thirteenthofoctober

[thirteenthofoctober]

cutie with a guitar 🥰

[thirteenthofoctober]

Kang Yihwa's Music Video Shatters Silence: The Idol That Never Debuted with X Company

In the world of K-pop, where stars shine brightly and music reigns supreme, Kang Yihwa's journey is a story of resilience and unwavering passion. With his recent music video release, Yihwa has sent shockwaves through the industry, finally emerging from the shadows after years of being the idol that never debuted with X Company.

For years, fans wondered about the fate of this enigmatic talent who once stood on the brink of stardom. Kang Yihwa had trained diligently under X Company, one of the industry's renowned talent agencies, perfecting his skills. However, despite the countless hours of hard work and dedication, he never debuted.

Now, Yihwa's haunting vocals and mesmerizing dance moves have taken the internet by storm, revealing a side of him that fans had only glimpsed in their dreams. The music video is a visual masterpiece, artfully blending elements of longing, ethereal beauty and questioning ones identity. Yihwa mesmerizing presence has captivated audiences, leaving them eagerly yearning for more.

As the video's views continue to climb and the comments section overflows with praise and admiration, Kang Yihwa's journey from the shadows into the spotlight serves as a testament to the indomitable spirit of artists who refuse to be silenced. His story is a reminder that talent and determination can defy even the most challenging odds.

His association with Company X took a dark turn when his sexual orientation was revealed prematurely, at a time when such matters should be handled with utmost sensitivity. Sadly, Yihwa received no compassion in this regard. Instead, he faced the harsh consequences of his truth: his contract was abruptly terminated, and he was forced out of his own home.

Devoid of familial support, Yihwa clung to his heavily funded scholarship as his lifeline. Despite the adversity, he managed to graduate with honors from a prestigious university. Yet, his heart never truly left the world of music and dance. As he ventured into adulthood and established valuable connections, fate eventually led him back to the entertainment industry, where his passion had always resided.

Yihwa's music video is not just a song; it's a message to the world. It's the story of an idol who never debuted but never gave up. It's a haunting melody that echoes in the hearts of fans, inspiring them to believe that dreams, no matter how long deferred, can still come true. As Kang Yihwa's rises to stardom, his tale will continue to inspire aspiring artists and fans alike.

[thirteenthofoctober]

FACE - TRACKLIST

Face-Off

Interlude: Dive

Like Crazy

Alone

Set Me Free (Pt. 2)

Like Crazy (English Version)

[thirteenthofoctober]

011.

a feeling of numbness has crept over him. his actions repetitive— his drive at an all time low. because what’s the point? he seems to have lost his reason or will to live. he finds himself sinking into a loop of activities but they’re all just distractions. it’s natural for him to feel this way. after all, betrayal has historically been his downfall but unlike before— he sought comfort in isolation rather than social circles.

on days where his self-worth peaked, he was active. under the pretence of being busy, he was coping. it wasn’t a complete lie though, he was busy.. busy disassociating. just stuck in a constant loop of tiktok videos, webtoons and novels. he should have been angry— anger would have been better. it was easier to manage anger, you just had to channel it outwards.

but he couldn’t bring himself to feel such an emotion. instead all he felt was disappointment. even now, he faces the same issues of weak bonds with his friends. it was his own fault— right? his actions being misunderstood.. it had to be. that would be the only reason anyone would misunderstand him, if they just didn’t know him. it was his own fault. he placed people on a higher pedestal than he should— he should let them climb to that place, not start them off there.

in solitude, his angst helped channeled himself into his work. working harder than ever, yihwa created his first masterpiece.. a studio album: FACE— like the title, the album tells the story of how yihwa learned to face himself and stand at a new starting point.

