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or the ducks although that makes more sense bc theres no water to place them on

why the fuck wld u introduce the omni-ubiquity net if ur not even gnna let me capture the mini boars :/

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why the fuck wld u introduce the omni-ubiquity net if ur not even gnna let me capture the mini boars :/

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love getting kicked out of co-op for the azhdaha fight for refusing to switch back to xiao from diona bc nobody else had a shield character and the host got offended when i pointed out that bennett doesn’t shield

like yeah i know he cleanses & i know he heals but i dont wanna have to hope ur ult is up & stand in ur circle when xiao is on 5 hp to get healed like ?? this fight is so much easier with a shield or a proper healer (by which i mean qiqi and nobody else)

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holy fuck albedo thats one hell of a lore dump

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“  how the fuck is you will be inlaid upon this statue a catchy line, it doesn’t even make any sense. also, fuck you, striking twice won’t kill me either.  ”  it was playing dead for simplicity.

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playing thru the dodo-king quest on my alt account and the letter we got from maguu kenki outright calls klee a bad girl ,,, yeah yeah its all a setup but still. alice ur fucking awful

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“  if alice thinks inviting me to this archipelago will help her case, she’s wrong. nice ruins, now give me custody of klee or i’ll set up a booby trap for next time you’re rude enough to sneak home without saying hi to klee.  ”

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more angst for you losers

“  how could i possibly trust you again after…everything?  ” “  won’t you at least let me try to make things better?  ” “  please don’t look at me like that.  ” “  stop trying to fix me.  ” “  i thought i could save you. but you can’t pull someone out of a storm if they won’t even take your hand.  ” “  what aren’t you telling me?  ” “  you’re right, you are a monster.  ” “  i keep waiting for you to hurt me.  ” “  how long until you realize i’m here to stay?  ” “  please don’t apologize, because then i won’t be able to help but forgive you and i’m not ready to do that yet.  ” “  sometimes i feel like you’re just waiting for an excuse to leave. ” “  i don’t feel safe here anymore. nowhere feels safe. ” “  i won’t let you ruin us. you’re scared of this but you don’t have to be. ” “  one of these days you’re going to push so hard i won’t be able to pull myself back to you again. ” “  your eyes always look so lost. ” “  loving you is killing me. ” “  i feel like i can’t breathe when you’re not here. ” “  i don’t hate you. but i can’t be in love with you anymore. ” “  why are you looking at me like that? ” “  what happens when i finally fuck up and you finally have to see me for what i am? ” “  i’m scared to let myself want you. ” “  why can’t i be enough? ” “  why won’t you let me help you? why won’t you let me close? ” “  just stay still. let me hold you. ” “  i won’t let you push me away this time. ” “  if you’re so intent on going down this path, then i’m coming with you. ” “  i miss the way you used to smile at me. ” “  i need you. and i hate that i do. ” “  i need to know that you’ll be okay. if something happens to me… ” “  you’re not the person i fell in love with anymore. ” “  why won’t you just let me go? i’m not worth it. ” “  please don’t go. ” “  if you can’t do it for yourself, then do it for me. do it because i need you. ” “  i can’t fix it this time. ” “  do you know how hard it was to let you go? ” “  i don’t think i’ll ever be over you. ” “  i can’t be angry. i’m too tired. i just want it to be over.  ”

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some meme i guess

i’m 🍃 so here’s some random ass sentence starters that i probably got from tiktok

“we share a braincell and it’s my turn to use it today.” 

“i woke up too early today so i’m gonna make it everyone’s problem.”

“hi, i’m gay. give me attention.” 

“you’re probably wondering why i’m so tired, it’s from looking for the fucks to give.” 

“hey look, a depressed ugly bitch.”

“i’m so sorry, i wasn’t listening due to a severe case of ‘i don’t give a fuck.’“

“i look incredibly hot today and i think it’s a crime against humanity that no one is appreciating it.” 

“seriously? i wore my best heels for this?” 

“get in loser, we’re self sabotaging.” 

“oh wait, i just realized i don’t care.” 

“can you say that again? i heard you i just feel like maybe you didn’t hear yourself just say those words.” 

“well if you’re already checking me out, lemme do a spin.” 

“i’m too hot to understand what you’re talking about.” 

“i was going to ask for your opinion, then i remembered you don’t think.” 

“you poor sweet thing, you don’t have a thought behind those eyes do you?” 

“i just tried to cut my own bangs of course i’m not okay.”

“fetch me something gay.” 

“if it feels personal, that’s because it is.” 

“it’s okay for friendships to end. people leave. but not ours though, you know too much.” 

“there’s only room for one mentally unstable bitch in this house and i’ve already filled that position, get yourself together.” 

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devolusion​:

In all her TEN YEAR OLD WISDOM, Diona has the good sense not to mention that her OWN hit - list includes ALICE.  “If the frowny face sposed t’ be me?  I’m not THAT grumpy!”

