thoughtfulnessme

[thoughtfulnessme]

22/06/2025

We have some major life updates.

So at the start of the year we decided we were going to sell our house and buy a new one.

We met with a real estate and decided we were going to list our house with them. We went to heaps of open homes.

Our house was sold after the first open home (in April), for a really good price and double what we purchased it for 6 years ago. We were so happy but also hadn't found a new place to move into.

Then suddenly, in May, a real estate agent who we had met at a previous listing called us and said he had an off market property we could come look at. It was in the area we wanted, had a media, office, pool, corner block and yard.

I still had my doubts but we put in an offer and it was accepted! From there, everything moved quite quickly and we were then waiting for settlement. We had only looked at the property briefly so i really didn't remember much of the place.

Finally, the day of settlement came around, 10th of June.

We went to place and it was amazing, there were things in the house that I didn't even realise we had.

It didn't hit me that the place was ours until I was walking down the hallway unpacking my stuff. I felt immense gratitude and just couldn't believe that this was our new house!! It is perfect and has everything we had ever wanted. Everything really worked out for us and the universe delivered.

We have a massive master, heat lamps, ducted air on, mirrored sliding doors, smart house where you control the lights from the ipad and the app, a quiet area surrounded by trees, big kitchen with a massive stove, 4 bedrooms. The house is amazing and every day I am so so happy and grateful that we get to live here and watch our children get older. Its close to a school and is only 5 minutes away from our old house. We are so blessed.

It was bittersweet leaving the house we made our first home, the home we got engaged and found out we were pregnant and the home we brought our first child home to and watched grew up before our eyes.

I thought I would be sadder about leaving our old home but the fact that I am so in love with this house definitely helped.

[thoughtfulnessme]

29/01/2025

All I really use this for now is to do yearly wraps up to help me remember the year I had.

2024 was my best year. I was so incredibly blessed to get to spend the whole year at home with my daughter who will be 2 in a month and a bit!! We spent the year having park dates, swimming, playgroups, babychino dates and just doing random things.

I got to watch her transform from a baby into this beautiful, vibrant, hilarious, kind, compassionate, determined little girl. The memories we made together in 2024 are ones I will cherish forever. She is the most special little soul and has really taught me to appreciate every single moment. So lets see what we did this year.

January - tried to get back on track after christmas

February - We took bubba on her first cruise for my brother's 21st!! My brother and family didn't know we were coming, we completely surprised them which was amazing. Bub also took her first steps on the cruise!!

March - Our daughters Berry First Birthday!! She turned 1 and we just couldn't believe we were now parents of a 1 year old. She also started walking.

April - My dad came down to Easter and bub had her first proper easter egg hunt! She loved running around collecting eggs. We also went away with my inlaws for the weekend and stayed at a waterfront cabin which was really nice

May- P turned 30!! I got him 30 presents to mark the occasion (one to open every day in May) and also surprised him with my brothers coming down and surprised him with a 3 bed apartment!!

June - Mum came down and spent time time with us

July - We decided we wanted to build a new house with coral homes. We even went so far as to sign a contract for land that was 450square metres!!! So we spend a lot of the next few months researching and looking at display homes.

August - We had a staycay with mum at the casino and P and I won over a thousand on roulette!! I took bub to the local show and she loved patting the animals

September - It was around this time we decided we didn't want to build - we realised it would be too expensive and we would only be on very small land.

It also started to warm up again in September so we went to the beach as a family for fathers day!!

October - We went to Fiji again!! This time we took some other family members and we had a great time. Also for my 29th birthday, my mum surprised me by coming down and rocking up at my front door at night time! I was shocked

November - Dad, my brother and step mum so we got to spend some fun time with them!

December - We took bub to my home town for Christmas! We had an amazing time spending Christmas and New Years with family. She loved swimming in the pool.

[thoughtfulnessme]

24/04/2023

It's been a hot minute since I've written anything but my baby girl's absolute perfection has me all in my feels. She is 14 months and everyday I am still in so much awe of her and in disbelief that she is actually all mine!! My daughter!!

