uchiha-simp

[uchiha-simp]

The manner in which people bust their genitals to defend Hinata’s lack of interest in eradicating slavery is mind-blowing. Children who went through hell and back accomplished far more and, at times (in case of Sasuke), alone: Sasuke experienced genocide, torture, and additional trauma by living in the same quarters where his entire clan was eradicated, yet he still strove to get even with all the forces who put his clan through that ordeal; Ame orphans lived through starvation, war, and setbacks, but they created Akatsuki to realize their dreams of a better world; Madara lost his brothers one by one as he grew up in times of war, failed to protect the last brother (whom he loved immeasurably), and had the added burden of being the clan’s heir, but he fought till his last breath; Kabuto was trained as a spy and forced to kill others by Root just to survive, and he began his anti-Konoha activities at the mere age of 14 or 15; Obito was left for dead, and he started to bring the Akatsuki plan to fruition at 13; etc.

What’s Hinata’s excuse? She’s too shy? She stutters? Her daddy’s a lil’ mean to her? Compare that to the children above and do tell as to how this privileged “princess” had it so much harder than others in spite of the fact that the Branch Family members served as body shields (literally) to protect her; Jōnins safeguarded her against fatal attacks in the examinations that allowed them by law; and Hyūga guards, which were personally assigned to her, protected her against incursions (do read the Pain’s Arc again; it might blow your mind). No other kids, not even the ones from clans, were offered these perks. Kishimoto wasn’t sexist in regard to her; no, he showed a privileged cunt, many of which exist in our world, who didn’t want to do anything about the lesser-society that crumbled about her (Konan exists as a female voice of change, so your entire discourse around this sexism charge is farcical); it’s no wonder Naruto’s toad-like mug and little Jutsu-stick were the only things that tickled all her fancy and fanny.

The only reason you feel more sorry for her is that you project onto her. There isn’t any logical reason to feel pity for this privileged piece o’ shit that didn’t do a damn thing to aid her own cousin, a young boy who suffered immensely because of slavery, which was imposed upon him at the tender age of 5. How the fuck does she even have fans beyond the “I’ve got daddy issues, too, so she’s so me!” rhetoric you lot keep spinning? She’s not even a well-written character (is she even a character?); and she fights … for literally nothing save Naruto’s wee-wee. What does she believe in? What is her belief? Ideology? Fucking any damn thing other than the fact that she wants to land on Naruto’s half-smoked joint? (Throw dirt at Sakura all you want, but she became the third best medic in the world despite suffering from a massive inferiority complex, despite having no privilege, and despite battling it out against scores of students that came from clan-backgrounds; Hinata didn’t even bother to become a decent ninja when her own father and Neji tutored her; I suppose, she wanted to shinobi-run through life on pop’s money, stature, and slaves.) That’s why I can’t stand projection, because then, every damn thing becomes about you; and the narrative is left behind to flounder outside context in the wake of this self-pitying stupidity.

[uchiha-simp]

Absolutely yes. Unless it’s Sushui or whatever his name is. That bitch ain’t laying a finger on me

A list of men I’d allow to do anything to me:

Uchiha men

[uchiha-simp]

Toxic Exes Series :

🔪Uchiha Sasuke🩸

(TW : toxicity, mentions of blood/violence/torture, yandere themes)

There is no such thing as “breaking up” with Uchiha Sasuke. No one ever did that, so it really took him by surprise when you told him it was over.

What do you mean you’re leaving? As if you could go anywhere without his permission. The audacity.

You snapped and yelled at him before storming off from your shared apartment. You broke up because he treated you “like a chair”. Invisible, emotionless, and only acknowledged when he needed something to lean on.

y/n, I have to warn you. Unlike our beloved Uchiha Itachi, Sasuke is absolutely unhinged. Chill toxic ex? Forget about that, you just bought yourself a fucking hurricane.

Uchiha Sasuke is a cold man. He doesn’t really show any emotions besides apathy or boredom. But when it comes to you, all he is able to show is pure, seething rage.

Sasuke wanted to act indifferent but he failed immediately. You and your silly little games were getting on his nerves. You were doing it for attention, that was clear as day. There was absolutely no other reason for this charade. His mistake though, he was too lenient with you and allowed you to misbehave. And now he had to teach you some discipline and put you back in your place.

