ultravivecollection-blog

[ultravivecollection-blog]

A Fan

Italics=flashback 

Y/H/T= your home town

“I’m telling you the truth.” Tyler shouts out to Y/N, who is walking away from him. He was in the process of telling you how he feels, but you rejected his feelings and was fleeting away for him and his words. “If… Goddamnit, if you would just listen to me for one second, Please.”

You finally stop in your tracks, turning around to look at the 6 feet tall man in front of you, wearing a white button up that was loosely buttoned, black slacks, dress shoes, and covered in tattoos. From his attire, you figured he must have come straight from his hockey game when he heard that you were moving back to your hometown.

Ever since you guys met one another when he was trying to escape TMZ from taking pictures of him during his wild night out when he was suppose to be home getting ready for the playoffs that weekend, the two of you spent the past year growing closer. Taking an internship in Dallas, you both remained friends and spent many days and nights together. But the night that you had met, Tyler knew that he had met someone special, someone that saw him from who he is, and not just for his status and his money. He was beginning to fall in love with you and those feelings began to reveal themselves more and more during your friendship. However, you felt differently for the situation. Although, you were in love with him and never wanted to admit it to anyone, you thought it would be easier to leave your guys time behind instead of trying to make the relationship happen. Despite your feelings for him, you weren’t willing to put your heart on the line for former bad boy Tyler Seguin.

Y/N eyes had just adjusted to the darkness when you finally realized who had just grabbed you and forced the two of you inside a closet in a business building. It was the beginning of her Christmas break and you and your friends had decided to go to Dallas for the weekend to celebrate finishing the semester. Going out to the clubs in downtown Dallas, you noticed the crowds of people rushing inside a particular building, where you happened to be walking by to meet with your friends. While almost reaching to where you needed to be, your met eyes with a tall man and before you could say anything, he had covered your mouth, grabbed you, and brought the both of you into the close space.

Tyler began pacing around, trying to get more service on his phone, but when he realized that he couldn’t, he threw his hat on the ground and kicked the wall. “I’m fucking screwed.”

You scoffed at him. “I’m the one here locked inside of a closet with a random guy. I think I’m the one being screwed here.” You went to grab the doorknob, but felt hands pulling them away when they both heard instant chattering outside of the door and cameras flashing.

Tyler put a finger up to his mouth, motioning you to remain silent until the paparazzi had left. He crept the door open to get a better look if they were gone, but the paparazzi still remained outside of the door waiting for him to come out of the building.

“Why are they so curious about you?” You asked harshly, understanding why he was now hiding.

“Because I can’t be seen or else I will be in so much trouble. I can’t risk that.” Tyler explained, still pacing around the small room.

“And why was I dragged into this?” You asked, trying to get him to look at you. Tyler eventually locked eyes with you  and for the first time got a good look of the girl he grabbed.  The mystery girl was actually pretty, but nothing like his type. You weren’t very tall, you didn’t have a figure like how he liked his girls to have, and your voice was deep and raspy, but he found himself attracted to the mystery girl.

He shook his head, getting rid of his thoughts of you. “I thought you were going to yell out my name and then that could potentially lead them to find me… but it looks like they already did. So, whether you like it or not we are stuck in here until they leave.”

“I love you Y/N.” Tyler breathes out, as he was catching up to you. He had raced after you for an entire block until they ended up at your car. You open the car doors to put in the rest of your luggage and angrily shut the door to face him. “Why don’t you believe me?”

“Why should I Ty? You have girls falling at your feet and you KNOW it. You know you can get any girl you ever want and the one girl that doesn’t want you, you choose that one.” You laugh at herself, shaking your head in disbelief. “I won’t fall for it. I won’t allow it. Or did you already forget that I know you too well?”

An hour had passed in the closet and the paparazzi still remained outside. Tyler and Y/N sat on the ground with their back against the walls and faced one another. Tyler sat with his knees up, his arms resting on them, as he stared at the ceiling wondering how he let himself end up here. He promised Jamie that he wouldn’t party anymore and yet here he was, stuck inside of a janitor closet with a random college girl who was way too young for him. You sat with your legs crossed, leaning your head up against the wall, trying to make up a perfect excuse to why you were MIA from your friends.

Your head shot up when you heard Tyler start to chuckle. That was the first noise either one of them had made for a long time. “What?” you asked.

“We never even introduced ourselves. We are stuck in this closet together and I don't even know your name.”

