tigerteeff

[tigerteeff]

look, i really don’t think i’m poetic, and i’m pretty dense about that kind of thing anyway. and i’m pretty new here (“here” being a fan of the maine and a person who understands the reference to 8123 rather than a person who makes a confused face and figures it’s a joke she’s not in on) so maybe you’re not supposed to define it. maybe johno was right and the whole point is you can’t explain but you don’t have to. and i mean, most people call that love, right? you can’t really explain it, but you don’t really have to, because the people you love already feel it too. what he’s describing as 8123 is actually just love. maybe that’s the point. maybe they’re the same. maybe whenever you feel this elusive ~8123~ thing you’re supposed to think wow, this feels a lot like love. that you’re supposed to conflate the two. i guess that would make sense to me. i think i like that idea.

but we keep trying to define love anyway, in smaller and smaller increments. and i don’t know if anyone has tried to define 8123 since johno said it couldn’t be done. but here’s what it means to me:

when the maine reached the end of their festival set, they closed the show with another night on mars. and all i could think was how many times i had heard this song sitting alone in my dorm, alone in my bedroom, playing it alone in my car, listening in headphones, singing along at the top of my lungs but alone, alone, alone. i never would have known about it if not for my friends. i never would have found american candy, or 8123 fest, or the maine, if not for my friends. and i never would have met those friends if not for music. it’s a uniting force, a connection, a bridge, and yet i had spent most of my time listening to another night on mars alone.

and suddenly i was surrounded by people who loved music the way i love music, and people who loved me the way i love them. johno said this one goes out to my closest friends, the ones who make me feel less alien; i do not think i would be here if not for them, and it was actually true. i never would have found my way to phoenix, arizona if not for my friends. i can probably count on one hand the people i know in real life who really get it - who really love music the way i love music, or even understand the way i love music. and finally here i was, within arm’s reach of the people who make me feel less alien.

what’s another night on mars? johno said. with friends like ours, anywhere is home.

what’s another night on mars? what does it matter if we’re weird, if we’re crazy, if we love in strange ways, if we care about things that no one else cares about? what’s another night telling stories we wouldn’t tell anyone else, gossiping about things that don’t matter in the grand scheme or even in the smaller scheme, communicating in a vocabulary the general public couldn’t even begin to decipher? what’s another night as aliens, as long as we’re aliens together? with friends like ours, anywhere is home. 

music is so much better to love when there’s someone to love it with you. and you don’t always get someone like that. when i fall in love with a song, the first thing i want to do is share it with the people i love. i want someone to hear it and feel what i’m feeling. i want to put it on in the car and roll the windows down and play it at max volume so i can’t even hear myself screaming along, and i want to look over and see that the person in the passenger seat is feeling it too. that’s how it felt to be at that concert and sing along with the crowd and turn and look at my friends and see them all singing it, too. it felt like finding my way home. and as long as i have my fellow aliens on mars with me, i’m home. whether mars is maryland or texas or arizona or the interdimensional kitchen table.

so i don’t know. maybe that’s nothing. maybe i’m waxing poetic for no reason. but they played another night on mars and for the first time ever i got to put my arms around my friends and sing it straight to them, and i think - i think - that’s what 8123 is supposed to be. it is for me, anyway.

love you guys. @tirednotflirting​ @reveriesofawriter​ @pxrxmoore​

[tigerteeff]

so what have i done in the past 3 years? where am i now?

well i

got in a relationship

moved to reading

became an uncle

got engaged (sort of)

got another cat

set up a shrimp tank

broke up

moved back to my parents

left the other cat behind

have done a lot of therapy

decided to change career

started a college course

got told I don't meet the criteria for adhd

passed my cbt and got a scooter

had to pay for bim to have 4 teeth taken out

had my scooter stolen

have no money and more debt than ever

now have 3 jobs

fell in love with dan and phil again

booked to go to 8123 fest next month

am 30 in march

i guess that just about covers most things

[tigerteeff]

i came on here purely to vote on the phan v jedus poll

but god damn do i miss the tumblr community sometimes

[tigerteeff]

what if i just made a triumphant return to tumblr as a the maine blog

[tigerteeff]

Have you ever felt like you were right where you were supposed to be?

i saw everyone answering this n have been rly enjoying the responses but kinda sat here like damn im rly no longer part of the Gang i didn't get asked. because tumblr is an ass nd doesn't give me notifications for anything until i physically clicked on the tab and my little heart warmed that i too had been blessed w this question.

because YES, yes i have, and i do. and there's 2 sides to this. you can take it as that when good things happen to you it's the stars aligning and being in the right place at the right time. but also that you worked hard to get to where you are in life and That's why you are exactly where you need to be right now and you are neither moving too slow or too fast. everything is as it should be at all times. and both coexist to me.

i say this to people all the time when i feel it happening because it blows my mind. i absolutely believe things happen when they are supposed to and life gives you the opportunities you need to take and to learn things. that's not to say i leave my whole life up to chance. but the moments that are perfectly timed and perfectly necessary to your life trajectory feel so magical to me they remind me to keep going so it happens again and again. whether it be meeting the right people or taking the right job. i could give so many examples. even down to how when i adopted my cat, she originally was reserved by someone else until it fell through for Some reason and instead i got offered to take her. and she's been the most perfect addition to my life ever since and im so glad that person didn't take her. i had other adoption requests not work out before so like that kinda thing said to me yes you're in the right place now for this and this is the right cat. which was right.

i do struggle feeling like im out of my depth sometimes and that i wish i was smarter or found it easier to date or what-have-you. things that have you comparing yourself to the people around you. but when i think about the things that have happened in life and therefore will happen in the future that are gonna evolve me then i realise i have nothing to worry about and that im doing perfectly fine and things will somehow keep falling into place. because I've made wrong decisions but they always start out feeling like the right decision else i wouldn't choose them.

then again you are asking me this when I'm very happy w life and good things are going on. im v comfortable w how things have panned out this last year and I'm riding a wave of things being exactly how they should. even if i don't have everything i could possibly want, i still have opportunities to take and the right people in my life. and that's why im where im supposed to be.

[tigerteeff]

a man’s role in society is to look pretty and have fat honking tits

[tigerteeff]

source.

[tigerteeff]

nvm btw good time over as of yesterday we r now into sadboi hours until i get to the beach

i'm having a good time offline atm just wanted u all to know since idk i like to think some of u might miss me

[tigerteeff]

malewife

[tigerteeff]

[tigerteeff]

loud or quiet

in what context, anon

this has such a threatening aura, otherwise.

[tigerteeff]

michael and calum showing ashton's eagle tattoo is something that can be really special

[tigerteeff]

it's moments like this i regret my entire life being online thanks for exposing us em ilu

Friendship is when you get someone to look up the fantasy dildo so you have the image but so your computer isnt contaminated 

[tigerteeff]

@jackbarakat: We’re not gonna need tombstones cuz we’re gonna live forever

[tigerteeff]

You got me there but also. Lace thong

i'm too sweaty already for this conversation em pls he would look so pretty i would break down

[tigerteeff]

But heath what about Luke in a thong

but em what about luke's bare ass on my face

[tigerteeff]

today's gay brain-worm is luke hemmings' ass in a jock strap mmmmm yeah