Sasuke is not subtle. Every guy who dares to look at you is immediately identified as a threat. Like a natural disaster, he strikes with no warning, no mercy. Your male acquaintances, from strangers to friends, started ending up in the hospital or going “missing”. Everybody knows it’s him, but no one dares to say anything. Except Naruto who tried reasoning with him but just ended up chidori-fried.

Sasuke will monitor your every movement shamelessly . Turns out he has a snake following you everywhere, and that little creature poisons anyone it deems “suspicious” when Sasuke is not there to do it himself. He doesn’t even deny it, it’s his right to know his woman’s whereabouts after all.

When he isn’t on a mission, he literally follows you everywhere, though he does make it seem like you��re the one following him.

He is always where you planned to go before you arrive. And when he sees you, he smugly smirks. Sai started telling everyone that you’re so obsessed with the Uchiha that you run to whatever place he is. Sasuke always finds a way to turn everything to his own advantage.

His sharingan is always activated when you’re around, and you can always feel his intense glare at the back of your neck and the murderous intent emaniting from him. He would sit across the bar and watch you obsessively all night long when you’re with friends. Yes, people do look at him strangely. No, he does not care.

Uchiha Sasuke breaks into your house with no warning. He has a spare key, but he isn’t against smashing some windows and breaking some plates to assert dominance. He would barge in in the middle of the night/day, frantically searching for your “lover” who is apparently hiding there. Of course, he finds nothing, but he still spits some venom at you for good measure. “It’s not like any sensible man would fall for a failure like you”

Uchiha Sasuke leaves you notes to remind you who you belong to. Romantic, right? A sheet of paper on your bedside, a message carved into your dining table, “you are mine” painted on your bathroom mirror with human blood, and in most extreme cases, a message directly etched into your skin. He needs no blade to hurt you, he developed a ninjutsu to “keep you close”

Uchiha Sasuke told every girl in the village to “reason” with you. Since they all have a crush on him, they do as he says. So all your friends became his personal tools. Sakura only talks about how you two are perfect for each other. Ino always gives you a free rose at the flower shop and says it’s from Sasuke. Karin can’t stop rambling about how your chakras are “complementary”. Only Hinata and Tenten don’t harass you, although they do talk about their own romantic struggles all the time.

Uchiha Sasuke is so feared in Konoha that people start avoiding you to escape his wrath. You start feeling like a ghost, completely unheard and unseen in your own home. Even your closest friends disappear at the mere sight of you, and don’t even get me started on the civilians who just act like you’re not in front of them repeating the same sentence for the tenth fucking time.

Your own parents asked you to keep your distance until you “figured things out with your lover”. Apparently, they always have the same terrifying nightmare every night. They dream of death and chaos and destruction, and with a man with bright red eyes holding a bloodied sword in his hand. Your little sister begged you to go back to Sasuke or else “the prophecy of the red-eyed will come to life”

Sasuke isn’t above resorting to violence if you keep up this masquerade. Once his patience runs out, you can only blame yourself. Since the nice way doesn’t work with you, it’s time for something more radical.

He will kidnap you and lock you in a room if you don’t come to your senses. If you still oppose him, he will move you to the basement and won’t let you see the sunlight. You can scream and cry all you want, no one is coming to take you away from him. Fight back and he will “discipline” you in all ways imaginable.

If you are really persistent after all of the emotional and physical torture, then he will have to use the ms. He wanted to keep your mind relatively yours, since he knows what the ms does to one’s mind, but you gave him no other choice.

From then on it’s game over. No human could withstand the mortifying effects of the Uchiha’s genjutsu. With your mind in pieces and your dignity torn to shreds, you obediently go back to him and turn into the precious precious lover you were supposed to be before all of this break up nonsense.

It’s amazing, y/n, isn’t it? He took care of the problem and saved you. A real man knows how to keep his woman in check and fix what she breaks. Uchiha Sasuke truly is the best of all men.

Fun fact : I was supposed to post this yesterday with my Itachi one but it didn’t feel Sasuke-ish so I rewrote it asap (means I added more toxicity)

Anyhow, I will try to get the Sanji and Luffy ones either tonight or tomorrow. Wish me luck 🥴

[uchiha-simp]

Literally all my anime husbands 😭

[uchiha-simp]

ミン

[uchiha-simp]

Toxic Exes series:

Itachi

Sasuke

[uchiha-simp]

Toxic Exes Series :

✨Uchiha Itachi 🩸

(TW : toxic behaviour, manipulation, yandere themes)

This man doesn’t believe in breaking up. Dating a Uchiha is a life sentence, whether you like it or not

You were the one who decided to end the relationship because he was “too controlling”and “treated you like property”. Oh dear, you don’t know the half of it

Itachi is nothing but cold rage, silent hatred. You broke up with him shaking and crying and screaming at the top of your lungs and he just sat there with a cold harsh smirk, saying nothing, except arrogantly correcting you when you make a grammatical error.

