thisclassybroad - Tumblr blog

[thisclassybroad]

Forgive yourself. 💓

[thisclassybroad]

Shit I was not prepared for today

1) the spotting ive been experiencing for the last 6 weeks becoming a full blown mega period

2) having to buy fucking tampax and being reminded of how nasty that shit is and how it fucks with my body

3) the mega pain of this monster fucking period

It’s a joy to be almost 30 and still be caught out by this.

[thisclassybroad]

I started a new job this year and have spent the whole time trying to be non-offensive and be friends with everyone but today I actually thought I was going to flip my shit and go completely ape shit. So many things have gone on this week which have totally pushed me bit by bit and now I wonder whether being 'non-offensive' has equalled 'door mat' which I am utterly fucking done with. I'm tired, irritated and pretty fucking resentful if I'm honest and everyone can bloody bite me.

[thisclassybroad]

Strangest night ever

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[thisclassybroad]

Missed my girl so bought new underwear and sent her pictures. Cannot wait for Monday night

[thisclassybroad]

You know it's love when you can discuss how much trapped wind you have and then high 5 after you've relieved it by farting

[thisclassybroad]

so this is life

there’s been a lot going on and i’ve been kinda quiet on here because of it but i feel that during a rare time when i have some time to myself i’m going to take this time to reflect.

So here I am in a new year with a lot of changes happening 

1) I’m about to complete on a new flat with R 

This is some hella scurry shit. I’ve basically decided I am spending my  life with this person. I just know one day we will be wife and wife and I actually can’t wait for it to happen. The first step is this flat. We’re in the final stages of the purchase so I feel pretty secure in it right now and I’m super excited to be realising all of my pinterest dreams soon. It’s going to be a lot of work but I think it will also be a lot of fun so fingers crossed it all works out - I’ll be updating soon. 

2) I passed my mother fucking probation at my new job which = I am now in my first full time permanent real life job EVER in an industry I actually want to work in

This has been a major win for me. Anyone that knows me well knows that my career has been a serious stressor in my life. I spent 4 years in retail after I finished university and I absolutely hated it. Minimum wage, shitty customers, anti-social hours - honestly, I have serious respect for people that make retail their career because it is by far one of the toughest and least rewarding places to be in especially in certain areas. During this time I worked for free for one year which included moving to the other side of the world and then managed to hook myself up with bits of work and eventually this hella awesome role with hella awesome people that I really fucking love. I feel so lucky to be in this position and I can’t wait to grow in it and for things to get even better.

3) R and I are in an amazing place

Our relationship has been really rocky at times and that is mainly due to me. I have not been the best girlfriend. In fact, I’m sure sometimes I have been the worst. 

Last year I was a super dick and I basically got the most serious verbal bitch slap to the face which actually knocked a whole lot of sense into me. I finally appreciate the amazing woman I have by my side. She is literally the definition of ‘ride or die’ and I am so fucking lucky to be with her. Now that I’ve stopped barricading myself off behind a ‘protective’ but really actually quite destructive wall and really believe someone can love me and not have a hidden agenda (yeah, fuck you abusive shitty fucking ex) it’s made a world of difference to us and we have never been happier. 

4) I’m finally living 

I feel that the years 23/24 - 27 have really been a blur, and I don’t mean that because they’ve gone so fast. I actually feel like they never happened and I think that’s because I was so amazingly depressed. I don’t think I’ve ever really gone into the details here on how depression has affected me over the years but those around me have seen it and have definitely felt it and, it’s only now where I’ve probably been in the longest up phase of the cycle in a while, that I can see where I was and where I am now. For 3-4 years I was anxious, scared, angry tired, slow, confused, trapped and really lonely and I finally feel now i can breathe. I finally feel like I can meet new people without being drunk. I finally feel like I can be truly confident. I finally feel like I can love and be loved. I finally feel like I can go out and experience new things. I finally feel like I am myself again, and I’ve really missed me. I have a good feeling about what is to come and I’m so looking forward to all of the fun I have planned. I plan to grab life by the horns whilst I can and really make the most of everything. I’m just really really happy and I’m going to appreciate every moment of this. 

There are a few more things but writing this is making me a bit sleepy and I would love to have a lie down and a relax now. Anyway, I thought it would be cool to post a positive update esp. as so much of my blog has been negative. It’s always good to shout about the good things. I’m just so thankful to all of the awesome people both IRL and online who have helped me out over the years and have so much love for them for helping me get to where I’m at now. 

[thisclassybroad]

Saturday lunch times :) (at Yauatcha Soho)

[thisclassybroad]

Left work at 9pm and took myself for a date...

[thisclassybroad]

Finally had the guts to tell R how much I feel like a total submissive and how I would be down for her to be a domme if she wanted to and she totally understood and agreed with me and said (and I quote) 'I'm so glad you told me this babe because now I feel like I can do exactly what I want' 😍😍😍😍. So so happy, so so excited. We had the best time after and I couldn't stop thinking about her all day. God how the fuck did I luck out with this amazing woman?!

[thisclassybroad]

On our beautiful walk this morning :)

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Crickhowell, Wales

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Every time my fucking period comes I'm filled with so many conflicting emotions which basically bounce between 'NOT NOW PLEASE JUST ONE MORE WEEK' and 'I'M SO GLAD MY UTERUS IS ACTUALLY WORKING AND I CAN HAVE BABIES'.

[thisclassybroad]

I stopped running and feeding my body with food that loves and strengthens it and that makes me sad because I started to accept my body as weak and unworthy again and that's just not fucking on. So I've started running again and I'm starting to nourish myself with things that will make me energised and productive rather than sloth like and depressed and I'm already feeling heaps better for it. I can already feel myself getting stronger and I'm so much happier for it. Fuck yeah strength and energy!

[thisclassybroad]

R and I have been together for 5 years now and we've had the nicest time celebrating our time together this weekend. It's all been really unplanned because we've both been so busy with work and other things but it's actually been amazing. We went for brunch in the village, sat by the lake and just hung out with each other, then spontaneously booked this lovely hotel and went for an amazing dinner that I had been treated to by work. Came back to the hotel - had some of the best sex ever and then passed out in each others arms. It's just been great so far and today we're going to afternoon tea! I kind of hate to not have things like this organised. It stresses me out and frustrates me a lot but somehow it's been one of the most relaxing carefree experiences I've had this year and I'm so glad that I've been able to share it with R. She's the best and has really helped me change for the better. Literally my soul mate.

[thisclassybroad]

Had the loveliest Valentine's Day with my amazing girlfriend and stayed up way too late for a Sunday so today is going to be tough but I'm just so fucking happy.