tougher-than-a-textbook

[tougher-than-a-textbook]

I’m lucky to have an amazing space to work from, and I’m privileged to have enough money for nice things sometimes (even if I spend it too soon). I feel guilty for not working with a level of concentration and efficiency that the aesthetic I cultivate implies. Not sure how to handle this without dealing with topics of mental health and capitalism and gender.

[tougher-than-a-textbook]

A little clean study aesthetic to get me motivated🌑

[tougher-than-a-textbook]

one day I woke up and realised all the waiting and yearning was actually me living my life and it’s happening right now and it’s still good even if it’s not perfect and there is no moment when all your dreams get fulfilled and everything makes sense. like… this is it. this is life. you’ll waste away your youth waiting for some imagined future if you don’t love life for what it is now and make the most of it

[tougher-than-a-textbook]

anxiety is so weird like why is my mental illness in my stomach

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*through gritted teeth* you are not a child taking a test with the purpose of getting the highest score, you are an adult trying new things and finding ways to enjoy your life, make mistakes, be a beginner, be mediocre, be where you need to be, be unlikeable, just. be.

[tougher-than-a-textbook]

december 8 2022

lofi beats have replaced my internal monologue

[tougher-than-a-textbook]

08.01.2023 • sunday

spent the day writing my reports. i was studying in my dorm but then my friend invited me to her place so we spent hours together baking, studying, talking and just chilling. it was very nice<3. she gave me my new year’s gift and i gave her hers!!

p.s. i’m really loving this doodling on the pics thing, can you tell?

[tougher-than-a-textbook]

day + night 🌷

winter break is over and i‘m still in denial (i want to curl up and watch modern family)

but i gotta prepare a presentation that takes more time than i thought

i‘m also trying really hard to take care of myself: sleep enough, eat actual meals, take breaks (so i don’t procrastinate in the end)

i’m so happy about my study space and the peace and quiet i have in this apartment

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'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned

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Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

[tougher-than-a-textbook]

02.01.23

Happy new year! Can't believe 2022 is already up omg. Such a weird year for me too because I've only got around 5 more months of school before exams and then I'll be going to university in September! It's gonna be a pretty big year for me so I'm ready for it to be a good one

[tougher-than-a-textbook]

back into my routine… looked for jobs and updated did some phd admin stuff after practicing some norwegian & french! i’m back at work tomorrow so it was nice to do a bit  more ~chill~ tasks today :)

listening to: peter heppner, gib mir doch’n grund

[tougher-than-a-textbook]

— 4.3.22 🌸

it’s been a long time everyone! right now my life is steadily falling apart and it feels as if i’m being held together by the most fragile of tendons but i will survive — so if you are suffering right now as well, you’re not alone

anyways, here are some pictures i’ve posted on my ig lately ♡

[tougher-than-a-textbook]

★Studio Ghibli + Dark Academia Aesthetic★

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"One of the most prevalent obstacles in our ability to heal and self-actualise is when our productivity is tied to our worthiness."

I think the studyblr community especially needs to hear this. You don't have to be productive all the time, you need rest. Recovering from internalised capitalism means unpicking all the messages from family, friends, school and workplace that have reinforced the idea that you are a commodity, and that your worth is based on what you do. Your worth is inherent.

Source: therapywithlee

[tougher-than-a-textbook]

4.11.21 | Yesterday was bad and awful, I got nothing done and was sad and angry all day. Today has been nice and productive, I’m getting through my to-do list with minimal procrastination, and might even have time to relax once I’m done.

The only conclusion I will draw from this is that sometimes things are shitty and sometimes they aren’t and I have literally no control over whether it’s one or the other.