[thirteenthofoctober]

010.

the best gift to yourself is a social media cleanse— to distance yourself from continuously staring at a screen and checking notifications like you’re checking for a pulse. a social media cleanse is the best thing that you could possibly do for your mental health. all this applies when your actions are from your own free will. it’s hard to distance yourself from anything but it’s especially hard when it’s something that you are forced to do.

the first few weeks were just like that for yihwa, difficult.

he kept absentmindedly clicking where his twitter app would’ve been on his phone, he kept grabbing for his phone in the middle of the night to check for notifications. he wrote tweets in his drafts and then deleted them later in anger because what the absolute fuck was he doing?

it wasn’t the end of the world, it was just a stupid application… but he missed his friends. he missed being around people even though it was just virtually.. the presence of having someone in his back pocket to reach out to? he missed that.

the only reason yihwa survived was because of jiwon, jaehwa & noeul. they kept him distracted, entertained and loved. soon enough, yihwa no longer reached for his phone for amusement. he simply went to jaehwa’s room or noeul’s room or went over to jiwon’s place. sometimes— he even went out all by himself. he got lost and found inspiration.

that was the only time he took out his phone— to write.

there were times when he thought of the reason why he needed the cleanse and in those moments, he channeled his grief into his work. using his own emotions to give more meaning— more life to his characters.

[thirteenthofoctober]

author’s note. hi everyone. 🥺 thank you for waiting for yihwa. honestly the decision to bring him back today was solely bc of the news that bts will be enlisting. i felt really really sad and playing yihwa always makes me happy so that’s why he’s back. i’m still trying to sort out a lot of things for myself in real life ( i’m moving this weekend! :D ) and yihwa is still learning to not stalk his ex but as always, i’ll try my best to be around.

[thirteenthofoctober]

all i ever wanted was to be loved by you.

[thirteenthofoctober]

the one prince of everyone’s dreams ♡ for @kimtaegis 

[thirteenthofoctober]

009.

at this point, yihwa was convinced that life had a personal vendetta against him. for him to have two consecutive good days? it was unheard of. all he could do was stare blasphemously at the article that twitter itself had notified him of. an unsettling queasiness gripped him as he read the headline.

kim dong-young, successor of imoogi intellix, to marry heiress, kim mi-seon.

and down a rabbit hole he fell.

article after article, it was unbelievable how many had popped up overnight.. and how many kept popping up. about their plans for the future.. especially about their wedding. even when his vision blurred with unshed tears, he didn't stop scrolling, reading, searching.. searching for a single article that said their relationship was fake. something to hold on to instead of the impossible truth. this woman had accomplished what yihwa had failed to do in six years in just a matter of months.

it just wasn't fair.

as tears tumbled down his face, yihwa aggressively wiped them away with the back of his hands. he tossed phone far away from him on the bed as he possibly could, rising to his feet.

he didn't have time for this today.

today was the day of hyunsu's birthday party and hyo's housewarming. he had things to do, people to see, drinks to have-- he was going to enjoy himself. dong-young be damned.

and he did enjoy himself, he enjoyed himself so much that he barely remembered what had happened the night before. the tweets and notifications that flooded his twitter were the only reminders of the eventful evening he had.

with those memories came the rude awakening of what had happened before... his conversation with nike and then with kitae, which led to yihwa muting the names of both dong-young and his whore as a bold refusal of being fed information about them.

yet, even as he received notification after notification on twitter... his mind drifted to dong-young. he found his thumbs typing in his name-- unconsciously, he scavenging for information again and again. he knew what he was doing was wrong and it was unhealthy for him but he was at the mercy of his emotions. he just couldn't stop himself. suddenly, the place where his broken heart had found refuge was a war zone for his mind.

so in a moment of complete sanity, yihwa took control of his actions and simply deactivated his accounts.. both of them.

it was for the best.

[thirteenthofoctober]

oh my god jimin

[thirteenthofoctober]

[thirteenthofoctober]

⬉ this user posts about the fact that they’re writing instead of actually writing

[thirteenthofoctober]

&. 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝, 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  you  know  that  dynamic  of  the  emotionally  closed  off  one  &  the  kind  one  they  have  a  soft  spot  for?  yeah,  that’s  the  vibe.  )

said from the lone wolf.

❛ you think you know me, but the truth is, you don’t. ❜

❛ going home isn’t an option anymore. ❜

❛ i’m fine. there’s nothing for you to worry about. ❜ 

❛ do you wish i was different? ❜ 

❛ i just, i don’t want anything bad to happen to you. ❜ 

❛ you deserve better than what you’ve got. ❜

❛ i guess we both lost something we were fond of. ❜ 

❛ i’m not leaving you out here alone. ❜ 

❛ you don’t have to keep me company, i’m fine by myself. ❜ 

❛ coming here to see you is the only place i could go. ❜

❛ i’m afraid of losing you, okay? ❜ 

❛ i know you probably hate me right now, and i get it. ❜

❛ what is with your weird fascination with me? ❜ 

❛ yeah, you keep on telling yourself that bullshit. ❜ 

❛ i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, i just have a lot on my plate. ❜ 