“  nonono,  ”  klee shakes her head quickly, desperate not to anger her ally friend.  “  it’s ‘cos you only make faces like that when he’s around.  ”  well, not only when he’s around, but jean would probably take even less kindly to klee blowing up half the adult population of mondstadt for the crime of making diona grumpy.  “  it’s, um– shorthand, big brother called it. you draw little pictures instead of writing words, and that makes it super secret so nobody else knows what you’re saying !  ”  she’s quite proud of having remembered that fact, though perhaps her drawing didn’t capture the gist of what she wanted quite as well as she’d hoped.

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“  don’t tell master jean, but klee’s writing a hit list.  ”  it’s six words long, so far, and it says, in childish cursive:

seneschal pegg

mister albert

mister nimrod

each name has a different drawing next to it  —  jumpty dumpties and bombs, and a frowny stick figure meant to represent diona beside nimrod’s name. klee seems to be pretty serious about this.

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devolusion​:

Big brother is the best — he’s never mad at her.  At worst, a little exhausted, occasionally disappointed (  which can be worse, but at least he doesn’t call her bad  ) but never ANGRY.  He doesn’t treat her every action like it’s dangerous or bad, or her every whim makes her bad.  KLEE KNOWS SHE’S BAD, and most of the time it doesn’t really hurt because she’s still loved and it’s not like being good was enough to make Mami stay.  But it stings, somedays, when everyone acts like her joy makes her a bad girl.  It makes her want to shrink, to stop smiling, if only so people stop accusing her of smiling at another’s expense.

“I’m okay,” she says, and she is — or will be, at least, with a bit of time to get out of this mood.  It’s hard, is all.  Sometimes big brother Albedo talks like he’s going away, too, but at least Klee doesn’t think that if he does it will be because he dislikes her.  That’s something.  That’s better than Mami, at least.  “I’m sorry if I made you worried.”  Diona says she should name her feelings.  “Jean is mad at me, so I’m sad, that’s all.”

i’m sorry if i made you worried, she says, and he wonders where did she learn that?  “  i always worry about you, klee– it’s not your fault. it’s what big brothers do.  ”  it’s what mothers are supposed to do, a treacherous part of his mind supplies, but albedo already has custody papers locked in a box in his office for if when alice comes back.  “  i’m not worried because of you, i’m worried because of what the world might try to do to you.  ”  he doesn’t know if the words are coming out right, his mind too hazy with anxiety.

“  jean– isn’t mad, klee. i know it seems like it, when she tells you off for little things , but i promise she doesn’t hate you. you know how i worry about you, because i’m your big brother ?  jean worries about everyone in mondstadt, so she’s very busy, and sometimes the words don’t come out right and she reacts to things in a way she shouldn’t.  ”  it doesn’t make it okay, and he’s still going to have to sit down and have a very long and very difficult talk with jean, but he hopes it will set klee’s mind to rest for a little while.

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fluminas​:

“ protecting diona alone is no longer enough. i need a knife. ”

“  i’d be happy to help teach you how to use a greatsword, if that helps ?  ”

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albedo, internally, pretty much all the time: mondstadt is so fucking lucky im humanoid and not a giant dragon monster like durin,,, theyre also so fucking lucky that if i was a giant dragon monster i’d just be bargaining for klee to be allowed to blow fish up without getting in trouble.

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devolusion​:

Big brother crouches and Klee’s lowered eyes lift when she’s tugged close, into a gentle hug.  After a long moment, small hands raise to return to the embrace.  She doesn’t know how to say EVERY TIME I SMILE EVERYONE ACTS LIKE I’VE BEEN BAD.  The child settles, instead, on murmuring, “You’re the best big brother, too.  Thank you for…not getting mad at Klee.”

his heart aches, and albedo swears a silent vow to never leave klee for too long. if you had been here for her, she could have said something earlier, the part of him that is urging to unleash his full fury on the city they stand in says. if you were more convincing to jean, you could have taken klee with you on your trip. so many ifs, so many mistakes, and the effect is plain to see — though she still calls him the best big brother, her faith in him is unearned and undeserved.

“  i’ll never be mad at you, klee,  ”  he promises, and he means every word of it. she’s a child, and children should always be free to make mistakes and messes and break things without fear of repercussions. not even if you blew up mondstadt, he wants to say, but he doesn’t know if she’d find that as funny as he would. he’s been inflicted with albert’s presence more recently, so irritation towards the city’s authorities is somewhat forefront in his mind.  “  and you can always come to me about anything.  ”  he should speak to one of the younger knights, sucrose or amber or the traveler perhaps, about acting as a chaperone for klee when he’s on dragonspine  —  he knows jean isn’t fond of letting the spark knight out of mondstadt without more experienced company, and truthfully he’d not want his little sister on such a treacherous mountain alone anyway.

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devolusion​:

“You’re a good person, but I’m a bad girl…”

“  who told you that ?  ”  his tone is measured, carefully gentle — he doesn’t want to upset her — but inside, albedo is seething. how dare someone plant such a thought in klee’s head.  “  that’s not true. you’re a wonderful girl, klee,  ”  he says, crouching beside her to pull her into a hug,  “  and the best little sister i could ever have.  ”

[tyvt]

albedo vc every day i become more tempted to pull a pied piper on the children of mondstadt and hide them in a pretty cave where nothing can ever hurt them.