trashygeistinlove

[trashygeistinlove]

Wild Horses (Beetlejuice x Reader)

Title: Wild Horses

Summary: Lydia keeps summoning Beetlejuice away from (Y/n) right when they get to the good part. He wants to know why.

Warning: Hinted sexual content, body image issues

“Mmm babes, you smell delicious,” Beetlejuice started kissing behind (y/n)’s ear, smirking at the reaction he was getting from her. They were both on her bed, where they had been listening to music and talking, but now, Beetlejuice had other things in mind.

“Beej, the door’s open,” (Y/n) was trying to find an excuse to get him to stop. She wanted to go on, she really liked him, but insecurities had a tendency to get the best of her. Beetlejuice snapped his fingers and the door shut, the loud creaking of the hinges echoing down the hall.

“There, that’s taken care of,” He went back to kissing (Y/n)’s neck.

“Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!” He heard Lydia summon him. With a loud groan, he left (Y/n)’s side and appeared in the dining room, where Lydia, Barbara, and Adam were set around the table.

“What is so fucking important?!” He snapped.

“We need a fourth for cards. Matilda’s at work.” Beetlejuice stood there for a second, just staring at her. She swore she could see the red spreading across his ashy skin.

“YOU FUCKING SUMMONED ME TO PLAY CARDS?!” He exploded, and the Maitlands could practically see smoke coming out of his ears.

“Yes I did. Now come sit,” Lydia was calm, used to Beetlejuice’s tantrums. She had even set up a little corner in a couple of the rooms for him to throw tantrums in. Matilda had even made signs for them during craft night at the library. Beetlejuice grumbled but took a seat across from Lydia.

“Five card stud? Texas Hold ‘Em? Stripping?” Beetlejuice wiggled his eyebrows.

“We’re playing Spades,” Barbara smiled at him, and Beetlejuice groaned.

“You pulled me away from a fucking sexy woman…to play Spades?”

“Yep. Adam’s dealer first,” Lydia gave Beetlejuice a shit-eating grin. Beetlejuice let out the most annoyed groan before picking up his cards to play the game.

****

That’s how things went over the next few weeks. Every time Beetlejuice started to get intimate, Matilda or Lydia would summon him away from (Y/n). It was really starting to annoy him, especially when he would go back to pick up where he left off and (Y/n) would be asleep or otherwise preoccupied.

Finally, after Lydia pulled him away to go have lunch with Matilda, he just about had enough.

“Why do you keep doing this shit to me Lyds?” He grumbled as the three sat in the parking lot of the Subway close to their house.

“Can’t I just spend time with my friend?” She sounded so innocent, but he knew there was something deeper behind her words.

“You never wanted to do that all the time until I got with (Y/n). So what’s up?” Matilda and Lydia looked at each other.

“Maybe we should tell him,” Matilda took a bite of her Miss Vickie’s.

“Okay, okay,” Lydia took a drink before turning to look at Beetlejuice. “(Y/n) hates the way her body looks. And she’s worried that you’ll find her repulsive.”

“...She does realize I’m a dead guy, right?” Beetlejuice looked at Lydia and Matilda like they had two heads. “I mean, she would legit be fucking a zombie pretty much.”

“Gross,” Matilda commented, making Beetlejuice roll his eyes.

“That’s it. I’ve got to fix this,” Beetlejuice had a look in his eye as ideas came pouring in. He knew what he needed to do.

****

“I’m home!” (Y/n) called out, carrying groceries in. “Hello?” The house was eerily silent. (Y/n) looked at the fridge and saw a note from Lydia.

‘Date night with Matilda. Be back late. -Lydia’

“Hmmm, okay,” She worked on putting groceries away. “Beej, you home?” She called out but didn’t hear him. She sighed and grabbed the drink she had bought herself and headed up the stairs to her room to read and relax.

Upon approaching her door, she could hear what sounded to be the Rolling Stones playing. Pushing open the door, she saw Beetlejuice sitting on her bed, guitar in hand, with dead flowers surrounding him. He was singing, but it sounded more like Mick Jagger than him.

“Wild horses. Couldn't drag me away. Wild, wild horses. Couldn't drag me away,” Beetlejuice sang to (Y/n). She sat her drink on her desk and walked towards him. He stopped playing when she saw by him.

“What’s all this about?” She picked up one of the dying daises and slipped it on top of her ear.

“I thought it’d be…romantic?” He couldn’t stop staring at her. “You’re beautiful.”

“Beej…”

“Nope. No arguing with me. I mean,” The guitar disappeared as he stood up. “I’m literally a dead guy. And you are the most beautiful breather I’ve ever seen.”

“Guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one,” (Y/n) was suddenly taken aback when Beetlejuice took her face in his hands.

“We’re not leaving this room until I prove to you that you are beautiful,” He got a wicked smile on his face. “And babe, I can go all night.”

