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Two identical infants lay in the cradle. “One you bore, the other is a Changeling. Choose wisely,” the Fae’s voice echoed from the shadows. “I’m taking both my children,” the mother said defiantly.

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it’s so funny to me that in a lot of fics after Tim’s parents die and he’s adopted and moved into Wayne manor, he still just… owns the mansion next door. like Drake manor is just right there, fully furnished and empty, fully inherited by Tim. and he just kinda leaves it there. probably forgets he owns it. how much do you wanna bet the others absolutely do NOT forget that next door is also owned by the family?

how much do you wanna bet that at least twice a month Bruce freaks the fuck out because Damian’s been missing for two days and eventually they track him down to find that he’d just walked over to Drake manor to avoid being told to help Alfred dust and then… couldn’t be bothered to walk back. figured that technically Drake manor could also be ‘home’ and made himself comfortable. is napping in Tim’s childhood bedroom when they find him and is completely unapologetic about eating the food in his kitchen.

how much do you wanna bet that Tim gets a call from the weekly cleaner that he totally forgot was being paid from his bank account to maintain Drake manor, only to be told by a slightly terrified cleaner that she tried to go in to mop the kitchen and found a fucking crime lord in nothing but sweatpants and his helmet, ranting to an ‘oracle’ about some kind of ‘drug drop off’ that he ‘needed off Batman’s radar’, because Jason was too tired to motorcycle all the way back to Crime Alley after a debrief but didn’t want to have to be around Bruce so he just kinda broke into Tim’s old house and has been casually chilling there for the past week while he worked on a case.

how much do you wanna bet that one time Bruce grounded Tim for two weeks and Tim was so annoyed about it that to be petty he snuck out and went back to Drake manor. Bruce was so fucking mad because Tim directly ignored his orders and he couldn’t even do anything about it because every time he brought it up he got loud claims of ‘yOU TOLD ME TO GO TO MY ROOM SO I WENT TO MY FUCKING ROOM, B, I DON’T WANNA HEAR SHIT FROM YOU-!’

how much do you wanna bet when eventually Tim can’t be bothered to deal with the insurance forms and he sells Drake manor, he mentions having to hand over his keys and instantly every single batkid starts digging around in their pockets and producing two or three keys to Drake manor because over the years they’ve all just kinda. been using it. whenever. Tim had no fucking clue they’d made keys. he’s so confused. it gets so much funnier when the next day Tim shows up to the estate agents to drop off his plastic tub of keys for the new owner and he fucking finds Jason Todd there ready to receive them.

“I make a lot of money in my line of work,” he says. “figured it was time for a summer house.”

“you hate being close to Bruce.”

“not as much as Bruce hates shoddy neighbours. i’m going to make his life hell.”

“you made me carry this box of keys for nothing.”

“yeah you can hand those back out actually, i really don’t care who goes in there.”

“I hate you.”

“Don’t be rude to your new neighbour.”

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PROPAGANDA

Agatha Heterodyne:

The main character mad scientist in a comic full of them

She's the titular Girl Genius, which is a good start. In the comic, mad science is genetic and called the Spark; she's the latest in a long line of of powerful, mostly evil Sparks who terrorized Europa for centuries, until her father and uncle became heroes instead. She's a bit in between the two extremes. Some of her greatest hits include: building a small army of self-replicating robots, briefly killing one of her romantic interests in order to cure him of a terminal illness (he thought it was a brilliant idea), repeating the procedure on herself, nearly blowing up after glimpsing the fabric of the universe, repairing the sentient castle at the heart of her town, frequently having to shuffle around brains that end up in the wrong body (they are usually happier afterwards), building a giant robot in order to ask the Godqueen of England to dance, and making coffee. At this time in the comic, she recently rescued her town from being frozen in time and is working to kill a horror from another dimension.

Mojo Jojo:

Evil Monkey genius, Mojo is not only the most popular villain on the show, but one of the most popular villains and mad scientists in all of Cartoon Network

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Rest in peace to a legend

Lived to 97 years old, invented the Jello Shot, Wrote some of the best satire I’ve ever heard.

“If after hearing my songs just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or perhaps to strike a loved one it will all have been worth the while.” - Tom Lehrer

Listen to Poisoning Pigeons in The Park, Listen to The Elements, Listen to The Masochism Tango. His contributions shall not be forgotten.

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Via Trek Central at Bluesky: news from the Trek panel at SDCC.