“Yeah no thanks to you.” You mumbled to yourself. You looked back up at him to see that Tyler was being serious. He really did want to know who you were. “Okay fine. I’m Y/N.”

He stuck his hand out in between them and introduced himself. “Tyler Seguin.” 

His first instinct was for your face to turn red and start fan girling, but when he noticed that you remained neutral, taking his hand into yours, he realized that you had no idea who he is.

“So what do you do Tyler Seguin? What could you do that is so important that people have to chase you for a picture?” You asked, hugging her legs close to your chest.

“Professional hockey player. I’m the center for the Dallas Stars.” He told you, his chest noticeably puffing out further. When he saw that your expression didn’t show any amusement, he cleared his throat. “Uh..I’m not suppose to be out partying. We have playoffs this weekend and if I’m caught out, my career will be over.”

“Your career can’t end that quickly for just one night of having fun.” you argued. Tyler gave you a look that read that this wasn’t the first night that he has been in trouble for going out. “Two nights?” He looked at you again. “Okay, so you’re a frequent partier then.”

“Got traded from the Bruins years ago for my former partying days. It was a wake up call.” Tyler began to feel awkward talking about his past. Looking back on that period of his life, wasn’t his favorite subject to talk about or think about. “Uh.. but what about you? What do you do?”

“I’m just here for the weekend, but I think I’ll be living here for awhile for an internship I landed, but who knows. I’m finishing my last year in college.”

“You from around here?”

“No actually.. Y/H/T, but I’m staying with a friend and I have family here.”

“So what do you study?”

“Psychology. I want to be a shrink.”

Tyler began to laugh at the phrase. Throughout his lifetime, many of his coaches made Tyler see a therapist and none of them have worked on him. He didn’t believe that what they did truly worked and found them to be useless. “Let me guess.. you’ve been analyzing me this entire time?”

“I might have been.”

“You and I both know that you feel the same way.” Tyler says softly, his face just inches away from yours. He stood in front of your car door, blocking you from getting in and driving back home.

“You don’t know how I feel. You just think everyone is in love with you, don’t you? Well, I may be the only girl in this city that isn’t willing to fall for you.” You say sharply. Right when the words flew out of your mouth you regretted it, but you wanted to tell him any lie you could think of to get him to let you go. Your heart has been broken too many times to count by guys like Tyler. Guys that are too good for you and guys that will eventually get tired of you and find someone else.

Tyler took a few steps back, wanting to rip his hair out. He knew you were holding back and saying these things just to hurt him, but he wouldn’t let them. The look in your eyes proves that you love him and he is going to get you to admit it. He has never been so sure about anything in his life than ever before.

“You’re lying Y/N/N. I know you too. I know that you're scared, but you don't have to be with me. I will treat you better than any guy you have been with. I swear to it.”

“And that’s why I was traded over here to Dallas. My lifestyle wasn’t the greatest and I could have gone about it differently, but I’m where I am suppose to be.” Tyler sighed, letting out his truth on what happened during his time in Boston. He was ashamed for some of his actions and partially embarrassed hearing him say it. His eyes finally looked up at yours expecting to see judgmental eyes. “Aren’t you going to judge me or yell at me for what I did?”

You rolled her eyes, adjusting yourself so she could sit closer to him. “Not even a little bit.”

“I forgot you therapist don’t see sin.” Tyler mocked at you.

“No actually, I do see sin. I see it in everyone and especially me. That’s what keeps me from judging because I have my own mistakes too. And it’s like what you said, if you hadn’t of done all those things, then you wouldn’t be here.”

Tyler was impressed by this random girl that he had met only a couple of hours ago. Upon first meeting, he figured you would be annoying, but he quickly found himself opening up to you and found it surprisingly easy to do so. “You don’t think I’m a bad guy then?”

“I think you were a 20 year old guy, living on his own for the very first time, who had just won the Stanley Cup.” you said, giving him a small smile. “But I can’t believe you got the cup tattooed on your ass.”

Your eyes bored into Tyler’s as you felt tears prick your eyes. You know Tyler was telling the truth about you being scared, but even your feelings for Tyler couldn't help you to open up. Every time you had let someone in, you walked away with disappointment and a broken heart. You have always been the one who is damaged the most while Tyler is the one that is known for breaking other girls hearts. There is no way the two of them could work, you kept telling herself.