The night you two broke up, you locked yourself in your shared room the whole night, packing your things and getting ready to leave. When morning came and it was time to go, he watched you leave without batting an eye. Only his sharingan was activated, but he did not utter a single word to you

you thought you could just go back to your old life, simply being a kunoichi and living normally. You thought THE Uchiha Itachi would just accept the situation. Foolish foolish you

Itachi is a very calm person. He doesn’t let himself get carried away by his emotions, and this whole break up bullshit you invented was just another mission for him that he needed to accomplish. For him, you were a lost pet that needed to return to its master. You just needed a little help to get back to him

Itachi knows where you are at every moment of the day. He has his crows following you wherever you go, whether you’re in Konoha or out on a mission. He already knows who you talked to, who you laughed with, who you smiled at. It is to protect you, of course, and to eliminate any possible threats, like that cute waiter you talked to at the bar. Or the recently divorced baker who likes to offer you his soggy croissants every morning. They put you in danger, y/n, and he has to protect you. You are his after all

Itachi takes care of all problems and eliminates all threats, so do not blame him for using the ms on that waiter and traumatizing him for life, or for breaking every single bone in the baker’s body and forcing him to leave the village. It was necessary, for your safety.

You start seeing his face everywhere in all the people that you meet and all the places where you go. He seems to appear out of nowhere and disappear out of thin air, but you were sure it was him. You could feel his hot breath tickling your skin every time, and his smell, you could never forget it.

Uchiha Itachi is a kind person. That is why he leaves you alone, for now. He won’t talk to you, he’ll even act like you don’t exist anymore, but he is plotting to get you back.

Itachi may not talk to you, but he sure does spend a lot of time with your loved ones. Your father? He plays Shogi with him every friday night. Your mother? He helps her with her garden every sunday. Your little brother? Guess who taught him how to use a shuriken and a kunai knife? It’s him, obviously.

He cast a genjutsu on your friends and family to make them believe that you were overreacting and falsely accusing him. Everyone keeps blaming you for ruining a perfect relationship with such a perfect man. Why would you do that, y/n?

After a while, you stop going on missions. He had a little chat with Danzo and convinced him that you were not fit to be a Shinobi, and Danzo just stopped assigning you missions, so you stop getting paid and have to move back in with your parents.

Itachi doesn’t believe in boundaries or personal space, he just pops up randomly into your room, sitting on your bed with a cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other, and chastises you for coming home late. “3am? Really, y/n, you disappoint me.”

Itachi would then use his ms on you, not to torture you of course, but to show you the beautiful life you two would have if you just stopped being so damn stubborn

Uchiha Itachi told his family and friends that you two were still together, and that you just needed some space. Sasuke still calls you his sister in law or Itachi’s wife, even though you told him a thousand times you two were not together anymore. He doesn’t believe you “You’re really annoying, y/n. This joke has gotten old”

Your parents invite Itachi to all family gatherings. No matter how much you try to avoid him, he’s always near, and you can’t even have a minute to yourself since your parents even trusted him with the house’s keys.

Itachi convinced your parents that it would be best for you to kick you out. You are a grown woman after all. And they did, in fact, kick you out.

You have no job, no home. Itachi warned the other Shinobi not to lend you a hand because you were “mentally in a dark place” and interfering would only worsen your case. They believed him.

When you were at your lowest, only he was there for you. He welcomed you with open arms. He had to be the bigger person AGAIN. He had to forgive your silly mistakes AGAIN. So nice and considerate of him, don’t you think?

Youwent back to him. It’s not like you have a choice in the matter , Itachi always gets what he wants

Fun fact : this fic was written twice bc my friend convinced me that Itachi was a chill toxic ex and not an agressive one 👀

Anyhow, Sanji/Sasuke/Luffy coming up soon 😗

[uchiha-simp]

Hello fellow weebs 💜

Welcome to my (completely unplanned for) tumblr account !

