twelveahead - Tumblr blog

[twelveahead]

12 years of my life I’ve had this debt. If you’ve read this blog before, you’ve probably seen me babble on about it. I’ve struggled between letting it define big life decisions, or just saying “fuck it, I’ll do this cool thing now, and put off paying debt longer.” 

I was 18 and had no idea what I was getting myself into. (Though I’m 30 now and don’t know what a Master Promissory Note is, sounds important.) Why the U.S. thinks it’s a good idea to keep putting kids in this position is beyond me (it’s getting worse: https://tinyurl.com/yympo69e), but it’s a burden I’ll bear no longer. 

Peace out, student debt. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, broken American college system! Yeah!

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That one time when it wasn't raining in Scotland. @mollykroy took this fun snap. (at Loch Lomond & The Trossachs National Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3WkwB0FKhasTrPFn1fDngxXJoVawf4Uyi8xEk0/?igshid=1pvf8rtuxrxbz

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Mornin’ East Coast!

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Is this thing on?

Holy shit, It’s been years. Where have I been? Life didn’t stop after Taiwan. Just as Gandalf reassures Perry, “Oh the journey doesn’t end here.” He makes it clear the very next line he’s talking about death, and while Taiwan made me feel more alive than I ever had, going home does not equal dying in my mind. Home was fulfilling in different and very healthy ways. Not at all the comparison I’m drawing here.

It definitely slowed for awhile, though. The reverse culture shock was way heavier than the culture shock of moving to Taiwan. And I missed my life so much there. I’d have dreams that felt so real being back there. I’d wake up upset because I wasn’t in my bed in Taiwan. But with the help of my family, and GOOD friends back home, I moved on. I made up for lost time with extended family, visiting whenever I could. I got a sweet job with SAVAGE. 

I really regret not doing a full debrief of my time in Taiwan while it was fresh in my mind. But it’ll live on in my heart and my talking about it endlessly every day to my very patient friends who put up with it. I hope I’ll sack up to write about it some day.

For now, something else huge changed in my life. 

This one came into it. Maybe that Gandalf comparison could come back here. He’s talking about heaven to Perry there. And after my journey in Taiwan ended, this one began soon after, and I’ve been in heaven ever since. More on that later. And more on the fact that we moved to Belgium to follow, too. Talk soon. Bonsoir.

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Playing in a game that Evan Lepler is commentating--hot dog!

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2/20/16 - Airport Scene

I will never forget that face. It was the only thing that broke me out of my numbed state. With a final glance, our eyes connected one last time and told the story of three years. I walked out of sight, hung my head and broke down.

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Mulholland Drive as the sun sets on 1/23/17 https://youtu.be/nJgwSICbIBk

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Found

“Need someone to fly to Germany today. You in? Flight from Philly direct to Frankfurt at 7 PM.”

I was in the middle of a Reach to Teach interview when this message popped up on my phone. Usually, I have my phone away from my computer when I’m interviewing teachers, but it slipped my mind this time. I had just asked the interviewee a question and had to get her to repeat her answer. After the interview wrapped up, I called my new boss/old friend to ask if this was real.

This felt familiar somehow…

Who knew that nine years later, I’d be working for the older brother of this mysterious Dan? 

Todd started SAVAGE Ultimate out of his home in 2009. I still remember when he showed up to Chucktown Throwdown with our team’s infamous jerseys. Yeah, even the Broke Phi Broke Grundlebugs could afford these kits--Todd made sure to make these jerseys affordable for college kids. He told us a little about the company and said to talk to him about a job after I graduated. Well, I’ve graduated and Todd was serious. I was hard to find for a bit there--some people still think I lived in Thailand. But, with a new office in Richmond, Todd and SAVAGE were easy to find when I got back. One week into the job, I was getting sent to Frankfurt, Germany for the Quidditch World Cup.

But, is this real?

I weaved through six hours of traffic up to Philadelphia (much like we did in ‘07), bounded to my gate with four bags of jerseys in tow, and somehow made it to Frankfurt, where Anna, a rep from the IQA (International Quidditch Association) took me straight to the fields. 

