trivolution

[trivolution]

[trivolution]

Lao American, Child of an Immigrant

Hello–I’m half Lao, half White. My mom immigrated here from Laos in 1980, when she was around 8/9 years old.

Beauty Standards

A lot of Lao beauty standards are very Eurocentric (and thus colorist), due to the colonialism present at the time. Big eyes, pale skin, and small noses are desirable, all of which are not common to Lao. We have big, flat noses, light to dark brown skin (or mixed kids like me, who really good at tanning), and small eyes. The pale skin is the most harmful–things ranging from lighter makeup than natural to straight-up mild bleach in lotions or creams. 

Food

In my opinion, Lao food is the best stuff on the planet. A lot of SE Asian food is similar, but not the same. However, I’ve found that the Lao and Thai have the spice kicked up to an 11. My mom is an amazing cook, having learned from her parents. Some of my favorite things to eat are laab, sticky rice, grilled chicken, mango sticky rice, papaya salad (literally the SPICIEST THING I HAVE EVER EATEN. No joke), eggrolls, springrolls, and my grandma’s homemade beef jerky. 

One of the first things we’ll do, and I’ve found is true for most other Lao and Thai people I’ve met, is offer someone food if they’re over at our house. Hospitality, hospitality.

History

Laos is mainly a victim to geography and circumstance. Without an outlet to the sea, they’re pretty much cornered every time a conflict comes round. We’ve been colonized by the French, so recently that many of my grandpa’s formal papers are in French as well as Lao.

My personal family history is very interesting, too. Due to the political upheaval in Laos, caused by the Vietnam war and a load of other problems, my grandparents decided it was best to flee the country. All of their kids were born in Laos, and when they escaped, the youngest was two years old. They escaped in the night over the Mekong River into Thailand, risking death by drowning in the river, swollen by the Rainy Season, or being shot by both Lao and Thai border guards. They were in Thailand for several months, then sent to the Philippines, and after a year in refugee camps, finally arrived in California (where I was born). Because of how young they were when they left, my uncles and mom can’t read or write Lao, but they all speak it fluently. My grandparents lived there until this past year. 

Home/Family life/Friendships

Family is important in Laos, but also pretty loose. “Family” could be anyone. People who grew up in the same village, or maybe old time friends, could be considered family. In fact, for ten years I grew up thinking that I had an extra set of second cousins when we weren’t even related at all. One of my great ??? grandparents had 11 children. My grandpa comes from a patchwork family with several different mothers, having at least 10 children.  

Identity issues

Because of my Swedish last name, people know that I’m half white, half something else, but they usually can’t pin it down. I lived the first three years of my life in California, surrounded by my grandparents, uncles, and attended a Lao-speaking Christian church. When we moved to D.C., the Lao population was significantly lesser. There are lots of other ethnic groups here, making the diversity one of my favorite things about D.C., but very few Lao. Sometimes it feels like I’m not Asian enough to participate in spaces for PoC, like I’m intruding. But I also know that I’m not 100% white, and that being biracial makes me no less of either than the next.

Language

My parents both speak Lao, my mom because she was raised in it, and my dad because of his missionary work. He can read and write, and speak fairly well. None of us kids can speak, read, or write, but we can understand small bits and pieces and little phrases, but not enough for conversation.

Things I’d like to see less of

Biracial and Asian fetishism is definitely annoying.

In Asian circles, I’d like to see waaaaaay less colorism and antiblackness. Just because we’re also not white, doesn’t mean we get a free pass on racism toward other groups.

In Western media, I hate the white savior complex, “Smart Asian” stereotype, and blatant forms of racism (“ching chong” ring a bell?). Something more minor, but still annoying, is “can you say something in (insert language)?” because they’re usually wrong, and say Korean or Vietnamese (I’M NEITHER) and because that question is so painfully vague. I could call your mother a water buffalo, for all you know. 