❛ you’re lucky you got away with only a scratch. ❜ 

❛ if i could be a different person, i promise you, i would be. ❜

❛ people like us don’t get to decide when we’re done. ❜

❛ i’ve never had anything good happen to me when i trusted others. ❜

❛ you won’t survive out there. they tear all good things apart. ❜

❛ i don’t know what’s the truth or what’s a lie anymore. ❜ 

❛ you got guts, i’ll give you that. ❜ 

❛ the more you know, the shorter your life will be. ❜ 

❛ for the first time in years, i felt something that i thought had been lost to me. ❜ 

❛ what you think you’re going through is nothing to what i have been through. ❜ 

said from the soft spot. 

❛ you’re not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❛ how is it that you’re never scared? ❜

❛ you think i’m weak because i’m not like you. ❜

❛ you wanted to be left alone, right? ❜ 

❛ how do you make the pain go away? ❜

❛ you shouldn’t smoke, you know. ❜

❛ destroy what is destroying you. ❜

❛ i hope you find the peace you’re searching for. ❜

❛ you know my door is always open to you. ❜

❛ i look at you and my heart breaks because all i see is loneliness. ❜

❛ you’re avoiding the subject and you know it. what are you hiding from me? ❜ 

❛ you’re not at war anymore, you can come home. ❜

❛ it feels like you’ve been avoiding me. ❜

❛ what are you so afraid of? ❜

❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜ 

❛ why do you care? you could have just walked away. ❜ 

❛ i know you. how else do you think i found you so easily? ❜

❛ if it was the other way around, would you have come back for me? ❜ 

❛ i just thought you’d like some company. ❜ 

❛ are you jealous? want me all to yourself, do you? ❜

❛ i knew you had a heart. ❜ 

❛ can you look at me? please? ❜

❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ if you won’t take care of yourself, then who will? ❜

❛ you have something beautiful inside of you. it’s hard for some people to tell, but it’s there. ❜

[thirteenthofoctober]

this jimin in this ysl shirt

[thirteenthofoctober]

[thirteenthofoctober]

« It’s October 3rd. »

[thirteenthofoctober]

008.

over a thousand kilometres above the city of daegu upon palgongsan, yihwa sat in a crouched position. he sat on his haunches near the edge of the peak, simply peering over. entirely filled of curiosity, his eyes marvelled at beauty below him. and just like a cat, a mischievous grin spread across his features. it was radiant enough to put the sun to shame and the beauty of it was that the reason for his smile was no one else but himself.

for many months now, yihwa had been avoiding being alone with himself. each night, he was busy if not with friends then with strangers— frequenting bars and clubs until the employees became too familiar with the man. they knew his drinks, they knew his name and they knew his story. the truth was that yihwa simply didn't trust himself to be alone with his thoughts so he chose to drink (amongst other things) to forget and completely be numb to his emotions because truly.. he had so many them.

thoughts of his future. did he even have one? did he even want one?.. he couldn't serve coffees for the rest of his life. that just wasn't him. his purpose was lost and he needed to find it. should he go back to school? should he focus on writing?

and of course, thoughts of his future always came with the thoughts of his past. his biggest mistakes and the small decisions he took that led him to where he is now— then came the thoughts of the present. those were the most complicated ones. he was so thankful to be surrounded by the people that were currently in his life, so happy that he wasn't alone anymore but the more people that came into his life, the more he questions.. where did he stand with them?

yihwa was the type of person to love someone endlessly, to trust them until they gave him a reason not to but did the people in his life trust him the same? did they love him the same? these thoughts never left his mind and they were one of the reasons he was afraid to be alone with them.. to be honest, he was afraid of the answer he would arrive at.

yet, with the trail he had just climbed behind him and the picturesque landscape before him, yihwa for the first time, in a very long time, felt entirely at peace to be alone. his thoughts were present, as they always were, but this time, he wasn't trying to escape them. he sat down on the dirt, crossing his legs in an attempt to get comfortable— as he welcomed each and every thought that he was actively trying to avoid.

for months, yihwa had been searching for a safe space amongst others.. it was time for him to find it within himself.