to-dream-a-dream

[to-dream-a-dream]

11/21/2022 Dream #2

    I’m on a ship but I don’t think I’m me, at least not right now.  I can’t see myself but I know I’m allot shorter, and have cropped blue hair and a fondness for making electronics and bombs.The boat is giant, a Noah’s arc of what remains of an old city and is sailing away in turbulent waters as I watch from a guardrail, having placed some of my favorite belongings in a little tugboat I worked on with plans to leave on my own. My father, a man I do not know but somehow do at the same time, tall and giant, watches the sea with me and warns me to not spread myself too thin and leave so much of myself in an easily washed away tugboat.

    I ignore him even though I’m far too young to know better and try to get onto the boat as something slams through the water destroying it. It’s a giant worm, larger than the ship and threatening to devour us. My father comforts me a moment over the loss of my tugboat before hurrying to try and get the ship to safety. I’m small, but I try to beat him to the helm, to try and do so myself as we weave and and thread our way past the worm as it narrowly misses us time after time. I fall into the water at some point and see it coming to eat me, my father is there. I get out. He doesn't.

    When I wake up again, I'm not me, but I am me. The writer of this blog this time with brown hair and crooked glasses. But I’m still on the ship, I believe years have passed since the worm as the ship has expanded to a full city with high classes and lower classes with me falling somewhere in the middle. My father from before is no longer the leader here, now it’s a man with one eye who I know to fear.

    There’s a resistance brewing under the surface against him, I know who I am this time. I want to do something. In my dreams I’m always far more of a trouble maker than I could ever be. But somehow here I still stumble into it. Crashing into a room I wasn’t meant to see. With a young woman with long blue hair tied up into braids with tired eyes.

    I know I’m screwed when I hear an alarm go off, so I rush away as fast as I can. At some point I meet my grandmother. My real grandmother from my mother’s side. I can understand her here more than I ever can in real life. She’s mischievous, and stays behind, safe in proving the old woman act so I can run.

    Run I do, having to leave her behind as I try to escape to the upper decks. I meet my other grandmother, from my father’s side. She’s kind, and offers me something to eat despite my attempts to escape as I’m in the upper classes now. Why would they chase me here? But I still have to run away in the end, but she grabs my hand. I see her 50, 60 years younger than she is, and she tells me to be brave when she is no longer with me. I know it’s a dream now. I’m scared of what I will find when I wake up.     But I still run, and slide into a gift shop singing the new captain’s praises. It makes me angry in a way I can’t even begin to describe. I have two cans of spray paint, one in black and one in silver, and I begin to destroy everything I can in words I can’t remember as they constantly overlap with each other.

    I’m chased again, this time with guns. I feel bullets shoot by but never hit me as I rush to the lower decks again, and to the very slums of the ship. Spraying my graffiti wherever I can.

    It’s down there that I’m cornered. They’re not human, I don’t know what they are as their giant shadows practically suffocate me.. I can’t run anymore.     A fox with now back legs wearing a bamboo hat with intricate markings on it’s body comes to my aid. And pays dearly for it as an axe is slammed into it’s neck. It still fights however as others come to help it and help me escape.

    Even before we reach safety, I know the fox is dead and I blame myself. I get the feeling those who saved me feel the same as I am not the savior they wanted.     I wake up to my grandmother calling my name to get out of bed.

[to-dream-a-dream]

I’ve always had weirdly vivid dreams for years that I’ve used as inspiration for art or my writings and the like and I decided screw it I’ve always wanted to document this stuff so here we are

[to-dream-a-dream]

11/19/2022 Dream #1

I live in a place without forests, but I start here in one with the leaves orange and reddish though I can’t really see them all that well given how dark it is. Yet somehow I still know. Like someone is shining a flashlight from behind me. I don’t know when but suddenly I’m in a parking lot and entering a school. This school was not meant for me, it’s far to 90s to be something I personally know, but more than that the people here are not people. They’re monsters, creatures, or faces that I don’t quite recognize as human, but still talk to and joke with as if they’re old friends.

There’s something wrong at the school, something large crashes through a window shattering glass across me. I don’t turn around to see what it is. I know it’s coming for me so I bolt from my seat in a crowded cafeteria and run as fast as I can out of the school.

I’m in a shopping mall, finally there’s other actual people around me. But I still see them as monsters as a man comes from behind me and threatens me. Grabbing me from my waist as I elbow him and I try to escape him. He’s not the monster from the school, but he scares me far more as I hurry back to the safety of the forest.

This isn’t my world, I realize. This is a dream of a world that doesn’t want to let me go isn’t it? So I try to work within the confines of the dream. I will be something not quite human. I grab a branch and get on it, I’ve flown many times in dreams but this is the first time I can remember riding on a broom. Rushing through the dark autumn forest and eventually above suburbs as suddenly someone is on the broom with me.

I can’t see her but I know that it’s an older woman. Someone who’s done this before. I wake up to my grandmother turning on the heater.