Twenty teams (and many fans) from all over the world made the trek to compete at the sport’s highest level (in the muggle world). Australia and South Korea were the farthest-traveling teams. USA was a heavy favorite, and the talk of the tournament was whether anyone could even score on them this year. (Bulgaria wasn’t there and I suppose Krum retired.) So you can imagine how much people lost their shit when Australia beat them in the final with a snitch catch. It truly was a thriller.

Savannah, my SAVAGE partner in crime at the tournament, snapped this right after the refs called the snitch catch “GOOD!”

The whole tournament had a similar vibe to a frisbee tournament: games all day, friendly people everywhere, tight-knit community...

closing ceremonies

So...this is real. 

It all happened so fast. I watched my first Quidditch game. I traveled to Europe for the first time. I used a company card for SAVAGE, which 7 years ago was Todd and his oven, screen printing jerseys.

“Don’t be too hard to find.”

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Four Plates

I was gone for 2 years and 8 months. I didn't come home in that span. I've been back for about two months now. With my sister back on the East Coast for a quick visit, tonight was the first time in almost three years that the whole clan was under the same roof. My mom and I made dinner. I set the table. In that moment, I was finally home.

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Home and home again. We sent off a @twelveahead/twelvebehind with aplomb!

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Home is walking out of that gate to warm faces. Home is when the kind of friends who pick you at the airport are waiting to welcome you back. Home has been here for 32 months. Now home is in 28 hours.

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Last pickup. Victory lap. 我愛台灣. (at Taipei, Taiwan)

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This is it.

I have two full days left in Taiwan. I get to see family and be home for the first time in almost three years. In these past few days though, there's been a lot of sadness and longing.  

“It’s gonna be gone soon.”

I know I need to go home. But what I'm working through now is trying to find an answer to why I'd permanently leave such an incredible place and group of friends. For almost three years, this has been my home and these people have been my family. 

 "What do we do?" 

To cope with all of this, I'm going to try to put a positive spin on leaving by posting something about Taiwan for the next 40 days: something I learned, something I'll miss, etc. 

11th in Taiwan. 12-19 in Thailand. 20th in Taiwan. 21st - Stateside

 “Enjoy it."

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What am I gonna do without these pals?!

Another Barty birthday. Surprise. Salad. Scavenger hunt. @sbartenstein78 — Thanks for lending us your son. He will be dearly missed. :) shout out to @zhizuzhe for all the hard work and planning that went into this fun-filled night.

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Real Countdowns

It’s finally starting to hit me that I’m leaving. I have four days of work left: January 21. Nine days after that and my brudda from another mudda arrives. 

Then, a month until I leave: February 21. 

Then...

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He IS real

Working on Christmas is far from ideal. I'm sure it's not nearly as hard here as it is back in the States, where real cold weather and massive wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing Santas are around every corner. It's easy to feel desensitized here in a country that doesn't so much celebrate it. But even before I came to Taiwan and spent three straight Christmases here, I felt a little uninspired by the holiday. I still binge on Christmas music for 25 days, eat a bunch of Andes mints, and get a reminder from Linus and his blanket about what Christmas is all about. But I haven't felt the magic, haven't heard the ring of those bells, since I was a kid. I was probably around the age of my oldest student, Yumi. 

As I began to read “Twas the Night Before Christmas" (in picture book form) to my class of elementary school-aged students last Friday, I saw it in their eyes. Something I hadn’t seen or felt in years. It was far more than just imagination. Every student (except Yumi, who’d read the book), was on their stomachs with their chins resting on their propped-up hands. Story time is probably their favorite part of the class. I’d never seen them so engaged, though. I tried to linger and build suspense on every page because I was enjoying it so much. Their English is basic conversational, but the pictures and a pinch of my ACTING helped get the message across. They were already in awe, and this verse put it over the top:

“He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself! A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.”

We saw him! In that moment, we were all caught up in it. I couldn’t be with my family for the third straight Christmas, and there’s no replacing that gaping feeling. Still, this little slice of magic made my Christmas.