Things I’d like to see more of

SE Asian representation in general. We tend to be sidelined, or ignored. I wish there were more SE Asian creators out here, for us to finally have our spotlight.

[trivolution]

Black Children

Let black boys be vulnerable.

Let black girls be soft.

Let black boys know they’re not limited to sports or Hip-Hop.

Let black girls know they can make it in sports or Hip-Hop.

Let black boys feel all emotions

Let black girls feel pride for the hair that crowns their head to their melanin that coats their skin.

Stop seeing black boys as threats,

Stop sexualizing black girls.

Let black boys be children.

Let black girls be children.

[trivolution]

To cap off pride month. Babadok is happy about the new flag.

[trivolution]

BOOKS WITH QUEER WOMEN OF COLOR PROTAGONIST

*This is a WIP. So if you see something incorrect please message me. Or if you want to add a book or comic message me with the title and ethnicity of the leading woman*

Books

Homecoming by Nell Stark ( Queer* Asian-American  )

Winds of Fortune by Radclyfe (African American Lesbian)

Blood Hunt by L.L Raand (African American Lesbian)

Punk Like Me and Punk and Zen by JD Glass (Latina Lesbian )

Blind Eye Mysteries by Diane Anderson-Minshall  and Jacob Anderson-Minshall (Japanese Lesbian(Has a visual disability)    and African American Lesbian)

Better Off Red: Vampire Sorority Sisters by Rebekah Weatherspoon(Latina Lesbian)

Blacker Than Blue: Vampire Sorority Sisters Book by Rebekah Weatherspoon(African American Lesbian)

The Fling by Rebekah Weatherspoon(African American/Russian Lesbian)

The Necessary Hunger by Nina Revoyr (Japanese -American Lesbian)

Southland by Nina Revoryr (Japanese-American Lesbian)

Car Pool by Karin Kallmaker (Asian American Lesbian)  

Choices by Skyy (Queer African American women )

Naughty Little Secrets by Mary Wilbon (African American Lesbian)

The Mimi Patterson/Gianna Maglione Mysteries by Penny Mickelbury (African American Lesbian)

Falling Star by Gill McKnight (Japanese Lesbian)

Santa Olivia by Jacqueline Carey (Queer Latinas )

If You Could Be Mine  by Sara Farizan  (Queer Iranian)

Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel by Sara Farizan (Queer Persian)

Treasure by Rebekah Weatherspoon (African American Lesbian)

At Her Feet by Rebekah Weatherspoon (Jamaican-Korean Lesbian and Mexican-American Lesbian)

She Slipped And Fell by Shonda (African American Lesbians)

Second Nature by Jae (Asian Lesbian)

The Gunfighter and the Gearhead by Cassandra Duffy (Korean Lesbian)

The Enterprise of Death by Jesse Bullington (African Lesbian)

Marriage of a Thousand Lies by SJ Sindu ( Sri Lankan Lesbian)

Falling Hard by Jae (African American Lesbian)

Flinging Itby G. Benson ( Queer Korean and  Indian Lesbian)

Heart Trouble by Jae (Persian Lesbian)

Who’d Have Thought by G. Benson(Queer Japanese, Queer Latina)

The Abyss Surrounds Us by Emily Skrutskie  ( Asian-American lesbian)

Manga’s (Unless otherwise stated all the protagonist are queer Japanese women/girls)

Revolutionary Girl Utena by Chiho Saito and Be-Papas (Indian Queer women)

Kannazuki no Miko

Octave

Kimi Koi Limit

Love Flag Girls

Gokujou Drops

Sweet Blue Flowers,

Shōjo Sect

Maria-sama ga Miteru

[trivolution]

Constance Wu photographed by Max Abadian for Fashion Magazine (2018)

[trivolution]

lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely

[trivolution]

downloaded.