Anyway...I have now been breastfeeding her for 14 months and it is still the most precious thing. I love it so much even thought she now signs "Milk" at me almost every hour of the day. We call them her crabby hands as she looks like a grab pinching the air. When I go into her room after 10 hours of not seeing her all night, the first thing she does when she sees me is sign milk.

Just now, I was feeding her to sleep for her midday nap. She was snuggled into me, her little body and little legs resting in my lap. Her face snuggled into me as she nursed and slowly drifted off to sleep. She had her right hand rested on my breast which she also uses to squeeze my skin to get more milk. And it just got me thinking about how these beautiful, precious moments I will remember forever but she will never remember these moments and it kind of broke my heart.

She won't remember snuggling into me as she feeds, she won't remember my milk slowly helping her drift off to sleep. She won't remember signing milk and then me picking her up and tucking me in close to me.

I cherish every day with her and find so much joy in every single day but she won't remember these things. Time is a thief.

Even though she won't remember, I know that she will know that she had the best babyhood. She was loved for every second. Her dad and I loved spending the evenings with her and watching her play. We loooved going for walks with her and especially loved when she would reach out to hold both of our hands. We loved when she learnt to give us kisses.

Breastfeeding her has been such a gift and it doesn't seem like she will be slowing down any time soon which is fine by me. I love holding her close to me in our nursing chair and watching her little face as she falls asleep.

I love feeding her and she looks up at me and smiles or giggles or stuffs her fingers into my mouth and thinks it is so funny.

Most of all, I love being her mum with all my heart and soul. Lately, I have been finding myself feeling so emotional when I look at her or think about her because I just love her so freaking much. This last year with her has been the best of my life. I was born to be her mother. She is the sweetest soul. Every day she amazes me with how clever she is. She recently started feeding her bunny and baby her food after I showed her one time. She loves reading her books and trying to figure out how things work like zips.

Lately she's been loving grabbing her onsies and walking them all around the house, playing peak-a-boo by putting it over her head, it keeps her busy for so long.

I just love her so much.

[thoughtfulnessme]

30/12/2023

So, it's been a hot minute since I posted anything.

Our baby girl is now nearly 10 months old, she is the most amazing little girl. She is so funny, silly, clever. She loves exploring her little world, she loves being outside and playing with trees and looking at birdies. She loves splashing in water and giving cuddles. She smiles all day and loves when we chase her around crawling. I cannot believe she is almost 10 months old and this year is almost over.

2023 - the year our baby was born & the year we became parties. It was the best, happiest but also hardest year of our lives. We overcome a lot but everyday is such a blessing with our beautiful little girl. I love watching her grow and develop every day. Let's do the yearly recap of 2023!!

January - I had my baby shower at my home surrounded by my closest family and friends, I had the best time!!

February - I started my mat leave and (im)patiently waited for my little girl to arrive.

March - Our girl arrived on 6th March after 38 hours of labour. It was so intense, traumatic and ended in an emergency c section but our girl was happy & healthy!!

The birth process effed me up pretty mentally. I suffered post natal depression and insomnia!

April - We had our babies first easter and my brothers, stepmum and dad met our daughter

May - celebrated my first mother's day with my mum and bubba

June - I finally got the hang of looking after my baby. Emotionally, I was feeling so much better and felt more like myself! Mum went home and it was just me and hubby looking after bubs. At the end of the month, my dad & brothers came to visit again.

July - Bubba started baby sensory and swimming and enjoyed both. It was so adorable seeing her get more confident each week and interact with other babies.

August - Bubba started solids! At first, she absolutely hated food.

September- celebrated our first fathers day as a family, bub started sitting up by herself.

October - my mum came back down for a visit, we celebrated my birthday altogether, bub started crawling and we had our first family holiday to Fiji which was amazing!!

November - my dad and step mum visited again and we had a great time.

December - Our baby's first christmas!! We spent it with my mum, brothers and my in laws. We had the best time spending time together, going to lunch, dinner and the beach.

We had the most amazing year!!! It will be sad to see this year go but I am excited to see what 2024 brings!!

[thoughtfulnessme]

23/02/2023

Our baby girls due date is in 1 week (7 days!!!)! I can’t believe I am 39 weeks pregnant and that our little princess could arrive any day.

