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[unprdctblgrl]

Dear Lord,

If You believe that I am ready and truly healed, I come to You humbly asking for someone who embodies kindness—someone who is compassionate towards animals, gentle with children, and who will never cause me harm physically, mentally, or through words. I pray for a partner who is gentle at heart, respectful in actions, and, most importantly, someone who has a deep love and reverence for You. Let this person be someone who values our spiritual journey together, who will invite me to go to church every Sunday, and who will encourage us to grow closer to You.

I wish for someone who is not only smart but has a heart full of wisdom. He doesn’t need to be the most handsome, but I pray for someone who is pleasant to be around, with a kind smile and gentle eyes. May he be tall, fair-skinned, and blessed with a provider's mindset—responsible, hardworking, and driven, yet soft and caring when it comes to me and my fur babies. I ask for a partner who will embrace me fully, loving me for who I am, without judgment or trying to change me.

I hope for someone who comes from a loving, supportive family—a good family that will also welcome me with warmth. May he be a person who not only helps me grow but also inspires me to become the best version of myself. I desire a love that is deep enough to accept my flaws, my struggles, and the darker parts of me, and who will stand by me even when things are difficult, defending me and standing up for our relationship when needed.

Most importantly, Lord, I pray for someone who is loyal—someone who will never be indifferent or dismissive of my feelings. I hope for a man who is emotionally intelligent, someone who understands me on a deeper level, and who can match my energy and share my interests. Let him be fun-loving and spontaneous, yet grounded and mature, someone who can make me laugh but also knows when to be serious. I know this might seem like a lot, but I trust in Your timing and Your plan for me. Just in case, Lord. Hehe.

Love,

Paula

[unprdctblgrl]

Happiest Birthday, B

My only wish is for you to be happy.

[unprdctblgrl]

December 4, 2023

Dearest Nard,

Kamusta ka na? Siguro may iba ka na kinakausap, nka move on ka na? Ako, eto ganun pa rin.. Pabalik balik sa simula. Still praying for you, pero hindi na oara bumalik ka. Pinagdadasal ko lang na lagi ka gabayan ni Lord at ilayo sa kapahamakan na sana lagi ka masaya at matupad lahat ng mga pangarap mo. Sana makahanap na ng oang habang buhay na kakampi mo kasi hindi na ako yun.

[unprdctblgrl]

December 2, 2023

Lord, I miss him. Bakit ganun? After all what he put me through, I still love him, I still need and want him. Kinda miss him today. 🥺

[unprdctblgrl]

November 29, 2023

Masakit pa din.

[unprdctblgrl]

March 29, 2020

To the Tom to my Jerry. Today marks our 31st days of being together. Happy 1st, My Love! Thank you for loving me through my bursts of brilliance as well as my moments of madness and for making me your priority "sometimes" Hahaha and even though I have a thousand flaws, you have always made me feel flawless. You're the best thing that ever happened to me (So far 😂). I'll try to be more matured when it comes on dealing with your toyos and insecurities. (promise!) I love you for what you are but I love you more for how you make me feel when I am with you kahit madalas mo ko na set aside din. Always put Jesus as the center of our relationship. No matter where life may lead us, through ups and downs I am with you always. To more dates, asaran, bwisitin. I love you youuuu. 🖤

[unprdctblgrl]

To be honest, I still want us.. Na maging okay pa tayo. Na maayos pa natin yung sa atin. Silently manifesting it. I love you and hindi yun mababago

[unprdctblgrl]

Hindi nawawala yung sakit, yung lungkot. Bskit amg dali para ss ibang tao magsaya? Pero ako hirap na hirap.

[unprdctblgrl]

You know most of the time I hate being myself. Madaling mairita, madaling magpaniwala sa mga sinasabi ng ibang tao. Madalas mainit ulo. Sometimes I want to kill myself, mapapatulala nlang ako habang iniisip ko na mag laslas, magpasaga, tumalon sa building or mag hang. Nasa punto na din ako na sinasaktan ko na sarili ko kasi di ko na alam paano ko ilalabas yung sama ng loob ko. High school ako na nagsimula na magisip na saktan sarili ko, gusto ko magbigti I don't know why siguro sa sobrang galit ko sa mundo. Siguro kung ginawa ko yun, hindi ako mahihirapan ngayon.

[unprdctblgrl]

May 15, 2021

Ang dami ko tanong sa isip ko na hindi ko alam paano sagutin. So many what ifs, so many doubts. Paulit ulit ko naririnig sa utak ko yung Tama pa ba 'to? Kelan ko ba dapat sabihin yung tama na? Tigil na? Basta alam ko sa sarili ko na nasasaktan ako. Nasasaktan ako kasi parang wala ko karapan na i voice out yung nararamdaman ko at yung mga bagay na gumugulo sa isip ko. Everytime na nagta try ako lagi sasabihn ang drama mo, sa utak mo lang yan, kakatiktok mo yan or kakapanuod mo yan ng kdrama but you know deep down hindi dahil sa mga yun. Ang sakit kasi nararamdaman ko na he never respect my feelings, my emotions and my opinions. Pag gusto ko ilabas yung saloobin ko bigla siya na magagalit, dun nag uumpisa yung pag aaway. You know, all I want is to hear me and understand me. Yung totoong maiintindhn ako hindi yung sabi lang na naiintindhan ako. Don't get me wrong I appreciate every thing na ginagawa niya for me and for our relationship, yung pag so sorry niya pag nag aaway kami but hindi naman yun yung gusto ko. I hope he will let me be vulnerable, he will listen to me without judging me. He thinks na tama lahat ng sinasabi niya just because mas marami siyang experiences sa buhay. I hope na maintindhan niya na magkaiba kami on how to handle things and emotions.

[unprdctblgrl]

May 11/2021

I hope someday someone will listen to me without saying how negative I am, how dramatic and toxic I am. Sometimes, I just want someone who can listen and can understand why I am being this nega girl, I don't need someone na papangaralan ako na ganto na ganyan all I want is someone who can listen without judging me. Na sasabhn sa akin na even na ganyan ka, hindi ako mapapagod unawain ka, hindi ako mapapagod na mahalin ka. Minsan kelangan lang ng assurance. Siguro nga, mataas ego ko, mataas pride ko pero I hope makita mo kung saan ko hinuhugot yun. I can't be the person you want me to be, tulad ng pagka gusto na mabago mo yung bad habits mo. Sana maisip mo na hindi lang ikaw yung may karapan magsalita sa ating dalawa that I have voice and opinion as well. Na hindi tayo magkaparehas ng paniniwala. I always respect yours and I wish that you respect mine. Siguro para sayo tama ka lagi, but for me no.

[unprdctblgrl]

Maybe just maybe someday they will ubderstand me.

[unprdctblgrl]

Ang daling sabhin na "sa isip mo lang yan, ang nega mo kasi." when in fact kahit ayaw mo mag isip your mind never stop thinking. Patuloy lang siya sa pagiisip ng kung ano, yung kahit pagod ka na di siya titigil.

[unprdctblgrl]

Still fighting my own demons, a never ending battle.

[unprdctblgrl]

I don't understand my emotions. Why am I hurting, why am I sad?

[unprdctblgrl]

Here we go again, thinking about killing myself.

[unprdctblgrl]

Baka kelangan ko ng bumitaw.