. Your shoulders shake. You'll probably get angry and throw him out, or you'll just calmly ask him to leave. However you do it, you would cast him out, and it would be for the better. You would remain uncursed, free to live out a proper life with the Vessel, and the Evil Eye would get to keep his nuts.
But instead of doing either of those things, you start sniffling—and all the blood leaves his face.
“You”—your voice is so fragile, and it cracks and breaks and his throat feels like it's closing up—“what do you mean you don't love me?”
The Evil Eye's mouth drops open as you start to sob. “W-wait, wait—why are you crying? Don’t cry!”
You start to wail. “You don't love me! I just married you and you don't love me! How am I not supposed to cry?” Between hiccups and sniffs, you pick up one of the pillows and throw it at him. He's paralyzed, forgets to dodge, and it hits him square in the face. “What did I do wrong?!”
“Nothing!” he yells. His heart is pounding. It's squeezing and twisting and it feels so bad that he nearly wants to dispossess the Vessel. “You didn't do anything wrong! It's not you! It's—”
“If you say ‘It’s not you, it's me’, I'll kill you! I'll really kill you!”
“I’m already dead!”
“Then I'll beat your ass!”
“You can't beat my ass! You're not strong enough!”
“Then I'll banish you! I'll spray Jiji with hot water everyday and I won't let you come out! Not even to have Pampy! Not even to play with Okarun!”
The Evil Eye’s mouth drops open. “That's fucking mean!”
“You're fucking mean!” You look at him, and your gaze is so watery and pained that the Evil Eye can't help but go to you. He doesn't realise that he's wiping away your tears until his fingers are wet, and he can’t find it in himself to push you away when you press your face into his shoulder and cling to him. His arms—no, the Vessel’s arms; it must be the Vessel doing this—tighten around you.
“Why—why don't you love me?” you whine between hiccups, and the Evil Eye should call you foolish for expecting him, a spirit who intends to kill all of mankind, to ever love a human. To think that you could spend all these years around him and be so delusional about his true nature—is it that you've forgotten that he drives people to suicide? That his intent is to someday kill all of you, after killing Okarun? The spirits of the House scream at him to grab your face and force you to look at his hideous third eye, to remind you of what he is, to say you're a human you should die like the rest of them you’re as guilty as all of them, you would lock me in a cage too, you would burn me alive and bury my bones beneath a House.
Instead, he rubs your back until your breath begins to even out. And rather than grabbing you and threatening you, he clears his throat.
“I'm… a vengeful spirit,” he says lamely. “Love just isn't something that's in our nature.”
“Why not?” you sniff.
“‘cause if it were, we wouldn't be vengeful. We wouldn't even be ghosts in the first place, probably.”
“B-but,” you whimper, “we've been dating for so long. We live together and sleep together and eat together. You take care of me and I take care of you. We go on dates and hold hands. We even have sex—like, a lot of sex. You initiate it!” You sound accusatory, and the Evil Eye doesn't understand why. Of course he wants to have sex with you; it's one of the most addictive things about having this body. The part of the living world he wants most, nowadays. “If you didn't feel anything for me, why would you do any of that?”
He bristles. “Of course I feel something for you,” the Evil Eye says, oddly agitated. “Just ‘cause I can't love doesn't mean I can't feel. Resentment is what anchors ghosts to this world in the first place.”
“Then what do you feel for me, if not love?” Your fingers dig into the Vessel’s white suit. “Resentment?”
The Evil Eye stares blankly. He doesn't know how to describe it all—the longing, the greed, the envy for the Vessel. The euphoria and closeness of being inside you, a feeling so good that he didn't even know that such joys existed when he was human. The idea of living in a House filled with wedding photos, the thought of making babies with you that he might hold and touch and kiss. So many things that he never had in life. So many things that he can't help but want in death.
So many things that he can't help but want to trap you for them.
“...no, I don't resent you,” he says. “It’s more like I wanna curse you.”
He expects you to cry more—after living for such a long time among humans, he now has enough manners to understand that it is rude to curse someone who has only ever treated you with unconditional love, even if in error—but instead, you become strangely quiet.
You pull away from him so that he can see your face. It's—hopeful?
“You wanna curse me?”
“Yeah. Curse you—haunt you, possess you, control you.” He shrugs. “The usual things that ghosts do when they're so attached to something that they can't move on. You know.”
“Oh.” You wipe your eyes, and the Evil Eye has to stop himself from helping. “I'm so happy.”
“...you're what?”
“I'm so happy that you feel that way about me.”
He stares at you. “You're happy that I wanna curse you?”
“Yeah.”
The Evil Eye studies you. You never react to him in ways that make sense—you’re endeared by him when you should be afraid; you treat him sweetly when you should be callous; you even seem to enjoy his violence when everyone else always punishes it. Now you’re touched by the idea of being cursed.
“Why?” he asks flatly. “I thought you wanted to be loved. Or make love. Something like that.”
You give the Evil Eye a long, thoughtful look.
“Jashi,” you start, voice gentle now, “what do you think love is supposed to look like?”
A married couple in a House. A baby in his mama’s arms. Three children dancing in a field, giggling in the sunlight.
“Dunno.” When you stare at him, as if expecting something, he grows agitated. “I said it's not in my nature. Talk to the Vessel about that stuff, not me.”
One of your brows arches. “Why? You're my husband”—his heart kicks violently at that; he hates this fucking body sometimes—“I want to know what you think love looks like. And besides…” Your voice gets all quiet, and you look away. “It’s not like Jiji would necessarily agree with my views anyway.”
That gets his attention. “What do you mean?”
You hum. “How do I explain it… well, for example—if I found happiness with someone else and left to be with them, Jiji would be heartbroken, but he would be happy for me. Because he loves me, it's ultimately most important for him that I'm happy.”
A married couple in a House. Two corpses dangling from the rafters. A baby in his mama’s arms. A child suffocating in the darkness, crying for his parents. Three children dancing in a field, giggling in the sunlight. Starving in a cage nearby, I'm so hungry, I'm so cold. Unfair unfair I don't wanna die I wanna play with other children I want to dance in the field please please please why can't I touch you why can't I hold you why why why—
“That's fucking stupid,” the Evil Eye blurts out.
“But that's what he’s told me—and I believe him.” You smile at him. “Now, how do you think I'd react if someone took you or Jiji away from me?”
This feels like a trick question. He squints at you. “The same?” he tries.
“That would be ideal. But honestly,” you admit, “I would resent you all for the rest of my life and then think about killing myself. That's what love looks like for me.”
“Oh.” The Evil Eye nods, relaxing. “Yeah, that makes way more sense.”
You laugh, sounding genuinely amused. “Jiji doesn't think so. It really worries him that I feel this way. It would worry most people, actually.” Then you get a little quiet. “I do want to get better for him, but it doesn't come naturally to me, the way that he loves me.”
He doesn't like the tone you're using—soft, uncertain. Mournful. You feel like one of the spirits in the House right now. He thinks about the way you cradled his bones, and his hold on you tightens.
“Where are you going with this?”
“I'm saying that I don't mind that you want to haunt me, or possess me, or whatever.” Your eyes are earnest. Steadfast with the confidence you had as you unearthed his grave. “To be honest, being cursed by you isn’t nearly as frightening as being loved by Jiji.”
The Evil Eye cups your face, thumbing away your tears. Would you cry like this if you knew what it would mean, to be possessed by him? Would you regret your offer to him, the way that the Vessel regrets his? Or would you stare at his true face as you did at the altar and vow to love him anyway?
Instead of asking you any of this, he allows you to loop your arms around his neck.
“I want you to make love to me,” you murmur sweetly as you climb atop him, and that makes him pause.
Two corpses dangling from the rafters. A child suffocating in the darkness, crying for his parents. Starving in a cage nearby, I'm so hungry, I'm so cold. Unfair unfair unfair why can't I touch you why can't I hold you why why why—
“I said I don't know how to do that.”
“Fine,” you say, and then you’re pressing your lips against his, grinding your cunt against his hardening cock. “Then curse me instead.”
VI. THE DEMON
You've always known that the Evil Eye couldn't love you in a normal way.
It was obvious from the outset, simply cataloguing him for what he is: a monster born from human sacrifice; a curse that drives people to madness, to suicide; a thing that regularly exploits Jiji for his body and makes him commit violence against his will. Jiji and Okarun and the rest might be delusional about the Evil Eye nowadays—thinking that he's just like a kid, that he just wants to play, that he’s in love and wants to get married and play house—but you are not. He can't play with Okarun in normal ways, and he can't love you in normal ways. Every desire ends in blood. That's how it began for him, after all. How he was born.
Your mind has always known this, but your body only learned it the first time you had sex. The Evil Eye doesn't know how to make love to you the way that Jiji does. You’ve tried countless times now, and he's even demanded that you make him do it that way so that he knows what the Vessel gets to feel during sex with you. You've kissed him deep and slow, gently touched him until he felt desire, taken him inside you and pressed your forehead to his. Just like that, you encouraged him countless times, you're doing so good. Good boy. You're doing so well. I love you.
You always end up with your face pressed into the mattress, cheeks wet with tears and throat hoarse from screaming. Sore and bruised and fatigued and it's too fast, it's too big, I can't, please, and with any other man you'd probably hate it but when it's Jashi you always end up moaning and begging for more. You'd always thought you’d be disgusted with yourself for having this kind of sex, but with him, you feel too good to really care. All you can think about is his teeth marking your neck, the cruelty of his rough hands, how his cock fills you so well that you can hardly breathe.
He’s taken you like this countless times, but something feels different about it right now. It might be the incense, so thick in your throat and your lungs that you're dizzy with it. It might be the fragrant petals crushed beneath you, soft and strange things that you stole from your wedding altar. Flowers for the dead, the priest had said to you, given to the ancestors, or to bodies as they're lowered into the ground.
You think maybe that's happening to you, right now: you’re dying, you're being torn apart, you’ll break in Jashi’s hands. It'll leave a mark on your body for a lifetime, forever—and you don't need to be saved.
But even after being fucked so many times, even after your mind has been made so hazy and distant, you're still trying so hard not to come apart at the seams. An agonizing pressure is building in your belly, and you can't let it burst. It’s inconvenient when you get too wet; it makes Jashi switch, which is normally hilarious but would feel catastrophic right now, when you’re drunk on the feeling of his cock inside you and don't want any of this to end. But it's so hard, keeping yourself from drenching him—you can hardly think when he's fucking you like this, let alone control yourself.
“I c-can't anymore,” you whine. “Jashi, you gotta stop, I need a break, please—”
Jashi doesn't care. He takes and takes and takes, and of course he does. It's in his nature as a vengeful ghost, as an existence so empty it can't do anything but consume the life around it. It's not enough that you’ve been ruined by his cock, that you're being used like a fleshlight. It's not enough that he’s made you cum countless times—not out of consideration to you, but simply because he's addicted to the feeling of you squeezing and milking him. It's not enough that he's spilled himself inside you more times than should be possible, uncaring of the consequences. It's not enough, it's never enough—he always needs more from you; more tears, more begging, more feverish, white-hot pleasure.
You shouldn't be surprised when you feel his hips start to stutter again, his cock twitching inside you. Some distant part of you is alarmed anyway, even as your cunt tightens around him, eager to be filled. You've never let anyone fuck you raw before tonight, never had anyone fill your womb up like this—not him and not Jiji; you've always been too afraid of pregnancy—but with each passing moment, it is harder to remember why. Not when it feels so good to be pumped full by him, your body flooded with a strange warmth each time. Unnatural, you keep thinking, this feels weird, he's doing something to me, he's cursing me, he's claiming me. But all you do is wrap your legs around his waist when he cums again, greedy for more, and you sigh in relief at the feeling of it.
He has to stop after this. He has to be sated. He pulls out, his cock throbbing against your swollen pussy, painting it a creamy white—and then he throws your legs over his shoulders and sinks back into you.
“Nooo,” you moan, squirming, thrashing, knowing you'll burst if he fucks you again. “I can't, I can't—I can't hold it in anymore, I can't—”
“Then don't,” he grunts. He looks straight down at you, his weight heavy on you, oppressive, unnatural. You hold your breath as you look at his face—dark and vicious, the vibrant eye on his forehead enrapturing. For the first time in your life, you feel a madness creeping in as it stares at you, fraying at your control. You can't move, can't resist him, can't think, and when he starts thrusting again, your body floods with a euphoria so hot that all you know how to do is cry.
You’re going to break from the ecstasy.
“W-what,” you gasp, “what are you doing to—”
Something hits your sweet spot, and your voice clips off into a desperate whimper. His cockhead starts grinding against it, and you try so hard to squirm, to stop, to control yourself—but whatever he's done to you has made you weak, pliant, and you feel yourself start to pulse. Pinned beneath his gaze, you can neither get away nor fight it. You can only surrender. The pressure is too much, your womb is too hot, and suddenly your back is arching and you feel like you're dying as you gush all over him.
You're in hysterics as you come down, panting and gasping for breath. “No more, no more,” you beg, squeezing your eyes shut, clinging to him. You sob into the crook of his neck, and finally—finally—he relents.
He’s gentle as he pulls out, careful as he sets you down on the bed. Kisses pepper your cheeks, your eyelids, your lips. Then, finally—his forehead pressed against yours, lashes fluttering against your skin.
“You're alright,” Jiji murmurs. “You’re alright. I’ve got you.”
VIII. THE CURSE
The Evil Eye has cursed you.
Jiji saw it on your body: a sunburst of strange characters on your stomach, an eye in the centre. The Taoist priest had broken into a pale sweat at the sight, its implications: if anyone else tries to touch you, whether with the intent to do harm or pleasure, then the untold carnage will be wrought upon them. Should you ever try to leave the Evil Eye, he will drag you back with such violence that it will shatter you. That so long as that vengeful ghost is bound to this earth, then so too shall be you.
Jiji is less worried than he probably should be. He doubts that the Evil Eye would truly ever hurt you, and also doubts that you’re physically capable of leaving him anyway. Ever since being marked, you haven't been able to go a day without having either of them inside you—brutally if it is with the Evil Eye; gently if with Jiji. Either way, you’ve been desperate for their touch, plagued by an all-consuming lust if you can't have them. It puts a wrench into all the plans for your respective careers and for the long distance arrangement. Auntie Seiko plans to train you to suppress the curse, but it isn't sustainable.
Privately, though, there's a part of Jiji that doesn't mind the excuse to see you all the time. It’s not that he wants to deny you your freedom, quite the opposite, but—you're his beautiful wife. And he's ridiculously in love with you. He can't help but miss you every day you're apart, and he also can't bring himself to complain about this particular aspect of the curse.
He also understands the Evil Eye for doing this to you. Sure, cursing you wasn't Jiji’s first act as a newlywed—but he also kinda gets it.
Jiji shares dreams with the Evil Eye, sometimes. He sees within them everything that the Evil Eye has experienced—not just as a demon, but as a spirit, a child, a waif. Sometimes he hears the thoughts that he once had, the ones that made him turn vengeful: unfair, this is unfair let me go it hurts it hurts please stop please stop help me help me help me I don't want to die.
Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?
After all that? Of course the Evil Eye doesn't experience desire the way that a human would. Of course playing with someone is the same thing as killing them. Of course loving someone is the same thing as cursing them. And the Evil Eye loves you—that much is obvious, would be obvious to Jiji even if they didn't share a body—so of course his instinct was to carve you open and mark you with his spell.