This week has gone by pretty fast but I still sit around most of the day just hoping she will make her arrival and doing different things to try speed up the process!! I’ve been on some walks and spend a lot of time bouncing on my ball. I know she will come when she is ready and fully baked but I’m just so so excited to meet her!! I just want to hold her and look into her little eyes and see the feet and legs that have been kicking me for all these months.

I am so excited to experience labour and to experience that journey with her. I know we will work together to have the best experience together. I’m so excited to see her dad hold her and to watch him become a father. I know he is going to absolutely love and adore her. I hope she doesn’t make us wait too much longer!!!

This week has gone pretty quick surprisingly. I haven’t done all that much. I have been sleeping in a bit and I have a sore calf atm so its hard for me to walk. I’ve been watching shows. Hubby and I finished watching Breaking Bad and that was traumatic seeing one of my favourite characters die!!

I’m feeling good though.

[thoughtfulnessme]

7 February 2023

Today is my second official day of maternity leave!!

I still feel like it hasn’t fully hit me that I won’t be returning to work for more than a year.

It’s only 23 days until our baby girls due date!!

Yesterday I went into work in the morning to say goodbye and get my stuff & pick up some presents from everyone as I was unable to on Friday.

Then I relaxed for the rest of the day before going to the gym in the afternoon and walking 2km on the treadmill.

Today my plan is to tidy the house a little bit, organise the nursery a little bit so I can figure out what I still need to purchase.

[thoughtfulnessme]

30/12/2022 - The year it was.

Tomorrow is the last day of 2022 so I thought I would get in early and write about the year that is was! This year went really quick. It was a challenging year but also one of the best. My husband and I grew even closer to each other and continued to shower each other with love and respect. He truly is my best friend and love of my life and this year reminded me just how grateful I should always be for him. We make the best team together and I know that when we are together we can achieve anything.

January - About a week into January we found out I was pregnant. Within a week, we went from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. It was probably one of the most difficult and heartbreaking things we have both gone through - a miscarriage. My husband was by my side and together we got through it. I now know that it happened for a reason but at the time I was just so lost, confused and heartbroken. It was a moment that really shook me because I never imagined that that would be me even though the statistic is 1 in 4 women.

February - In February, I started feeling a bit better and made some goals for myself. I felt motivated to eat healthy and go to the gym as I wanted my body to be as healthy as it could be for when we decided to try again. We went to the beach a lot and just enjoyed each others company.

March - Emotionally, I went through a bit of a rough patch in March. My family came down for a few days and it was really nice to see them and spend time with them. Towards the end of March we booked our tickets to Italy!!! That gave me something to look forward to and I spent most nights and weekends researching and booking things!

April - My 3 brothers came down for Easter so we did a lot of activities together and had a really great time! They went to the casino a couple of times with my husband and won a bunch of money! I also was offered a new job!

May - Towards the end of May, I started my new job and I was so excited!! I went to my friends baby shower and it brought up a few emotions for me. We celebrated my husbands 28th birthday!

June - The best month of the year!! On June 2 we flew to Italy for 3 weeks and we had the most amazing time!!! Our holiday went so smoothly and we had such a great time exploring together, eating and drinking!! We had decided that we would try make a little Italian baby whilst we were abroad and our wish came true!! A couple of days after getting back from our holiday, we found out we were pregnant with our beautiful little rainbow baby!!

July - My morning sickness kicked in and I realised I hated my new job so I quit, had a week off and went back to my old job!! i felt so much happier. We had our first ultrasound - our dating scan - and we saw our precious baby’s healthy heart beat!! We were so relieved and overjoyed.

August - I went back to my old job in the first week of August. We had our 12 week scan in August and towards the end of the month we also popped a balloon and discovered we were having a little princess, a baby girl!!! We were so so happy.

September - We flew up to my family to tell them we were having a baby!! They were all so so happy for us. I told my work and we also announced on social media.

October - Hubby started painting her nursery! We had our 20 week ultrasound we confirmed she was perfect and healthy! I celebrated my 27th birthday and we celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary with a little weekend getaway!!

November - We continued to buy things for the baby! We took progress photos of my belly every couple of weeks. My bump started to get bigger and bigger and I was feeling frequent kicks from her.

