thinkhappythoughts

[thinkhappythoughts]

we need to make using chatgpt embarrassing bc sorry it really is. what do you mean you can’t write an email

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I’m afraid to get on tumblr after liam........tumblr is the only reason I knew about the boys before anyone else in the states (in my area anyway)

Absolutely crushed!

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Well well well if it isn't the consequences (dishes) of my own actions (baking)

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One of my favorite “kids and religion” stories is still about my cousin and his mom. He was like seven or eight at the time, and had given up McDonald’s for Lent. He had a really bad day at school, and was crying, and my aunt was trying to cheer him up; she said God wouldn’t mind if he broke the Lenten vow once, and come on, they could do it together, just the two of them. And he stops crying, looks at her, and goes “Oh my God, you’re the devil”

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I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

Martin Luther King Jr.

January 15, 1929 - April 4, 1968

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Just for anyone still thinking the civil rights movement was “SO long ago!”

Fred Hampton would be 72 this year if police hadn’t executed him at age 21.

Ruby Bridges is 65.

MLK would be 91 (he was assassinated at 39).

Malcom X would be 95 (he was assassinated at 39).

Claudette Colvin (the first Black woman known to refuse to give up her seat AT 15) is only 80.

Mary Louise Smith is 83.

Fred Gray is 89.

EMMETT TILL WOULD BE 79 (he was murdered at age 14 because of a white woman’s lie).

Ask yourself how old your grandparents are. Hell, how old your PARENTS are. How old are the people in most government seats right now?

Miss me with that bullshit of “It’S sO lOnG aGo. Things are better now.” These people and so many more who aren’t able to be here would be distraught at what is STILL fucking happening today. To say things like that is just willfully turning your head away from the injustices that we see today! That’s the that on that.

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Sunflowers commish

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As Bed Bath and Above, so Bed Bath and Below

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trying out the new paints with a color study

[id: gouache painting of a black and white cat on a bright yellow background. she looks down at the viewer with bright blue eyes. she's wearing a blue collar with a round blue bell and a big red heart with the letters "ty". on the second picture there's the same painting surrounded by gouache tubes. /end id]

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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) // dir. Larry Roemer

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Headernotes:

- THIS IS A LONG POST! - Anything in Parenthesis, feel free to change or remove - Feel free to change pronouns to match - Thank you for reblogging and using! <3

“(Name), can you explain again what we’re doing?”

We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh…to embrace the majesty of the winter landscape…and select that most important of Christmas symbols.”

“We’re not driving all the way here so you can get one of those stupid ties with the Santa Clauses on it, are we?”

“Some jackass is riding my tail.”

“(Name)! Don’t provoke them!”

“Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber.”

“Eat my road grit, liver lips!”

“(Name), stop it! I don’t want to spend the holidays dead!”

“Will you just take it easy, (Name)? I’m in complete control.”

“(Name), we’re stuck under a truck!”

“Do you think I don’t know that?”

“For Christ sake, I didn’t do this on purpose!” 

“My toes are numb.”

“I can’t feel my leg.”

“(Name), that thing wouldn’t fit in our yard.”

“It’s not going in our yard, (Name). It’s going in our living room.”

“She’ll see it later, (Name). Her eyes are frozen.”

“Hey, (Name)! Where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?”

“You’ve got a lot of nerve talking to me like that.”

“I wasn’t talking to you.”

“It looks great. A little full. A lot of sap.”

“Did I tell you I talked to my mother?”

“They’ve decided they’re coming for Christmas too.”

“You’re forgetting how difficult it’s gonna be having everybody in the house.”

“(Name), they’re family. They’re not strangers off the street.”

“Yeah. And about my mother accusing your mother of buying cheap hot dogs. And your mother accusing my mother of waxing her upper lip.”

“I want to have Christmas here in our house. It means a lot to me. All my life I’ve wanted to have a big family Christmas.”

“The question is, what will you do with that bonus? Gonna blow it on yourself, I hope.”

“Oh, my God, you’re putting in a pool.”

“Layman’s terms. None of that inside bullshit jargon nobody understands.”

“Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass.Happy Hanukkah.”

“Wouldn’t be the Christmas shopping season if stores were less hooter–Hotter than they are.”

“You have your coat on.”

“There is a nip in the air though.”

“Can I take something out for you?”

“'Tis the season to be merry.”

“Folks! Folks! Folks! Merry Christmas!”

“Look at how big you’ve gotten!”

“They’re not sleeping in my room. I’m gonna go crazy.”

“We’re gonna have the best-looking house in town.”

“Come on, unravel these. You have to check every bulb. Got a little knot here. You work on that. I’ll get the other box.”

“Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?”

“We’re all making sacrifices, (Name).”

“Well, I don’t know what to say except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.”

“And why is the carpet all wet, (Name)?”

I don’t know, (Name)!”

“I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard, staring at the house in my pajamas.”

“Talk about pissing your money away.”

“Let’s get in where it’s warm.”

“Now, look, if you need any help…give me a holler. I’ll be asleep.”

“Where the hell is that cold coming from?”

“I want to take off these clothes, sit with a glass of wine and kiss your body.”