Jiji feels poorly about it sometimes, guilty and selfish and like he should have ended things after all. Then you'd be free to love whoever you want, without the threat of certain death looming over you. But then you smile at him in bed, so tender and pretty and glowing beneath him. “I'm glad I get to be with you both,” you sigh, and then he can't really complain. After all, you're his beautiful wife. Jiji is ridiculously in love with you. Of course he wants you to be happy.
If it really ever comes down to it, if you really ever wanted to leave—Jiji knows he'd have himself exorcised. He'd rather die than hurt you. But the possibility seems so distant right now, with how you're studying the stone monument before you. You seem peaceful, tranquil, a calm figure cut against a placid, blue sky. Jiji guesses that's appropriate: cemeteries are meant to be resting places.
This plot of gravesoil belongs to the Enjoji family, and there is a spot carved out for you, right next to the space reserved for him. You bear his surname now, so when the two of you pass, you’ll be allowed to rest side-by-side. He already knows what the Evil Eye would say to that: you'll live in a House together and make babies together and eventually die together and be buried together. And if Jiji could talk to him, if he could for once directly speak with the monster inhabiting him, he'd beam at him and say yeah, we sure are.
But the Evil Eye would miss one thing, and it's that he'd also be buried with you. He'd be buried with both of you.
In your hands is an urn, plain but dignified. It carries the ashes of a waif hundreds of years old, the remnants of a brutal sacrifice. The last step of a ghost marriage is to bury the bones of the bride with the remains of the groom, but you're an Enjoji now, and Jiji’s family does cremations, not burials. When the time comes, you'll be burned, and your ashes will be mixed with those belonging to Jashi. He’ll go before either of you: by the end of the day, his remains will be in the crypt, though Jiji doubts his spirit is going anywhere.
“We’ll be interred with each other, someday,” you say to the ashes, tender. “But first we’ll spend a lifetime together.”
Then you turn to Jiji, your smile sunlit. It's shy, because you're always shy around Jiji—even though he's now your husband and you’ve married him in front of five hundred people and he's made love to you every which way on every piece of furniture in the house since then—and you add, “And we’ll spend a lifetime together too.”
Jiji laughs. “I guess you're stuck with me,” he says, and a frown briefly overtakes your face.
“We’re all stuck with each other,” you correct him. “You're cursed as much as I am.”
“I guess.” He scratches his cheek, sheepish. “Sorry you ended up with a husband who’s possessed by a ghost.”
“I wasn’t talking about Jashi,” you say, and you seem a little uncertain, but Jiji can't help but smile. Partly because he appreciates it when you're earnest with him, but mostly just because he loves you.
“You're so beautiful,” he says, “did you know that?”
You huff at him, turning around. “You’re too much,” you chide, but he hears the fondness in your tone. Jiji grins, and—in the privacy of the cemetery—takes the opportunity to loop his arms around you. You giggle when he squeezes you, and then your voice goes quiet.
“I love you,” you say, “did you know that?”
“Uh huh.” He spins you around so he can waggle his brows and give you his most reassuring look. You snort violently at his expression. “It’s super obvious. You can't resist my charms.”
When your laughter passes, you look down at the ashes in your arms—the child that you carried out of the House.
“Do you think,” you ask, voice odd, “he knows that?”
Jiji’s eyes soften. Because he shares dreams with the Evil Eye, and sometimes he shares thoughts with him too—like the pain in his chest that's been aching ever since he found his parents hanging side-by-side from the second floor, the one that grew every time he found the body of a spirit medium, the one that choked him when his relatives called him cursed and slammed the door in his face. He slept on the ground in front of their house after that—he didn't want to go back to the place where his parents nearly died—and called Auntie Seiko the next day, when he realised that they truly didn't want him around.
Sometimes he shares dreams with the ghost haunting him, and when he screams in his sleep he can't tell if the voice in his throat is truly his or if it actually belongs to the Evil Eye. But no matter its origin, it goes quiet when you hold him in bed and kiss his forehead. Just like how it went quiet when you carried that skeleton out of the House.
Doesn't anyone love me enough to save me?
“Yeah,” Jiji says. “Yeah, he does.”
END
some general notes:
this was a weird fic to write. ordinarily I would write the evil eye as having a childish and immature narrative voice; however, I (1) had to balance it with an aged up characterization, and (2) did not want to get cancelled, so I instead ended up with something in-between that feels a little awkward
there is jiji-focused companion fic that is like 50% done about him fucking you nasty after he switches places with the evil on your wedding night. I will probably finish it and post it when s2 comes out LOL
i know this is not my best writing rip please forgive me
some cultural notes:
taoism has real-life sex magic practices and places a lot of significance on, err, certain bodily fluids in terms of spiritual energy. none of these beliefs have anything to do with getting cursed via freaky ghost marital sex, but they served as the general inspiration for the curse in the fic (alongside dandadan canon, which coincidentally also places a lot of spiritual significance in sex and sexual organs lol)
the vows recited by the reader are a modification of standard japanese wedding vows (found on Google, take with a grain of salt). incidentally, western-style weddings are apparently quite popular in Japan, hence the decision for the bridal dress.
a lot of the wedding details are inspired by chinese funerary practices in addition to actual taoist ghost marriages. I took a lot of creative liberties with the wedding scene in general; real-life ghost marriages are quite different (from my understanding; I have never attended one)
#彡 miscellaneous.#EVIL EYYYYYEEEEE ^^ YAY#tw cnc#cw cnc#cw dubcon#tw dubcon#cw implied sexual abuse#cw sui ideation#cw religious themes
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-ˋˏ THROUGH THICK AND THIN ˎˊ
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SYNOPSIS. with your kin swept away by the cataclysm, you have no one to rely on other than your wits. the curse of being immortal has you start fresh in the modern world as a citizen of inazuma, living alongside humans and yokai. throughout your life in the moral realm, you’ve met many interesting people. out of all of them, one becomes your rock and a shoulder to cry on. out of the blue, you say whatever is in your heart. they’ll reach out for your hand to let you know they're listening.
CHARACTERS. arataki itto, gorou, yoimiya
CONTENT. gn!reader. canon-compliant. immortal au. hurt/comfort. 0.5k wc. rewrite of phase six at my old main blog @/verxsyon. itto is half- immortal due to his oni blood. gorou is fully immortal due to him being some sort of yokai. yoimiya stays mortal. references to voicelines when you ascend characters to phase six, or in other words, from level 80 to 90. they’re part of the dialogue, which will be italicized.
VERA. you can tell from the old title that i’m terrible with titles. what even is phase six? good thing rewrites exist, amirite?
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𝄞༉‧₊˚. ARATAKI ITTO
once an oni, always an oni. that’s a farewell from the villagers when they drove him out of his home for an incident he wasn’t involved in, just because of his half-immortal heritage. the streets ridiculed him; he spent so long fending off for himself until he met granny oni. you remind him of his younger self, even the strongest people need support the most.
“this is the cliff that me and the boys go to sing our hearts out to, you know, loosen up,” he says. “if you want, make sure you’re loud and clear so the ocean can hear you. i gotta warn you though, my voice is so amazing that it’ll blow you away.”
“but in all seriousness…” he helps you up on your feet, and you’re able to see the beauty of the world down below — the ocean that is waiting to hear you sing and the unknown ahead. “just because i made it to the top doesn't mean i’m gonna forget all the things you've done for me, okay? i’ve still got your back, anytime, anywhere.”
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𝄞༉‧₊˚. GOROU
top dog. the ever-victorious pointy-eared general. those nicknames are what he believed he didn’t deserve. an immortal like yourself, he has lived through and fought in countless wars for centuries to be acquainted with loneliness. most of his best soldiers are gone. that kid teppei, one of his brightest, is gone. he’s never been so afraid.
“out of all the wars i fought in, this war against the shogun scared me the most,” he confesses, squeezing your hand tightly. “i wasn’t ready to face any more casualties after teppei. i wasn’t ready to lose both kazuha and the traveler after almost getting executed by her judgment. and when i thought all hope was lost…”
“… you were there beside me to assure me that it’s not. i should be the one thanking you. to return the favor, i’m always here to listen if you need me.” his face lights up and his tail starts to wag. “with momentum on our side and close camaraderie, we are unstoppable. thank you for your guidance. this is a victory that belongs to the both of us.”
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𝄞༉‧₊˚. YOIMIYA
despite being a mortal, she understands the perspective of an immortal through fireworks. mortal lives are fleeting, she had said to the traveler. once launched into the sky, they disappear. whereas for immortal lives, they can keep watching them disappear forever and ever. she knows that she’ll be gone while you continue to live on, but it doesn’t explain her rather cheerful demeanor.
“oh, why am i happy?” she tilts her head to the side. “well, it’s not because i’m about to leave eventually. it’s because you’re here with me. i’m glad to be able to spend this moment with you. whenever i look at my creations, i don’t think of them being a representation of every mortal living here.”
“i think about the enjoyment i had watching them with my pops, my friends, and my special someone. even when i’m gone, you still believe i’m here.” she stands firm and proud, flashing a peace at you. “never fear, yoimiya is here! evil begone! justice prevails! think this is a good way to introduce the powers you've taught me to the children? isn’t it cool? hehe! hey, tell me if anyone picks on you, too. i’ll stick up for you!”
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ꨄ 𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓
(after sleeping with him the night before)
cast: diluc, alhaitham, wriothesley, ajax x fem reader
warnings: fem reader, nudity, reader wears dilucs shirt in his part, reader also wears wriothesleys coat in his part + he throws you onto the bed, reader is shorter than ajax in his part, the tiniest bits of angst because they really like you, clingy men 🥺, nsfw but no actual smut
MINORS AND BLANK/AGELESS BLOGS DNI
Diluc wakes, and the sheets pool at his waist as he suddenly sits up in bed. The way he drags his hand over his face while he blinks away the remnants of sleep as he takes in his surroundings has his heart dropping to this stomach.
Where have you gone?
The night before was a whirlwind of kisses and heated touches that turned into naked skin on naked skin and heavy strokes that brought out the most beautiful sound of you crying Dilucs name for him, and eventually the fire that consumed you both multiple times, turned into a flicker of warm embers as you fell asleep in his arms.
Only now as the dawn breaks, Diluc finds himself alone in his bedroom. Was he a fool? His heart proves time and time again to be his greatest foe, and perhaps his deep and doting feelings for you were not truly returned by yourself and now resulted in you leaving before he woke up as a means to lessen the blow of your rejection. Diluc swallows down a pang of heartbreak - it’d been a rather long time since he last felt this way in such a fresh sense. His jaw sets as his mind starts to fly through his interactions with you. Mostly good. Your smiles. Your laughter. The flutter of your lashes whenever he was close. Had he offended you somehow amongst all of these months of falling for you? Had you only been putting on an act only to spare his feelings? He thought he was a perceptive man, and celestia knows he spent endless amounts of time just…wanting to know you. He finds his hand coming up to settle over his heart, clutching at his chest when he sighs in resignation to another day without you by his side.
Diluc remains lost in his thoughts when the heavy wooden door of his bedroom clicks open, he swiftly pulls his blankets up higher on his body, though he’s known Adelinde his entire life, he still hard pressed to remain modest around the woman. Perhaps after a cup of coffee Diluc will get his bearings a little better.
Only it’s not his head maid who walks into his bedroom with her hands clasped - it’s you, tip - toeing into the room with a cup of coffee in each hand and only clad in…Diluc’s shirt. The material sweeps across your bare thighs, the thighs he was eagerly between the night before, your bare feet light on the wooden floor as you attempt to sneak in further. You suddenly meet his gaze and you bark out a soft, sheepish laugh while your body language relaxes a bit. You then smile sweetly when you approach closer, sitting by Diluc on the mattress and handing him a cup of coffee, the steam still rising from the ceramic rim.
“I hope you don’t mind me going to the kitchens! I just woke up a bit early and thought it might be nice to surprise you with a cup.” you say a little sheepishly, as if you were forbidden from exploring anywhere beyond Dilucs room after a passionate night with him.
“You’re here.” Diluc breathes, you look quite disheveled, but as beautiful as ever, especially being in his shirt that slips off your shoulder as you adjust yourself on the side of the bed next to him.
You blank a little, huffing a soft laugh into your coffee as you sip before you reach over to place it on the nightstand.
“Of course I am…um, is that okay?” your face suddenly drops in the slightest and Diluc can’t have that, no. Not after he just spent what felt like hours of agonizing if he had lost you. He swiftly places his cup on the nightstand next to yours, and in the next motion he’s leaning into you with an arm around your waist and pulling you fully onto the bed beneath him. You have no chance to say anything before Diluc presses his lips to yours. You taste like coffee and when you sigh as your leg hikes itself over his hip to keep him close, Diluc can’t help but smile against your mouth.
You giggle sweetly when he nuzzles his nose against your cheek and presses a kiss to your jaw as his large palm cradles under your thigh to pull your leg higher on his waist, to hold you closer as he presses you into the mattress with a wildfire of kisses that sets your pulse ablaze under your skin. Your hands tangling in his hair feels familiar, it feels like the start of how many mornings together will begin.
“Actually, I’d like you to stay longer if you’ll have me.” he murmurs against the warm skin of your neck, watching your lashes flutter. When you nod, grinning before he kisses you again while your bodies roll around together in the bed, Diluc finds his heart leaping in his chest at the knowledge that you do want him back, you do feel the same way as him. And that is all he needs in this moment.
Alhaitham’s brow furrows in his sleep, suddenly feeling a certain chill in his bed that he’s certain wasn’t the case a few hours ago. His eyes crack open, and he frowns at the dim light of the morning shining in through the window. But even moreso, his hand reaches out to an empty space in his bed, and his chest tightens.
Did you leave before he woke up?
He recalls your body under his palms, the way you writhed for him and arched under his every touch and roll of his hips, your nails raking down his back as he studied your every reaction. The stars outside only partially brilliant in comparison to the way you made him feel during those restless hours of intimacy until you were asleep on his chest.
Perhaps his intelligence was indeed limited. He lays in his bed, staring at the ceiling above him and wonders what happened. He had never, at least not truly, ever put his heart on the line in such a manner. You had felt….different. Not in an agonizing sense of something that had come to turn his life upside down, but as something he could reach with his fingertips and hold onto. Someone he could be at ease with and share a comfortable life with. He grimaces to himself, maybe he is a fool, letting his heart lead him and allowing his mind to follow suit, to follow you to the depths of wherever you would go. He would do it, however far, for you. He wasn’t familiar with this type of heartbreak. Although, he figured it could be a learning experience…once his chest stops aching.
His aqua eyes flutter shut once again, hoping that after a few more hours of sleep he’ll wake up feeling a bit more level headed. Much to his chagrin, it’s swiftly interrupted when he feels the mattress dip beside him. His eyes fly open to see you scooting into the sheets, wiggling your way to his side. You giggle and press yourself against him, Alhaitham barely flinches at the chill of your bare feet tangling with his legs.
“Good morning.” you whisper, beaming up at him, your hand comes up to cradle his jaw.
“Good….morning. Where were you?” Alhaitham muses quietly, turning to his side to face you with an arm winding around your waist. He can feel your bare skin under his touch. You’re still completely nude. He’s really trying not to release a breath of relief at you still being here, yet his eyes simmer with something full of adoration when he looks at you.
“The bathroom? Why, did you miss me?” you laugh with a raise of your eyebrow, eyes soft when Alhaitham presses his cheek into your palm. You nearly melt when he looks to you half lidded and his face moves closer until he smears a butterfly wing of a kiss to your lips.