I only made this bc the anime brain rot is too strong, and writing fanfics only for myself and not sharing them is very boring. If I obsess over smthg, then ppl have to suffer with me :)

About me (not that anyone cares)

Call me Yamao. She/her

Neurodivergent

Been watching anime since I was 5

Obsessed with Naruto and One Piece (tho I do watch other anime dw)

I don’t like molten cheese

I have too many anime husbands

Everything I write is a direct result of a brain rot

Muslim 🌙

My absolute fav ships

Luffy x Hancock

Sasuhina

RenMitsu

Sanji x Pudding

Mihawk x Hancock

+more, these are just the ones I remember rn.

BTW it doesn’t mean I’m gonna write any fanfics abt them, I just thought it’d be great to let ppl know what I like 😗

What I write about

Fandoms : One Piece, Naruto, Kny…(might write abt others in the future)

Characters : (I write y/n x canon and canon x canon. Might include OCs in the future)

OP boys : I write abt all the attractive ones, but here are my favs : Luffy, Sanji, Mihawk, Doffy, Kaido, Shanks, Ace, Sabo, King, Akainu, Kizaru, etc…

Naruto boys : I’m such an Uchiha simp so I WILL be writing mainly abt Itachi and Sasuke just bc I want to. I also write abt Gaara, Naruto, Neji (I love him so much), Kakashi, Sai, and all the Akatsuki bc they deserve it. I hate Tobirama so he’s the only one I refuse to write abt :)

Kny boys : All the slayers except the blind one and Obanai (I just don’t like him). I also love my demons, so Kokushibo, Muzan, Douma and Akaza are a big YES. Might sprinkle so Yoriichi while I’m at it

Other : Honestly idk yet so if you have smthg to request just shoot your shot, might make it my next obsession 😗

What I write :

Headcannons : I love them so much it’s my fav thing to write

Short fics/one shots : Also love them, might write part 2s or more if I like it

Series : I have one long ass series (the snake & the dragon) I’m working on. I love it too much and I have like 3 arcs planned (it’s abt Sasuke and his kids btw). I’m also down for headcannon series, they’re the best (I have a few ready/planned, more on that down below)

Tropes : anything with angst, domestic AUs, mainly toxicity, yanderes, twisted things and morally bankrupt characters. Mature themes but I’ll put tw don’y worry :)

What I DO NOT write :

Smut is a no no (but I don’t mind anything suggestive as long as it isn’t overly graphic). There are plenty of NSFW writers on here so dw

Incest

Polyamory

TOBIRAMA

Blackbeard

Anything too lovey dovey. We like fictional toxicity on here, pls and thank you 😗

Requests

YES YES YES !

An idea? Drabbles? A random thought? A trope? JUST SEND IT TO ME DON’T BE SHY

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you wanna talk abt anything manga or if you want to make a detailed request, I love it <33

Writings :

Below is a masterlist of the things that I wrote/am writing/will write.

I just made this acc so if it’s still empty it means that I’m still searching/working on old fics. Tryna get as much content on here as fast as possible so bear with me 😅 (click on the masterlist )

//Yamao’s masterlist✨//

[uchiha-simp]

✨Yamao’s Masterlist✨

Again, very new to this so if it’s still empty, dw I’m working on it 😗

~Series~

The snake & The dragon (Sasuke fanfic) : in progress (it’s very long)

Toxic exes (multiple characters) : I have Itachi, Sasuke, Sanji, Luffy and Doflamingo already written, will post them soon <33

Champagne problems (the downsides of dating the gentlemen) : I have a few ready,I need to look thru my files 😅

Lose you to love me (y/n and the gentleman breakup : causes/reaction) : in progress

~Headcannons~

One Piece boys

Naruto boys

Kny boys

~One shots/Drabbles~

One Piece

Naruto

Kny

~Short fics~

One piece

Naruto

Kny

Anyhow, I still have classes so I can’t guarantee anything, but I’ll do my best to write as much as I can. Love u 💜

[uchiha-simp]

Ok someone write this pls and thank you

i want naruto and sasuke to be 30, driving to see gaara in suna IN THE CANONVERSE in a fucking car. theres roads now because i said so. sasuke crashes the car because naruto keeps taking pictures of him while hes driving with 1 arm and he reaches over to take away narutos phone. i want naruto to spill his drink everywhere and they get in a mini argument on the side of the road and sasuke blows up the car with fire, and gaara comes to pick them up on a floating pile of fucking sand........