December - We celebrated our last Christmas before our little bub joined us. My mum came down for Christmas. We ate lots of yummy food and desert and enjoyed each others company!! Mum and I went shopping and brought heaps of baby stuff!!

We had an amazing year and I am so so excited to see what next year brings for us. I know it will bring us our little bundle of joy and I am so excited to become a parent and to welcome her into this world. I am impatiently counting down the days!! I am 31 weeks pregnant now. I cannot wait to meet her!!

[thoughtfulnessme]

23 July 2022

I have so much to update on.

We went to Italy in June and had the most amazing time! My favourite spots were Lake Como and Florence and I loved seeing all the beautiful cathedrals. We lived our best life and ate and drank so much! The plane trips went by pretty quickly and had quite good food but upon returning we had the worst jet lag for like 2 weeks!

And I hated my new job so I quit and yesterday was my last day. I feel sooo relieved. It was causing me so much anxiety and stress. I was thinking about work, clients and everything I had to do 24/7. I had no idea what I was doing and it just wasn’t the job for me. I’m proud of myself for giving it a go but sooo thankful I get to go back to my old job!!! 9 -5 was killing me, I was getting home after 6pm. I hated the drive and was crying multiple times a week.

Also another reason I was finding it difficult is because...I’m pregnant!! We found out a few days after we got back from Italy. My period was late and my boobs were huge and I had a feeling, I just knew. I took a test and my husband and I revealed it together. We are so so happy. Our little Italian miracle. I’m now 8 weeks and have been having morning sickness since 6 weeks. I gag and vomit most mornings, i’m exhausted and hormonal and I needed to leave the job for prevent unnecessary stress to my body and baby! I’m so so excited. It feels so different this time round because I’m actually having symptoms! I have my 8 week ultrasound on Monday and I can’t wait. I am nervous because I want the baby to be healthy but I have a good feeling that come March next year we will have a little one in our arms!!!

[thoughtfulnessme]

14 May 2022

It’s the end of an era. I actually finally got a new job! It was my fourth time interviewing for the position and I finally got it. I finished my last day of work yesterday and it felt so surreal. For years I have watched people get new jobs and leave and I felt like that would never be me. I thought I would never move on to another job but it finally happened and I’m so excited!

It’s going to be so weird driving to a new workplace and meeting new people. I have been at my old work for always 5 years. I know everyone and everything. I was in such a routine (in my comfort zone) and it was like a second home (although not a good second home). We spend more time at work than our actual home so it felt strange leaving but it a good way. I was getting so over my work and I was sick of training everyone.

So i start my new job on Monday. It’s going to be a bit more of a drive and I’ll have to get into a new routine but I can’t wait. I’m really proud of myself for never giving up. I kept applying, I kept going to interviews and FINALLY it’s my turn to be the one with the new job.

I’m excited to try my hardest at this new job, to push myself and learn a lot.

And in other news, it’s only 19 more days until we travel to Europe!!!!

[thoughtfulnessme]

27/03

Since my last post, in February I had a really good month. I set some new habits for myself such a waking up early and reading, moving my body everyday (gym or walk), cleaning up the kitchen every night, no alcohol, and a few other things. And for that month I was actually really happy and motivated. I was kicking these goals and felt good about myself.

Then March rolled around and I fell off the bandwagon a bit because we were pretty busy and then my family was here for two weeks so that was a lot of eating and drinking. I didn’t go to the gym and I had felt bloated and gross.

After they left, I fell into a hole. Life and it’s problems kind of just smacked me all in the face at once. I felt lost, anxious, upset, angry. I. felt. everything.

I couldn’t go to the gym because I felt so lost and angry which then made me so upset. From there, I was so lost on what to eat. For some reason, deciding what to eat for dinner and lunch is something that has been really difficult for me and the thought of wandering aimlessly around a shop, gives me more anxiety and makes me feel more upset with myself. Why can’t I do these normal things???

For a week, i would wake up and feel horrible, depressed. I was still getting early every day to read but when it came to picking out an outfit for work, I felt so bloated. Nothing sat right on my body and nothing looking nice. And my hair. My hair has been falling out so when I put it up in a ponytail, I have these bald spots. My hair gets oily really quickly but I haven’t been washing it because when I do so much of it falls out and it makes me really upset.

