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we’re all just walking each other home.

e. d. (via jamstains)

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did you know how hilarious the patch notes to the sims are

A faint line is no longer visible on the heads of babies.

Fish are no longer duplicated in the fridge when moving homes.

Sims can no longer “Try for Baby” with the Grim Reaper.

Sims who are on fire will no longer be forced to attend graduation before they can put themselves out.

Children and Teens can no longer die from motive failure while on a Time Out.

Pianists will no longer continue playing pianos that have been detonated.

Sims will no longer receive a wish to “Skinny Dip” with Mummies.

Pregnant Sims can no longer “Brawl.”

Sims can no longer WooHoo in the Elevator with a Sim who is on a different floor.

Fixed an issue that caused Sims to leave their Toddler inside a bar at closing time.

The Grim Reaper will no longer be prevented from reaping souls due to band affiliation.

Kleptomaniac Sims can no longer steal Subway stations from lots.

Fixed a tuning issue so that Sims now vomit at acceptable levels.

The magical laundry bear Abracadabra will no longer block Sims from moving after disappearing

Tourist NPCs can now be impregnated.

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There should be a secret signal you can give your waiter so they will put some whiskey in your soda when you take your parents out to lunch as an adult. They make me need to drink.

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Employee takes company stapler on a wild vacation

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This made me so happy. Never give up and follow your dreams.

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company trying to market something to millennials: homie 😎⚠️👆,consumerism 😂💰😂 is on fleek bae!! We should 💯💯💯 go to our nearest bastion of capitalism 💳💸 and get turnt with your bff 👯💅💁

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These exchanges between a bigot named Brendan Sullivan, and a heroic troll named Robert Graves, will be the best thing you read all day, I promise.

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when something’s kinda rad, but not too rad

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Sum up the plot of your novel/main story in one sentence

I’m bored and this could be fun

I’ll start 

“The importance of proper closure.” 

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Because I’ve lost control of my life

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I remember seeing them perform this live on my campus.. My jaw dropped within 10 seconds.

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A study in ignorant word play.

Donald Trump is every student ever who didn’t read the book and is trying to wing it when the teacher asks what they think it was about.