“Something like that.” he affirms with another kiss, and he rolls over on top of you so that your body fits against his further while your mouths move in tandem with soft sighs and low moans as Alhaithams kisses grow more desperate and deep. His hand slips between your bodies and you whimper, making his skin prickle with goosebumps. He decides then to let go of his own head for a bit, his heart pounding at the way your eyes shine while you look at him, and he smiles at you warmly while pressing himself impossibly closer to you. He really is happy that you’re still here. He hopes that you’ll stay awhile longer.
Wriothesley groans as he stretches, his muscles shifting and rolling as he moves around in his bed. He rolls over to his side and his ice blue eyes flicker open with expectancy, only for a sudden chill to settle in his chest. He notices the sheets on the other side of the bed have been pulled back, a telltale sign of a body that had once been occupying that space beside him, is now empty.
You….left?
It was a lot last night, a flurry of tangled limbs and desperate, wanting touches, your body bared to him and his soul bared to yours. The way you were spread out for him again and again, your lips on his ear and crying his name. His own need for you manifesting in the most passionate of ways that left you both a tired and blissed out pile on his black sheets.
Wriothesley sits up in bed, the heels of his palms coming to rub the sleep from his eyes and he sighs, a low disappointed chuckle coming from his throat as he shakes his head. He should’ve known. He…why did he think that falling in love was a good idea? He clearly wasn’t the type of man who would be able to hold down an actual relationship, to be able to relish on your laughter or the way you play with his hair, to be able to say that something, that someone was his. You. His head hangs down as he turns his body to get out of bed, a shower and a few hours of practice at the pankration ring calling to him to get his mind off of this. He could never be angry at you, never, he was angry that he thought for a moment he was going to be happy.
He’s in the midst of feeling annoyingly sorry for himself when he hears the soft sound of someone clearing their throat. He turns on his heel, sheets falling from being tangled around his waist and leaving him bare as he spots you standing there in nothing but your underwear and his coat thrown over your shoulders, effectively swallowing your form. You’re holding a small tray of what looks like is a tea pot, two tea cups, and a small array of croissants and cheese. You look at him a bit startled, like you were caught doing something you shouldn’t have and Wriothesley stares at you as you shyly pad up to him to set the tray on the nightstand.
“Hey.” you breathe with a small smile, blinking up at him.
“Hi.” he says softly, it comes out much more….hopeful than he intended, like his words could reach out and pull you to him.
“I made breakfast for us with a few things I found around your quarters, I remembered you like two cubes of sugar -“ but before you can finish, a pair of burly arms are pulling you into a sturdy chest as Wriothesleys lip crash into yours. You gasp into his mouth when his coat falls from your shoulders and onto the floor, giving him an in to push his hands down under your ass to lift you into his arms. You moan at another kiss so sharp it pulls at your bottom lip, and in the next moment you’re squealing as he effortlessly tosses you onto the bed. Your head snaps to the tray of food on the nightstand a couple feet away and then back to the man who crawls over your body to smear kisses to your lips while his naked form meshes itself to you. You giggle when he descends to your neck and nips there, then breathing out a sigh as he rests his head against your shoulder. You tilt your head and run your nails through his scalp as he shudders over you.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were a little…upset by me not being in bed with you when you woke up? Am I your new favorite pillow?” you giggle with a kiss to his temple.
“If I said yes, would you stay?” Wriothesley looks up at you, and his eyes flash with something tender, something full of yearning, he cracks a small smile and you nod.
“I can stay as long as you want.” you murmur, letting him kiss you deeply again. He’ll hold off a little longer on telling you he wants you to stay forever, perhaps after breakfast.
when Ajax begins to stir from his sleep, he immediately throws his arm out to the side, intent on finding someone beside him beneath the blankets to pull closer during a chilly morning. But he’s met with…nothing. The endless of ocean of his gaze is hazy when they open to see his bed is not occupied by the other person who just was there mere hours ago.
You were gone.
His mind wanders to the way you were on top of him, the way you moved your hips as your head tipped back in ecstasy, it was one of many positions you were in with him. His stamina and your sheer need for him continued to urge you both to remain wrapped up in each other all night, until it seemed like the morning sun was going to greet you from how many times you let him bury himself in you.
He laughs bitterly when he stands up to gather his pants off the floor, pulling them up with a few fleeting thoughts of you. He really should move on from this as quickly as possible. But, once he pauses his movements his heart drops to his stomach. He fell for you, with an honest and open heart and a gentle hand that for once wasnt stained, it was soft on your face when you smiled and laughed and rolled your eyes as you said his name. You felt like a puzzle piece he didn’t realize he had been missing. He figures it’s for the best what with his line of work, you deserve better. Still, he had hoped somewhere within him that this could be the start of a new adventure.
He starts to make his way to the bathroom to hopefully get cleaned up and to head to his next assignment, what’s the point of staying another moment longer anyway - when his ears perk up suddenly at the sound of the shower being turned off. And within the next agonizing minute, the door opens and Ajax looks down at you all wet haired and wrapped in a fuzzy white towel, while steam from the bathroom rolls out around your bodies. You smile shyly at him as greeting.
“You’re…”
“All squeaky clean.” you finish with a light laugh, a few water droplets roll down your clavicle as you shift from one foot to the other. Ajax swallows at the sight. At the sudden relief that washes over him like a flood.
“Sorry if I woke you, just felt a little, um, sticky.” you laugh again bashfully as you try to walk your way around the tall redhead in front of you but an arm shoots out to grasp the doorframe and effectively pins you in your place.
“You’re still here.” Ajax grins, moving closer to you until your back is pressed against the doorframe under his hand and he hovers over you. You barely have time to respond before he’s leaning in for a kiss, and then another, and another that leaves your hands scrabbling to his bare chest as he presses closer. You laugh into his mouth when his kisses turn playful, dotting themselves across your face and down your dewy neck that’s still warm from your shower.
“Of course I’m still here. I wouldn’t dream of leaving.” you huff when his hands pull the towel from your body and he looks at you like perhaps you’re his goddess now. Ajax kisses you again as his heart warms at your soft moans and your fervent touches…and he determines that with you, he can maybe become whole again.
reblogs and feedback very appreciated! ♡
#彡 genshin impact.#YAYAYAYYY GRAY WRITING !!! 🤍 and oh ?! reading the warning portion and seeing wriothesley coat + toss onto bed ooojshjsjdndjjdjxjk#before i even read it — i hope it’s okay for me to mention how much i love your writing style !!! to me - the way everyone writes reflects#some portion of their personality … if that makes sense … & to me !! you have a very bright and loving warmth to you — very reminiscent of#stepping outside on a spring morning and feeling the gentle warmth of the sun combined with the lovely smell of flowers .. so i think it is#so cute that this similar feeling is reflected in your writing! because .. whether it be your selfship posting or writing — there is#something about it that is sooo pretty and comforting and warm and loving —- etc !! and as a side note — i love the way you capture#emotions !!! especially the emotions of the characters ah it is sooo lovely OOO !! okay i will read now i am so sorry ^^; for the tangent#omg dilucs and this ( i am talking about emotions again ) way you capture his worries .. ): the way you describe his hurt and — while i#don’t know his past or anything like that .. i feel like you wrote it in such a way where i can understand ?? this poor character sob and#his reaction to the door opening is so heartbreaking .. but then OMG THE CUTE READER BRINGING HIM COFFEE and wearing his shirt and asking if#it’s okay to be there )): sobbing really ilysm gray — you and your comforting self (and writing !! )#i believe alhaitham is more stoic and i heard reserved - ish ???? for him to lay his heart on the line like this must be such a rare case /#/pos and omg the ‘something like that’ is so cute )): sobbing crying )): ‘he hopes that you’ll stay awhile longer’ CUTE ):#wriothesley’s part ))): him being mad at himself for thinking he could be happy … never mad at reader ?? )):#HIS REACTION TO THEM COMING BACK CRYING I LOVE THIS SO BAD#THE PART WITH AJAX )))): i love the differences in all their reactions … they are so unique to them and so ?! SO CUTE )):
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gn!reader - 18+ MDNI (not nsfw but may be complete and utter nonsense - wk: 0.3k)
perhaps it’s something innate living in the walls of suguru’s heart that makes him cherish you like this, that invites him to his knees before you as his fingers tenderly wrap around your wrist. a type of love so heavy it may collapse the walls around him, that may burst from the seams of the floorboards and swallow him in its grasp. but he doesn’t know how to love any other way.
and oh, what reverence it holds. to serve and honor and beg, with lips and breath and skin. slowly they trail up your arm, fingers to palms to elbows, the warmth sinking into the cells and tendons below. he doesn’t know how to tell you in a way that isn’t like this, in a way that doesn’t make you feel like you’re stripped of your flesh until he can see every moving piece inside of you. he smiles when he feels your pulse pick up below his cheek.
these are his favorite moments, the ones where he gets to see the mask fall, the control slip. when you shift your weight from foot to foot, when you try to avert your gaze from his (you don’t, of course, not anymore. you know better now, you know that this is the best part). hot air tickles as he gazes upon you, his robe pooled around him on the cold bathroom tiles. water trickles down your back, still fresh from the shower, and he drinks it as though it could sustain him, his throat soft and soothed, one that has never known thirst.
a kiss to the space below your thumb, and your muscles twitch towards him. his laugh is more breath than sound, but you hear the words all the same: ‘i love you.’
there’s a contradiction in it, of course, as there often is with him. he is no one’s; he is yours. he is strength; he is on his knees. he is loving; he is loved. two things that cannot be true, and yet find a way to intermingle at the space between his fingertips and yours.
and perhaps that’s all that’s needed: the reverence, the truth. a man on the bathroom floor. a lover. one that is loved.
a/n: i know i said no writing today but i thought about him kneeling and then braindumped this so uh . tada!
#彡 jujutsu kaisen.#the last two paragraphs ???? i love this so much quinn omg ))): to be both !!!!!!! both strong and reduced to his knees …. both no one’s and#yours .. i love that line with my whole entire heart )): a lover and one that is loved …. heart is full and heart is so soft !! ):
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Under the Same Sky
Mydeimos and you are husband and wife. In ancient China, where the heavens and earth exist in the same dimension, your husband slays beasts and demons to protect the Emperor and the Holy Nation. You, yourself, are closely related to divinity, though it is a relationship you wish to abandon, because the heavenly forces have only wished the worst upon you. And it seems nothing has changed, when the divine wants to destroy your and Mydei's relationship.
mydei x afab!f!reader, chinese mythology!au, nsfw
word count: ~17,400
cw: angst/slight comfort, minor character death, religious/spiritual imagery/themes/depictions, graphic descriptions of violence/blood/death, unprotected sex, marking kink, a singular instance of a blood kink, undertones of codependency, unintended phainon slander (truly just for the plot)
notes: to my beloved beta, @staraxiaa, i love you. truly. you have such a beautiful mind and an unmatched cadence to your words. thank you for all that you do for me, and this piece would not come out of the vault without your encouragement and advice.
to readers, would soo appreciate reblogs, comments, and tags on this piece! i always put a bit of my soul in my writing, but truly, as a chinese person myself, this fic is especially special in my heart. i may post an author's note, but for now, i hope you are able to walk away from this piece knowing a bit about my heritage, culture, and mythology, though there may be several historical inaccuracies LOL
Everyone in the village knows Mydeimos loves you and you love Mydeimos. In particular, the elders, those who often sit under the weeping willows at noon and fan themselves with their cheap linen imitations of the gongshan, laugh amongst themselves about the blush that had blossomed on Mydeimos’ face with your first appearance and has never left since, until the faint outlines of their grandchildren appear on the border between the horizon and the flat earth. Because who could believe that their village chief, a figure of authority and demand – though a son he will forever be remembered as in the villagers’ eyes and memories – would ever look so pathetically adorable. But at this point, it is not a question anymore, moreso a teasing remark the people make in the presence of their adored chief.
And you, a girl of an unknown origin, from another collective li and li away, have also become a beloved member of this village. Even if you were not Mydeimos’ wife, your kindly manner, speaking always with a warming wisp of a smile, and the gentle curve of your upturned palm have won over the hearts of the villagers here.
It is clear to everyone that, by the decree of the heavenly gods above and their kindred spirits down on this earth in the forms of the water, leaves, wind, and destiny, that you and Mydeimos are for each other, to always be intertwined and inseparable in this vast, vast universe.
–
My love.
Mydei – just Mydei in your presence – twitches in his sleep, the magnetic pull of your voice coming from somewhere between the depths of his half-conscious, sleepy haze and the echoes from the four sun-stricken brick walls of your shared bedroom. You tantalize him already, when he has so much to do, so much to worry, so much to protect. After all, being one of the Emperor’s generals is no casual title, and one can tell because all he can boast about is the long hours of never-ending work and the deplorably large number of men he had to send to the infirmary the other day for they all lacked strength comparable to his. Indeed, he has much to be concerned about, yet in the spare moments of tranquility he is granted in the early morning, he allows himself to bask in both the warmth from the dawn sunlight that streams through the bamboo folding screens and radiates from your lulling tone.
Mydei.
He blinks awake, your silhouette discerned with more clarity with each closing and opening. You are holding the blanket up to your chest with one arm, while your other reaches over to stroke his hair, straightening out strands that have splayed themselves across his forehead, intermingling with the lengths of his eyelashes and paralleling the cut of his jawline.
You will be late.
Displeased at your reminder, he grunts and leans into your palm, the shape of it meant to caress and cradle his cheek. You do not make any noticeable reaction, except for the slight lifts at the corners of your lips. And you let him assume control of your hand, relinquish your time as well, so that you can connect with him before he sets off for another long day at work. Though work is never just work for someone as noble as Mydei, as even the trek to the Palace is fraught with danger, where assassins and mercenaries can be prowling in the shadows, waiting for the right timing to strike, attack, kill your lover, the chief of a village a slight ways away from the Capital, a general to the Emperor and this Holy Nation.
Mydei then cups one of his hands over yours, and sits up with your fingers interlaced. With a quick glance, he is sated and actually smirks at the marks that bruise, bloom, and flourish across the delicate skin of your shoulders and neck. He leans over to kiss a spot that is undoubtedly the most stubborn of them all, the last that will fade from remembrance.
I know. I am on my way now.
And, without another word, he swings his legs over the side of the bed and gets up to stride over to the washroom. You watch from your position, eyes lingering over the hardened and muscled build of his legs, the jagged scars that etch themselves into the broad scope of his back and sides, and the tanned lines that have begun to form on his arms, a sign that the height of spring has arrived. You wait until he has left the room to release a pleased hum before you, too, stretch and prepare yourself for your day.
In the courtyard, it is more than obvious that spring has fully encompassed the Holy Nation. The magnolia buds are green, hurried and eager in their pursuit for growth, and the scent of damp soil has begun to dissipate from the lack of overnight snow and frost. A young female servant, a recent addition to your handful of helpers, speaks in rapid, excited breaths as she serves you powdered cakes in bite-sized pieces and pours oolong tea into a brown porcelain cup, reciting news about the Emperor’s several princes she had overheard when she went to the market earlier today. You cannot help but chuckle as the servant takes a seat beside you, her arms propped up on the table with her face resting on her fist, humming as any young girl in love would. It just so happens that your head maid comes over at this moment and scolds the younger one.
Get up! Where are your manners? Apologize!
You simply wave them both off and ask the young servant to continue her relay. After all, she is not of age yet, so she can only daydream, and who are you to not indulge in such whimsies. She tells you of the second youngest prince, one of three in her generation, and she fantasizes of colliding into him in the streets as he makes an escape from the Capital. It is no surprise that the prince, along with all nine of his royal brothers, are mischievous, something that many Daoist priestesses have foretold as they ventured in and out of the Palace, prophecies that trace back even before the births of many of the Emperor’s sons. Yet the young servant’s fantasies are far too exaggerated and dependent on coincidence to ever materialize, so after a while, you begin to ask her other questions.