Work was always fine. It helped get my mind of things but the pulling of my hair was still an issue. I have been dealing with this for many years now and it makes me soo upset. Why have I not been strong enough to over come this yet???

I would then get home from work and my horrible wave off emotions would hit me. I felt dead inside. Numb. I felt nothing. My husband would try to talk to me, try to help me. Bless him, he really did try but I was just so upset. Those nights all week were so hard. My mind was being so negative. I wanted to get out of the hole but I couldn’t find the way out. I was suffocating against all these negative emotions.

On Friday night, my amazing husband just held me for 20 minutes. I felt so depressed. I just wanted to stop feeling this way because I couldn’t take it any longer!! I felt a bit better after cuddling him. I read my book.

Saturday. I got up early, read and then went for a walk with my friend. I felt better. I felt like me again. I got home to my husband, and I still felt better. I was laughing, i felt happiness, content. I wanted to clean my house. I wanted to organise my meals and workouts for the week. I also spoke to my brother for an hour which was really good. So Saturday was a first day I have had all week. It was a relief to feel so positive emotions.

I don’t know what brought on this wave of depression and anxiety. I haven’t felt this way since I was on birth control a few years ago. I got my period this week so a part of me really believes my hormones have just been out of control with my miscarriage and everything.

My intentions for this week are to be kind to myself. Keep it simple. Move my body every week. Nourish my body. Wake up early. Read. Tick off some easy things on my list. Be grateful.

The thing I am most grateful for is my husband. He is the best person on this planet. He is so kind, caring, loving, understanding. He tries his best to help me and to be there.

[thoughtfulnessme]

28/01/22

It’s been one week since I went to hospital and had a miscarriage. This week has been hard. I’ve felt a range of emotions. I’ve felt traumatised but I’m proud of myself for pushing through. For going to the gym, eating well, cleaning the house and taking time to heal.

I still don’t know what I want to do from here. Should we travel overseas or try for a baby? At the moment, I really just want to focusing on working out, moving my body, eating well, staying off social media and journaling more.

My husband and I celebrated our 5 years yesterday as well. We went out for dinner together. It was really nice but I also wished that I still had something growing inside of me.

i went out for breakfast with my friend this morning. I didn’t tell her what happened but it was so nice just feeling normal and talking to someone.

I know when the time is right, we will have a beautiful, healthy baby.

[thoughtfulnessme]

25/01/2022

I’ve never experienced something like this before - a loss. I’m grieving for the life I thought we were going to have this year. The first ultrasound, the photos, the announcement, the gender reveals, the baby shopping, setting up the nursery, reading pregnancy books, the birth. It’s all gone. I just feel so alone. And still so shocked that this happened to me. I guess it’s just all still so raw and so new but my husband has been so amazing and supportive.

On Monday, I had to go back to the hospital for another blood test. I then had to wait around for an hour and a half for my result. The nurse confirmed that it was a miscarriage and explained some other things to me. She also gave me a little care package from an organisation called Bears of Hope. it had some brochures about miscarriage, a little candle, a journal, photo frame and a little teddy bear. The package gets donated by another families that have had a miscarriage/still birth. On the bear, it has the name of the baby that was lost. The baby that was lost that i received was lost on 30/10 which is our anniversary so i feel like that bear was made especially for us.

I have taken the rest of the week off work. Sometimes I feel okay but other times I feel so lost and down, so unmotivated and I just want to do nothing.

I’m holding onto my belief that everything happens for a reason .

[thoughtfulnessme]

22 January 2022

And just like that, all the excitement and joy I felt has vanished. It has dried up. All I am left with is an empty feeling, guilt, sadness, and hollowness. And questions. Why did this happen to me? To us? What caused this? Will it happen again?

 I had a miscarriage. When I went to the doctor a couple of weeks after getting 3 positive test results on a pregnancy test, she asked me to take a urine sample. On her first test, it was negative. On her second test, there was only a faint positive line. I got my blood test and she said my pregnancy hormone was low and that I needed another test. I got that test done Thursday morning. All throughout Thursday I had light brown spotting and some cramping. I wasn’t booked in to see my doctor about my blood test results until Monday but I needed to know immediately what was happening within my body. I never had any morning sickness, I wasn’t bloated anymore and my breasts weren’t tender.

