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lets ge t fucking bibby

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Remember that "three items from the store to make the cashier most uncomfortable" meme? Apparently I accidentally found a winning combo tonight at the corner store, one of the usual clerks shot me a really weird look when I was checking out with these

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nineteen ants could change the world

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New superhero: Crime Man.

He stops crimes exclusively by comitting crimes. He out-crimes the criminals.

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The largest mass shooting in American history was a hate crime against gay people. Don’t ever forget that.

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ooh the sun sure is toasty today *looks at the label on my sunscreen i put on earlier* SPF -50??!!?!? *my skin begins to crack and singe like a dracula*

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coca cola just announced a new “dog blood” cola flavor

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Do you like penis colada?

*starts fucking shaking and going red*

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how much is too much

been searching my heart for an answer to this question and finally it cried out to me, "go hog wild"

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ken getting arrested alongside barbie after she punches the guy who smacks her ass presents so many possibilities

ken saw barbie punch the douchebag and was like “LET’S MAKE THIS A PARTY” and joined in on the smackdown

alternatively, the guy’s friends tried to jump in and ken wasn’t having ANY of that

ken saw barbie getting shoved into a big car with bright lights on the top and was like “OH BOY! can i come too?? 😊😊” and just kind of tagged along

alternatively, he realized what was going on and was like “EXCUSE ME OFFICER i too have committed A Crime so please show me to The Jail with my beautiful girlfriend” so they wouldn’t be separated

ken got in trouble for trying to help barbie escape but in his defense no one TOLD him resisting arrest is a crime because no one told him what being arrested or crime is

ken didn’t know who these men showing up to take his girlfriend away were, but he could see she was very upset and excuse?? you cannot take barbie away from ken without her permission??? so long story short, ken punched a cop

ken fully burned something down earlier and the cops were like “two birds one stone” when they came to get barbie

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phantom of the opera + twitter

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