How are this season’s harvests? Are there murmurings of strife and conflict along the Northern border? Are the rabbits back?
She responds accordingly: seasonal goods, such as green peas and plums, seem to be more expensive and sparse than last year; no outbreaks so far, and people are anticipating a peaceful year ahead; the rabbits have begun to leave their burrows! In fact, regarding that last point, the servant urges you to finish your tea faster so you can visit the babies, and despite the exasperated protests from your head lady-in-waiting, you gulp the last dregs of your drink, bits of loose tea leaves included, before gathering your dress into your fists and rushing out of the pavilion.
Rabbits are cautious creatures. They are aware of their disadvantages and their being on the bottom of the food chain. And while this village that you have become a part of and that Mydei grew up in has long taken root in this region of the Holy Nation, the local flora and fauna have yet to fully adapt to the presence and caprices of humans. Where you are from, it is quite the opposite, in that the people of your origin have learned to assimilate with this earth, rather than the other way around. Where you are from, the rabbits are not afraid to come out of their burrows and shallow mounds to peer curiously – fearlessly – at their human neighbors.
As you and the young servant approach a lush corner of the courtyard, your steps decrease in stride and bumbling excitement. Instead, the two of you tread with silent passes, almost as if you were rabbits yourselves. And when the two of you make it to the edge of the walkway, you stand still and hold your breaths, waiting earnestly for even the most fleeting of a glimpse of the animals.
Since your youth, you have had a talent for disappearing, in the most neutral sense possible. With ease that a person of ego cannot bear to imagine or replicate, you are capable of shedding off all and any attachments you have to your person and melding into the sways of the wind, the humming of the bees, the thrums of the soil beneath your feet. You showed this ability of yours to Mydei before, albeit unintentionally. It was happenstance, something you had done out of habit when he had taken you out for a stroll along a manmade pond near the east end of the Capital and you were trying to feed a pair of restless magpies. You were only shaken out of your illusory state from the grounding pressure of his hand against your shoulder blade.
With an ability like that, you could easily conceal yourself and become an assassin.
You shrugged in response because, unlike him, there is no obligation for you to pursue the art or administration of death, and you figure you will never have to either.
This is all to say that, had it not been for the chirp of excitement from your lady-in-waiting, the rabbits would have approached you out of sheer intrigue. And as quickly as they shuffled out of their home, their grey and white whiskers and fluff ruffling in the breeze, their beady eyes take note of you and your servant before they recede back to safety. Your lady-in-waiting sighs with palpable adoration and lovesickness, and you promise her that there will be another chance tomorrow.
For the rest of the morning, you eat a quick breakfast under a pagoda, admiring the jasmine blossoms that flourish around the circumference, before making way to your fitting. Fittings only occur when special occasions are imminent, and with a banquet at the Palace in celebration of the fourth prince’s birthday occurring in two weeks, your other ladies-in-waiting have brought back several robes from the market for you to try on, no doubt on Mydei’s orders. There is a generous collection of blush, cream, and sunshine brocade and linen that await you, and as you dress and undress, tie and untie, spin and spin, it is unanimously agreed upon by all of your attendants that nothing will be returned. There is also a tray that holds various accessories, most notably a tasteful amalgamation of embroidered fans and gold-accented jinbu, and those are all kept as well. Of course, upon realizing that all of these valuables are yours and yours only, you pass on a message to one of Mydei’s servants to also visit the market with expectations of purchasing new cords for your husband’s hair, as well as a replacement for his worn yudai.
Then, it is lunch, but you tend to spend this time with the other villagers. With a parasol in one hand and a basket of tangerines and dried dates in the other, you head to the edge of the village, accompanied by two guards for formality’s sake. At the perimeter, where brick walls intercept a wide, trodden path, there are several benches and tables so that both residents and travelers alike can rest. When you first arrived, you, too, sat down here, gulping down a flask of water as you observed the hustle and bustle – not as busy as the Capital, but festive enough to indicate decent business and progress.
The elders and a few mothers already present greet you with dips of their chin. Usually, citizens are to greet those of nobility or high-ranking government positions with strict curtsies and bows, and while Mydei insists on the custom in speech, he does not uphold this rule quite as stringently. The reason for your visits are twofold: to know your people and to gather information. Though you have not yet born descendants of your and Mydei’s own, you have come to realize that children have sharp ears and loose mouths, fervent in their interminable search for entertainment and delight. The village is close enough for children to pursue education in the Capital if their parents so wished, so until many of them return, you pass your time underneath the arching path of the sun exchanging pleasantries and discussing matters.
By the time the little ones return, the sun is bathed in orange gold, half-concealed by the mountains you had once traversed, and there are but a few of the fruits remaining, just enough to quench their parched throats. As children do, they clamor to their respective guardians, complaining about the heat and how they are so sweaty and tired that there is no conceivable way they can continue to study later tonight. They also recognize you, and with a lightheartedness that more often occurs between friends of the same generation, they whine for your treats. You laugh as you hand the last pieces out, as you would when feeding cabbage bits to rabbits.
Upon your return home, the moon already having replaced the sun as the night’s guardian, you dismiss your guards, so you can bathe while the rest of the household eats. You much prefer solitude when you are in a vulnerable state, and your ladies-in-waiting are no exception to this preference, even if they are no stranger to a woman’s body. Sat on a stool, you strip yourself, letting all the layers collapse in a disheveled pile, and remove any pins and beaded strings from your hair. By now, your servants have become familiar with your ways, so there is already steaming water in the bronze bathtub, so you directly step in and submerge yourself up until your neck.
The hot water is not very pleasant against your warm skin, but you stay regardless, as spring evenings can still be unforgiving and biting. You watch as the water sloshes against the solid walls of the tub, causing the steam to waver before resuming its vertical ascendance, and do nothing even when a few splashes escape and drip down the exterior. After all, this time is allotted for you to think, nothing more. Your thoughts are preoccupied with declining trade with farmers outside of the Capital, many citing long-lasting droughts and fires as primary culprits, and there have been a sharp incline of those suffering from heat strokes and asthma. Some have even mentioned hallucinations of more than a single sun in the sky, and while you are not one to be affected by superstitious or mythical stories, you do find it odd that there have been multiple accounts of such a phenomenon from various distinct folks. These are pieces of information you must report to Mydei, though it is too early to draw any actionable conclusions.
You arise from your bath half an hour later, when the water has simmered down to a lukewarm. You dry yourself, adorn a simple beige gown with a matching robe over it, and make your way to the kitchen. By the moon’s position, if all goes smoothly, your husband should return in about two hours, more than enough for you to prepare his dinner.
Although you are not obligated to cook, you have sensed Mydei’s hesitation when it comes to consuming food that is prepared by those he is unfamiliar with. He trusts you and the villagers, but many of your household’s servants are from the Capital or elsewhere. Therefore, for both his sanity and safety, you have taken on the responsibility to provide him meals so that he may eat in peace at home. Besides, it is also an opportunity for the two of you to simply be together.
Just as you have set the last plate onto the dining table, Mydei returns, lamellar plates thunking and chain mail jostling with every heavy step he takes. It is a heaviness that resounds in your heart, for it is a reflection of his fatigue and, more importantly, the weight of the responsibilities he bears.
He does not come to greet you, not yet. He does not like appearing in front of you with his armor still on. He wants to avoid bringing in the stench of blood and grief into this abode he shares with you – does not want to taint you, his person of comfort and solace, with the violence you have no desire to take part in. Though, try as he might, deep down he knows it is to no avail, as his hands, the same ones he uses to touch and feel you, are already stained with death.
In the small shed, surprisingly compact and spare for a master of many weapons, he shrugs everything off with laborious groans. As each weighted iron slab and scratchy sheet of chain mail drops to the ground, Mydei lavishes in the slow regain of freedom in his movement. Lastly, he pulls off his helmet, and with a quick rub of his sleeve against a permanent smudge, he sets it on top of a drawer that contains duplicates of his uniform, first aid, and short daggers. He does not linger, and instead, swivels around to head to where you are.
When Mydei rounds the corner to stand in front of the kitchen entrance, double doors swung wide open, he cannot help but pause in his tracks, just a few paces away from joining you at the table in the center of the room. You peer at him from your seat, your chin resting in a divot formed by your palms, and also observe him, his face shrouded in shadows.
It is not so much a staring contest as it is a reverent yearning for one another. For no reason at all, it seems the two of you have a habit of practicing restraint – hesitation – before allowing yourselves to indulge in each other.
Come sit beside me.
I will. Let me admire you first.
And so you wait.
From Mydei’s perspective, you are the most beautiful at this time of the night. It is not to say that you are not in the morning, when you are still slumbering beside him with your hands splayed across his bare chest, or when you are pinned underneath him, a sinful image of you in your most disheveled state – his stained robe splayed out underneath your figure, your lungs heaving with pitched whines, your knees trembling with indecision as you fail to choose between spreading yourself open so that he can enter deeper or closing, and thereby restricting his movement, because the pleasure is unbearable. You are always his most precious, but he believes you are at your best when you are working towards an objective. And since your marriage, you have honored his same priority in protecting his people, and he will forever admire this determination of yours.
Truthfully, he never required such a sense of responsibility in his wife. In fact, before he met you, he had never imagined shouldering this duty with anyone else, let alone a stranger from somewhere far beyond. But you are no longer a stranger, and now, during your shared dinners, you are able to speak of this place as if you grew up here, alongside him and all the other villagers. You speak with incredible depth and acute intuition, and fortified by the precision and clarity in your words, he cannot help but think that, despite your personal aversions towards leadership and confrontation, you deserve to stand beside him in the ranks.
The oil lamps and candles on the dining table brighten your face with a gentle golden glow. He can see the flames’ flickering in your eyes, and behind you, he can hear the crackle of smoldering wood and charcoal. He walks over and takes a seat beside you, noticing the faint traces of fire and herbs that linger in your hair and at your shoulders. Pressing the side of his thigh against yours, he picks up his chopsticks and begins to eat, a gesture for you to initiate the conversation.
There is noticeable delay. We can no longer ignore the growing connection between the slowdown of trade with the recurring delusions of multiple suns in the sky.
Do you think it could be divine punishment?
If we had incurred the wrath of Tian, we would have long suffered, and the Emperor would have justified the recent happenings. Our deities have no interest or patience for prolonged torture.
We will need to wait then. We need to know more, or else we will be searching in vain.
No.
You set down your bowl and look straight ahead, peering outside at the courtyard – or rather, at a point somewhere beyond the walls of the courtyard. Mydei can feel your presence wax and wane, expand and recede, until it settles down into a light thrum, akin to the tranquil qi of lotus petals and mossy creeks. He can still see you, without a doubt, but he knows that if he had not been in this room with you right now, he would have never been able to find you here without incredible effort.
It is magical, truly, how you can quiet your presence. In his many years of training and fighting, he has met only a handful of incredible soldiers who can do the same. He was only able to gain this ability himself after maturing as a person and facing the near-death consequences of overwhelming, unbound bloodlust in the midst of combat. That is not to claim that you did not learn in the same ways, but he cannot confirm nor deny because, for better or worse, you never speak of the past. Otherwise, outside of the army, he only knows of the high priests and priestesses that can also adopt a kind of otherworldly aura during their rituals and prayers.
He chews slowly, more preoccupied with observing your profile. Your features are unperturbed, essentially blank, and there is an unfocused fog in your eyes, sharply distinct from the ambition burning within your irises at the beginning of dinner. You shiver, probably to your own ignorance, and he places his things down so he can take off his robe and wrap your shoulders with it. To his surprise, and contentment, you instinctively lean over to rest your shoulder against his without disrupting your thoughts. Just as you wait for him, he waits for you.
By the time the shortest of the three candles, once a sixth of its original length, is about to extinguish, you come to, and the light in your eyes returns as well.
Innate divinity – not to be conflated with the ability to call forth divine powers or forces – is only granted to a few select individuals. More than likely, there will be no need to search the common folk.
Let us begin at the Palace.
Will the Emperor take to this idea?
Perhaps he already has conjectures of his own. I shall request an audience.
Divinity is an intricate, mysterious subject. Deeply embedded in the belief systems and cultural underpinnings of this Holy Nation, most people are naturally mesmerized and fearful of Tian’s deities and their abilities. Even those who are born with divine abilities, namely the Emperor and a select few of his children, and those who can invoke divinity through sacred objects and incantations, such as priests, priestesses, and monks, advise all to be cautious of incurring heavenly wrath.
When you first heard of the hallucinations, you thought it to be the aftershocks of severe heatstroke. Then, when many more farmers and traders began to verify the sighting of various suns, it became clear that the divine was involved because, when individuals who have no capacity for divinity are exposed to these mystical forces, their minds and behaviors can be continuously affected. That must mean they must have come in contact with a mythic beast or creature.
The deities are known for having many children and several other distant brethren, some of which exist on the earth, roaming around as Buddhist guardians, such as the regal Dapengs, or man-eating snake monsters, the most infamous being the nine-headed Jiuying that terrorized seafarers for decades until Mydei slayed it. In this case, an immediate possibility was the return of the boar demon Feng Xi who often wreaked havoc upon farmlands. Feng Xi was also subdued by your husband a few years ago, but it would be no surprise if it were to appear again, typical of the inexplicable nature of divine beasts. But upon investigations of the ruined farmlands by their respective prefectural ministers, there were no signs of terrifying waste or death, only the usual symptoms of a long-lasting drought and ashy remains from fires caused by unrelenting dry winds. With further consideration, you also know that it is impossible, from personal observations and experiences, to invoke a heavenly force powerful – brutal – enough to cause a disaster of this magnitude. In other words, by process of elimination, the problem has to either be the direct doing of a human blessed with divinity or, even worse, a creature or deity from Tian themselves.
You can only hope it is not the latter.
Your concern must be showing on your face, as Mydei leans over to rub his thumb firmly against the apple of your cheek.
No more. Come back to me.
You nod, knowing when to be obedient. When Mydei speaks to you in this tone, sympathetic yet earnest, you know he is looking out for you, grounding you before you can fully lose yourself. While you have impressive mental strength and foresight, you lack an attachment to the present, and without supervision, there is a very real risk of you drifting far, far away, disappearing as you once did when you were young.
Your husband takes you by the hand and guides you back to your shared bedroom. The brief walk is silent, save for your footsteps and the occasional greeting from a guard. The two of you part momentarily when you enter the chamber, as Mydei heads to the side to open the window screens to allow streams of moonlight into the room, while you take your seat on the center of the bed. It is not cold even as a slight breeze filters into the room, for his robe still shields your back and shoulders. However, you elect to take it off, and Mydei watches you strip, not just his clothing but also your layers underneath, from where he is standing.
The moon always manages to cast a romantic light on all that it befalls, and through the midst of your moans, his pants, and the joining of your bodies, over and over and over again, it generously extends its rays so that the two of you are able to have a clear view of each other in your otherwise pitch black room. Surprisingly, there is also a warmth to the moonlight, a soothing and comforting quality to it, that makes you feel as if time is passing slower than it actually is. In this prolonged moment, you can pinpoint every single movement and sensation between you and Mydei – his steeled grip around the base of your neck as he presses you tightly against his chest, the curling of your toes with every deep thrust, the crescendo of his heartbeat against yours. In this room, there is only you and him, isolated and ignorant to the rest of the world – the universe, even –, and defying all rules of space and physics, you solely focus on extending the present for as long as you can, while Mydei struggles to convey to you just how deeply obsessed and enamored he is with you. No one can intervene in this proud, unabashed act of intimacy, and if either you or Mydei dared, both of you would even describe your shared bond as sacred. And, especially for you, you know to not use that word so carelessly.