“Our friendship will be ruined. What if things don't work? Then what? We just go back to being friends or we completely forget about each other? That’s a lot to ask of a person, don't you think?” You shouted at him.

“You told me that I don’t let people in. Well Y/N that’s exactly what I am doing. I’m trying to let you in.” He took your face into both of his hands and felt your jaw clench. You were physically and mentally trying to block him out, but your eyes were telling him differently. He could see your feelings for him by the way your moist eyes were locked into his and the way your eyes are dilated. Tyler’s focus shifted to your lips, licking his own, imaging what it will be like if he just leaned in to make you his own.

You began to get your conscious back when you had realized that you fell asleep on the Dallas Star hockey player. Your head laid on his shoulder while his leaned on top of yours, his arm loosely wrapped behind your waist, and their legs intertwined together. You quietly wiggled out of his grip and looked for your phone that Tyler was partially sitting on. When going in to grab it, Tyler stirred and his eyes slowly opened.

Your eyes met one another and Tyler frantically stood up when he remembered about having early practice. “What time is it?”

“7 AM.” You answered, pulling your hair up into a pony tail. You looked down at your phone and saw several missed calls and text messages from your friends. Your mind began to buzz with whether you should lie to your friends or explain to them about your night with a professional athlete.

Tyler stared at you when you pulled your hair back. His eyes focusing on your neck while he watched your mind working. He knew that you had a lot to explain to your friends and probably took away a fun night from you. Tyler felt guilty, but replaying Y/N  falling asleep on his shoulder, he couldn’t find himself to regret dragging you into the small closet. Being together in the small space didn’t seem like enough alone time with you. The young college girl is alluring and full of wisdom, he wanted to know more.

“I-uh.. should get going. I bet they’re all gone now, so I think you’re good.” you spoke up, getting him out of his trance.

“What? Oh yeah. Yeah, I got early practice anyways, so I should head out with you. Can I get you a ride anywhere?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

The two stood in silence, still staring at each other. Even though none of you knew it, the both of you didn’t want to leave one another like this. The idea to exchange phone numbers felt like a stupid thing to do since it wasn’t like you were going to see each other ever again. There was no point in trying to stay in contact since this was all just a coincidence. Tyler has a playoff game to win and Y/N was returning back home that afternoon. The possibilities of their relationship was endless, but was ultimately pointless. These were the lies they fed themselves with.

“Well, thanks for dragging me into this closet with you. It was nice to finally meet a professional hockey player.” You said, finally breaking the silence.

“Thank you for staying here with me. I’m sure you had a lot more important places to be rather than here with me.”

You gave him one last smile before reaching out to grab the handle to leave, but Tyler grabbed your wrist to stop you. “Wait. Before you go, since you said you want to be a shrink and I know you were analyzing me.. what is your verdict?”

Your eyebrow shot up, surprised that he wanted to hear what you thought of him. You would have figured that your opinion of him wouldn’t matter to him, but here he was asking for it. “Truth is, I knew who you were the entire time. I knew that you were Tyler Seguin, the pride and joy of Dallas and former bad boy with a reputation. I was quite surprised that you were out last night, considering that I also know about your past and given the way you talk about it proves you're ashamed.” His eyebrows scrunched together, crossing his arms, listening more intently. “I think you have a hard time accepting your past and since your reputation is so well-known you think there is no reason at all to change who you are. You are so set in your ways, and thats flaw number one. You are comfortable in this lifestyle that you don’t ever want to leave because it’s the only thing that you know.”

“I-“

“But it’s all fake. You sleep around with girls and party relentlessly because you're insecure. You secretly care what people think and say about you, but since you already know what they say about you, you stay right where you are. You’re worried that people won’t like you, the real you. And thats flaw number two.”

“People do like me.” Tyler argued, raising his voice. “I’m one of the greatest hockey players in the league.”

“And your biggest flaw of all. You hide behind your mask. You say you are a hockey player and that’s it. Is that all there is to Tyler Seguin? You believe people only like you because of what you do and not for who you are. All this “bad boy” facade you put up, it’s to hide the fact that you’re too scared to let anyone in, but really letting someone in might be the greatest thing to ever happen to you. The reason why you’re not happy is not due to the fact that the Bruins no longer wanted you or because your team didn’t make it to the playoffs last season, but because you won’t allow yourself to be happy. And I also bet deep down, you already knew everything that I just told you.”

