typewriter-in-the-dark

[typewriter-in-the-dark]

content warning: contains topics of self harm

the metal on your fingertips, you feel the sharpness, know what it can do

first it stings

you see nothing

slowly, red pushes its way past skin

after a while you grow to love that pain

you feel the euphoria, then the world gets quiet

you can breathe

and you’re free

red runs down, stains your shirt, your hands, the bathroom sink

blood on white tile

you can’t decide if it’s horrifying or satisfying

you know why people do this

you’re in control

everything is quiet

water runs, red rushes down the drain

tissues to soak up what’s left

it dries quickly

you clean up, you leave, back to where your mind is trapped

then the guilt comes rushing in, it burns

you did it again

why did you do it again?

why can’t you stop?

it burns

fire meets with thoughts

you’re getting sick, laying down, everything is rushing over you

you hate the pain now

want it to go away yet still cling to it

but it’s not in your hands anymore, you’ve lost control and all you can do is watch as it all comes back, multiplied by thousands

yet you’ll return

to those moments of having control even if it’s just seconds because there is nothing else you can do

by typewriter-in-the-dark

[typewriter-in-the-dark]

In that moment he knew, that boy carried the universe inside of him. His eyes were filled with stars and his lips were made of secrets and honey.

by typewriter-in-the-dark

[typewriter-in-the-dark]

I always wondered what love feels like

It’s a Sunday morning with the smell of fresh coffee in the air and sun rays on the sheets

It’s a late night with french music and wine

It’s a field of flowers with flowing dresses and blooming crowns

It’s a bath in the ocean with naked skin and salty lips

It’s rain and it’s snow and it’s hail

It’s night and it’s day

It’s the sun and it’s the moon

It is everything we know and feel

It surrounds us and we thrive in it

We breathe it, we eat it, we drink it

We are love and love is us

by typte-writer-in-the-dark

[typewriter-in-the-dark]

for how long?

forever

I will love you forever and ever

I will love you as long as my heart is beating and my lungs are filled with air

I will love you as long as the earth is spinning and the sun rises and moon sets

I will love you as long as my feet strike this earth, soil between my toes, as long as the rain runs down my skin and the snow sets in my hair

I will love you as long as the tides come and go, as long as the ocean meets the shore, as longs as the wind blows over the lands and lightning hits the ground

I will love you until my body gives up, until my heart stops beating and I stop breathing

You will be my last thought as you were my first

And when I drift away into far lands, you will be the only thing I see

Because since I’ve met you, you are everything

by typewriter-in-the-dark

[typewriter-in-the-dark]

as for our minds are freed in the colors of midnight through the shards of broken glass a portal into another dimension where the air tastes like rain and forbidden thoughts

by typewriter in the dark

[typewriter-in-the-dark]

we were like Achilles and Patroclus  destined to be together willing to risk our lives for one another  madly and stupidly in love like young fools we danced on the beach  screaming at the sea

we could conquer the world and defy fate believing that we were the only creatures in the universe the only hearts beating, the only minds thinking

our souls were one our love burned like wildfire leaving a scorched trail behind us  for we did not care about anything but ourselves 

by typewriter in the dark

[typewriter-in-the-dark]

and when the centuries pass long after I have left this earth promise me, you will not forget  the years we spent together the hours our souls were vulnerable when our minds were free promise me, you will allow  my memory  to wander around  in the depths of your mind

by typewriter in the dark 

[typewriter-in-the-dark]

the night when the moon stood high  and the wolfs howled with pride we were gods we ruled the world we feasted on ambrosium and raw meat we conquered each other’s mind we set fire to the sphere we were filled with euphoria and ecstasy  falling prey to insanity

the night made us immortal and we ran and ran and ran high on the drug that is power addicted to our pride oblivious to the fall that was upon us  we stumbled through the darkness and we fell and fell and fell into the blinding light of the rising sun while we died in each other’s arms

by typewriter in the dark

[typewriter-in-the-dark]

he was crying and wailing begging her to stay pleading beseeching imploring her to spent just one more moment of her endless life with him giving him the feeling to matter more than all the others she had been with flaming tears ran down his face leaving abyssal scars as she turned away not looking back once

he collapsed onto the ground he was alone again and the only thing he had left was the silvery touch of his friend's hand resting on his shoulder freezing into his flesh spreading the ice-cold feeling of lonliness inside his body

and as he lost his consciousness the last bit of her warmth faded leaving nothing but a distant memory and the narrow hope that she would return

by typewriter in the dark

[typewriter-in-the-dark]

the deadly infection that are Your thoughts shared through the cursed words You dare to speak  they slowly fill my veins as i’m hypnotized  by Your mesmerizing touch

on my lips, still a scar of the venomous kiss You gave me  a taste of the poison running in Your blood the drug my heart got addicted to  as soon as it reached it’s core

You put my soul in a prison  drugged my heart and sedated my mind until I fell for Your manipulation 

by typewriter in the dark