[trivolution]

it took me my city

All on the hair, trying to see to end fury today

Kind of wrath my mother made me pay

Under roses, under stains

Collecting voices for her strained

Delay

Cackle decree, more for familial insanity

Collide in certain markets that hurt him as much as the living hurt me

That soon came to be, a malicious fantasy

Dance tall, ridden one

Fountain syringe serenity impinged

.Wrecker forge a suitable finger in hock 

Especially when you cast aside all the tombs underlying

And fidget enough to turn steering to blisters

Maybe that’s where the sooner kerning is expected

That sucker knew he was in for it

That muddy umbrella

Finally a furtive sheen

That stood against you

And made a learning person by me

Mischief is kind and sonnets

Mollify room, desks turn in your favor

Office reruns latex and sagging rallies

Ready to be soon

.Click, dunes 

.Click dunes

Soon your trinket that had you in sermon’s tongue cooling

clap clap, clearance

That rap rap, rear end

.Trick ,dunes

.Slick, tunes

There there, Moses clawed through steering wells

And had you sighing this minute

Fine, surfeit it

Freight soon above the line’s excitement

Conduct, conchords, airports, rare Porters

[trivolution]

have fun have every kind of fun, under the sun, the son of the holy Mother

just joining us today where we came to pass.

Really, just joined up with the cooing dollops.

Ready to take up the time. And guess what remains once the chosen is out of the way.

[trivolution]

But shout out the homies who makin' they money By runnin' the system and building they comp'ny That’s Eddie, that’s Randall, that’s J Lin, that’s Aziz That’s Margaret, Mindy, Constance, Lucy, ay! So if you got it, use it, move it, build it Or break it, lose it When you die will your legacy live Or will your money just rest in another man’s crib? Think All the sound & fury but you ain’t say nothin' Millions of hits, but you ain't change nothin' Millions of subs, but you ain’t gave nothin' Claim to be a leader but you ain’t lead nothin'

[trivolution]

My FB posts are a cry for help, don't you know :)

[trivolution]

I can stand to be more humorous

[trivolution]

Break from using big words and being offended time.

[trivolution]

word excess now

mayor Hodge, it comes to me in time of great horror that I, for whatever reason, made your faith a learning opportunity. 

Trying for the flag of most honest disposition. There lit the way, an exit wound, not stopping for a track. Not stopping for flight or dealing the section that nine tore out segments after segment for.

We clue into the morphing alignment. Then sought after the key that aimed off the cubed. Latex. That furtive and benches that soon attended to ween off coddle.

Maybe that’s all that only it all ended the season. Curt and fun is the loaded perch. That cost me a treat. Turn on the few gray light burning. Off and trying the death. Off and on, doing him is cross going. That following up. 

Dearth and mere onboarding. That seemed like real dorm executive. More playing for them to keep off. Maybe that turned into a steel deck track. Whenever you’re ready to pass off. Then when you on the second rail.

That is first, a sealed off drum. That feel is rotund where that is closed off. Where the trusting clocking in. There is a mortuary. Then he has a personal executive pore. Maybe that is a foundation for you. That is sending a second grit into my perch.

Maybe that is letting you foster every other program. That soon took off as a peer record. That is a young event turning. Must be a study crest. When you are doing learning off the friendly oar crick. That turned me into wayward fearing.

That sullen pierce knew me how to clog up the feed. Maybe that until, the seal it off. Maybe that stood up the kind. Must be for gutting the sedition. Maybe that is lucky to steer. Only for you to make you exit door busts.

Maybe that is culling off the soundtrack. Crash off, crash and get that ornament to pare down. When for that ordinary effigy. Maybe you let him up, and funded the stencil.

Hey, all that really maybe stodgy marked hall. Fake stare and doing that crusty ass glimmer. Maybe he heard, the spoon mark. Crazy and cool came across soon. He operated in each favorable song unit.

Came for the hot ear to know where that gun met. I’ll be settling the trip in every other way he heard. Maybe that is where he seconded the trepidation. MAybe that’s what came to him in the level. I needed him to put it off before it let out the still life trifle. That turned off every kind of leaning.