Tyler stood in place like a statue, not finding the words to say. He remains frozen in his stance, taking in every word that you said. Listening to your verdict, he knew that you were right, but to hear it from someone that he just met, took the words right out of his mouth. It was an entire different kind of reality check that he almost felt embarrassed. This girl some how was able to see right through him and figure him out, while he barely knew who he is. It took him 27 years to get a good idea of who he is and what he is meant to be, but it took you a night just to see him as what he really is: insecure.

“Sorry if I came off crude, but you did ask. I know you’re scared to give up your freedom, but I don't think you truly know what that is. You're trapped in your old habits and in your mistakes. Real freedom begins with forgiveness and we all do things that we wish we hadn't have done. Our actions may not be forgetful, but they are forgivable.” Giving him one last smile with your eyes, you grabbed the door to leave before wishing him goodbye. “Best of luck this weekend.” 

“That night. That night changed everything for me Y/N. You are the first girl to ever see me for who I am and didn’t leave. You took the time to get to know me and not who I want people to think I am.” He breathed out. “I fell in love that night. I didn’t mean to, but I did.”

You finally let go and felt yourself melting into his hands. You knew that after that night, you too fell in love. “I don't want to get hurt.” You whisper.

“I know.. I don't either.”

“What do we do?”

“This.” Tyler leans down to press his lips to yours. Their lips move against each other, his hands still cupping your face, and your arms moving to wrap yourself around his neck. They stayed close in contact feeling their heartbeats beating out of their chest and their uneven breaths. Tyler finally felt happy and complete. He found someone to fight his demons with him and who helped him let go of his rough past. You allowed him to open up and be vulnerable and now he knows what freedom is. Your heart felt safe and secured. Someone like Tyler brought out the romantic side in you and you now have someone who wants to treasure you.

You leaned back, gasping for air. His eyes shifts down to look at your swollen lips and back to your eyes. “You never said it back.”

“And flaw number four. You assume everyone is in love with you.” You smile at him, feeling his grip around your waist tighten. “But I’m not everyone… and you’re right, I am completely in love with you.”

[ultravivecollection-blog]

3:15

Inspired by 3:15 by Bazzi

Auston laid next to Y/N as you slept on you side still wrapped into his arms. You fell asleep clinging onto his t-shirt that you were wearing to your face so you could be surrounded by the scent of him. It wasn’t every day that you could be in his arms, let alone just being in his presence. The two of you have been secretly seeing each other for the past two years and even though there wasn’t a label on the relationship, Auston has never felt this way about any girl in his life. He liked having someone that could be there for him throughout his career when there were ups and downs.Y/N had the life that he knew wasn’t meant for him, but sometimes he would feel jealous at the fact that you were a normal 21 year old in college. Y/N was able to go out and have fun and not have to worry about 5:15 AM workouts or set an alarm on his phone to make sure he got back enough in time for curfew. You were free to do whatever you liked, and he would be lying if he were to say that he wasn’t living through you.

While his friends went back home to visit their girlfriends/wives on their rare weekends off, Auston would go to your secret meeting spot where the two of you spent a night together. The guys had almost three full days to be with their loved ones, while Auston decided to spend one full day of traveling, one night with you, and spent the last day traveling back. It was all worth it in the end for Auston. Many of the guys have caught on to how he mysteriously leaves and they never hear from him or see him on social media. When asking him where he goes, Auston would just smirk and wish his teammates a fun and safe weekend. Being with you is purely just for him and something he wanted to keep to himself. He didn’t want anything to get in the way of risking that.

Now here he was with his arms around your frame, taking in the last few moments you had together. Auston glanced over at the clock that mentally reminded him that he had a flight to catch that morning and began beating himself up for choosing an early flight, but deep down he knew why. Nights with you were always fun and leaving was always the hardest, but somehow it also made things easier on him. Leaving early in the morning prevented him from facing the fact that he might have fallen in love with you a long time ago, but by the time he was back on the road, he was already thinking about hockey and forgotten about the way you make him feel.

Your eyes shot open at the sound of a door closing and you knew that Auston had left. It was the same thing every single time you guys stayed together, but you grew to accept it and even though it took you time to get use to it, you still felt a small pang of hurt in your chest. You leaned over to lay down on the side where his head once laid and smiled the scent of his cologne. The rare nights you had with the famous hockey player made you feel loyal and committed to him. Back at school, you felt like you couldn’t fully give yourself to anyone because a part of you is always left back in the same hotel room you guys share in East Lansing. You have known for over a year now that you were in love with him and a part of you knew that he loves you too, but given the distance and his fear of commitment, you both left those words unsaid and allowed your bodies do the talking.