Yes, that is Anson Mount's Captain Pike as a Puppet! 👀 StarTrek: Strange New Worlds SEASON FOUR features a puppet-themed episode, created by the iconic Jim Henson’s Creature Shop. The episode is directed by Jordan Canning!

...Can't wait. :)

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I'm reading the scriptwriters' guide for TOS and it's cracking me up in many places. It's so obvious that, from the very beginning, they were already aware of so many of the issues people complain about today.

First there's a multiple choice quiz, what's wrong with this scene?

Answer: C! Absolutely Kirk would not hug the yeoman at this point! That's unprofessional!

The Prime Directive gets explained. As I keep telling people, it's not never broken, it's just supposed to only be broken for very good reasons.

For people wondering how to write a stardate: you make up some numbers!

No saluting! Yes optimism!

There is so much "think of the budget" in here. Yes you can use the shuttle bay but only if it's relevant, we have to use miniatures. Yes you can have a space suit but please don't ask for zero gravity. And where aliens are concerned, you can have some makeup but please focus on the interior differences not just tentacles!

Honestly I think Spock is a better alien than, say, Jabba the Hutt, because as human as he looks, he's much more different on the inside. People like to dismiss Star Trek aliens as "forehead of the week" but it's kind of a stage shorthand for "we're about to discover a unique culture, these people are different from you in ways you might not expect."

And to wrap up:

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Time Travel ft. Leia and Vader

(Helped by @atagotiak)

I was reading a bunch of different time travel fics, and my brain slotted in that one "Vader hands over the Empire to Leia and is now her most devoted sycophant" dynamic and mixed it with the "Luke and Vader time-travel and Vader does the right thing but only because it would make Luke sad if he didn't."

I landed on "Leia time travels to prequels era, but her least favorite family member has also traveled with her, though it takes him a few months to find her because he has less resources without the entire Imperial Navy, but he's still a scary Sith in all black with a breathing mask and intimidating cape."

"Tiny angry lady who wants to force democracy and her giant Sith father whom she hates but has resigned herself to pointing at threats like a tank who inexplicably loves her" is a delightful dynamic.

The first few months included a lot of concern about "why do you know so much about Sith if you're not trained or looking to be one" and then Vader shows up and calls her 'daughter' and she insults him and it's like "Oh. That explains it."

Council Member: We have a Sith in the Temple. Vader: Former Sith. Leia: Listen. He is your best chance against Sidious. Also, do you want Dooku dead? Vader can make him dead. Council Member: Your father i-- Leia, scrunching up her face: Don't call him that.

Like Leia is deep in conversation when the Temple starts panicking because Vader just. Showed up? He snuck in, somehow? So Palpatine wouldn't catch him on video entering through the front door? And people try to keep her away from the trouble, because there's an entire array of Jedi Masters to deal with this Surprise Sith, except she can sense exactly which Sith it is and once she shouts "oh you have got to be kidding me!" she just starts running and, well, it's Leia. Nobody can stop her.

(Leia does have less combat training, at least less force-assisted combat training, than the Jedi. But then the Jedi don’t want to hurt here here. She's not fighting her way down, either, she's just running really fast and all the best fighters already left. They had a head start. So Leia's mostly running past random padawans and the like.)

She shoves her way to the front of the group of Masters who. Well, they're certainly ready to attack. But Vader is just standing there. Doing nothing. Still intimidating as fuck but he's not doing anything.

And then Leia bursts onto the scene like "You motherfucker."

She hits her head on a clipboard and whines because UGH he's a walking WMD and they could REALLY use him against Palpatine but also. She hates him so much.

She tries to hand him off to the Jedi council but he insists that he will only take orders from Leia herself.

Jedi: Wait, what. Leia, completely ignoring them: Did you follow me here? Vader, through the mechanical wheezing: I have no loyalty to my master and no empire to serve. You are all that I have left. Leia: Me? Me? I'm all that you have left? You committed a genocide that killed all the family I had except for the twin brother you later mutilated! Jedi: Wait what Vader, going to one knee: I pledge my loyalty and blade to you and only you, daughter. Leia, ready to explode: I. I just. Jedi, some of whom really want to say things but are slowly realizing that they just accidentally acquired a Sith Lord by proxy: What. Leia: I hate you so much but I can't even get rid of you, you're too useful. Vader: I live to serve. Leia: Yeah. Got that. Fuck. Someone get him a full medical rundown, I don't know the last time that mess of a life support system was updated. Jedi, agitated again: WHAT Leia: Listen, I don't like him, but I'm not stupid enough to throw away the second most dangerous person in the universe when I can point him at the most dangerous person in the universe. Especially not if he's going to listen to me. Jedi: But... he's a Sith. Leia: Please trust me when I say this: you might be able to take him down eventually, but he will take dozens of you down with him, and right now he's... honestly, I'm pretty sure he's more depressed than malicious. Jedi: You hate him. I can feel it. Leia: Yes, but I can be professional about it. Vader: They have not yet d-- Leia: Nope! No talking! Not until I've had a chance to process this mess!

