tinygoblinjewel

[tinygoblinjewel]

maybe its maybelline. maybe its goblin magic. those are the only two options

[tinygoblinjewel]

|| OOC ||

Me: Brings a blog back Me, a week later: Fries my fucking hard drive.

[tinygoblinjewel]

[tinygoblinjewel]

THE ADVENTURE ZONE SENTENCE MEME

Part 1 - Here There Be Gerblins

Possible Spoilers, change pronouns, etc as needed

“ Do it or I walk.”

“Abracafuckyou!”

“I live like I’m dying.”

“I stole a bunch of gold!”

“It wasn’t even a thing for me.”

“No, I’m dumb, but I’m super willful.”

“Let’s turn this bugbear into a hugbear.”

“Listen, all the asses have been kicked.”

“Listen, ___ is about action, not planning.”

“Do their drowned bodies look kinda cool?”

“Guys, I just realized, I left my keys in ___.”

“I’m so proud of them…I’m going to die now.”

“I’m still chilling out here, if anyone’s curious.”

“ I will very flirtatiously hit it with my warhammer.”

“You know, in retrospect, I regret helping that kid.”

“Oh! I forgot, I promised you guys so much money.”

“That’s the worst sentence I’ve ever heard you say.”

“ I got too horny from the killing, and I-I’m jerking off.”

“Don’t test me. Do not test me. I had a real long day.”

“ I’m just saying guys, maybe there’s a peaceful option”

“I have had a fantastic time too. I did have to murder my employees.”

“ And as I do it, I raise my shield to protect my face. It’s my moneymaker.”

“I stand up to my full wizarding height, which is two feet taller with the hat.”

“I’m having a really great time and I think we’re becoming closer as friends!”

“ My name is ___ and I’m ready to kick some goblin ass! Where did they go?”

“I do have a last name but it’s a secret that will only be revealed later in the adventure.”

“I wanna make a perception check to see if the concept of ground meat would occur to me.”

“ I would actually heartily recommend you turn around, this is not a great place for tourism.”

“A lot of shit happened. And it was all really terrible, and if you gave me the option , I would not do it again.”

“It’s a record of my life’s work so far, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Elves, and I carry it around with me.”

“Tell me about- no, come on, now that we’re into this, tell me about your dad. Is that what you wanna do right now?”

“I thought you guys were like big brave heroes, and you’re just like, it’s like a child getting a booster shot over here.”

“I’m not gonna, like, pull any punches, because frankly I think it’s more entertaining when bad things happen to you.”

“Guys, did you hear that? Did you hear from the hills? There’s an army supporting us! I think we’re gonna win this thing!”

“You’re gonna- just gonna try and like, whip the chain around one of its legs as you run by and just sort of pull real hard?”

“So here’s my solution, and I think you’re gonna find it very equitable: I’m not gonna shoot you with this giant crossbow.”

“What did I tell you? I told you guys to stay put! Don’t- I don’t understand why you keep being so difficult. I don’t understand why any of you are here!”

“Oh nooo! The mystery is solved! You’ve solved my final riddle, you are the riddle master. Congratulations, you have proven yourselves quite the adventurers.”

[tinygoblinjewel]

unquxxn:

Scuttling upon stone brings the Queen’s drifting to a halt. Shrewd eyes gleam down  an angular nose at the ickle thing, frigid expression melting into a kindly smile. The  peon was courteous in the face of a more powerful fae. Clever thing.

“ I hardly think your Kingsie will extend so warm a welcome,” the Queen sniffs,  “but it is good to know that not all of your ilk has forgotten their manners.”

Once, the goblins had been the Queen’s creations. Now the darling little tricksters acted  as mere pawns in a Changeling King’s pathetic maze-games. The little half-breed Jareth  had snatched up what pathetic corner of the fairy realm that he could – a twisting  city-maze of brick & stone – & taken a portion of the Queen’s court with him. Brat.

His empire was unimpressive. Puny, compared to the forces the Queen still commanded…  but the goblins’ loyalty to him was unquestionable. They adored their spoiled brat of a  King for reasons the elder fae could not comprehend. 

     “ H E L P ?   Do you oftenhelp unwanted visitors through the Labyrinth?                   My my, what would Kingsie say?”

    It took all of Jewel’s concentration not to squeak or stutter as she spoke to     the Monarch. Wobbling slightly as she still stood on two hind legs she kept     her nervous energy at bay by gentle swaying her arms to stay balanced.     “This littlies goblin has the best manners.” It was true, partly at least--she     was well mannered compared to the vast majority of her compatriots but she     was still a goblin with all the short-sighted impulses that came along with     her species.

    “Kingsie has his ruleses, ifsies the runners gets no help the games not very fun.”     Jewel’s job was being a helper goblin--In that she offered help, not that most     humans could use the directions she gave as her paths tended to taper off into     goblin sized tunnels but only when the runner had already wasted precious time     getting halfway there.

    “But Je--” The little goblin abruptly stopped speaking to slap her tiny paws upon her     mouth, cutting off the name she’d almost said aloud. Without the steadying balance     of her outstretched front legs Jewel fell back onto her hindquarters with a small whine.     She didn’t bother righting herself this time, staying sitting but upright as she slowly     moved her paws and began to speak again.

    “This Littlies Goblin would never gives a Queenie goblins directions.”

[tinygoblinjewel]

|| OOC ||

OKAY! Tomorrow will be my first day off in like a week so I’ll be on then to reply and such! New job has been nice but also demanding but thankfully I have this weekend off so expect a little more activity.