And when Mydei lays you down to peel off your legs and instead press them down, as close to your ears as possible, he goes impossibly harder and deeper. In this space, there are only the two of you, though you are only seeing him, and he is only seeing you. There are no thoughts or even carnal desires, just a fundamental appreciation and unconditional loving for the other. You whimper – my love – as he presses his sweat-stricken forehead against yours, and he responds with a passionate roll of his hips and a scathing bite that draws blood at your left shoulder. With your arms wrapped around his head, you keep him there and leave him with no choice but to continue making love to you until you unravel at your climax with your teeth clenching, thighs shaking, mind spinning, soul soaring. Mydei soon follows, piercing his nails into your hips to mark you on the outside, releasing within you to mark you on the inside, and between labored rasps of your name, he smears his lips and tongue over yours in hopes of memorizing your addictive taste, your delighted sounds, and your passionate touch.
The two of you stay intertwined, even when neither of you are reeling from the impact of your highs. To part would be to abandon this private realm, which would mean returning to your normal tendencies of hesitance and restraint, and even though all of this will repeat once again tomorrow, you lack the patience to wait, still imprisoned in the moon’s warped, elongated trajectories of time and space.
Despite your defiance, the two of you fall asleep, consumed by wariness and longing, and another day of your life passes.
–
The Emperor has ten sons and countless more daughters. Today marks the seventeenth birthday of the fourth prince, and as expected, it is a grand event. Earlier, at the celebration’s reception, there were hundreds of dancers in neat rows, all flicking their sleeves and arching their fingertips to the rhythm of the Capital’s grand orchestra, also perfectly organized and harmonious as a whole. Following the conclusion of the performance, guards, servants, and lower-ranking officials dash back and forth and around the expanse of the Palace to ensure the undeterred progression of the fourth prince’s birthday party, while higher-ranking officials and generals, along with their accompanying guests, mill about before filing to their respective seats along the two columns of tables laid out parallel to the walls of the central courtyard. In the center front, there is a raised stage with a constructed overhang large enough to accommodate the Emperor, the Empress Dowager, and all ten sons. The platform and steps are entirely covered by a luxurious red carpet with golden floral patterns, and from Mydei’s seat, you can marvel at the delicate porcelain dishware set on top of masterfully carved wooden countertops. You are not used to such lavish displays of wealth and luxury because, although Mydei has long been one of the Emperor’s most loyal and trustworthy generals, that does not necessarily mean you are invited to visit the Palace often. Therefore, as the two of you wait for the birthday ceremony to officially begin, you try to sit as still as possible in order to marvel and take in your surroundings.
During this period, many governmental and bureaucratic figures visit your and Mydei’s seat to say their greetings and make elucidating small talk. Despite assuming his role as one of the Holy Nation’s protectors, your husband cannot abandon certain pet peeves of his, and he shuts down all but one of these conversations with dry responses that reveal nothing of his thoughts or opinions. The only official that he properly responds to is the Head of the Security Bureau, a man by the name of Phainon. From past dinner conversations, you remember Mydei mentioning this man but with the questionable nickname “Deliverer” instead. It was in reference to Phainon’s previous position under the Central Secretariat, though the reason behind his transfer to the Security Bureau continues to remain a secret even to your husband. Regardless, it is obvious that Mydei only tolerates this man at best, so you make sure to listen intently to their conversation.
Mydei! Rare to see you so festive!
It is Mydeimos for you, Deliverer.
Ha, yes, of course.
What is the Security Bureau doing here? What happened to keeping a low profile?
No worries, it is only me, and almost everyone here still believes I remain under the Secretariat. I am also here because I have news to share with you.
Hurry, then.
Phainon does not, though. He hums and begins to look around the courtyard. For a moment, you sense his gaze, but it does not linger for more than a full second. With a shake of his head, your husband sighs and takes deep gulps of water to keep himself preoccupied until the Security Head finally carries on.
He will want to speak to you, when it is your turn to congratulate the prince.
Regarding what?
But Phainon shrugs, and this time, there is no hint of evasion or distance. He truly does not know. But he does leave Mydei with one last piece of instruction.
You will be last in line.
After a few more teasing remarks, Phainon bids the two of you farewell, and from your periphery, you watch him disappear from the south gate.
Before dinner, all of the officials present are to line up in terms of rank and nobility, and, one by one, greet the Emperor, Empress Dowager, and the princes, as well as present their gifts. As per military customs, Mydei requested a new sword sheath of untarnished gold be made for the fourth prince, to represent unwavering courage and honorable victory, so that shall be your offering. However, these interactions usually do not last for more than a few minutes, the last ones usually even more rushed, to ensure that everyone gets their turn and are not too irritated by mealtime, so you wonder how exactly the Emperor will relay his message. Furthermore, you find it suspicious that Phainon requested your husband, one of the generals under direct supervision of the Emperor, to place himself last.
Alas, you find yourself in another situation where you cannot draw sound conclusions. But now that Phainon has left and no other officials have the gall to approach Mydei, you can actually enjoy the ongoing celebrations with your husband.
You fill his tea cup and then yours, though you take a sip first. When you look up at him, he nods in affirmation before drinking himself. The walls, you notice, are a rustic red-brown, though much of it has been covered up by the willows and persimmon trees that were moved specifically for tonight’s event. Scattered between the trunks of the trees are gathered shrubs of all kinds, from batches of orange peonies to short stalks of bamboo to clusters of purple asters. You wonder if you could bring back a few roots or seeds with you, but with one sharp glance from Mydei, you discard the idea immediately.
Your husband knows that you are bored, though, so he offers some reprieve.
There are rumors that the fourth prince might not even make it to his own birthday party.
I am not surprised. I have heard the Emperor’s sons are quite rowdy.
I believe Phainon is here to ensure that all of the princes arrive on time and participate through its entirety. I must say, it is quite entertaining to see him chase after a few brats.
Mydei.
Do not worry. The Emperor is understanding. Besides, I am sure he wholeheartedly agrees at the current moment.
Oh?
Mydei raises his chin, staring up at the night sky. It is hard to make out any one star due to the outstanding numbers of torches, lamps, and fires distributed around the courtyard, but it is not like Mydei was looking at the stars in the first place. The two of you are different in this way. You often seek the world when you think, looking outwards for celestial signs, while Mydei often becomes more introspective with his musings. Even when it looks like he is searching for something, he most likely is not, as he believes all of the answers he needs are usually, perhaps with some effort required, within one’s grasp.
Phainon has aided our investigations of the Palace. He is confident that the culprit is not to be found here.
Your fist digs into the sleeves of your gown.
There are not even signs of collusion?
You know the deities would never stoop to that level. They do not need the help of mortal intelligence or treachery. Regardless, the Emperor has been made aware of the situation, and is quite preoccupied with it. His sons’ constant running about and lack of any sort of drive or initiative is certainly not doing him any good either.
Pursing your lips, you glance at your husband, only to find him already staring at you.
Fear not, my wife. I have slain products of the divine before.
His eyes seem to glow with fierce intensity. The red and orange streaks in his eyes are more noticeable, not because of the myriad torches surrounding your table, but rather because his eyes are widening out of enthusiasm. You scowl, disapproving of his evident bloodthirstiness, yet despite your opposing morals, you slip a hand into his hold. By instinct, he begins to press at the pads of your fingertips, while rubbing circles into your palm. If it were any other day, any other moment, his physical affection would soothe and reassure you. Unfortunately, as Mydei has just confirmed the worst of your suspicions, the fear taking root in the pit of your stomach has already begun to sprout and overwhelm the rest of your emotions.
Surely there is no need to jump into a fight.
Huh, you propose a negotiation? Our deities already know what the consequences of their actions are – they do not care to change their ways, even with such knowledge. What makes you think their minds are still susceptible to reconsideration?
Perhaps some of them do care.
Your husband snorts. To be honest, he is a little surprised by your response. Neither of you are particularly devout, and throughout his many years of knowing you at this point, he knows you are not fond of the divine. So for you to defend them, to the extent of betting on their fickle and spare goodwill, is unusual.
It is not up to me, my wife. I act based on what the Emperor asks of me.
Something in you – a gut instinct, a trained intuition – tells you that you will find out the Emperor’s decision by tonight.
After another half hour, composed of more light-hearted conversation and small bites of snacks to whet your appetite, a gong finally sounds, its ringing reverberating throughout the entirety of the Palace. You feel your bones quake with each vibration, and only after its last echoes have died off does your body regain stillness. The Emperor’s secretary makes his way to the center of the stage, and with a deep bow, commands everyone to rise for the Imperial Family. Everyone stands and bows, faces parallel to the floor, until all members of the Imperial Family settle into their seats, which the secretary confirms several minutes later. Afterwards, you all line up.
Other officials have curious looks on their faces as they see you and Mydei turn away from the stage. One even asks where the two of you are headed, wondering if you have lost your minds and are intent on abandoning the ceremony, but neither of you respond and continue toward the back of the line.
You and Mydei do not speak for the entire hour that it takes for your turn to come. The whole time, nervous and intimidated stares are directed your way, but both of you could care less, simply standing side by side, close enough for your sleeves to brush against and overlap each other.
When the rest of the officials have returned to their seats, only you and Mydei remain, standing a few feet away from the steps that lead up to the raised platform. With a nod from the secretary, Mydei leads you forward, always a step ahead, and when the two of you stand level with the Imperial Family, you get on your knees and raise your clasped hands in front of your dipped heads.
Good evening, your Highnesses. Congratulations to the Fourth Prince, for reaching his seventeenth birthday. We hope the prince continues to live a prosperous, fortunate, and long life, and I present this sword sheath, a product of the finest metals and months’ worth of labor, a tool that we hope he will use as he prepares to lead this Holy Nation. We pay our deepest respects to the Imperial Family.
An attendant takes the sheath from Mydei’s outstretched arms. Usually, one would be dismissed shortly after presenting their gift, but the secretary has yet to tell either of you to rise. Instead, you hear the sound of a chair’s legs rubbing against the carpet’s fur, along with padded footsteps that stop right in front of your husband.
General Mydeimos, you have done incredibly in serving me, and ultimately, this Holy Nation. Your loyalty is not to be questioned.
You recognize this voice. It is jaded yet firm, gentle but irrefutable. The Emperor is telling you his decision.
I want to make an announcement to all that are present, to heed my intent and my resolve. This Holy Nation has coexisted with and lived under the guidance of Tian, but it has not always been a harmonious or even peaceful endeavor. As Emperor, it is my sworn duty, an oath I have undertaken since the day of my inauguration, to protect my people, including all of you, and I can promise you that, throughout these many years under my rule, Tian and I are connected and that I have been in constant search to make a more serene coexistence – a symbiosis, if you will – possible. However –
It seems the Palace and everything within it unanimously sucks in a quavering breath.
– it has become apparent that the heavens have no interest in granting us such serenity. Of course, by no means is this speech of mine a declaration of war or defiance. Rather, I believe this burden I am about to share with you is, in fact, a challenge for this Holy Nation, and one that will be undertaken by a representative of my choosing: Mydeimos. General Mydeimos, please rise.
As much as you would love to raise your head and stare at Mydei like everyone else, you have not been granted permission to lift your head, so you can only continue to heed the Emperor’s message carefully, trying to discern any subtle implications while continuing to pay attention to the words that follow.
For the many years that he has served me, General Mydeimos has become a pillar in the Holy Nation’s defenses. He has slain many of Tian’s earthbound descendants, protecting this land from the destruction of loose spirits and evil demons. Under his watchful gaze, he had confirmed the prophetic fragments I was receiving from Tian, that it is part of this Holy Nation’s fate that we are to face our doom if we remain motionless and ignorant. My people, hear me now, and listen to me carefully, as this message of mine is not meant to inflict any unnecessary fear or anxiety. However, the heavens have told me, as I am telling you, that if nothing is done, the entire world will be burned to its core by the manifestation of ten suns. No human, no animal, no plant will survive the onslaught of ten more suns, no ocean or lake or sea can withstand the fire of ten more suns, not even Tian’s earthbound descendants will be spared.
For this most inauspicious prophecy, I must apologize, on behalf of my ten sons, for their continuous mischief and negligence have been deemed the cause of this impending tragedy. Indeed, Tian has whispered as such in my mind. This Holy Nation deeply understands the various attitudes our deities have towards humans. Some are indifferent, some are intensely curious. It seems this impending tragedy has come about from the latter. My ten sons, this Holy Nation’s royal princes, have inspired the same mischief and negligence in ten of Yudi’s sons. They aspire to experience the same carefree play that my sons have gone away with – escaping the Palace, tricking the innocent to satisfy their personal greed, disappearing for extended periods of time. This behavior has never been acceptable in the Imperial Family, yet despite our fervent attempts to curb their behaviors, Yudi’s sons have already seen enough.
There is now more than one sun in the sky, there is no mistake to that. We will continue to see more and more suns appear, and by the tenth, we will all perish. We must not cast doubt on this matter anymore, because the severity of this issue is life-threatening.
But, again, need I remind all that are present that I do not wish to embed an unjustified sense of fear or anxiety in any of you. The reason I have called upon all of you is because I would like all that are present to bear witness to this heavenly oath that General Mydeimos will take.
You cannot help but gasp, a sharp, harsh intake of breath that almost causes you to sputter and cough. But, even when the world feels like it is falling down on you, you manage to bear the pain, and you stifle it with tears gathering in your burning eyes.
General Mydeimos, there is no end to your remarkable feats in the military, and we are grateful for all that you have done. However, this ask of mine is one of a difficulty I can promise you have never faced before, and you must know, it could be the last task you ever undertake. Knowing all of the risks, I still ask you to take the following oath: I, General Mydeimos, under the watchful eye of the people of this Holy Nation, the Emperor, and all of Tian who are interested, I pledge to take down all but one of the suns, even at the cost of my own life.
It feels impossible to breathe. It seems, no matter how you try to escape, how far you run away, or where you disappear to, the divine will always catch up to you, pulling you away from your loved ones, and the other way around. Hot streams of tears pour down your cheeks, and the only way to prevent yourself from making any noise is to bite down on your lower lip, until your jaws are locking and your teeth are piercing through the thin flesh. Your clasped hands shudder violently, not only from the exhaustion of holding them up for so long, but also from how tightly they are gripping onto each other. Your knuckles are without a doubt strained, and your fingernails are digging into the backs of your hands. Your ears ring with deafening silence, while straining to hear Mydei’s response, yet you also do not want to listen, fearful because you know that, even if he had a choice, he would always agree to a brutal fight.
Without a beat of hesitation, your husband, chief of your village, a general of this Holy Nation, speaks.
I, General Mydeimos, under the watchful eye of the people of this Holy Nation, the Emperor, and all of Tian who are interested, I pledge to take down all but one of the suns, even at the cost of my own life.
Despite the crescendo of applause, the drums, the gong, you hear nothing. You are not sure how it is that you manage to bow to the Emperor, make your way down from the stage, and return to your seat alongside Mydei’s, but to be honest, you do not care how you did any of those things. All you can think about is that, once again, your loved one is being separated from you, all because of the heavens and the divine, and even if his hand is clutching onto yours at this moment, so tight that you can no longer feel the tips of your fingers or the center of your palm, he has never felt farther away.
–
There is no more of your routine with Mydei. He is taken away at the end of the birthday party to begin making preparations for his conquest, leaving you to return to the village alone. He does not visit, can only make time to send concise messages, but he does promise you that he will return the night before he is scheduled to leave.