There is a whole lot of Leia snapping at Vader to stop it whenever he starts giving off vibes like he wants to take the most violent shortcut possible.

She is not the gentle hand that Luke would be.

Leia isn't a Jedi or working for them but she's wormed her way into being an ally. They don't 100% trust her, especially not with Vader just showing up and declaring her family but like

How do you say no to a WMD walking into your house and saying "I will fight the monster you cower from at night."

There's a lot of Leia snapping off an admonishment that sounds just a little too odd and then when questioned she just says "He knows what he did."

tbh I'm not sure how long it takes for them to tell anyone that Anakin is Vader. They might hold it off in hopes that Anakin can just retire to be Mr. Amidala after the war is over.

Well, Leia hopes. Vader just lets Leia make that call and then glowers at his younger self every time they're in the same room.

I do feel like Leia tells Obi-Wan the truth first

Imagine. Imagine a Vader who’s past still isn’t known. But has gotten somewhat comfortable around the Jedi (not really but the bar for what counts and comfortable for him is low). And Obi-Wan habitually banters with darksiders, right? If Vader’s guard is down for a moment and he, without thinking, references an inside joke...

Might be the most fun in terms of ways to tell Obi-Wan "We're time travelers and Vader is what happens if you let Palpatine drive Anakin off the edge"

If Vader has decided to pledge himself to her orders after destroying her planet, then fine. She can work with that. She's not going to be happy about it, but she can make it work.

The Jedi Temple hates having Vader anywhere nearby but he is actually very good at hiding himself from people, including Palpatine And for all that Leia seems perpetually irritated with her apparent bodyguard, he does seem to listen to her.

Jedi council: We still haven't figured out how to handle Dooku Leia: Do you know his location? Jedi council: Yes. Leia: [sigh] Leia: Vader, deal with it. Alive if possible.

(Leia does need to clarify an acceptable level of violence against the people protecting Dooku.) (She needs to clarify... many things.)

Leia always says "Vader" and one time a poor fool just asks why she doesn't call him dad and she snarls out "He is not the man that raised me, and I am glad for it."

Someone less foolish later prods more compassionately and she lets them know she was adopted and didn't properly meet Vader except in passing until she was nineteen.

"And then he tortured you." "And then he tortured me, yes." "Damn." "Didn't even find out we were related until a few years later when he chopped my brother's arm off." "You... wow." "I know."

At least one exchange that is L: You mean when you tortured me? A: He did what. V: I was not aware of our relation at that time. L: Not the point! I am fully aware of your interrogation methods and I refuse to let you be the one to acquire the evidence for-- A: Wait no go back he tortured you? L: Move on, please, we already have. A: That means I'm... oh Force, I'm going to torture my own daughter what in the actual fu-- L: We're moving on.

(“I end up torturing my own daughter” If Leia’s feeling especially spiteful I can see her saying “you mutilate your own son too”)

Concept: Leia is very free with traumatizing details of her past re:Vader and Anakin thinks that it sucks but doesn’t think much of it bc Sith. And then some time later he finds out...

(I love characters who use the traumatizing details of their past to shut down conversations.)

It's such a wonderfully horrifying concept for him to try to awkwardly comfort this girl he kind of knows because having a Sith for a dad sounds like it would suck and Leia seems nice, even if she's kind of weird and uncomfortable around Anakin, but he saw her flinch around a few other tall people wearing black robes the way she stiffens around Vader so maybe it's just that!

It is not.

Vader does get a significant amount of medical treatment. Including a bunch of "holy shit, that's a lot of drugs" and similar. There is so much lightning damage.

hnnng I'm just really in love with the image of Tiny Tiny Leia sitting behind a desk for some fancy negotiation, the picture of professionalism, while Vader just stands behind her shoulder, looming, glaring expressionless death at whoever came to speak with his baby girl.

