tiredopossumm

[tiredopossumm]

Years ago I remember reading an article with historians trying to figure out what the heck kind of disease would put Tiny Tim in a leg brace and eventually kill him but could magically be cured with a giant bag of money.

Rickets. The answer was rickets. This kid was dying of vitamin d deficiency he literally just needed some cod liver oil shoved down his gullet and a trip to the beach it makes me so mad

[tiredopossumm]

No no you misheard me, I don't have a circadian rhythm. I have a cicadian rhythm. I wake up at night and start screaming as loud as I can

[tiredopossumm]

For the purposes of this poll, do NOT count the following:

Your own birth (unless there were complications/urgent concerns)

Routine check-ups or scheduled-in-advance appointments that just happened to be at a hospital

Visiting or accompanying someone else to the hospital

Use your discretion as to whether to count visits to urgent care.

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[tiredopossumm]

[tiredopossumm]

[tiredopossumm]

they call me the problem ignorer for reasons that i know but dont feel like addressing right now

[tiredopossumm]

I Saw a Truly Wonderful Dog Today

…While my phone was in the car, and I am SO MAD, but please enjoy this description:

I take my own dogbeast, Charleston Chew, to puppy daycare at least once a week to get him some cardio and work on his social skills, and today after taking him in I saw the most.

Bewildering Animal.

This dog’s name is “Howdy” (presumably because it’d be rude to name a dog ‘Doody’) and he’s a German Shepherd/Greyhound X Bloodhound mix 

Please take a minute to imagine this creature.

His body is fairly normal- A smooth but thick red coat with a small, mottled black saddle.  He has a sock on his hind left foot (I think it was left.  he is eight months old and very wiggly) that makes it look like a jovial frat boy just rolled out of bed after a night of revelry.

His skin bags slightly at his armpits and under his belly but not in dramatic fashion, until the cheerful gentleman that keeps him said 

“Watch this!“ 

and lovingly grabbed the skin over his shoulders and hips-

-And lifts enough skin to cover Howdy’s Body again over him while all four of his feet remain planted upon the floor, tail wagging with glee.

He weighs, I estimate, about 70lbs and his bulky-boned, with a long, sturdy tail and a trim body under the onsie-like skin.

The Head though

Oh Dear.

Howdy’s head has a somewhat lupine profile- the combination of breeds leads to a long but sturdy snout, and not too much overhang of his lips.

He slobbers an entirely tolerable amount.

His eyes are large like a greyhound, bright golden brown like a shepherd and his eyelids work correctly, much to his human’s and the vet’s relief.  The wide bright eyes lend him a wild-eyed, moderately panicked look.

The skin bags too, at the top of his head  and the rolls covered in velvety fur make for a constantly furrowed brow of worry and give him the overall expression remineistient of an edvard munch character.

Then There Are The Ears

His ears are the size and shape of a bloodhound's 

but due to the mix 

They 

Stick 

All 

The 

Way

UP 

They are somewhat tubular, curled inward and much longer than wide and almost the size of his head again. they swivel independently of eachother, like  the eyes of a chameleon.

 "We think he makes that face because he can listen in on russian sattelites.”

I confess.  

I guffawed upon seeing him 

 "OOOOOOHHHH NOOOOOO I’M SO SORRY HE’S BEAUTIFUL BUT HIS EARS-“ 

“That’s alright ma'am.  God put him on this earth to bring people joy.  And he sure does.”

Bless this Bewildered and Bewildering creature.

If you’ve enjoyed my writing please consider donating to my Ko-Fi or Paypal, or pre-ordering my book of weird and interesting tales on Patreon, and receive exculsive stories!

[tiredopossumm]

a Very Important Purchase

[tiredopossumm]

my favorite genre of fictional character is like "i am terrifying to almost everyone, i'm very good at killing, i can endure anything, i've become exceptionally good at playing into my reputation, and if you try to give me positive social interaction i will react with confusion and cower in a corner like an abused animal. and i may try to shoot you. but there is also a chance i may imprint on you like a feral dog receiving its first loving touch! good luck."

[tiredopossumm]

Let Chein Pao out of time out, they said. He's a good kitty-weasel, they said.

[tiredopossumm]

this is a drawing about how i love my cat

[tiredopossumm]

“do you know where you’ll be headed in 5 years?” no. but i do know about themes and motifs. and friendship. and putting garlic on everything

[tiredopossumm]

do you ever form close relationships with people in your dreams and then feel a little sad when you wake up

[tiredopossumm]

gonna jerk off in a very melancholic way tonight

[tiredopossumm]

not naming names but i hate this character design trope

[tiredopossumm]

Polycule but it’s just two people in a romantic relationship with each other and their third who’s pretty obviously aroace but also somehow so deeply intertwined in their lives that it’d just be wrong to not count them as involved. Is this anything.

[tiredopossumm]

Lol who invited johnny bigears