[tinygoblinjewel]

Absentmindedly the Goblin King's hand reached out - leather clad fingers pressing to top of the creature's skull with a firm stroke. His eyes remained unfocused as he stared into nothing, lazily sprawled across his throne like a brooding child. "--perhaps the next visitor we have. . . I can simply send you to bite their nose and lead them down to the tunnels. An homage to a silly wonderland story, in a way. Wouldn't that be /fun/."

    Jewel practically preened at the attention from her Kingsie as she sat perched upon one arm of his throne. Truly, the best advantage to being such a small, dexterous goblin was that it allowed her to perch on the throne without getting in Kingsie’s way. Such a position was, therefore, a jealously guarded one and Jewel had gotten very good at defending it from the other goblins with bites and scratches.

    “Kingsie gots the best ideas!” She chirped happily, she wasn’t really sure what story Kingsie was talking about, though something vaguely familiar bounced about in her head as she considered the word, Wonderland. Without thinking too terribly long over why the thought popped into her head Jewel added, “Yous needs mushyrooms an’ rosies too.” 

[tinygoblinjewel]

[tinygoblinjewel]

disappointment starters

“I thought you of all people would be different.” “This was supposed to be a fun day. You always ruin everything.” “Our flight’s been cancelled… there goes our holiday.” “I’m not angry. I’m disappointed.” “I know you didn’t do it on purpose, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be disappointed.” “I can’t believe this. You always turn everything into such a disaster!” “I’m not disappointed in you, I’m disappointed in the situation…” “I can’t believe this is happening. Can nothing ever go right?!” “I’m so sorry to let you down. I know you were looking forward to this.” “You always let me down. You’re so unreliable.” “I’d expected a lot more from you.” “Stop being so selfish! You’re ruining everything for everyone.” “You’re such a disappointment to the family.” “I’m sorry to be such a disappointment. I know you expected more of me.” “That movie was so disappointing.” “Why is everything in life actually so disappointing? You get yourself excited every time, only to be let down, time and time again.” “You’re not disappointing! Just… surprising.” “I thought you cared about me. Someone who cares about someone else doesn’t let them down like you just did.” “You could’ve tried harder!” ”I’m not going to lie… I am disappointed.” “No no! You’re great, but the sex was just really disappointing.” “Honestly, you’re the biggest disappointment of my life.” “You weren’t there for me when I needed you. Why do you expect me to be here for you now you need me?” “I had higher expectations of this.” “I had higher expectations of you.”

[tinygoblinjewel]

                       ❝ Her heart was a secret garden                                                                                    and the walls were very high. ❞

                      sel. idie princes buttercup | movie & book based | written by sarah

[tinygoblinjewel]

|| OOC ||

Bring back one blog and suddenly you’re debating the logistics of bring back other ones.

[tinygoblinjewel]

|| Headcanon ||

There is a rather elaborate barter and trading system among the goblins of the Labyrinth. Food and tools are the most commonly found objects but more coveted are ‘treasures’ won from runners. Object not commonly found within the upsidedown are the most valuable. 

Most of the time goblins will gain these items through theft or bartering with the runners themselves. Any object a runner drops is free game in the labyrinth, where finders keepers is practically a cardinal rule. Goblins who choose to assist or mislead runners will barter information for goods. Jewelry is asked for most often simply because jewels and the like can always be guaranteed to hold value. More enterprising goblins might ask for paper, pens, make-up, and other things nearly impossible for a goblin to find within the Labyrinth.

[tinygoblinjewel]

Starter Call // @dxdger

    The pitter patter of tiny feet was not an unusual sound that accompanied Dodger     about the Labyrinth. In fact, the absence of them was an odd bordering on unusual     occurrence. Jewel had found herself a friend--one who didn’t just want to trick her     into giving up her shinies and she spent much of her time with him, when not with     her Kingsie of course.

    “SURPRISIES!”

    Thus Dodger suddenly receiving an armful of tiny goblin was much more in line with     the way things in the Labyrinth went about. Jewel was rather proud of her minor     acrobatics, she was no firey but her jumps were mostly consistent and this one, a     leap from the high walls of the labyrinth and onto Dodger’s shoulder, only went     slightly awry as she tumbled into his chest instead.

[tinygoblinjewel]

starter call // @unquxxn

    The little goblin quickly scrabbled into her best bow, a clumsy thing considering she     was only limitedly bipedal. “This littlies goblin welcomes The Queenie to The Goblin     Kingsie’s court,” There was a nervous titter to her cheerful tone, unsure of exactly     what the Monarch’s presence in her Kingsie’s land meant--Especially worrisome if     the Monarch hadn’t wanted to be found, Jewel knew that sometimes the Fae liked     to spy on each other, and worse still she knew what occasionally happened to the     unfortunate witnesses.

    “Can J--this littlies goblin helps The Queenie?”

[tinygoblinjewel]

|| Headcanon ||

    Jewel has only limited bipedalism, much like a raccoon. While she can comfortably stand when stationary, if she must walk it will be quite clumsily. That isn’t to say she doesn’t try anyway, she can often be found toddling around the Labyrinth on two limbs, her front paws holding precious stones and shiny junk.

[tinygoblinjewel]

                                         ❝ you remind me of the babe,                                                    a goblin babe. ❞                                                     written by sarah || art credit

[tinygoblinjewel]

|| OOC ||

Just finished tweaking my theme so my links are working again! I will get to starters tomorrow after work.