I called the doctors reception on Friday morning. I was sitting in the car park at work. I explained my situation and she said another doctor would call me back. Within 2 minutes, my phone rang. The doctor told me my levels were still too low and that I needed to go to the hospital ER. I broke down in tears. He said I was either having a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. My worst fears had been confirmed. The few days before I had already been googling symptoms of a miscarriage but until that moment I still had a bit of hope.

So, I drove home and my husband drove me to the hospital. I had another blood test and a cannula put in my arm.  While waiting for a bed to be ready for me, I started heavily bleeding red blood and my cramps intensified. There was also a large clot.

I was then booked into an ultrasound for 1PM. It was shortly after 11AM. We planned some games on my husbands phone and then I was moved into the short stay area to wait until my ultrasound. My husband was with me the whole time. He was so supportive and I felt so much better having him by my side. I had my ultrasound, which confirmed no baby was inside of me. Shortly after, my doctor came around and told me that weren’t entirely sure what had occurred. They mentioned a chemical miscarriage. Someone from an early pregnancy clinic is going to call me on Monday so I have taken a few more days off work.

I just feel like all the joy has been sucked from me. I don’t want to try for another baby. I had already used my idea of announcing to my husband that I was pregnant. We had all these great videos already and now, they mean nothing. They are useless.

Already, when I see pregnancy people I just feel so sad and I just think, why did this happen to me? I never thought I would be the 1 in 4 that this would happen to. I feel like if I do get pregnant again, it won’t be the same. I won’t be happy and excited, I will just be scared and anxious and wondering, will this happen to me again?

I want to tell my mum what happened but I feel like I am also then robbing her of the joy of finding out that her daughter is pregnant. I’m saying to her hey look we were trying and it did happen but we weren’t successful. I want to be able to give her the good news not the bad news.

It’s just a horrible situation and it’s terrifying that so many women experience this. It is isolating and it makes you feel like something is wrong with you. And for the time being, I don’t want to try again. I don’t want to get pregnant again and just be left in limbo land, I don’t want more blood tests and needles.

I was so happy and couldn’t believe that I was pregnant. Now I just feel broken and empty knowing that there will be no September baby for me.

[thoughtfulnessme]

8 January 2022 - Our New Journey

On 17 December we started trying for a baby. This was the first month we decided we were going to try. And today, I found out that I am pregnant!!

I took 3 pregnancy tests and they were all positive!! So lets go over the story.

About a week ago, I took a pregnancy test (just to see) and it was negative. I had had a couple of symptoms so I just wanted to rule it out. So I put that negative test out of my mind and started watching ovulation videos on youtube, I was even going to buy some ovulation test kits. So, I just kept waiting for my period. A few other weird things had happened but I had also been sick so I put it off as being sick and other per-mensual symptoms. Today was day 37 of my cycle so two days late. My period for the 10 cycles has been somewhere between 28 - 35 days so when I got to day 36, I thought that was kinda weird but the fact that I had a negative test a week ago made me not really thing I would be pregnant. I thought about it and thought what if? But i also told myself, surely not.

Last night I had a really vivid dream that I peed in a cup, took a test and it came back positive. So, being day 37 today I thought, I must take a test. I still just thought maybe my period is late for some weird reason??

So, we had to take our bird to the vet today and then after that I was going to take the test. My husband is home so it made things difficult but I just made out that I was making an anniversary gift for him in our room and that he had to stay in his office on the computer.

So, I peed in the cup and took the test. As usual, the strong line that comes up on the right came up so I was expecting another negative test but then the line on the left popped up, faint at first but then it got darker and darker and I was soooo shocked but so so happy! I couldn’t believe it!!

We were about to have lunch so I had to make the salad which was so hard. I felt so nervous and couldn’t wipe the smile from my face. I hadn’t eaten breakfast so I was really hungry but I couldn’t eat my lunch because I was so excited to tell my husband! So after lunch, i told him I had to go get something to finish making the anniversary gift.