[trashygeistinlove]

[trashygeistinlove]

[trashygeistinlove]

sorry for the shitpost but I really needed to get this out of my system 

referencing this infamous meme comic

[trashygeistinlove]

When you’re sitting feeling a bit shitty, and your mind turns to thoughts of the man you love to get you through. The instant comfort, the instant serotonin.

When that man is this fucking creature:

[trashygeistinlove]

Well, I got Halloween, the best Holiday, so uh, Fuck you.

@polyverse-fo-au Guess what lucky guy has an anniversary THIS month???? EAT ME YA FUCKS

[trashygeistinlove]

[trashygeistinlove]

man is barely coping

[trashygeistinlove]

Winona Ryder & Michael Keaton BTS

[trashygeistinlove]

🖤 ~ Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice... ~ 🤍 (soapcutecalifornia)

(Credit this post if you use these!) (kofi)

[trashygeistinlove]

NSFW Alphabet (Beetlejuice x Fem Reader)

So this is the first time I've ever done one of these, so just go easy on me please.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He's got to have a smoke after the act is done. Prefers it when your head is lying on his chest. You also wouldn't think he'd be a cuddler, but he surprises you every day.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He is a leg man. He's said and shown it a couple of times. He loves seeing you in short skirts. He's also been known to buy you the see-through leggings for when you're at home. (He enjoys all your parts but a good pair of legs really does it for him)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He will cum anywhere. On you, in you, down your throat. It doesn't matter as long as he gets to cum.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He gets off on the idea of shrinking you down and fucking you in the model graveyard.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Well, he's over 600 years old, so he's been around a time or two. He absolutely knows what he's doing, and loves learning new things that didn't exist when he was alive.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes it when you ride him. He gets to hold onto your thighs, watch your breasts, see your face. But he is also down for missionary when he wants to be in charge. But he's perfectly find just laying back and letting you do the work.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Sex is probably the only time he is serious. He wants to focus on the pleasure. Now afterward, it's like a dam opening up and he goes back to being a little shit.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Well just looking at him, he does not manscape, but you convince him to at least trim. It definitely does match the drapes, and he's damn proud of it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

When you two are together, he can be the most romantic man. He whispers sweet nothings to you when he's in that moment. You know you're in for some true lovemaking when he brings you roses. They might not always be alive, but it's the thought.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He most definitely jacks off, especially when you two are apart for a while. He might use your psychic connection to watch you. Think phone sex but with better reception.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He 100% has a daddy kink. He loves it the first time you slip up and call him daddy, and he just keeps it going. Also maybe a bit of a voyeur. He has spied on you a few times in the shower. Keeps him going until he can get his hands on you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Your bedroom, his desk in the call center, the model. Anywhere he can have you, he will.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

It does not take much to get him going. You could be reading to him and it turns him on. Everything about you does that to him. But the biggest thing is when you get angry. One time, you were cussing up a storm about your boss and your job and he could've came right there.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He doesn't really like to hurt you. If he accidentally does, it derails the entire thing.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

The man doesn't have to breathe, so he is great at giving. He literally could go down on you for hours if you would let him. And he's never going to turn down a blowjob from you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on the situation. If he has a job to do, it will be fast and rough, pinned against the wall, on the couch, wherever. But if he has the time, he will spend literal hours worshipping your body.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He is totally okay with a quickie. Any chance he gets to fuck you is a chance he's going to take. A little time with you is better than nothing.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Since he's constantly learning the newest trends over the past 600 years, he is definitely down to experiment. But sometimes an old classic goes a long way.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Without having to really rest, breathe, or eat, he can go as long as you can, and sometimes even longer. He can be quick when he needs to be.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He has a collection of like, medieval sex toys. He doesn't use them on you, mainly because you won't let him. But he loves watching you use your modern ones, and will even take over controlling them. And when you introduced him to the joys of Bluetooth vibrators, he thinks he's finally found heaven.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves to wait until you're busy with work, then use your psychic connection to tease you. You can feel his lips on your neck, or his fingers pinching your nipples. You can feel his hands all over you, even though he's nowhere in the room. And he will do that until you summon him.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's just loud enough for you to hear. Growls, deep moans, right in your ear. He'll call you baby girl, or another pet name, but only for you to hear.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He absolutely goes wild when you wear his suit jacket. Even if he drapes it over your shoulders when you're cold, he just can't resist you. To the point, you found lingerie in the black and white stripes. You have to keep buying it because he rips it off you to get to you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He has to sit like a whore because he is absolutely packing. He is thick and long, giving you the perfect stretch.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He has a lot of time to make up for. So his sex drive is super high.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn't need to sleep, but he will lay there quietly while you sleep. Sometimes he lets him at least pretend he's asleep, as long as he gets to lay by you.

[trashygeistinlove]

Beetlejuice x Fem Reader SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He is super affection, once you let him be. Holding hands, cuddling you from behind, other non pervy ways of showing his affection (though there are plenty of pervy ways too).