“Are you out here for a reason, or are you just avoiding the family?”

“Do you honestly think I would check thousands of lights if the extension cord wasn’t plugged in?”

“You deserve a home like this to spend Christmas in.”

“You taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.”

“I hope this adds to your enjoyment of the holidays.”

“You got a kiss for me?”

“Better take a rain check on that. (pronouns) got a lip fungus they ain’t identified yet.”

“We named him that because he’s got this sinus condition.”

“You pet him and he’ll love you till the day you die.”

“If I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised then I am right now.”

“After that long drive, we could use a little private time together.”

“(Name), help me get some hot chocolate. It’s cold.”

“A little tree water ain’t gonna hurt him. Before we left, he drank a half a quart of Pennzoil. Boy, when he lifted his leg the next morning…”

“It’s a crying shame the older kids couldn’t make it.”

“She’s got these big horns growing right out above her ears. Yeah, she’s ugly as sin, but a sweet gal. And a hell of a good cook.”

“Can I refill your eggnog? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to nowhere and leave you for dead?”

“Oh, that there? That’s an RV.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the middle of an important call. Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I wait.”

“We’re gonna fly down the hill with this stuff.”

“You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced because every time (Name) revved up the microwave…I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for a half-hour or so.”

“Nothing like waiting till the last minute, huh?”

“What are you doing up, sweetheart?”

“You shouldn’t use that word.”

“I don’t think he should be nervous and you shouldn’t be either. Because if you’re good, Santa knows it. If you believe in him and you believe in your mom and you believe in your…Your dad. If you’ve been good all year round, Santa is gonna bring you something.”

“Well, I happen to know for a fact that Santa Claus is real. And in the next couple of days… somehow I’m gonna prove it to you.”

“It’s good you came to stay with us.”

“I think you’d better go back to bed now.”

“Aren’t you having any breakfast?”

“Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn. The clean, cool chill of the holiday air.

And an asshole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.”

“It’s a sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match near it.”

“Merry Christmas. Shitter was full!”

“In seven years he couldn’t find a job?”

“(Name) and I want to help you give the kids a nice Christmas.”

“This isn’t charity. It’s family.”

“If you don’t tell me what they want, I’ll go out and get it on my own.”

“Is your house on fire, (Name)?”

“No, those are Christmas lights.”

“Don’t throw me down, (Name).”

“Oh, that was fun. I love riding in cars.”

“Oh, dear. Did I break wind?”

“You shouldn’t have brought presents.”

“This box is meowing.”

“(Name)? (pronoun) passed away 30 years ago.”

“They want you to say grace. The blessing!”

“I told you we put it in too early.”

“I heard on the news that a pilot spotted Santa’s sled on its way from New York.”

“Is there anything else I can do for you, (Name)?”

“If he keeps it up, it will be his last Christmas.”

“Look what you’ve done to my tree!”

“It was an ugly tree, anyway.”

“I’m sorry if I’ve been a little short with everyone lately.”

“…I didn’t have enough in my account to cover the check.”

“I can’t swim, (Name).”

“(Name), that’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.”

“If this isn’t the biggest punch in the face I ever got. Goddamn it!”

“I wanna look him straight in the eye and tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, four-flushing low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”

“He’s got that crazed look in his eye.”

“Turn that thing off and get in the house!”

“Aren’t you a bit sorry we didn’t get a Christmas tree?”

“Well, where you gonna find a tree at this hour on Christmas Eve?”

“Could you just keep it in mind the next time you go berserk?”

“I didn’t go berserk. I simply solved a problem.”

“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”

“I’m gonna catch it in the coat and smack it with the hammer.”

“I’m going in with him.”

“You just march right over there and slug that creep in the face.”

“I can’t just attack someone.”

“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm

holiday emergency here.”

“We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fuckin’ Kaye.”

“And when Santa squeezes his ass down that chimney tonight he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nut house.”

“Worse? How could they get any worse? Take a look around you, (Name). We’re at the threshold of hell!”

“You losing your temper with the whole family only makes things worse.”

“Are you gonna recite The Night Before Christmas?”

“No. It’s your house. It’s your Christmas.”

“You about ready to do some kissing?”

“I’m sorry. This is our family’s first kidnapping.”

“I’ll be more than happy to take the rap on this.”

“If you wanna come in, you are gonna have to break down the goddamn door!”

“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”

“I did something I shouldn’t have, and these people called me on it.”

“It’s Santa Claus!”

“She thinks she sees Santa.”

“No, it’s the Christmas star. And that’s all that matters tonight. Not bonuses or gifts or turkeys or trees. See, kids…it means something different to everybody. Now I know what it means to me.”

“That ain’t the frigging Christmas star. It’s a light on the sewage treatment plant.”

“Merry Christmas, honey.”

[thinkhappythoughts]

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a lot of media outlets are saying that the thin brow is back and I just need everyone to know that this is misinformation. protect yourselves

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linden frederick + treehouse // alex g

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Imagine the drama if apple added a feature that notified you if someone took a screenshot of your conversation

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time to bake something! sure hope there won’t be dishes once i’m finished!