I went to the shops and got one of the tests that say pregnant and how many weeks - i wanted to be sure! I took it in the bathroom at the shops. I waited and soon enough it flashed pregnant 1 - 2 weeks. I was so shocked again!! I went back into the shops and brought some buns because I have always wanted to go the bun in the oven announcement to my husband.

When I got home, I told him again not to come out. I cut open two buns and put a test in each. I also wrote hey dad! on one of them and I also did another test just to be sure. also positive.

I told my husband I was going to make us a lil desert for our movie afternoon. A few minutes later, I told him i needed help getting something out of the oven. My phone was recording on the camera. He opened the oven door and said, “the oven isn’t even on!” I said, just can you check inside the buns? He did and saw the tests and he was so confused but soon realised and he was also so happy and so shocked!!! We never thought that on our first try we would be so so blessed with the biggest gift of all but we are so thankful. So, we are having a baby!! I am feeling pretty overwhelmed. I feel like there is already so much to plan, research and think about. First thing, I want to book in with a doctor and go from there but I am so excited and can’t believe there is a lil somethin somethin inside of me!!!!

[thoughtfulnessme]

01/01/2022 - A New Year!

I can’t believe another year is over, done and dusted! That year flew by and it was one of the best years of my life so lets do a recap!

January - We started the New Year of 2021 up North with my family and friends. For once, we went out on new years and got a bit crunk.

We also celebrated our 4 year anniversary in Fingal Heads. We took my husband’s mums sprinter van there and stayed in a caravan right on the beach where we would hear the ocean. It was a great little trip.

February - My mum came down and I said yes to the dress! We also found P’s tux for the wedding.

March - My family came down for my brother’s 18th birthday! We stayed at a really nice two story apartment right on the beach. We went to the races, to the casino and it was a really fun few days!

May - Start of May we had a drunken casino night and at the end of May we had P’s birthday. We did bowling with his family and then we stayed the night in town. We went up to the highest hotel for dinner and drinks and had a lovely evening together.

June - My family came down again and we had a few drunken casino nights/drinking nights with them!! Went to the races and to top golf.

August- We purchased a new car for me!! A hyundai Kona. My first ever new car and it is amazing. I said bye to my red rocket that I have had since 2015.

Also did a wine tour for my friend’s birthday.

Picked up my dress.

& had a surprise hens night which was amazing!!!

September - Lots of wedding planning.

October - P had his messy, fun bucks weekend!

For my birthday we went to a really nice asian restaurant and also won $1000 at the casino.

Then we flew to our wedding destination and had the best day of our lives at our wedding!!!

November - Our amazing, perfect honeymoon on Hamilton Island! My husband started a new, fancy pants job!

December - We had my husband’s work xmas party so we stayed the night in a hotel. I got waaaayyy to drunk, had a hangover for 2 days

Time off work for Christmas! The family came down and it was our first xmas together in our home town. It was so much more relaxing and low key and so nice just being home.

The weather has been really cruddy though. For new years we went out with my in laws for dinner and drinks and then went back to theirs to play rummy.

We got home at 11am and laid in bed. We watched the midnight fireworks in bed and went to sleep.

Overall, we had an incredible year. We became husband and wife, brought a new car, we continued to save money, go out on fun date nights together. We are both so lucky and fortunate. We were laying in bed last night talking about our new goals for next year and P said it’s a bit of a gimmick because your troubles still follow you into the next year. I said I don’t have any troubles. I don’t have health troubles, or money troubles, i don’t have relationship troubles or personal troubles. We both always remind ourselves how fortunate we are. We live such a great life and I feel so happy. Sure, there are things I would like to change but overall, life is fabulous! I do have a few goals to here is some:

- I would love to become a bit more of a morning person and go to the gym early in the morning sometimes

- Run more at the gym, go on more walks

- Make more dinners/lunches at home instead of always making the same stuff

- Not spend so much on clothes, online shopping etc

- Get a new job

- Do some more stuff around the house - more gardening, new toilet, new carpet

- Continue to have an amazing year with my husband and

- Have a healthy baby with my husband :)

[thoughtfulnessme]

18 December 2021 - Our new journey

Something happened today. We tried for a baby.