This is not Mydei’s first conquest, but it is his first conquest that you are dreading, to say the least. It is difficult to encapsulate the extent of your mental anguish because the resurfacing of past traumas, of memories you are insistent on forgetting, is a dark, murky sensation. It is asphyxiating, but you do not know that you are being choked until it is too late, past the point of return. You are no different from a sleeping mouse in the coiled chokehold of a starving snake, and there is nothing to save you, not even to witness your death. Part of you knows this is a globalization of an internal anxiety, as Mydei has not been slain. He is well and alive presently, but that does not answer your deepest concern: will he survive? Even if you sought out divine signals as you had once routinely done over a decade ago, you have been taught that it is taboo to seek the fate of an individual. Fate can be consulted for villages, the weather, long-term wealth, but to determine the death of somebody, even an important figure, is strongly discouraged as there is no use in disturbing one’s mind over a matter that has been set in stone since the birth of this universe.
Not that any of that is relevant. You are sure the divine, even the weakest of Tian’s spirits, would not heed your call, would pay no mind to a trivial woman that had, a long time ago, abandoned her position as a high priestess, and in turn, her prolific ability to invoke divinity. Had you remained at the convent and grown into your role as high priestess, perhaps only then would they give you a fraction of their time, but then, in that case, you would not be praying for Mydei’s safety, but rather for the protection of this Holy Nation as a whole.
There is no particular reason for why you have hidden your past from Mydei or the villagers, other than to save face. After all, no one would believe in the loyalty or commitment of a traitor. Regardless, now that there is established trust, you staunchly believe there is no need to share distasteful matters, like your pathetic past. At this moment, everyone should prioritize Mydei, as well as ensuring the operations of the village during his absence.
Mydei finds you not in the dining room, but in his office at his desk, with a candelabra burning away, as if you are prepared to work the whole night. You are combing through a few scrolls that were once shelved, the old texts he used to pore over when he was training to become village chief. It is not that you are a stranger to their contents or to the duties of the village chief. It is simply that, when you are uneasy, you tend to return to the very basics, to instill confidence within yourself that there is a logical rationale behind your actions and decisions. He knocks on the office doors and watches through the parted screen window as you scramble up from your seat from surprise. He chuckles, but had there been any listeners, they would know those were half-hearted at best.
We need to talk.
It is comforting, though, that there remain some things that will never change. Even if you are not honest, Mydei will always face you with a straightforward attitude, and compared to before, he feels more present, confirming that he is, in fact, standing in front of you, when he loops your arm through his. You let him guide you away from the office and to your shared bedroom, where you can, for the last time in a while, immerse yourselves in this space dedicated only to the two of you.
On the bed, he pulls you into a tight, engulfing embrace. With his chest molded against your arched back, his legs spread out to barricade your form, his chin atop your left shoulder where the bite mark once was, the two of you parse through all and any matters.
There will be a caravan arriving in a month’s time.
The north west gate needs to be rebuilt.
We should consider extending trade to some of the towns in the south.
You will miss it when the peaches are in season.
Be sure to visit Grandma Li. She tends to forget to take her medication.
Do not forget to rest your arm. Feng Meng will not take it easy on you, even if you are his general and him your soldier. You will always be his master first.
When you need me, look up at the moon, because I will also be gazing at it. Never forget that we are forever under the same sky.
The moonlight is especially consoling that night. Unlike his usual tendencies to dominate and overwhelm, your husband lets you set the pace, and atop him, he watches you surge up and down, the moon’s beams illuminating your damp skin, your parted lips, and your glossed eyes. Your breasts, hips, thighs ripple with every unforgiving drop of your body onto his, and his cock pierces you deeply in turn, reaching and hitting spots that cause you to see stars. He never fails to make you feel fulfilled, but tonight, you are voracious, and you just want more, more, more of him. You want to embed pieces of yourself into his body, so that throughout his campaign, no matter how long it lasts, he will never once waver when he thinks back to your touch, your scent, your love. As you continue riding him, you run your hands over his sturdy form, letting your fingers trace the divots of his muscles, the fat of his chest, the red streaks of tattoo that paint his arms. It is also so that you will never forget, drawing an illustrative map of his body so that in your times of loneliness, anxiety, and want, you also have something of his to depend upon. Perhaps you have forgotten how to live without your husband, but that is a subject for introspection later. In the present, you decide to accelerate your movements and apply more force with every exerted rise and fall.
Eventually, you collapse forward because by no means do you have as much stamina as your husband, but you urge yourself to push forward nonetheless and resort to more shallow lifts and dramatic swirls of your hips. With your face buried against the underside of his chin, you begin to mouth at his neck and Adam’s apple, the rumble of his groans and hisses traveling and vibrating straight through the thin skin of your lips. When it looks like your husband’s exhibiting a significant amount of restraint, with the way his head keeps shaking side to side and his hands grip onto your thighs with shackling strength, you cannot help but smirk, ready to give him his release that he is so desperately delaying. You litter a line of kisses down to his collarbones, and after a few laves of your tongue, as if to smooth and placate him, you bite down, sinking your teeth into the juncture where his neck and shoulders meet, clamping down so hard with the intent to punish, to instill guilt, to kill his fighting spirit.
Normally, you would never do such a thing. You have no interest in tying your partner down or forcing them to sacrifice the people and things they love and enjoy. But since he has granted you so much selfishness already, you might as well go the full way and make him really understand the state he has put you in. For, even upon reflection, you know it in your bare, raw soul that you will never know life without your husband. Where he goes, you follow. If he is alive, you will be, too. But if he were to die, then your time will also have come.
Your husband cries out loud with a wild shout of your name, arms flying to enclose themselves around your figure out of both surprise and overstimulation, and with a spontaneous jerk of his hip upwards, his cock collides with your core and slams into that spot, the one that always has you ripping apart at the seams and screaming for mercy, pulling you up to your euphoric high with him. Ironically, it feels as if you are falling from Tian, soaring through the sky while being unable to breathe, a coursing pleasure followed by a stinging, bittersweet pang. You do not even realize you are sobbing until your husband muffles your wails with his mouth, swallowing your grief and despair down with his own fears, of which he definitely has but will never voice.
Mydei is not used to seeing you so sentimental. You are more aloof and reserved, so he is not as practiced with handling your outbursts as he should be. But even he knows that this torrential surging of your emotions is really a broken heart personified. You need him to know that your heart is being torn and cracked and smashed by the inevitable reality of his leave, and he knows you are telling him that only he can fix you by coming back in one piece and with a sound mind.
For the remainder of the night, he holds you impossibly closer, one hand always keeping your face to his chest, the other always wound around your waist, his legs always tangled with yours. And before he falls asleep, he looks out the window, gazing up at a sliver of the starry sky, and prays to the moon to cast its gentle, assuring light upon you every dusk he is gone. Despite his personal gripes with the divine, he is convinced that, with the way it has never failed to make you look so mesmerizing and delicate underneath its glow, the moon will continue to bask you with its nurture and protection for as long as it takes for him to return, and he is soothed by that thought, because someone needs to look out for you in his absence.
By the early dawn, he is ready to leave. The two of you stand at the entrance to your abode, and with a chaste kiss to your forehead, he finally parts from you, distancing himself in slow motion. You watch, rooted to your spot, as he gets on his horse, relishes in one last longing gaze, and sets off. He rides away without looking back, and when he is out of sight, you, too, return to your bedroom without even the faintest sign of indecision or doubt.
–
Mydei returns not the following summer, but the summer after, right when the peach blossoms have begun shedding to make way for the green buds that will, in two to three weeks’ time, fruit. There is no fanfare or parade, not even an announcement to notify you of his arrival. In fact, for the little over two years since his departure, you were not informed of any aspect of his campaign from official channels. It did not matter, though, when everyone was able to keep track of his progress with every morning that passed.
Barely a month after his leave, you woke up with sweat soaking through your clothes and blankets, as if you had remained in a bath with your clothes on for several hours. You made it a habit to leave your windows open every night, but had you woken up that morning any later, you would have been sunburnt to the point of permanent scarring from the three suns that were just beginning to rise in the sky, their unrelenting heat scorching everything that happened to soak in its light. You got up and warned everyone in the household to remain indoors, and perilously, you took not one, but two, thickly lined parasols with you as you made your way through the village to issue warnings and usher those that were outside back into their homes. The flowers that you had tended to just the other afternoon were already wilting, dehydrated, and you goaded the rabbits from their hole with a trail of fruits and leaves to another you had haphazardly dug where there was everlasting shade.
Later on, you would hear that Mydei had first tried to negotiate with Yudi’s sons, telling them to fulfill their appetite for mischief with something else, but given the inconsistencies in the rumors, it is not clear whether the sons ignored or denied the general’s demands. It seems that Mydei’s attempt at swaying their minds only further encouraged them to follow through with their plan, and Yudi’s sons began to wreak havoc shortly afterwards. As a result, it became a hunt, one that required Mydei and his troop to race around the Holy Nation in search of each of Yudi’s kin. Mydei and his men could only attack at night, when the sons had left their daytime posts to make way for the moon, but they never came down together, instead settling in different parts of the Holy Nation.
The information you managed to garner, in the form of riveting tales and dubiously trustworthy gossip, either came from the village children’s eavesdropping or the occasional letter from Phainon, which he sent under personal regards. There never was an explanation for why you were kept in the dark, and you never bothered to ask either, because what good would it do for you? Had your husband been slain, you and everyone else in the world would have known already, and you need not entertain excessive hope. All you had to do was see if you could wake to another day.
The worst occurred a year and a half into Mydei’s journey, when there were six suns in the sky at once, their brightness bleeding out even the pure blue of the space beyond. Everybody stayed indoors and covered every possible crack or opening to prevent sunlight from leaking in, but not without the cost of broiling within their own rooms. On days when it was more possible to venture outside, you and your guards had to visit the occasional house to pull out dead bodies, smelling of decaying rot, feces, and steam, and bury them before even their right to a dignified burial was stolen by Yudi’s kin. And this was not a problem exclusive to your village. The Palace began to ring a large gong, three resonating beats, at noon every day to honor the growing number of victims, and there was a national decree for every home to light incense and perform daily prayers during the early evenings to beg for Tian’s interference.
Of course, nobody from Tian ever responded, but it seemed as if Mydei had sensed his people’s tortured cries, and from that point onwards, the suns continue to be felled, one after the other, until only one remained, the same sun that has stood with the earth since the very beginning.
You are in his office when your head lady-in-waiting calls out your title with excited raps against the paneled doors.
My Lady! You must come! Someone has come for you!
You are on your feet immediately, and you almost knock her over when you burst through the doors.
However, you are not greeted by your husband. Rather, it is another familiar face that greets you with a toothy grin and a proud hand saluted at his head.
We have made it back, safe and sound!
You cannot help but throw your arms around the man’s neck, hugging him without reprieve for air. His arms do not reciprocate, for it is inappropriate for a man to demonstrate affection towards a taken woman, but by his hearty laughs, you know he is overjoyed by your reaction.
Where is your master, Feng Meng?
In the Capital, reporting to the Emperor. I have come to fetch you, Madam, to attend his ceremony! You must hurry!
Without another thought, you and your servants rush to dress you. There are flurries of orange sashes, twirling skirts with golden beads sewn at the waist, the clicking of green jade against white jade, and in no later than ten minutes, you are in an oxcart that speeds its way to the Palace.
It is extremely difficult to get to the Palace. First, all entrances to the Capital are at a standstill, bottlenecked by a flood of traffic composed of several donkeys, horses, and merchant carts. The inside of the Capital fares no better – in fact, made worse by all of the pedestrians, street-side shops, and narrow paths. It is only after your cart finally pushes its way through the long lines and leaves the more populated and mercantile neighborhoods that the traffic disperses, and then it is an orderly journey to the Palace. When the guards ask for the purpose of your visit, Feng Meng simply needs to flash the handle of his sword, and you are directed to enter through the back gates, typically only reserved for guests of honor.
You swallow thickly from the infinite, various thoughts swirling in your mind. Will he have scars etching every corner of his body? Will he be several shades tanner? Is his hair an unruly length, or has he cut, or worse, singed it short? Is he a changed person, more violent in demeanor or fatigued from excessive stress? You do not plan on bombarding him with your questions, as he is probably answering plenty from government officials and the Emperor himself, but you also cannot guarantee that you will be able to restrain yourself. Though, the more you think about it, you are not sure how you should react when you see him. Should you wait for him to approach you, or should you take the initiative? Will he want to embrace you or keep you at a distance to give himself some space? How different is he from the man he was more than two years ago, and what will this current version of Mydei think of you when he sees you?
You fail to devise a plan by the time your cart comes to a stop and Feng Meng holds his elbow out to help you jump down. The Palace guards instruct you to wait with the other soldiers' wives, mothers, and fathers in the tea room around the corner, and Feng Meng directs you before he has to leave to prepare for the ceremony himself. You are unsure if Mydei will come to you as you wait in the tea room, so in the case that he does, you find a chair closest to the open entrance, and sit in perfect posture, still and quiet. The other people in the room are frantic, sharing the same questions and concerns you have, but requiring and taking advantage of the comfort of family to alleviate each other’s doubts and fears. You are reminded that neither you or Mydei have other family to turn to, only each other, and oddly enough, you become more optimistic.
All of you are in the tea room for two hours before a Palace guard comes to beckon the entire gathering to follow him. The guard guides all of you to your seats, near the back of the same courtyard you were in for the fourth prince’s seventeenth birthday party. This time, instead of two columns of tables, there are rows upon rows of people kneeling shoulder to shoulder, facing in the direction of the raised center stage. As per usual, the Imperial Family has yet to make their appearance, but they soon will after the highest-ranking officials finish taking their seats.
Finally, with the blaring sound of horns and gongs and drums, the award ceremony begins, and the Emperor, Empress Dowager, and the ten princes ascend their thrones. The secretary comes at the end of the line, and with a nod from the Emperor, the former begins his speech.
Today marks the official end of General Mydeimos’ campaign to defeat ten of Yudi’s sons. General Mydeimos and his men have returned victorious, and so, we host today’s ceremony in tribute to their bravery and success.
The crowd breaks into a clamoring of applause, a little more unruly due to the ecstatic and celebratory atmosphere.
We will present General Mydeimos and his troop of 62 surviving soldiers with honorable military status, in addition to multiple monetary benefits. We will also mourn the loss of the 138 soldiers, whose lives were lost throughout the campaign’s duration, with a funeral procession that will take place the following Saturday and Sunday. Families of the deceased will receive imperial support, and on behalf of this Holy Nation, we are indebted to the sacrifices you and your sons have made. More information regarding the funeral and compensation will be announced and distributed in the coming days. With that, we will begin by awarding the 62 soldiers.
A line of soldiers marches forth from behind you, and you closely observe them as they trod past you. Their faces are set and stern, and they are wearing their tattered armor, rusted and melted swords, bows, and spears held in place on their backs. You also notice several holding onto the solder in front of them, and with a closer look, you realize many of them have either a diminished or total loss of sight. As the line reaches the steps to the stage, the secretary begins calling out each name, handing every person when it is their turn a bronze badge with an engraved solar insignia and a hefty bag of riches. There is no applause, as silence is a way of demonstrating utmost attention and respect, until all the soldiers have been named and awarded. The survivors line up once again and seat themselves along the walls of the courtyard.
Then, an obedient hush falls across the crowd, all in anticipation of the true hero. You, too, suck in your breath, eyes darting around in search of your husband, the chief of your village, a general of this Holy Nation. With a deep breath, the secretary announces his presence in a booming, grand voice.
General Mydeimos, please enter!
