Text
25K notes
·
View notes
Text
Me: Yes sir I understand that the office door cannot be closed when two colleagues of opposite gender are alone together due to sexual misconduct concerns but as an openly bisexual employee I have to ask if leaving two colleagues of the same gender entirely unsupervised isn't a double standard
Me: Like. I feel I should also have my ass covered if a same-gender colleague accuses me of shit, you know
Bossman: Nahhhhhhh it's good
The morally grey cathedral goblin that lives on my shoulder and judges the value of my kneejerk impulses: If you grabbed his ass right now he would learn such an important lesson forever but we don't roll like that bro
Me: (out loud) Okay
27K notes
·
View notes
Text
just for the record i would have played wolves with you
47K notes
·
View notes
Text
Thanks for the advice, Mr FB of I! That's the same thing my very good friend the Nigerian prince told me, too, so our MUST be true!
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
a few columbo holding dog moments i’m obsessed with
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
special defense
does this count as anything ???is this art
73K notes
·
View notes
Text
special defense
does this count as anything ???is this art
73K notes
·
View notes
Photo
65K notes
·
View notes
Text
i know that “EW” is the actual acronym used for “extinct in the wild” but it’s really funny to imagine that this thumbnail is shaming this poor tiger
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
67K notes
·
View notes