I have jokingly been asking my husband for a baby for quite a while now. His response was always that he isn’t ready and that he wants to travel to Europe with me first - fair enough. but the other day we were laying he bed and he said he wanted to try for a baby and that if we did get pregnant, he would be happy with that. We still really want to travel but with the COVID still running rife, we both know that we can’t keep putting our lives on hold. We want to start a family while we are still in our twenties.

So today, i asked him if he wanted to try for a baby and to my surprise he said yes. Tonight, we tried. It was the first time we had ever had sex with the intention of getting pregnant. And it felt really special. i inputted my last few periods into an app and it even said that i am probably in my fertile window.

I don’t expect to get pregnant the first time around and we aren’t seriously trying - we are at the initial stage of if it happens, it happens. I wouldn’t know the first thing about tracking ovulation, fertile windows and all that.

But I was just laying in bed and thinking about my future child and I just wanted to write this to remember the first time we actually tried.

Our future baby is already so loved. We constantly talk about having a baby and what it will be like, the type of parents we will be and how much love we have to give.

So, future baby S - we can’t wait to meet you one day. And to raise you to be a kind, thoughtful, generous, humorous human. We love you so much already and can’t wait for you to come into our lives when you are ready and when you think we are ready for you. I can’t wait to start that next journey with my husband and to see him love a little version of the both of us.

[thoughtfulnessme]

8 November 2021

I’M A MARRIED WOMAN!!! I’M A WIFE!

On 30.10.2021, I married my best friend and soul mate. It was the most perfect and magical day of our lives!!

the week before our wedding, we were really busy. We had meetings with people, my husband to be went out fishing, i had a surprise breakfast, a massage and got my nails done.

on the day of my wedding, i woke up at 7am and makeup for the first girl started at 8am. i read hubbys note to me and he had also gotten me a beautiful necklace with my name on it.

all the mums were soon at my accommodation. we had music playing, a lovely platter. I was soaking it all in but the day was still going so quickly.

At 1pm the photographer and videographer got to my place and we started shooting a few things. I then got into my dress and shortly after that had my first look with my dad which was such a lovely moment. we were both emotional and i gave him cufflinks which said “I loved you first” and had a photo of him and when from when I was only two.

Before i knew it, it was time for my dad, me and my step mum to get in the car and drive to get me married. I was feeling so nervous. We got to the location and I saw P walking down the aisle with his mum. My dad and I walked down the aisle and it was another beautiful moment. When I finally got to P, we held hands and just smiled. We were both so happy. I start to feel all my nerves disappear - it was just me and him.

When it got to my vows, I always thought I would cry my eyes out. I had just read P’s letter on camera and I had bawled. But, something amazing happened. It felt like it was just him and I. my nerves were gone and I was telling him how much he meant to me. I enjoyed saying my vows so much because I was able to go slow and say them meaningfully. His vows were also so beautiful. We were then pronounced husband and wife!!

after family photos, my husband and I went to some locations to get our photos and that was such a fun time. We felt so in love, so happy and it was so fun just trying different poses and being silly. We went to some amazing spots.

We then went back to everyone for our reception. the decorations were incredible! the only downside was that we didn’t get to try much of our food.

we had our speeches, cake cut and then our first dance. There was a bit of a hiccup with the song but i think it still went well. I really loved my dad and daughter dance as well.

After that, it was party time!!! We had so much fun dancing. I had created a really good playlist and even our elderly grandparents were on the dancefloor until late busting a move. We had the best night and it was so amazing to see everyone in one place, enjoying themselves and celebrating our love!!!

On Monday, we went to Hamilton Island for our honey moon and had the best time there as well. Our room was amazing and we had a lil buggy. We had amazing dinners, so many cocktails. We spent melbourne cup day by the pool drinking and I got a lil bit sunburnt!

We did mini golf, hiking, bowling, we also hiked to a secluded beach. We did a sunset cruise which was so fun. We just had the best time relaxing with each other and remembering our wedding day.

On Friday, we also got some sneak peak photos from our photographer and they are amazing!!!!! I cant wait to see other photos.

yesterday (sunday) we flew back home. but it was so nice to be home in our own house. I am back to work tomorrow, wah, but it should be alright.

I still can’t believe we are married!!!