Your abilities to speak, breathe, even think are stolen from you. It does not feel like reality when you see Mydei, his hair tied in a clean knot on the top of his head, a velvety black cape billowing behind his broad, intimidating figure, the metal blade of his glaive glinting fiercely underneath the rays of the single sun in the sky. Mydei spares nothing to the crowd, not a prideful smirk or disinterested glance, and simply kneels deeply when he makes his way in front of the Imperial Family.
The Emperor rises from his seat, and the secretary is prompted to narrate.
General Mydeimos, the Emperor would like to personally bestow you your rewards, for your incomparable feat in defeating Yudi’s sons, ten of Tian’s mightiest creations. On behalf of the Imperial Family, he would like to award you a ranking within the nobility and an accompanying northern estate in the Capital. Furthermore, your village will receive recovery aid from the government and many trade benefits. Thank you, once again, for your service.
The Emperor gestures for Mydei to stand, and attaches a noble badge onto the latter’s cloak. Mydei then turns around and bows to the crowd.
General Mydeimos, would you like to say anything, in light of your return and victorious conquest?
He sweeps his eyes across the hundreds of people in front of him before lifting his head and glaring up at the clear blue sky.
My men and I have returned, and the Holy Nation is safe. We are safe, and undefeated.
Through the thundering of applause, cheers, and cries, you tear up at the glorious sight of your husband. He is far away, not as far as he was these past two years, but still a fair distance away such that you cannot make out the features of his face. How blessed it is to live in the same world as him, you think, and it seems your undivided admiration of your husband causes you to accidentally rid yourself of your presence. Mydei’s head snaps to look in your direction, having sensed a change within the audience. He cannot see you individually, but he knows you are somewhere amongst that section of the crowd, and he nods his head, dipping his chin with solemn confidence. Then, he begins to make his way down the steps to take his leave.
That is, until a shiver runs down his spine, a gut instinct alerting him of a formidable presence, and he swivels around to look behind him as his hands reach for his glaive, only to be blinded by a shining white light. What is even more concerning is, as he tries to block the light from his view, he notices that there is no reaction from anyone else present – in fact, there is no sound at all. The light begins to retract on its own, and as Mydei blinks through his stunned vision, he sees that the secretary, the guards lining the bottom of the stairs, the officials sitting in the front rows of the audience – all of them are frozen in place, mouths open in mid-conversation, hands stuck beside their heads in dramatic gestures, eyes wide open, unblinking. The scenery has not changed one bit, aside from the fact that everyone and everything is unmoving, yet he can still sense the formidable presence surrounding him.
Oh, I thought it was just you and me.
A voice, coming from everywhere and nowhere, speaks. Suddenly, a familiar voice – your shout – pierces through the silent space.
Mydei!
He turns to where he once looked in the crowd and spots your standing figure. But before he can sprint to you, or call you over, the voice speaks again.
Forgive me, I do not mean to scare either of you. I had only intended to speak to Mydeimos, however.
With that, your body slumps over and drops onto the ground. Without hesitation, Mydei swings his glaive and, with a snarl, holds it out in front of himself, body poised to attack.
What did you do to my wife!
You cannot fight me, for I will not appear in front of you. As for your wife, I have put her to sleep. I only wish to speak to you.
Concerning what matter?
But the voice does not speak again, and instead, his glaive is replaced, and a ball appears in one hand.
What is this! Answer me!
An elixir of immortality, made of a blade of grass found only in Tian. If you ingest this elixir, it will grant you endless life, and you will become one of us. Take this as a sign of my gratitude.
Before he can respond, there is another flash of that same blinding white light from earlier, and the chaos of the courtyard returns, everything resuming their intended ways. Only the ball in his hand, the lack of his weapon, and your unconscious form indicate that his conversation actually took place.
Following the award ceremony, Mydei is invited to stay as a guest in the Palace, but he declines, not even trying to come up with a reason to justify his need to return to his village immediately.
He returns before you do but only needs to wait for half an hour before he hears you running through the walkways of your estate, approaching your chamber where he is waiting for you. Even though he had encountered Yudi’s sons, all ten of them combined would pale in the face of the omnipotent force that had approached him, and he is sure you are as, if not more, distraught as he is.
When you come rushing in, he rises from the bed and catches you as you leap at him, your trembling body against his.
My love, are you alright!
I need to show you this.
You refuse to separate from him, though, so he squeezes his hand into the crevice between your neck and his chest, and presses the elixir against your skin. That causes you to jump back, and your expression can only be described as one of pure shock.
That cannot be.
Mydei purses his lips.
The voice said it can grant immortality.
That - that voice. Only Yudi and Wang Mu Niang Niang possess access to the elixir of immortality. It - it must have been her! How can this be!
If it is Wang Mu Niang Niang, she said this was a gift out of gratitude.
He watches you take shaky steps back to him. You are trained on the ball in his palm, in disbelief of the existence of it.
W-well… are you going to take it?
Mydei snorts.
Of course not. I would be a fool to separate us from each other for any longer. I also have no intention of becoming a liar or a hypocrite, when I have had little regard for the divine since my birth. Have you forgotten what your husband is like?
His words, mostly tart with a hint of lilting tease, manages to draw a huff of a chuckle from you.
I am home. And I plan to stay for a while.
He scans your face and frame. There are more lines on your face, no doubt a result of your labor and sleepless nights from watching over the village by yourself. Your hair has also gotten quite thin and is a lighter shade, washed out by the suns’ harsh light, and there is both a rigidness and a frailty to your aura, both of which he has never sensed before. You, too, take your time in observing your husband, who has indeed gotten quite tan, and his hair is even longer, reaching down to his hips. There are several patches of his skin that are charred and burned, and you wince at the notion of such extreme pain and beating. Some things remain the same, however, such as the chiseled lines of his muscles and the bold red of his tattoos.
Moreover, this beat of hesitation, of holding each other at an arm’s length away, stays constant as well. But it does not last as long anymore, when Mydei breaks first and draws you into his hold. This embrace is one saturated with warmth, longing, and satisfaction, your first genuine hug since the two of you parted ways over two years ago. You take in his presence, as he does with yours, and in this room, this space just for the two of you, it finally feels complete and whole again.
Later, before the both of you head out for dinner with the rest of the villagers, Mydei decides to hide the elixir in a wooden box that he conceals in the corner of the bedroom. Though neither of you may have a need for it, it may be safer to conceal its existence, especially from potential prying eyes and envious minds.
–
A week later, a Palace messenger arrives at your estate to announce the holding of a banquet that evening in honor of Mydei and his troop. Your husband scoffs at the invitation, but with a stern glare from you, he begrudgingly accepts. These days, Mydei deigns to leave your side, constantly following you about as you resume your village duties and responsibilities. You also make time to bring him around to show him what he has missed out on.
One dawn, you take him to visit Grandma Li’s grave. You bring a basket of pears, homemade rice cakes filled with peanut butter, and incense pillars as offerings, and Mydei kneels for a long time in front of the grave. Another lunchtime, the two of you go to collect peaches, and as it was a Sunday, the children who had no school to attend that day joined you with their parents and siblings. You also show him the rabbits that you raised, the babies now fully grown with fluffy white coats and beady red eyes. And the night before the Palace’s banquet, your village hosts its own at your estate, and many of Mydei’s men come over. Mydei sits with his disciple Feng Meng, while you mill about to pay your respects to the village’s elders and to extend your appreciation to the soldiers present for their loyalty toward your husband.
You pass by a table occupied by a large family of seven. You are especially close to this family’s twins who are both ten-years-old, though not out of personal bias, but because they are relentless in their pursuit for your affection. As so, when the twins notice you, they scream out to you.
Eat with us! Eat with us!
You laugh, shaking your head with a soft smile.
Sorry, little ones, but I must eat with the chief tonight. I will join you for a meal another day.
They huff, crossing their plush arms across their chests. Then, as twins are with their shared thoughts and intuition, they share a cheerful look before turning back to you. The older of the two, a girl, speaks first, before the younger one, a boy, follows up, and the two continue to alternate back and forth.
We heard something interesting at school yesterday!
It is about the chief!
And we heard it from the ninth prince himself!
The prince said the chief had a forbidden medicine –
– a medicine that would make him young forever!
But we read in our books that that kind of medicine only exists in Tian.
Yet the prince looked awfully serious. Is there something wrong with the ninth prince?
Or is the prince right? That the elixir of immortality is real?
You pat their heads while maintaining your expression.
Lower your voices and hush now. If you are caught speaking ill of the Imperial Family, you will lose your tongues. Eat, before dinner gets cold.
You bid your farewell, and head back to your table. As you walk, though, you mull over the twins’ words.
As much as you despise your upbringing as a child of the divine, you find that the hard skills you learned since young have been more helpful than not throughout your life, even after you abandoned your post. Like now, you know not to ignore the signs. Twins are fortuitous, especially boy-girl pairs, and given that they brought up the elixir of all subjects tells you that Wang Mu Niang Niang’s gift is not something that can be so easily forgotten or discarded. You must exercise caution and remain vigilant, all while exhibiting inconspicuousness.
When you return to Mydei’s side, you realize Feng Meng is gone. You ask about the latter’s whereabouts, to which your husband responds that his disciple went to the bathroom. You run your hand through his hair, tracing your fingernail through his braids that you did this morning, before you excuse yourself to change into something warmer.
You pad through the darkened walkways, stopping whenever you run into a guard or a lady-in-waiting. You ask if they have seen Feng Meng, and you follow each of their instructions, until you realize you are navigating towards your husband’s office. Before you make the bend that would allow you to see the office, you wait, extinguishing your presence as you have done when tending to the rabbits and channeling your foresight. When your soul is quiet, everything around gets louder, and though it is faint, there is a vanishing trace of disdain that you can sense that stains the path to Mydei’s office. The flickering nature of the presence tells you there must be another human nearby, one skilled but not yet masterful. But before you can fetch Mydei for help, you must confirm your suspicions.
With quick and light steps, you glide to the old willow that drapes itself over the office building. From behind the trunk, you can peer inside one of the windows, though it does take some effort as it is only wedged open by a fraction and there is no light inside. From what you can tell, there are several unfurled scrolls strewn across his desk, and if you strain your ears, you can hear the shuffling and rearranging of the items on the shelves closest to you. While you do not know who this intruder is, as it could be someone other than Feng Meng, it is clear that someone is there.
You hurry back and try your best to keep up the silencing of your qi, despite the thrumming of anxiety that courses through your blood.
Mydei catches onto your intentions quickly, as he notices your appearance has not changed at all upon your return. You note that Feng Meng’s absence persists. He comes up to you, but instead of directing him to where the intruder is, you loop your arms through his and gently urge him to follow you around the villagers and soldiers. After all, you do not know if the intruder is acting alone, and if not, there could be those watching your husband closely.
As you pace around, you quietly inform him.
Someone is ransacking your office. I believe they are looking for the elixir.
How would they know about it?
Even the children have heard about it. At the very least, it is known that the ninth prince has been talking about its potential existence in the Capital.
How would the ninth prince know about it?
It is a good question, so you ponder it briefly.
I have a hypothesis, if you will entertain me.
Please, go ahead.
Remember how I was awake initially? It could be that the Imperial Family was also awake.
How could I have missed that?
No, not in the same way that you and I were awake. We could move about, even under Wang Mu Niang Niang’s spell. I was most likely able to withstand her spell because of my tolerance to divinity. By that logic, then, it is possible that the Imperial Family and priests were also able to retain their consciousness during her appearance, but were solely limited to that.
That is enough said on your part. The rest, Mydei understands. It is his turn, then, to formulate a strategy.
I will take the direct route to our bedroom. Veil yourself and go from the back, around the washroom. I will leave first, or else they will be suspicious of you.
He rubs his thumb across your cheek, a gesture of reassurance, and he makes some conversation with a few of the elders to his side before he goes on his way. You spend even longer lingering around the villagers, but also with the soldiers, to see if any of them are accomplices. But there is no sense of hostility or hatred from them. The more you investigate, hovering within the soldiers’ presence, the more confident you are that none of them are involved. That leaves you with two options: the intruder is acting alone, confirming their identity as Feng Meng, or alongside members of the Security Bureau.
You sigh. You must go now.
–
Mydei is broiling with anger. There is no need to hide his presence, as he wants to make it known that he is furious. His people have long suffered at the hands of the current empire, the village having been conquered during his incompetent father’s reign, and while he has tried to make peace with the Emperor, he has never once forgiven him and the Holy Nation. Now, he is being targeted for something he did not ask for – if they wanted it, they could have just asked for it! He shakes his head and rolls out his wrists, preparing to draw his blade and kill all that invades his home.
You are too reckless, Mydei.
Mydei swings, but misses.
Deliverer!
The Head of the Security Bureau steps out of the shadow, a black mask covering all but his piercing blue eyes. Had Mydei not worked with the Head before, the latter’s sudden appearance would have startled him.
You fool! You have always been the Emperor’s dog!
Mydei, it is you who is the dog. You need to be subjugated. The Emperor will no longer tolerate defiance from you or your village.
Defiance! How laughable!
This is not a laughing matter.
This is no matter in the first place.
I am afraid, then, that this is not something we can talk through.
Mydei has no doubt that he can defeat Phainon. His only fear is that he will not be fast enough.
–
It seems you were right in following the signs because you are exceptionally lucky. The moon lights your path so that you can navigate your way through your abode with ease and speed. So far, there does not seem to be anybody trailing you, and the intruder is nowhere to be seen, so they are not targeting you either. At this rate, it is likely that the intruder has left Mydei’s office and is searching elsewhere.
You take a deep breath out of relief when you arrive at your chamber and realize that no one else is present. There is only one entrance to your bedroom, so you take extra care to be silent as you come around from behind the building, and when the coast is clear, you sneak into your room. You pay no mind that the inside is dark, as you know the placement of everything by heart. You approach the corner of the room where Mydei hid the wooden box inside a large jar with bamboo planks stacked on top. You remove everything one by one, hurrying but prioritizing the need for silence above all else. But, again, it seems luck is on your side, and you are able to retrieve the elixir without a hitch. You move everything back to their original placements, except for the medicinal ball that you tightly clutch in your fist.
All is well, until you step out of your bedroom.
You cannot help but scream when you see Mydei, bloody and battered, fighting against Phainon, bruised and limping.
No!
Both of them cease their movements, surprised by your presence. But before either of them can come to, something surges up from beneath you, and a hand flies up to grab you by the neck, limiting your ability to breathe without delay.
It hurts. It is an excruciating pain of being crushed under a heavy weight. You have heard that suffocating is akin to drowning, which feels like being roasted and burned from the inside out. You wonder if Mydei has ever experienced pain like this, perhaps when he received those patches of permanently seared skin. In your choking, murky view, you can make out the blurred outline of Feng Meng, his face contorted in an ugly, deceitful frown as he breathes heavily. And through your pounding ears, you barely make out his words.
I know you have it! If you just give it to me, Madam, your life will be spared!
Even if you could talk, you would not answer. However, since you cannot speak anyway, you demonstrate your refusal by flailing, thrashing your legs in every direction possible and beating Feng Meng’s arms with your fists. You know that you are only wasting your energy, but since Feng Meng is not ready to kill you yet, you desperately take in shallow gasps of air as well. You can hear Mydei screaming your name over and over again in between silvery screeches of gold colliding against brass, and by now, you think your guards should be on their way to address the commotion. But even their arrival might be too late for you, and it seems your luck has run out.
Feng Meng’s grip on you tightens, preventing air from entering you entirely. You probably look like a fish out of water, uselessly gaping your mouth and sputtering drool all over.
