toast-mates-blog

[toast-mates-blog]

What is toast?

Many centuries ago, some brilliant man/woman/other came up with the idea to warm bread up. Not only warm it up, but put fire to it. When they shared their idea with the world, everyone laughed in their face. Only a few years before, sliced bread was invented. They thought this person was in over their head. But they were all wrong. All except, the mastermind behind toast.

After many attempts of setting the toast alight, under cooking the toast, burning the toast and using wrong objects to make toast, (bananas, lettuce, aubergine, ect.) the toast was perfected. They put 2 slices of bread on a spit roast and turned it regularly. When this person ate the toast, his first thought was “I feel so bad for the dinosaurs for never getting to try this”. 

So tonight when you make your late night snack of 2 slices of toast drowning in butter or have a healthy breakfast of avocado and eggs on toast, remember the struggles of not owning a toaster. Remember how lucky you are to experience toast unlike the dinosaurs. Remember how easy it is to not have to constantly turn a spit roast in hopes of not burning your toast (or you like your toast burnt we don’t judge anybody here). 

I swear this is 100% facts. Would not be lying here. A toast enthusiast indeed. Don’t question my facts or methods.