You took a deep breath before getting out of bed to pack your things and get ready for your drive back to college. Taking your time, you looked back over to the bed to think back on all of last night’s late adventures you guys had. You grabbed her bag, turned in the key at the front desk, and got into the car as if nothing had happened.

“Hey I’m on my way back.” You said to your roommate on the phone. “Yeah my family was great. It was good seeing them again.” You lied.

4 months later Y/N and Auston were running around downtown East Lansing, laughing and mixing into the busy college crowd. Neither of you knew the city or anyone there, but you guys always had fun trying to fit in and act like you were students there. You and Auston ran across the street hand in hand, feeling your stomachs warm of alcohol. Your face was flushed and your vision was a little too blurry to comprehend where you guys were headed to next. While Auston’s face was red too from the drinks he had at dinner, Auston was still a gentleman and wanted to make sure he was wasn’t impaired so he could take care of you.

“I think I could fit in at Michigan State. I feel like I could really like this place given I practically spend quite a few nights here for the past two years.” You drunkly laughed.

“Yeah? Well its a hell of a hockey town. More so than your southern college town.” Auston joked, helping you get into the car. “You comfortable? You’re not going to throw up are you?”

You giggled some more as Auston buckled you up. “I don't think so. Let’s stop on the way to to the hotel. I want to get some more drinks for us.”

Before you knew it, the two of you had successfully drank through an entire bottle of Tito’s and were dancing around the hotel room to old Frank Sinatra music. Your arms were wrapped around his neck as you pulled Auston with you till you both were floating all across the room. He was laughing and gazing down at you and finally felt like he was a normal person again. All of his worries about playoffs and the pressure about having a good self image began to disappear and he was able to live in the moment. He loved who he was when he was with you.

“Tell me more about Toronto.” You said, meeting his gaze. “One day I would like to go, so I want to hear about it. What are the people like?”

“People are nicer in Canada than they are here in America.” But the girls aren’t nearly as amazing as you, he said to himself. “I love it out there.”

“You know you are real committed to your life there. You’re real secretive about it all.” You said, slowing down your movements till you were both slow dancing.

He wrapped his arms tighter around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “You’re the only things that makes me wish things were different.”

“Me? No you don’t mean that. You’re Auston Matthews. People tremble on the ice when they hear that name.” You laughed, throwing her head back. Y/N looked back at Auston, who hasn’t broken his gaze. You felt the seriousness in his demeanor and it hit you that he was telling the truth. “Don’t say things like that.”

“Why not?”

“B-Because you're going to leave me in the morning and god knows when I’ll see you again. You’ve got a lot going on and that’s what you should be focusing on Aus.”

“But we have right now, don’t we?” He asked, bringing his face closer into yours.

“That’s more than I could ever ask from you.” And you closed the gap between them.

You guys spent the rest of their night wrapped up into each other in bed, feeling each other in places where you both have missed the most. Every night that he had with you was special, but this night was different from the rest. He was giving you his all and putting your needs before his own. After the three rounds you two had, Auston laid on top of you while you both tried to catch your breaths again. His hands were locked in your hair while the other hand was stroking your soft cheek. He looked down at your doe liked eyes and leaned down to press a small kiss on your forehead. For a moment it felt like you were fully his.

Later that night, Y/N was always the first to sleep, but this time you laid awake in his arms. You kept replaying what he had told you earlier that night. Although it was an unfair thing to say to you, you couldn’t help the smile that crept onto your face knowing that he felt that way about you. It was the closest thing that either one of you had said about your true feelings for one another. Wrapping your arms tighter around the arms that were already around you, you closed your eyes once you had mentally prepared yourself for a long drive back home and the sound of a door closing.

That morning Auston looked back over his shoulder to take one last look at Y/N. He always seemed to leave at the same time every morning, but leaving this time would be the hardest for him. His mind was telling him to leave, but his heart was screaming that he didn’t want to. But Auston was an intellectual guy and always went with his head over his heart. He walked out, closed the door, and set his game face on. Auston has a game he needs to start preparing for and just like every single time, that became his first priority again.

Y/N eyes shot open at the sound of a door closing, rolled over to smell him, and got up to get ready to leave to do it all over again.