Not that he would call her that, because she'd just hate him more and he's really not sure how to fix that problem, other than doing whatever she asks with no complaints and hoping she appreciates it.

Vader: [looks at children wandering by, has complicated emotions] Leia, tired of his shit: What now? Vader: I killed them, once. Leia, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath: And you're not going to do that again. No killing children. Vader: I know that. Leia: Great. I am... regretting asking. I am so very much regretting asking.

I do really like the idea of someone asking Leia once if she wants Jedi training and she says, no, actually, she's fully aware of the fact that she's angry little ball of hate sometimes, especially towards her bio father, and she'd like to refrain from putting herself in a position where she knows enough about the Force to Fall. She wouldn't Fall. But it does make people shut up.

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I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

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cleaning with ADHD is a nightmare. it’s an endless cycle of finding a half-finished chore and stopping the one you were already working on, then remembering that something else needs to be done and getting started on that, then finding half-finished chore and

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Read a fucking comic man

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PROPAGANDA

Ivo Robotnik:

Funny robot building man (also I dont actually know if he has a doctorate or not). Metal sonic is my goat so I coudnt not. (Not reslly propaganda but das ok)

Agatha Heterodyne:

The main character mad scientist in a comic full of them

She's the titular Girl Genius, which is a good start. In the comic, mad science is genetic and called the Spark; she's the latest in a long line of of powerful, mostly evil Sparks who terrorized Europa for centuries, until her father and uncle became heroes instead. She's a bit in between the two extremes. Some of her greatest hits include: building a small army of self-replicating robots, briefly killing one of her romantic interests in order to cure him of a terminal illness (he thought it was a brilliant idea), repeating the procedure on herself, nearly blowing up after glimpsing the fabric of the universe, repairing the sentient castle at the heart of her town, frequently having to shuffle around brains that end up in the wrong body (they are usually happier afterwards), building a giant robot in order to ask the Godqueen of England to dance, and making coffee. At this time in the comic, she recently rescued her town from being frozen in time and is working to kill a horror from another dimension.

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PROPAGANDA

Heinz Doofenshmirtz:

You see Perry the Platypus when I was a young lad back in Gimmelshtomp they used to have annual Mad Science competitions. I had entered that contest every year and yet my various -inators were all overshadowed by GARY with his evil baking soda volcano! And so now I have created the EvilBakingSoda-Inator which will turn the whole Tri-State Area into a baking soda volcano! And Gary will cry because he could never make such a good evil baking soda volcano as I!!!!

THE mad scientist

He's the very definition of mad! His inators are bat shit crazy ideas that no one needs, most of the "problems" he's trying to solve aren't problems and could certainly be handled without spending millions on a machine that doesn't even work. Yet he keeps trying to take over the Tri-State Area.

His parents never showed up to his own birth…he was raised by ocelots…he was forced to stand still and be a lawn gnome for years….😭😭😭 Also he can be read as transmasc YAY

Doofenshmirtz evil incorporated, propaganda. He was a garden gnome for a time, his parents didn’t show up for his birth, he’s a great dad, his best friend was a balloon, his new best friend and low key boyfriend is a teal platypus in a fedora, he’s legally an ocelot, he blows up everything he makes.

Agatha Heterodyne:

The main character mad scientist in a comic full of them

She's the titular Girl Genius, which is a good start. In the comic, mad science is genetic and called the Spark; she's the latest in a long line of of powerful, mostly evil Sparks who terrorized Europa for centuries, until her father and uncle became heroes instead. She's a bit in between the two extremes. Some of her greatest hits include: building a small army of self-replicating robots, briefly killing one of her romantic interests in order to cure him of a terminal illness (he thought it was a brilliant idea), repeating the procedure on herself, nearly blowing up after glimpsing the fabric of the universe, repairing the sentient castle at the heart of her town, frequently having to shuffle around brains that end up in the wrong body (they are usually happier afterwards), building a giant robot in order to ask the Godqueen of England to dance, and making coffee. At this time in the comic, she recently rescued her town from being frozen in time and is working to kill a horror from another dimension.

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Do not. Under any circumstances. Do not even. Do not. Absolutely not. Even if you are in a country with universal healthcare. Even if you are in a hospital right now and have a doctor waiting. No.

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Countries should threaten release American works into the public domain, n-years earlier, as a special punishment for America's poor behaviour in trade recently. If America threatens revenge in kind, then horror of horrors, we might end up with reasonable international copyright system with copyrights of a reasonable length.