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He is like the ultimate wingman. If you aren't dating him, he's going to try to find you the best date possible. He has a checklist and your future partner has to check each box. One not checked? They get the scary face.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He loves cuddling you, especially during movies. He likes to squeeze behind you to cuddle when you're lying on the couch, which somehow ends up with you on the floor and finding a new way to cuddle with him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He's a little confused but he's got the spirit. Cooking is hard for him since he hasn't had to eat in years besides the bugs that he just eats raw. But he does remember some recipes from the old country that he can still get the ingredients for. As for cleaning, the man thinks spiderwebs are a year-round decore piece. Safe to say, you do most of the cleaning.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If he didn't really care about the relationship, he'd just send a note on Dante's Inferno stationary. But, if he really loves someone, really cares for them, he'll make up a big elaborate lie to try to save their feelings, even if it really hurts to do so.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I think it's pretty obvious Beej would be willing to get married if you even so much as looked at a wedding dress as you walked past a bridal shop.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

To everyone else, he's a diamond, he's a coconut. He's a diamond coconut. Pretty much closed off. But to you, he is the sweetest, softest guy you know.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He'll hug you all the time. Sometimes to show people that you're his, sometimes to remind himself that you're there with him, sometimes so he can tape a note to your back for you to find later. The possibilities are endless.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It would take him a minute to get up the courage. The last woman he said I love you to poisoned him and tried to eat his soul. But once he's sure that you're not a part of some soul-sucking death cult, he'll be saying it all the time.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Oh he gets super jealous. He knows you would never cheat on him, but he can't trust the other people who look your way. He knows you're drop-dead gorgeous, but they could direct their eyes elsewhere. And heaven forbid you have to go out with a guy, even if it's your brother. You're going to have a minijuice in your purse.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He has different kisses for different things. Forehead when he wants to let you know he's proud of you. Neck kisses to spark something up. Nose when you're being cute and you damn well know it. The list goes on in on. He won't ever admit it, but he has a ticklish spot right behind his ear that if you kiss it makes him giddy.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He doesn't have a lot of experience with children, outside of Lydia. Usually, if he sees a child in the afterlife, he knows that there is a very sad reason they are there. And he just doesn't need that baggage in his life.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He doesn't sleep, and he knows you are not a morning person. He'll usually make you too strong of coffee, and he has learned how to not burn things in the toaster.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Movie nights are frequent. He likes it the best when you make the popcorn because you always add extra butter the way he likes it. He really likes scary movie night, because you usually cuddle closer to him.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He's a pretty open book. There are a few things he's not big on discussing, like his ex-wife, and how he came to work for Juno before branching out on his own. He will eventually get to that. But in the meantime, you get some of the grossest details you wish he would keep to himself.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

You know that GIF of Hades catching on fire and then saying he's cool? That's literally Beej. He'll get mad easily, especially when things aren't going his way, but he also cools down quick. He rarely gets mad at you, except for the one time you accidentally put his suit jacket in with the color cycle. Not like he doesn't have magic to just bleach it or anything.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers small details that you don't even remember telling him. He has like a calendar for a brain with all the important dates. Who needs a smartphone when you have a Beetlejuice?

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment is the first time you told him you loved him. It wasn't forced, it was just you, telling him how much you cared for him. It was the moment he knew you'd be together in life and death.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He is super protective. If you have to walk anywhere alone, you're never alone. You've got a pocketjuice. He has instructed you to say his name three times at even the hint of danger, and even had you record it on your phone in the event you can't talk. Nothing is going to happen to his girl if he can avoid it.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He does try really hard. He hasn't had anyone to do this for, and he's always got Lydia whom he can pester until she agrees to help him.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Eating bugs is one of your biggest icks when it comes to him. You put up with a lot, but the bugs are where you cross the line. Especially when he tries to kiss you after.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He doesn't really care what he looks like. He thinks he's hot stuff. But he still melts when you call him your handsome boy.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Yes. Whenever he gets called away on a job, he feels like he leave a part of him behind. He just doesn't feel right being without you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He's a little insecure about his height, but he doesn't mind you calling him your short king, or asking him for help reaching something on a higher shelf. Makes him feel needed.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He does not like floral scents. Makes him think of old ladies that have come through the afterlife or old homes he's had jobs at. He makes sure that you don't have floral perfume. But fruit, he's ok with.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He doesn't really have to sleep, but he likes to lay in bed with you, cuddling you. It helps when it's hot out, or when your body is super achy. And he feels close to you.

[trashygeistinlove]

he bought super + for anyone wondering

[trashygeistinlove]

"I need you to help me save my daughter. But how do I know that you're going to keep your word?"

"I swear on my dead mother's soul- hey!"

[trashygeistinlove]

Now that's a cool angle.

Where do we think all of the watches are from??

[trashygeistinlove]

i hate him

help