Madam, I will only ask you once more, or I will take it by force! Please hand over the elixir!
It is no use. You will not give him the elixir, and he needs to retrieve it by any means. With no compromise in sight, the two of you are at a standstill. That means one of you has to take action.
Without another thought, with the last remnants of your fading strength, you bring your shaky fist to your greying lips and release your clutch, dropping the ball into your mouth.
Then you swallow.
It is as if time has stopped, once again. Everyone else, including Mydei, is frozen in the middle of their actions, and only you are able to move for however long you have. You remove Feng Meng’s chokehold on you, and heave in desperate breaths.
Your mind immediately begins to clear, and that is made apparent when you sense her. Now that you know who she is, her omnipresence, preceded by a white light, is less frightening.
That was not intended for your use.
You take another deep, shuddering breath.
My apologies, Wang Mu Niang Niang. But I figured it would be better than handing it over to the likes of Feng Meng. He would have eaten it on the spot.
That was not a call for you to make.
But you knew this would happen. I know the divine are capable of seeing into the future.
You are too powerful for your own good. Perhaps this was the best outcome, after all.
Seeing that you are still on your own, you rush to Mydei’s side, placing a hand on his cheek. His eyes are wide, golden and rouge irises twinkling under the moonlight. His mouth is wide open, as he was probably in the midst of screaming at you to Just hand it over! There are blood splatters that cover his temple and neck, and you use your sleeve to rub those away, before peppering kisses onto the corners of his lips.
Mortal, I will allow you to bring two things from this earth to the moon, where you will join me.
You pause in the middle of your kissing to respond, icily.
If you are pitying me, I will have none of it.
Are you in any position to refuse pity? Regardless, you do not have a choice. This elixir is of my making, so you must obey my commands. On the moon you will reside, and every year on this day, I will grant you the opportunity to see your beloved on this earth.
You leave one last kiss on your husband’s nose before you step back. Although you will be able to see him once a year, it feels… strange. You had promised yourself that, upon Mydei’s return, the two of you would be able to return to your normal routine and only be subjected to a few hours’ worth of separation every day. Even now, as you let your eyes linger over every centimeter of his face, you can tell that much of him has changed throughout his campaign, and before you have the chance to memorize his new contours and creases, it is you who must leave, by divinity’s demand, and you will never be able to know him as well as you once did.
How strange and twisted, you think, but for some reason, there is a distinct sense of acceptance within you. Perhaps the past two years have tested you, and you no longer fear fate’s outcomes because, at the very least, Mydei did the impossible in defeating Tian’s dwellers and survived. It might also be that you know Wang Mu Niang Niang is already demonstrating as much mercy as the heavens will allow, so even if you were to throw a fit or beg for more, the goddess herself would not be able to do anything. Or maybe, at one indistinguishable point, you unconsciously resigned yourself to the divine, and knowing that it will do anything it can to torment you, you have carried that grief along and never once set it down. This sudden unraveling of your life and the way you have known it to be has simply allowed that grief to surface, and you can only shake your head when faced with the darkened, disintegrating state of your heart.
You proceed to shuffle backwards, away from Mydei, until he is barely out of reach. You take the golden cuff that holds his front braid together, before you walk to the nearby courtyard where the rabbits reside. You uncover their burrow, unrooting purple forget-me-nots and creeping buttercups, and reach in to pull out the runt of the newest litter, no different from a solid figurine in your palm.
I am ready.
How strange, your choices. Explain to me, mortal.
There is not much to it. I suppose I find sentimentality in things that keep me going.
How bold of you, to not tell the truth in front of the likes of me.
You could force it out of me, if you so wish.
You watch as a staircase and railing of stardust, moonlight, and cosmic nothingness appear before your eyes in the middle of the courtyard, spiraling upwards and into the sky, ending somewhere far beyond where the moon hangs. You stare at Mydei’s braid cuff and the baby rabbit, which you notice is beginning to shiver, and you tuck both of them in the inside of your robe before ascending the first steps of the staircase.
As you climb, you notice the earth below you gradually resuming its time. A breeze brushes past the tips of your ears, and you delight in the perfume of fresh mint, blooming magnolias, and rose peonies it carries. In the distance, an owl hoots, and a pair of magpies flutter down to a pond you cannot see. You lose yourself to the natural order of the earth because, soon, you will leave this land.
Suddenly, a yell of your name draws you back. You lean over the railing and see that below, Mydei is gazing up at you. You can still make out the expression on his face – one of loss, desperation, and frustration. He is biting on his lower lip, and there are divots between his eyebrows. His eyes appear especially glossy and bright underneath the moon’s light.
Where are you going?
To the moon.
Can you come back down to me?
I cannot.
Your husband takes a few seconds before replying, and as you wait, the sound of grass blades ruffling and bats flying fill the silence.
I see. Then can I come up to you?
Wang Mu Niang Niang intercedes.
No. You will live out the rest of your life and die on this earth.
You and Mydei share a solemn look. Neither of you can say anything, as both of you have begun to weep, quiet tears clumping together eyelashes and rolling down the apples of your cheeks. But Mydei is also aware of the unforgiving reality that you may disappear at sudden, so with a shaky, breaking voice, he attempts to carry on the flow of the conversation, clinging onto any chance to hear his wife’s voice again.
When will I next see you?
Whenever the moon rises.
I will look up at the night sky every evening. And in person?
Every year, on this day, at this time.
I will meet with you every year. I swear.
I look forward to it, my love.
Are you cold? I am sure it is cold on the moon.
Do not worry. I have all that I need.
Wang Mu Niang Niang intercedes once more.
Enough of your idle chatter!
But the two of you carry on, because both of you have realized that Wang Mu Niang Niang is kind, and no longer are the two of you fearful of Tian or the divine or divinity as a whole. Rather, in the last, ticking seconds that you have, it is most important to cherish and express the unyielding, everlasting love you have for each other, as husband and wife. With soft, longing smiles, you utter the same sentence together.
We are forever –
– under the same sky.
Both of you press your fingers to your lips before extending your arms out towards each other, hoping that the full extent of your yearning, love, and devotion will be conveyed and reach the other. Then, with a flash of blinding white light, you disappear from Mydei’s sight.
You, of course, can still see him, but you will yourself to turn your chin away and climb up, up, up so that by tomorrow night, you will have made it to the moon, and Mydei will be able to see you from the window of your shared bedroom.
The world resumes, as if you were never there at all, as if time never stopped flowing. But Mydei knows you were real, are real. He reminds himself he need only survive tonight alone, and tomorrow, he will see you again, for the two of you can never be apart for too long.
And he is right because, by the decree of the heavenly gods above and their kindred spirits down on the earth in the forms of the water, leaves, wind, and destiny, you and Mydeimos are for each other, to always be intertwined and inseparable in this vast, vast universe.
–
“Lao Lao, why do we eat mooncakes during the Mid-Autumn Festival?” A little boy, no more than six- or seven-years-old sits at the dining table, feet kicking back and forth as they dangle off the edge of a chair meant for an adult. On the table, there is an array of emptied pots and plates, evidence of a large and festive meal devoured. Sitting directly across from him on the other side is his maternal grandmother.
“Because the lady on the moon likes them,” the grandma replies, preoccupied with tearing apart the packaging of a mooncake, which she hands to her grandson.
“Why do we care about the lady on the moon?”
The grandma’s eyebrows furrow. “Aye, Duo Duo, watch what you say! It is an important cultural celebration.”
“But why?”
“So many questions! She saved her husband, alright?”
“What happened to her husband?”
The grandson watches his grandma pause before recalling, “He was murdered by his student with a club made out of a peach tree.”
“Woah, that’s oddly specific. Did the husband love the lady on the moon?”
“Of course! Do you know nothing about the Mid-Autumn Festival? Before his death, the husband would burn incense and stare up at the moon every night to see his wife, and every year, today was the only day he could meet his wife in person. That is why we honor our descendants during this festival, because we are closest to them now.”
The grandson shrugs, having lost interest halfway through his grandma’s explanation, romance lost on his inexperienced shoulders. “Sounds weird.”
“Duo Duo!”
The grandson ignores his grandma and pries open his mooncake. “Wait, Lao Lao, can you eat the yolk for me?”
“Aiyah, just eat it all yourself!”
#彡 honkai star rail.#cw death#cw religious imagery#cw violence#cw blood#cw marking#OH MY GOSHHHHHHH#BOOSTING FOR NOW CARROT
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childe x f!reader
warnings: oral + fingering (f receiving), pinv, free use kind of (magical sex toy) unproofread
imagining childe with a magical pocket pussy. he bought it off a dodgy merchant in an inazuman back market, fully thought it was a scam but he was curious and bored and had nothing better to do. and he missed you.
the seller told him to imagine the person he wished to feel, but to choose wisely because once the toy is molded, it can't be changed. no problem for childe, who hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you since his boat set sail from the hazy shores of snezhnaya when you saw him off. he still feels the ghost of your kiss lingering on his cheek — is sure that if he looked at his reflection, the outline of your lips would be imprinted for all to see.
in the darkness of his room he lets his mind wander. he removes the barrier that sequesters you to a corner of his brain, compartmentalizing his thoughts so he doesn't get distracted while on duty. but now the gates are open and his mind floods with memories, remembering how good you smell and how soft you feel. his head falls back to rest on top of the pillow, pocket pussy clenched in his left hand. he grasps it tightly, hoping that what the merchant told him is right.
“it’ll feel just like the real thing — just like whoever you’re missing… and they’ll feel it too! yes, it’s linked in real time!” is what the merchant said. childe smiles to himself, praying to the archons he wasn’t duped.
once the appropriate amount of time passes, he removes the toy from its packaging. squinting as he inspects it, turning it around to study it from all angles. it looks like you, but he isn't entirely convinced yet.
childe runs a finger through the folds, the pad of his pointer pulling the hood up to reveal your clit and rubbing small circles over it. regardless if the toy is actually magic, the technology was impressive; it started to heat up and he could see slick beginning to collect on the lips.
two thumbs spread the lips, presenting a drenched and clenching hole to a greedy set of lightless, hopeful eyes. subconsciously childes mouth waters and his tongue sweeps over his bottom row of teeth. ragged breaths fan over the cunt as he closes his eyes and leans just down enough to give the slit a tentative lick.
that taste… it’s her, archons, it’s her. his body completely relax. his mouth floods with drool and his eyes roll back as his tongue presses further into you. childe could cry with relief and a yearning so deep it would overhaul his system. but first he must attend to the straining problem that tightens his pants to an uncomfortable level.
childe wastes no time, tilting the toy towards his face, delving into you tongue first. for a split second he wonders what you’re up to and if you are linked to the toy. can you feel him? the thought crosses his mind, and immediately, almost in response, your hole flutters.
a new wave of urgency envelopes childe so he pulls out all the stops. swirling his tongue over your clit, curling his fingers into you, and keeping you pressed flush to his lips in all the ways he knows would have you rutting against his face.
he needs your cum and he needs it now. childe smothers the toy against his mouth, attempting to mimic the movement of your hips when you ride his face. he mourns the warmth and pressure of your thighs around his head, yearns to feel your weight bear down on him, he misses how you overwhelm his senses. with your presence, your taste, your smell, your touch. but regardless of whether childe successfully replicated the way you would rock him deeper into you, he feels you gush and tighten around his fingers, trying to milk them of what only his cock can provide.
“oh, pretty, i need you too,” childe coos to the air. he doesn’t care if bystanders think he sounds like a horny old man, he’s beyond reproach. scorn couldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole. “here, let me show you.” he kisses around your twitching clit, giving one final suck, before guiding the toy to his bulge.
he grinds your leaky cunt against him over his pants, watching with cruel glee as he sees and feels a wet patch begin to spread. while the small cylinder of the toy is much easier to manhandle and control, childe really misses you. he misses the way your body reacts to him, he misses grabbing onto your waist and thighs to keep you steady, he misses your voice. childe prays to the archons that you can feel the way his cock jumps at the stimulation you’re bare cunt is providing him. he wants you to feel what a mess you turn him into. only you.
unbuckling his pants with lethal efficiency, childe’s heavy shaft rests against his abdomen, hot and throbbing. he keeps dragging the toy over his shaft, coating it properly in your slick. occasionally his head catches the hood of your clit, and he feels your heartbeat pulse from the body of the toy. the teasing tortures both of you, but he knows it would be at this stage when you would beg him to put it in. he can practically hear the sweet lilt of your voice, taste the tears on your cheeks, and how could he not oblige.
he angles the toy directly over his tip and slowly lowers you just enough for his head to slip past the taut ring of muscle lining your entrance. childe pants at the hug of your walls. it completely knocks the air out of him, but he’ll only understand this later when he has a clear mind. at this moment, he can only comprehend the way you squeeze him as he bullies his way deeper.
a small part of his brain is relieved. you’re only this tight for one reason. no one else has had the pleasure of stretching your walls since he bid you farewell all those moons ago. and no one else ever will again.
normally he would take more time to tease you, but nothing is normal about these circumstances and he needs to be in you. he shoves the toy down, forcing your walls to part and pulsate around him. your juices helped save the stretch from being painful, but the girth of him still proves a challenge.
childe grunts at your grip, clamped around him so tightly you knock the wind out of him. but he keeps pushing you down, only occasionally thrusting up every time he feels an extra spasm of your walls. he’s impatient, he can’t help it. especially when he feels the warmth of your slick drip down the remaining length of his shaft before you’ve sunk completely to the hilt.
his grip on the toy is strong, the veins of his arms bulging as he works your cunt up and down. nails rake across the mattress, his restless hands missing your supple flesh that he’s so used to kneading.
frustrated, he increases the pace. guilt nips at the back of his mind, and he doesn’t mean to take his anger out on you. he knows it’s not your fault that you’re not physically together at this moment (if anything it’s his), but the way your cunt clenches around him shoves all logic out of his mind.
childe fucks the toy ruthlessly, drool pools in his mouth. he’s close already. it’s been so long since he last felt you, and he’s impatient to feel cum leaking out of you. he can’t help imagining what you must be feeling right now, where you might be, who you might be with? how he’d love to see your reactions, knowing how sensitive you are. archons, he prays you weren’t with anyone, given your horrible poker face and how loud you can get. unfortunately, his brain does not have the bandwidth to worry about your circumstances for too long.
he drags the toy all the way up, but just before his tip slips out, he plunges all the way back in. his free thumb coming to rub the pulsing nub of your clit. your walls flutter in a pattern he knows all too well.
smiling to himself, he can’t contain the glee he feels that even when he’s across the sea and miles away, he can still bring you to a climax. “come on, pretty girl. give it all to me,” pride swells in his chest as he becomes aware of how his bottom half is coated in your juices. “just wait a little longer, i’m — ah, so close.”
it doesn’t take but a few more thrusts before he’s spilling deep within you. he sees stars, head thrown back, heels planted against the mattress to reach deeper into you. childe’s muscles relaxas he catches his breath and completely sinks into the bed. after a long day away from you, this taste of home lulls him right to sleep, cock still plugging you full of him. the only thing that’s missing is you in his arms.
© teataglia 2024, all rights reserved. do not plagiarize, copy, translate, repost my content on any platform.
#彡 genshin impact.#cw free use#WHATTTTTTT I LOVE THIS KIND OF PROMPT OMG TEA ???????#‘that taste .. it’s her archons it’s her’ HELLOOOOOOOOOOO#‘you’re only this tight for one reason’ TEAAAAAAAAAAANSJSJDNDNJDXJJENSJDJJX /pos#the grip on the toy . the veins . all of the above
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𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘬, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘨𝘰𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦?
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