Maybe that is the soon and must be the green and gun metal do it for milk sun. Hey, that is dew on top the justice to be. He is all over the time that real fell off the temple. He carried me into the stare. It never on the time test. Mare is the wrong period. On top, sounding you to be the heard firmament.

Kind of the reason that held you down. Maybe that is the wrong creeping. Maybe that’s how we learned fighting. He could deal, every other search. Missing the kerning. Whenever the tell makes sense, I’ll tell you exactly what other sentiment is wrong, and what he let’s you in puffed up real is the bench. 

I’m ready on top of feel is green then your a follow up. That turned up every other sullen ability. Have you turned me off from the crop. Might every other dice turn you red as ice. Kill off the guess. That is all that made enough sense. He turned me light to do the fit. Hurting rendition.

That is young as burning hill. He sought for the collision’s effect. Whenever your roster is following you empty. Wooling to meal off the stop and soon that is all real is. Trust that my only cool pass has him definite.

Hair on end, that is the last trend that ever came up. Have you ever let you turn tables. Have you met up with the studied second cut up. Missing to be a lettuce leg. Heckle and maybe, that is all that mission’s are supposed to be looked after. 

I have you in the raising. Maybe it’s the hung up tons of runt. Maybe it’s where you want to be the grilling all about the strength. Maybe that is where you hand off and take the stained. Hunger is all the operating. Humming and training all that is still made him happen.

Deal off and cash out whenever you can. Gruel that studied into the segment. Have you tune out the steel funnel. Has it ever been the stunning kind of eater. That is the number that locked up. Since the fungus is real and real is the stock carriage. There is the hurt that made me a final excession. 

Cross courage is every kind of courage. Cross alleviation knows you took the time to impair houses and find the kinds that took in calibration for the hegemony. And when you falter, the world makes time to stink up your lesson. Train up, and feel that yes, it all protects a duck.

Inference to collect, inference is hard to fret. Inference is heresy, and heresy burned through the pockets you collect. Really, all that it turned out to be. Maybe, send down the passage you thought you would roll into a sullen deed. That turned into potion, I turned into a Nascar wheel. That rolling dogsitter had two pens alongside the register. That island is cursing our names, two lips, car game.

Eyeing the dog made sense in a precious room cradle. Your furniture never gave up, your furniture never gave up. They upended every towel, and every week a new candle got the treatment. Oil didn’t really hear what sound it took to take off. Grilled denim electric sterns. Grilled fungus and electric stern. 

My dog sent you every last burning cod. That stack of limits really ate up and followed you around. Helped you turn down the pipe that landed you here. And there, not down, not coring away student dorm rot. Maybe huddled up to tell, yet you never got up for inches at a time. 

Therein the divine rested off for the last elliptical stunt. And that is, how every other bucket felt like enough. It’s how I, raised up a facet of trumpet sound, to hurt the tether. Hurt the modest exemplar. And capture you whole. That tow. That cedar. Made all that tight wheels go around.

[trivolution]

VISION

I’m disappointed. Yes, I know.

Think of it this way: “I was going to be a VISION leader, yet my Onlyness demanded that I sacrifice something important so that I knew this other thing (intercampus, interfaith, podcast work) has exponentially more value.”

Don’t let this piece go. It is the thing that will keep your coals hot, Tri. It is the thing that will make sure you never look back in anger, or shock, or regret.

Get. It. Now.

Not a damn second to lose. Not a damn second dwelling on anything else, ever.

You have work to get moving forward. Not a second left to forget that.

[trivolution]

looking

at the Asians (Americans? idk) around, thinking - I could stop caring altogether, and focus on only myself. 

I mean, I’m already doing that. It’s in the service of crying about systems that make living a vacuum for me and too many others.

Asians is a curse word. Asians can curse out the birdshit in the world.