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Captain 3 is the funniest Splatoon character actually

Be some kid on the street

You're 14

Get pressured into joining the army by an old man??

Start going by Agent 3. Which is not a name

Never speak a word (you're canonically too shy)

You just start blasting??

Save the world and liberate an entire race of people somehow???

The entire rest of the series can only happen because you did this

Almost kill the protagonist of Octo Expansion (she is in love with you now)

Turn 16

Become a DJ as a hobby??

Your DJ name is DJ Sango. Sango is just "number 3" in Japanese. Still not a real name

Start taking yourself really seriously

Start wearing a cape

Get knocked unconscious multiple times

Get mind controlled???

It's fine you got better

Turn 21. The old man quits and puts you in charge of the army???

You inherit his hobo outfit. Why are you actually wearing it

Start going by Captain (still not a name)

Still never speak (a girl speaks for you) (she's a famous singer and older than you, why are you making her do this)

Do one (1) cool thing and just sit on your ass the whole rest of the game

Say booyah once

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Not now kitten daddy's googling his symptoms

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did a series of rainbow kotlc drawings back in january & these were really the only ones i ended up liking 🙂‍↕️🤚

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Write it shitty, write it scared, write it without a clue but don't you be so spineless and have an AI write fanfic for you.

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my hottest take

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"we had ai-"

"i asked chat gpt-"

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bad end au

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Easter falling on 4/20 again this year means all those old 420 praise it vines from 2014 are once again relevant

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Shoutout to my dad who accidentally moved into an up and coming black lgbt neighborhood and was very disappointed to learn that all of his “new friends” weren’t actually interested in how to use iNaturalist or where he saw coyotes on his walks 😔🙏🏻

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I need attentionnnnn people not giving me attention im dying

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why does he never look at peace

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But... what about the demongirls then...

but we're both demongirls

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i love those "americans only know burger" posts cus its true we literally have a word for when something is insignificant or something without value and yeah. its "nothingburger". because whats more worthless than nothing burger....

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OK fuck EVERYONE im back on my shit again: I want to preface this with- I DONT EVEN REALLY LIKE HAZBIN HOTEL, WATCHED IT, ENJOYED IT, DONT SUPER CARE FOR IT LIKE I DO OTHER SHOWS- With that out of the way i don't see ANY other show get the widespread hate it does but that's not my point right now. I am STILL seeing 'Name () Characters that could beat Alastor' and then its like a bunch of characters and honestly this just bothers me because thats NOT the point of his character- yes he's strong in brute force and powerful with his shadow powers and whatnot but thats not what makes him scary- what makes him scary is how he's so good at manipulating people that is his power, while the question is also not something I've seen really asked fr it is a question to actually think about in the way of: Would they be tricked by him and then could they defeat him in battle. HIS FIGHTING IS NOT WHAT MAKES HIM SCARY- ITS HIS MANIPULATION AND LACK OF CARE FOR ANYTHING.

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me: (wearing a little princess dress and a fancy princess crown) you guys arent secretly plotting to kill me right ?

my loyal servants: umm.. noooo

servant one: (were totally gonna killer right)

servant two: (yeah duh come on man)

me: you guys are really cool. you know youre probably my best friends. im kinda lonely so i really like having you guys around

servant one: (well now i just feel bad)

servant two: (yeah maybe this is fucked up)

me: okay now you guys should make out with each other to make me happy

servant one: (nevermind lets kill her)

servant two: (well now. hold on. lets hear her out)

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